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I want to buy a pokemon valentine
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You are currently reading a thread in /vp/ - Pokemon

Thread replies: 62
Thread images: 9
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I'm drunk out of my fucking mind /vp/

Would you dress up in various pokemon onesies and let me snuggle up with you in bed for cash? And do other things besides...
I'm pretty okay looking but I'm just shit when it comes to sex. I'm just shit. I'd never be able to bag myself a date because I'm a fucking beta and

I've made it pretty big on the stock markets, and coupled with my career choice this has landed me fuck tonne of money and a fucking good income. I live in britain, just say the word and I'll pay for you to come over here and live with me forever (until you get bored or I somehow lose my ability to maths)

I dunno, worth a shot. I want someone who can actually get into it, this isn't a stupid joke. Name your price
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>>22797477
forgot my trip
>>
That actually sounds fun as fuck. Where you at?
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>>22797488
south London, but I talk with a posh boy's accent

I'm not fat either, just drunk
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Wh-where abouts do you live, OP? If you're in the south then i'm sold.
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>>22797498
Welp, can't help you there, OP. ;_;
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>>22797504
Nevermind, got the answer >>22797498
What are the requirements? I'm only an hours trainride away
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>>22797504
As in south North america? I'm in south England... as in Queen England not that shitty new england or whetever it is

Doesn't matter where you live as long as you have a valid passport and no criminal record, I can spare the cash to get you here
>>
Well what gender do they gotta be

Which way do you swing OP
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I dont know how much I'm worth, all I'm saying is that im an 18 year old student and a lot of my money has been going towards heavy nights

I'd love to see where we could go with this, I'm extremely open when it comes to sex, I could do poke-petplay, all sorts of kinky stuff but im happy with vanilla stuff too

how much would a girl like me be worth to you OP?
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>>22797477
>I'm a fucking beta and
...And what? I'm a fucking beta and here's your own space shuttle? I'm a fucking beta and here's a million dollars?
>>
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>>22797515
Sorry my mind's just in a muddle, I shouldn't have left that out

I'm a bis...exu..al m,,al,e, I couldn't care less as long as you have fee,t to lic,k, a mouth to drink booze and a onesie to put on

Fucking filters...

>>22797512
>requirements

must:enjoy playing videogames
enjoy snuggles
have feet without calluses and not mind them being played with

must be willing to love me
>>
>>22797521
I dunno, I'm kind of pissed off that you're stressing about the money even though I offered

I'm an idiot I guess, I did offer

£100 a day and you get to stay in my apartment and drink my booze and use all of my resources. but if you're just going to fuck off the whole time then I cba
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>>22797556
that sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me, would you mind if i used that money to buy weed so we could smoke together? do you do stuff like that?

Even if you dont drinking and snoozing around sounds great!
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>>22797539
>Bisexual is apparently word filtered
What the fuck?
>>
>>22797521
>>22797589

ITT: Pokemon prostitution.
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>>22797613
yup thats what is being discussed, well noticed!
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>>22797589
Yeah sure, I'll go for that. I stayed away from it during uni but fuck it now, I'm lonely in an apartment... time to smoke

>>22797613
>prostitution
sort of bending it really

I just want a buddy to snuggle with and I dunno how to make that work without offering to pay travel and give them cash for their time

It's not that nobody would want me, it's just that there's always someone better looking or more 'default'... but I come with a wad of notes, an apartment and I fucking love pokemon
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>>22797556
>£100 a day
I realize nobody here will really be versed in prostitution and the deal does come with unspecified amenities but in real life, even the shittiest escort cost a FUCKTON more than this for just a single night.
>>
What in the fuck is going on ITT
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>>22797477
Dude what?
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>>22797539
>feet
disgusting
>>
Britain only? What if I live on the other side of the world? Do you like brown boys?
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>>22797652
I know nothing about prostitution

But I know £100 a day is the equiv to what manager in a supermarket gets, and it's more akin to sharing funds with a spouse than anything else.

Just without the messy divorce. They up and leave, and I'm sad again. But they have money, and I've had a great time
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>>22797477
If you're serious OP, have you spoken to a psych? You're clearly depressed and it's being exacerbated by the coming holiday.

If you really have so much dosh you don't know what to do with, why not give to a meaningful charity? Or give away some real world pokeswag on /vp/ at Christmas time?

Nothing good is going to come of trying to buy long-term companionship. And realizing this is only going to further drive your self-esteem into the ground.
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>>22797691

He wants a cute, curvy woman, not some hairy brown dude with a schlong.
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>>22797691
>brown boys
how brown?

