So I was playing this game on the Internet called the Oregon Masturbation Massacar...... Enough said
That is an old European saying based on a misinterpretation of a story. God commanded a man to get his brother's widow pregnant so that his brothers could have heirs, and instead of obeying God's command he had sex with her and pulled out, letting his semen spill on the ground. God was angry at him for disobeying his command so the man died. Some Christians missed the point of the story and thought God was angry that the semen touched the ground, and thus to those people they considered it taboo for semen to end up anywhere other than a woman's vagina.
Oh yes it does my friend. I read the bible in its entirety that is how I became an atheist.
They were big on you cleaning your dick afterwards so that you would not get sick, and to discurage you from doing it again you had to stay away the whole afternoon outside the camp.
They didnt want everyone getting sick so they had to clean their dicks, but at the same time they didnt want everyone wasting water cleaning their dicks every day. They were nomads in exile in the desert after all. its not like water is easy to come by. The cutting of the foreskin was also to keep your dick clean.
And if you married a woman from another tribe she had to shave her whole head and body bald (to keep lice from spreading just in case she had them), and she had to stay away from the rest of the camp for weeks (in case she brought a new disease with her she would not get everyone sick)
all the old laws were pretty much to ensure good health of the community
Name one book that has been more widely read and had more influence.
how long until tumblr or kotaku make this an actual thing?
>I was sitting there enjoying myself as I noticed a sudden urge, my hand lifted itself up and without my full consent began raping me, I was caught entirely off guard as I violated my own body, tears streaming down my face, paralyzed with fear only watching as my dominating hand asserted its undeserved power over me
They'd probably encourage masturbation for women.
They'd probably try to fight masturbation for men though, since by jerking off as a man, you're insulting women because you're basically saying "My seed is too good for you."
Masturbation while having access to unlimited free porn is like forcing your kid to smoke a carton of cigarettes every hour. Soon they will get sick of it and just do it once a week if not never.
This is true, the bible doesn't say anything explicitly abut masturbation however it's clear that lust is a sin and thinking sexual things about a woman is as bad as committing them in real life.
Theoretically you can have righteous masturbation, but lust can't be involved. That means no porn or fantasising.
There was a time where I was masturbating at least once every day but then it became only one to three times a week. I just plain have better things to do then spend all my free time masturbating, and I just don't have the desire to masturbate that much anymore.
The Old Testament is a fucking story about a bunch of assholes blowing up shit, raping and killing each others while God masturbates. Sometimes he gets pissed off and kills a bunch of randoms or sends people away for the lulz. There, Old testament.
The New Testament is where the true message lies, the only thing that makes it something beyond a dumb story.
Considering the bible is a "old testament+", the latter is technically more influential.
It has a religion just for itself.
Thereby being read by more people overall.
Not one christian religion says you shouldn't read the old testament. That's what they use to justify most of their prejudices.
Also, if they didn't liked it so much they could've made bible without it.
The New Testament was translated into English before the Old Testament because that is where most of Christianity's doctrine comes from. The Old Testament gives more context to the New Testament but it is not essential. Pocket-sized Bibles usually only include Psalms and Proverbs.
>That feel when you like the bible, but you're not religious.
>That feel when you appreciate the morals taught by the bible.
>That feel when the stories are interesting.
>That feel when after reading the bible you realize absolutely nobody actually reads the bible, not even real christians.
>The bible shaped Western civilization after the fall of the Roman Empire
Fair. whether the influence was a good thing or not is another thing altogether.
I suppose I did make the mistake of assuming influence was a good thing.
New Testament would be better without the pretentious son of god stuff too. The shit Jesus talked about (at least so far as it's been preserved) is pretty good all around. To be fair though, I'm saying this as someone who grew up in a culture heavily (sometimes through violence) influenced by it, so I may be biased there.
>Not one christian religion says you shouldn't read the old testament. That's what they use to justify most of their prejudices.
Any sane christian would know that many of the old testament rules became null after Jesus was killed and took the punishment, it's why they don't sacrifice cows anymore and why they can eat pig.
But for that same reason, some 'christian' religions that don't believe jesus was god incarnate and just another prophet still follow old testament rules.
