/ccg/ Custom Card General /cct/

>>54621010
Commons always feel like tricky design space to me, since I often end up giving them enough complexity that I have to move them to uncommon instead.

Hard to have a lot of interesting interactions when anything more than three lines seems a bit much.

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Sorry, I'm no good at commons.

Unfortunately I think you picked a bad time to make a new thread, in the morning like this people are probably going to be busy until this evening.

>>54622837
I feel like just the recursion would make it uncommon. Could be wrong though.

>>54622837
A couple words were missing. "from your graveyard"
>>54622869
Skeletons are kind of known for recursion, aren't they?

>>54622892
>Skeletons are kind of known for recursion, aren't they?
That affects rarity how?
http://magiccards.info/query?q=r%3Acommon+o%3A%22%7E+from+your+graveyard+to+the+battlefield%22&v=card&s=issue

>>54622854
got a source on that image, anon?

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>>54624187
Here's the original. I looked for the page I pulled it from GameArtisans.org but it unfortunately looks like they're dead. Shame, they had some great stuff.

I was able to fine the artist's DA page, and he does have some other works for Ghost, but not this one.
http://panick.deviantart.com/gallery/?catpath=%2F&edit=0&q=ghost

>>54622854
Card seems rather strong for its effects, though it's also quite mana hungry and vulnerable to pings.

As for the tread timing, I concur. I'd post some stuff I was working on, but I'm on mobile for a while yet.

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Slightly tweaked so the triggers are "target opponent" instead of "each opponent", but otherwise pretty similar to the last version.

>>54625092
Thanks for the feedback. And as far as mobile goes, I guess you could just use text, or MTG.Design.

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>>54625129
And another one inspired by another Hasbro property. For the record, in FiM, Pegasi fly, Unicorns have magic, and Alicorns have both. So here, Flying represents, well, flying, and Hexproof represents magic.

>>54625152
The creature token needs a color specified, either white or blue or colorless.

>>54625180
Whoops. I was undecided on the color and forgot to fill it in. I guess I'll make it WU.

>>54625200
I was just giving examples to clarify what i was talking about. I'd say monowhite would be more fitting, or you could go full under-set and make it pink

>>54625244
I don't really think White creatures should normally have static Hexproof. As for pink, I was kinda avoiding going into Un territory, but I guess I might as well.

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First draft of Remembrance cards, too bad I didn't come up with the keyword. Just throwing stuff at the wall to see what sticks.

>>54625273
White green might be better if you're worried about that, Those are the standard unicorn and Pegasus colors. Also, it matters a lot less when you have it as part of an artifact anyway.

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So how is this guy as a custom commander? Broken? Jank?

Any way you'd make it better?

>>54625341
For the first, the Rememberance effect feels really expensive. Compared to the second card, you'll have to attack with the things you want to pump, have them survive, and then have a way to reliably kill the thing so you don't waste 5 mana because your opponent didn't kill it. Compare that to 1 mana for one counter and the second is much better.

I would say the second will have a harder time dying though, and would mainly be useful for discarding.

The Orzhov card really doesnt feel White at all, and could easily be monoblack. The cost itself seems fine, and the benefit is more universally useful compared to the first since it doesnt require as many things.

Linebreaker I really like, since it functions well as a card on its own even before Rememberance. It isn't centered around dying, but has a nice benefit if it does. I might say the numbers could be looked at, since a potential 3/1 with first strike and haste for 2 is quite scary. Perhaps consider making it a 1/2 and a +1/+0?

The blue seer is in a similat vein to the earlier druid. Decent effect, but will only end up in the grave if you go our of your way.

Something about the cost on the grovekeeper feels off to me, but I'm not sure what

The Knight seems fine, though not quite as interesting as the linebreaker.

This feels like the sort of mechanic that works well for on cards that will be attacking or blocking a lot. Their effects can give them value at that role, and that role makes them more likely to die and be used later.

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>>54625341
>Ferocious Martyr
Still think it shold specify your creatures, since an opponent could exploit the death trigger with something simple like sorcery-speed removal.

>Vichehold Channeler
Eh, OK I guess. I suppose I just like seeing Remembrance used for static and triggered abilities more.

>Orzhova Insuramancer
Eh, not a fan. Just seems like extra value with no real utility.

>Linebreaker Battalion
Seems like a lot to go through for a relatively small buff.

>Tidepool Rippleseer
Same response as the G one.

>Vicehold Grovekeeper
This too.

>Havenpeak Guardsman
I'd rather it have a bit better body, maybe 2/3. This almost strikes me as something Wizards might make mythic. Just a feeling.

>>54625355
I think I'll just go all Un with it now. Pro changed to protect against villains on the show, but I'm honestly not that familiar with it so let me know if it should be changed.

>>54625488
What the fuck, personal howling mine times two with a scoop of card selection on top? I mean sure you'll mill yourself but with that level of card advantage you're winning before its a problem

I'm not saying it's completely out of the question though, it feels like the kind of eye catching pushed card wotc might actually put out

>>54625951
Weird card. Without playing it I'm not sure I like the mechanic. Seems fiddly and like the kind of thing you wouldn't want to care about.

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>>54625577
>>54625577
Thanks for the in depth response guys, I guess I focused more on making them interesting than realizing the cards need to hit the graveyard often for maximum value, so activated abilitied shouldn't be as common as triggered or static ones.

>Linebreaker

The effect used to be a +1/+1 counter on each creature you control that attacked this turn when it died but I changed it just to try and make it a common rarity.

>Orzhova

I can see that, since it's just sign in blood stapled onto a creature.

>Linebreaker
I could look at the numbers, if the buff was +1/+0 and first strike you think the Remembrance cost could be reduced to 1RW?

And it's only supposed to provide a small buff, at least at that price. A one of buff later in the game after its served its usefulness

>Channeler and Rippleseer
I realize activated abilites sort of work against the nature of the mechanic since it means your creatures stay on the field and don't get remembered.

But what if it used the untap cost?

>Grovekeeper
It's supposed to be good value so I made it rare, seven mana for vigilance and a rampant growth seemed balanced to me.

I'll keep fiddling with this mechanic, I quite like it.

>>54626287
For the creatures that make mana: Maybe something that sacs itself for a ritual?
>R
>T, Sacrifice ~: Add RRR to your mana pool.
>Remembrance R
Or something.

>>54626287
I'm not even sure Grovekeeper is the best value. You have to pay so much for it that you'll never really attack with it. 1/4 with vigilance would be worth 3 mana at most. Then there's the fact that it's ramp that only happens on turn 6 or 7. If the tap effect was styled after Spellshapers and required a discard in exchange for being cheaper, that would help as well.

And of course, 7 mana to recur the effect is quite steep. Wait until turn 7 to cast a 2 mana ramp spell? For what reason?

I think a big problem is trying to make them have repeatable effects. Makes it all a lot harder to gauge

>>54626760
Males a good point, having it be a sac effect works well, since then the cost of the creature and recur effect can be more easily accounted for, and it actively feeds into recurring later.

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Posted most of these before. People seemed to like Wakasagihime.

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>>54626936
>And of course, 7 mana to recur the effect is quite steep. Wait until turn 7 to cast a 2 mana ramp spell? For what reason? I think a big problem is trying to make them have repeatable effects. Makes it all a lot harder to gauge

That is the problem yes, finding that place between a useful effect that's not overpowered when used twice, a creature body and the cost of both effects is difficult without any kind of playtesting

And I realize seven mana is a lot, but I'm just trying to balance the effects of the card. It's not supposed to be a ramp spell you cast from the graveyard, it's just supposed to be utility you have access to once it's gone. If you have nothing else to do on turn seven you can use it, but come later in the game and you don't have any cards you want to play, it's always there as an option. Still though I'll take all the advice I can get on these

>Discard as a cost

That's actually really good, and helps with Remembrace as well, but it might be to pushed if it were spread across across all colors like the spellshapers.

>>54626760
I'm even less sure of costs when it comes to things like this but something like pic related?

>>54627160
Thoughtbeast is a really cool idea

>>54627191
Yeah, discard costs work best when you tie them to things that more directly interact with card advantage, like draw and discard effects.

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>>54621010
Oh hey, commons are my jam! This one's a bit pushed but I like it.

>>54627191
Remembrance wording needs a bit of cleanup, but this should be fine otherwise.

