Harry Potter was easily one of the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the seriesüf only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.
Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but itüfs certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.
>a-at least the books are g-g-good though "No!" The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."
I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King
slytherin girls: probably a lot of them are pretty stuck-up, come from really wealthy, well-connected families. Some solid wife material ladies here but not exactly where you'd do to get an easy lay. although I bet if you can get in there, there's a lot of the 'cocaine and leather whip' type sex parties that the rich like to have.
ravenclaw girls: a lot of them are probably completely unfuckable, but also probably a pretty healthy contingent of kinky, hotter than they realize nerds. i bet there's a good, underrated, untapped vein here.
gryffindor girls: probably a lot of jocky, fun girls. I imagine probably pretty easy to get laid if you're relatively alpha, it seems like a fun loving house. but you have to come correct and be bold, i bet if you're a meek loser, a house where girls have self-confidence would not go well for you.
hufflepuff girls: a lot of fat, desperate, loser types, weird girls, and so on. the kind that want to stay in on weekends and just chill out and do nothing interesting. but I bet there's also the kind of girls who just like to party and get fucked up and fuck. i bet there are some easy pickings here.
>>64490714 Being in Slytherin is like openly being a neo nazi at a Jewish school. It's the place where all the death eaters' kids conveniently gather in one place. Want to see an end to Voldemorts "army"? Kidnap all the Slytherins and kill them one by one until they surrender unconditionally and turn their comrades in. It's not like they're worthwhile kids to begin with.
lol yeah i mean i bet being in slytherin could really suck because at least a quarter of the slytherin house are fucking frothing wizardo-nazis or weird old-money aristocrats. but i bet the other 3/4 are pretty cool guys, smart and focused, looking to get ahead in the world. you just don't hear about them.
speaking of which, how the fuck did crabb and goyle get in? they were borderline retarded, not cunning or ambitious at all. theres some fucked up wizard nepotism happening there.
>>64491253 No. They're 100%, mustache twisting evil. There are no "good" Slytherins shown because there aren't any. The old reformed ones are still driven by greed or malice in some way and they hero worship a guy that wanted to exterminate and imprison unpure races (not even talking Voldemort, but Salazar Slytherin). Belonging to Slytherin is pronouncing that you're an irredeemable prick at the very best.
Star wars is better but I still enjoy Harry Potter.
As for the movies I think 1-2 are good for the nostalgic value but pretty bland movies, 3 was ok, 4 was good but really lacked detail from the books, 5-6-7 are excellent and 8 was good but also terrible at the same time, mostly the shit ending and bad CGI castle war ruined everything.
>>64492664 The rule that "Slytherins are just jerks because they're Slytherins" was established in the first book which was aimed at 8 year olds. As the series progressed JK fleshed out some major Slytherin characters and introduced good and good/bad flip-flopping Slytherin characters.
>>64493270 just imagine the last battle in Hogwarts if there were fucking airstrikes and machine guns. I'm sure the powerful wizards could repel the bullets, but all those giants and monsters and the students? woulda been toast.
>>64491586 All out of school by the time the first movie/book begins. Irrelevant. Also, Horace was purposely withholding information that could have stopped Voldemort to protect his reputation. Snape was ONLY helpful because Lily died. If it was just James and a Harry, he'd never have switched sides. One redeeming act doesn't make him good. Regulus and Tonks are the only two that have redeeming qualities beyond "they came around eventually". Those two would have been a worthy sacrifice to eliminate decades of warcrimes perpetuated by their ilk.
>>64493482 >All out of school by the time the first movie/book begins. Irrelevant. >these characters don't count because I say so
>Snape was ONLY helpful because Lily died Snape switched sides because he realized that people actually got hurt by his dumb shenanigans. When most people joined the Death Eaters they were teenagers and pretty much like 4chan nerds all pepped up on ideas of supremacy. A lot of them bailed when shit got real and people started dying. Snape didn't just run from the Death Eaters but spent nearly 10 years undercover and died hated alone to undo his wrongs.
>>64494040 Yeah because they were raised by families who believed in wizarding purity and then they were pushed into social groups full of people who shared those ideas. Both Regulus and Snape realized their errors and died trying to atone for them.
