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Would you watch a western (not American) Monogatari with the

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Would you watch a western (not American) Monogatari with the occult stuff being taken mostly from Catholicism with some other western-based creatures thrown in? The cute girls and animation stay
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If it had eternal lolis.
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Fuck no.

The wordplay wouldn't work at all because English isn't structured like how Japanese is (where a character could mean multiple things deepening on the context, twisted into a different meaning for the sake of a joke)

Not to mention it wouldn't be by SHAFT, so it'd be shit. There are a small number of studios that could pull it off (say, Ankama maybe?)
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>>133678429
>no Shaft visuals
>no god tier OST
>no Ueda artstyle and ED
>no Crab
I'd watch it, but no way it'd be better than Bake
>>
>a pedophile mc
>lolis
>in western media
ha
>>
>>133678553
I figured you could make up for this with all the different languages and dialects, which is why I didn't say it'd be in English

I don't think I'd see any jokes being made out of it though. There are very likely a hundred thousand jokes that flew over my head while watching the series with subtitles, I'd compare it to Japanese king of the hill.
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>>133678631
>no Crab
>bad
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>>133678699
>easily best girl in the series
>not bad
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>Pretentious fanservice show made in the USA
Well, it would have the advantage of killing off all those moral guardians because they'd get synchronised heart attacks
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>>133678765
>monogatari
>pretentious
do you have brain damage or do you can anything that doesn't look generic "pretentious"
>>
>>133678429
Yes, why not? I think Vertigo can do something like that.

>inb4 /co/
>>
>>133678660
Would you watch a BBC Monogatari?
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>>133678863
>>
>being taken mostly from Catholicism

So Snail is now a boy?
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>>133678429
Only if it was animated by Shaft and we got cute loli feet service.
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>>133678429
Sure, if it were equally amusing. I don't care where my cartoons are made.
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>>133678935
Nope, cute girls stay, very against the Vatican, and a lot of Latin
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>>133678429
Sorry, i can't even imagine this. It's beyond my suspension of disbelief.
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>>133678429
>Western Chuunis
Fuck no.
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>>133679620
you don't know what that word means anon
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>>133678553
>The wordplay wouldn't work at all because English isn't structured like how Japanese is

The only way I see this working is if you used all languages. Latin, German, French, all similar but different, especially with the characters. A native English speaker would have a tough time pronouncing French words, as just about any non-native English speaker would pronouncing English words.

Unless done well this would come off as completely forced, so the trick is how to slip all this in without forcing it. Even if you wouldn't have a good Monogatari clone you'd still have some good jokes if you could figure this out
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>>133678727
>implying you can pick a bet girl easily
>implying it would be crab

Not that I hate crab but that's just silly.
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>>133678671
>Japanese King of the Hill

Can I find it subbed somewhere
I need to watch this
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>>133680076
They have a dubbed episode on Nico

When you listen to it you can really hear how much was lost in translating it, these are just jokes that aren't well understood in Japan, just like how the jokes in Monogatari aren't well understood here either, and a whole lot of it gets lost in translation. Neither show can really be dubbed well without destroying the jokes entirely or keeping the jokes but alienating the audience

http://nicoviewer.net/sm7385863
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>OP said not American shit
>People posting about they don't want American English shit

Retards
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>>133679987
English can have some very good wordplay, it just doesn't rest in using homonyms (for lack of a better term) like Japanese does. English seems to have a lot more adjectival and adverb words that you can use to make a phrase that seems ordinary combined with a following phrase that completely twists it in a new direction, but seems incredibly clever.
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>>133680385
I'm interested, could you give an example?
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>>133680407
I like Douglas Adams for this. Something like
>The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't
or
>Almost but not quite entirely unlike tea
But I'm not >>133680385 and don't speak moon so I don't know if Japanese has stuff like that.
>>
>>133680562
Adams certainly was a witty wordsmith. A shame life interests got in the way of him writing more.
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>>133680562
>>The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't
Fucking Hitchhikers, that is something not even some native English speakers would get, let alone foreigners, perfect for getting lost in translation. It'd take some real thought to make a western Monogatari with the western-variant of its humor. Sounds like a fun side project, honestly.
>>
>>133680562
>The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't
I don't get it, are the ships falling?
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>>133680927
No. They are floating. And They look like they are physically impossible as they are huge things that just hang there without support.