>>54627160
>Night
>Opal enchantment in black
I'm not too sure I'm into this, but in the right set, yeah, sure. In fact, I think it inspires me somewhat... I'll get back to that. I do love this mechanic though and I wish WotC would revisit it.
>Knowledge
I'm actually not that sure about this at common not because it's too complex but because it takes up a slot that could be used for something more necessary. Though I guess since it's a cantrip it lets you cycle through your deck a little so it's not all bad. Eh, I'm fine with it.
>Massage
Now this I would avoid at common because of complexity. Otherwise, seems like a fine uncommon to me.
>Genius
Not bad, but I think red gets bears now for 1R so this might fit.
>Cold
Probably about right, though I don't think anyone would play it since it's sorcery speed and they get one more use out of the land.
>Costs
I am not a fan of counterspells outside blue, sorry.
>Thoughtbeast
Nice card. I'm a big fan of Evoke so that helps.
>Weebahime
Decent card. Landfall decks would love it.

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In the context of an Eldrazi tribal precon, how do these look?

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>>54630253

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>>54630268

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>>54630300

>>54630253
The third ability doesnt seem to do much

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>>54630309

>>54630253
>>54630309
If I could make a suggest in terms of Eldrazi commanders and issues with devoid, lands, and color identity, you could consider modeling them after The Reaper king. Castable with Colorless, but has all the mana symbols to cover the various spawn, including the old colored ones. Throw on devoid and it fits fine.

As for the cards themselves, I think the wording on Kozilek's spell prevention could be improved. Menace also feels odd here.

>>54630268
This seems rather overwhelming. An unconditional Exile is already rather strong, but also having the potential of getting a strong creature still worth that mana out of the deal? Even if you kill something small, it still has annihilator for a 2 for 1. More likely it's going to take out 3 or 4 things before going down.

>>54630300
Seems fine. 5 tokens for 7 mana. Might be a bit crazy since it lets you boost to 12, but that's not really new for Eldrazi.

>>54630309
The command zone ability here seems rather strong. It makes the cheap fodder tokens into huge threats that will be very hard to deal with.

The rest seems perfectly acceptable.

>>54630326
Strong, but also par for the course for Eldrazi. I might say to dial back the mill to 9, just so it totals 11.

>>54630253
Just put colored mana as a cost somewhere.

>>54630268
Art in use, Bane of Bala Ged. As for the abilities, I feel like it should be more than a slightly different version of Duplicant.

>>54630300
A near-reprint of Skittering Invasion? You have to be able to do better than that. Also, art in use, Swarm Surge.

>>54630309
I'm sorry, but none of these cards really set themselves up as being really different from things that already exist. This is just the new Emrakul with even more GoodStuff(TM) attached to it.

>>54630326
Art in use, Pathrazer of Ulamog, DCI printing.

>>54632364
That Ninjitsu cost seems far too cheap for 5 damage to the face.

>>54632512
You already had an unblocked attack, so it's really only +3 or +4 extra damage.

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Pretty sure is just jank. Could possibly abuse etb effects.

Good for blocking.

>>54632364
Always liked this one. I wish I could design commons like this.

>>54632393
>Umbra Lizard
Eh, Umbra and Remembrance just feel like they're fighting for attention here. Even if you want to keep token production, I'd say just change the trigger, like say to combat damage on a player.

>Soultender of Havenspeak
Flash and Flying go on separate lines, the former above the latter, due to how they affect the card. Anyway, this one just feels like too much, mostly the recursion. But if you want to keep it, I'd strongly recommend upping the rarity, possibly even up to mythic, though that would likely call for pumping the body as well. Oh, and the ability should be
>If a creature card would be exiled from your graveyard, shuffle that card into your library instead.
Not only did you mix up triggered and replacement wording, you worded it like it was a spell here.

>Markov Shoulthrull
Untap? Ugh, no thanks.

>>54632680
Completely immune to removal? Eh, no thanks.

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Decided to expand the scorpion's setup into a cycle while I was working through cards last night

>>54633024
Feels odd that that W and B get mileage out of being used multiple times a turn, but the others don't. And why is R not the same cost?

>>54633070
I wasn't sure on the costing on the draw effect, though I suppose it could be bumped up.

It's also not supposed to be the strictest cycle. More just one drops with a keyword that have another option if you are running multicolor

>>54632987
Thanks for the criticisms, this is all new ground balance wise, everything's a rough draft. I think I'll increase the Remembrance cost on the Soultender, the utility is supposed to be for other Remembrance cards so I wanted it to be cheap but one white was probably too cheap, maybe I could make it a 1/1 spirit for 1W instead of being a bear.

>>54633024
I really like the design on Refracting Scorpion, would really make people think about blockers since they'd have to open up multiple creatures to damage.

Plus I'd put it in an EDH deck and give it lifelink and indestructible and infect with a couple swords.

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Apparently, real-life Egyptians would sometimes mummify crocodiles. So yeah.

>>54633569
I'm glad you like the Scorpion. It was the first one I did, and I'm glad for the suggestions I got on it. The others didn't end up quite as concise, though I think I like how they turned out for now.

>>54632364
I like it. Like the name too in tandem with the rest.

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I seriously believe black needs a proper proactive spell, one that isn't just discard. Is the cost fair or too low? I'm unironically thinking of dropping this to the WotC team since they've already stolen one card I made without my knowledge, not that I mind, but it was complete jank

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>>54635277
Instant speed means its basically a counterspell.

>>54635277
>abortion
>B
>instant
>discard the top card of target players deck

>>54634868
Too convoluted.
>>54634848
Too boring.

>>54632393
All these remembrances feel like spells, rather than temporary buffs.

>>54630253
I agree that your Eldrazi feel like boring good stuff.

>>54630030
Decent common.

>>54627191
Again, just feels like a spell.

>>54635339
>black counterspell
That's kind of the idea. Black needs something to fight cancerous ETBs and this is only slightly different from Murdering a creature anyway.

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Need some advice on how to balance this. I'm including the character as part of a quest as a lategame reward, but wasn't sure how to cost.
Was looking for a combo between achaeomancer and master polymorphist, but couldn't decide the best way to do it.

>>54635760
>Black needs something to fight cancerous ETB
Yes, it's called discard. Or playing Islands.

>>54635771
Archaeomancer and Jalira do two very different things that are not very compatible.

>>54635812
Might be why I had so much trouble thinking of something unique to do with this guy. Should I just go the super generic T1U return an instant or sorcery to hand and T1U scry 1 or something? That might be best.

>>54635791
>play blue or don't play at all

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>>54635760
Here you go. Actual card that really exists.

>>54635906
Also destroy all creatures with flying

>>54636175
Yes, then why can't we have an updated version of this one?

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Can I get away with 2U for this?

>>54627564
Thanks.
>>54630030
>>Knowledge
I don't make sets so there are no slots to fight over, but that is a good point.
>>Massage
>Now this I would avoid at common because of complexity.
How is it complex at all?
>>Genius
I feel like the pseudo-firebreathing would need to cost R if the mana cost is 1R, so I like it where it is.
Thanks for the feedback.
>>54634868
Is the -1/-0 until end of turn or permanent? Either way it's overly complicated. I suggest "T, Remove all counters from ~: Put a +1/+1 counter on ~ for each noncreature spell you've cast this turn." Or something along those lines.
>>54635277
This is just a counterspell. Make it an enchantment with a replacement effect and you're good to go. I agree with your sentiment in general, but breaking the color pie is not the way to go.
>>54635749
These are all ok commons. Vista is a neat design.
>>54636452
6 mana Mindslaver is insane, but it's hard to judge how it would play out the following turns. There's probably a deck that wins when it lands this, but for a 6drop that's not unreasonable. Wouldplayincube/10.

>>54637753
>breaking the color pie
See >>54636175

>>54636452
>play with instant speed sac outlet and reanimation
>opponent doesn't get a single turn

>>54638335
There are no reusable instant speed reanimate effects (except the buyback one, but that's only legal in eternal formats where you have better things to do), so you're spending 1+ card per mindslaver turn without dealing any damage to your opponent.
It's strong for sure, but a janky reanimator deck winning with the perfect hand is not a argument for it being overpowered.

>>54638649
>there are no reusable instant speed reanimate effects
Mimic Vat. And you don't even need one, you sac on their turn and reanimate during yours.

>>54638928
If you reanimate during your turn you immediately lose control and the opp makes you sac.
And Mimic Vat won't work under all circumstances as you never have priority to sac it on your turn to put it into the vat.

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r8

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>>54639244

>>54639058
Nevermind, I've read it that it triggers since the start of turn. Well this makes it even easier to abuse, since you don't even need a ready sac outlet. Through the Breach into Mimic Vat, activate Mimic Vat at end of turn, win the board.

>>54640214
A three card combo that loses to discard and artifact hate seems fine to me.

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Still trying to get this down. I want it to be strong without being broken.

