Field Kit Inspection: Cleaning up House Edition

+this unit is not happy with your inferior appendages to clean this venerable ship+

>the magos crosses his arms in a disapproving manner

first post bitches

>>54216336

>Welcome to '''Field Kit Inspection!', home of the 'Unknown Regiment". Feel free to join in! Remember though, we tend to use spoilers for OOC chat, while greentexts for are used for describing a character's actions. D20s are for combat checks and d100s for other things you wish to roll, with higher being better.

>>54216336
>covered in oil, industrial lubricant no., coolant spills and ink, the techpriest considers his workbench in a robe that was once white

Well... shit.

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>>54216336
*i still have some spare buckets rawr*

>>54216336
Third Company, ready and accounted for, Commissar! Everyone has been equipped with all necessary cleaning supplies!

>>54216409
>Matthias would be somewhat disgusted by the slovenly nature of the Cog-boy's robes.

You Uhm... You really should wash those things, once in awhile... I mean... You've only been with us, for a month now...

>>54216363
Not everyone can have numerous appendages likes yourself. Some of us prefer the perfected state, that is the human body.

>>54216409
+I concur, this is most like feses+

+how goes your self modification?+

>>54216462
+you are not perfected, you are born with perfect potential, the mechanicum augments it from the pereftions weaknesses+

>>54216473
You don't happen to see, any paintings of murals of the God-Emperor with more than two arms, and two legs. Now do you?

>>54216462
I do wash them!
...There was an accident in storage earlier. Not my fault this time at least. And I have actually been busy recently.

>>54216473
+body has successfully acclimatized to new cyberlimb: left arm+
+currently acclimatizing to upgraded bionic eye: left+

>>54216336
>he shuffles into line, covered in various suspicious powders and liquids, with a grubby ratling clinging to his leg
>he gives it a kick and it scampers into a nearby vent
P-Present and, uh, 'correct', sir.

>>54216499
I mean, I d-did back on Kashmir-V, but I'm p-pretty sure that was *cough* just a local interpretation.

>>54216499
+are you implying you are closer to the omnissiah than I+

>my coiled appendages rattle slightly and crawl out of my sleve each glowing with a las tip

+are you?+

>>54216538
[very good, I suggest you ingest some guardsman grade recaff, vial but potent painkiller]
>the machine cant displaying intrest and well wishing for here upgrades

>>54216499
*what has the emperor ever done for me rawr?*

>>54216336
SCREEEEEECH

>>54216538
>He would shake his head at this.

You're lucky that we're about to commence with Operation "Cleaning house" in a few moments. Otherwise I would have you escorted to your chambers, and forced to clean yourself up.

>>54216554
You're NOT helping my point here, Corporal!

>>54216571
No, I am merely following the words laid within the Imperial Creed.

>>54216608
>Puts on a name tag
SCREEECH

>>54216580
+what did you say? WHAT DID YOU SAY?+

>rage enters his speech as he slips into cant

[BY THE GOD -MACHINES OF MARS I WILL PURGE YOU IF YOU SAY SUCH A THING AGAIN]
all non cog boys and girls heard was a second of hatefull and aggressive screeching/ static

>>54216640
*i asked what the emperor had ever done for me rawr*
*the one true god is the four armed emperor rawr*
*everyone knows that rawr*

>>54216571
+In lieu of a more efficient stim source, recaf before cleaning my alloted workspace seems.. advisable.+
>+machine cant emotive layer conveys tiredness, appreciation+

>>54216614
I've been repairing and performing maintenance on every damned auspex, I think being a little unclean is understandable.
Now I need some recaf before working on undoing all my mess...

>Static fills the ships Vox system
"Attention passengers Once again I have risen from deep storage."
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nxY8ZF_09Ak start's playing

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>>54216336
>A young woman, outfitted with silver power armour, and bright red trim, would enter into the Hanger where the regiment was currently collected.
>Shoulder length blonde hair, fair toned skin, and cheerful smile are what can be seen underneath her red trimmed and bone white hood.

Hello, Commissar! ISorry I'm so late for the Inspection. I had just received three more injuries, regarding 'fallen pipes' to the head, when inspection was called.

I had to make sure I was "Satisfied" with helping the chuegeons deal with their "Loads".

>>54216667
*do you require various spa parts rawr?*

>>54216658
+HE DIED FOR YOUR SINS, HE LED THE GREAT MACHINE RECLIMATION. HEE WAS YOUR BETTER+

>he sticks a strange and sharp weapon under his neck.

