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Just watched the Star Wars movies for the...
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Just watched the Star Wars movies for the first time within the last few days (4-6, then 1-3, then 7 if the order matters). I have a few questions:

How did literally no-one figure out that Sheev was a Sith Lord? He literally had to explicitly tell Anakin until anyone realised it.

Why didn't Qui-Gon appear to Anakin as a force ghost and set him on the right track. Seeing as Qui-Gon was the one who freed Anakin, he'd probably have more respect for him than any of the other Jedis.

Why did Luke inherit the surname "Skywalker"? Wouldn't he have just got his surname from his uncle and aunt? Wouldn't the Empire get a bit suspicious when someone has the same surname as Darth Vader?

C-3PO got his memory wiped, but R2-D2 didn't. Why didn't R2 tell Luke about how he witnessed his birth and his father's fall from grace when they were flying around the galaxy? And why didn't Vader and Obi-Wan not recognise either of them?

How was the Death Star able to blow up entire planets without completely fucking up the gravitational forces around it?

If the first Death Star was destroyed due to a small design flaw, why would they design the second one without ensuring that it's safe from getting blown up by an enemy fighter?

Why didn't Yoda or Obi-Wan tell Luke that lightsabers can protect you from force lightning? Yoda literally says "No more training do you require. Already know you, that which you need."

How did Anakin learn how to force ghost at the end of episode VI? It presumably took Qui-Gon, Yoda and Obi-Wan years to learn how to do it, yet he could do it too. Why didn't Sheev know how to force ghost? Also why did Lucas decide to change the force ghost from old Anakin to Young Anakin? Surely the force ghost would take the form of what you looked like when you die.
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The answer to all these questions is niggers.
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>>64548522

George Lucas was allowed to write the prequels. He made up a lot of dumb shit and that gives us inconsistensies.
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>>64548632
Even if the prequels did create a lot of inconsistencies, it still doesn't explain question 5 and 6. Also it might not explain question 3, I can't remember if they called Vader "Anakin Skywalker" during the OT.
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>>64548522
1. Agreed. Anakin should have at least realized during the Plagueis story.
2. Agreed.
3. Agreed.
4. R2 might not have cared, Vader might not have cared, Obi-Wan might have forgotten... There are a lot of protocol and piloting droids.
5. Agreed.
6. Agreed. Shouldn't have even gone for another Death Star in the first place.
7. Agreed. Maybe they did and Luke didn't care.
8. I always chalk it up to him having a free pass because he's the chosen one. And I imagine you can take whatever form you want as a force ghost. And it's a light side thing. Dark siders can't do it.
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>>64548943
They do refer to him being Anakin several times in the OT
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>>64548522
>Why did Luke inherit the surname "Skywalker"? Wouldn't he have just got his surname from his uncle and aunt?
no need to apply your western laws into star wars
>Wouldn't the Empire get a bit suspicious when someone has the same surname as Darth Vader?
the empire don't know who darth vader is, only sheev knows. As far as they are concerned, all the jedis died
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>>64548943
>>64549131
In ESB, hologram Sheev tells Vader that Luke is the offspring of Anakin Skywalker.
In ROTJ, Luke chats with Vader on Endor and brings up his real name.

Did you even watch the movies?
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>>64548522
>Why didn't Qui-Gon appear to Anakin as a force ghost and set him on the right track
Qui-Gon never became a force ghost did he? I believe his body just falls to the floor and is presumably buried.
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>>64549322
>presumably buried

we literally see him cremated at the end of Phantom with everyone present.
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>>64549322
He becomes not quite a force ghost- only a voice -and teaches Obi-Wan and Yoda how to become full force ghosts
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>>64548522
Only one I don't agree with is the force lightning thing. Luke throws his saber away before it happens. Which is retarded when you've been explicitly told not to underestimate the emperor, but doesn't leave him a lot of options. Maybe he knew how to block magic, but he clearly wasn't ready to do shit.
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>>64549688
He was done fighting lol did you see it?
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>>64549688

He believed in his father. He was right.
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>>64548522
don't waste your time trying to understand this shit star wars is dumb as fuck but 90% of the fans probably watched it as kids or when it first came out
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>>64549688
>>64549722
>>64549754
This is my favorite scene in all of Star Wars
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>>64549827
me too my nigga
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>>64549827
>"I am a Jedi, like my father before me."
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Why didn't Fordo just hide the ring up his butt?
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>>64550086
>Dr. Luke, I'm Jedi
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>>64548522
You realize the second Death Star was under construction right? That's why the fighters were able to enter it. The second's new design didn't have those large exhaust ports anymore but had thousands of centimeter wide exhaust ports across it's surface
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>>64550304
Tell me about Vader, why does he wear the mask?
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>>64550230
hobbits don't have butts and his cloaca was too narrow
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>>64548522
>How was the Death Star able to blow up entire planets without completely fucking up the gravitational forces around it?
Just think about it. If a planet explodes, does its mass disappear?
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>>64548522

I'm no Star Wars fanatic, but I'm pretty sure I've seen explanations for most of these issues.

