/lozg/ - The Legend of Zelda General

I am going to marry Riju!

>>187197801
no you won't

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Okay so with regards Aurie Taamu we have his love of fairies, his age (35), his cooking skills (Tingle's Rosy Rupee Land), his comments on selling meals for big bucks (TRRL) and his way with the ladies but failure to finalise it

Anything else suggesting that he is Tingle

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>>187197928
You can't stop me!

Remove Gerudo. Hyrule for Hylians only.

>>187198237
I've now prevented it. I altered the universe so that she is a fictional character instead of a living being. As far as everyone will remember, it has always been this way. Such is the breadth of my prank against you.

>>187198282
Considering they segregate themselves by staying in the semi-inhospitable desert despite seeming to be 100% free to move into the lush fields of Hyrule or integrate into existing settlements among the Sheikah or Hylians

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>>187198456
But she is real to me.

>>187198537
They cannot be given opportunities. It's only a matter of time before they multiply and expand. Prevent bigger problems while they are small.

>>187198539
Not anymore.
For that outburst, every woman in the damn series will share her fate. Just because I can!

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>>187198794
Still real.

Does this game have different endings for recovering all the memories and stuff? Or does zelda always ask if you really remember her?

That final boss was fucking awful.

>>187199459
The ending is always the same, you just get a little extra clip where they mention that there is rebuilding work that has to be done.

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>>187198753
Well with the roads being far safer to travel you'll get more men going to Kara Kara and more Gerudo travelling Hyrule so more chances for relationships to form and kids to be born. Gerudo will likely experience a baby boom. They'll be calling it Gerudo City in a generation or 2

>>187199552

>trying to masturbate while peeping on riju

If Link was asleep for 100 years, shouldn't there be a Gerudo male either alive or recently dead? Where is he and why does nobody talk about him?

>>187199915
maybe he was killed in the calamity and a new king will be born in the DLC

>restoration shrine takes 100 years to be heal someday from wounds nearly fatal

Ignoring "destiny/muh prophecy" type stuff, this is absolutely retarded. It would have been better to train up another knight champion from birth in 2 decades. How old is link in the game anyway, 16? And he's the best swordsman in the world?

>>187199915
4 options
1. The Gerudo voe is described by Rhondson as being rare rather than once a century. As a result they appear at random intervals with no set schedule
2. The Gerudo Voe is a fairytale and Ganondorf was a result of Twinrova taking advantage of that fantasy with their dark magics
3. No voe can be born whilst Ganon is "alive"
4. He was born lived and died during the 100 years

>>187200161
>the entire DLC is gathering guests and presents for a Gerudo baby shower

>>187200225
It's about Hylia's chosen one. Without her blessing they might create a damn fine knight but he won't be able to wield the Master Sword and he won't have as much vitality and endurance. Such a Champion would fail just like the best warriors from the Gerudo, Zora, Rito and Goron weren't shit in comparison to Link

>>187200225
Only Link can wield the master sword and only the master sword can kill Ganon. Training other knights would just be a waste.
He's supposedly the best in the world, but idk how much of that is his own skill and how much is ~the soul of the hero~

>>187200332
5. He (or they) exist, and just live off the map somewhere where the missing NPCs wander off to.

>>187199915
Isn't he the crossdressing guy in the bazaar?

>>187199552
There won't be any Gerudo travelling if they are exiled or killed. There will be no boom.

Rebuild Arbiters Grounds, put it in the desert and have them battle Moldugas with no weapons.

>>187200831
He's a bit short to be a Gerudo... but they have a pink Gerudo so variations may happen.

>>187200775
I doubt he wouldn't even be mentioned as the Gerudo Voe will either be the King (Ocarina) or the Guardian of the Gerudo and the desert (FSA)

>>187200831
Wrong eye colour
Short
No abs
Can't enter Gerudo Town as a voe
Doesn't have the nose
Every Gerudo calls him a Hylian

>>187200831
.....

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How would Link react if he saw Zelda wearing this?

>>187199915
>yfw it's Master Kohga

>>187201134
Silent appraisal

>>187201134
Stone faced silence.

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>>187200953
Where will Hyrule gets it's fine jewellery from? Who do you think made the Hylians royalties crowns and such like? On top of that the Gerudo are likely the source of all the kind of things women want like scents as well as stylish and comfortable clothing

Also Zelda needs their support to rebuild her kingdom as they have military and economic clout and can put a good word in for her with the Goron which combined with Link's support should win her their support.

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>>187199548

And that something has happened with Vah Ruta, hence why they're heading to Zora's Domain.

>>187200470
I think it would be a grander ceremony than just a "baby shower"

>>187201603
I can see the Rito making nice clothing and perfume too. I'd buy some.

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I want to hold hands with Mipha

>>187201860
That's basically a hidden promo for DLC2. The Zora's domain was going on about the Champions Festival when Link was there, and then DLC2 ends up being about the champions. It begs the question about how much of this content was ready and was held back to be sold later.

>>187202000
Rito are traders, entertainers and messengers/carriers

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>>187202015

I want to see some (or just one, or anything) snapshots of Link's childhood with the Zora and Mipha. Did he grow up with them? Did he just visit? Did he travel? Was he trained from very early on to be the Hero? What about his father, whom Zelda mentions?