I'm an atheist, but I think the bible has lots of potential for cool stories. I disagree about moral lessons except for the bits with Jesus, though.
>implying there's such a thing as "real" christians
Good luck finding people who don't wear mixed fabrics, eat shellfish, pick things up on Sunday (actually Saturday), stone any gays or lawbreakers, sacrifice animals to appease god, etc.
Well, he had to do something to gain their attention. He just used the stuff that his parents taught him, who can blame him?
And where the fuck did you grow up? My country is filled with catolics, but they are chilled except the really old assholes.
honestly, yes sometimes. Sometimes I do it while just having normal thoughts in my head, kind of like what you do in the shower I can legitimately say I've never masturbated to porn. I'm not naive or sheltered - I've seen a lot thanks to 4chan, but I don't use it
>People always tell me that being gay is wrong because Leviticus 18:22.
Why the fuck do people keep quoting that shitty verse? I know I have a mental disease but Leviticus was retconned around the same time jesus existed. What, do people still refuse to eat "pigs" because of leviticus?
plenty of people do, but it's mostly liberal arts people in academia
it's relevance as a cultural artifact for us is difficult to overstate, a working knowledge of the bible is pretty essential to get all you can out of most western literature written in the last 2000 years
Dont pull a "no true scotsman" on me yo.
Regardless of the new testament being null or not, most christians still strongly defer to it to guide their moral behaviour, i.e. 10 commandments being the most common.
theres also some fucked up morals in the bible though.
it always depoends on the person. if you take away things like killing and stealing and shit be bad yo, then congratulations, you're sensible.
If you use the bible as justification to put chainmail gloves on your children at night then you're most likely retarded.
Same with religion in general. If you dont have overzealous retards in the community religion can be a great motivation to get people together and participate in each others lifes (i.e. the opposite of /v/), provide care and a feeling of inclusion for sick and old people...
>That entire last line.
When the fuck will people realize that Jesus made it so the Leviticus and basically all of the laws and commandments of the old testament are retconned?
Jesus was a real person, but he was probably just a prophet. In addition to that, Jesus didn't need to read the bible, for two reasons:
1. The old testament was retconned by him.
2. He's the son of god.
Speaking of the Bible and /v/, did anyone ever play Super Noah's Ark 3D, AKA "Noahstein 3D"? Also,
>Me and siblings used to be Mormon as fuck
>mfw looking back at me and my 6 year old twin having theological debates about whether it was okay to play Sonic on sunday because of the "gambling" in Casino Night Zone
Jesus specifically said he didn't retcon anything. Which is hilarious because that's basically all he did. What do you expect from someone who was illiterate and had no access to a Torah in his language, though?
>Tfw not religious but when I read the bible I couldn't help but think about how a LOTR-style bible epic video game would be the most absolute hypest shit on Earth.
Can /v/ agree that fundamentalists have it wrong, but if people apply their christianity as a set of moral principles and don't force it on others then it's not a bad thing?
I'm sorry the reasonable ones aren't the majority for you in america, but we're not all bad like that.
Seriously? Tell me more of your biblical shenaningans.
>that feel when born in a family who has buddhist and catholics membesr who don't really give a fuck unless in special occasions.
Jesus explicitly said he wasn't overriding any of the old testament. He didn't know the contents of the Old Testament and neither did anyone around him, except via oral tradition.
>tfw Pope hasn't called a crusade to retake Jerusalem
>tfw Pope allows homosexuals to live
>tfw the Vatican allows heretical Muslims to set foot on Christian soil
>When the fuck will people realize that Jesus made it so the Leviticus and basically all of the laws and commandments of the old testament are retconned?
Jesus did not take homosexuality off of the naughty list, though. It still falls under adultery, and several New Testament passages make that pretty abundantly clear. Jesus was against killing people for adultery but he did not say it was not a sin anymore.
“For truly, I say to you, till heaven and earth pass away, not an iota, not a dot, will pass the law until all is accomplished. Whoever then relaxes one of the least of these commandments and teaches men so, shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but he who does them and teaches them shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 5:18-19 RSV)
>one week ago /co/ had a thread about christianity that reached bump limit and was full of civil conversation
>personal views were challenged and people responded saying it changed their ways of thinking
>/v/ can't have a thread about christianity without it being full of people attacking religion as a whole
>Going to /co/
>I'm sorry the reasonable ones aren't the majority for you in america, but we're not all bad like that.
