Eurovision Song Contest 2017 - Yodel Cutie Edition

What the fuck is this 10 second delay, it's 2017.

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COMMONWEALTH STRONG

REMINDER THAT AUSSIES ARE WONDERFUL PEOPLE

Australians need to gtfo.

THE ETERNAL ANGLO ALWAYS WINS

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>Yuodumpies greatest television event is an American Idol ripoff

>>82722478
Someone post the Aussie jig webm

You know the one I mean

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>>82722501
no

>>82722478
Based Aussies

>that italian presenter
oh god my dick

#grahamsosalty

Commentator trying hard to make it interesting when in fact Poortugal already won.

>>82722538
and who invented "American" Idol...

sheesh, you yanks really are slow aren't you.

>>82722538
When the contest started your country was a toddler. Your country is a toddler now, grats on leaving diapers.

>Ireland's 12 points
TRAITOR! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO VOTE FOR BRITAIN, REEEEE!

>>82722538
American idol was created by Simon Fuller, a British man. And eurovision has been running since 1956. Try again sweetie.

MOUSHI MOUSHI

cyprus uber-numale

Did the guy from Georgia say "moshi moshi"?

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REGIONAL VOTING WORKS BOTH WAYS YOU UNGRATEFUL IRISH PRICKS

>>82722607
SWERVED

What pun

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Can Portugal just fuck off?

>>82722607
Get the troops ready, we're taking back our land.

Ireland is British not Irish.

IRISH SCUM

>>82722644
It's really a competition to be the most awkward.

GIVE THE BULGARIA TWINK YOUR POINTS, FAGGOTS.

>>82722607
Honestly, why can't we just glass them all, build an artificial island in the middle, and extend the fuck out of Wales?

>>82722538
American Idol is the american version of Pop Idol, a British TV show. There's nothing original about it.

>>82722649
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oPiX9hCShW8

>>82722700
>this butthurt

Am I the only one rooting for the dutch titcows?

Anyone have a livestream of this?

WHAT THE FUCK

THANK YOU BASED SLOVENIA

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>>82722649
You mad?

that belarus presenter, oh god my dick

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WHO CAN STOP US?

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Little Norway #6

Not bad

>>82722538
>ameritard thinks the universe started in america

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MORE TWINK VOTES PLOX

>>82722660
right?

>>82722746
You guys are barely better than the French, lad. Wales is a bit funny in the head, but at least they're loyal.

>>82722787
Yeah I bet that wasn't a troll attempt or anything

Have not watching it this year, how is Russia doing?

Can I get some pics of that busty danish chick?

Norway at an eternal 7 points for every country

>>82722805
>still going

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>spain
>0 points

Spain, you done fucked up

>>82722812
seconding this

>SWEDDDDEN

>>82722698
Why does he keep getting points? He's just a twink with a deep voice.

Portugal was fucking cancer

somebody hopefully will give spain some points so we germans get our birthright of last place back.

>>82722811
Aren't there

can you end this show and let that Portugese cuck have his shitty award

portugal smashing so much ukrainian pussy tonight

>>82722878
Because he's a twink with a deep voice.

where the fuck is this Chick Republic?

>>82722819
well, we're the mediocrity capital of the world.

>>82722879
Heart disease actually

>>82722879

Portugal dared to be different and traditional.

>tfw falling for the black-haired presenter

Kill me

>>82722899
he can't. he's dying.

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>>82722585
>>82722598
>>82722615
>>82722728
>>82722787
>Yurodumpes falling for easy bait

>>82722899
yeah but mostly dark skinned portuguese

>>82722899
only thing they will smash is that defibrillator

LEFT HAND SIDE BITCHES

Who do you think Russia will vote for?

>>82722913
B-but we're the best place to live, right?

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Why does it say "The" Netherlands?

Someone explain to me what this is

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I can't fucking believe it. We are stuck between Ukraine and Spain, two of the worst and gayest performances of all time.

I know we wasn't great but come on!

>>82722772
Stop doing that faggot.

I hope the Portuguese fuck dies before the end of the votes so someone else can have a chance.

>>82722958
sure, if you dont mind boring.

>>82722938
>Amerifats trolling everyone
>by making themselves look... dumber?

so this is how Trump won.

Wut, these were just the jury points?

>42 countries
>voting twice each

WHO THOUGHT THIS NEW SYSTEM WAS A GOOD IDEA? IT'S GONNA BE ALL NIGHT

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>it's a two active threads episode

anyone else forgotten what all of the songs were already?

So who's firing the Greek and Cyprus juries?

>>82722899
>this faggot
>smashing pucci

lel no. no reason to punish him that hard

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>>82722938
>I was only pretending I swear bros

>>82722967
Because that's the name of the country.