>>187202221
I liked how the Snowquill armor looked. I can see them making a big fluffy scarf or musical instruments

Can anyone dump the pics / screenshots of the gerudo class on the voe? I need it for reasons

>>187201603
>fine jewelery
well the gorons have more gems than they know what to do with, and perfume seems more like a rito thing
I will give them fashion though

>>187202683
Well they've got to make clothes that allow people to safely travel their tourist attractions otherwise they can kiss tourism goodbye if no one survives the journey. Why do you think the Goron have fireproof elixirs sold at Foothill Stables and their main attraction the hotsprings are below the burn zone

>>187203000
Raw uncut gems. Jewellery is more than having a big gems it needs to be cut, polished and set plus the Gerudo go that extra step and draw out the power of the gem. I don't see why you'd think the Rito would be perfume when the Gerudo already have a makeup industry and it's no stretch to think it extends to perfume

>>187202015
But your hands will go right through. Shes a ghost. Shes D E A D.

>>187203000
The Gerudo need powerful perfumes to cover up all that durian

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>>187202812

>>187202660

Like a lot of Hylian children, Link's dad takes frequent business trips overseas, so Link lives alone

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>>187202812
2

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>>187202812
3

>>187204321
>>187204768
>>187204982
Thanks anon

>>187204982
get your shit together Risa

>>187205919
>That look at the end
"You'll do"

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>>187202660
He must have been in Zora's Domain for a while considering all the things the Zora remember him doing

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>>187206123
I don't think that's what's on her mind

>when your gf is called Risa

Bit concerned lads.

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Would you wear this

>>187206250
>>187202660
The plaques say he already owned the helmet. He may have once had a full set of Zora armor. No knowing whether it was just him, or whether lots of people had the set at the time. It was a product they used to sell, but how many Hyleans are going to go native in the Zora's domain? I can imaging the reservoir being popular for water skiing, but none of the tourism infrastructure is located up there, so skiing probably wasn't a thing.

He dated Mipha there enough that Kodah was trying to compete for his affection, and Mipha's father knew that he and Mipha were an item. Story sounds like a school romance. They must have been cute at the prom.

Hard to guess the reason for his visit in the cut scene, but it would seem to just be that he wanted to be there. Work is in Hyrule, but Mipha is in the Zora's domain.

There may be a reason to believe the cabin at the reservoir was Link's. Of course there is also some lone home ruins west of Kakariko that looks a lot like ruins of what a Link family house would probably be like based on past games. No real knowing where Link lived, but his job was at the castle.

>>187207473
No. I might buy this for a girl.

>>187207473
no

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>>187207473
I'd wear this

>>187207473
Like, to the gym? Sure. But nowhere else.

>You will never give Urbosa a sponge bath after she finishes at a gym.

>>187207769
>you have to ask her to move because you can't reach all of her back

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I wonder how the Gerudo train to get such results. all we hear is about them running laps around the desert as punishment and how tough Barta and Pokki are for travelling such vast distances on foot or in the desert heat

Do they have a gym or is every Gerudo doing 100 push ups, 100 squats ... every day

>>187208061
Doing 100 of anything is useless for muscle building and just becomes endurance training at that point. I've never seen a Gerudo gym, so more likely a varied bodyweight routine with intense exercises like one-armed decline pushups and pistol squats, plus a shitton of protein in their diets
t. /fit/izen

>>187207503
Kodah should have won

>>187207985
>"Climb"

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>>187208556
their diet seems to consist of meat, mushrooms and fruit if the street food is anything to go by

>>187208556
I need to do some bodyweight routines, it's unacceptable that Riju is more fit than I am

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>>187209203

>>187208061
They had that obstacle course slash monster pit in Ocarina of Time and horseback archery.

Have you ever seen a Hylian Guard without his armor? (Aside from Link.) Who's to say that they're not that toned as well?

>>187209203
>ywn lose an armwrestling match to riju

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>>187209432
it's not a question of the guards being ripped. Everyone is ripped to the point that being ripped is considered an essential of being Gerudo

>>187210090
>other girls would find you attractive, but not me
I'm not buying it

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so what would happen if you stuck your head over the console and let the drop fall into your mouth and swallowed?

>>187210090
Ploka seems to forget that Hylians whupped Gerudo ass at multiple points in the past. Although I wouldn't blame her for ignoring the shitshow that happened to the Sand Goddess Temple in Twilight Princess. I'm sorry, I mean the "Arbiter's Grounds".

>>187210192
"YOU'RE UGLY AS FUCK! (except I find you cute in a weak sort of way)"?

>>187210426
Enlightenment.

>>187210426
it'd taste like a Switch catridge

Dont know if my Wii U is fucked or my TV is fucked or my Wii U gamepad is fucked, but when any character has an audio talking scene I can only hear the speech when I'm switched to the gamepad (but I can't hear the music or its really low volume). When I switch to TV I can hear the music but no talking. It's patched to 1.3.1.

>>187210426
You would immediately foam at the mouth and collapse dead

>>187210426
It prints the map on your insides.