And I'm pushing six figures, a flight to get a rare someone who doesn't mind weird pokemon shit and snuggles is nothing
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>>22797713
d-do you like guys with a bit of junk in the trunk?
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>>22797713
Does this suffice?

If you are really serious about this stuff then I'm very up to it. Send me a mail to [email protected]

>>22797709
I have plenty of thigh and ass thank you very much.
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>>22797514
LONDON
O
N
D
O
N
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>>22797734
m-moar?
>>
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A sincere 'thank you' to the OP, for reminding me that money doesn't always buy you happiness. I am now going to ask a girl I've been eyeing out.
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>>22797721
I like people who fill the requirements in >>22797539

But yeah, that's an added bonus. Mine's small though, in case that's a problem

>>22797707
Fuck you, trying to guilt trip me

Why don't you donate to charity instead of posting on this board with your internet? Instead of buying that 3ds? Instead of buying all that entertainment shit you don't need?

hyopcritic cunt. The one thing I've done right is get a decent job and I want to buy some happiness with my money. Instead, you want me to give my money away for free. Get lost
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>>22797764
nigga he was trying to tell you that you're seriously depressed and you should do something about it. Yes, I know you know you're seriously depressed, but you're ultimately making it worse by doing this. Ignore the thing about the money, that's not important, this anon was just trying to help.
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>>22797539

Feet to lick and Britain? Are you Bui?

You should put an e-mail address up for interested parties.
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>>22797764
I'm not trying to guilt trip you. I'm pretty much the only person whose shown an interest in your well-being without trying to siphon money from your pockets or laugh at your thread.

But whatever, it's not like I can force you to do anything. I really hope everything works out for you OP and you find a way to find happiness.

For the record I have done volunteer work, so no, I'm not talking out of my ass. But that's beside the point. Just remember that love doesn't have a price tag, OP.
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>>22797851
It's very likely.
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>>22797837
>>22797851
>>22797924

The post count has been at 15 for a while now, so I'm not sure if you're samefagging or what

I've done volunteer work too. That's not what I was talking about - have you sacrificed things you seriously enjoy for charity? And as somebody who switched from psych to maths at uni - yes, love has a price tag. Whether it's looks, common interest, desperation or money - love most certainly has a price tag.

I'm still open to offers anyway. I dunno if any were serious or if you were all taking the piss now
>>
Tie me up and have your way with my feet, OP.
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>>22797946
I'm really serious. Heck, I even posted that picture of myself >>22797734 if anything I'm the one who's wondering if you are truly serious about this. It's a really far-fetched situation. If it's real then cool, let's figure something out and if it's not then that's cool too because this situation is pretty unbelievable in first place.

You did not say if you were cool with my brown-tone or anything at all really...
>>
Shit if I was gay and autistic and not in a relationship with a 10/10 girl I'd be all for it. Hope you find your valentine OP. But quick tip, quit being such a dick in your posts. You've had both a girl and a hajeed answer your offer and youre ignoring them.
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Back. I had to go sleep shit off, I got work tomorrow.

>>22797970
I'll sned you an email if you're serious. Cheers, it looks lovely~

>>22797961
Email address thanks
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>>22799658

go back to bed bui
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>>22797734
I literally just came to this and am about to start round two.
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fuggg this thread, mfw lel

>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
>Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
>>
>>22800088
your post number says BBOOOBZZ, funny
>yfw you are wrong
>>
>>22800139
there is no reason to believe i am wrong
>>
>>22800171
there is no reason to believe you are right
internet is strange place, and 4chan especially
>>
>>22800201
bullshit unless proven legit

thats how internet works
>>
>>22797477
PLS BE IN
L O N D O N
O
N
D
O
N
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>>22800223
So you're wrong until proven right.
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>>22800336
muh dick
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>>22800421
what was it?
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>>22800247
Again, I'm in London BR6
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>>22800402
but if you are right then you are wrong
>>
>>22800672
Huge gay orgy webm.
>>
>>22797477
If you go to game and get the darkrai code and send it to me and it works I will know you are serious and I hands down no joke will agree to this deal of 100 a day I can arrange for myself to get there.
>>
amazing thred

op you can try mail order waifuing

http://www.asiandating.com/
there are dozens of sites like this

i'm sure you can get some pokewaif if you investigate

good luck
>>
>Wake up
>Still not a single mail from OP
Bummer.
>>
>>22797477
>tfw live in Bristol
>so close but yet so far
>>
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>tfw no london sugardaddy
I'm studying abroad this upcoming fall semester too damn.
>>
>>22802574
told you shit wasnt legit
Thread replies: 62
Thread images: 9
Thread DB ID: 38838



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