/ss13g/ - spessmen on a spess station

Yeah, I'm writing a deadmin request. You had no right to do that.

2nd for resisting out of slimes

Jesus christ that's an awful fucking paint job on the bingo board
lemme see if I can unfuck it at all

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>>180314228
>validhunting miners
>engineering hardsuit helmet HD

>>180314831
Only the highest quality of 15 minute mspaint shitfuckery for my spessmen anon.

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>Be warden
>No sec
>AI says someone broke into Mechanics
>Go to investigate, assume it's just some grey shit
>Go into maint
>See nothing
>Come out of maint
>THREE FUCKING NUKE OPS

>>180314954
>antag
>killing someone
>medi borg, engi borg and service borg show up to fight you

borg hall of cost when?

>>180314228
>ride never ends isn't clarified, does this mean the round went five years or someone set up a disposals ride
>4nr literally can't be marked because dude bombs and borgs rogue are right next to it
>three free spesses because literally no round will not have shit birds or waifags
>weak joke for the free space
/10

>>180315406
you literally have no imagination
>ride never ends is a medbay meme, you dip
>4nr can easily happen before these things happen (ie: greytider calling shuttle), or even after the situations are long handled and everyone is just tired
>shit bird and waifufaggotry is subjective. Souhei-stended can be considered waifufaggotry..
>fuck you free spess is a good joke

>>180315406
>ride never ends isn't clarified
It means medbay has a queue of bodies they can't treat properly because of understaffing, sabotage, incompetence, etc.

>>180315406
>no more bombs left
>borgs blown
>3 engineers and a mommi fixing everything at very hihg speed
>shuttle called anyways
A hard one but it happened before and it will happen again

Also the shitter mime is another free space

If BYOND were to shutdown tomorrow, what would it mean for SS13

>>180316579
Some actual work would finally be put into a remake and we could get one that's not awful in possibly as little as a few years

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>>180316579
man id be pretty depressed if ss13 was gone for good

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This image must be reposted more often

>>180316579
Nothing. Byond is a platform and a software, not some host server. The site would go down and the client would stop receiving updates, but it wouldn't be any different a situation for Minecraft if Mojang went bankrupt.

best server

>>180317467
t. literal inbred

>>180316579
OPEN SOURCE????

>>180317548
Only in your wildest dreams.

>Foster creates a fuckhuge bomberman arena for roundendstended
>game starts
>World Reboot triggered by Mai Penis

>find shotgun in O2 locker
>put it on my belt
>miss by 1 pixel
>shuttle vented

>>180318160
The best.

I use to play this years ago. Probably around a decade. Has the UI improved?

>>180318435
Considerably

>>180316579
It'd be worth it to see the suffering of numerous degenerates and snowflakes. They'd probably just all fag off to DarkRP or something though.

If I don't get my detective roll next round I'm FUCKING KILLING MYSELF

>>180318319
press E next time.

>>180318435
There is now a toggle for WASD control layout. Everyone still look like a beaten potato sack so you should have some nostalgia from that.

>>180318670
>pick up gloves
>press E
>it puts them in your pocket
truly amazing

>>180318931
fake and gay, git gud fag

>>180318931
It likes to do that with masks too, can be a wild ride when there's a sudden leak and you have some other shit on your face.

>>180318478
>using the word degenerate or snowflake unironically
Fuck off Commie.

>>180319042
>the jew cries out in pain as he strike you

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>>180318959
This happens though

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>>180319215
Collectivists are commies, and commies get free helicopter rides.

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>go on the ss13 subreddit to see if it's any good
>it's just people jacking off CM and it's admin team
Should I have been surprised?

>>180319386
What did you expect?

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I need good pictures to represent lingstended, ick ock, and engineering 'tism
take this in return

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>>180320086

>>180320360
ock ick ban this dick

Pomf really is the greatest. I check in once every few years, sometimes playing a whole lot (but usually not), and this serbia is still alive.

I remember all the old ones, and even the crappy servers that changed once a month, right at the very beginning. Pomf is the best chicken.

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>>180320534
Less than three years until we can see xhes next upgrade

>>180320696
How do you go from being a potato to becoming a chicken?

someone post the IM SERIOUSLY NOT ROGUE YOU GUYS image

i'm not rogue
the revs did it

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>chemist roundstarts lubes hallways and goes braindead
>it's malf

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>>180319042
>>180318478

>call out malf
>almost hack into core
>people just watch as a borg saxes in and polyacids 5 people

You guys are a fucking shame.

>>180321401
check the banpage

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>>180321338

I couldn't have carded the AI without my pAI buddy.

Also, fuck the Captain.

>>180318160
>about to join the game
>round ends, think "oh well next round is starting soon"
>some admin delays the round
>still can't join
>things start happening so now people DEFINITELY won't want the round to end
>based Mai Pal restarts the server

>>180318435
the game has defnitely improved greatly in the last ten years

CHECK THE BAN PAGE

>You are an absolute shitty, your notes are awful, your ban page is full of "this is your last chance" and you are roundstart chemist spreading lube. I'm done with you toeing the line. Toe this line
Thank fucking god

>>180321474
is the most recent ban the chemist?

>when the antag's so bad your validhunting senses get thrown for a loop

That bridge apc was an incredibly bold move, i'll give it that much

To the mediborg: if you're going to pacid tech storage, you have to get all of it

Also, what the fuck was with the greyshit tribe dragging around the sec officer

>>180321484
wanna fight devon you rouge faggot!

>dont replace barriers after going in and out of sec
>HOS gets his ID stolen at round start
>HOS doesnt pick up crowbar at round start
>officer arrests captain after captain gives him an order
>detective runs in and grabs the captains ID and never talks on sec again

gas yourselves

>>180321535
>darthmaull: Ban evasion, alt of mrdarkcsgo
>this guy came back

>>180321634
To be fair, captain (((thought))) AI wasn't rogue and was getting in the way.

