I just lost my job three months before I'm supposed to move across the country.
I was talking to my manager about staying within the company when I moved, he asked how soon I'm moving, and I said three months. A week later he brought me in and told me that because the company is downsizing for our department, he's letting me go early, since it would be in their best interest to keep someone around who's going to stay with them.
I absolutely don't know what I'm going to do now. All the money I had saved for the move is now being used just to live. My girlfriend already moved up there, and it sucked that I was stuck here for three months away from her, but now it looks like I'm trapped here. I hate california.
I actually gained control I've got a job teaching for $35 an hour I have to get up at 6am which is only just later than I would usually go to bed so adjusting to that is hell, but I'm actually having fun teaching and helping kids learn shit
>>962279 >gonna once again try to not go to sleep so I can fix this terrible sleep schedule. >Probably won't work and I'll continue my cycle of putting off the responsibility of actually giving a shit about my life. are you me? I can already feel a headache coming on, I won't be able to stay up much longer. I knew that I'd have problems getting my shit together, but I never anticipated this being one of them. It's going to take a lot of hard work but I think this year will be better for me.
Playing Grim Dawn, trying to find a mango to read although /wsr/ isn't too terribly helpful, teaching myself maths through khanacademy, needing to spend more time practicing viola, wishing I was better at swing dance, hoping to start graduate school in the fall, and hoping I can start a small job sometime within the next few weeks. muh blog
My teaching job is casual work for a university to teach high school kids extracurricular stuff, it's only casual work and it's uni funded which is probably why the pay is high
in a real teaching job, how is the pay calculated? Do you only get paid for the hours you spend teaching at school, or do you submit logs of all of your preparation time hours at home too? We get paid for all of the preparation time as well, I have no idea if that's how the real school industry works
I got the gf, ironically, from playing league of legends pre season 1. I was 16 and she was 14, we ended up plating a lot of wow and vindictus and hit it off really well. Our parents would visit back and forth. She moved here for awhile, but California is expensive, and she could go to uni up there for much cheaper. Her education is a lot more important than my tech support and networking certificarions, so I'm moving up there
But now all this shit happened, who knows when I'll be able to move.
>>962302 you've obviously never had a woman be attracted to you before or you'd understand why this would be stressful, especially in anon's particular situation that pain i've felt, when you wanna and you could but you better sure as fuck not
>>962301 I somehow got lucky if you wanna call it that and became very perceptive so I pick up on things easily and remember specific details about people along with understanding other perspectives (many people believe everybody is the exact same, it's astounding.) Humans are some illogical creatures most of the time. We do some truly odd shit for little rational reason.
>>962302 It's not easy I like my job and want my students to be successful. The girls who approach me know they are attractive. I usually tell them to come back once they've graduated but it's hard, anon. I want to commit a crime.
just got done drinking with friends, playing some weirdass boardgame called quelf and playing smash. ate a whole bunch of jack in the box tacos because taco bell was closed for some reason and just released hurricane asstrina. everytime i feel like i have to fart im not sure if itll be liquid solid or gas my ass is a fucking 6th grade science quiz i swear to god i might shit myself tonight on accident wish me luck
>>962313 One of the teachers at the high school I went to just got busted for some shit like that. Pretty upsetting to see it happen to him, he was a nice guy. What's the worst that could happen if you wait until after they graduate their senior year?
>>962271 I mean I get used to myself at night, it takes that long sometimes. The first thing in the morning I feel sort of undefined, but by midnight you've done all the things you have to do, I mean all the things like meeting people and, you know, and paying bills, and by night those things are done because by then there's nothing you can do about them if they aren't done, so there you are alone and you have the things that matter, after the whole day you can sort of take everything that's happened and go over it alone. I mean I'm never really sure who I am until night, he added. -William Gaddis, The Recognitions
>>962315 It's hard. I feel pathetic because girls are literally throwing themselves at me. Most won't came back for obvious reasons. I could fuck all the good looking girls and possible go to jail. It just isn't worth it.
>>962317 Technically nothing but even if they graduate I can be in hot shit.
I lost control a long time ago, now I've regained it.
1 year sober, no more drugs or alcohol and I've been a month without medications. It's been hell, but it's been worh it. No more suicidal thoughts, no more depression, I can socialize way better now, no more anxiety, no more voices or weird stuff. I also lost 50 pounds and apparently I'm kinda handsome, 2 girls have asked me out this week. I'm excited about life again, meeting new people and looking forward to starting a new career.
