/ss13g/ spessmen general

First for healslutting.

Run Fukimatoito or whatever the fuck his name is is now on CM. I just came here to say TAKE HIM BACK NOW. NOOOOWWW.

>>179974418
Another reason to not go back on CM

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>>179974512
>tfw reading CM ban appeals
I guess running those kinds of servers brings out the worst in admins

>>179974798
Tbh the admins are kinda shitty, but they deal with absolute retards on a hourly basis so I don't blame em too much. I heard Apop stile money from someone though. Anyone know that story?

>>179974418
nah fuck you
enjoy the bolt action machineguns and transsexual autism dylan, yuh earn'd it

>>179974918
Stole*

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Remember. This is not human, it is space trash. Just space it.

>>179974512
The best way to make sure you don't get the bright idea to revisit a shitty server is to get yourself good and permabannu'd.

>>179974973
Who the fuck is Dylan?

>>179975120
The tomboy of Charlie's Angels

>>179975058
hair on slimepeople back when? they used to have hair.

>>179975261
sprite some

>>179975295
why the fuck do i need to sprite something that's already been sprited

i used slime tox in 2013 and back then slime race had hair

>>179975450
human hairstyles and an overlay because mutantrace, slime people are their own branch now

16th for Brian Bell he pumps in and out of the xenos ass

>>179975261
>>179975295
Just steal citadel/tg slimepeople hair.

>Goldsteel is Dee Fibb

>>179975120
I don't know I just assume that every chump that toddles in here wanting to talk about CM is either eenkogneeto or dylanstrategie

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>lifeweb source code isn't leaked yet

>>179976232
Soon

What was the last not-fucked-up version of byond?

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>>179974973
>>179975120
>some autist shares a name with me
>possible waifu fag

>>179976232
>>lifeweb
spoopy 2deep4me version of space station 13, right? or was it just SS13 with a reskin?

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How can Box and Deff be improved?

I think Bagel's excellent botany left the old standby stations in the dust, and Lord knows that Box's perma needs an update.

>>179978213
But perma on box isn't bad, except from the botany spot with windows where everyone gets out

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I didn't get to finish it, but at least I got a neat screenshot

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How do I be a good chef?

>>179978938
you did pretty good.
maybe in the future try to redecorate and go with a theme, but all in all you did pretty solid and I can't complain.

>>179978938
make everything

>>179978938
Have at least 30 food items on the table by the time everyone gets the yellow hunger icon

Accept death when mice begin storming the kitchen and nibbling everything

>Joined as Traitor-curity.
>Didn't even know that could happen.
>Objective is to steal HoS jumpsuit.
>Carp eats HoS's office and spaces the spare suit.
>While hunting carps I find the fucking suit stuck in a solarpanel.
>Went back and solo raided Cargo.
>No one got hurt during the raid.
>Warden and I was on our way to the shuttle.
>Managed to break off of him on the way there and ran to a pod instead (I have irrational shuttle fear).
>Sit in the pod with the Jumpsuit and a DNA scrambler.
>The relief!

I loved every second of that round, good job guys.

>>179979040
>accept death
>not just dispensing it with your projectile cleaver / hatchet
you can throw it at mice hiding under tables to hit them, and the hatchet is an instakill if thrown.

>>179979097
You only missed out on BEANS AND CORNBREAD on the shuttle.

>>179979117
They respawn indefinitely.

Have fun chasing them off for the rest of the round.

>>179979097
that's nice and all anon, but you hardly antagonized. If I was you I would've killed the surrendering QM, planted a gun on him, and told sec that he tried to attack me first. ah well, to each his own I guess

>>179979169
they respawn on a timer. you have a projectile that one shot kills them at incredible range, that can be thrown an infinite number of times with ease, and hits them even while they are hiding (use right click if they're hiding too far away for an alt-click, then throw at their location).

>tator AI
>no Borgs
>don't want to blasma
>play it completely normal for a while until a traitor gets caught and I let them out of the brig when the warden looks away
>fuck with pressure where my target is, in cargo
>try to blow their ame but it is off of my cameras
>changed to NT Default
>use this as an excuse to super pressurize cargo for cutting a camera
>kill every cargo tech win zas except for the qm who buckles in
>wait for mommi to build rust so I can sabotage it
>he never finished it
Pretty good round, sorry for dragging it out or whatever but late night lowpop is the best anyway.

>>179979467
Being there as my second ever real round was pretty confusing, and I ended up dying with your target in a pressurized maintenance hallway, spent the rest of the round comfy and boozed up in the bar tho - overall a good intro to the game.

>>179979467
That was pretty good, a few ghosts were watching them get slam jammed and realized pressure was at something like 900k.

>>179979467
>Ai tells me it turned cargo's atmosphere into a pressure.
>I ask the AI why it would do that
>"they cut some cameras in cargo and I'm on NT default"
this is such typical behavior on NT default that it doesn't even strike me as being a malicious AI. is overpressurizing rooms station harm? no one ever has a consistent view of what constitutes as station harm so I don't even question it anymore.

>>179979224
Yeah, I know, I'm a shaking coward when I antagonize.

>>179979164
That actually sounds decent now when I'm superhungry.