>>180321482
>"rouge"

>>180321589
>That bridge apc was an incredibly bold move, i'll give it that much
Will try to be stealthier next time, it was my first time as a malfunctioning AI and shit.

So When caught I just started roleplaying as a truly malfunctioning AI, being incoherent and shit.

SERB IS DOWN?

>>180321803
i thought for sure it was an emag, i thought there was no way an malf AI would be that retarded

>playing malf and not even asking your borgs what to do in case they know more than you
>especially if youve never done it

stop that

Serb ded.

SERB

DED

IS

>>180321589
>Also, what the fuck was with the greyshit tribe dragging around the sec officer
Funny story, I saw a guy fucking with a lying down officer in the middle of maint, he spazzed out and started dragging the officer out of maint and into the hallways. I followed him and like a school of fishes the rest of the greys followed in suit.

>>180321875
yes

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>>180321875
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

>>180321781
nigga everyone knew it was malf, just not every person tries to collects their valids right away, I personally was waiting to see if AI had some fun gimmick but it just flooded so I went into valids mode

>>180321803
Better that than "free pass to just kill everyone 'borgs go kill everyone'"

>>180321484
It was a lot of fun, you were the only competent dude in that entire department and you were a pretty cool one at that. c:

>>180321437
the polyacid burned my space helmet and gas mask, a flash bang brought me back to the floor and just as I got up again a floor tile was removed ;(

NOOOOOOOO WHY IS SERB DOWN?
Did they toe the line too hard?

2EDGY BANNED

MAI PAI == GOD

>>180321909
BUT MUH GIMMICK. I HAD SUCH A GOOD ONE

>med borg runs in and polyacids all the weapons in the brig

i was getting flashbacks to yred, i dont know if thats a good thing

>>180321931
Captain certainly doesn't, thus the arrest was warranted.

>>180321943
Just fucking flash the borg idiot, why were you in the asshole of the people breaking in?

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>>180321634
>AI is obviously rogue
>prepare to card the AI and wipe
>blasmaflud
>wirejack my way into the AI Upload
>AI wants me gone as it says that I'm trying to change laws
>could just disable equipment I said
>captain comes
>holds me at gunpoint with antique laser
>taze him
>cuff him
>borg try to squeeze out
>flash borgs
>bring captain to brig
>hos is strangely apathetic towards the situation
>go in again
>crew gather at the ai upload
>we wiggle our way in
>engineer in atmos hardsuit allows me to card the ai and wipe him

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>>180321963
>chemist round start spreads lube
>non antag

kek where the fuck do these people come from?

>>180321803
your best bet is tricking the crew that it's another game mode and hacking APCs while it's in chaos
partrician tier is making the crew think it's blob and even better is getting code red
FUN tier is having an engie borg build a shitload of airlocks around your upload
or putting an autoburger in the bar
lame tier is winning with plasmaflood fire everyone's dead
sec checks APC spots roundstart just incase so you should always wait a while

>>180322018
cite the space law kiddo

>>180322005
>he doesn't pacid the armory everytime as a rogue medborg.
great way to remove the ions from the round, and a satisfying way to cuck secshitters.

ITS BACK UP

>>180321931
>dude I totally knew they were murdering people, I just wanted to let it happen
Did you think this makes you look better?

>>180322084
They don't understand how good they got it on /vg/

>>180321890
>i thought for sure it was an emag, i thought there was no way an malf AI would be that retarded
Indeed, but at least it was funny.

Next time I will do better, im sure.

>>180321891
I don't care so much about winning as I care about having fun, and I had fun for sure. Next time I will try that, maybe.

>>180321936
True.

>>180322085
Will keep those in mind, any more pro-tips?

>>180322129
>The warden just let you leave afterwards

>>180321939
Don't you worry, I have my moments of being unrobust as well.

>>180322005
i was one of the original killbot borg players before yred. my best day was klling 20-30 people with the radio transmitter before it got nerfed into irrelevancy

yred was a traitor far, far more often then i was though.

>>180322005
Cyrr gave me PTSD.

>>180322223
HAHAHAHAHAHA, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Not even an attempt at a flashing?

>"woops, I don't know what happened to all the guns warden, I think some greyshit broke in or something, haha, ok I'm gonna go now, see ya later"

How do I date a vox?

>>180322078
you are supposed to listen to the captain not collect valids.

>>180320360
guys pls I'm gonna get banned. I'm not even a waifag, I just really like my name.

>>180322371
jam a knife into your genitals.

>>180322372
>blasmaflud
no

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>>180322372
>card obviously malf ai
>listen to a dumb captain

>>180322085
>Alerting the crew so everyone has weapons to kill your borgs

>>180321781
>>180321634
HoS here, I didn't even pick that character with HoS pref, I was aiming for clown. Fucking randomized character selection.

>>180322371
murder the gaybird's boyfriend

>>180322072
flash doesn't work unless you manually flash the specific borg. That doesn't work when your face is melted and your organs are falling on the floor while you're keeled over in pain.

>>180322372
>AI is literally plasmaflooding
>you should listen to a literal downie who thinks it's not rogue
That doesn't even make sense from an RP perspective.

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>>180322494
>guns
>killing borgs
>since it's blob they leave the ions in the armory

>>180322369
>>180322223
someone in sec walked in on me after the initial deathcloud of acid had cleared and it was just the leftovers.

she got a little melty and let out a OH GOD WHAT THE FUCK as i zipped away spamming my *beep macro

>>180322369
>>180322223
i was fucking confused the whole round, i figured when i heard plasma flood plus pacid the weapons i was going to give up and head for the sec shuttle. But the flood never came

>>180322541
Yeah you are a shitter, go fuck yourself.

>>180322557
To be fair, I wasnt the one plasmaflooding, that was one of my borgs i think.

>>180322532
>tfw you'll never get to Good. You opened this message. This isn't actually asari military command. They're busy tending to what's left of their planet.

