Happy thanksgiving, /v/chan!
What are you thankful for this year?
Me? I'm thankful i'm not Anthony Burch.
>still not anthony burch
>tfw gf left me
>tfw behind on the electric bill
>tfw can't afford to go see family for thanksgiving
>tfw job is temporary and ends on Saturday
>tfw having actual dial up internet in 2014
At least I'm not
>wake up at 3am in a cold sweat
>feel like I'm going to have a heart attack
>running around the house panicking, trying to breath
>collapse onto the floor
>look up and see my Wii U gamepad across the room
>calm down and sleep like a log
>get hired by a titty monster
>ties me up
>pierces my dick with nails
>cuts off my arms
>sticks a razor dildo up my ass
>cuts my arms off
>puts them up my ass
>tfw still not anthony burch
Sorry Its 4am
I should go to sleep soon
I'm thankful that Final Fantasy XV will be coming out in 2015.
Also I'm not nor will I ever be Anthony Burch.
>win a shit ton amount of money doing practically nothing
>have a qt wife
>head of a major company releasing popular and well liked video games
>live the life
That's at which point I woke up from my coma and realized someone was fucking me with a copy of Borderlands 2 and my wife was getting gangbanged, loving every single second of it.
>born without legs or arms
>every day is a nightmare of unimaginable torture
>praise jesus every day that I'm not A. Burch
>being Anthony Burch
>2014 years after the birth of jesus
>tfw still not anthony burch
thank the heavens.
sonic lost world
sonic 3d blast
sonic adventure 1 and 2
>thankful that i'm not anthony burch
But what happens if you
die before it releases?
>Born a quadruple amputee baby with dicks for eyes, connected at the forehead with my retarded brother.
>Life is completely pain and suffering
>Want to die
>Realise I'm still not as bad as Anthony Burch
>have to go through surgery soon
>chance I won't survive
>kind of want it to kill me
>still not Anthony Burch
>Every day I wake from my mattress of stone and cardboard.
>My personal effects are contained in a battered rucksack.
>Along with the others, I begin to make my way feebly along the roads.
>I know that, even though we left the death squads behind, it would only take them a matter of hours to reach us if they desired it.
>Those that drop from exhaustion are left behind. They will, at least, cause our genocidal pursuers to pause momentarily for the execution.
>Three weeks ago we came across a town that had been kissed by their hateful mouth, the bodies of men, women and children lay violated in the streets.
>The sickening realisation that we, for all our attempts to flee, are still well within the borders of their control follows us as we move across the land.
>We are turned about and around by the lack of navigational experience.
>There are none left alive to give us direction or hope.
>Yesterday we came across a church, empty and abandoned. Yet the flowers were untrodden in the yard and the graves remained undesecrated.
>We sat silently on the damp pillows in the pews. Sunlight cascaded in through the ornate windows, casting halcyon patterns across the faces of mute saints.
>In that moment, with the world crumbling outside, we joined hands and wept.
>We were happy then, for even though the world we knew had been irreversibly tainted by malice, and that the story of our violation would die with our small group; we took solace.
>A child suppressed a giggle, and a small smile spread across the forsaken congregation.
>For we knew, looking with mustered courage from one haggard face to the next, that at least we were not Anthony Burch.
>wake up, it's a beautiful morning
>birds singing, geese honking in the trees
>lazily roll over and catch a view of myself in the mirror
>I'm Anthony Burch
>tfw family members are coming over and you will have to talk to them.
It's always some awkward condescending shit they have to weave in to whatever they tell you. just kill me.
>played spin the bottle with a 13 year old
>Went to store to find a video game I wanted to get but it wasn't there
>Bought a lamp instead
>Saw a cute parrot I want to buy maybe when I move house soon
>Yell at a bunch of teenagers who drove past me flipping me off
>It rained a little bit
At least i'm not Anthony Burch?
>birds singing, geese honking in the trees
>geese honking in the trees
Oh yeah I also helped a dog find its way home.
His name was Nitro.
>Arrived at the airport to meet a girl I used to be madly in love with.
>She left the country to live with family, but she said she was returning for good and that I could meet her.
>I eagerly scan each group of passengers as they come through the arrivals gate, looking for her soft smile.
>She arrives, just as lovely as when she left all those years ago. Her time living abroad has given her an elegant confidence that only makes my heart reach out for her more.
>She walks towards me and without saying a world we slip into an embrace.
>Her hair is soft and I brush it aside to give her a soft kiss on her forehead.
>Helping her with her bags, we head into the city, talking all the way.
>We'd been through love, loss, disappointment, happiness and everything in between in our time apart.
>The days roll on as we fall into the waiting comfort of romance.
>One day, I awake from my bed and, as always, send a message to her.
>Her reply is curt. To the point. Completely unlike her.
>We meet later that day, in our favourite cafe on Berwick Street. They serve a number of exotic and interesting teas and I find her sipping a simple, unsweetened rooibos.
>She looks at me with expressive eyes, glazed with worry.
>"I have to go back."
>In disbelief, I look at her plainly as the realisation dawns on me.
>"My uncle has died. My mother said she needs me there."
>I take a moment to process this.
>"But, you'll come back right?" I say feebly. Immediately regretting my selfish concern.
>Her face breaks into a million pieces. "How can you ask me that? My uncle is dead?"
>"Look, just... I'm sorry okay. I don't know. I just don't know."
>I don't go to see her off.
Well at least I'm not Anthony Burch.
I hate how every thanksgiving there's always some fag who is like "OK WERE GONNA GO AROUND THE ROOM AND EVERYONE IS GONNA SAY SOMETHING THEYRE THANKFUL FOR! :D"
>no irl friends
>having small thanksgiving dinner for myself on Saturday because I don't get paid til tomorrow
>I'm thankful that there's a lot less Tomahawks flying through the air
I'm not. I think it would be cooler if we had to watch out for wild indians every time we went outside. Realistically, wouldn't that make like more interesting?
But then how did you write this post?
I'm thankful that I am not Anthony Burch, but I am also thankful for amazing threads like that one. 600+ posts before it was deleted, and it was the best time I've had on the internet all week.
I leave everyone with the cropped dialogue I did from the one page. Enjoy.
Enjoy your zombie apocalypse!
>Be unwanted babby, get adopted
>Grow up, make zero friends
>Never allowed to play reindeer games with the dudes at school :(
>Picked on for all of grade school and live with anxiety
>Growth spurt kicked in late and now that I have the rage and girth to punch faces in, there are no faces to punch
>My favorite hobby through all of this (vidya) gets destroyed by people who dont even play games
>Want to kill myself because the only thing that ever made me happy is turning to shit. This must be what watching your daughter become a trashy slut feels like
>Im still not Anthony Burch
Feels good man
>Tropico 5 with my buddy
>Team Fortress session with several friends
>got a gig to work on a reality show in a week and a half
>learning Japanese is going well
Life's actually kinda good right now.
>Be 30yr old retard on /v/
>Realize I haven't had sex for 7 years now
>Suffer from social anxiety
>Suffer from depression
>Work in a shitty dead-end job that I will waste my life away in until I die in my 50s from a heart-attack
>Think about killing myself 5 times a day
>See this thread
>Realize that at least I am not Anthony Burch
>Suddenly feel happy and content with my life for the first time in 30 years
Thank you Jesus for not being born as Anthony Fucking Burch.