How exactly did Shiniji learn to love himself? He was just saying

He didn't learn how. He had an epiphany and wants to start learning. Basically the ending is the beginning.

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>>157124626
>epiphany
How do I get one?

>>157124199
>>157124722

I wish I could tell you, as it's something i struggle with to this very day.

>>157124722
Lol go read a book nigger.

>>157124722
They don't exist. They're the great lie of all fiction.

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>>157124626
He identifies the basic error in judgment that lead him to his perspective and it closes on him turning a corner, having defeated the folding chair, what he'll become no longer predictable by what's occurred.

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>>157124199
Have you been listening to too many Mark Kozelek songs or something? You know that's bad for your mental health.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7aLPQEfrFE

>>157124199
Kaworu told him he was worthy of love and then he was like, well shit nigga if the albino alien says it then it must be true!

Do you love yourself /a/ ?

>>157129132
Fuck no.

>>157124199
Shinji had depression and felt useless, he came to realize that maybe its okay to live and start all over again, like appreciate his life and his surroundings.

>How do you learn to love yourself?
I havent reached this level yet, but I don't care about that anymore... I think I've reached the bottom so from now on whatever happens its okay since I'll have vidya whenever I get home.

>>157124722
do some shrooms or something

>>157129186

kek

>>157130083
this

>>157124199
>>157124722
meditate, look into psychedelics, reject materialism and atheism

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>>157129132
How could I?

>>157129132

If I did I wouldn't be here.

>>157124199
>>157124722
>he was just saying some shitty standard lines at the end
>how do i get an epiphany
All emotional responses happen thus: external stimuli-->internal, automatic subconscious reaction-->learned response creates internally generated stimuli--internal, secondary reaction in conscious mind-->external response to initiating event

You have to understand yourself. Introspect on your own emotions. Try to figure out why you feel about things the way you feel about them.

Say you're Shinji. He's scared of emotional intimacy because he doesn't want to be hurt because he has been hurt by people close to him (primarily, losing his mother and his father). He doesn't realize this himself (even though it's obvious to an external audience), and he is forced to literally inspect his internal world and emotions, which helps him discover why he's so scared of interacting with people.

Once he figures out WHY he's scared of other people, the next step is identifying what that fear feels like so he can manually intercede with a conscious decision between all the automatic responses to stimuli he has learned to generate by his instincts "reprogramming" him based off of his environment.

It also helps that, because of his literal trip into his own internal self, he figures out that what his external reaction to the initiating event is most often not even based on the initiating event itself, but whatever learned, internal response his subconscious has developed.

It's natural to want to not hurt, so he has subconsciously learned to distance himself to limit pain. Once he is aware of this process of external stimuli-->internal, automatic subconscious reaction-->internally generated stimuli-->conscious reaction to internal stimuli-->external action, he can manually intercede and substitute his preferred or desired reaction in place of his learned one (like when he stops choking Asuka).

Study yourself. Study psychology. Put faith in the corny catchphrase wisdom.

>>157129297
>I think I've reached the bottom
>its okay since I'll have vidya
If you still have vidya, you still have a long way left to fall. Never forget that things can (and probably will) always get worse than they are now.

>>157124199
>What does it mean to love yourself? How do you learn to love yourself? What does it feel like?
You're on the wrong site to be asking those kinds of questions, pal.

>>157129132
I'm all i truly have for the duration of my whole life so i might as well.

>>157124199
What if I don't deserve to love myself?

>>157131636
Unforunately, "you" exist in a constant state of cognitive dissonance.

Part of you is an automatic, subconscious mind that works with your input and isn't very "smart" in terms of social understanding. That's your "ego", to make it simple. The other part is your consciousness, which is only part of your mind and the only part that you can actively recognize as "you".

Your ego isn't anything more than automated defense system. The whole point of it is to take whatever actions it believes are necessary to keep you alive and breeding. Sometimes, that means "reprogramming" you so that you avoid difficult emotional situations. Sometimes that means you "learning" to become angry at certain events. Sometimes that means completely repressing memories. Whatever it feels is necessary, it can do.

Unfortunately, because of how we are taught to think about our "self", recognizing the existence of the ego causes a defense response from the ego. Your conscious self is very prideful and doesn't like the idea that "you" aren't totally in control, and your ego tries to defend you from its very existence.

The only way to recognize what is and isn't an ego response is through the repeated practice of doubting yourself. You have to doubt all of your thoughts and all of your actions and all of your reactions about external events and stimuli. You have to wonder things like, "Does this specific situation actually upset me, or am I being emotionally triggered by a learned-response from something that happened when I was a child?"

Embracing that doubt and those questions will make you more aware of how much of your "personality" is just a bunch of learned-responses and habitual reactions. Once you understand what those automatic responses feel like, you can intercept those.

Learning to doubt your internal mind is the only way you can achieve ego-recognition. Once you can recognize your own ego, you own automatic mind, you can side step those defenses to get an epiphany.

>>157132092
>deserve to love myself
Sounds like you've got some self destructive morals there, consider changing them.

>>157131746
i'd trade everything for me life in the past

>>157124199
He didn't, which is why the rebuilds are happening. Kawarou talks about it briefly IIRC.

>>157131636
>>157132112
To sum up:
There are two parts to "you": a chemical program running on an organic computer, and your consciousness which is 1) located entirely in the frontal lobe and 2) the "user" in this analogy.

Once you understand the stimulus/response chain of emotions, and you've taken the time and made the effort to learn and understand what external events trigger which emotional response and further what your habitual-conscious reactions are to those internal emotional responses, you can start to get a picture of why you feel the way you do about given things.

Once you understand why you feel a certain way and understand that it's simply a chain reaction of stimuli/responses, and you know how the emotions feel so you can notice when you are having one of these learned, habitual responses to certain stimuli, and you've identified what are the results of your ego defense system and you know what is your subconscious mind versus your conscious mind reactions, you can intercede in those automatic response with the reaction you want to take.

The first time you consciously respond to something, completely free of your ego and your automatic mind, that's when the epiphany hits.

That's what Shinji went through via temporarily becoming "god" in a way. Just a whole lot of accurate, exhaustive introspection hitting his frontal lobe while he was in a state of ego-death. He couldn't help but have an epiphany. That's why he let go of Asuka's throat--he was choking her because of a learned response, he realized that, and let go.

She says he's disgusting for the same reason.