You go to sleep and the day after you wake up as Shinji Ikari

>>145936928
Nothing, i would be a pussy just like him.

>>145936928
id get in the damn robot.
live alone and not with a whore.
also asuka is not worth tolerating her.

>hey shinji kun can you give this card to Rei, I forgot to give it to her
>sure
>go into Rei's house
>see her naked
>push her onto her bed
>unzips dick

I'd be glad to die after that.

>>145937209

You would rape your aunt?

>>145936928
I'd fuck Rei to prevent instrumentality and Kaiji doesn't die.

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>>145936928
I'd learn how to use my dick, and fuck all the girls

>>145937464
Who is also genetically the same as your mother?

>>145936928
everything because unlike Shinji I am not incompetent

>>145937842
oops meant to reply to:>>145937374

>>145937374
Mother*

>>145936928
I'd elope with Kaworu once I met him, fuck everything else.

i would get some of that drunk caki puss and also probably slap asuka around a few times

>>145937920
So fuck everything?

misato would be pregnant with my baby

I'm navy seal irl. You tell me

>>145938692
gonna go with "nothing" because american military is on the same cowardly wimp level as shinji, but most people forget about it since italian soldiers take the cowardly incompetence cake

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>>145938825
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

>>145937464
How the fuck would you prevent Kaiji from dying?

>>145936928
Nothing excpet Shinji becomes fat by the time of EoE.

Asuka dies mysteriously in an EVA-trampling accident

I marry Rei before EoE.

I would try to enjoy the battles.
I would try to heal the girls (if I have one skill then it is to console young teens with issues)
I would try to enjoy the girls.
I would use some bs about synching with the eva to deliver accurate warnings to dad about the final assault.
I would warn Kaji. Fuck I really liked him.
I would bro it up with kenuke and touji.
I would bully penpen.
I would probably fuck it up because Shinji was actually quite the guy all things considered.

>>145939568
Also, I would experiment with Kaoru.
It's not gay with a borrowed dick, right?

I'd go for Asuka and hopefully together we could prevent Instrumentality.
I'd probably fail.

>>145939333
I'd just tell him what SEELE and NERV are planning so he doesn't kidnap Fuyutsuki.

>>145937374
more like would you rape a clone of your mom who doesn't look anything like her and doesn't have her memories/completely different personality
I would

>>145936928
Go back home.
Browse 4chan indefinetely.

prevent 9/11

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I would try to make evangelion interesting

>Be tough guy who gets all da bitches
>OP's scenario happens
>"Lol, it's okay, I can fix all of that pussy Shinji's mistakes with one hand tied behind my back."
>Big ass copter comes crashing down.
>Holyfuckingshit, that was kinda scary! I'm okay, though. I'm a badass. Unlike Shinji...
>Meet Misato
>"Ay yo, wut up, big sexy! You taking me to Nerv or what?"
>Get lost in Nerv.
>Run into Ritsuko
>"Ayyy, is that the dress code around here or does my dad really like swimsuits. LOL, I'm just playin'."
>Finally see the Eva
>It's somehow bigger than I thought...
>Gendo appears
>"Get in, Shinji."
>"...Oh, uh... Yeah, sure."
>Get in robot.
>"It's okay. I'm a badass. Probably should have resisted a little just to see Rei... Oh well."
>Preparations are made. Heart is beating faster as we get closer to launching.
>"Ready, Shinji."
>...Oh yeah. Ready, Freddy!"
>"LAUNCHING!!"
>"Uhhh, wait! I need to use the restROOOOOOOOOOOOOM"
>Launching
>Feels like my eyes are gonna fall out. How the fuck do they deal with this?
>Finally reach the surface. Suffer a bit of whiplash from the sudden halt.
>The angel is starring right at me.
>Pits are getting real fucking sweaty.
>"Alright Shinji, start with moving forward. All you have to do is think it."
>Alright. Just think it. Walk.
>Eva does nothing.
>Walk.
>Still nothing.
>"Oh come on, dammit! WALK!"
>Eva starts running like a madman right towards the enemy.
>"OH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT"
>Slam right into it.
>It grabs the Eva's arm and quickly breaks it.
>Intense pain coming from my left arm.
>"JesuschristthishurtsImgonnafuckingdie!!"
>"Calm down, Shinji! Your arm isn't really broken!"
>"FUCK, IT HURTS!"
>Angel grabs the Eva's head.
>Starts slamming this glowing rod right into my right eye.
>I realize this is going exactly how it did in the show.
>"SOMEONEGETMETHEFUCKOUTTAHEREIMGONNADIE!!"
>The rod pierces right through the Eva's head.
>Pass out
>..... I never want to do that again.