But the fundamentalists are ruining religion by being the loudest ones and are actively working to chage the world for worse, and honesly we can't have that.
Heretics to the catholic church? Sure. Heretics to god? No. That'd be the catholic church.
The Pope ain't the father, and nobody should address him as such.
Jesus said all sin would be forgiven, but he did not say sin did not exist anymore. As you move closer to Christ you are supposed to move further away from your sins. If there is a sin in your life that controls you, you are expected to at least make an effort to replace it with devotion to Jesus. No one will ever be perfect in this world, but forgiveness of sin is not the same thing as permission to sin.
>the 2nd most trafficked board on 4chan is full of hostility and unintelligent conversation
shocking revelation you got there
For the christians in the thread or those familiar with the bible, I have some challenges for you:
•Where in the bible does it explicitly say that swearing is a sin?
•Does the bible ever say that non-christian marriage cannot be between to people of the same gender?
Bonus points if you use a direct translation from the original greek/hebrew
It's a piece of hospital equipment meant to hold a misbehaving child down while getting their shots. The head strap is meant to stop them from looking at the needle and squirming.
Around the age of 7, I had asked my mom if it was okay to play The Lion King genesis game on sunday because you could slash things as adult Simba. Luckily, she was like "well, if there isn't blood, okay". I can't say the same thing for a family I used to know. They were Mormon fundamentalists or "Super Mormons" as they were given the slang in church. The kids couldn't even watch The Lion King because it was too violent. Same thing for anything past the G rating (not sure how it is outside the US, but just imagine it as "Completely safe for even infants to watch"-tier.
When my twin and I were getting interviewed for our baptism at 8 (that's how Mormons do it), we wanted to talk to the leader of the church about his Sega Genesis and Toejam and Earl instead.
I got in trouble for playing some Castlevania music on the church organ once.
When I was 7 or so, I downloaded some Sonic the Hedgehog bible fangame on the PC and thought it was the tightest shit.
When I played Pocahontas on the Genesis, I mixed up John Smith with Joseph Smith, the Mormon's founder and prophet.
I accidently posted without finishing, shit.
Love between two men is still love, and Jesus taught that it's better to do the right thing than to do something wrong because it's considered a sin.
For example, Jesus Christ healed a dying man on a saturday, even though you are not supposed to work on saturday.
The religion is the source of the problem.
It's what gives people the reasoning to hate gays or whatever.
When fundies are armed with their holy books and a have a bone to pick, somehow any topic is way more serious and goes far beyond what would serve a multicultural society as a whole.
>Jesus was a real person
Maybe. I suppose dinosaurs were put in the ground by Satan too.
Really though, all we have as proof of Jesus (either a prophet or dogman) is that one book (or compilation of books technically). The same book that contradicts written history in multiple accounts, and contradicts itself too.
Please find me a Roman governmental account of the existence and influence of Jesus of Nazareth. The Romans were very good at keeping records. Jesus should be in their records multiple times if he was high profile enough to travel around and get crucified.
The bible says nothing about swearing. It says not to profane the name of God or to take His name in vain, which means more than just using the word "god" as an expletive (it moreso refers to being a false believer and using religion for vanity).
Cussing is and always has been about cultural mores. Christians generally do not like swearing because it is crass and foul, and if no-one considered profanity crass or foul then it would not exist. There are plenty of words that have lost their offensiveness through overuse which is why people keep inventing new obscenities as the old ones lose their bite.
Christians would argue that homosexuality is not actual love. It is a perversion of fraternity combined with lust. Saying "it's love so it's good" could be used to justify any kind of fornication.
Not him, but you're not really right. Lots of people were crucified by the Romans. Jesus would probably be a footnote among numerous cult leaders. I agree with Hitchens' postulate, though. Since the Bible has a story that Mary traveled to Bethlehem for Jesus to be born, it lends credence to the idea that he actually existed and the writers had to come up with an explanation for how a man from Nazareth fulfilled that element of the prophecy. If he was made up, they'd just have had him be from Bethlehem.