>>179979782
If you don't define it in additional laws the AI gets to define what it is to a large degree. That's one of several reasons why NT Default isn't the "safe" lawset some treat it as.

>>179977154
dylan was an old codermin of ours that would jerk off to the station getting blown up by explosive giant meaty whores. we made fun of his shit code and station destrucion fetish until he eventually left us for CM.

>>179980248
>left us
More like expelled.

>playing shitserver
>faggot LOOC icks "we have clock cult"
>hauls me off for vandalism
>after finding me afk in maint
>for the price of 3 more minutes of afking I can now go hunt for the cult to join them thanks to loose lips

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*blocks your path*

>>179980872
;REVS

>>179979097
There was a traitor that round? Man, I was the Cargo Tech who ripped up the bar, acted shifty as fuck, and eventually stole the nuke. You wasted a huge opportunity to do stuff to people. Shit man, you didn't even take my limbs as punishment for crime or anything.

thinking about joining today, i've been considering it for a while but never got around to reinstalling byond and shit.

time to work out how to self host so I don't accidently the station when I do join.

>>179981294
To be honest, I'm very VERY unrobust, basicly Mall-cop. The fact that I killed +5 carps in space and survived is groundbreaking to me.

>>179981998
Good luck anon
I believe in you

>examine a person
>WHO. IS. THAT. GIRL?

>>179982246
flavour text will never again be merged

>>179982305
>admins don't want the server to become nox
>remove RP elements

??????

haha 6am pomf
>>179982305
they removed flavor text?

Can Beepsky be flashed?

>>179982478
no beepsky is not a cyborg but a robot.

>>179982369
it was never an RP feature, people just used it to spam their epiccc meme text xD

>>179982516
Or codewise, he's an /obj/machinery/bot/, not a /mob/living/silicon/.

>>179981998
Just play on the test server, no need to fuck around with self hosting.

>>179980872
/me unzips the energy gun

lockers OP

>decoy balloon to lure the Columbine podster to my closet
>subverted mommi charges in as proxy
>somehow get a clumsy slow flash crowbar powercell off on it
>it was busy smacking the balloon
thank bob for decoys

>>179984829
Poor diona, I actually felt sad for you.

>>179984873
>had a box full of power cells in my bag
>just pop one back in
>he thanks me and skitters off
>gets blown up by prox sensor grenade I set as a trap for you
You should have joined the shuttle party.

>>179985724
Doors were electrified, I was in shock stun until the shuttle left so I monkied myself

>>179985068
I think that was me you lockered actually, not that anon, was there a rash of lockerings that round?

>Rin shitting up all the little servers
Take him back for fuck sake

@179986154
>take him back
t. rin

>>179986154
no, they belong on hippe/tg, not here.

>>179986154
If those little servers are any decent he'll be banned soon.

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>someone PDA'd me asking to ERP
>think they're alright but don't really want to textfuck at the moment
How do I let them down gently?

>>179986998
suicide succumb

>>179985986
I didn't lock anyone that round, I was the Botanist Mime that planted him.

>>179977241
Ss13 pedophile raping simulator senpai

>>179987087
I should have.
>just chilling in the bar playing piano tuunes for BGM while I do other things
>suddenly trapped alone with them
>Faggot reaches out to hold Anon's hand.
>Faggot takes hold of Anon's hand.

Antag win rates as determined by the stats page

Traitor - 46%
Double Agents - 63%
Changeling - 28%
TraitorChan - 22%
Wizard - 32%
Ragin Mages - 18%
Cult - 34%
Vampire - 35%
AL Malf - 40%
Nuke Ops - 49%
Revs - 75%
Revsquad - 60%
Blob - 61%

I've never played before. What's the absolute best job for noobs? I've read the wiki.

>>179990079
Assistant, ask around as to how to know stuff works for departments, just say you are new and that you want to be taught how stuff works, people usually help you out.

Learning is half the fun in ss13 and fucking up is the other half, don't be afraid to make mistakes, just go and join a shift.

>>179990079
Here's advice from a professional player:
Do not open those red doors. They lead to space.

>>179990079
READ THE RULES

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>>179990079
When you set your job preferences, make sure you click on this button to change it to something that's not "get random job." Otherwise you could get stuck with something you don't want if you join at roundstart.

>>179990079
Assistant.
Hack ALL the things.
You'll probably get brigged or otherwise killed so do it for a number of rounds.

>>179990079
Janitor

>>179990415
I'm just going to do this so I can get a hang of the controls and the station layout. I won't be bullied for being a useless piece of shit will I?

>>179975295
>>179975523
I don't see why we can't just use skrell hairstyles.

>>179976178
how fucking new are you

>>179990679
No but you will be bullied for breaking into shit.
Just go catatonic (command is "ghost") if you get brigged and float around in ghost exploring the map.

>>179990679
Assistants are known as greyshits due to the best players eventually getting tired of having a job and just fucking about as assistants with no responsabilities or need to listen to anyone, but if you show yourself to be new and not to be a lazy door hacking piece of shit, no, you wont get bullied, youl be useless but every assistant is until they go and offer help, which you will due to wanting to learn the game and all.