>>54637753
>Is the -1/-0 until end of turn or permanent?

It was supposed to be until end of turn. I wanted to allow it to grow to massive sizes, but I also wanted it to depend on prowess to get more counters.

Putting a +1/+1 counter on it for each noncreature spell would have the same effect, but I'm not sure how I feel about it there. I'll look over it some more.

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How do you make laser eyes interesting? Trying my best, but I'm having a very hard time coming up with anything. Guess I should looks up good burn creatures.

>>54639244
>shroud, indestructible
Garbage.

>Can't attack or block
>No way to make it able to attack or block
Why is this even a creature?

>9 lines of text
Garbage

>Name already in use
>On one of the most well-known cards in the game
Do you even play the game or do you just read up on it and think you know how to make cards?

You're probably having fun with this and I can't blame you. If you enjoyed yourself, good for you.
But this card is trite.

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>>54625129
Ditch trample. Flying is enough. I like that the tokens are Allies. Something to consider: in Ixalan, there are "treasure tokens" with the same functionality as Gold tokens.

>>54634868
This is like something out of Fallen Empires. Reminds me of Homarid and Lycanthropy, and not in a good way.

>>54635749
These are all good. Mesmerizing Vista is the kind of thing that people will forget about. Perhaps - "doesn't untap during it's controller's untap step unless you control no untapped lands?", and then some kind of sacrifice trigger?

>>54635771
The tap symbol comes after the mana cost in abilties, separated from the mana cost by a comma. Additional costs such as "exile a card from your graveyard" follow the tap symbol, and are separated from the tap symbol by a comma. See the picture attached to this post for an example.

When referring to a card on that isn't on the battlefield, refer to it as a [Type] card. For example, Snapcaster Mage targets an "instant or sorcery card in your graveyard", not an "instant in your graveyard".

It's important that cards owned by other players never enter your own hand or library - the far left version of Kiet allows you to do this when its first ability targets a card in "a graveyard" rather than "your graveyard", as does the middle version of Kiet.

The correct wording isn't "of the same type" - it's "that shares a type with it". Whenever a library is searched for a specific card or type of card, the searched for card must be revealed and the library must be shuffled. Take note of this when wording the rightmost version of Kiet.

Regarding the second ability of the middle version of Kiet: The splice keyword must be worded "Splice onto [type]" for it to have rules meaning.

There are probably a variety of other wording errors/omissions, but I'm not going to waste any more of my life spoonfeeding you. Read the primer in the opening post, and use scryfall.com to search for the correct wording.

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>>54640543
Just make them Knights.
I have no idea how strong this is, and no one else will either unless and until its been thoroughly playtested. Cost reduction effects are almost always subtly broken.

>>54641875
Isn't Scott's thing that his eyebeams are super precise and can ricochet all over the place with pinpoint accuracy? There's definitely something in that - Arc Lightning? Also, why not give him some kind of Mutant tribal ability? He's a classic team leader, after all.

>>54639244
>240/301
I refuse to believe that anyone with 340 cards in their MSE file can be this bad at design.

>>54642550
>Ditch trample. Flying is enough.
Got it.

>I like that the tokens are Allies.
It was the first thing that came to mind when I thought of what D&D adventurers would be in the MTG universe.

>Something to consider: in Ixalan, there are "treasure tokens" with the same functionality as Gold tokens.
I think those might tap, but are otherwise the same. Guess making Gold tokens is just a reflex. But you're right, I probably should update as Wizards has.

>use scryfall.com to search for the correct wording.
Not him, but this is a cool site. Thanks for sharing.

>>54642717
>Just make them Knights.
Eh, sorry, no. If I use legit Magic types, I'd sooner go with something like Avatar, possibly Incarnation. It's why I used Horseman in the first place, to represent their "otherness".

>Cost reduction effects are almost always subtly broken.
Hmm, true. I think I'll revise it a bit then. Thanks.

>Isn't Scott's thing that his eyebeams are super precise and can ricochet all over the place with pinpoint accuracy? There's definitely something in that - Arc Lightning?
Sounds better than anything I've come up with so far. Thanks.

>Also, why not give him some kind of Mutant tribal ability? He's a classic team leader, after all.
Tribal never comes to my mind naturally, but that sounds like a good idea. Thanks again.

>Flaring Oracle
Hmm, looks interesting.

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I've been in a cycle-y mood as of late.

>>54636452
This is very cool, and fun as fuck, but should probably cost more. One more thing: As written, I think the opponent begins to control you as soon as Parallax Fiend enters the battlefield. Not sure how to prevent that if you didn't intend it.

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Decided to take the advice. This wording is a lot cleaner and more in line with what I wanted. I'm uncertain if I want to keep Prowess. It would allow for making use of the bonuses right away in exchange for the long term, but that's not very Blue.

>>54642905
Those costs seem pretty specific, but also don't entirely line up with the allied colors for the extra effect. Sometimes you're just having the card get in-color effects by making it harder to cast, while in others you're giving them the effect of a second color while having the third be there a bit randomly.

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>>54635277
I'm sympathetic to the idea of black creaturespell counters, but if you're going to do it, at least have to balls to do it honestly. Also,
>implying that WoTC knows or cares about anything posted on a mongolian tarot-reading subforum
>implying that nothing is ever a coincidence
>implying that there's an infinite amount of design space
what I'm saying is that they didn't steal it

>>54625951
Don't you mean imbalanced?
>Balance is all about playing creatures and lands!
>Muh Creatures: The Tappening
>wow make countermagic start at cmc5 too op

>>54625951
no but shitposting aside this is pretty good

>>54643029
>but if you're going to do it, at least have to balls to do it honestly
What does this even mean

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>>54643020
Yeah, three-color design is tricky that way. 02 is definitely the biggest offender, so I'll fiddle around with it.

>>54642911
Better. It's a cute idea. Maybe you could temporary exile it (to remove the prowess buffs) and have it re-enter with the counters?

>>54634848
>>54635479
"Too boring"
Literally the most interesting card to come out of those color pairings.
/tg/ man.

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>>54643148
>>Literally the most interesting card to come out of those color pairings.
Ahem

>>54643120
That's why I had it as a tap effect, in order to make it hard to use the bonuses from Prowess alongside the counters gained. The only circumstance I think it would work in is when you block with it, then tap it to gain the counters. Of course, that's more fitting for Blue, since you'd have to cast a few spells during their turn and then block something.

I might go for exiling if I wanted to cap its size, since right now it can grow quite large as long as you keep casting enough spells to feed it.

>>54642905
I really like the idea of this cycle, but I'm with the other guy, these really don't feel like the colors actually tie into what they do. Like, 02, switching P/T and gaining Flash is really odd. If it were me, I'd ditch the P/T switch and change the color check to
>When ~ enters the battlefield, if WUB was spent to cast it, destroy target nonland permanent an opponent controls.
Or something.

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>>54643117
Just say "counter target creature spell" and be done with it, rather than try to sneak it into black's slice of the pie in a convoluted way.

>>54643298
But it's not just "counter target creature spell". It also kills tokens and creatures cheated in with Aether Vial and friends, and can be played around if you can drop another creature at instant speed.

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>>54643210
The idea with that one was to make it a really efficient surprise blocker. "Destroy target attacking creature with toughness 4 or less", kind of, not really.

>>54643298
I don't even understand why people would want creature counters in the color of creature removal. It would be like giving artifact counters to Red. Also, do people realize that colors should have weaknesses for a reason?

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>>54643347
>It would be like giving artifact counters to Red
Red already has an artifact counter, and it's not completely useless actually.

>>54643347
>why does a color with Doom Blade need Chainer's Edict?
>Also, do people realize that colors should have weaknesses for a reason?
You're acting like Wizards haven't toyed around with the idea of a black counterspell a few times already. It's not like it's artifact/enchantment removal in the color or something.

>>54643381
The color pie changes over time. Red doesn't get artifact counters anymore, just as Black doesn't get creature counters anymore.

>>54643347
I'd argue that every color should have some way of messing around with spells on the stack, even if it's in a limited way.

Blue gets counterspells and wide varieties of other stuff, easy. White gets the occasional counterspell that's tax-based, probably something that's on a creature or enchantment so it isn't a 'gotcha'. Green gets instant-speed Hexproof, to keep people from messing with its stuff. Red gets Copy and Redirect effects so that they can block a spell, but still have chaos and action occur afterwards.

Black is the one where it gets tricky to come up with something fitting for, since their best counterspell is already just seeing a player's hand and forcing them to discard something specific.