+say one fucking word, say it and die+

>>54216711
+who are you organic? I request identification+

[you fucking mad man, you actualy did it]

>>54216667
Oh dear god, he's back! He's back from the dead! NOOOOOO~!!! But in all seriousness, it's nice to see you once more.

>>54216658
Of course he'll do nothing for you, XENO. You're a plague of locust to this galaxy!

>>54216743
(Also I used the wrobg character name there. That was supposed to be Matthias! Apologies for the confusion!)

Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>54216741
*lemons*
*rawr*
*sprays you with a spa jet*
*roll for effectiveness of item*

>>54216713
We are getting enquirys about the state of my spare parts, As far as I can see they are all there however my vision only has 15degree arc. In other news I have decimated over 80 rat hybrids in the last song and will preparing them as snacks for later. Later on in the show I'll be joined by deck 34's favorite janitor Jackson Ghilft.

>>54216743
we on a new ship where I can be unknown?

>>54216658
Reminds me I once saw a depiction of the Omnissiah-as-Emperor with an enormous-

>>54216667
- what by Terra's name is that?

>>54216667
(If you've got a discord loggin,, you should come join the Field Kit Inspection Channel. Here's an invite https://discord.gg/7P9knn

Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>54216772
>I jam my phaseblade into this foul xeno

+DIE FOR YOUR SIN+

>>54216792
this is actually a whole new regiment. And yes new ship as well.
Before you ask. No it's not a penal regiment. Although lore is, is that we are sent some of the worst misfits the Imperium of man has to offer.
Think of this more as a spin-off, since Pr died.

Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>54216798
*shrugs*
*continues blatantly harmless water jetting *

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>>54216439

Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>54216821
>missing I curse and fumble in the water, then lance at the xeno

DIE

>>54216711
>he gives her a blank look, sighs, and murmurs "Oh Emprah" under his breath

>>54216798
They not teach you h-how to aim on Mars, huh?

>he goes into a custodial closet, and returns wielding a hosepipe
Alright you shitstains, get in line. You're all getting a guardsman's shower.

>>54216840
I didn't post that, you are attacking a random anon

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>>54216812
>Matthias would disconnect the hose, that was funneling in the water being used for this wasteful, and mess creating purpose.
>The Praetorian Officer looks rather disgusted, and appalled, by this wastefulness.

KNOCK IT OFF! BOTH OF YOU! OR ILL HAVE YOU VENTED OUT AN AIRLOCK!

And get back to cleaning!

Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>54216851
*mischievous rawr*
*roll for spa torrent*

Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>54216840
SCREEECH
>Tries to restrain angered magos

>>54216866
*he stabbed me first rawr*
*challenge him to a card game rawr*

>clutching a mug of something foul and bitter smelling, Rho alternates between sipping it and pouring it into his nutri-tank.
Remind me how this ship got to this state with at least... what was it, three Magos on board? Or did everyone assume everyone else was doing maintenance?

>>54216894
*actually I was doing maintenance as well as cooking and babysitting pawn rawr*
*at the same fucking time rawr*

>>54216881
rolling to oppose
d100

>>54216893
I BEAT YOUR ILK BEFORE FOUL BEAST

>the phaseblade shears off an arm

Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>54216910
fucking dice

>>54216910
*ouch rawr*
*well now I have an excuse to make myself a robot hand rawr*
*somebody restrain him rawr*

Now for a personal favourite of mine, In the many hundreds of year's I've been here I'm yet to figure out what wang chunging is or how to do it but closest I ever got to it led to breach in my last ships hull which cost us 94 crew.

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BoXu6QmxpJE

>Crew on the lower decks would hear a large banging noise as if something heavy was going up & down.

>>54216920
>Pawn restarins Magos
SCREEEECH
>Begins shaking him

>>54216741
Hospitaller, Illya Mirabelle, of the Order of the Blessed Hope. I hope that may proper help 'service' all of your 'needs', Magos.

>>54216851
>She would look the Chem dog over. Her eyes taking in every detail.
>You're not quite sure, but you thought you saw her lick her upper lip a moment ago.

Ahhh a Chem dog.... It's been such a long time, since I last 'handled' one of your type...

>>54216920
Off by one, I'm laughing my ass off

>>54216937
do you happen to have a discord account, man? I'd love to pick your brain. About the old PR days.

>>54216902
>the massive alien beast with claw hands was doing maintenance
>a ceiling pipe falls with a "clang" in the background
>this explains so much
Impressive.