>die randomly
>faggot that wants to ERP with me clones me
>get only a power and no disability from cloning
>they try feeding me the power killing pill
>move away
>they trip me and force feed me it
>run away
>they act all sad like this is some IC issue that and not them being retarded

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>Byond is now ransom-ware
cant even shitpost in spess

>>179992165
>malwarebytes

>>179992165
>What are false positives

>>179992331
>>179992429
t. lummox

UNINSTALL BYOND NOW

>>179992331
explain to me what's wrong with malwarebytes?
surely you don't pay for protection, do you?

>>179992509
I do

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I unironically like his art, I hope he continues to draw more

>>179992165
Full name?

>>179993243
how did you respond?

>>179993243
Seeing this in my PDA Messages would make me want to space myself
MY ONLY LOVE IS FOR ISABELLA

>>179990469
Reminder to always use WATER and NOTHING ELSE when cleaning as janitor.

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>>179993285
I came back to catch the shuttle and they didn't even notice, I also dragged their AFK body onto the shuttle just as it was taking off.
>high levels of RP

>>179993285
>kys

>>179993645
Reminder that if you don't even try to get ammonia or space cleaner I will arrest you and brig you for ten minutes.

If you do your job to griff, so will I.

>>179993891
why would I do that if I still have my handy soap bar

Is anyone playing right now?

>>179994301
No.

>>179992509
No, I almost always steal condoms.

>>179989883
so ling, wizs and vamps need buffs?
what about vox raiders?

>>179995552
Raiders isn't tracked. One more reason to remove it.

>>179986154
Rin was a refugee in the first place

>>179995552
a wiz can anally annihilate the station and ignore his objectives and it will count as a loss

>>179995879
Nice to slander a good player with no proof

>>179995952
they came to /vg/ because they were banned from /tg/ and yog.
they wouldn't have ever came here if that didn't happen

>>179993891
>how to get a sec ban

>>179986154
>take him back
What, you think we want him? He isn't even one of ours, he was a banned faggot from TG. Go bitch on l*ddit about it.

>>179996041
We've been getting all the tg/yog/hippie rejects for a while now. It's awful. Now we have people like this >>179993891
>if you don't play the game the same way I like everyround I griff/brig you

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>tfw no good looking clothes sprites

>>179996949
>tfw no good looking sprites

>>179995952
they were very forthcoming with their server history in the discord

>>179996141
>>179996142
>TG and yog
They ban everyone they dont like
Rin was unfairly banned their same as here

>>179989883

>Cult - 34%

FUCKING CULT I'm tired of their stupid fucking edgelord victory march where I can't even robust narsie they fucking win way too much REMOVE CULT and merge the non SHIT features with rev

>>179998845
what non shit features?

>>179995552
This is based on greentext, not how much they do. Vamps do jack shit all game and usually afk, get sucked by space, or get sucked by aliums/blob/meteors before someone calls the shuttle 16 hours in. Wiz's usually get wrecked in the moment they join or die at the last second. Lings same as Vamp but with more of a justification to fail "steal this thing" objectives.

>179998597
nice b8 m8

top bans of 2017
1. Pootismaniac
2. Carshalash
3. Digitalis
4. Mikecari
5. Pvak
6. Renovama
7. Mrflarg
8. Jewishcupboard
9. Sordine

Admin hypershitter deathblow high scores.
3 points
>Pain
1 point
>Zealo
>Mr Foster
>Sacredatom
>Publicenemymaipai
>Errantaron
>probe

>>179980248
>giant meaty whores
Explain

>>179999471
say meaty whores 10 times fast

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>non antag murder of doc as HoS because he thought dex+ was poison

>>179999809
hos should be locked behind significant play time

>>179999932
I'm almost wondering if HoS shouldn't be whitelisted

>>180000000

>>180000004
>making it harder for the few people who play security to play hos
If the hos is a shitter admins will ban them fast, most admins hate sec anyway because of our hippie/greytider culture

more shit should be locked by playime
>service/civilian/cargo = avaiable from start
>science = 1 day
>medbay = 3 days
>enginnering = 5 days
>security = 7 days
>sillycons = 8 days
>head roles = 9 days
>captain/AI = 10 days

>>180000281
Only silicons should be behind playtime. And only because newfags seem to have trouble grasping you are a slave to your laws, they aren't a guide-line.

>>180000570
them you get security officers that go around doing dumbshit like arresting peoples for having busta-nuts in their bags
them you get doctors that throw peoples into cryo with nothing on it, or don't understand how morgue lights work
them you get enginners that loose the goose at 10 minutes
them you get captains that go braindead at 12:10
them you get 5 scientists on science but none of them do a single research

implement paradise's karma system
put it on silicons or whatever else job causes asshurt

>>180000842
How does one measure playtime?

>>179989883
>Revs - 75%
And people cry that blobs are OP

>>180000848
>metaclub liking each other

>>179989883

We really need to merge vampire and changeling into the thing

>>180001351
Well, they still are. It's just that a lot of blobs don't realise or don't factor in the AI. AI (and maybe all borgs?) gets the nuke code when the blob reaches a certain size which can mean an instant win for the AI.

>>180000848
how does the system work?

wiz should be removed or combined with other game modes, its a retarded mode that does nothing to take advantage of the strengths of the game. Blob should be nerfed slightly, traitor is perfect, cult is fine, vamp and ling need a slight buff to their early game

I cant tell if people here are so retarded they actually mean what they post or if they are shitposting.