>>64494177 >probably the only thing Or she just started developing the universe a lot more and strayed away from the old "bad guys are bad because they are bad." One of the big themes in HP is choosing your destiny. Harry could have been a Slytherin but he chose not to be. Plus he says to his kids that it's okay if you're in Slytherin. Sure they started off typically evil for the sake of evil but the plot required more depth to its characters than that as readers got older and the books became more complex.
>>64494347 Yeah and Snape begged Voldemort not to kill her. Her death just showed Snape that Voldy didn't give a shit about him or any of his followers. Once Voldemort was partially destroyed by the Killing Curse rebounding Snape was pretty much in the clear as long as he kept his head down. He didn't have to join the Order, he didn't have to act as a double agent, he didn't have to die to take down Voldemort.
>yfw when voldemort did nothing wrong >yfw when muggleshits have b een destroying magical history from the beginning >yfw when they celebrate christmas not yule, halloween not samhain >yfw dumbledore is a pandering weak willed leftie cuckold >yfw magics have every right to treat muggles like shit, considering the past crusades against witches and magick in general
After Voldemort is defeated and global wizard equality is achieved, the influx of half-breeds and less-capable wizards into Hogwarts and other magical schools grows dramatically. Criticisms of this change are met with accusations of bigotry, including calls of "you are starting to sound a lot like You Know Who with that talk!" This process continues, with miscegenation becoming "all the rage" for the next hundred years.
By the year 2100, magical blood lines have become so diluted that very few people can actually use magic. Magical creatures find that they cannot communicate with students at school, wands begin to refuse ownership, and tensions rise as "pure" students begin to unite. The fear of a return to the Dark Days is still strong, and those critics who raise concerns over the decline in quality and use of magic are called "bigots" for their anti-muggleblood views.
In more progressive circles, prominent "intellectual" wizards begin to suggest that magic doesn't really exist- not objectively, anyway. It is merely a social construct, and witchcraft and wizardry can manifest themselves in many different forms, most of which don't involve the use of magic at all. This is met with great approval by the majority of muggleborns, though there is still discontent among those who continue to actually use magic "correctly".
To combat growing discontent, the Ministry of Magic decrees that "flagrant displays of magic" are now illegal on school grounds, as this can result in prejudice and feelings of unwelcomeness for muggleborn witches and wizards, who are utterly incapable of casting spells (even those who manage to keep wands). The school removes most of it's "applied magic" curriculum, instead replacing it with "Justice-Oriented Magic" and "Muggleborn Studies", which focus on present-day social issues and the various expressions of "Alternative Magic" that are popular at the time, such as Ouija boards, Tarot cards, and divination of palms and tea-leaves.
>>64494759 Snape was a Potions Master, not necessarily good wizard
Voldemort had immense knowledge of magic in general
Harry was weak as shit, basically only beat Voldemort cause of fate of some other dumb shit
Voldemort was only a hypocrite when he went insane during the 70's, presumably because he split his soul so many times.
100% soul Diary - 50% left Ring - 25% left Locket - 12.5% left Cup - 6.25% left Diadem - 3.125% left Nagini - 1.5625% left Potter - .78125% left
You can see that he really didn't start going batshit until the late 70s.
Look, I just think that JK is a shitty author and wrote these books as some sort of shitty Mary Sue-Gary Sue, leaving Voldemort no personality, goals, or desires. He was just evil snake man, kill kill.
And for all this Dumbledore is best schtick she had going, Dumbledoresure didn't give Tom Riddle a chance. From the moment he met the boy, Tom was "evil" and "couldn't be saved."
>>64491871 >hunger games and twilight star a protaganist with incredibly bland personalities apart from one trait so they can be easily related with in a vague but somewhat interesting setting with very little explained about the world >generic bad guy with generic goals >in the end everyone learns that they are special Face it dude Harry Potter is exactly the same
>>64491925 >implying Harry fucking Potter inspired as many youths with a lasting emotional impact as Luke Skywalker did I doubt that Harry Potter has the GLOBAL recognition that Star Wars does. Even if you havent seen star wars its almost impossible to not know at least one character. Harry Potter is a western phenomenon only, and even then is really restricted to USA, UK, and probably Canada. Star wars meanwhile, is everywhere.
>>64495885 that post was a joke, but every star wars character is extremely shallow... the only change characters go through is from good to evil or evil to good, which is an extremely simplistic and childish interpretation of morality. the star wars universe is much less interesting than people give it credit for, unless looked at from the perspective of a child.
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