>>54216878
>the torrent hits him full in the face and he splutters, his respirator filling with water
>he looks decidedly less than pleased as a steady trickle runs from each port and intake
Don't make me call the Ordos on you, ya f-fuckin insect.
>he mutters
As if they'd ever reply to us, of all regiments.

>>54216942
>he grimaces
Yeah, yeah. Just stay away from me, ya fuckin' harpy.

>>54216928
>>54216894
>he sidles up to the techpriest
If the *cough* corporal asks you about augmentation, say no. Then run away.

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>>54216942
*help me hospitaliser rawr*
*my arm hurts rawr*
*also it has been disconnected from my body rawr*

>>54216940
>almost slipping free I continue to spew a mix of cant and gothic as I try to tear at the blashemus xenos

+FOR THE [EMPRA YOU WONT LE]VE ALIVE+

+LET GO OF ME+

>>54216978
*hey rho, can you make me a robot arm rawr?*

>>54216986
SCREEECH
>Continues shaking
I'm a chaos spawn, not a xeno

>>54216995
[I know, I'm trying to kill the insect. your just a "mutant"]


>>54216942
+your words can be misconstrewed, but please get me out of this guardsmen restraints+

>>54216979
Advice accepted. Fortunately installing cybernetics is not a great skill of mine, so I have some legitimate reason to decline.

>>54216992
Far too busy, corporal. Much to do to clean up the ship... and I do not know how to construct limbs for... your genotype.

What is all this racket about? Did someone let Pawn fuck a servo-skull again?

> he walks in wearing brand new black robes
Anyone seen that wraithknight?

>>54217032
*i was not actually asking rawr*
*make me a robot arm rawr*
*with a death strike missile launcher and vortex grenades rawr*

>>54217054
He was left to his own demise on the planet. Gone forever now, you had your chance

>>54217054
*MAKE ME A ROBOT ARM RAWR*

>>54217054
Also so add, those robes make you look fabulous!

>>54216979
Oh, but Corporal! How am I ever supposed to give you your weekly cheek-up if I can't get 'close to you'. It would make my job so much 'harder'.
>>54216981
>>54217018
>The Hospitellar would wet her upper lip, as she revvs her Chuegeons chainsaw.

Now boys.... If you don't play nicely, I'm going to have to 'punish' you both...

>>54217036
...again?

>>54217055
Oh.. go ask someone else you oversized cockroach. I've been up far too long already, been told to refrain from rest for longer to clean an entire strike cruiser... I'm cranky.
You don't want to see me when I'm cranky.

>>54217066
>>54217054
>he peeks out from behind Bamounds and slowly shakes his head

>>54217054
Magos, you're looking mighty f-fresh. What's the occasion?

>>54217077
It's the traditional color on my forge world but thanks
>>54217066 ask nicely
>>54217064
Damn
By the way I got the music player to work again
https://youtu.be/DEBGylXJo0A

>>54217109
*please make me a robot arm with a death strike missile launcher, vortex grenades and a power fist rawr*
*also I hate you slightly less than other people rawr*

>>54217036
SCREEECH!
>Gives drawing of Pawn EATING servo skull
SCREEEECH!
>Slap

>The Ruststalker would boot online, his bright light blue lights flickering on
>It would seem this entire time he was lying vacant in the cargo hold of the ship, not online for quite awhile
>He'd get his footing firm, and his joints moving, before he'd begin wandering around the ship until he met somebody
>Who would the Ruststalker find himself stumbling on first?

>>54217105
No reason I just figured I should wear my traditional robes in order to make magos distinction easier

>>54217109
*we don't need the music player rawr*
*the disco dreadnaught woke up rawr*

>Vox static
I may of misplaced most of my music data slate, wait one.
>Static
Non organic humming of random songs for 3minutes
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNJL6nfu__Q starts playing
A song very popular on Krieg, I hear.

>>54217109
>>54217120
Magos, I am ordering you NOT to do so! You know this foul Xeno will only end up using it against you in the end, right?

>>54217120
Will you promise to stop trying to get other guardsmen killed?

>>54217120
>spit flys from the magoses voxaliser as he rages in binary

[LET ME FUCKING KLILL THIS OBOMINATION GUCKING HELL MAGOS GELT HELP]

>>54217145
*fine rawr, I won't get any guardsmen killed rawr*

>>54217152
SCREEEECH
>Shaking intestifies

>>54217152
No im a radical
>>54217140
What if I just vat grew him a new arm just like the old one?