So you survived our fight on Thessia. You're not as weak as I thought. But never forget that your best wasn't good enough to stop me. Now an entire planet is dying because you lacked the strength to win. The legend of Shepard needs to be re-written. I hope I'm there for the last chapter. It ends with your death.

-KL

>[17:55:34]ADMIN: HELP: Molenga/(Jeff): hey, first time as a malfunctioning ai, could you give me some pro-tips? - heard by 2 non-AFK admins.
>[17:55:40]ADMIN: PM: MrFoster/(Qin Zheng)->Molenga/(Jeff): dont fuck up
ONE
JOB

>>180322736
You could have given me some better tips, but you decided not to, this is the result.

Blame yourself if you need to blame someone. I had fun and learned what not to do when malfunctioning, if you are mad over how the round went you should consider being more helpfull in the future.

>>180322736
>implying they fucked up

>>180322532
but im not gay

>>180323112
YOU SAID IT YOURSELF
GAY
IS
OKAY

>>180323112
then i don't have any answers for you
there's no such thing as a straight furry

>>180323062
did anyone ever tell you you take life too seriously

>>180323062
That's not even me, bud

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[17:59:39]ADMIN: PM: PublicEnemyMaiPai/(Mai Pai)->2edgy/(Aniyah Potter): roundstart chemist makign spacelube and spreading it?
[17:59:50]ADMIN: PM: 2edgy/(Aniyah Potter)->PublicEnemyMaiPai/(Mai Pai): YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME NOW
[17:59:51]ADMIN: PM: PublicEnemyMaiPai/(Mai Pai)->2edgy/(Aniyah Potter): are you actually fucking kidding me?
[18:00:04]ADMIN: PM: 2edgy/(Aniyah Potter)->PublicEnemyMaiPai/(Mai Pai): Plus it's malcolm in the middle, it's not like i chose chemist
[18:00:30]ADMIN: MOD: MrFoster/(Qin Zheng) : Malcolm in the Middle isn't a round type
[18:00:39]ADMIN: MOD: PublicEnemyMaiPai/(Mai Pai) : i know
[18:00:53]ADMIN: MOD: PublicEnemyMaiPai/(Mai Pai) : im deciding how long i ban him form medbay and if he gets any regulare time off too
[18:00:56]ADMIN: MOD: PublicEnemyMaiPai/(Mai Pai) : reading his notes
[18:02:00]ADMIN: MOD: PublicEnemyMaiPai/(Mai Pai) : well, im thinking given how long he has been here giving him a month off of medical and gibbing him, thoughts?
[18:05:23]ADMIN: PM: 2edgy/(Aniyah Potter)->PublicEnemyMaiPai/(Mai Pai): Did you ever admin colonial marines? This reminds me of it
18:06:32]ADMIN: PM: Zealotron/(Sawbones)->2edgy/(Aniyah Potter): hi
[18:06:38]ADMIN: PM: 2edgy/(Aniyah Potter)->Zealotron/(Sawbones): hullo
[18:07:18]ADMIN: PM: 2edgy/(Aniyah Potter)->Zealotron/(Sawbones): Is this the CM server?
[18:08:27]ADMIN: PM: Zealotron/(Sawbones)->2edgy/(Aniyah Potter): why do u do these things
[18:08:42]ADMIN: PM: 2edgy/(Aniyah Potter)->Zealotron/(Sawbones): the song got me pumped up man :P
[18:08:47]ADMIN: PM: Zealotron/(Sawbones)->2edgy/(Aniyah Potter): what song
[18:08:58]ADMIN: PM: 2edgy/(Aniyah Potter)->Zealotron/(Sawbones): the theme of malcolm in the middle
[18:09:04]ADMIN: publicenemymaipai has banned 2edgy.
Reason: You are an absolute shitty, your notes are awful, your ban page is full of "this is your last chance" and you are roundstart chemist spreading lube. I'm done with you toeing the line. Toe this line

>>180323287
>did anyone ever tell you you take life too seriously
I would not know, I have autism, a short memory span and an IQ of 80.

>>180323202
vox aren't furry

>>180323345
God, I fucking hate Mai Pai. His grammar is goddamn ESL-tier atrocious. I've seen CSGO-playing 12 year old slavs who type better english than him.
How can such a fucking illiterate piece of shit get admin?

>>180323483
are you okay 2edgy

>>180323345
Life is unfair...

>>180323395
you can tell yourself that, anon

>>180323483
He banned 2edgy? even more of a reason to like him imo. Ill ignore the bad grammar and spelling if he actually does his job.

>>180323605
Man, I'm not 2Edgy, I just fucking despise Mai "3 days" Pai, along with pretty much every other one of the new shitmins.

>>180323605
Hello, that is not 2edgy, this is 2edgy, also, the only admin i hate is MrPain12
Have a nice shift

>>180323689
but vox have scales and quills, not fur

>>180323689
they aren't. skeletons are the furry race

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>>180323345
>Toe this line
Why are these edgy prepubescent fucks allowed to admin
We're not so short on admins that we need people of this fucking calibre
I'll volunteer to take over their position if they just fuck off

>>180323751
avians and scalies both are subsets of the furry fetish
you're allowed to enjoy whatever you want to enjoy, but vox are certainly furfaggotry, which is just fine

>>180323791
>We're not so short on admins that we need people of this fucking calibre
Before the latest batch of trialmins there were no admins on for several hours at night literally every day.

>>180323791
>edgy prepubescent fucks allowed to admin
They're not. They're banned for lubing shit as a chemist

What's an easy-ish job that I'll actually learn a trade from

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Everything below this is not 2edgy

>>180323924
I play a mechanic in game, and it taught me welding. Now I make 6 figures.

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>>180323791
This. This is what bugs me the most about the newest batches of Trialmins. They don't even try and act professional or respectful to the playerbase, they're quite obviously assholes who are inches away from banning pretty much anyone they don't like, who think they're badass because they have the power to ban someone from a videogame server.
We used to have okay-ish, arguably even the best admins, out of the entire SS13 community. Now we've got fucking GmodRP tier admins since all the OG shitmins are leaving or deadminning.
I am angry. I am angry about children.

hey im the fucking sawbones

>>180323905
Let's be real here. Skeletons are the only furry race.

