How game companies attempt to develop and release a glass of water.
>Console devs release "cup rebirth retracted edition IV"
>The cup is made out of wet mud because glass subtracted from the "cinematic experience"
>$49.99 Season pass includes corks to plug the holes in the cup and a deep sense of regret
>The "water" is found to be piss on release because water was an "unrealistically high expectation" and "close enough to water anyway"
>Bethesda releases the new hotly anticipated entry in the Beverage series
>The top of the glass is almost completely closed off, except for a small hole, forcing you to drink the water at a slow, boring pace.
>Glass community carves a proper drinking hole into the glass and, while not perfect, yields a much improved thirst quenching experience
also the water is mud that's unfilterable, but the water community finds a way to add lolis to it
Since people thought the ice cubes were too difficult, we opted to remove encounters with ice near the end of each glass entirely. We feel ice in drinks is archaic anyways and ruins the overall smooth and liquid experience of the beverage.
>we found drink testers having trouble with the concept of raising the glass to their mouths, so we included a built in sippy top so that no water could be spilled
>we also decided, to make the water more accessible, we'd include a straw with the water, so new audiences could enjoy water as well as the 'hardcore drinkers'
>Nintendo has an extensive range of lemonade
>people look at the labels and say 'this is just lemon & lime same as always' but people who've been drinking for years appreciate the well crafted flavours you can enjoy at any age
Don't forget to get your complimentary limited edition coaster that comes with the collector's edition (only $20 extra for something that cost $1 to print and make). Yes you need it. No, you shouldn't just use a napkin or some newspaper.
Game company: This water is designed to appeal to all groups of thirst enthusiasts. Men, women, young, old, hardcore, casual. This water can literally nourish anyone.
tumblr: OH I GUESS IT'S JUST ONE SIZE FITS ALL THEN? WHERE'S THE FEMALE AND POC REPRESENTATION?
/v/: OH, MARKETED TOWARDS 'EVERYONE?' WOMEN? KIDS? THIS INJUSTICE CANNOT STAND!
>water used to be hard to drink and achieve. You need to climb the highest mountain and you need to drink it from the holy grail
>the sequel now comes on a simple glass because "we want to reach the wider audiences"
/v/: Why the fuck do all beverages come with god damn straws? Are the casuals really too fucking stupid to raise their arms? These fucking people are ruining water! Drinking it on the bus! Drinking it at work! Drinking it on a plane! Real fucking drinkers only drink directly from the stream!
I'll have you know that our new glass handles solid ice objects perfectly well. As a matter of fact we have experimental support for lemonade and chocolate milk.
There are still some crash issues with the chocolate milk, resulting in it all being wasted down the drain, but a fix will be introduced in a future patch.
>One of our testers contracted cholera when drinking from a stream out in the woods so we've decided to filter the water for general consumption.
>/v/: DON'T THESE FUCKING CASUALS KNOW TO USE WATER PURIFICATION TABLETS BEFORE DRINKING THAT SHIT STRAIGHT OUT OF A STREAM?! FUCK.
I just went to the website and holy shit, this is bad. Are we really looking at DAY ONE fucking DLC?
>Pre-Order Glass of Water from GameStop today and receive exclusive Lemon Wedge Pre-Order DLC and a a beefed up, special edition Glass for your Water.
>Don't forget to also purchase the Season Pass for Glass of Water or you'll miss out on exclusive DLC and deals such as the Ice Cube expansion and Crazy Straw DLC.
The gameplay looks like they're really aiming for the Call of Duty audience. 'Double Hydration Weekend'? Come the fuck on. I can't wait for this industry to crash.
>Not having a 2500 dollar water filter to produce the best tasting and healthiest water out of your sink or from Stream.
Enjoy your fluoride piss bottlefags.
It's water! Good for the entire family and people of all ages?
Be on the look for the FLAVORED DLC! You don't really need it, but it's good if you have extra money.
/v/: WHY IS JEWATER COMPANY FORCING DLC ON US?????
>Blizzard makes Water II with 5 unique different straws to drink it from and later adds 2 more.
>Waits 5 years to release Water III
>The glass looks better, but you can only recieve more water from the central Blizzard water cooler
>Straws have to be constructed yourself to barely resemble straws from Water II.
This glass isn't curvy enough, stop with the fat shaming glasses.
Pic related is a REAL glass.
>to me you are the best cup
>There is water inside you right now
>implying it is not the water that is controlling you right now
I'll have you know that i make a living by surviving in the toughest of enviroments, I'm a real hardcore motherfucker that has survived by building igloos in antarctica, and I prefer piss.
I bought a croatian glass of water last month. They call it Angry Aqua or something. I started drinking it and it was nice and cold and went down real smooth. I liked it so much that I kept drinking. And drinking. Then I realised I couldn't pull the glass away from my mouth. It just kept pouring. Feeling a little overhydrated now I started to panic. I was struggling against the glass, fighting against the raging torrent of water that just continued to assault me endlessly. Sort of gulping and choking, I thought I could finally see the end and tried to drink against the tide. But a renewed surge of fluid greater than anything I'd experienced before charged into my throat from every direction. I was pretty much drowned at this point and couldn't go on. Just before I blacked out I thought I could hear the glass screaming at me.
Anyway I woke up in hospital but I seriously hope they make a sequel.