>Saying "it's love so it's good" could be used to justify any kind of fornication.
yeah, pretty much.
I mean that's fundamentally how waifuism works, isn't it?
the true religion of 4chan
That's interesting. Those kind of workings never bothered me as a child.
But did you stop being mormon as fuck? Because imo being on 4chan pretty much means some religious zeal is forfeit.
>the importance of the authority of Peter and the broadness of the basic theology, suggest that the author wrote in Syria or Palestine for a non-Jewish Christian community which had earlier absorbed the influence of pre-Pauline beliefs and then developed them further independent of Paul
>Early Christian tradition held that the Gospel of Matthew was written in "Hebrew" (Aramaic, the language of Judea) by the apostle Matthew, the tax-collector and disciple of Jesus, but according to the majority of modern scholars it is unlikely that this Gospel was written by an eyewitness
Luke and Acts:
According to tradition the author was Luke the Evangelist, the companion of the Apostle Paul, but many modern scholars have expressed doubt and opinion on the subject is evenly divided. Instead, they believe Luke-Acts was written by an anonymous Christian author who may not have been an eyewitness to any of the events recorded within the text.
John 21:24 identifies the author of the Gospel of John as "the beloved disciple," and from the late 2nd century this figure, unnamed in the Gospel itself, was identified with John the son of Zebedee. Today, however, most scholars agree that John 21 is an appendix to the Gospel, which originally ended at John 20:30–31. The majority of scholars date the Gospel of John to c. 80–95, and propose that the author made use of two major sources, a "Signs" source (a collection of seven miracle stories) and a "Discourse" source.
this thread is bad enough can we please not start this
> the bible is a valuable entertainment medium
this is what you sound like, unintelligible dullard. I bet you enjoy watching family guy.
the bible is nothing more than the arbitrary sloppy compilation of the accounts of mental defects.
You say only like there's more than 3. Christianity, going just by the associate holy literature, is by far the least barbaric of the 3. At the most Jesus just knocks some tables over and gets brutalized rather than, say sending people to commit genocide or raping a little girl.
I started to get bored of the church around 12 years old and I was already kind of being treated like shit for a few years for being a literal autist. I officially quit around 19 when I realized I needed to stop lying to myself about who I was (and that person wasn't Mormon). I'm 23 now. But that's the real tl;dr version of it. /blogging
Historians accept that Jesus existed as a real human being, regardless of whether or not he was actually capable of performing miracles. His existence as a historical person is not even being debated in academia. It's only euphoric edgemasters who openly deny that Jesus existed at all.
>That part where God shows Enoch the secrets of the universe
Man, Enoch was the real OG. Kicking fallen angel ass and being God's scribe.
I think there were records, not that it matters. That kind of shit is stuff only academics have any ready access to.
I bet you figure Commentarii de Bello Gallico is 100% reliable and accurate too.
Idk I guess it just the kind of thing that fell off-custom.
Plenty of old testament things wouldn't have applied to european life (like all those bushcrafting in the desert tips).
>but if people apply their christianity as a set of moral principles and don't force it on others then it's not a bad thing?
I 'm honestly not sure what exactly "Christian moral principles" even are. Ones are aren't just general.
Not to say I'm not glad you're not an asshole.
>MMXIV Anno Domini Nostri Iesu Christi
>Making threads that were beaten into the ground 5 fucking years ago
And I bet the faggot mods aren't going to go all END OF RINE on this thread and ban people for "shitposting" either
Tumblr, please leave. Go shit on social solidarity somewhere else.
A large majority of the 'laws' in the bible can be simplified down into 'love each other', and that core principle is often forgotten by people who feel like they have to take it upon themselves to let the rest of the world know how they're all sinners and they are somehow better. We don't have the right to judge others for their sin, nor should we encourage others to.
In the Torah/OT God commands the Jews to murder the fuck out of some other tribes nearby. This includes enslaving the women and children.
Muhammed married a 9 year old girl. Supposedly, he waited until she was 12 to consummate the marriage, gentleman that he was. He did other more violent shit too, but that particular detail stands out.