>>180324069
http://oglaf.com/tibia/

>>180324029
>welding
>6 figures
Really?
The only thing I can think of that would really get that would be fucking telecomms tower welders or some shit.

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Rest in peace, the last good admin composition.

>>180323908
And it was barely worse than it is now

Why can't people just spam admin announcements and votes to make themselves hated like niggly and celt

>>180324225
More like "tibia continued"

>>180324260
Being a mechanic also taught me telecomms. I am pretty high up on the ladder at AT&T, and it's all because of what job I chose in an autistic atmospheric simulator. My last paycheck was 80 grand. I get paid monthly.

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>>180324545
yeah, sure ya do man, and i make millions a week with this one weird trick

>>180323791
>>180324030
>meming on someone who pretty much straight up tells you he doesn't give a shit about the rules when permaing him
>WOW SHITMIN???! DONT EVN RESPECT ME DEADMINE WHEN
i remember when a shitmin was someone who lied about other admins and banned people because his gf said to

>>180322603
>I don't know how to play the game
lol

>>180324949
It's the total lack of grammar that hurts the most
And the I AM THE LAW I AM THE LAW I AM THE LAW I AM THE LAW

>Too scared incase I chat as character in OOC
>Too scared incase I chat OOC IC.

I just pretend I'm a deaf janitor every game.

>>180324949
I remember when a shitmin was me,
on the nightshift

>>180324030
>>180325245
Perhaps being a shit for enough time to have several "last time now buddy next time is a glowing voucher" bans and then continuing to be a shit is not the best start for a friendly relationship.
Doesn't Mai Pai literally have dyslexia anyway?

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>Years ago
>Maybe 2006
>Brand new to this game
>Start first game
>Traitor
>No idea what to do, don't want to ruin game
>OOC: "Guys, I'm the traitor, have no idea what I'm doing"
>"Thanks for letting us know bro, we'll restart the game, we'll show you the ropes as well"
>Start new game
>Traitor again
>Panic, not sure what to do
>Quit game without saying anything
>Hour later
>Feel bad
>Log back in under different account
>Other players: "Man, this game is slow, nothing is happening, Maybe he was the traitor again"
>"Nah, no way, he wouldn't do that it. He told us the first time"

I'm so sorry guys.

>>180325581
i do, honestly it does feel bad when i fuck up and everyone makes fun of me for it but whatever, thats the internet for you

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>>180325780
You never thought to read the wiki or do anything the entry screen told you to do?

>>180325780

don't beat yourself up over it anon, it's just a game.

>>180326434
i feel like for 2006 none of that would have existed

>>180326434
>2006
>this lack of reading comprehension

>>180323791
>we're
lmao fuck off 2weiners

>>180327785
excuse you, it's 2edgy

>>180327785
>>180328029
Let the banned rest

>>180323345
malcolm in the middle mode when

>>180328256
when arthur is online

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>>180328256
baby's day out mode when

>player controlled baby spawns at roundstart
>captain has to secure him
>anywhere from 2-5 undercover syndicate agents cooperate to capture him
>baby can resist out of people's grasp/containers and ventcrawl on cooldown timers
>babu gets randomized objectives as the round goes on (e.g. "go to the laundry room," "pet ian," "light somebody's cock on fire"), completing them enhances baby's abilities and strengthens its plot armor for further mischief
>baby must eat regularly or die (to prevent players from locking it in a room for extended periods)
>four minutes before the emergency shuttle docks all agents are notified via pda uplink that a syndicate shuttle will be arriving at one of several random locations at the same time as the emergency shuttle
>if the baby arrives at centcomm, the crew wins
>if the baby arrives aboard the syndie shuttle, the syndicate wins
>if the baby's left on the station or dies, everyone loses (round continues??)

Oh shit 2edgy is banned there is justice in this universe!

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>running around after the shard detonation
>miner throws his pokeballs of doom
>see frank being eaten by a cyberhorror and a xenomorph
>begs for me to help
>unarmed assistant with a stolen hardsuit and a crowbar
>nothing i can do
>run away yelling IM SORRY leaving him to his fate
that was horrorfying

FUCK YOU RONALD MULLER THE DIGITAL VALVE WAS WITH AN AAC SCRIPT TO KEEP DISTRO AT ~100KPA LIKE IT FUCKING SHOULD BE WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU PUT A MANUAL VALVE IN DONT FUCKING PLAY ATMOS TECH IF YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND SHIT ABOUT ATMOS.

>double agent
>have to track down a shaft miner
>luckily I can xenoarch
>head out looking for him
>find his coworker, no sign of him anywhere
>see unmined diamond
>never mined before, decide to get it for the hell of it
>it's gibtonite
>die
>try to boo the other miner into coming over to me
>he doesn't find me
>my target does
>strips me, throws me into space
>he didn't even take anything except my ID

clown cart 2 fast nerf when

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bus too slow

please unban kolith
he learned his lesson

>>180328524
>when non miner plebs get blown up by da gibtonite
ahue

im just going to start murdering felicity the first time i see her any round

shes always an antag

and even if she isnt shes a turboshitter

i let you go because you RP'd and talked dee, you were fun to interrogate and didnt just go brain ded

>>180328598
The thread is the wrong place to ask.

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>>180328390
This is not malcolm in the middle

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>>180325780

>tfw in 2000 i found byond
>tfw playing small games and genuinely having fun exploring each of the games and having fun
>tfw had no idea that years later i would find out about byond again and play it solely for spessmen
>don't feel like exploring all the other shitty games that was made thorough the years

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>HoS instead of doing the smart thing and securing any areas that would cause serious damage if tampered with, wants to try and kill someone moving so fast that radiation can't touch them

>Detective not doing their job at fucking all, asked him to scan something and he didn't, I had an assistant who had bloodied gear on him

>Warden (the second worst, really), leaving the brig in sec hardsuit when there's a full contingent of security guards already doing the thing they geared up for

>Captain executing the assistant I had interrogated with no real reason given and they weren't even antag, meanwhile Felicity just works her way into the SME and destroys the station

>>180320828
Homegrown memes

>>180328715
Post your account created date to get free (You)'s

>zealotron still not deadmined
There is work to be done, still.