>>82722969
send nena again

>>82722969
It was really bad, man. Not only that, but you just outright stole a popular song instead of writing yourself.

You're about where you belong.

>>82723006
This bit goes much quicker

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>>82722946

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is this all because of heart disease

Oh wow, they hide who votes for what because of muh regionalism and racism

>>82723007
Oh no, 2 out of 160 threads.

>>82722761
who is this

>>82723006
This second part goes pretty quick

i wonder how many Muslim and black men will fuck white Christian girls tonight all over the world

>>82723003
yep. next you have popular vote points and then government mandated points and then random points bonanza.

>>82723006
We have the news in between?

Reminder that everything before this is literally pointless

>very successfully
What a damn cunt

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>>82723039
damn look again at Spain and Ukraine

>>82723036
sometimes you need fresh pussy though

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HNNNNNNG

>>82723029
So is "Netherlands" wrong?

YES YES WELL DONE PORTUGAL WELL DONE

HOWEVER

rip, she deserved more than that.

>>82723067

That's not my point.

>>82722997
>retarded bongs thinking they invented shitty talent shows and idol culture.

>>82723166
We pretty much did though

>>82723140
It's the shortened reference but its name is not "Netherlands", it's "the Netherlands"

Or Holland

graham must be throwing a hissy fit right about now.

>>82723166
we're judgemental bitches so we probably did.

HOW DOES THIS WORK

>>82723239
no idea lad

Spain really failed this year

>>82723239
they change it every year just for fun.

>>82723239
They combine all the country votes to hide the tactical votes

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>pushed down to the right hand side again

>>82723239
they decide who wins it in advance

and then let the gullible audience know what they voted for

>>82723239
THE ONES NEAR THE BOTTOM GET 5000 POINTS

>Portugal or Bulgaria
>2 of the worst performances
>somehow the only countries left with a chance to win

Fuck this

>>82723239
>>82723287
Y...e yes yes..
However..........

>>82723216
nah, just salty they won't remain on the lefthand side of the scoreboard

Bulgaria will win

It's pretty obvious Portugal have won.

What a farce.

When does it finally finish?

>>82723311
Portuguese here, i have no idea how that greasy hipster has made it that far

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>mfw Spain and Germany can't even reach double digits

WELL DONE PORTUGAL WELL DONE PORTUGAL


HOWEVER

>bulgaria is a male
>mfw

What a bunch of fucking shit

Moldova made the right call bringing back epic sax guy.

This is taking way too long the goddamn Portuguese won

Portugal is so OP.

>tfw 4th place
thanks friends

>somehow the popular vote was nearly identical to the judge votes

I call supreme bullshit.

PORTUGAL STRONK!!

this is some despicable presenting. seriously cringy as fuck

What a stupid system. They should have dropped this format with the judges and the old format for the viewer votes

>even the contestant didn't know how the system works

>Portugal still not understanding how the points system works

>muh heart attack

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The chinese were right. This is the year of the cock.

european girls will fuck black Muslim men tonight

*dies from heart failure*

>>82723378
>can't reach double digits

checkem faggot!

>>82723445
No one does

>>82723424
did we watch the same thing?

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Fuck this new points system.

>10 points to Poland

>>82723467
Boy you think a lot about black penises

>>82723467
This night and every night

NOW HE CAN DIE A HAPPY MAN

>12 points to Bulgaria

Why the fuck are the British public so fucking gay?

>>82723424
No it wasn't

>>82723506
It's 16 year old girls voting

ARE THEY TRYING TO GIVE HIM A HEART ATTACK?

>>82723361
WE PLAYED THE RETARD CARD
AND COLLECTED THE OH SO BRAVE POINTS
WE WIN MOTHERFUCKERS!


European champions of muzak.
Excise me while I go over there and kill myself.

>>82723506
being into twinks isn't gay.

>>82723506
>implying the Bulgarians in the country didn't vote.
Keke


Oh I won?!

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>>82723467
Yes! Hihiihihihi

>>82723480
I'm only focused on top 2. Clearly Bulgaria and Portugal could not have possibly been the top 2 fan favorite performances.

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2 points to Australia

I'm waiting for the plot twist where he reveals he isn't dying

Will he die during the second performance?

this guy is on so many beta blockers rn

>>82723193
>>82722967
If we want to be pedantic it's proper name is Kingdom of the Netherlands

He looks embarrassed

>muh real music

Back to youtube comments with you

SHOTS FIRED

>>82723467
/thread

>Insulting the entire purpose of Eurovision: shitty disposable music that people can laugh at

holy shit he really didn't deserve to win.