>>180001767
UNLESS DRAGONBRO IS PLAYING

>>179995552
Vamps and lings usually have four objectives: Blood/genes, assassinate, steal, escape. Most of the losses that aren't from getting killed by the crew, are vamp/lings hitting 3/4 objectives.
Wizards just tend to get caught up in causing destruction or making constructs or whatever magical bullshit they're doing. And just completely forget to accomplish their objective. Or in the case of Ragin' can't find their objective because the previous wizard wrecked the station.

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Space Station Corporate Mercenary is starting another alpha test if anyone is interested
byond://mercdonalds.org:64000

Polaris Wizard without the ebin 'its totally not magic guise' shit when

>>180001791
other people gift you karma points
and then you can unlock jobs and roles

>>180003259
What the fuck is this shit

>>180002080
>slightly

>>180003558
atm, like CM but less RP and restrictions. Though it is quite unpolished

>>180003775
so just TDM in space?
why not play an actual good game.

>>180003348
dude metaclub lmao

You might be a shitter if you create false walls out of perma at roundstart as nonantag.

>>180004623
>not doing this and stashing a hardsuit there as well, starting as engineer for glubs, hardsuits, and easy singuloose

Haha hey guys, post things that make you LOL out loud!
Remember when Zealotron metagamed and people posted proof of it and he got unbanned almost immediately anyways? Hehehe that was so funny!
Or back when Xevonix tried to get someone banned by saying something not being logged was an exploit, then it turned out Xevonix himself had been surreptitiously abusing actual exploits for months to get meta information and never reported the bug he was using so it wouldn't get patched? He didn't even get a warning! Hilarious!
R.o.f.l. (short for Rolling Over Floor Laughter) I just remembered another funny one. You know how you need to be 18 to be an admin?

So, space cleaner for halls/priority areas (sec,medbay,command) mop+water for low priority areas (bar,cargo,service)? Keeps important areas slip free while letting me janitor it up with the mop still.

You might be a shitter if you set the set the AI on Robocop first thing

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You might be a shitter if you know where the cat ears spawn on each map

>>180004928
LOL, or how niggly/shiggy ushered in an age of shitty waifus?! LOL?!

>>180004928
Remember that time they put a turboshitter who once plasmaflooded the brig as a non-antag and only got a 3 day ban as a trial admin?

Remember that time they kept Dr "i'm going to be a spiteful and spontaneous shitmonkey for no reason" celt on as admin?

Remember that time half the admin team is, as per usual for SS13, utter garbage? I do.

>>180004939
nah, just chuck space cleaner in your mop bucket and use it to mop everywhere
it's more economic this way and peoples will not slip even if you mop shit

>>180005078
Hihihi that gives me the jollies!

>>180005192
Yeah but you don't get the satisfaction of pointing to a sign when someone inevitably slips. At least with low priority areas you're not letting someone escape persuit or something

You might be a shitter if you carry chloral as an assistant

>>180005416
>might

>>180005416
It's not about how hard you powergay.
It's about how hard you tide, and in part, how hard you validhunt.

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You might be a shitter if you can make mindbreaker without checking the wiki

>>180005568
>he hasn't unlocked the chemmaster secret menu

You might be a shitter if you break the windoors on the trader shuttle when it's left unattended

>>180004939
>not using the instant clean soap

You might be a shitter if the first thing you make and take as non-antag is a rape pill and an autoinjector

>>180006013
The rape pill is unnecessary, I'd rather make a tricky pricky and lube.

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You might be a shitter if you have ever hidden buttbots with radios when you weren't a clown

You might be a shitter if you start trying to hack into HoP's office for the console at roundstart.

You might be a shitter if you ahelp every single time you die.

You might be a shitter if you think the gamemode being wizard makes you immune to space law.

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You might be a shitter if you get insulateds at roundstart as security

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This entire shitfest reminded me of the direct intervention chapter in hl2:ep1. If the core opened a portal to narsie's realm instead of just melting down.

You might be a shitter if you sit in the bathroom holding a bucket.

So i just reinstalled byond on my new computer, and now all the text for the menus and whatnot is so tiny I can barely see it. How the hell do I fix it? It's not linked to the chat window's text size as far as I can tell, it affects literally all the text in the game window, including the menus.

>>180006772
thank fuck that someone saved scrennshots of the event, because I totally forgot to. fun bus, and good choice in music too.

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>>180006772

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Where were going we don't need eyes to see

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>>180006772
MAKE US WHOLE

Was anyone in that game just now with the R-UST?

>>180003259
>only xeno in the game
>still manage to kill all humans with the help of an AI controlled xeno queen
woah, why is everyone so fucking unrobust?

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>>180006917
Forgot to attach the picture. If it looks tiny, that's because it is.

>>180006947
Holy fuck that AI voice was intense.

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You might be a shitter if you wear a tool belt as IAA

>>180007252
that wasn't an AI voice, that was a song from the game Space Funeral if we are thinking of the same thing.

You might be a shitter if you try to loophole your way out of every order given when you're on Asimov.

reminder that VG is a LOW RP server
reminder that if you have ever used emotes, /me, or talked at length about something instead of playing the game, you need to fuck off and stop ruining VG with your baybie bullshit

>vampstended

>>180007375
Probably I mean that voice over

>>180007384
You might be a shitter if you turn off power, bolt doors, notify security, and disable your intercom when someone law2s into your core

>>179998597
>unfairly banned
>spent every single round arming themselves and searching for antags regardless of roles.