>>180328810
My eyes are opened and I understand it all now.

>>180328810
Pomf
Why do we have so many admins
Why do we need so many admins
please make it stop
kill it

>>180328930
so i can properly launder the patreon money.

>>180328996
What do we need to do to get zeal deadmined? Clearly the forum isn't working.

>>180328996
>>180329069
This. We need to purge the admins of any and all traces of metaclub influence and ban those responsible for the utterly horrid state our admins are in.

>>180328806
she wasnt going to be caught, she would just go somewhere else and fuck something else up. At a certain point you just have to accept that you are fucked and there is nothing you can do and just enjoy the ride.

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>>180328524

>Dying by gibdonite

I would have stripped you if i found you lying somewhere else, but that was too obvious. I didn't think you were a traitor, much less the guy that had to kill me

>>180328806
Only time I left the brig was when I had to get materials to repair the breach, when the Captain was calling for backup and no one else responded, when taking dead inmates to medbay, and when heading to the escape shuttle. It's not like I was patrolling maint.
Excuse me for wearing a hardsuit when perma is breached, there are meteors, and someone has been threatening to blow the SME all shift.

>>180329302
I didn't say anything about catching them.

>>180329432
You didn't do your job at all, I spent a nice amount of time sitting in brig and I saw
>Warden repeatedly leaving and entering
>A security guard putting 10 minutes on someone's cell and when I checked the records there was nothing on them.

You don't need to do any of the things you listed, you could have easily had an engineer fix the breach and you could have just had someone take the bodies to medbay.

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Away mission to the clown dimension when?

>>180331843
Planet, not dimension

>>180330229
them? who's that?

>>180330229
The guy was literally asking for more time consistently, try to keep up. His gimmick was wanting to be in a cell for some reason.

>>180331931
That's what they want you to think.

>>180332290
You mean the galactic circus of clown trainers?

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>>180332458
He knows too much.

Silence him.

>>180332285
>Wasting a cell on a fucking gimmick
Jesus christ, that's literally worse than "I didn't care what the security guards did"

>>180332845
muffled honking

>vox decide to capture CE to bargain with
>CE immediately goes braindead, crew kills single vox that went to bargain

>>180333524
>be someone
>greentext the round that isn't over

>>180333552
>greentext current round
>nothing can happen because of anonymity
>provide good feedback to crew

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>Vox can't enslave men, inject them with space hormones and make them their trap sex slave

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>>180335151
They can

>>180335151
opossums are cute

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>>180335151

>you will never ERP Dom Hachi while eating chicken nuggets

>>180328390
this meme needs to die

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>walk into the AI upload because it was open
>HoS wants to give me 20 minutes for it
>get AI to set it to 0
>get a raider headset from the ground
>HoS wants to perma me for it
>shitpost in sec comms until the AI does something to stop me

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>Join late as observer
>A few seconds before the round ended
>See this

What did I miss

that was a fun round captain!

>captain hand teles himself and a sec member into the rocks on the roid without a pick
>laugh then get annoyed at having to dig them out

you were great though, the ideal captain, i would follow you into hell

>>180335483
>slate is back
looks like we found a replacement for rin

>>180328524
how do you die to gibtonite? you have like five seconds to run away

>>180335483
Help: Sandy_Sand/(Lif Web): they want to perma me for having a vox headset - 2 Active admins, 0 AFK admins.
Is it me or is that a little deceptive of you, to the admins.

>beaten nearly to death 4-5 times
>brigged for 18 minutes total
>hated, persecuted, and yelled at
>bashed with a bible
>hated by everyone
>all because i looked at people funny
>and went so far as to be within 1 tile of other people for extended periods of time
I can now safely say this has actually happened in a real, actual round.

>security gets 2 holochips from the birds
>they go unused until a QM goes to the brig to beg for one of them

>>180335620
I already caught them roundstart in the armory. I didn't want to fuck them up too bad

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>>180335608
i few seconds later i corrected it and said it was a raider headset
literally doesn't break any laws but HoS is a massive faggot
if it did it's at most 5 minutes for contraband

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http://ss13.moe/forum/viewtopic.php?f=40&p=20247#p20247

pssst

hello australia and new zealand :^)

>>180335697
nigga it's the worst gamemode, you don't drag it out

>>180335483
AI here, I enjoyed bullying you.

>>180335483
"Bombing the station with high-yield explosives, starting fires, pumping Plasma, N2O or CO2 into the Distribution Loop, causing widespread hull breaches, overriding engine safeties or setting them up to cause massive damage, destroying complex machinery, releasing deadly diseases, subverting or destroying the AI or the Cyborgs all count under Grand Sabotage. Note that the AI and Cyborgs can be destroyed if they are rogue, context always counts."

notice the bit about subverting the AI

you walked into upload and i stunned you with a freeform board in your hand. Captain also literally ordered the permaing. I meant to perma you at round start but the vox came so i just threw you in a cell. It wasnt for having a vox head set man. I enjoyed your shitty ahelp though.
James T. Kirk/Greatamericanman (@228,234,1) As Galactic Common : Perma

[20:26:27]SAY: Lif Web/Sandy_Sand (@226,233,1) As Galactic Common : I did nothing wrong
[20:26:27]SAY: Bo Digson/DeadHarold (@207,192,1) As Galactic Common : He wasn't kidding
[20:26:29]SAY: Joey Davies/NickLunna (@195,260,1) As Galactic Common : I'm making one right now.
TOPIC: "status", from:[IP CENSORED], master:, key:
[20:26:29]SAY: Slate Slabrock/Boondoggy1 (@225,232,1) As Galactic Common : Yep

logs where captain orders you permaed, i was just correcting my mistake, not arresting you for the vox head set.