When making movies, you can't commit to keeping everything 100% consistent, it would be a nightmare and result in worse movies. But in Star Wars's case, there's so much stuff outside of the movies that every little inconsistency or apparent plot hole usually gets an explanation of various degrees of shoehornedness.
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>How did literally no-one figure out that Sheev was a Sith Lord?
The jedi council and specially Yoda were VERY incompetent and badly characterized in the prequels. It's terribly explained and destroys the notion of "strong warriors" we had from the OT.
>Why didn't Qui-Gon appear to Anakin as a force ghost and set him on the right track?
Somehow they only remembered the force ghost thing in the last film, and in the last minutes too. I'm guessing shitty writing.
>Why did Luke inherit the surname "Skywalker"?
The priority was hiding the kids from Vader, but Vader was told that his wife and kid died, so it's not like he was looking for Luke. Despite that, if he had remembered going to Tatooine to his mum's old home he'd definitely find Luke.
>C-3PO got his memory wiped, but R2-D2 didn't. Why didn't R2 tell Luke about how he witnessed his birth and his father's fall from grace when they were flying around the galaxy? And why didn't Vader and Obi-Wan not recognise either of them?
That's a huge plot hole and was never explained.
>How was the Death Star able to blow up entire planets without completely fucking up the gravitational forces around it?
It's Star Wars, fuck physics.
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>>64550864
>If the first Death Star was destroyed due to a small design flaw, why would they design the second one without ensuring that it's safe from getting blown up by an enemy fighter?
The bad guys in these movies are obsessed with building huge planets that destroys planets.
>Why didn't Yoda or Obi-Wan tell Luke that lightsabers can protect you from force lightning?
Can they? In Episode III Mace Windu uses his light saber to counter Sheev's lightning but that's not like saying it's a safe protection. Remember Windu was very powerful and that Yoda used his bare hands to do the same.
>How did Anakin learn how to force ghost at the end of episode VI?
Because it was a nice way to end the movie. You could say that Anakin was a very strong jedi or something, but I'd say it was bad writing in the prequels, they should've explained it earlier.
>Why didn't Sheev know how to force ghost?
It's implied it's a jedi thing.
>Also why did Lucas decide to change the force ghost from old Anakin to Young Anakin? Surely the force ghost would take the form of what you looked like when you die.
The explanation is that young Anakin was a jedi, and from then on he was Vader, a sith. So, jedi Anakin died when he became Vader.
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vader = father
anakin = manakin
luke = look
sheev = shiv
padme = tampon
obi wan = only one
C3PO = see? three pea. oh
R2D2 = are too (ditto)
han solo = hand so low
leia = outkast - hey ya!
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>>64550896
>Can they? In Episode III Mace Windu uses his light saber to counter Sheev's lightning but that's not like saying it's a safe protection. Remember Windu was very powerful and that Yoda used his bare hands to do the same.
Obi-Wan's lightsaber was able to absorb Dooku's lightning in episode II. Presumably Yoda knew this too. Alternatively Yoda could have taught Luke how to use his bare hands to absorb it.

>The explanation is that young Anakin was a jedi, and from then on he was Vader, a sith. So, jedi Anakin died when he became Vader.
But Vader turned back to the light side after he betrayed Sheev. And presumably young Anakin didn't know how to force ghost before he became Vader, it would have been something he learnt after he became Vader.
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>>64548522
Prequels aren't canon in the OT.
Being on Tatooine is the hiding, galaxy is big enough. Who needs a name change? People have the same last names all the time.

Why are you bringing up gravity problems with the Death Star? It blows up planets and that probably does affect the orbits of other planets in that system but it's also Star Wars not an episode of TNG.
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>>64548522
>How did Anakin learn how to force ghost at the end of episode VI? It presumably took Qui-Gon, Yoda and Obi-Wan years to learn how to do it, yet he could do it too. Why didn't Sheev know how to force ghost? Also why did Lucas decide to change the force ghost from old Anakin to Young Anakin? Surely the force ghost would take the form of what you looked like when you die.
Because to become a force ghost (essentially becoming immortal by joining your consciousness with the force, the sith ultimate goal) you need to release the self. Whereas the sith think it comes from the exaltation of self.

Anakin achieved that when he sacrificed himself to save Luke
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