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>>187210541
From what I gather of their history the Gerudo occasionally raided the Hylians and visited their towns to find boyfriends. The latter probably explaining why they weren't punished for the former. It was only with Ganondorf that they actually went to war with one another and the Gerudo got their asses kicked. Since then I gather they avoided each other until one or both of them were willing to negotiate for peace

Also for a 100 years the only people Gerudo would be exposed to stronger than them that they interact with would be the Goron. They have limited interaction with the Zora

>>187210715
Sounds like you're going to have to send it off to Nintendo

>>187211085
>visited their towns to find boyfriends
After a violent raid? That's a funny way of saying "chained together and forced to go on a death march through the desert and any survivors were used as sex slaves"

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What's the general consensus on Hyrule: Total War?

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>>187210541
>>187210192
She was saying she imagines Voe might find you attractive not that she personally could see your appeal. There's no implied lesbianism among the Gerudo

>>187211839
Some guys head canon which is directly contradicted in several places by the Zelda games. Don't give a shit about the game and the lore is worse than the official canon

>>187211972
>There's no implied lesbianism among the Gerudo
Am I being memed? This screencap is dripping with sexual tension

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>>187197467
oooooooooo

>>187211823
Sounds more like they set up a temporary brothel in town or hit the bars and go home with the first guy they think is suitable sometimes visiting him for repeat performances

>>187212310
she likes men and due to how manly Link is on close inspection she's pointing it out because it surprises her

>>187212357
I legit hate those guys thanks to the shitshow of Arbiter's Grounds.

>>187211972
I took that to mean "I like muscular girls".
"We're all vai here" is the most stereotypical lesbian line ever

>>187207154
Enjoy Risa's Wild Ride, anon. You'll never leave.

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>>187213002
Seems if that were her sexual preference there's far better subjects for her to perv on than Link. Heck Isha gets a weekly spa treatment so she gets to lay her hands on her once a week

So Daruk died 100 years ago. Daruks' son is at least ~99 years old (depending on goron gestation period). Daruks son is 99 years old and looks like a punk kid goron.

The boss of goron city looks like an ancient old goron. Just comparing him to Daruks son, we can imagine him being at the very least 500-600 years old. Yet when you talk to him about rudania, he cannot recall a time when rudania was protector of the city. What the fuck?

>>187213641
maybe she just has a hylian fetish then

I want /u/ to leave

>>187213857
Maybe he's senile/crazy?

>>187214091
but then all the Hylians are unscarred with no muscles. It makes far more sense to say she was surprised at how Link differed from her usual Hylian clients no lesbianism implied

>>187213857
He's Daruk's grandson IIRC

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>>187208685
Kodah got what she deserves

>>187214313
I guess it could just be a "damn gurl u ripped" without any romantic intent then, fair enough
I wonder how many Hylian clients she even gets, it's quite a trek out into the desert just for a spa treatment, and it's so hot that any benefits are probably undone the second you step outside...

>>187214241
At least they're not shipping they're usual favourites of:
Zelda x Impa
Zelda x Urbosa

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What do you think the boss of the new dungeon will be?

>>187214241
If you'd like, I can steer this toward /d/. Gerudo are just built for that.

>>187214527
Dark Link

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>>187214464
A great spa treatment is worth travelling any distance

>>187214369
But that's one of Link's illegitimate daughters.

>>187214491
Impa is Fat Impa in my head. nty
Urbosa I could see though. Their memory raised some eyebrows

>>187214573
>Dark Link pulls out an ancient arrow and one-shots you

>>187214692
I suddenly want to see a Gerudo lounging on Isle Delfino.

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>>187214464
she's apparently got a long waiting list. Also the fact that there's 2 Hylians make them the second largest tourist group and since the example is meant to represent the whole we can assume there's supposed to be more Hylian vai than we see.

I reckon they go for a long stay like Jules rather than day trips or anything short given the cost of stuff in town and how arduous the journey is

>>187214894
>>187214573

>Not a lynel with a 5 shot ancient bow and ancient arrows

Step it up

>>187214527
Kohga MKII with stasis powers

Been playing other stuff for the past few months, is there still no official statement on the timeline placement of BotW? Google didn't show anything from what I could tell.

>>187215095
That... kind of still applies to pulling out an ancient arrow and one shotting you. Except it's just the bow multiplying the arrow by five. Time will also be slowed with you affected. He'll also use stasis+ on you.

>>187214527
Vaati, who can step in to sieze power now that Ganon is gone

>>187215309
Nope

>>187214692
>>187214982
I feel like a Hylian undergoing a treatment meant for Gerudos would end up with broken bones and covered in bruises

>>187215835
No pain no gain.

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>>187215835
Such is the price for beauty

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DLC predictions

>>187215835
From the sounds in the background it sounds pleasurable at least far more so than a Goron backrub

>>187215835
It sounded like the Goron hot rock therapy would fuck you up more...

>>187215095

>not 1v1 ing all lynels in melee only using flurry rushes

They don't even shoot at you after the first time you get too close

>A cute Lynel princess will never secretly develop a crush on you as she crushes you.