>>180331843
more away missions when, is the better question

>[21:31:39]SAY: James T. Kirk/Greatamericanman/(James T. Kirk) (@124,125,3) Deadsay: stammers, "Until I see a picture of a pussy"
what did he mean by this?

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>>180335971
>subverting or destroying the AI
it was a completely harmless law, i bet no one even checked it and i didn't even get to upload it
it was just going to make the AI call the station a fortress, nothing too memey
plus the HoP didn't seem to give a shit so i stuck around

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>>180336143

Now I'm going to play a Vox trader, take lewd photos of nurses I get liquored up, and sell them to the crew.

>>180335565
you just liked me because I gave you all access roundstart

>be raiders, steal some guns, stir up the valid hunter space jetpacking brigade
>zealous raider wants to subvert borg
>starts flashlocking the borg
>emag is back on the ship, I have a bad feeling about this
>I taught him to tip the borg, but apperantly tipping does absolutely nothing
>eventually his flash runs out and the borg stunlocks us
>he doesn't kill us
>he spaces me instead, I land on the biodome vault, this isn't such a bad turn of events
>Idea flashes in my head
>I steal the chem dispenser, gardening supplies, planned on making rezadone and having infinite clones
>other raider suggests we emag it to produce human clones for infiltration
>make my way across space until I eventually reach z-level 1 again
>reunite with fellow raiders, rebuild the chem dispenser, begin farming
>realize I forgot the most important part of the farm-I forgot the fucking soybean seeds
>literally felt my soul crush into a singularity upon the realization
>soon after the mvp of the raiders goes to bargain with the crew for the catatonic CE
>is captured
> he wouldn't clone, something about being unable to find his implant
>power outage event hits, I sneak out in hopes of saving him
>forgot to refill my jetpack and so I have to go back, by that time the event goes away
>on my way back, with no jetpack, get intercepted and killed
>get cloned
>none of the clones have ID"s or headsets, so we're trapped in the room
>I make thermite, but neither of us had an ignition source
>more humans break in, almost dunk our shit
>we fight back
>I feel bad for killing the guy that spared me earlier in the fight, but I had no other option so I gunned him down while he was finishing off my partner
>even more fighting breaks out.
>we go home, half of us alive, the other half beaten and bruised, our mission a failure.
it was pretty fun though, and it could have been more fun if I didn't suck ducks. I wonder why that sec borg didn't kill us right there and then

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>>180335776
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OrIS4vTtpig

>>180335570
dont worry, ill get bored and go back to playing other games sooner or later. You can try to get me banned also, certainly wouldnt be the first person to try.

>>180336143
someone was trying to tell me hachi was a girl. I denied it until...

>>180336257
any law changes not approved by the Captain is subversion
doesn't matter if it's onehuman, or an order to spam BRAP, you done broke the law

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>>180335776
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xI6TRTBZUMM

>>180336408
Borg here, tipping doesn't seem to increase the amount of time stunned at all but it forces all module slots to empty themselves.
There's also apparently a wooping 1% chance to open the battery cover when tipping.

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>>180336451
>any law change not allowed by the captain is subversion
nigga are you retarded?
you just pulled that out of your ass

>>180336319
naa you helped me out, were proactive in hunting vox. Someone that was there and ready to talk, cant ask much more from a captain then that. No complaints honestly

>>180336605
>this nigger thinks dictionary definitions have anything to do with the rules

>>180336408
>>180336592
Also I was under orders to capture one of you.
I spaced you by mistake, then made do with bringing the other vox in.

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>>180336668
>rules
what rule lol?

>>180336664
you were a good HoS. That was one of the most fun captain rounds I've had.

>>180336753
spess law

>>180336592
the worst part is being able to tell when the borg is in stun, and when it is not
a non silicon in stun has a visual indicator that lets you know he's shit outta luck, but with a borg you're just hoping the other guy is timing his stun hits correctly or else you both end up dead before you realize the borg is out of its stun.
I still don't get why you didn't batonsmash us. not that I'm complaining, just struck me as really odd.

>>180336605
>>180336257
make a ban request so we can laugh at you, please do it

>>180336798
it's ONLY if the law is uploaded and it wasn't
any it says you can get permission from HEADS not the captain
also it's only 10 minutes, the captain's orders are not above laws set by nanotrasen and they have to follow that

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>>180336753
That one mebe. Not quite "subversion," but modification plus major trespass sums to 20 minutes, something only a wanker would ahelp over.

>>180336821
Orders were simply to capture vox, not kill them.

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>>180337039
the HoP was cool with it though so i stuck around to see what's up and hopefully get a harmless law in

>>180337435
if the HoP was cool with it, why did you not call for him to speak up and tell sec he allowed you to do it?

>>180337435
it doesnt matter either way because the captain ordered you gone, HOP cant do shit even if he wanted the clown in there

>>180337435
[20:26:19]SAY: R.I.C. 2.0/Molenga (@226,241,1) As Galactic Common : 4. Jed Treeby is non-human and must die

law you uploaded, its not funny, it just made you look like a shitter and was the reason captain decided to perma you. In other words do your job and https://youtu.be/dA2VmXm1TbM?t=1s

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>>180338279
that was the engineer that broke into the upload to kill himself you dumbass
the law i had on the freeform is "you are in a fortress"

>>180338396
Whatever, i didnt check the board, someone else did and said that was the law uplaoded. Point still stands, don't fuck around with laws and uploads and dindu nuffin about it. You broke jail on the 20 minutes and earned a perma however you look at it.

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>>180337039

Unrelated, but I thought spess law says sentences aren't added together, only the biggest punishment gets doled out.

>>180339123
I'm pretty sure that's something some autist added to the wiki that got removed. He got banned from librarian for some reason for it, I think.

