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You are currently reading a thread in /wsr/ - Worksafe Requests

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I need time puns guys. My teacher's clock broke 2 days ago and she told our class to write a memorial for it. The clock fell off a cabinet, so my first thought was smth like "Oh, how time flies..."
But I want to fill the paper with these jokes, any ideas?
>>
Since puns are just figures of speech used in a different context than they were intended to be used in, what you want to use are idioms.

Examples:
http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/time
http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/clock

"Don't worry, time fixes everything."
"I would buy a new clock, but I literally can't find the time!"

Have fun with this
>>
>>49582
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
>>
The clock struck one last time as it struck the floor.

I'd like to say it had a swift death, gone in just a few seconds. But suddenly there was just no way to tell how long it took. Time seemed to grind to a hold as the pieces of the clock ground along the floor like clockwork.

In this horrible moment it seemed like time would now freeze, but thankfully it didn't fall into water and the windows were closed anyway.

We are all guilty. These loyal hands tirelessly told us the time, but when push came to shove (we don't want to name any names) there were no hands to catch them (again, we're not pointing fingers - but the shatterd hands of our beloved clock point accusatorily at us all). Honestly, someone could have at least dialled for help as the noble dial became dilated from the impact.

The winds of time are cruel and unforgiving. This time they struck a young innocent clock, but really it could have been any of us, falling off of that cabinet to our death.

At times we may feel nostalgic, and think of better times, but I vote to keep our eyes on the future. Time must go on, and so a replacement is needed. What better role model, than ancient times! I propose buying an hourglass - then at least we'd have a nifty miniature beach resort to take some time off, the next time our time takes off, off of that cabinet.
>>
>>49604
You just wanted to say that, didn't you?
>Give a man an apple, he'll keep the doctor away for a day. Teach a man to apple and he'll become a doctor for the rest of his life
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