I'm drunk out of my fucking mind /vp/
Would you dress up in various pokemon onesies and let me snuggle up with you in bed for cash? And do other things besides...
I'm pretty okay looking but I'm just shit when it comes to sex. I'm just shit. I'd never be able to bag myself a date because I'm a fucking beta and
I've made it pretty big on the stock markets, and coupled with my career choice this has landed me fuck tonne of money and a fucking good income. I live in britain, just say the word and I'll pay for you to come over here and live with me forever (until you get bored or I somehow lose my ability to maths)
I dunno, worth a shot. I want someone who can actually get into it, this isn't a stupid joke. Name your price
Wh-where abouts do you live, OP? If you're in the south then i'm sold.
As in south North america? I'm in south England... as in Queen England not that shitty new england or whetever it is
Doesn't matter where you live as long as you have a valid passport and no criminal record, I can spare the cash to get you here
I dont know how much I'm worth, all I'm saying is that im an 18 year old student and a lot of my money has been going towards heavy nights
I'd love to see where we could go with this, I'm extremely open when it comes to sex, I could do poke-petplay, all sorts of kinky stuff but im happy with vanilla stuff too
how much would a girl like me be worth to you OP?
Sorry my mind's just in a muddle, I shouldn't have left that out
I'm a bis...exu..al m,,al,e, I couldn't care less as long as you have fee,t to lic,k, a mouth to drink booze and a onesie to put on
must:enjoy playing videogames
have feet without calluses and not mind them being played with
must be willing to love me
I dunno, I'm kind of pissed off that you're stressing about the money even though I offered
I'm an idiot I guess, I did offer
£100 a day and you get to stay in my apartment and drink my booze and use all of my resources. but if you're just going to fuck off the whole time then I cba
that sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me, would you mind if i used that money to buy weed so we could smoke together? do you do stuff like that?
Even if you dont drinking and snoozing around sounds great!
Yeah sure, I'll go for that. I stayed away from it during uni but fuck it now, I'm lonely in an apartment... time to smoke
sort of bending it really
I just want a buddy to snuggle with and I dunno how to make that work without offering to pay travel and give them cash for their time
It's not that nobody would want me, it's just that there's always someone better looking or more 'default'... but I come with a wad of notes, an apartment and I fucking love pokemon
>£100 a day
I realize nobody here will really be versed in prostitution and the deal does come with unspecified amenities but in real life, even the shittiest escort cost a FUCKTON more than this for just a single night.
I know nothing about prostitution
But I know £100 a day is the equiv to what manager in a supermarket gets, and it's more akin to sharing funds with a spouse than anything else.
Just without the messy divorce. They up and leave, and I'm sad again. But they have money, and I've had a great time
If you're serious OP, have you spoken to a psych? You're clearly depressed and it's being exacerbated by the coming holiday.
If you really have so much dosh you don't know what to do with, why not give to a meaningful charity? Or give away some real world pokeswag on /vp/ at Christmas time?
Nothing good is going to come of trying to buy long-term companionship. And realizing this is only going to further drive your self-esteem into the ground.
d-do you like
guys with a bit of junk in the trunk?
Does this suffice?
If you are really serious about this stuff then I'm very up to it. Send me a mail to firstname.lastname@example.org
I have plenty of thigh and ass thank you very much.
A sincere 'thank you' to the OP, for reminding me that money doesn't always buy you happiness. I am now going to ask a girl I've been eyeing out.
I like people who fill the requirements in >>22797539
But yeah, that's an added bonus. Mine's small though, in case that's a problem
Fuck you, trying to guilt trip me
Why don't you donate to charity instead of posting on this board with your internet? Instead of buying that 3ds? Instead of buying all that entertainment shit you don't need?
hyopcritic cunt. The one thing I've done right is get a decent job and I want to buy some happiness with my money. Instead, you want me to give my money away for free. Get lost
nigga he was trying to tell you that you're seriously depressed and you should do something about it. Yes, I know you know you're seriously depressed, but you're ultimately making it worse by doing this. Ignore the thing about the money, that's not important, this anon was just trying to help.
I'm not trying to guilt trip you. I'm pretty much the only person whose shown an interest in your well-being without trying to siphon money from your pockets or laugh at your thread.
But whatever, it's not like I can force you to do anything. I really hope everything works out for you OP and you find a way to find happiness.
For the record I have done volunteer work, so no, I'm not talking out of my ass. But that's beside the point. Just remember that love doesn't have a price tag, OP.
The post count has been at 15 for a while now, so I'm not sure if you're samefagging or what
I've done volunteer work too. That's not what I was talking about - have you sacrificed things you seriously enjoy for charity? And as somebody who switched from psych to maths at uni - yes, love has a price tag. Whether it's looks, common interest, desperation or money - love most certainly has a price tag.
I'm still open to offers anyway. I dunno if any were serious or if you were all taking the piss now
I'm really serious. Heck, I even posted that picture of myself >>22797734 if anything I'm the one who's wondering if you are truly serious about this. It's a really far-fetched situation. If it's real then cool, let's figure something out and if it's not then that's cool too because this situation is pretty unbelievable in first place.
You did not say if you were cool with my brown-tone or anything at all really...
Shit if I was gay and autistic and not in a relationship with a 10/10 girl I'd be all for it. Hope you find your valentine OP. But quick tip, quit being such a dick in your posts. You've had both a girl and a hajeed answer your offer and youre ignoring them.
fuggg this thread, mfw lel
>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
>Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
If you go to game and get the darkrai code and send it to me and it works I will know you are serious and I hands down no joke will agree to this deal of 100 a day I can arrange for myself to get there.
>tfw no london sugardaddy
I'm studying abroad this upcoming fall semester too damn.