Woah woah woah, woah! woahhhh! Hold yo' howses, dis is a PG film!
*youngling saunters on screen, smirks and gestures back at the shot*
heh, it wooks pwetty gwim for wittle ol' me, wight? But it wasn't always wike dis....
I SAID... it wasn't always wike dis.
gosh, you gotta do everything yowselv tese days!!
*walks off screen, rolls the backdrop into a new scene*
*jizz music starts up*
i was once a happy, innocent padawone, kinda wike you! going about my business, doing my thing, that kinda stuff!
*shot of youngling rolling up to little girls in toy speeder*
heh, the wadies loved me...
*girls brush him off*
uhh, most of the time...
OK I laughed, I admit, but this is a step in a pretty fucking insane direction.
>You're all probably wondering how I got to this point... it all started when my parents signed me up for the jedi academy.
You are the cancer that destroyed this place and is now proceeding to destroy humanity. Everything you touch, is shit. YOU are shit. Everything you will ever amount to, everybody you will ever know and everything you will ever do, will be shit.
You rob everything of its integrity and you spew your "buzzwords" as though they're gospel. You brag about accomplishments that aren't yours to what passes for your "friends" and they reward you with empty applause. Empty. Like everything else in your life. You have never possessed one ounce of dignity, honor or self-respect. Others do not respect you. In all likelihood they will NEVER respect you.
I do not wish death upon the likes of you. I do not wish for you to end your vapid, hollow existence. Instead, I revel in the knowledge that, with each year that passes, with each year you descend more and more into the despair and depression that will inevitably follow your teen years. I wish I could be there to see the look on your face as the revelation hit you. The revelation that you are nothing and always have BEEN nothing. I wish I could be there to tell you, "I told you so" with a wry smile on my face.
That this will never happen, is my only regret. Enjoy what passes for your life, child, because in a few years when adulthood hits you with full-force, you will not even be REMOTELY prepared for it.