Why don't they just make horror game protagonists morbidly obese? That way it makes sense they can't jump or climb over fences.
>they're bullet sponges with more resistance
That's actually a good idea. A fat neet finally forced into the world by X apocalypse and has to both adapt to monsters and his own inadequacies. Over the course of the game, the player will begin to run faster, jump higher, and work more efficiently until you look at a mirror at the end of the game to see a fit motherfucker staring back.
You're one of those kids who screams about every little detail in vidya/movies/television that doesnt make 100% sense.
Your father probably hates you and thinks you're an annoying little prick.
That belly-button looks like a baby's head crowning.