Exorcism

>>17218934
Fact: This never happened.

>>17218938
but you're wrong. My family is very religious.

make sure you drop acid before he comes OP, that would surely be interesting.

>>17218957
>not datura

OP's has no working knowledge of exorcisms, is making shit up

>>17218967
Yeah I don't have any knowledge but I'm not making this up.

Thats why I made this thread, so you knowledgeable people would tell me about it.

>>17218981
>knowledgeable people
>on /x/
nah man

I'll plant a camera and deliver next month of my exorcism but tell me atleast the least you can tell.

You should pretend to be a demon that can only tell jokes

>>17218934
The exorcism will be a lot of smoke and mirrors if you are not truly possessed. Don't feed into the shit they will surround you with. You might feel like you are being exorcised possibly due to the situation they will place around you. Shit is so fake

80 2spooky

>>17219093
This. Don't feed into it.

Just have this fucking look on your face the entire time.

Eventually, the bastard will get violent with you and you can NOT get violent back.

if this is actually true please actually video it

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>>17219205
forgot image

>>17218934
Why does your family know about your occult interests? That's the real question here.

Please pretend to be super possesed. Shit will be so funny kek. Choose a dank demon that you impersonate tho, dont go with mainstream ones like baal

>>17219234
Because I tell them stuff? Im not super secretive about that.
>>17219207
I will.
>>17219253
First I'll try to see if it does anything, if not, I will pretend for the fun.

>>17218934

Pretty sure they mean to "exercise" you fat fuck.

>>17219273
10/10 but no

>>17218960
Sure, take something that you can easily be brainwashed under. That'd be great. Any crystal recipes for Opie, here?

You're up against someone who's as retarded and superstitious as you, except they actually have tied that superstition to their identity and use it to validate their existence and profession.

Just play along and say amen at the end. Keep the witch stuff in private like a normal 50 year-old cat lady.

>>17219297
yeah brainwashing, don't worry about dying from asphyxiation

>>17219327
*tips fedora*

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>>17219342
>common sense is fedora tipping
k lol

When the priest start with his shit, go doggy show him ur ass and ask "spank me daddy ive been a bad demon"

>>17219378
bitching about lel muh atheism > u tards on an occult site is fedora tipping

>>17219382
Who said I was an atheist?
Catholics are fucking retarded.

>>17219270
Obviously an exorcism isn't going to do anything if you aren't actually possessed you dipshit

>>17219270
Dont wait for it to work because it moght work even though you arent possesed. The intensity of the situation, autosuggestion and a sort of trance state he will induce might make all weird shit happen to you. Its sort of like hypnosis

>>17218934
How old are you? If under 16 make sure to padlock asshole

lol why would you agree to something like this if you don't think you're possessed?

my guess: You need attention

that's why you delve into the occult is to piss off your religious family, and it's got to the point now where you're causing them grief and now on some special day you get to be the center of attention.

Thanks millennials, thanks a lot

>>17218941
I believe you OP, shit happened to my mom when she was younger

>>17218934
Alright, I'll indulge this. It's not like I have anything better to do right now anyway.

Are you possessed OP?

bath salts

Watch The Exorcism, the original.. not that new shit, watch it a couple times until you have some favorite lines memorized.. Then use that to fuck with them. That's just what i'd do. Fuck, even queue the music when the priest gets there.

>>17220073

The Exorcist* my b

>>17219381
Omg this legions of times this asmodeus would be perfect

>>17218934
OP is a liar, Catholic priests can no longer perform exorcisms.

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>>17218934
>Catholic priest from some third world shit country vs. a basement dweller who got caught trying to summon his wiafu
>It's like a fight to see which type of Autism will defeat the other

Roleplaying is for Reddit, wrong place my friend.

They will say someshit that will provoke an answer. You should answer rationally. Fuck the kek's.
Just don't hit him back and don't do any sudden movements.
Keep calm,you're not possessed you just a faggot who tried to summon Boku No Pico.

catholic priests have an interest in the occult too

Prove it OP. What's the priests name?

What were your symptoms?

Where do you live?

What sort of occult practices?

Yeah, I mean, they authorise exorcisms all the time for random parents whose kids look into weird shit.

Retards.

>>17220145
They need to be allowed by the pope

>>17219005
Please tell me when you will post. This board is kinda dead so I barely visit but I would like to see this.

>>17218941
it doesn't matter how religious your family is. exorcisms aren't done by the catholic church for reasons like that. this is totally made up OR your family is lying about who's going to be performing it OR your family is being lied to about who's going to be performing it. i wouldn't participate if i were you.

but looks like you're fishing for information so you can convincingly lie about this so i'm not gonna help you out beyond what i already said.

Catholic here, OP is either lying or his family is lying to him/being lied to.

The fact of the matter is that the Church is very keen on getting these things right, mostly because exorcisms for minor things that can easily be disproven as demonic possession only hurt the reputation of actual exorcism as a necessary ritual to dispel demonic possession.

In many cases you'd find Priests more keen on sending you to a psychologist to make sure you don't just have Schizophrenia than an exorcist.

The fact they have to call in one from another country is also odd, as their reasonably should be one in your own country if it has anything even close to a significant Catholic Presence.

>>17221939
>>17223034
This.

To all you western folks who dont believe in exorxism, that thing exist and its very much present to this day in christian countriey in Europe too. And im not talking some shitholes. It exist in modern countries like france and germany.

Not all priests can perform exorcism. They have to go through "special training", which is held only in Vatican if Im correct. Im not exactly sure about the last part, but the rest I can confirm

Sauce: I know a priest who does exorcisem. I speaked with him and he said he did it just a couple of times so far, but yet again he isnt that old

Most recently he should perform it on a girl (14y old) but couldnt since she got locked up in the mental institution and since hes a priest he got no acces to her.

Long story short.
>That girl went to religious classes and heard stuff about exorcism.
>this is interesting.jpg
>decides to go to a open seminar
>after that shit gets weird
>cant fall asleep for long hours even if tired
>when she finnaly does, she looses her conciousness and gets a seziure
>stops breathing, foam out of mouth
>went to hospital, docs cant find out whats wrong
>still seziures
>her mom does reaserch and finds out about her interest in exorcism
>seziures continiue
>contacs the priest, he says she might got possesed on the seminar
>what.jpg
>cant really tell since the priest cant get to the girl
>girl is locked up in the mental institution, with drugs so good she probably doesnt even know she lives
>at least she has less seziures.


Sauce: i know that girl, her family and the priest.

I was all wtf.wmv, since i thought that was all some medival bs. But apparently there is still quite a lot of priests who perform the ritual.

>>17223034
And also this. There was also a guy who started claiming he can see Virgin Mary or Jesus or whatever. They called the priest and he just sent him to the mental institution.

Believe it or not but the Church doesnt like to fuck around with some shizos and madmen.

Stop making shit up, OP