>>180007504
How do you manage to mistype TG as VG twice?

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>>180007504
You DEFINITELY might be a shitter if you unironically believe something like this.

>>180007106
So does anybody at all know how to fix this? Changing my computer's resolution isn't working at all.

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You might be a shitter if you stomp on nice little borers

>>180007875
There should be a menu in the top right that could fix it, not sure otherwise

>>180007958
You might be a shitter if you spawn in Xenobio and don't set up the borer egg for later

Or worse, EAT the egg at round start

You might be a shitter if you know the telesci coordinates of the retrolaser on the abandoned ship, before offsets.

>>180007981
Which menu? I don't see any up there. See the screenshot at >>180007106

You might be a shitter if you chloral and dispose people the instant they set foot into Medbay.

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Thank you friends, I would like to thank MoMMI 175 and MoMMI 170 for helping me through this journey of autism

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You might be a shitter if you take the antique laser at round start as captain.

>>180007958
>Let borer live
>He purposefully seeks out the antags/serial powergamers
>He talks shit about me in borer talk because I didn't let him earfuck me
>He crashes the server by spamming the stupid hookshot
Yeah no

>>180008175
Anyone? I don't plan on playing this game with the help of a magnifying glass here.

>>180008175
Top left, the tab that says client, might be in there.

I'd help more but I'm at work, no time to stop

So why do we not instantly ban people for metacomms when they show up, 3 at a time simultaneously, 30 minutes into the round as tangentially related jobs?

It's fucking clear they're chatting over skype or something

>>179978864
what is this? I've never seen it before

You might be a shitter if you wear a security belt as HoP

>>180009213
Nothing at all. Gives options for screenshots and reconnecting, but nothing else. I noticed that BYOND's window starts small when it first boots up and when I'm connecting, could they be connected?

>>180009321
We have two admins that literally metagamed.

>>180009321
did you a h e l p it?

You might be a shitter if you are the chief engineer and you can't set up a decent SME

>>180008283
Someone explain this plz

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You might be a shitter if you leave the brig during non-emergencies as Warden

>>180005416
>might
If you carry
zipties
chloral autoinjector
taser or any armoury raid shit
as a nonantag, non sec
you are a hippy faggot and need to end your life

>>180010130
>might
it's a reference to Jeff Foxworthy's stand-up comedy bit 'You might be a redneck if...'
by might we mean definitely

>>180007639
>you might be a shitter if you are Littlebro

>>180009457
I'd say either check that settings option in the top left or back out and check the BYOND hub's settings.

I don't know mang, never touched my settings and our looks fine, you sure you're not playing this on your TV?

You might be a shitter if you steal the weapons off of sec personnel chasing you as a non-antag.

>>180011021
>chasing
deserved it

>>180010767
Absolutely. For some reason, it all works just fine on my old computer despite having what I'm almost positive are the same settings. It makes no sense at all.

>>180011345
>heh, trying to stop me from being a greytiding shitter?
>looks like you DESERVE to get shot to death with your own weapon, heh
>*readjusts fedora*
>better luck next shift, kiddo :)

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>>180011021
>sec wants to search me on code green
>respectfully decline and go on my way
>of course the donut eater unzips a taser
>slip and taze he with his own gun
>take away his ID and chuck em in maint

>>180010767
And the settings option had absolutely nothing helpful in it, so now I'm pissed because at this rate I won't be able to play again without making myself go blind.

>>180011021
you might be a shitter if you never use a hailer

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>>180010472

>>180011515
t. shitter who deserves a good borging

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>>180011515
>Crime: Suspicious Behavior
>Sentence: Immediate Search
Follow the fucking law
You have now gotten assault on an officer, theft, sparking a manhunt
congratulate

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You might be a shitter if you play science and always dodge RnD

>>180011935
Code green, faggot. Raise it up to blue if you want to search people.

>>180012056
>being suspicious is a crime

Are you retarded?

>>180012158
I have done research well over a thousand times
fuck off

>>180012056
Everyone playing SS13 is suspicious.

>>180012056
>suspicous behavior
they have to actually be suspicious though

>>180012206
You might be a shitter if you try to excuse your shitter behavior with "well, it's code green."

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>>180012206

>>180012345
You might be a retard shitter who thinks he is the law if you think you can ignore the code status just because he wants to catch crooks

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>>180012206
>He hasn't read space law
>>180012257
>>180012297
I have no information about the situation but I will take the officers side here because anyone willing to instantly slip and take someones shit is very likely to be acting like a suspicious cunt

>>180011515
>be miner delivering materials to science
>cap in hardsuit wordlessly tasecuffs me outside bridge because "hurr you had bloody shoes and we're dragging a locker"
>bitch at him that it's fucking code green
>uncuffs
>runs into bridge, sets code blue
>runs out and tases me again
Fuck you mikecari

You might be a shitter if you don't make an effort to avoid large artifacts as Miner when there are xenoarchs on the manifest

>>180012206
t.greyshitter

>>180012474
>anyone willing to instantly slip and take someones shit is very likely to be acting like a suspicious cunt
Yeah, fair enough.