>>54643432
>You're acting like Wizards haven't toyed around with the idea of a black counterspell a few times already.
No, I'm acting like Wizards hasn't done it anytime in the past 20 years, and the very idea is absurd in the modern color pie. Also, is "Wah, Doom Blade and Chainer's Edict, wah!" your best fucking argument?

>>54643433
Is it such a farfetched idea to keep a nonblue counterspell against a permanent that color is good against?
>black: "I kill creatures. I've become so efficient at killing creatures that I can kill them even before they become creatures."
Is this philosophy wrong? Or are we all to be slaves of the new ETB order?

>>54643479
>>54643445
>I'd argue that every color should have some way of messing around with spells on the stack, even if it's in a limited way.
Why? What people don't get is that the reason Blue gets counters is because the color's main weakness is how soft its removal is. All the other colors have plenty of effects to either send permanents to the graveyard or exile them, typically means they won't be a problem again. All Blue really has to deal with permanents is freeze, bounce, and polymorph, and Wizards has actually been moving the last one to Red. About 99% of Blue's actual hard removal is through counterspells. That's why Blue gets to counter spells on the stack and pretty much none of the other colors, because it's the only color that has virtually no hard answer after a permanent enters the battlefield.

>>54642717
This feels like it was designed after Bomat Courier whi h was a rare, and I think I agree draw this splashy should be. I also think this should tap since courier had to build up, whereas this can go off all at once. So making it tap means it has to stick around a turn. Really interesting card though. Is it themed after Reforge the Soul?

>>54643549
Yes, Blue gets strong counters and weak removal. What's wrong with other counters having strong removal and weak/limited 'counters'?

A Green player casts a big uncounterable creature. The blue player tries to put an enchantment on it that would make it useless. The Green player casts an instant that would give it hexproof to make that aura fizzle, then the blue player can use an actual counterspell on it.

Why can't there be more interaction like this?

>>54643549
>because it's the only color that has virtually no hard answer after a permanent enters the battlefield.
Artifacts exist, anon, and blue is bffs with them. See Brittle Effigy and Engineered Explosives, which Trinket Mages like.

Now why can't other colors other than some white stax cards actually answer permanents entering the battlefield?

>>54643604
>What's wrong with other counters having strong removal and weak/limited 'counters'?
Because it's pointless. You can give White some weak stuff, but that's pretty much it.

>Why can't there be more interaction like this?
Because your feels don't matter and stack wars don't automatically make the game better.

>>54643633
Because they have answers for after those things enter the battlefield.

>>54643691
>but that's pretty much it.

Except everything I already mentioned already exists as modern cards.

>stack wars don't automatically make the game better.

Right, Blue dominating the stack while everyone else plays Creatures: The Tappening is much better.

>>54643691
>Because they have answers for after those things enter the battlefield.
But you can't answer a Titan in colors other than blue. Or Craterhoof. Or Hulk. Or Snapcaster.

>>54643728
Aw, gee, it's almost like different colors have different strengths and weaknesses. Weird, right?

>>54643830
>one color can answer anything scot free
>every other color first gets slapped before they can even do anything
I see one strength and four weaknesses.

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>>54643830
>>54643850
And there's always that one popular card that any color can run that removes your "strengths"... unless of course, you're playing blue!

>>54643850
Counterspells have such a narrow time frame to work, there's no way anyone always going to have an answer every single time.

>>54643896
You want something other than Blue to deal with this? OK. Black. Black has discard and cap effects. Infinite Obliteration alone would get rid of this thing forever. Maybe you should expand your horizons instead of bitch at Blue all day.

>>54643830
Yeah, and as I said >>54643604 Blue gets strong counters and weak removal. Blue's removal is stuck with bounce, a handful of polymorph effects, and auras to lock things down. This isn't as great as White or Black's removal, nor as straightforward as Red and Green have with Fight and direct damage, but it's still servicable.

So again, if Blue is allowed to have their strength be counters and their weak area be removal, why can't other colors have their strong area be removal and creatures and only get a fraction of blue's counter ability? Specifically, the fraction that they already have?

>>54643962
>discard
The only area that actually works, and you need to get shocked for a good discard spell.
>cap effects
Congrats, your opponent got your killspell and the best card in your hand for 4 mana.
>Infinite Obliteration
You'd need to know that your opponent plays it in the first place. And if you do, it's because they're dropping Seer on turn 2 via sol lands.

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Rolled 1, 4, 3, 9, 6 = 23 (5d10)

>>54643962
>>54643977
>>54644072
You all need to shut up. Bitch about the formats somewhere else. If you want to stay here, post cards.

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Rolled 2, 3, 5, 2, 2 = 14 (5d10)

>>54644118
>White, sorcery, removal/burn, CMC 6+, uncommon
Hmm, that wasn't bad.

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>>54644190
>Blue, sorcery, voltron/buff, CMC 2, common
Sorcery speed doesn't quite work as well with hexproof, does it?

>>54644256
>hexproof is the only blue buff keyword
whoa
>creatures you control gain flying until end of turn
That was hard

Rolled 7, 6, 6, 3, 2 = 24 (5d10)

>>54644295
I think you misunderstood them.

Rolled 5, 7, 1, 9, 4 = 26 (5d10)

>>54644295
>How dare you make a card I don't like!
Oh how dare I master I surely hope I don't do it again.

>>54644373
Eh, for something that recurs from exile, I'd rather that be the main focus, instead of just something that's almost incidental. But even if you continue with this design, I think discarding two would be a better cost. Like the SOI recurring creatures.

>>54644429
>complains that sorcery speed doesn't work with the keyword
>doesn't use another keyword

>>54644429
I'm not sure what you mean by making it the main focus, or how it's more incidental here. I did want it to be set up so that it could cycle through more endlessly if you had all three colors, but also had some usefulness if you only had two.

I also went for one card and tapped since I didn't want it to be too quick with its cycling. The two cards from Innistrad feels more key since it's just from the graveyard and the creature will get back there quickly. If I did make it a discard two, I might make it enter untapped though just so it's not quite as hampered.

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>>54644429
>Green, enchantment, card advantage, CMC 6+, uncommon
Eh, the high mana cost and low rarity were the hardest to deal with. Not sure if this is passable.

>>54644455
Do you know what an experiment is? Not all of them succeed. Still not seeing any cards out of you, by the way.

>>54644506
The Scavenge bit. It shares the spotlight with the exile recursion because it chucks the card into exile in the first place, and it's a bonus that you'd probably want to take advantage of. I'd rather the exile recursion stand more by itself. But that's just me, you do you.

>>54644565
I've already posted my cards ITT famalam

>>54644585
Doesn't stop you posting some now, fagafag.

>>54644565
Hmm, I kind of get what you're saying there, but in a sense I wanted it to be able to enable its own recursion, like many phoenixes do. There would still be ways to get it into the graveyard or exile it without those effects, and with the other themes of the set I could see someone running this in a White/Blue deck without much issue.

Personally, I saw the Blue effect as the focus, since that's what sets it apart from the various other Scavenge cards that would be in the set.

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Cycle of commons I was working on

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>>54643728

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>>54644408
>Favorite color (Green)
>Creature
>Voltron/Buff
>CMC 2
>EDH friendly
I think it turned out pretty well. Originally, it attached to "target commander creature". Should probably only reduce the cost by [1], but I felt like pushing it a little.

>>54644373
I love this. It's going straight in my "good custom cards folder", despite the capitalized prowess and squished art.

>>54644838
Thanks! I was worried the art didn't fit well on the card otherwise.

>>54644800
So what you're saying is that you can't force an opponent into a bad ETB play if you don't play blue, you can only temporarily limit their power.

>>54644838
Sac needs to be a part of the resolution, otherwise the Auras go to the 'yard before the ability resolves.

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>>54644898

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Rolled 10, 9, 6, 3, 6 = 34 (5d10)

>>54644813
I think this would be better at 3UG. It fits the Sphinx Beast typeline, and the +3/+3 boosting.

>>54644916
I see what you mean by that. The set is very wilderness focused, so i wanted to have a sphinx with a very brute-force sort of 'riddle'. The counter vs +3/+3 was to have it be a factor of long term vs short term.

I haven't included any strict multicolor thus far, though it may fit better on this card. It would also let me put Vigilance on it to allow it to both attack anf block with its growing power.

>>54643325
That's fucking strong. I'd play it without the edict.

>>54643347
They should have weaknesses, but four out of five colors shouldn't have the weakness "can't interact with the stack."

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Still trying to get this down.

>>54646445

Should deal damage equal to the instant or sorceries converted mana cost.

Think you could actually have him put the equipment onto the battlefield and attach it to him.

Give him haste as well. Done.