>>145943390
reddito the post

>>145939568
Yeah, all things considered, he did pretty well for being so psychologically damaged.

>>145936928
I'd jump into the battle so that the Angels would kill me.

>>145937975
Slap yourself into a grave as shitty and uninspired as this fanwank thread full of liars and faggots.

>>145936928
Rei's hips are amazing!

>>145936928
I'll die because I won't be able to synchronise with eva since I'm not an emotional wreck.

>>145936928
I'd make lots of jokes, some of them would be clearly immature or not funny at all.
I'd accept Misato's "affection".
I'd try to seduce Rei and Asuka and fail.

>>145943841
>as shitty and uninspired as this fanwank thread full of liars and faggots
that's what you are

>>145938397
Usuka a shit

>>145940404
Seconded; I would also try to teach Rei about being human (and if possible, draft Asuka into it once she understood that Rei was not a "threat").

I would be sorely tempted to mock the plan against the 8th, though. Seriously, guys. Angels have proven themselves to have the ability to detect Evas through a mile of earth and steel, or across an ocean, and you want to put one a few feet away from an Angel egg in the middle of a volcano where it only has to hatch, swim up a bit, and cut the lines?

Idiots. Build a robot inside the Type-D equipment (heck, use JA's chassis if need be) and send it down instead.

>>145936928
Your scenario is dumb, so in my scenario I remember the plotline of NGE. I don't talk very much, sort of like Rei. Actually comfort people instead of ignoring them.

>>145936928
Your scenario is dumb, so in my scenario I am just a billionaire polygamist with all three girls.

>>145946010
>no punctuation or capitals
Fuck off back to gaia.

>>145937374
If she's hot, why not?

>>145936928
i would not fuck up.

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I'd be too scared to get in the robot and parading injured Rei in front of me would not work. So basically Gendo would have to come up with something else.

>>145936928
I'd probably try to recreate this in the first angel fight https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJPZYTJ8uTk

>>145947752
an apostrophe is punctuation
>fuck off back to gaia
that's what you should do

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>>145936969
You're telling me your personality wouldn't change while piloting the giant robot and having a huge paycheck every week for doing so?

The only thing that would change if any of us replaced Shinji is we'd date one of the girls from the schools, Asuka would get mad, and eventually one of us would end up killing the other by the end of the series.

Actually, it would ended up like the show itself but for the process of getting there would be different.

>>145952190
yep.

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>>145936928
So, is this female Shinji?

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>>145953649
NO, shes Ranka Lee's clone

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>>145936928
Fuck Kaworu and give birth to his angel spawn, humanity be damned.

>>145936928
I wouldn't be a fucking pussy bitch.
I would fuck the obvious best girl.
I would not get my ass beat by literally everything holy shit.
I wouldn't let my dad treat me like a piece of shit.
I'd probably notice the obvious signs that the eva is my mom.
I would be freaked the hell out by rei three.

>>145954236
Watch out people
We got a badass on our hands

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Marry Asuka

Take a shit on Rei since she's a toilet who eats herself

>>145954236
I hate ambiguous girl comments.

>>145941017
>who doesn't look anything like her

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>>145957906

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>>145949683
>posting toilets

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Torture Rei with Asuka in all sorts of creative, fun ways. The possibilities would be endless.

>>145936928
>I wouldn't puss out
>I'd either go after Asuka or Misato as their easy to fuck
>Try to protect Rei and get on her good side since she reminds me of my mom
>not be a pussy

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>>145937713
i agree, who cares if Asuka is a bitch? I'd fuck them both.

I'd probably be similar to Shinji in the "go with the flow, but I really don't want to" attitude. But I'd try to be more confident when confronted with things. And go into battle with infinitely more rage than Shinji every time. Which would probably cause EVA to go berserk every time I got into it.

>>145961115
kill yourself frogposter