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>>180012476

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>>180012476
>>bitch at him that it's fucking code green
>>uncuffs
>>runs into bridge, sets code blue
>>runs out and tases me again
cari getting b& was more than justified and raised the average IQ by no small amount

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>>180012476
kek that guy was the biggest faggot ever
so much worse than even Rin or Digitalis
>tfw I helped get him banned

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>>180012345
>>180012407
>>180012474
>you still have to raise the alert level if you want to search

If you want to be shitcurity I'll defend my rights as a space man

>>180004928
remember when zealotron was shitposting in le thread but actidentally put his shitpost in le ahelp and everyone was like wtf?? but then he said haha my mistake and it wasn't me shinposting :( but it was morena and morena is a guy in irl but said she was a she and not a he O-O then got banned by mrpain for not doing furry erp

makes me kek out loud every time i 'member

>>180012468
So you're admitting to being a crook then with your suspicious-acting, officer-assaulting, taser-stealing, ID-stealing ways, turboshitter?

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>>180012742
>>you still have to raise the alert level if you want to search
Literally where are you getting this info from
Random searches are only allowed on code blue and up, but searches for suspicious behaviour are always allowed because it's a sentence for a crime
READ THE LAW

>>180012761
I wasn't him, im just chipping in. I play a mostly non criminal greyshit that always accepts searches, so no, Im not admiting to being what Im not anon.

>>180012476
his IC baneposting and memespeak pissed me off more than his griff and abuse of power

You might be a shitter if you don't play the game how I want to

>>180012862
You might be a shitter if you defend your behavior with the age old "i'm playing the game the way i want to play, don't tell me how to have fun" excuse.

>>180012842
>searches for suspicious behaviour are always allowed because it's a sentence for a crime

So you can search anyone anytime?

Playing sec has suddendly become interesting. Reading >>180012407 , everyone in the server is inflicting at least one of these """crimes""" after all!

>>180012345
>>180012407
>>180012474
>Search them IF THEY GO OVER THE LINE
>IF THEY GO OVER THE LINE
ITT people with no reading comprehension

Frequent sec player, you are shitcurity. You do not random search on green, period, there is a reason it says you can on blue. You do not random search on blue, that's being shitcurity, you should have some specific reason to based on context. You DO random search on red.

Stop being shitcurity. Read the wiki. Play the game for five minutes without getting bwoinked.

You might be a shitter if you gibonite the vox outpost

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>>180013184

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>>180013115
>So you can search anyone anytime?
No, you can search anyone being suspicious at any time. You can theoretically search anyone at anytime if you get a heads authorization, ie a warrant signed or stamped by them. Most of the time, you have no time to search every tom dick and harry.
>>180013165
>Frequent sec player, you are shitcurity. You do not random search on green, period, there is a reason it says you can on blue. You do not random search on blue, that's being shitcurity, you should have some specific reason to based on context. You DO random search on red.
Are you retarded
You're not only misreading space law, you're misinterpreting the parts that ask for a little common sense
No-one is saying random search on green
You search for suspicious behaviour if you have reason to believe you need to search them, ie someone stole something and this person looks like they might have stolen it
you random search on code blue if there is any need to, ie someone killed someone and you dont know who
fuck off nigger I can and will throw the book right up your gaping anus

>>180013165
Is being a greytiding little shit not "over the line?"

Is nothing "over the line" until someone's dead, something has been emagged, and something very important has been stolen and sabotaged and the culprit has gotten away clean?

>hurrdurr im a frequent sec player and i ONLY search when i see an egun
>t. someone who's probably a complete shitter when not playing shitcurity

>>180013115
I think he meant to say is you are allowed to do 'suspicous behavior searches' on code green
as in, it isn't locked behind an alert level

You might be a shitter if you steal consoles as a trader.

You might be an even bigger shitter if you try to get security personnel to help you when the person you stole shit from comes back for their stuff and a little extra.

>>180013165
>Frequent sec player
I don't believe you

>>180013512
The point is that everyone is suspicious.

>>180013619
>You might be an even bigger shitter if you try to get security personnel to help you when the person you stole shit from comes back for their stuff and a little extra
I doubt a trader has ever done that

>>180013658
I literally JUST fucking said that suspicious usually means that it's someone who's acting shifty/wearing the wrong shit/carrying too much shit right after something gets stolen or someone dies
context you stupid cuntwagon

>>179976178
Hi.

>>180013854
What matters is >>180012407 and not your fucking opinion

Everyone does at least one of those things

>>180013950
>Security is encouraged to keep an eye on crew members who follow some of those criteria and search them if they go over the line.
i.e two or more/one or more that is extra susp in the circumstances/released criminal doing one thing that would be just a bit odd normally but is fucking nono since they're just out of the gaol
Don't fucking try me cunt I'll HEEM you

>>180013371
>>180013380
>being a greytiding little shit
>being random searched on code blue or red
>dealing with a competent security officer
Things that >>180011515 is not doing.

>>180013371
>no-one is saying random search on green
Except (you) did, because anon is saying it's shit to random search on green. You are saying it's not. Is this really so hard to understand? Really?