>>54642550
Wording is clumsy because I wanted to check the general gist of the abilities, get advice on those first. Grammar check is helpful, but not really what I wanted

>>54646590
Sounds great, thanks.

>>54646784
Correct and repost. People are more willing to provide feedback if everything's worded correctly.

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>>54644916
Great GU card in terms of Simic design, even if I disagree with WotC's flavoring of GU in general as "+1/+1 counters: the Countering" (I really like designs like Coiling Oracle and card advantage stuff in GU better than counters personally). Modular could have been an interesting design choice too. Should be balanced.

>>54644914
I'll just respond to this version. I really think it'd make more thematic sense without Prowess, honestly. The life>death>reuse>rebirth cycle is extremely and flavorfully evident on the card, and Prowess sticks out like a sore thumb I feel. Other than that, 10/10.

>>54644838
Agreed, make sac the resolution and add a "if you do" clause to prevent cheese. Other than that, clever card, and good use of green outside the "norm".

>>54644784
>Wingsteed
That's a pretty big boon in terms of combat tricks and whatnot. The creature is already really good as a 2/2 flyer for 3, but adding the combat trick on is really pushing the value envelope. You can get the counter out of it if it's going to be destroyed or bounced or whatever too.
>Stag
Seems fine to me.
>Mare
I'd drop the Horse subtype. Very strong; I'm not sure it's too good, but the fact that it can swing for 4 and has evasion is pretty good value. I think it's likely fine.
>Stallion
Mediocre, but red is so hard to design for that I can't even fault that. It's useful depending on the environment, and I'd really need to see that to know how good it really is. Take it as "mediocre solid", not "mediocre boring" when considering my feedback.
>Unicorn
Same deal as red, but I feel like you should make this trample, and give red haste. Though, I guess the flavor of Trample leading into artifact destruction is pretty good. Could consider Hexproof for the Unicorn too.

So, I had this idea. It's probably a bad idea. But I was considering the interesting interaction potential and the sort of stuff you can do with it, and I kind of like it.

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keyword aside, how is this for power level? primal druid being the closest card i could compare it to, its one less mana and a +1/+1 counter in exchange for putting the land in your hand vs battlefield. Moreover, I'm pretty sure the way this keyowrd works you cant actually fetch without another creature

>>54647222
blah blah then shuffle. also fetches a land vs basic land

>>54647222
>aven/bird
>doesn't fly

>>54647155
Noted for Prowess on the Phoenxi and the remarks on the various horses. I'll probably dial back the Pegasus to just being Lifelink rather than the counter. The Nightmare I felt was fine at the lifeloss being 2, though i could change it to being a 1 point lifedrain instead.

As for the Red, that was more a matter of flavor giving it trample. I didn't want to give hexproof to the unicorn either, as i felt like being able to keep it really safe on the board made it more out of place compared to the others.

I'll take another look at the set to try and smooth them out though. Thanks

>>54647155
Keyword seems fine. Reminds me a bit of Bushido, but also heavily favors attacking. Might be a bit too narrow unless you give it a numerical value so it can scale or put it on more creatures with self-tap effects so they can use it to guard.

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>>54647347
Yeah I had Bushido in mind when I thought it up. I don't like how Bushido doesn't reward hitting player face though, so I was trying to come up with a way to allow it to buff up when attacking and also be able to hit face harder, but potentially also be able to buff itself on blocking if you get tricky with it. Sort of a cross between Bushido and Frenzy, but with utility. I prefer not to add numbers to things because that removes the possibility of evergreen status, but bu the same token were it for a set I'd probably be willing if it were what was needed to make it work. I think that's why we've never seen Bushido re-skinned and used as an evergreen; the numerical variable. Scry gets a pass because it's an action word, but for combat sake, they like streamlining, so making it uniform is a big deal for that.

>>54647458
That makes sense. I like the design on the Javenlineer as well.

Red/White as a whole feels like on of the easier combos to make keywords for

>>54647858
It is if you don't mind things feeling a bit one-note since it's all about efficient aggression 9/10 times.

UB is by far the hardest to do keyword mechanics for, and maybe mechanics in general. Especially if you're trying to evergreen.

>>54648686
I can certainly agree on that. UB tend to have such a weird overlap it's hard to find anything they both care about.

>>54648686
>>54648745
UB cares about dabbling in abstract magic, usually far removed from creatures. That's why keywording for those colors is difficult. It goes against everything set in place from NWO

>>54648786
Yeah, the main overlaps they have usually relate to mill or just the idea of grabbing more cards, though for black that's usually at a cost.

Other than that, they just approach things so differently. Blue with give something -4/-0 so it can't attack, Black will give something -2/-2 so it's just dead.

It's hard to have something that could just be slapped on a vanilla creature and give benefits while it sits on the board.

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>>54648745
>>54648786
I've given it a shot several times but mostly missed; pic related. I feel like UB maybe wants a keyword on its spells, not its creatures, but that's a bit of tough territory to cover. The issue is black likes to have cards but also likes to spend them, but blue doesn't like to spend them as quickly, so something like pic related feels more black overall. Doing something relating to you having more cards in hand feels a bit better, but that mechanic wasn't very successful in Kamigawa and I think it wouldn't be again either. At least this way it encourages you to play the game instead of hoarding cards, which is something I think they need to do with blue; encourage using the draw to play the game instead of sit on a full hand of answers.

>>54648893
That works pretty well, but also might be counter-intuitive, since it means your cards that let you draw or force them to discard hurt your own creatures, and they can also easily negate the bonus by just dumping their hand and playing really aggressively.

If anything, I'd say you'd want the reverse effect. Have your creatures get stronger as you build your own hand or demolish your opponents.

>>54648999
shift the blue to red and you've got yourself a winner though

>>54649032
Yeah, wanting less cards works great for Hellbent and Madness decks

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>>54648893
>>54648891
I will, however, say that black and blue overlap in the "toughness matters" space much more then any other 2 colors.
I argued back in the day that they should get the keyword "last strike", for higher overall stats/abilities to proc, but the idea that you can't give creatures "downside" abilities because they "feel bad" is basically rule number 1 in R&D nowadays.

I can't get it to stick, but Dralnu, Lich lord is a perfect example of this.

>>54649244
Or i can, whatever. Kek

>>54649244
Hmm, so sort of the idea of giving the cards a drawback in exchange for being beefier? Seems like it would fit, though i could see why they'd never do it.

It does sound like a lot of they keywords that fit though are just the reverse of Red/Black keywords though. Reverse first strike, anti-Hellbent, etc.

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>>54648999
>>54649032
>>54649113
Yeah, hence why I called it a miss. It would be a bit better in BR with a re-naming. I did do this though. I don't care for Hellbent because I still want a hand to play, but managing it becomes a bit more involved which is nice for interactivity. It being an ability word though means it's not evergreen material.

>>54649363
Yeah, that's a problem.

>>54649001
White madness enablers feel really weird and off to me. Modern white gets no access to it either. You're better off just discounting combat tricks when an opponent attacks you to stay in-color.

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Monthly Force of Will post.

>>54650799
Whats the purpose of the combinatoin of things here?

>>54651021
Filter is the main Blue keyword for the set. Allows for casting something for cheaper than normal in exchange for bouncing something weaker.

By bouncing something back to your hand that you didn't need anymore, you then have an easy candidate to use for the discard effect, assuming you're running this alongside Black.

>>54649636
I agree that madness in white is odd, but I intended it as a combat trick in a way, because it allows you to cast things from your hand for 2 generic, and replaces them, but only when an opponent attacks. The fact that it's only when an opponent attacks was justification for it being white because it's both defensive and combat oriented.

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Cut out the cost reduction, and slightly changed the tokens a bit.

>>54643120
This is really neat.
>>54643325
Agreed that this doesn't need the edict. Or blue, really.
>>54644916
Costs don't target.
>>54646445
Again, no deck really wants this.

>>54651510
>Again, no deck really wants this.
Again, any suggestions? Or any more detailed feedback? This basically just equates to "REEEEE!"

>>54651555
It needs a deck that wants to play lots of equipment, lots of instants, and also wants to cast a big creature with neither protection or evasion. Voltron decks don't want it. Controls decks don't want it. Midrange decks don't want it. I mean, maybe you put it in an aggro deck, but other than that, I don't see anyone ever casting this.

>>54651610
Thanks.

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Multi-targets Chaos Warp?

>>54649636
Seems like an interesting mechanic. Pretty curious how it compares to Hellbent and Heckbent.

>>54649636
>>54651931
Actually, now that I think about it, how does Heckbent compare to Hellbent?

>>54652112
This shouldn't be repeatable, and not at common.