>>187216143

>go to spa and get whatever the premium treatment is
>mentions your scars
>doesn't find out you're a voe

My head canon is that the masseuse rides you like a prize race horse everytime you go there as payment for keeping your secret

>>187216127
it's not going to live up to our full desires

>>187216127
Exponential increase in waifuposting.

>>187216571
you don't have to be fully naked for a full body massage if you don't want to be. So long as Link doesn't pop a boner he could probably get through it without revealing him self so long as he clearly states how far he wants the message to go

>>187217098
He can just lay on his front and not reveal anything. He's got girly hips anyway

>>187216127

I hope the DLC has lots of interactions with the Champions. I want more of all them. I think regal is gonna provide the most entertainment

>fucking dies to retardblight Ganon
>100 years later, Link dicks it and then heads to Hyrule castle and docks calamity Ganon
>revali STILL won't admit Link possesses any skill

>>187217098
>So long as Link doesn't pop a boner
I don't know how he manages to be in Gerudo Town without a boner 24/7 with how thick the hormones must be in the air

>>187216127
A couple of new clothing items and a fetch quest.

>>187217295

>all the Vai in town sync up menstrual cycles
> 4 days out of the month, the whole fucking town shuts down

>>187217257
I'm tentatively hyped for the Champions to be actual characters instead of just dead chumps

>>187217446
Don't muscular women generally get to skip?

>>187217295
Men and women's sweat smell different. No clothing can disguise that. The entire town should have been on him like a pack of wolves the second he stepped through the gates.

>>187217634
Link only smells of monster guts.

>>187217169
I know it would require more advanced AI but I wish all face covering outfits worked in Gerudo Town and/or accessories were also acceptable attire since Link doesn't have a beard or a manly jaw.

>>187217446
There must be some kind of social security/welfare to keep women in the money during their pregnancy and early parts of their baby's development

>>187217561
>Gerudo are so muscular that they actually squeeze and damage the entrance to the uterus
Suddenly their birthing problems make more sense

>>187217446
During those four days they go outside the gates in a haze of bloodlust and slaughter all the wildlife in sight, giving the town all the meat they need for the remainder of the month

>>187217783
No Anon. No. wtfiwwy

>>187217783
Their cramps must be fucking excruciating with the amount of muscle they have.

>>187217992
>wtfiwwy
???

>>187217783
the width of their hips actually suggest easier births rather than harder births than other women

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>this topic
It's no joking matter

>>187218312
We need to know

This thread took a turn. I'm afraid gynaecology is not one of my favourite specialities

Gerudo aren't human, there's no reason to assume their menstruation is as fucked up as ours is

>>187218192
>wtfiwwy
what the fuck is wrong with you

>>187219220
Gerudo are a human-like species, or at least a cursed race of humans. They can breed with Hylians and Humans, Hylians are divinely blessed Humans and can breed with Humans. Shiekah look like Hylians with a slightly different coloration and a cultural proclivity towards tattoos. Whether any of them can do it with Gorons, Zora, or Deku is unknown.

"If two populations can not interbreed, they are not the same species." So at least Gerudo, Hylians, Humans, and Shiekah are all the same species, just different races. So there's no reason that their menstruation ISN'T as fucked up as ours.

>>187219908
>>187218912
Considering how they continue as a species I'd actually think that these things would hinder them less because they can't be assured there'll be a man around to look after them in their time of weakness

>>187219908
I would assume they can't woth Gorons because I theorize Gorons reproduce asexually and as such have no genetalia.

honestly they should just lay eggs like the zora, AKA the "fire and forget" method

>>187220378
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick the method by which your species reproduces.

>>187220493
You can change this with science

>>187220640
I didn't not see any of Isha's accessories claiming to have this feature.

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>>187220047
>>187220361
They have nipples and belly buttons. Even outside of the Twilight Princess version, they have them. Which suggests that they had umbilical cords and possibly breastfeed.

>>187219908
>Hylians are divinely blessed Humans
that's bull, this isn't Wakfu

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>>187220774
>I didn't not see

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>>187220378

>fire and forget

>make Link care for your spawn

>>187220965
Zelda is a reincarnating incarnate goddess. Only Hylians could be seen in Skyloft and that's where Zelda lived.

>>187220806
Are you discussing Goron or Gerudo because I don't mention Goron in my post (2nd one)

>>187221156
There was also that one demon pleb

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>>187220774
How far does Gerudo gem technology go. They toy with the undead, they counter ancient sheikah technology which only the most advanced Sheikah minds can do via reverse engineering, they can provide half the benefits of the finest Zora helms, they can provide the strongest head defence possible in the form of earrings, they provide the same weather defence as basic Gerudo clothing, a doublet and a single piece of Rito clothing.

I'm surprised they haven't harnessed gems for stealth, attack power and inhuman grip for climbing

>>187221145
Link is a good mommy!

>>187221342
Yeah but he was actually a nice guy whom everyone just kept screaming in fear of.
>>187221171
Yes. But I accidentally hit submit before I remembered that I wasn't finished typing. As for the Gerudo, remember that magic exists in this world. Not sure why you tagged me now because I said nothing about men watching over them. Gerudo are essentially desert Amazons. Why would they need men to take care of them?

>>187218312
Is it scrambling your eggs, anon?

