Hold it! This isn't looking too good for me. I'm the one on the right, unfortunately. Did you know the average bear has 116 teeth? Trust me on this one. If you're wondering how I ended up here, we're going to have to rewind a bit.
*REWIND EFFECT* - Cut to Leo in a crib.
Aww look at me! Wait a minute this is too far back!
*FF EFFECT* - Cut to Leo as a child in a coonskin cap and backpack on a picnic table.
There's the little guy! See, as far back as I can remember, I always wanted to go on a big furtrapping expedition. I dreamed about it night and day. I had my whole life planned out, studying orienteering before my times tables. Now I didn't know it yet, but even on the best planned adventures you can have 20 years of preparation under your belt, but with the crack of a gun or the snap of a twig, suddenly things can get pretty hairy!
*Kid Leo leaps triumphantly off the table and fades to silhouette. Two bear paws come up from the side of the screen and hold him. Delicate piano track fades in [Note: Pretty much follows https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PNA7DcVppEs [Embed] but replace the women with bears]
holy fuck you deserve 500 replies for this post no 1000 replies! NO NO NO OVER 9000 REPLIES!! HIRO INCREASE THE REPLY COUNT this thread deserves to be pinned and to never be shut down I would love to see this thread up for years to come.
Hugh Glass has 30 days to heal 127 bones, stop 2 Indian spirits from never being able to leave the shadow world, and 1 un-bear-able problem
they have the rule because the whole sub became ironic images of people on 4chan mentioning r/4chan and the whole sub giggling and upboating them.
anyway, a friend told me that they do that. but seriously if you ever want to sell reddit accounts on craigslist to companies that shill there, r/4chan is the BEST place to farm karma. you don't even need OC, just find a post from last week and resubmit and boom 400 link karma.
Yeah. Companies basically are the only people that post on the major subs. Also: the State Department was famous a few years back for doing this. They want accounts that look authentic, so they buy accounts with a certain amount of karma.
It's why reddit is shit. It's literally all shills. r/movies for instance is entirely studio interns advertising movies.
loving every laugh.
>*REWIND EFFECT* - Cut to Leo in a crib.
>Aww look at me! Wait a minute this is too far back!
Fucking nailed it
>Now I didn't know it yet, but even on the best planned adventures you can have 20 years of preparation under your belt, but with the crack of a gun or the snap of a twig, suddenly things can get pretty hairy!
This sentence is fucking awful. It needs reconstructive surgery. Next time don't get too excited wanting to post the latest memes on le 4chan you serf.
>tfw your wife's son doesn't let you have doritos anymore
You're an awful person anon. Don't bring his hopes up, and stop being sarcastic. Just because he can't see it, doesn't mean I can't. It was shit, like other anons have pointed it out, don't goad him
You're dumb as fuck desu baka senpai
This was one giant turd, in fact it was so fucking boring i took a fap break two times through out and didn't even bother finishing the last 40 mins or so instead just skiping through it to the shitty ending
Literally the only thing this has going for it is the tracking shot in the beginning but that's just to get people committed so they don't immediately see what a piece of shit this is and stop watching
Pretentious redditurd hipster SJW garbage
>how the fuck is it sjw garbage
Did you even WATCH the movie you fucking tumblredditurd retard?
>DUDE WHITE PEOPLE STEAL LE INDIAN LAND XD
>DUDE EVIL STRAIGHT WHITE VILLAIN GUY
>DUDE THE FRENCH FRONTIERSMEN ARE ALSO EVIL WHITES WHO RAPE INDIANS AND KILL THEM
>DUDE THE MAIN CHARACTER HAS AN INDIAN SON WHICH MEANS HE'S ONE OF THE GOOD GUYS FIGHTING AGAINST LE EBIL WHITE PATRIARCHY
Literally tumblr the movie, the director is an anti-white spic faggot too so it's not surprising
And let's not forget where in the beginning the protagonist cuck dude literally says to his son
>THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU SAY, THEY ONLY SEE THE COLOR OF YOUR SKIN
"DUDE EVIL WHITES LMAO"
YOU FUCKING IDIOT
>His son and wife are from a different tribe
>most of the white guys are hard working Americans you fuckwit
>Leo fuked a bear and took it like a man
>he was barely alive and revenge drove him for the whole movie
>YEAH I JUST FUCKING WATCHED IT
>The Indians were the fucking bad guys at the start and for majority of the film you fukhed did you not see the bit where they murdered 30 hard working White Americans
What because a white selfish coward is white that means he can't be a fucking badguy? fuck off you racist idiot go back to reddit.
Hey fuckhead how is he a cuck he fucked a Indian chick had a kid and then raised him and brought him on a skinning trip more manly than anything you have done in your entire life you fat neckbearded autistic retard, It's a fucking good movie and if you wanna play the "OOh HOlLY Wood IS CUck kek IMA So Egdy Boohoooo A WHITE GUY IS THE BAD GUY uhh ma feelings are hurt" then go the fuck off to tumblr and make shitty arguments why movies suck you TWAT.
Hahaha toppest kek OP! One of the most genuinely hilarious rants I've ever had the pleasure of reading.