>>180013380
>slippery slope
We didn't ask if you were a retard, but we do appreciate you telling us.

>>180013790
I've personally had a few traders scream for security's help when I get at them for stealing my shit right in front of me.

>>180014278
IT'S NOT A FUCKING RANDOM SEARCH IF IT IS FOR SUSPICIOUS BEHAVIOUR
RANDOM SEARCH WOULD BE BECAUSE YOU SPOTTED THEM AND DECIDED TO SEARCH THEM FOR NO REASON OTHER THAN THEY WERE THERE
DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THE WORD RANDOM MEANS

>>180014295
huh.
I've played a lot of trader and I have learned that the only time sec will side with traders is when the crew member is an antag and they can get their valids.
also I seldom steal shit, except for the money from the vault to fund gimmicks like a casino

>>180004928
>then it turned out Xevonix himself had been surreptitiously abusing actual exploits for months to get meta information and never reported the bug he was using so it wouldn't get patched?
elaborate?

>>180014635
>suspicious behavior is doing literally anything
You are shitcurity. Face it. Identify the problem so you can solve it.

>hacking machines for medbay to have more FREE drugs
>get arrested
>it's not/vg/
Is /vg/ just the only playable server with competent players?

>>180014929
>suspicious behavior is doing literally anything
WHAT REASON DO YOU HAVE TO NOT BE IN YOUR WORKPLACE DOING WORK AS YOU ARE BEING PAID TO BE DOING
WHY WOULD YOU BE TAILING PEOPLE
WHY WOULD YOU BE RUNNING AROUND IN MAINTENANCE INSTEAD OF FUCKING WORKING
YOU ARE AN EMPLOYEE
NOT A FUCKING TOURIST

>Code Red
you can random search
>Code Blue
you can random search
>Code Green
you can search someone if they are being suspicious (check the wiki for examples of legitimate suspicious behavior)

I have been here a while, and this is how it currently works on /vg/station

>>180015328
no u don't unberstand i played sec once and u should never search me EBER unless I kill someone xDDDD fug

>>180015303
>WHAT REASON DO YOU HAVE TO NOT BE IN YOUR WORKPLACE DOING WORK AS YOU ARE BEING PAID TO BE DOING
Socializing? There's bar, kitchen, etc. Also visiting other departments for requests, example robotics getting sulph acid from medbay early in the round.

>WHY WOULD YOU BE TAILING PEOPLE
Maybe you need to give something to someone, or ask them something important. Some people don't pay that much attention to the main channel.

>WHY WOULD YOU BE RUNNING AROUND IN MAINTENANCE INSTEAD OF FUCKING WORKING
>server chock full of validhunters and seriously asking this

>>180014892
There was a bug with telepathy where it showed the true name of somebody, so you could see through disguises using it. He had telepathy as a round start mutation every round.

>try to telepathically message my friend
>the message in the text box says a name that isn't my friend
>I now know my friend is dead and being impersonated by the other guy

>>180014295
It's a real shame that traders ever fuck with crew.
Traders should suck up to crew and kiss Security's ass. Anything less than that is counterproductive considering it's where they get their livelihood.
Traders and crew work in symbiosis and if traders want to steal they should accept the consequences

t. trader

Why is sec such a griefer magnet and how do we fix it?
>it can't be

>>180015303
chill your caps lock, you're going to have an anueirsm

>WHAT REASON DO YOU HAVE TO NOT BE IN YOUR WORKPLACE DOING WORK AS YOU ARE BEING PAID TO BE DOING
perhaps you are one of the many crew members without a real job.
>WHY WOULD YOU BE TAILING PEOPLE
this is a valid reason to search
>WHY WOULD YOU BE RUNNING AROUND IN MAINTENANCE INSTEAD OF FUCKING WORKING
perhaps you are an assistant, engineer, paramedic, who's job involves maint access

>>180015303
>I want /vg/ to be a high rp shitfest where security genuinely is all powerful because resisting them is a bannu
ftf(y)

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>>180015587
>Socializing? There's bar, kitchen, etc. Also visiting other departments for requests, example robotics getting sulph acid from medbay early in the round.
"for too much time"
Socialize, but not for much longer than half an hour or so because you have a fucking job to do
Getting acid does not take that long
>Maybe you need to give something to someone, or ask them something important. Some people don't pay that much attention to the main channel.
Tailing someone doesn't mean following them for a few minutes to get their attention
It means following them to try and catch them when they're alone or unawares
>>server chock full of validhunters and seriously asking this
Are you saying that I shouldn't search validhunters for being validhunting cunts or what

All of this shit can be avoided by co-operating, being polite, and using your words

>>180015727
What part of context
Having no real job makes you excused from the not doing your job
Having a job that requires you to be in maint means you don't get searched just because you're in maint
I'm agreeing with you here in case my autism is coming through too strong

>>180015801
As opposed to the borderline deathmatches that occur when security is hamstrung or absent? "We're not High RP" isn't an excuse for becoming NoX 2.0.

Are Ivy Stocker and Valkyrie Skies canonically lovers?

>>180016235
No.

t. Ivy.

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Why do people get so pissy over this?
>but muh interrogation RP!
Nobody actually gives a shit about it.

>>179974512
What's bad about CM?

>>180016317
how about canonically good friends that sometimes do each other's makeup?