>>187221667
My point is if you don't have a partner it makes sense that you recover from or affected less by menstruation, pregnancy and childbirth than people who have husbands to look after you, any other kids you have and other such necessary things

>>187221643
It may just be a matter of finding the right gemstone to insert into the setting.

>>187220378
Gerudo are pretty tall so I imagine their eggs would be ostrich sized

Zelda MMO wen

>>187214241
Isn't /u/ mad because the Gerudo all want to fuck dudes and Zelda still wants Link's dick

>>187222028
I see a lot of emeralds, perhaps emeralds affect a Gerudo's stamina since green seems to represent it in Zelda

>>187222164
I would give anything for one

>>187222285
It causes muscle growth.

>>187222391
they have their own supply of Might Bananas for that seeing as they're sold in Kara Kara. They must buy a lot of stuff from there considering they have Durians as well. I expect the Gerudo struck trade deals whilst looking for Lover's Pond

>>187222391
hot

>>187220806
At the same time, they're seemingly monosex supported by the fact we only ever see Goron fathers, but no mothers, and all refer to each other as brother.

Also no genitals.

>>187223412
I like it when an artist draws a character's midriff completely smooth.

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>>187221651
>no happy family with Mipha, Link and some half human half fish abomination

>>187222218
I dunno, /u/ is always mad

>>187223412
>>187223559
I want to lick Riju's midriff!

>>187223219
They're constantly either wearing underwear or are swimming hot springs. Also we only see a part of their homes. It's the problem of Dwarves all over again! We either only see half the gender or there is no sexual dimorphism.

>>187222164
I want to roll a Gerudo mage and raid the Arbiter's Grounds with my guild!

>>187224016
what is an arbiter even? somebody who arbits?

>>187224201
Someone that arbitrates.

>>187224201
yeah 100%

>>187224201
an arbitrator is basically a judge

>>187224201
Basically "judge". The Arbiter's Grounds is essentially a giant court, although the dungeon is more of a Hyrulian-made prison and execution block... built on top of a Gerudo temple.

>>187224201
In this context it means like a judge, since it's a prison where people are executed

So if men aren't allowed in Gerudo Town, do they make an exception for the king or does he have his own digs somewhere else?

>>187224954
The Gerudo King is a Gerudo. He's exempt from the "no men" rule.

>>187224954
Gerudo first. Voe second

>>187225045
>>187225135
An enterprising human or hyrulian dude should apply for the job if its vacant

>>187225225
Gerudo King is the one man born to the Gerudo every 100 years. Otherwise I presume they're ruled by a Gerudo Queen or a Sage. If a Hylian/Human somehow marries the Queen/Sage, I guess he'd be consort not king.

>>187225430
In either event you'd get to breed gerudos, and isn't that what we all want?

>>187225430
Riju is considered "chief", which is a noticeably unisex title.

>>187225548
>breed gerudos
>gerudos
>plural
Are gerudo polygamous?

>>187225430
They're ruled by a hereditary line of Chiefs who I believe are descended from Nabooru.

>>187225225
>>187225548
In Ocarina I could see a particularly fine specimen of a man getting to impregnate multiple Gerudo in hopes he would produce strong children but now with this whole marriage thing i don't see it happening. Also I think the Chief's consort is also barred from the town unless he's the Gerudo voe

>>187225430
Too tall for me.
>>187225553
Right. And isn't there a whole "Ganon is totally not a Gerudo" kick? I haven't gotten far in BotW yet due to other games drawing my attention away.
>>187225740
Didn't Nabooru ascend to Sage-realm in the "Link defeats/falls to Ganondorf" OoT timelines?

... shit. Misclicked.
>>187225548
>In either event you'd get to breed gerudos, and isn't that what we all want?
Too tall for me.

>>187225708
Until BotW, they had no known level of matrimony. The few that speak of marriage, speak monogamously. Given that the Gerudo women date outside the village, there is little doubt that the Gerudo man would also seek courtship outside the local gene pool.

>>187225952
I reckon the Sages must have been alive or at least able to communicate with their people somehow otherwise the Gerudo wouldn't know anything about Nabooru's great deeds since the last they'd have seen of her would her in Knuckle armour ruthlessly carrying out Dorf's will

>>187226136
The next Sage could had been contacted by the 'dead' Sage a la Windwaker.

>>187211839
I like the interpretation of Majora.

However, it's story regarding Ganon, the Gerudo, and Bongo Bongo breaks WAAAAAY too much canon for my tastes.

>>187226314
Don't Sages only appear/awaken when needed so unless they was a Calamity immediately afterwards Nabooru's spirit wouldn't be communicating with anyone. I'm inclined to think she wasn't dead and she returned to the Gerudo installed herself as Chief and started the ball rolling for the sweeping changes that the Gerudo underwent

>>187226115
if the Gerudo always "date" and marry non-Gerudo wouldn't their standard of what is sexually attractive become non Gerudo.

>>187225740
Why Ocarina in particular?

>>187226791
The only Gerudo in BotW that I remember mentioning a Gerudo male id Rhondson, and she was driven by her mother. Seems like a classic trope of a mother wanting her daughter to marry power or money.

