I want change the way of living my life, because i see no changes for about 4 years, it looks like seriously fucked up, but i believe in hapiness too, there is a deep deep sense in me, one day i will beat every struggle i ve met and carried
I want to start something to be strong and happier, it can be some kind of yoga, religious works (praying everyday) maybe something i still dont know
But there is something that i am sure about myself, my mind is weak as fuck and i can not cry but i am unhappy as fuck, my face look like i ve cancer
So i have to heal myself somehow,
I'm in the same boat as you, anon. I've been battling depression, being poor, and having failed relationships for almost 10 years now. The one key that I've found that works more than anything is to build habits and form repetition.
Being 'motivated' or having a sudden burst of inspiration is nice, but it's also fleeting. Those feelings WILL fall away and you WILL come back to square one as you progress forward. You need to build habitual habits that move you towards whatever goal you've set for yourself.
If you're wanting to become stronger physically, start out by doing 5 minutes of exercise per day. Build this 5 minutes until it becomes a habit for you--something that you NEED to perform otherwise you become uncomfortable. Once that habit is established, add more time to it. Try to go for 20 minutes until that becomes a habit.
This can be applied to any endeavor you want to accomplish and doesn't rely on you to feel inspired, motivated, or even in a positive mindset to perform. Remember that progress is something that should exist rather you feel sad, happy, depressed, and so on.