>go to local DrinkStop
>find a classic used drink and bring it to the counter
>cashier asks me if I have a WaterUp card, tell him no
>insists I get one then tries to get me to preorder more drinks
>after a half hour he finally lets me buy the drink I wanted
>water is heavily chlorinated to get rid of all the bugs
>Go to W3
>See a nice-ass glass of water being shown
>Not bad looking glass
>Decide to preorder it
>It's a plastic cup with tap water in it
Fucking Squeegee and their bullshots
PREORDER AND RECIEVE THE BIG GULP UPGRADE
PREORDER THE COLLECTORS EDITION AND GET THE BIG GULP UPGRADE AND FIRST SIP
PREORDER THE ELITE PRO COLLECTORS EDITION AND GET AN EXTREMELY LIMITED INSULATED BOTTLE 2 COOZIES AND DOUBLE FILTRATION
>devs complaining about increasing cost of filtering water, even though price of water has stagnated
>implying they would triple filter it like they're supposed to
>implying they wouldn't run it through a banana filter ONCE
>implying they won't just sell on fraudulent samples
>implying the water market isn't saturated with brainless fuck-wits that will buy two gallons after a single sip
I guess you could say she broke her water.
reddit: So what happened the other day: Look at this water tattoo I got and drew on my homework into a cake my girlfriend baked for me! Anyone else feeling the Glass of Water 2013 nolstagia? Upvote if you are!
>There are people in this thread, RIGHT NOW
>Who BUY bottled water
Just drink it from the stream faggots
Mug masterrace reporting in
>water filled with tons of chemicals
>people get sick from drinking it for sustained periods
This is why I buy bottled water or get a filtered gallon for 35¢
You know something anon, you're alright.
I don't get you Pee-Cee masterfags, always having your water frozen instead of liquid.
It feels a lot better loading your liquid water into a mug than just clicking on the ice cube.
Plus you don't even get the water pamphlet and water holder in solid form!
So is anyone else dealing with weird smells in their bathroom?
I never put the toilet seat up to minimize downtime, and often have to keep the fan running 24/7 to keep up
Pic is my specs, any advice?
you don't get it man, being able to turn all my ice into water via steam is super convenient. I get to enjoy the same water as you, but:
I don't have to have my mug poured all the time, and I can still drink my water if the mug is tipped or smashed
i can have litres of water in my PC at all times
where's the downside?
You miss out on having the water there, waiting in its case. It's there, always there, and your mug is always ready to be used by it.
If your steam is under heating maintenance then you're fucked. For mug and cup owners you can pull it out of the old cupboard and redrink the same good ole water any time you want
>Glass one is released. Everyone loves it.
>Eventually Glass One has an expansion pack made for it. For a few extra dollars you can purchase Glass one:Kool-aid, which gives a kool-aid packet to enhance your glass drinking experience.
>Glass one: Kool aid is deemed a huge success by both critics and gamers.
A few years later...
>Glass two: The Glassening is released. Building on the popularity of Glass One: Kool-aid. Taking many of the core features and introducing a bunch more that would soon become industry standard.
>Does very well
>Few months later Glass 2: The ReGlassening is released, featuring many new flavours and drinking styles.
More time passes...
>Team Glass announce that they have put work on Glass 3: The subtitleless to develop MUG, a spin off that maintains the core gameplay that fans of the Glass series have grown to love, but set in a different universe.
>MUG also does well and eventually MUG: Coffee edition is released.
More time later...
>Glass 3: The Subtiteless is released. Hacking apart the core features and ruining the game for the original fans, whilst failing to attract new fans to the Glass series with it's dumbed down, gimmicky, casualised mechanics.
>Team Glass is disbanded
>Glass is back!
>Gaming world collectively loses their shit!
>Early screenshots look good
>Hype reaching insane levels!
>E3 rocks around, everyone suepr hyped
>Turns out it's a shitty browser based game/phone app
>Resulting hype deflation can be heard on mars.
More time passes
>Coming in one month!
>Glass 2: The ReGlassening is to be released on steam in HD!
>EVERYONE GOES WILD!
>Babbies who were never around when it first came out keep making le ebin maymays about it ruining the experience for everyone who stuck with Glass, even through the tough times.
That took way too long to type.
>He doesn't drink mercury
I wish all these fucking casual water babbies would leave. Mercury is a hardcore drink for hardcore drinkers. It's not our problem you can't handle it.
>Lol, dae swirly straws amiright? XD
This is what's killing /v/
>implying water can't be just as fun to drink
You're just as bad as them if you only drink 'real beverages' like Mercury Souls
>Not drinking carbonated water
I guess it's no surprise /v/ is filled with underage casuals who only drink from the mainstream.
>the water tastes terrible
you have to drink the water for at least 10 hours before it gets good!
>drink all the water and it makes you sick
you clearly must have liked it or why would you have drank it all?
>buy water from russian reseller
>turns out to be milk
>start playing glass of watercraft in 2006
>quit in 2008 due to wrath of the ice cube
>start quenching for thirst again
>buy another drink
>take 1 sip
>already hydrated and sick of water
>go back playing cola dewty
This is a glass of water
This is the best water I've ever had. Please deposit $200 in swag in the box.
>Rock Paper Shotgun
This glass of water is sexist. Comments are closed.
This glass should be filled with chocolate milk, not water.
>mfw coffee is a cup exclusive
glasster race indeed
>poorly emulated coffee experience
>will burn your hands
>vs drinking hot beverages from a sophisticated and specifically designed vessel like you're supposed to
>release half a glass of water
>sell you some extra water immediately after
>sell you the rest of the water bit by bit
>sell you another full glass of water and call it GALACTIC HYPER ULTIMATE GOLD edition water
every year, water processing chips get better
yet somehow, every year, game companies produce less water and it tastes worse.
>not wanting the versatility of a glass instead of overpriced custom shit
>being a casual who needs handles
>trusting the liquid jew
They should just ban cup plebs from this board altogether.
>Ellie, it seems like we are almost out of water.