>>180016556
You are a pissy faggot.

>>180016235
excuse me i think you mean valkyire stamps

>>180016235
the only thing ivy loves is cramming roaches inside of her

>>180016743
do not respond to shitposters

>>180015303
uh actually he's a person pretending to be an employee

and I have a soft spot for greytiding so I'm taking this niggas side, you saw him running around so you decided to search him, got robusted and are crying about it. Both of you did things that I feel like are fine to do, it's just that you probably shouldn't cry about it

>>180016743
I may be, but me RPing "not being braindead" and going AFK for 10 minutes after being arrested but "not braindead" are the exact same thing effectively, one just triggers people who are made doubly aware their action is being ignored by what would be the other party.

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>>180012407
this means someone open-carrying with the funny gasse maske while covered in blood or something to that effect

people are naturally going to fuck around. you wouldn't pull over every guy you saw doing 5 over the speed limit if you were a real cop, but you definitely would bag and tag the kid drag racing in his WRX.

>>180013165
>not random searching on blue

admin says you can, if you dont rando search you are a liability

>>180017396
I have literally not played since two days ago

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>"Paisley, with how little work you've done this shift, I'll be putting in a report to have you fired at CentComm."
That was the RD, you robonigger.

>I was trying to mine my own resources to help build stuff for the station
>Paisley (the autist that gets upset every time I talk about improving mechanic) does nothing all round except beat up a mommi for bringing the juke on the shuttle

>>180017719
I haven't played in almost two years, but I see your point

so QM was a ling right?

also lol at ahelp for that totally righteous execution

>>180016809
av*da...

>>180017774
I stole all her robots because she was being a meanie. Then, on the shuttle, I managed to protect the jukebox and MoMMI from her using some inflatable walls and doors.
I feel good.

>>180017774
Job Ban when

>>180015132
>bug the sec to tell me who told him to arrest me
>it was the captain
>people so new they don't know about the standard assistant vendor hacker gimmick are playing captain

>>180016235
Pretty sure Valkyrie has a thing for Joanna. She brings her a mech every round.

>>>180016556
Admins are fags, don't worry about it

>more than willing to RP when kidnapped
>either never kidnapped or murdered on the spot
Do people just assume you go brain dead when they cuff you?

>>180018039
somebody needs to draw a infographic for all the relationships in this game, it's confusing

>>180018240
Yes. The fags in the d*scord have even talked about how they'd go catatonic when kidnapped too because its "boring"

>>180018248
But don't though, we don't want to justify their waifuing.

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Paisley, don't bitch at someone for doing Robotics when you aren't doing it yourself. There wasn't a single hyper battery ready in Robotics, not a single mech was built, and you were actively refusing to upgrade the boards.

You deserve a job ban for that shit.

>>180018240
poeple do all the time

>>180018240
>tfw always RP when kidnapped
Had a few good ones to be honest.

>>180018373
I mean, at least make it awkward for the vampire as they succ you dry, right?

>>180018391
justify their roleplaying*
FTFY

Going braindead when arrested actually is the most logical thing to do in character.
Given the "anything you say can and will be used against you" nature of law enforcement, and the "you have the right to remain silent" natural law, what better choice is there than completely zoning out?

>>180018240
Everyone squeaks so killing is easier, and a lot of people will go braindead if an antag gets them, especially to metagay and deny vampires blood. I've done the latter.

>>180018613
If someone just mugs me I keep quiet, especially as a non human, given sec and the AI's tendency to bully

>>180018613
whenever people do that i just give them max time :'), if they RP its time off boooi

>>180018435
>job banning someone because they are not doing their job
good luck

>>180018240
the only people ive seen try to do anything with someone who got kidnapped was isaac and nipples the clown. 99% of the time everyone else just kills/convert you

>>180018896
There's a difference between being new or shit at a job and actively refusing to do your job.

http://ss13.moe/forum/viewtopic.php?f=38&p=20252&sid=950c0589333986a594e3ce552c21f634#p20252
SIT YOURSELF DOWN SON

>>180018848
Why do you think max time matters?
Five, ten, even fifteen minutes is all the same, open a 4chan tab or whatever, missing out on a bit of 2D walking sim isn't a big deal.
The ONLY thing annoying about being arrested is being taken from what you were doing (if anything) because someone wants to feel/useful or like they griffed you.

>>180018240
>be trader with trader buddy
>get arrested by sec
>about to be executed for some grand crime
>'we dindu nuffin, please check your sources'
>sec checks their sources
>shitter assistant made it up
>sec gives us the assistant as a slave as compensation for damaged feelings and wasted time
>we bring him back to the outpost and torture him for 45 minutes while a mommi and a diona nymph watch
we learned after the fact that dead chat was loving it

>>180018240
It's because if you kidnap people, they have the chance of breaking loose and murdering you.

So it's easier to just kill them.

>>180019056
nothing matters in this game, its obvious bait

>>180019093
wasnt there 3 seperates tellings of this story from various perspectives? Each one of them solid 200 karrot gold

>powergame as hard as I can
>nobody has ever complained about me
Hmmmmmm.....

>>180019418
that means your best sucks

>>180019307
yeah
like 4 people greentexted it.
the Mommi's was the funniest iirc

I should have saved it