>music that actually means something
>competed on eurovision

At least he didn't go political

Within about two years

>HERE IS THE WINNER WITH 71390 POINTS

>>82723563
and you have a King to go with it

>>82723563
So there are nether lands that united to form a kingdom?

>Fighting a losing battle at Eurovision, I think

Missed the competition. Did Portugal really deserve it??

>we are a tolerant and open country
>*gasses the crowd*

Fuck this guy, it's a crappy music contest not some pretentious folk music festival

>>82723639
Nah it was boring and not Eurovision music

REEEEEEEEEEEEE

PORTUGAL FUCK OFF

Eurovision was just getting fun again, with yodelling and gorrilas and epic sax guy, and Eupose goes and gives all the win to an autistic ponytailed fuck and now next year will be full of slow whisper ballads.

GIVE ME A GNOME ON A UNICYCLE YOU CUNTS.

He's right, all your shitty music sucks.

Are they actually saying words?

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>>82723595
6 million points. You dirty antisemitie

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>>82723590
>he didnt go political

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>his victory speech to the other entries

>>82723656
It'll be fine, he's literally dying so he gets the sympathy vote.

>>82723639
no

>>82723550
>Pulls off his baggy circus tent suit
>Is Robocop underneath
That would be pretty amazing.

ENCORE AUSTRALIA
NOW

>>82723656
this

over the rainbooooows

>>82723656
EH EH EH you lost AH AH AH.

where is that ASStralian guy when you need it?

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>This is the best song that Europe can muster

>>82723688
Oh ffs

Into the oven

>>82723650
>>82723656

Nothing wrong with making it serious again, songs are actually getting better and less kitsch.

Only buttmad Anglo's can't stomach it.

>>82723694
KEK.


Him and his sister will be "Eurovisioning" hard later.

This is literally some knockoff christmas ballad, fuck off

>UK Losing that badly
Is there a rule against professional singers? Why couldn't they just get Adele?

>faggot on phone recording

hey guys look at me i pay for front row seats and fly to eurovision and pay for a hotel to watch it through a 3 inch phone screen, and record something being professionally recorded

>>82723734
I want Eurovision to be fun

>>82723749
Adele is shit

>>82723749
Because Adele has a career

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>>82723717
BRAAAAAAAAAP

>Make-a-Wish Boy asks to win Eurovision
>They rig it so he does
>He celebrates by letting his sister sing instead of him
I hope she's dying too.

>>82723639
Yes and it was a proper song without EPIC STAGE GIMMICKS PARTY MUSIC WOOHOO

>>82723749
The record companies use it as a way to promote upcoming talent

>>82723749
too late. Conchita's Phoenix was a literal Adele rip off.

>>82723656
This, frankly. We already know the music is going to be atrocious, but the epic saxman, the finnish cave trolls and the austrian bearded lady made it a fun freakshow.
Damn Portugal taking this shit seriously. Caralho, pá.

>>82723749
It's really an amateur show. Serious artists don't want to be associated with it.
Which is also why it can be a bit fun.

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Me on the left.

So what was so good about Portugal's song?

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Salvador said mid instrumental break:
"thanks everyone in portugal"
"this was all rigged actually"

>>82723783
4chan really took you to a dark place now, isn't it?

>>82723749
Because the UK music industry absolutely dwarfs the rest of Europe's

What do now?

Why is it called Eurovision when nobody can see it

>>82723783
Who hurt you?

>>82723852
fap

>>82723852
go back to reality

>>82723749
Her record company probably demands that she not sign with anyone else, which she would have to in order to enter. There are also rules that you can't enter a song that has already been released; the Belarus entrant a few years ago had to write a whole new song after it turned out she had sung her Eurovision song in public literally one time before she entered it into the competition.

>>82723836
>>82723863
t. Bortugal

>>82723844

The Beatles could enter eurovision and Britain still wouldn't win.

>>82723869
fuck that

>>82723865
Soon.

>>82723912
well the only other option is suicide

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>>82723852
Masturbate

>>82723895
That's not the point I'm making. UK music industry rules all year around, so let the peons have their day.

>>82722787
It did, technically.

>>82723869
Woo there goes gravity

It was a bad song. Also rigged.

Because mathematically, Portugal couldn't get these points unless they won all eastern countries. And Portuguese immigrants outnumber Bulgarians and russians (kostov was russian fyi) only in France. Even in Spain it's practically close.

The Serbs could do such a thing, they are backstabbing cunts, but do you really think Milos, Tibor and co all sent an SMS of their money to a Portuguese song they can't understand?

>>82723639
Not at all

>>82723934
*American

>>82723749
Rita Ora was approached to do Eurovision before she was signed to whatever label she was signed to; her agent told it would end her career before it had begun.
And she's shit-tier, anybody with actual talent wouldn't go near it.