>fired from previous job >felt that stain on my resume would keep me from getting a good job >broken up about it for a day or so >immediately hired at security agency >will have experience related to my law enforcement career
I know this is going to likely just get me flak, but does anyone here know if an English Lit degree is honestly worth anything? I wanted to do Comp Sci but failed calc a few years back and now retaking it felt like it added on my already weapons-grade anxiety that I had to drop it. I can get the English Lit major pretty easily and get out of school with a degree, at least.
>No motivation to keep writing a story I'll end up never sharing with anyone >See no real point in going on >Suicide seems like a great idea at this point
First world problems. I remember hearing constantly how poor people in Africa eating dirt every day had a lower suicide rate.
Honestly, I think it's because being through shit is their "normal". Once they get a taste of a good life and realize all the shit you need to do to keep it good, I'm sure they would off themselves quickly.
Also, I may or may not have cancer on my balls. I'm not checking either way. I'd rather just let it grow and kill me. On the bright side, I'm really looking forward to some vidya coming out in 2016.
>>962337 Well I knew that, I just wanted to know if English Lit was worth *anything*. >>962338 I'd like to but I struggle hard in situations I'm not totally sure I'll be good at. Calculus 1 and 2 are needed for the degree and I'm not very familiar with calculus, so I'd get so anxious I'd fucking vomit thinking about going to class.
I've got a list of psychologists who'll hopefully recommend psychiatrists so I can actually get a grip on my shit. I'm not stupid, I just stress the fuck out and lose all motivations to study calculus.
You literally do not need calculus to do computer science Programming is more logic based than mathematics based (so you'll need to understand things like 'if this is true, do this' rather than 'find the third derivative of this formula')
>>962345 It's needed for the upper division comp sci classes as a prerequisite. I've taken basic programming classes, but to go further it's required I take Calc 1 for the next level class and Calc 2 for the one after that.
>>962346 Yes. I'm at CU Boulder. If I was willing to move to Denver I could pick and easier campus, but CU Boulder is considered a pretty decent school while those Denver schools aren't seen as "prestigious". Also my only friends are here in Boulder and the thought of living in Denver is fucking awful.
>went to one semester of community college >realize i have no direction >can't even bring myself to go back and pick up more classes What's the point? I don't even know what I want to do with my life. I just want to play video games and write music forever
>Worthless NEET >Live with mother but practically are roommates >No longer speaking to each other >Have to force myself to draw fetish commissions to buy my own food >Want a job but minorities move in and raise families into all entry level positions >School makes me want to kill myself
I wish prostitution or some other super degrading job became legal/viable because I have no skills beneficial to society. I've learned how worthless certifications are. Not quite ready for suicide yet but if something doesn't work out this year the wheels are going to start turning on that thought.
>>962360 From what I understand, unless you want to go to Japan for work later it's not particularly helpful. Being a translator, professional or freelance seems to be a rough, somewhat unsafe field. If you want to learn as a hobby for games/anime I recommend it, the resources are out there for self study.
>get off my ass and finally move out >go travelling and meet a lot of people >begin studying law at university >quit after less than one semester >now back to my hikki ways Well, at least I moved out right?
>>962363 hikki is better and worse on your own. At the one hand you can not give a shit and do what you want when you want, at the flip side you will have some moments where no one is around and you get crunched by loneliness. That almost physically hurts but after a while it goes away to make place for apathy.
It would mainly be as a hobby but I would also like it as an extra credential on the resume if possible
I've been looking through genetickanji.com just doing a few characters a day to get some prereading done effectively, I know in the first subject they teach 50 kanji and I'd imagine possibly hiragana and/or katakana as well, plus also actual speaking
I've got basically just electives left in my degree so I figure that it might be worth a shot at least, if I really hate it or find it too much work when I have other projects to do for uni I could always drop it
I havent lost control. Lost control implies I had some kind of control in the first place. I feel like I'm going nowhere fast. I wanna go back to studying so I can get out of my dead end job but everything I'd want to study wouldn't actually get me a decent job. I feel trapped. I hate it. I hate myself.
But I did finally get started on working through my back catalog, just beat Dishonored. Man, worst morality system ever. I feel like I got 3 quarters in and all the characters decided I was an asshole and turned on a dime and started hating me out of nowhere. Super short is well. Took me about 9 hours to beat. I'd be pissed if I paid full price, but the twist was nice.