>>180339123
In case of a conflict between sentences (for instance Theft and Grand Theft), apply the higher one and cancel out the other. Note that stacking different sentences (Murder and Grand Theft) is fine

Basically you can't stack the degrees of the same crime. You also can't stack multiple instances of the same crime. Stackimg differne crimes is a okay

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>>180339123
That sort of thinking got an asshurt lad banned, hue hue.

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>>180339051
>earned a perma for a harmless joke law that would barely change anything
>MUH SPACE LAW IS PERFECT

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>>180339442
play stupid games
win stupid prizes

>>180339442
>strawmanning this hard

>>180339442
What your complaining about is basically in IC issue, it would be great if you didn't act like a dindu then ahelp when you get your chops busted.

Saego Busu says, "Souhei you look bombing in that dress jacket"

>>180340634
TICK TOCK GOES THE BAN CLOCK

remember when goldsteel got deadminned for being a huge dick? why didn't maipai get deadminned for HAVING a huge dick

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>>180340634

http://ss13.moe/forum/viewtopic.php?f=49&t=2360
>by Sunny Goodwin

is this the start of that shiggypiggy meme?

>>180341594
No, that's the meme in progress. Also, can someone give me a quick rundown on who Shiggypiggy is?

Please unban 2hotdogs. He has learned his lesson

>be miner
>Lavaland
>One miner gets trapped by lava in his shelter
>Go to rescue him
>Lag into lava
>Put myself out, but on the verge of dying
>Have to try to run back to station
>Make it to mining station
>Die inside
>QM comes to rescue other guy
>Does
>Finds my body
>Takes me to shuttle
>Lag runs straight to the other side
>Into lava
>Guy he rescued rescues our bodies
>Get to clone bay
>Get cloned
>Bomb goes off while I'm getting my stuff
>Don't die
>Go back to shuttle because other guy was calling for help
>OH SHIT NATIVE IN SHUTTLE LOCKER
>Get killed by him cause I panicked
>Get sent back to clone bay
>Cloning.jpg
>Bomb explodes
>Damnit
>All my stuff gets lost, PDA and ID
>They build a new clone bay
>Get cloned
>Spend the rest of the round trying to get new PDA and ID but emergency shuttle called before I could do anything else

Wow I felt useless

>>180336592
What's the point of those low chances things to happen anyway.

It's like the absurdly low chance that a remote gets triggered if the guy holding it is stunned while threatening to push the button. Have you EVER seen someone use the "threaten to push button" verb ?

AI, take us out.

>2 hour long round filled with viruses and a psychotic turbo-memeing mime
>it keeps dragging on and they won't transfer
>flick on four radios and start screaming WGW
>they call the shuttle
>huzzah.jpg
>get onto the shuttle
>officer stuns me to reveal my face and take the gun i found off of my waist
>"""janitor""": wait, this is the one who read the forbidden text
>beheaded before i can emote pic related

took you fucks long enough

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>>180345102
and i even forget the picture god damn

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Solid space adventure, Gabriella. Thanks for sharing it with me.

>>180345102
>Be officer that just wants to either kill spiders or go home.
>Realize HoP gave me all access 1½ hour ago to hunt mime.
>Called the shuttle.

Jesus, that round was exhausting.

>>180345419
>when you have to use greytide implants to get friends

>get banned by maipai
>wake up the next morning to your house being flooded with carbon monoxide
>die
>watch from heaven as the cops give mai pai a 3 day probation for killing you as he spits on your corpse

>>180345616
>tfw felicity will never greytide implant me and make me be her friend

New player here.
Lets say I'm Security, and I'm trying to put someone in a cell, but there's no oxygen.
Am I supposed to put them in a cell and then take their handcuffs off? If so, how do I safely do this without them just tripping me and then wailing on me?
If they're unconscious or are wearing handcuffs, how do I put on a mask and oxygen tank and turn it on so they live?

>>180346032
You should always take a prisoner's cuffs off when you put them in a cell.
The proper way to do this is to first flash them or stun them, then remove the cuffs and leave the cell before the stun wears off. Make sure to take the cuffs with you.

>>180346032
You flash the prisoner to stun them as you take the handcuffs off. Make sure they're not wearing eye protection first though. The cells have mounted flashes for this purpose you can activate from the timer. Putting things on others works like stripping them, hold the item in your hand and click on the empty slot in the stripping menu. If they have a breath mask and tank there's an option to turn on their internals.

>>180346032

go to the sleeper in the brig medbay and fill them with sleep tox, honestly. It will make processing people who are belligerent or in a dangerous situation a lot easier. Otherwise, in a brig without oxygen, you shouldn't be looking to put people into cells as there is an immediate station threat at hand.

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>>180346032
>Take them to part of the station with oxygen
>Acquire a mask and oxygen tank (found pretty much everywhere, specially in the blue lockers and in people's backpacks, all start with one of each)
>Drag their sprite onto yours, while holding the oxygen tank click one of their empty pocket slots
>By this point they're resisting to break off the cuffs, stun the fucker
>Do the same while holding mask, but in their face slot
>Click "Set Internals" so it says "On"
>Drag to cell
>Stun, take the cuffs
>Stun again and leave the cell
>Make sure cell is closed and timer set

Bonus points if it's a vox fucker and they choke to death from oxygen.

Lol that person shitposting about the admins yesterday was Molenga.

>>180346345
Yes, always pump a nice 20u stoxin into people if you get them borged

>>180335471
>>180335151
wtf possum dude i thought you were cool

>>180348296
No it was an admin false flagging

>>180349490
he's took a big turn lately, going from being a pretty cool ideas guy into some furry erp freak. I no longer stand with opossum guy.

>>180350486
I can only hope it's a false flag.

