Is there any way to recapture a feeling of profundity of life?
I remember certain moments in my childhood that I would describe as life-changing. I haven't had anything approaching a "life-changing" or profound moment in many years. The only exception is maybe the handful of times where in the morning when crossing the sleep->awake threshold I've heard heart-breakingly beautiful music in my semi-dream state. But it's just a memory. I don't really understand what is meant by the word 'beauty'. I've never looked at a painting or a sunset and felt a twinge of anything.
The answer seems simple op. You have fallen into rut and monotomy. These "life changing" and "serene" moments dont occur inside our comfort zones, but rather far outside them. When is the last time you were truly challenged? Physically and mentally?
came here to post this
dubs dont like
but in all seriousness, i felt dead inside for a long time until i went on an acid trip where i came down and then did twice as much to come back up again. i ended up tripping for about 24 hours save for one or two in the middle where the come down was over. but anyway, on the second trip up i had many revelations about life death and feeling dead while being alive, which is about the worse state of existence that one can possibly attain. a living death, where people cant live because they cant see any beauty or goodness in the world. I realized that feeling that way is what drove my father to suicide and it was pushing me that way too.
it was a very emotional and mindblowing ordeal, but it ultimately made me more lucid than ever, ive been able to figure out what profession i want to follow and in general just made things easier to deal with.
obviously every body is gonna get something different out of it, but its worth trying if you hit a soul crushing low you cant worm your way out of.
OP here. That sounds about right.
Part of me wants to take lsd but I can't even handle my weed and I'm prone to scary eyes wide shut/controlling powers that be-type thoughts if I let myself get too "in my head". I would like to try microdosing if I had a source
What you are in search of is what I call a "defining moment" those crossroads that shape life. Unfortunately you haven't had any since you entered the coma. We are trying to wake you up using a new technique, we love you.
Weed and LSD are two totally different things.
I've had so many bad times smoking weed, the high can seem chaotic and dirty. LSD has a very clean or smooth feel. Yeah, LSD is way more intense in some ways but imo a little more accessible and bearable.
If you do it, do it somewhere you feel comfortable with people who have done it and you trust, and don't go all out your first time.