>>54652203
Yeah, I had a feeling it was a bad idea shortly after I posted it. Gonna scrap it as a whole and stop working on cards for the night, because I'm clearly going insane.

Survival bump

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>>54652311
Seems like a fun custom commander type card, multi tribal lords are always good, especially in multiple colors.

>>54652713
Not sure how it would go in practice honestly but the flavor of that whole card is pretty great.

>>54654125
Hmm, I'm surprised it's not
>Target creature can't block this turn.
Like they serve as distractions or something.

>>54656699
Seems like an interesting card. Downside isn't even that bad in those colors either. Maybe up cost by 1?

>>54656699
>>54656751
Well, the lifeloss is still a downside. Meant to say that filling up your graveyard isn't that bad.

>>54656751
>>54656783
I suppose the power of the enchantment entirely depends on where you're playing it. Discarding 5 and taking ten can be a death blow in modern/standard but it seems like it could be built around in EDH

I guess I'll tinker with it find a middle ground. A better Phyrexian arena but at much more of a cost because bolas isn't some punk ass Phyrexian

What are some good effects at common that Blue and Green share? Outside of the obvious ones like flash, hexproof, and putting a pile of +1/+1 counters on everything.

>>54658627
Mostly card advantage. A bit of tuck as well. Why do you ask?

>>54658848
Figured it'd be better to bump the thread with an actual question, and I also feel like I've been using some of the ones I listed too much for that color pair in my set.

>>54658979
Hmm, OK. Actually, thinking about it some more, both colors can untap creatures for cheap.

>>54658979
>>54659065
Actually, I recommend you just look through this article

http://magic.wizards.com/en/articles/archive/making-magic/mechanical-color-pie-2017-2017-06-05

And see what comes up in both colors, then check which of those show up at common.

>>54659112
That's actually a pretty helpful resource. Thanks!

>>54660488
You're welcome. And yeah, I thought it was helpful too. Which is why I put it in the OP of every /ccg/ thread.

>>54651931
Rename it to "Hex Bolt" but keep the image

>>54662338
I think this would be better at rare. It seems pretty powerful to me at least. Anyway, wording for the last ability should be
>Whenever a creature an opponent controls dies, if it had a -1/-1 counter on it, create a 2/2 black Zombie creature token.

>>54662962
You know, I thought that was right, but I wasn't entirely sure. Done.

>>54662338
I'm in agreement with >>54663095 on this. It seems quite strong, and it's also a high toughness defender and pretty cheap, so it's easy to get out early and keep safe.

The idea is quite nice though

>>54663095
>>54663166
Do you think the cost should be increased to 1 BBB or the toughness reduced to 3 or both?

>>54663230
I feel like it'd be better at 4 cmc if you want to keep it uncommon. BBB isn't fully necessary, but might be an option.

>>54651356
To save some space, I'd go with a liberal usage of "they all have X":

>Create a black creature token with lifelink named Famine, a red creature token with first strike named War, a green creature token with deathtouch named Death, and a white creature token with vigilance named Conquest. They're all 4/4 Knights.

>>54664499
>They're all legendary 4/4 Knights.

>>54664206
Nice. Always like off-color Kicker.

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Another go on Cyke. Took an anon's advice of trying an Arc Trail-like ability, plus a lord ability.

>>54667642
Seems solid, though a bit convoluted for a pretty straightforward benefit.

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>>54664206

>>54667818
>W
Seems OK.

>U
Eh, not a fan of permanent change like this. Maybe just recur something like Witness?

>B
Not sure on this one. Maybe straight-up lifegain instead?

>G
I think I'd rather just have it destroy a creature instead of doing this. Especially since it's common.

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Decided to go back over the cycle I was working on and smooth it out a bit. Try to make all the hybrid costs usable more often while also trying to make them better sync up with the keyword of the card.

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>>54668364
This one ended up being more wordy than I would have liked, though I think I prefer the toned down tutor effect more.

>>54668381
Tweaked this one to only work on opponent's spells, though I'm not sure I'm as satisfied with how it ended up.

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>>54668461

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Edgelord faerie commander?

>>54668956
I would go with Hexproof there, especially because you already have that weird clause that prevents her from getting flying anyway. Unless the goal is to prevent your opponent from touching their own things that you exile, but the exile mechanic itself is already odd for that reason.

>>54668956
Super weird. What's even the point of this?

>>54669092
Theme mostly. And the idea that not every commander has to be explosivly good.

Can mess with ETB effects. Can be used to give your own creatures shroud. Can blink out your opponents things for an entire round on the table.

I made it mostly to be a little weird and something that could work in the right kind of deck.

>>54668364
>>54668381
>>54668491
These are too powerful and/or too cheap.

>>54669585
That's what I was worried about. The originals are here >>54633024 for reference. I'm open to suggestions.

>>54669951
Interesting. Doesn't seem broken or particularly powerful.

>>54670227
Needs a cooler name. Also, I don't really see this effect needed in white.

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>>54670339
Does't strike me as something that a color "needs" to have. But I think you need a reason for it exist flavorwise and this kinda has no flavor.

Do you think it's necessary for bounty counters to be given an additional effect here? I don't plan on other cards giving them, maybe a vertical cycle at most, but something design wise in my gut makes me feel like they should do something until you get the death trigger. I kinda wanted it to be a tumble magnet type thing but it doesn't quite make sense flavor wise.

>>54670662
Also no room for flavor text sure sucks.

>>54670759
Should give protection from bitches and from whores, and it needs to do another thing when you deal damage. i love the trigger you already have though so I'd keep that one. I like the concept but i kind of wish the name was something a little more common too.

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>>54662338
>>54663095
>>54663648

So yeah, a fix with a little twist. Dunno if it became underwhelming or is still too powerful

>>54671201
Interesting. I personally would just change it to 'if a creature would be dealt damage by'. You might want to specify combat damage.

>>54670662
Enchant creature, enchanted creature can't attack, when enchanted creature dies draw 2 cards.
Infinitely better, more playable, and can cast for one W/U

>>54671465
Funnily enough basically already have a similar design for another card (but not quite), but anyway this doesn't really make sense as an aura. It's gotta be an artifact and I think it would be remiss to not use bounty counters.

>>54671560
>It's gotta be an artifact
Why?
>it would be remiss to not use bounty counters
Admittedly there are such things as bounty counters, but it's bad design to have it if it's going to only affect one creature.

>>54671560
It works fine as an aura. It's something specifically affecting the creature with a bonus that comes into play when it dies.

Personally, I would say to just cut out the 'can't attack you' bit. It seems more out of place.

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>>54671936
>Why?
Because pieces of paper are typically portrayed as artifacts and it is totally non magical, and the design works as a non aura. I could flavor it differently, something like "Mark for Bounty" or something I suppose, but I feel the iconography is in the poster itself.
>but it's bad design to have it if it's going to only affect one creature.
Why? It's functionally the same as the suggested aura, and it's totally normal and practical design to use a counter to mark something you care about. It mechanically should and really has to care about all creatures with counters on them since it is technically possible to put out extra counters with different card.
>>54672053
I'm fully aware it works mechanically as an aura, as I said I have a similar aura design already, but that isn't really the issue. The can't attack's purpose is that compared to, say, Bounty Hunter, which is a creature and fulfills function when it isn't using the counter, whereas the counter doesn't do anything here until the condition is met and I felt like there had to be something there. I originally had it as attacks or blocks but the blocking part was weird considering gameplay wise you'd want them to block with it. I'm not married to that as I only added it to fulfill that purpose. If you feel it works fine without that though. Also not married to the counter designation either as a matter of fact but they do already exist and the flavor is perfect.

Slightly different design. I actually think this one is a little more interesting for actual real constructed deck play whereas the other was just a filler flavor card but it feels a little off somehow that I can't put my finger on flavor-wise.

>>54672524
Noticed I switched wordings half way through. I'm actually not sure which is correct.

>>54672524
Do what the other guy said and make it an aura already.

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>>54667930
>>54667818

>>54673796
Black one looks really weak in comparison.
Green gets creature removal for 5 mana.
Blue gets card draw for four mana. (why is the kicker green?)
Black gains 4 life.

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Had an idea.

Page 9 bump.

>>54676796
Can't even tell what you're going for here. If you don't pay the cost, does the damage still affect the first creature/player/planeswalker and you get hurt too, or does all the damage get redirected to you?

>>54677223
All instances of damage the creature deals (first strike and regular) would be dealt to you if you don't sacrifice a creature when they happen. If you don't, the opponents creature/planeswalker takes none because it's dealt to you instead.