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>>82723974
kek

>>82723639
It did.

"I'm going to sell the award on e-bay."
Truly the champion we deserve.

>>82723974
Could have left the aussies with some points, at least they're not Euroscum.

>>82723934
kek UK once sent BLUE a popular UK band, they literally cheated and still lost

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>>82723978
Top kek.
Cry moar.

>>82723193
Holland only covers part of the Netherlands. If you tell someone from the south of the country they're from Holland they'll get pissy the way a Scot a would if you called them English or if you called a Canadian an American.

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>>82722644
Yes he did. I had to confirm it. It baffled me.

>>82724053
No they're British scum.

Goodbye Euro-/tv/, see you next year.

>>82723852
Watch the last match of the 4cc

/tv/ vs /lgbt/ is starting soon

>>82723924
I'll just watch something else

>>82724106
4cc?

Is that Motorbikes?

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>>82724137
Nah, it's football

http://implyingrigged.info/

>>82724163
I don't care for football but why is it /tv/ vs/lgbt/?

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>>82724205
Those are the two teams playing

>>82724240
What is this?
Internet football?

>>82724163
Check the link. Mentioning it has apparently been banned on 4chan so you have to be careful, but every board gets a team and names all the players after their memes, then they play a tournament.

>>82724072
I'm just mad i sent an SMS when it got rigged.

Banned on 4chan why?

>>82724263
Autism memeball

I'm surprised you've not heard of it, 4cc has been going since 2011 I think.

But yeah, go to the link in >>82724163 and look for the stream.

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>>82724273
>he fell for the sms meme

>>82723978
Maybe not everyone votes for their home country.

Check the app, it's kek-worthy how rigged it is.

According to the app, Bulgarian audience put Portugal in 3rd place with 7 points. Countries like Albania appearently now like sob stories and Portuguese ballads.

>>82723978
wahhhhhhhhhhhh

>>82724367
True, but do you honestly think eastern people would pick up their phone and vote for the Portuguese guy? Check the app, see the votes if you don't believe me it's rigged.

Besides, migrants do vote a shitload. So they will usually outvote locals. Like how Russia rapes the popular vote.

>>82722538
>american education

you burgers will NEVER grasp the subtle nuance of Eurovision

>>82724288
The rules keep changing and nobody knows what they are. I think it's allowed to have a thread during matches, on /sp/ and /vg/ only, and any other threads get banned, but le hotpockets man doesn't understand these nuances and just bans anyone.

>>82724525
This is just a babby cup at least so it's less important

>>82724525
Okay.

This is some autism.
I half recognise the UK voice, might just be the area accent.

I'll watch might be funny.

>>82722478
Why is Australia at Eurovision in the first place? They are no where near Europe at all.

>>82724655
He's Mauled by the tigers, tripfag in Brit related things. It's a Hull accent.

You'll probably end up watching a snoozefest here though

>>82724754

So are their real people playing?

It's funny, with the commentary and I have nothing better to do.

>>82724847
No, it's AI, but there are managers and tactics. It's almost like football manager multiplayer.

>>82724916
Ah okay.

They had an lgbt person talking but they've disappeared.

>>82725016
The live managers aren't commentating. There's a whole lot of rules.

https://implyingrigged.info/wiki/Appendix:Rules

Seriously, there's massive autism in this.

>>82725076
So they play from the sidelines.
I understand.

This is autism of the purest kind.

>>82725175
It absolutely is.

Keep in mind there's five years of stats now too, and some of the commentators legitimately do tactical and statistic analysis.

And there's a guy who runs a betting shop. Check out /4ccg/ on /vg/.

>>82723076
cait blanchett

>>82723328
underrated

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I can't stop listening to the Croatia song. It speaks to me.

>>82725269
I'd never come across this, I stick to only a few boards.

This is insane.
It's like they did this because they can't fit in to normie football fans.

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When win big song contest...

>>82725437
It got me into real football actually.

Also /tv/ fucking SUCK

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>>82722538

WHY IS THIS THREAD STILL UP GO TO BED EVERYONE IT'S LATE

CRY NO MORE

Eurocucks actually watch this shit?

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>>82725563
>feeling all alone and insecure

>>82725524
It's palatable.

I hate real football but played the games sometimes, just to fool around with it.
Using the goalkeeper to run and score for instance.

>>82725567
mi mi mi mi mi mi only me me
mi mi mi mi mi only me me sexy me

French and romania were such qts..

>tfw Harambe died again

I liked Portugal, but Moldova should have won tbqh.

>>82723639
imagine la vie en rose melody but portuguese

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>>82722478
the eternal cunt strikes again

>>82722478
based

>>82727709
>b-based xD

kys

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>>82727899

>>82722478
her professionalism is great