>>962367 Oh ok, well that's a good plan especially if it's just a throwaway elective and you have no other idea. I self studied and have no experience in schooling with Japanese but I would imagine getting all that basic stuff out of the way would be ridiculously helpful, kana and starting kanji was such a huge hump in my learning and having to be on a deadline to learn it sounds like hell. The classroom experience I imagine would be more useful with grammar and speaking and stuff, I guess in this situation it doesn't sound like a waste
It takes so long to comprehend even the most basic games without a dictionary, though.
>going to dmv to get license today >then going to enroll in college as a 22 yo freshman at least i get mistaken for being a 15 year old so people don't realize how much i've fucked up my life when i was 16 i came to 4chan and met two different 23 year olds in steam threads (before they went to hell in a handbasket) who had spent their entire lives NEETs playing MMOs, reading manga, and shit posting they tried to warn me but i didn't listen /v/, I DIDN'T LISTEN
>>962373 I have Dishonored but didn't play it yet, it bothers me whenever I hear about these kinds of black and white morality systems.
My favorite game regarding moral choices is Deus Ex. Primarily because there is no slider telling you you did good or bad, you get to decide it, and you experience the consequences. I'm SURE there's other games that do this well, consequence based stuff on your actions with no 'karma' system but in Deus Ex it's my favorite example.
>>962371 I have no problem speaking with people, I actually have a pretty decent time talking with people. Its just that I cant put in effort. Basically everyone says "you got talents but jesus youre so lazy". You are expected to put in 40 hours per week in your study but I barely hit 20. If I actually did work on it I probably passed everything without a hitch. Its just that im a lazy piece of shit and I know it.
Anyway, dont be too problematic with not being able to talk with people, they like to talk themselves so just learn how to egg them on.
>>962375 yeah witcher has the same setup. It is actually simple, just make both choices have positive and negative consequences. Works a lot better than a system where youre either jesus incarnate or a dickhead
Don't lose your job kids. Wake up. I mean it. You can't be lumbering through life in a daze. Set that alarm, take care of yourself. Time is your most precious resource and you should keep watch of it. The alternative, if you have a job, is terrible beyond belief. I saved so much money. So much. Was so proud of myself. And it all just got obliterated. I have to rebuild. It's not fun, but this wasn't enough to crush me. So I'll keep continuing on.
I don't know if I should go to college, military, or whatever. It's been keeping me up each night because I keep envisioning failing at life itself. It's probably small when compared to others though, it's only stressful I guess.
>Get home from work. >It's already midnight. >Friends are all asleep. >No one to talk to. No voices to hear acknowledging you and you; them. >Just sitting here in deafening silence, begging fate to wake one of them up, even if only for a few minutes before I go to bed.
I wish I could catch cancer. That way I'd be able to drop everything and live a few lazy years with reading, writing and vidya before I kick the bucket, and no one will blame me for being a useless shit.
>>962394 Yeah worst part is that I asked my high school chem teacher about it and he was like "yeah I did extra math but shits easy yo" while it is only easy if you are somewhat good with math. I managed to pass calculus I but then they have 2 mechanics courses and a linear alg.+multivar.calc course and Im currently busy failing those.
>>962375 I like games without the slider. We don't have a tangible moral compass in real life, so when the options are less black and white in the game it feels like a good thing. I enjoy having to take a moment to think about my decision because I'm not sure whether or not I'll like the outcome. It's made even better where they give you one of those and throw a time limit in to choose it.
>>962397 >get her back >she is happy for 1 week >then she starts taking shit to you because everyone convinced her you were a heartless dick for leaving her >then she starts feeling better than you for being the only person pushing the relationship to advance. >then in the end you just get emotionally drained by that emo vampire seriously dude ive been here. Women ho constantly get validated by their friends about how shit you are are terrible. You just get sucked dry and then left to rot.
>>962373 Not surprised. It was so poorly implemented. The funnest powers and upgrades are all lethal, and the most fun I had with the game was experimenting with different ways to take out guards. The game punishes you for having fun with it. What a shit system.
>>962377 I want to do this but I'm too reliant on my mom to handle my issues when they arise. If I ever have any medical problem I just call her and she sets everything up for me. I'm afraid to tell her that I'm depressed because last time I told her she just brushed it off. How do I gain access to my own medical insurance and get therapy? I'm not sure how this works.