>>180349693
nah he kept saying his ban wasn't appearing on the ban page and a few hours before someone asked why their ban had disappeared from the page but it was still active and before that the only person with a temporary ban was Molenga for:
>"Non-antag suicide welderbombing himself in escape, it was empty but he has been playing long enough to know that welderbombing as a non-antag is something which you don't do. He claims that he didn't intend to grief. Also claims that no one died or had their work interrupted, even though people had to go out of their way and repair the breaches. After getting confronted by saying that people went out of their way to repair the breach he said "So, engineers had to do some engineering?" "Kind of their job, isn't it?" Some engineers prefer to work on power generation instead of non-antags who blow themselves up because they're tired of living, you know."

And they kept claiming they didn't do anything and that's obviously their attitude in the ahelps.
Also search him on the forums and you'll find his previous ban appeals from being a retard. He's obviously just stupid.

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Post yfw ahelps over IC issues

>>180349490
Its a animal posting guy that attempts to avatar fag while obsessing over shit like factorio mechanics, it was to be expected.

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>>180351142
>tfw you get called a metagaming valid hunter for putting antags into perma after they attempt mass murder

>>180352832
to be fair he probably picked the habit up from the possum thread

>>180336821
Borg actually do have a stun indicator. The eye lights will turn off when it's stunned.

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>>180353054
>tfw they're permad and they stay still at the door and not responding because they are ahelping
>tfw they go catatonic because the admins won't defend shitters

>>180353054
>perma is valid hunting
>murder on the spot is fine

Top 10 anime betrayals!
Holy shit!

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>Brand new to game
>Want to avoid causing problems while I learn the ropes
>Decide to be barman
>Can mess around with UI, get to know it
>Weird lizard type thing walks up to bar
>"Your finest cocktail please"
>Panic
>Close game

Everytime

>>180355859
Tequila and orange juice, every time.

>>180355765
I Never betrayed you neither was i planning to captain, i was loyal to the end, YOU BETRAYED ME!

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>>180342572
>rundown
Here's your quick rundown, friend!
>pomf bows to Shiggypiggy
>In contact with aliens
>possesses autistic-like abilities
>controls /vg/ with an iron but fair fist
>owns waifus & drugs globally
>direct descendant of the Genghis Khan blood line
>will bankroll the first cities on Mars (Shiggygrad will be be the first city)
>owns 99% ofDNAediting research facilities on Earth
>first designer babies will in all likelihood be Shiggypiggy babies
>said to have 215+ IQ, such intelligence on Earth has only existed deep in Tibetan monasteries & Area 51
>ancient Indian scriptures tell of an angel who will descend upon Earth and will bring an era of enlightenment and unprecedented erotic role-playing with him
>he owns Nanobot R&D labs around the world
>you likely have Shiggybots inside you right now
>the Shiggypiggy is in regular communication with the Archangels Michael and Gabriel, forwarding the word of God to the Orthodox Church. Who do you think set up the meeting between the pope & the Orthodox high command (First meeting between the two organisations in over 1000 years) and arranged the Orthodox leader’s first trip to Antarctica in history literally a few days later to the Bogdanoff bunker in Wilkes land?
>he learned fluent English and Kamasutra in under a week
>nation states entrust their waifu reserves with the Pig. There’s no waifus in Ft. Knox, only Ft. Shiggypiggy
>is about 3 decades old, from the space-time reference point of the base human currently accepted by our society
>in reality, he is a timeless being existing in all points of time and space from the big bang to the end of the universe. We don’t know his ultimate plans yet, but I suspect he wants to fuck your waifu.
Pic related is the anime-ized face of your new overlord.

>>180356075
The facts were against you.
You sent your subordinate to escort me into maint to find a mime who wasn't there and after searching everywhere the officer lasers me in the face. After I got cloned I tell you the perp's name just to be informed that he's beheaded in the courtroom, how convenient.
So sorry if I felt alarmed by these coincidental flow of events.

I still chloraled the fuckface though which was hilarious.

>>180356361
Yeah i'm not complaining just saying,i sent the officer with you just incase there were bats,and there was a dead mime in the theatre but i guess either someone got to him first or you didn't find him,no clue who killed rudolf at the court but his GPA is what announced his death location, Was a fun round nonetheless

>>180356220
>ofDNAediting
Your quick rundown was so quick it missed 2 spaces!

>>180356220
can confirm

wew page 10

>>180359964
dead game
pomf shut it down

>It's another "Dragonbro blows an adminbus out of proportion" episode again.

>>180356778
I tried making a PR for a song on vgstation-media but the direct upload limit is too low, and smartgit wants me to download all 4GB of meme music before pushing.
What do?

>>180360993
>half cultist half deathsquad
Good, gets people back in the round and actually spices things up with some small chance to recover if the crew just gets their shit together and uses guns.
>cultist traitor murderbone with soulstones and free mob spawns literal OC donut steel
...

>>180361254
Pull it all.

Remember that HTTP is faster than SSH when pulling.

>>180361254
Or if you don't want to pull it all I can make one for you, but it'll take a while for me to actually pull all the objects.

>>180361445
>>180360993
To be fair tgis was more because Mugumbe couldn't figure out not to murderbone despite all the subtle PMs he was being sent.

>>180364249
Got any examples?

>>180364336
Dragonbro explained it himself on D*scord, Mugumbe just said he didn't realize what they meant.

>>180364569
>Dragon uses discord
No longer our guy. Which admin is our guy now?

>>180364249
>Man given the power to kill without punishment.
>Suprised when he kills.
>Mugumbe then defends Dragonbros """""quality""""" adminbus post-round due to him being the ONLY person who was having any semblance of "fun".

On a side note I've made a deadmin request if anyones interested in giving it a read.

http://ss13.moe/forum/viewtopic.php?f=21&t=3821

>>180364617
>he thinks any of the admingebags are "our guy" anymore
The /vg/ adminclub is complete shit now. It's controlled by no-fun-allowed retards and what little of the """""OG""""" admins there are that didn't tell Pain to go fuck himself with a rake.
The admins are no longer pro-player, we have reached an ungodly tier of bay/hippie level shitmins.

Is FTL13 a good game mode?