>>187225740
The chief's consort can climb in through the back after she dismisses her guards for the night and get in bed with her without anybody noticing

>>187227042
In Ocarina they take boyfriends not of this talk of husbands and marriage. Seems they are a bit more lax with regards promiscuity and also the fact that they allow worthy men to become Gerudo

>>187227325
Considering their ability to detect voe no matter where you are I reckon they'll know you're there. I'm inclined to think that Chief's break out a special tent once they're married in which they can "be" with their husbands

>>187227680
Ocarina of time does sound like prime gerudo hareming territory. Welp, I know what smut I'm writing and fapping to tonight. Thanks anon!

>>187227081
I'm more inclined to think she didn't want to leave Gerudo Town and was lamenting the fact there wasn't a Gerudo voe whom she could marry and remain in the town. The fact that despite claiming to be searching she never went further than Kara Kara until Link appeared combined with Kyra's musing on the voe ban and other things should tell you everything you need to know about how some Gerudo view the ban on voe

>>187227680
>I'm inclined to think that Chief's break out a special tent once they're married in which they can "be" with their husbands
Just build a swank ass cottage outside of the city walls. BOOM. There's your fuck palace.

>Rhondson marries Hudson
>In OoT when you wear the Gerudo mask around Talon, he says it reminds him of his wife.

Why are Gerudos attracted to fat guys?

>>187228342
Also how no less than 5 gerudo are aware you're voe and don't care

>Riju
>Buliara
>the old woman by the goddess statue
>proprietor of the GSC
>Barta

>>187228565
Every season is big boy season for them because the nights are always freezing cold.

>>187228565
His wife could had just been a redhead. Otherwise Malon would had been a Gerudo.

>>187228565
Fat guys can take a beating

I would really like to know of another Gerudo king that's not evil

>>187228635
If you're not careless Barta will never know

>>187228565
the other Gerudo you hook up is with a regular looking guy

>>187229487
Ganondorf did nothing wrong.

>>187229487
There's Ganondorf, who is possessed by Demise's Hate and/or chose to become evil.
Then there's another Gerudo named Ganondorf who raided a giant tomb of evil and became an evil demon.

So what's the cannon story of BotW?

>Gameplay: Link frees all 4 divine beasts, solves all the problems around Hyrule and kills ganon with the help of the Divine Beasts and the Master Sword, and the assistance of the Sheikah researchers and everyone else he encounters on his journey
>Lore: With the power of courage, friendship and working together, we can overcome any calamity

Or

>Gameplay: Link beelines straight for Hyrule castle and gives ganon the quick dick with the shit he finds on the ground on the way there
>Lore:Ganon was never any match for Link. The only reason that the events 100 years ago happened the way they did is because Link didn't expect to need to fight Ganon, 4 divine beasts and an army of guardians. In short, everyone else let Link down that time.

>>187229802
I was really intrigued by his backstory until SS pissed all over it

>>187229487
A tribe of women ruled by a man would be problematic. Even if they went the Four Swords route of him being their Guardian people would still throw a hissy fit

>>187229947
I like this list: >>186901957
Link does the beasts, gets the Master Sword, and kills Ganon.

>>187230454
>>187229947
Technically going straight to Ganon would the fastest way to free the Beasts. The only difference it would make to the people is the Zora would still be terrorised by a Lynel (if you killed it), the Gerudo would need to retrieve the Thunder Helm themselves, Yunobo would never learn bravery and Teba would never be injured

>>187230454

>all these things are canon
>these things are probably storyteller embellishment, implying the entirety of the game is a story being told to somebody else

This isn't mass effect

>>187230696
Going straight to Ganon would violate the advice given by the king, which is the first thing you can't help but see on the way out of the cave. Seeing the king is most likely canon, so the advice he gives should be as well. Impa will be likewise, except for obvious completionists fodder.

The voice acting would have been better if all characters had american accents like Urbosa instead of british.

>>187230931

What I'm really thinking is not "what did nintendo intend to be canon", what I care about is what people personally take as canon. I kinda like the idea of Link waking up pissed off and crushing the all-powerful calamity with only his reflexes and skill and second hand weapons stolen from Ganons own troops.

>>187230454
I disagree with Link obtaining the memories being non-canon, especially considering that's how you get the true ending.

Also fuck you, I want Epona to be canon.

>>187231665
The memories are just completionist fetch quest busy work. The trip to Zora's domain after killing Ganon would still happen even if Link didn't find all the memories, it just wouldn't be shown to the player.

>zelda holding back the calamity for 100 years alone
>no evidence of age or stress on her when she pops put of ganons womb, still wearing the dress she had on 100 years ago

Was she relaxing on the sacred realm or something?

>>187231918
Magic.
Her true age will catch up with her in a week, unless she visits Purah for the somewhat flawed youth treatment.

science > magic

>>187229947
Link rides straight to the castle beats Ganon, asks who the fuck Zelda is before riding off and becoming a cook

>>187231826
Maybe not actually running around collecting them, but he remembers them and how he died.

>>187232193
Let's see
>want to stay in Tarrey Towen get tasked if there isn't something else you should be doing
>get offered the opportunity to join the Gerudo army but are told you can't until you've completed your important mission also the Chief tells you that eventually you must leave

>>187232530
but the only people who would recognise you are the Zora and Purah, Impa and Robbie. to most people you're just some random pleb

>>187231826
If that's true, than the Royal White Stallion sidequest is canon because there's no other way that horse could possibly be acquired with that saddle and bridle set.