>>962379 You'll be fine duder. That feeling is totally normal and the sooner you accept that it's all part of growing up the sooner you'll feel better. Just don't play any fucking Kingdom hearts games, they'll bring you down.
I'm a mess to be honest. I sleep erratically, I'm 40 pounds overweight, I have little to no friends at all. I also feel like less of a person because everywhere I go everyone's always bigger and taller, even some girls (and I'm not even that short at 5'8). I actually l got back earlier from a pub with my cousin and a few of his friends, and I feel like shit because I'm awkward as fuck in social situations. So I'm sitting on his couch ruminating about all the things I hate about myself.
>Married my GF/best friend >She has epilepsy and works from home >I was going to school for computer science and working part time >She wanted me to be home more so I quit my job she makes enough >Spiral into video games and anime junkie life >Schoolng goes to shit and get kicked off campus >Get into online technical school >She doesnt mind supporting me while I go to school but constantly talks about looking forward to me making enough that she can take a break from working so much >I don't have the heart to tell her I've already gotten kicked out of Tech School >Lie to her every day that I'm doing homework when I'm really on 4Chan >Waiting for the day it all comes crashing down >Waiting for the last good thing in my life to walk out >Waiting until I can kill myself without leaving anyone sad about it
But in the meantime, these video games sure are fun.
>>962415 Not too sure about the insurance to be honest, mine have all been through an employer. Try looking on the obamacare site, there should be a FAQ or something that explains how to set up a plan. That, or just have her book you an appointment as though it's a checkup or a physical or something and when you see the doctor tell them about your depression and see what they recommend.
Thinking of breaking up with my gf. I love her and have been trying to make it work for almost two years but I feel like last weekend was the final straw. She almost does nothing in the relationship and when things don't go her way she goes on fits about how I don't love her. I've been making friends and we had a LAN party on Sunday, she could have went with me or told me she wanted to do something else but she didn't want or say anything so I went, she pouted and wouldn't hang out after then did her whole hissy fit again. I had it. Here is her beautiful fat ass.
I just got accepted into a full time position at an Australian pathway college (around $80K annual pay) but I also work part time at Monash University. Will probably start looking to buy my own property. Still single though and can't really see myself having a gf in the near future.
Having less time to play games. I only either play LoL with my housemates or browse /v/. I gave up with fallout 4 as I wasn't captivated by it like FO3, and the bugs does not help at all.
>>962271 >writing my master's this semester. >have to start working after that >I don't want to. >at least I won't be a poorfag anymore >just want to be home and work on my video game and make shitty music
>parents are friends with some people in the neighbourhood >they had a son who was studying >3 years in he was ready with his bachelor >they are getting ready to take a day off to attend his bachelor graduation >one day they find a note on the table >he dropped out after half a year and the last two and a half years he lied about studying, just did fuckall >dread I will end up the same as him. Leading to a perpetual war between my laziness and my fear of ending up like him
>>962448 >>962429 depression is worse than pretty much everything else in a social situation. People dont know how to deal with it so they just try to avoid you to prevent them from hurting you, making it worse. It depends on psych but most ive seen are terrible and youre better off blowing them off rather than being honest with them. As shit as it sounds.
>>962437 Dump her, hit the gym, get swole and work on your appearance. If you're a fat, ugly, low self esteem piece of shit like you say, she's probably looking to control you. Don't let that happen, kazoku.
>>962444 Shit sucks Sorry senpai >>962448 >implying I have anyone that would feel sorry for me I have perfectly fine internet and food right now senpai I don't want to talk to a shit ton of docs about my problems >>962453 In my country I am not allowed to own guns because of my mental problems already
>>962443 >>962449 >>962451 He admitted he was 17 and if a psychologist thinks there is a real danger you will kill your self they can break patient/doctor confidentiality. They may either inform the police and have you institutionalized (usually they will try to convince you of this and not just do it to you) or if you are underage they will tell your guardian.
I understand why you'd be pissed anon but your loved ones knowing you are suicidal is a good thing, trust me.
>>962437 It souns annoying as fuck anon but if you're gonna dump her you mine as well make one last attempt to tell her how you feel. That you feel she never wants to do anything and you feel like she never wants you to hang out with other people.
Don't be accusatory, be inquisitive (even if she's obviously the one at fault if everything you say is true). Try to act like you just want to understand and you have a better chance of working things out.
If you've tried that though and it hasn't worked there is nothing else but therapy and it's obviously not worth that.