At least that's the idea maybe I worded it wrong.

>>54677483
God that seems like a nightmare. I mean, getting pinged as a downside I feel could maybe work in suicide B/R, but taking all the damage I feel like just kills this card's playability. Could be wrong though.

At any rate, I think you should use this wording:
>If ~ would deal combat damage, you may sacrifice another creature. If you don't, ~ deals that much damage to you instead.
This is worded as a replacement ability so it will entirely redirect the damage to you if you don't sac another creature. Notice too how I said "combat damage", since otherwise it dealing damage to you would cause the ability to come up again. I suppose you could have it apply to all damage if you made it check for dealing damage to an opponent or a permanent/creature an opponent controls, but I feel this is easiest.

>>54677600
Thanks for the correct wording, didn't catch that it triggered itself. I was going for suicide Rakdos in mind but maybe 10 damage to yourself is a bit to much for a hasted double striker. Maybe ping 3 for each damage instance?

>>54676796
>>54677675
Yeah, sacrifice a creature or it deals 2/3 damage to you might work better. You also want to have it only count combat damage, since otherwise it will murder the player until they sac something.

Double strike and haste is a dangerous combo itself. It feels like a hard card to balance.

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Something that's still on the drawing board. The idea is that Nissa becomes corrupted by Emrakul and starts mutating things

>>54681280
Whoops, forgot my notes:

First ability obviously needs some kind of immediate benefit, possibly inspired by older versions of her.

It would be nice if the third ability tied in with all the various Eldrazi and Horror creatures in Shadows over Innistrad, but their types overlap with other, non-eldrazi-related Horrors. Might just make it "Eldrazi" period, but I kinda didn't want her to modify pure spawn Eldrazi

>>54681280
I would say to make her plus exile some cards from the other player's deck and let you play a land from among them, the minus to create a spawn/scion/horror token of some sort, then make the ultimate cause her to become some huge eldrazi horror with annihilator until the end of the turn.

>>54681280
>-3: Target land becomes a ?/? colorless Eldrazi creature, gains "T: Add C to your mana pool," and loses all other abilities.
or maybe
>-3: Exile target noncreature permanent. Its controller creates a ?/? colorless Eldrazi creature token.

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Finished up a first draft of white commons for my set. I like where most of them lie, just making sure I'm not overlooking anything egregious.

Main things I'm concerned about would be the costing of the various spells and enchantments, as well as the whole idea behind the Dimwood Braveheart. I wanted to go for a self-mill card to work nicely with Black, but it ended up very wordy.

>>54682346
You aren't using set syntax?

>Breeze Hare
1W?

>Liferoot Sapling
Red-flagged, four or more lines. And what's the purpose of this anyway?

>Grazing Herdmate
Hmm, not sure if this should be red-flagged for card advantage or not. Eh, probably not.

>Sparking Wildebeast
Red-flagged, four or more lines. Though I do like the ability, it seems too cheap.

>Mistwoods Tiger
Hmm, feels like it should be red-flagged for the interaction. Seems OK otherwise.

>Torchbearer Cheetah
Red-flagged, four or more lines. Otherwise seems OK.

>Vibrant Wingsteed
Not sure on letting it tap two.

>Flatlands Watcher
Another tapper?

>Dimwood Braveheart
Red-flagged, four or more lines. Having Black draw without lifeloss or sac also feels odd.

>Wildflats Huntress
Red-flagged, four or more lines.

>Armorspine Packlord
Seems far more Green than White.

>Sandsteppe Wanderer
Ability seems more Black than Green. This is just odd.

>Cornered Bravery
A toughness boost with First Strike? Huh?

>Cunning Acrobatics
Red-flagged, four or more lines. Seems OK otherwise.

>Bones of Remembrance
Pushing 3/3 tokens in White seems super odd. Seriously, just make this Green.

>Render Aloft
Red-flagged, four or more lines. Should return to the battlefield. Otherwise it's just a weird bounce.

>Quiet of the Den
Red-flagged, four or more lines. And a tapping enchantment?

So, that's about 9 cards red-flagged out of 17. That's more than half, and the percentage shouldn't surpass 20%, and even of those cards in the 20%, they need to have a good reason to be as complex as they are, contributing either to the core mechanics of the set, or to the limited environment. Other than that, the 3/3 tokens feel really off, and overall I can't even really see any sort of theme beyond "Get stuff into your graveyard." What are the themes you're going for here exactly?

>>54682346
>>54683835
Oh yeah, and the page I was pulling all the red-flagging stuff from is here
http://www.mtgsalvation.com/forums/magic-fundamentals/custom-card-creation/578926-primer-nwo-redflagging

It's in the OP, for future reference, as well as a few articles by Wizards on set design.

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>>54683835
>>54683901
>4 lines is a red flag

I find that concept pretty arbitrary, especially when I can apparently dodge a red flag just by giving a card a more boring name.

>>54684038
OK, say it's arbitrary. Your cards still seem to be more or less unconnected, the 3/3 tokens still feel out of place, and many of your cards are still too complex for common.

Seriously, what is the theme here? You have a few off-color cards here, and one that even has hybrid mana, so I'm guessing an emphasis on multicolor. But besides that, none of the other cards really encourage it, which just makes me think that those cards are there because you want them there, not because multicolor is a theme or because they're important to the mechanics of your set. Mechanically, it seems you should be focusing on getting cards into your graveyard, rather than this off-color stuff, which really just eats away at the space you could have used for the graveyard mechanic. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

>>54684165
Firstly, I'm not worried about having a few complex commons, since unlike an actual magic designer, a noob is never going to open one of these cards in a pack.

The set does have a death focus, but the colors approach it in different ways. Ideally, the occasional multicolor inclusion was meant to better allow for those mixed approaches.

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Teen genius, repairs a giant robot.

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>>54684582
I'd think he'd be grabbing artifacts from the yard, giving them indestructible, or putting charge/+1/+1 counters on them or something rather than flat building them but I realize that's ultimately a lot less useful. I think he should only add <> for artifact abilities though; blue does get that but doesn't as often get any color.

>>54684038
>>54684165
I think a good interpretation of the "4-line rule" for NWO is "no more than 3 lines of text excluding the creature's name" or "replacing its name with 'this'" since that's something you could technically do. Tooth-anon has a point. Some effects are very wordy but simple in nature, and forcing yourself to not be able to make fluffy names for cards else you violate NWO is a bit harsh. Plus you know WotC probably alters text size slightly to make sure they can fit lines and format them how they want, and we don't have that luxury with MSE.

Have a riff on the Zendikar "10 or less life" Vamps.

>>54685652
Yeah, I get what he's saying with it. I just feel like it's not a very helpful critique. It's calling the cards complex based on a rule of thumb that can be fixed by name changes, without actually taking into account what is complex about the card. That aside, I did sort out where some of the actual complexity was, so I'll be making some changes.

That all aside, I kind of like the shift there with a 10 or less life setup. Goes from preying on a weak opponent to saving you while in danger.

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Had an idea. First draft, but I'm already thinking up further designs with Equipment interaction, taking a few cues from Aura Barbs.

And for the record, the character's name is just Static. Static Shock was the name of his show, likely for marketing reasons.

>>54685897
Not at instant.

>>54685652
>I'd think he'd be grabbing artifacts from the yard
I was actually thinking about that myself. I'll see if I can somehow combine the two aspects.

>card
Seems alright. Fateful Hour did poorly, I really wonder how increasing the threshold for it will help. Oh yeah, and I'm very certain it should be
>[...] loses defender and has vigilance.

>>54686036
OK.

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OK, got impatient. Wanted to give the artifact ping a bit more utility, since artifact creatures aren't as common as nonartifact creatures. Or is it too much?

>>54685652
>>54686042
Hmm, actually, looking at Colossus of Akros, it looks like Wizards prefers to keep Defender, but allow the creature to attack as though it didn't have it.

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>>54685758
Well, also consider ability words like Morbid or Delirium; those completely omit the "rules text" in terms of counting lines for sake of NWO compliance, so a savvy anon could just use a glut of them and make all his thematic cards the wordy stuff and still be in-line with NWO. I get why the rule exists; it's meant to make cards easy to read at a glance, with large fonts, so they are easier to grok and keep tabs on during play, especially upside-down. It's more a practical thing. Especially since words words words often does equate to complexity.

Glad you like the card.

>>54685897
This is really strong because it's easily built around. Since you aren't really setmaking, it's harder to judge because it's essentially in a vacuum. I may have to agree with >>54686036 here though.

>>54686042
Alright, looking forward to seeing the new version of him.
>has vigilance
Oops, that's a derp. Thanks.