Link also canonically caught the 4/3/3 default horse and put it in the traveller's saddlry set.

Which makes an amiibo canon.

>>187232757
the Gerudo would never even give you the chance to get on their good side before kicking you out if you hadn't revealed and then proved your identity and worth

Tarrey Town isn't reliant on you being Link but I assume you must have said something about your mission at some point otherwise Hudson wouldn't mention it

>>187232764
The thing about the white stallion is that there is a time gap between the cutscene at the castle and the bonus scene. She will even get the horse if you didn't do the sidequest. It doesn't have to be canon to the game to still be Zelda's eventual canon horse.

>>187229292
speaking from experience?

>Zelda's magic fades.
>She begins to rapidly age.
>Visits Purah for help.
>Purah tries to reverse the damage.
>Zelda reverts to an infant.
>Paya has to babysit.

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Which would you choose?

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>>187237547

>>187237939
3 looks like she has the best tits, so that's where I have to vote

>>187237231
Who'll run the kingdom or at least continue the rebuilding efforts. I doubt the people will accept the Sheikah since it'd be too easy to claim they turned her into a child in order to seize power. The other races seem content to mind only their people and their territory

>>187237547
I like 4's bikini the best

>>187238523
Zelda can still rule. Just be sure to keep to the nap schedule and change her when she needs it.

>>187238523
Link

>>187237547
"Yes."

>>187202000
>I think it would be a grander ceremony than just a "baby shower"
But...they don't know it's a male until after they're born. So they just treat every baby equally and then scramble to throw a party together if it's male

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I can't believe Prince Sidon is fucking dead

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>>187243281
Sidon is cute

>>187243619
>Hey kid, wanna /ss/?

>>187243281
HOW COULD YOU

>>187243281
Does he actually fall asleep if its night when you meet him, thats adorable

>>187243685
The only shota Mipha is after is Link

>>187200225
>the result of a combination of literal reincarnation and probable eugenics
>"lol why didn't they just train another hylian warrior?"
You the type of person that plays RPGs but doesn't read what anyone says? Link is like, several ORDERS OF MAGNITUDE more skilled and powerful than even the greatest non-Hylian warriors, let alone Hylians, who seem to be pretty pisstier. The requirement for a Hylian to become one of the elite knights of Hyrule was just to kill a stalnox, something botw Link does for breakfast practically as soon as he wakes from his slumber at a tiny fraction of his true power. He simply isn't replaceable, even compared to past Links.

Now, from a narrative standpoint you have much more solid ground to stand on. The fact that it's been a hundred years doesn't seem to factor into the setting heavily at all, for all intents and purposes the Calamity could have happened 20 years ago or 200 and everything would be basically the same since all the Champions died at the same time during the Calamity to begin with and they and the still-living Sheikah scientists are the only characters that would be significantly affected. It's not like civilisation has been appreciably rebuilt, they're still pretty much huddled tribes of survivors.

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>>187243281
what's going on here? I don't remember Sidon ever chilling in the grass.

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>>187244027
>>187245801
>fall asleep
Guess again

>>187220806
>they produce milk of magnesium to feed their young

>>187244721
I need those new doujins asap

>>187244721
Zelda's thighs!

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>>187245889
Rest in peace, Fishie. Press F to pay respects.

>>187244273

But there's almost no destruction to speak of away from hyrule. Zora's domain is in perfect shape despite being made out of crystal, Gerudo town is entirely intact, rito village is fine. Life before and after the calamity appears to be the same for everyone that isn't hylian.

>>187245889
How did this happen?

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>>187249173
It's just a hack that replaces the model of any NPC with another, so this is a random adventurer NPC modelswapped into Prince Sidon after being KOed by monsters in the field

>>187249528
Oh

>>187249528
>all this work for a single screenshot posted on a mongolian sword trading board
i can't tell if i am amazed or abashed by this

What kind of music would Link listen to in his adventures? Also, sheikah slate radio when?

>>187252774
I just realized I have no idea what "Hylian music" sounds like

>>187253650
They don't really have a culture. Just the castle and the peasants surrounding it.

>>187253894
Is this like people who say white people have no culture

>>187253650
Basically this:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=vISBI_C_bJw

>>187254085
but it's true

>>187252774
Link is a Billy Joel fan

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xvdQNuIojeI

>Link is suddenly confronted with a stalnox.
>Pulls out his sword and shield.
>Starts humming Bonetrousle.

>>187254085
I mean, Hyrule and the Royal Family have culture and tradition. But the villagers outside the castle walls barely do.

>>187232193
must be the child timeline

>>187230392
His backstory is still more complex than Demise lets on.
Really the only important thing that Demise stipulates is that Gannondorf is to forever return

>>187230448
I don't think Japan would give a fuck.

>>187257371
Translation quirk. Demise doesn't actually cast a curse. It was generic villain revenge talk.

>>187231918
how long do you think she stayed in a bath after all of that? She had century old mud on her still
Did Link join her?