>>962271 Right now i'm trying to figure out how in the absolute fuck I'm going to fix my life, it' so much shit going on that i seriously don't know what the fuck i'm going to solve all this shit. Also playing some MEtro Redux
>>962467 She's been through therapy and it only worsened the relationship in Fall 2015. The therapist told her to find someone else to date. She hated all the dates and it was really strong since then but my feelings have dropped since her claiming I don't have feelings for her after the whole therapist thing and letting her do it. She claims she knows how lazy she has been and has something planned for Valentines but she only acknowledged that after its evident I'm thinking of breaking up.
>>962459 >>962465 Correct they are from the beginning when we met to Saturday morning so yeah a lot changed.
slowly regaining control. finally got a job after like 2 years of being unemployed. sleep schedule is still fucked but it's fucked in a manageable way, so whatever. i'm not giving up pot though if i can avoid it, that shit's getting me through life.
>>962481 Valentine's isn't really that special. But last year I had a heart shaped Bamboo plant delivered to her workplace and she really liked that. Shit was expensive, like $90 total, thought a bamboo tree would be longer lasting than flowers but she managed to kill it.
>>962437 If that's the case, enjoy her beautiful ass and just ignore her bullshit. Say sorry and whatever. Make it work somehow. You don't need to act like a little bitch, though. Go to LANs and what not, but make up some excuses to her so you can still fuck her.
Start working out, and dump her AFTER you got fit. Otherwise you will regret it, fap to the memories of cumming on her ass and won't work out whatsoever, while she gets a new guy tomorow, whereas it will hard as fuck for you to find a new gf.
Anyone else get really stressed playing video games, because you focus too much on enjoying them?
For me, I have to be in a good mood to play a game, because if I'm not then I might not enjoy it as much and then I'll feel like shit for not liking a game, especially if it's part of an established series I like.
And I absolutely can't play single-player games with other people around, because they'll take me out of it, which again causes me to feel like shit.
It's pathetic as hell but video games are currently my only hobby and I'm not much of a happy person to being with. I've tried getting into other hobbies but I'm never in the mood for it.
>>962495 sounds like you need to go back to the police when it happens again. If someone tells you to not bother again, ask to see someone else. Keep going back. File a complaint against the person turning you away. Also, leave her. Holy shit. I never understood this Stockholm Syndrome bullshit.
>>962490 I know she will but I have been dealing with this off and on for almost 2 years. Starting to feel like I'll be better off without her. Sex is good but takes like a half hour to get her aroused. The effort is almost not worth it.
>>962496 It's far, far worse to have loved and lost and be lonely, than it is to just be lonely to start with.
When you're lonely without experiencing it, you can romanticise it, make it this big thing in your head, imagine how perfect it would be, thinking of all the ways you could meet your perfect waifu and having a happy life together.
But you know what's far worse? Getting that, and then losing it. Knowing that YOU fucked it up. Knowing you had something perfect, the thing you've wanted so badly for so long, and then losing it. That is far, far worse than just being lonely.
>>962507 When the PS3 launched and I had a shitty retail job I got my first credit card, and I figured "Well I have a steady job, why not". Literally the next month after I bought it, I lost my job. Only place I could find work was part-time minimum wage taco bell and burger flipping jobs and that just barely let me afford rent and food.
Of course though I learned at 18 to not ever fall in that again. But most people don't learn it that soon with that small of a purchase.
>>962516 Rent money is dead money. At the same time, though, if you're patient and not a fucking idiot you can acquire a modest house with little debt, or an apartment with none. Too bad we live in an age where people want things immediately, without having to wait.
>>962523 Everyone I know who got one of those things has killed it. Normies don't look after shit they get. Also gift plants like that tend not to be well potted and die easily unless you were lucky and got a good one.
>mfw I see a potted plant that has glued together rocks on top of the soil
>>962539 I'll try my hand at the end of this year, she's already knocked back another one of my friends (Which I watched happen gleefully) but if she's not willing to put out or even consider being more than friends I'm going to stop hanging out with her for good.
Doesn't help I'm already deeply entrenched in the friend zone
>social life is strangely alright, was out with friends today >drinking ice tea and browsing some threads >haven't got work to do for the rest of the day so i'm chillin' >drew loads of crappy oc these weeks and people liked it >considered becoming a drawfag since people want one but i don't know what name i should choose >played degenerate bingo and i lost because i'm surprisingly not degenerate >porn chart says my tastes are "normal" i'm so happy, yeah.
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