>>54686093
This is really hard to judge. In many circumstances the Equipment thing is just trinket text. At 4 mana though it should be okay.
>Colossus
I didn't do that for wording concerns to keep with NWO. I think both are okay, but maybe I'll see if I can try to change it and not red-flag the card.
I had a really weird idea for a blue version of Banisher Priest. I know Æther Adept is a thing, but I wanted to experiment.

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I didn't even realize that this could fit into pre-existing Cat tribal until I was halfway done with it.

>>54686373
>I didn't do that for wording concerns to keep with NWO.
If you use the 10 or less life trigger on multiple cards, it'll probably get a pass, since at that point you can essentially treat the condition as reminder text. If you decide to keep using it, I'd recommend using an ability word. Second wind? Resilience? Resist?

>Static Shock
I thought it would be hard to judge, so that's kinda what I was expecting. But thanks.

>card
This is quite odd. The fact that the mesmerized bit is only in rules text makes it hard to tell if it's a legit mechanic. I'd recommend doing something like
>When ~ enters the battlefield, tap target creature an opponent controls. Mesmerize that creature. (It doesn't untap during its controller's untap step for as long as you control this creature.)
Though I could be misreading this if you intend to use mesmerize for different functions on other cards.

>>54686835
>ability word
Yeah, if it were more than a one-off, it could be that way. Maybe I should do one.

>Mesmerist
It's not a keyword or action word per se, but using the actual word "mesmerize" in the rules text is a good idea, probably. I basically did it to make the tap mechanic only refer to creatures under the Mesmerist's influence, and not just any creature, to prevent them being untapped if you have the mana available. I don't know how I would do it aside from action-wording it as you suggest, or keeping it as I have it, honestly. Inspiration for the reminder and wording came from Haunt and Obsidian Fireheart, mostly that the second card's reminder text overrides the rule that normally a counter that's not a +1/+1 counter wouldn't do anything with the Fireheart isn't on the battlefield. As you say, I may not have it right, but I wasn't sure. Card's too oddball to really easily figure out how to go about it.
>Catman
Hm. Comparing it to Captain of the Watch, I'm not sure. The anthems are more powerful, as is the body, and that it can repeatedly make tokens is pretty good. I almost want to say that because he's so aggressive, you should recost the token gen ability to remove the tap so you can swing with him the same turn.

>>54687131
>Obsidian Fireheart, mostly that the second card's reminder text overrides the rule that normally a counter that's not a +1/+1 counter wouldn't do anything with the Fireheart isn't on the battlefield.
No, no, no. Fireheart does absolutely nothing of the sort. The reason the ping still works after the card leaves the battlefield is because the effect isn't on Fireheart, the effect is on the land. Which is why it has
>For as long as that land has a blaze counter on it, it has "At the beginning of your upkeep, this land deals 1 damage to you."
The ability of Fireheart puts a blaze counter on a land, and alters the land's properties so that it pings for as long as it has a blaze counter on it. Note how this means that if the blaze counter were removed from the affected land to a non-affected land, neither would ping, since the former loses its ping ability, and the latter never had it in the first place.

Xathrid Gorgon is a twist on this effect in that it still persists after is leaves the battlefield, but the alteration of the card doesn't come from the counter, the counter is just used as a marker.

>>54625129
>>54625129
Why Ally?

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>>54625341
Vicehold Channeler has some combos with this and intruder alarm. Vicehold Grovekeepr also has a pretty solid interaction with Tideforce Elemental, Scrib Nibblers and Stone-Seedker Hierophant.
I don't think any of these would break the game but you should be aware of it, especially because remembrance is instant speed.

>>54625951
Cool mechanic. Make sure to include creatures with flash and land sacrifice effects.

>>54687131
>>54687275
Eh, sorry, had to say all that first. As for Haunt, the actual Haunt keyword just exiles the thing on a creature, everything else comes from rules text on the card itself. Anyway, I think having mesmerize just in the reminder text only is a bad idea, makes it easy to skip and miss.

>Catman
Sounds like a good idea. Recosting the ability might take a while to get right though.

>>54687053
Storm is always hard to judge, but I like this.

>>54687290
Well, I explained it here >>54642791 but it's basically the closest type I can think of to the common adventurer murderhobos of Dungeons and Dragons. (Geddit? Dungeons and Dragons, Dungeon Dragon. I was inspired by the Hascon promos.)

>>54687275
Well now, I've misinterpreted that card all these years then. Huh. Well, still not any closer to wording the Mesmerist without making an action word. Should I just do that? It feels too narrow to action word it since that implies I'd be doing it on other cards and that sort of lockdown is unhealthy to show up in an action-wordable frequency. I'm sort of at a loss what to do. Assume the card is a one-off and let's go from there.

>>54687053
Do we have a guy that just makes Storm cards? Because it feels like we have a guy that just makes Storm cards. And I'm a guy that can't rate them for shit, but I'll try. The card advantage this can generate is frightening to me, so I'm not sure it's a good idea. I get that it's not really in "storm colors" so that makes it safer but the whole mechanic just makes me cringe because it's so hard to judge.

>>54636452
This is nice, but it should probably have fading or something so the game doesn't turn into a 60-turn stalemate.

>>54671172
You need to specify that the aura returns attached to a target creature or it fizzles.

>>54630253
Perhaps kozilek has been warped somehow if this is present continuity?

Like "Kozilek is all colors and colorless. "

>>54687494
>You need to specify that the aura returns attached to a target creature or it fizzles.
how does that work? (or I guess, not work)

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>>54687494
I would say to go something like this. Just a quick mockup, but it allows you to color the Eldrazi however you choose. You could make each Eldrazi 'aligned' with a shard or wedge if you wanted, or just have them be 5 color so you can include whatever you want along with colorless additions.

It does accomplish the goal of letting them included colored cards without making them require colored mana to cast or needing a complicated commander-specific rule.

>>54646445
I like this but imo he should just turn all equipments on him into Sunforger.

>>54687396
Eh, sorry man. But yeah, if you want to keep the mesmerized stuff, you'd basically have to make it an action word. Or... use counters.
>When ~ enters the battlefield, tap target creature and put a mesmerize counter on it. That creature doesn't untap during its controller's untap step for as long as you control ~.
>Tap target creature with a mesmerize counter on it.

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Went from Fact or Fiction variant to this... somehow.

>>54687572
Thanks, though I changed the effect a lot so the counter comes from land cards and the ping comes from nonland cards. Though I will look at Sunforger.

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>>54687590
Damn. I hate do-nothing counters. I made a new version of it but I'm not sure if it's okay. Why did I do this to myself? I'm obsessed with making it work without action words or needless counters. I think I may lose by ability to think straight if I get any more frustrated and start making even dumber decisions. Shitty flavor text to keep the last ability from going behind the P/T. Main reason I hate the M15 template. Course, I might as well not put any more real effort into it; we're the only ones discussing it and it seems you're tapping out anyway.

>>54687614
This is too cheap for "create two 2/2 tokens and draw a card", nevermind that the effect is even better than that.

>>54687614
>face down. (They're 2/2 creatures as long as they're face down.)
Pretty sure, anyway. Also keep in mind this is giving you a card AND two 2/2s. At least it's Sorcery speed, but it's very good. I guess it's mitigated somewhat by the fact that you can't recover those cards or otherwise cast them, so you lose them unlike tucking them or discarding them.

>>54687614
I agree with >>54687653 on this. The idea is neat, but you get your pick of cards, and you're also in the color that could more easily bounce those 2/2s back if you need their other side.

I think it would have to be closer to 6 mana.

Also, I think you need to be more specific with the reminder text.

>>54687614

The balanced cost for a single card draw is between 3-4 mana, closer to 4. The balanced cost for a vanilla creature is just under 1 mana per power/toughness.

Either of the effects of this card alone are worth 4 mana, but the the combination of effects is RIDICULOUSLY overpowered. This is brainstorm + deck thinning + card draw + vanilla creatures + two ETB effects.... you need to be shot.

>>54687636
Eh, I guess that works? Not entirely sure honestly.

>Shitty flavor text to keep the last ability from going behind the P/T.
Just add spaces after "creature." until it gets moved from the P/T box.

>>54687653
>>54687657
>>54687686
Eh... just brainstorming, but what about XXU to look at the top X, put any number into your hand, put the rest onto the battlefield?

>(They're 2/2 creatures as long as they're face down.)
>Also, I think you need to be more specific with the reminder text.
Why do you think the reminder text should be changed? Look at Ixidron. This doesn't work anywhere at all similar to Morph or Manifest, neither of those work here, the cards aren't getting turned up by themselves.