>>187257945
Hyleans never bathe. Ever.

>>187254085
their culture got blown up. Now they're a bunch of wandering treasure hunters

>>187257608
wow

>>187257608
So Link and Zelda being reincarnated really is just Hylia wanting to be with her husbando forever and ever

>>187254085
If we could get some of Kass's teacher's work we could get a better indication but we've never seen that much besides what surrounds the Triforce and the Royal Family

>>187259045
That manga isn't canon

>>187259045
No shipping is involved. Link's are new people that happen to also be heroic. Zelda remains to be seen, but the name is simple royal tradition.

>>187259087
Kass's teacher wasn't even Hylian

>>187259239
If Zelda's name is royal tradition, why isn't Link's name a tradition as well? They pass down tales of the hero but never mention his name.

>>187259525
doesn't mean his poems weren't

>>187259687
The one song we have of his is about him getting cucked which seems to be a vital part of Sheikah culture

>>187259589
until now Link's name has never explicitly been Link.

>>187259589
All Zelda's are named Zelda in honor of a curse that was placed on the first Zelda. Her brother felt responsible and remorseful, and decreed that all princesses would forever be named Zelda.

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>>187259781
It's not cucking, it's pining

>>187259839
there are still a half dozen Zeldas that come before him

>>187259963
His song is about another man fucking his waifu, that's a step beyond pining

>>187261227
more like giving up altogether

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This game almost left me in tears too many times

>>187232193

>settles down in tarrey town
>bokoblin attack
>Link single handedly dispatches them all
>woman says to him "Who are you?"
>"....I'm the cook"

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>>187263525

>>187259045
So how many times has she been cucked now?

The ALttP, OoT, and TP Links for sure didn't get with her.

>>187267632
>ALTTP

Wrong. See: the painting mentioned in ALBW

>>187267724
He was still in love with Marin the entire time. The times they were intimate were devoid of all passion.

>>187267847
Marin literally does not exist

>>187267908
And that's why Link loved her the most, she was the Zelda that lived in his mind. His ideal.

When he came home to the real Zelda, he found blemishes and imperfections. Maybe one tit was bigger than the other or her ass wasn't right. Maybe she could be a huge bitch when talking about her problems to him. Regardless, his perception of her was destroyed.

But Marin will be perfect forever on a metaphysical level. She was Link's true love.

>>187268340
Link isn't that shallow

I wish they would do more with the Adult timeline.

There's no reason Ganon couldn't escape sunken Hyrule somehow if a cult of Moblins dedicated to him or something were to try and ressurect him. He's gotten out of worse prisons.

Also think of how grave it would be considering he'd likely have the Master Sword at the beginning.

Was anyone a timeline theorist back in the day? Say around the WW-TP era?

Did you have any weird placements that are now wrong thanks to HH?

>Was a linearist(Pour one out to every linear bro who an hero'd after the tragic Aonuma interview of 2006)
>Put the Oracle games after LoZ and AoL and insisted they had the same Link.
>Also insisted every game before OoT was in New Hyrule founded by the HoW and Tetra, this also goes for the Oracle games.
>I actually backed this up via the entire premise of Link's Awakening and the Oracle games involving Link sailing off to different lands.
>I was also running on the assumption that PH would be about Link founding New Hyrule(It had not been released yet)
>>In my defense, splitcucks did the same.

Show me your autism /lozg/, all of it.

>>187267847
You realise that got retconned and ALttP Link is a different Link than the OoX/LA Link now right?

>>187271179
I refuse to accept that as canon.

ALttP Link was a great adventurer and you can't prove me wrong.

>>187271179
>You realise that got retconned
When?

>>187271530
He also fugs Zelda

>>187271890
Hyrule Encyclopedia that's out in Japan right now.

>>187271530
>>187270512
This is why I'm of the mind that the game lore is better when you ignore the official stuff and do one of the following.

1. The classic "each game is just a retelling with some having the obvious sequels"
2. Make your own chronology. It could be linear, split, split then merge than split into 6. Whatever.

It has no impact on the games whatsoever.

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>>187270512
>New Hyrule
I still can't believe they called it that. The King specifically said not to!

>>187274496
I just realized that Toon Zelda is taller than Toon Link.

>>187274572
she's probably wearing toon heels

>>187274496
He said that to a stupid kid and le contrarian pirate

>>187197970
>Tingle's real name is Aurie Taamu
Too good of a name for such a shitposter. It's a really cute name, and I'm being kind of biased since my former best friend's name was Auriel and I called him Aurie,
and one of the girls at the Finnish school I went to had the surname Taamu.

I really hope some story DLC comes out. But not just any story DLC. I want Aryll to make a return. I miss her from WW. Give me some Aryll x Link bonding times.

>>187272668
Is it getting a western release?

>>187278726
Yes, it's due to release in 2017 still

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>>187199635
Wouldn't you?

>>187217295
It's that mental discipline he learnt as a knight or he drains himself dry before he enters Gerudo Town

Wake up

I said wake up

>>187272668
Isn't that written by random magazine editors and not even close to canon? They even say "we're taking creative liberties lol" at the beginning

>>187277213
well we're getting the lobster shirt, that's almost as good