So the effect is like looking at a floating brick.
Something bricks don't do.
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>>133680927
The ships look like bricks, in the sense that they look heavy. If you put a brick in the sky, it'd fall, but these ships don't

Take it like this:
>The ships float in the water in much the same way bricks don't
the ships look like they should sink, and are much heavier than bricks, but don't
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>>133681004
>>133681019
>>133680927

>>133680880
like pottery
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>>133681043
Well great. Now I don't know if you just misspelled it or it's some pun I don't get.
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>>133680407
I heard the perfect example last night but cannot for the life of me remember it.

English definitely has less opportunities for "pure" word play like kanji does. But I think where English excels (other western languages might as well) is in it's ability to match descriptors with other adjectives to create what seems to be an ordinary sentence, but is very emotionally powerful.

Take the opening line to Elliott Smith's Can't Make A Sound:
>I have become a silent movie
>the hero killed the clown, can't make a sound
>can't make a sound
If you take it at face value, it's simple; he's just telling you he killed a clown. But the emotional power comes from multiple things. The fact he describes this as a silent movie; black and white, grainy, slow-moving. What do you have in silent movies? Two major archetypes; the moral compass (hero) and innocent source of fun (clown). By laying down a line as unusual as "I have become a silent movie." he invokes this imagery, where he can place something as morbid as this stereotypical source of humor being killed by something that is supposed to be bastion of good. And since as he declared, this is a silent movie, the dying clown can't let his screams be heard. The rest of the song uses that "can't make a sound" metaphor for going through life but can't open up about stress, but it's the very vivid picture of the opening line that sets it's impact.

I really wish I could remember some good, actual word-play examples though.

>>133680880
>It'd take some real thought to make a western Monogatari with the western-variant of its humor. Sounds like a fun side project, honestly.
I think that'd be very fun to try writing.
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I knew a priest that took part in an exorcism (not of a person, but of descarated church that was used for black masses), and from what he told me I don't think there would be much space for cute girls or funny hijinks
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>>133681097

Cause your head is spinning just like a pottery wheel

no it was just a red herring I think
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>>133681129
Not with that attitude.
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>>133681167
Speaking of attitude, sanctioned exorcists are usually pretty grim fellows and quite prone to paranoia
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>>133681129
The Oshino character wouldn't be a priest though

I don't know another way to put it. Maybe imagine Castlevania? I honestly don't know
>>133681130
>red herring
that's another good one
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>>133678429
Western chunni doesn't come across well; a good example is that chu2 dub. Rika went from moe in japanese to awkward like some fat wiccan goth chick in english (although in a strange sense, that might be a better depiction of the plot since it IS supposed to be awkward not cute at that age)
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>>133681206
Nobody is talking about remaking Constantine with cute girls.

Or wait are we?
>>
>>133681129
Honestly I'm not sure how you'd stop that from becoming another generic, corny "le vampire teenager with other generic Western occult monsters" show. Yeah Koyomi is a vampire, but when transferred to a Western medium it becomes incredibly tripe.

It'd probably be about something vastly different but could still incorporate a harem and insane word play. Imagine a slice of life harem that was incredibly deep and full of double meanings.

>>133681206
Well when you see the portal to hell opening to you on a daily basis and believe you know what can lurk in the dark, I wouldn't blame them.
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>>133681235
I dunno, it would be the closest thing to the premise of Bakemonogatari, but the supernatural and cute don't mix well in Catholicism
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>>133681275
Catholicism is just the main religion

A lot of it would draw from other mythologies from the various regions of Europe. Vampires could work better here than in Monogatari, for example.
They'd still be cute vampires though, that's a big concern.
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>>133681275
They could easily mix. You don't have to carry the tone, just the subject matter.
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>>133681235
>Nobody is talking about remaking Constantine with cute girls.
That is 100% correct and will stay correct
>>133681252
>Imagine a slice of life harem that was incredibly deep and full of double meanings.
I think you're onto something
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One thing that comes to mind would be the scene where Koyomi and Senjougahara are looking atthe characters on Hachikuji's backpack that spell her name, maybe you could do something similar and have her name in Russian?

Just some random shit off the top of my head,
>"Эмма? Why did she put the E backwards?"
or
>"Татьяна? tat-bur-ha?"

Pretty fucking terrible but this is the drawing board before the drawing board right here
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>>133680880
I'd actually love to see high-quality western rewrites of LNs in general, Japan can create some great settings and characters that fall flat because the authors can't write for shit.
>>
It seems like a lot of 4th grade shit would come into play, like words that sound the same but are spelled differently, although English doesn't have any words that are contextual
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