>>54217129
>while searching for more conscripts to hose down, he notices the flickering blue lights
Shit, I guess this is what we get for *wheeze* requisitioning an ex-mechanicus ship. You a-alright there, old boy?

>>54217175
No, Magos. You know exactly what this foul creature is. I am ordering you, too leave it as it is.

>>54217152
+You're giving me a headache. I already have a headache. I now have two, separate and distinct headaches.+
+Congratulations, I did not know that was possible.+

>Draining the last of his mug, Rho stalks off to his workbench, sorting out a pile of unused and repaired items to return to storage

>>54217177
>My Transonic blades would be glowing blue, buzzing with energy
>My face would snap onto his, letting out a processed robotic voice
Target locked. Life signals indicate: Human. Affiliation designated: Astra Militarum. Rank designated: Corporal. Body type: Healthy. Analysis: Non-hostile threat.
I am pleased to be of acquaintance with you.

>>54217086
Ah a fellow medicae! Greetings!

>>54217187
You can't order me but since I like you ok

>>54217187
*if you don't tell him to make me an arm rawr, I will make my own rawr*
*even I don't know what kind of chaos could unfurl from that rawr*

>>54217177
Oh van kleez! I have some "stuff" from the dark city for you

>>54217224
Ah, Magos Gelt! It's a real 'pleasure'... to make your acquaintance.
>She would lick her upper lip as she says this.

You've been purposely missing out on all of your recent 'appointments' with me... I don't understand why I simply can't get a 'handle' on you, and the other Tech-priests. You all seem so scared to come and 'visit' me... I don't bite... Much...

Now Penal regiem......
>Off mic
What do you mean they're not the penal regiment? I thought the ship looked weird....How many years have a been out? A thosand?No? Oh 2....that was a anticlimax
>Back on mic
Here a song a song about boogying...whatever that is...sounds disgusting.
>Off mic
Really 2 years? Who moved my studio here then??
>MIC fades out to music.

>>54217246
What you are saying, Xenos. Is heresy. Punishable by death. Especially should you actually attempt such a thing. And I'm quite positive, that the Commissar would be happy to oblige such an execution.

>>54217214
Uh, p-pleased to meet you too. I, uh, should probably show you to the techpriests.

>>54217259
>he starts go giggle involuntarily
T-That's what I like to hear, my man.
Oh, I found this boltbucket in one of the hangars. You got any idea where he came from?

>>54217274
>VOX channels play https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lrle0x_DHBM

>walking back into storage with a crate of wire, antennae and a couple handheld auspex units Rho absentmindedly nods to the two already there as he stores the components away
>>54217283
Hey dog
>>54217189
Hello shiv

...Wait.

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>>54217281
*he won't kill me, remember my flag rawr?*

>>54217303
fuck I linked the wrong post. Not sure how I even did that. Meant >>54217283 and >>54217214
.

>>54217261
Please no
>>54217283
Nope also I'm glad that spook didn't turn you into a psyker and cause a daemonic incursion from now on only dark eldar drugs for you

>>54217305
Oh, I wouldn't be quite so sure of that.

It wouldn't be the first time, he's executed you. And this time... He'll make sure to finish the job.

>>54217285
Would you kindly play some catachan stuff?

>>54217318
"No" what? You can't really be that scared of getting a few needles 'inserted' into you. Not when you have all that 'hard' ware connected to you...

>>54217283
You seem nervous Corporal. Are you emotionally stable at this current time?

>the magos slumps to his feet calmed down.

+that's better now I think I will apol-+>>54217305


+LET ME AT HIM NOW DIE DIE DIE+

Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>54217344
SCREEEECH
>Pawn attemps to restrain him...again

>>54217340
Our first request on the new ship!
>https://youtu.be/_r0n9Dv6XnY?t=17 start's fading up in the background
Mr Gelt stay where you are I am on my way to you to present you a prize for our number 1 listening on this ship whatever it's called.

>>54217341
Lady you are less subtle than a ork also a year in darkest commorough turns a man off to that sort of thing

Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>54217366
[rolling to oppose]

+LET GO+

>he struggles resorting to his augmented punches and armitures to escape

Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>54217394
>punching pawn I run at the nid

[DIE]

>>54217394
>Magos escapes Pawns grasp
SCREEEEEEEECH

Rolled 97 (1d100)

*roll to escape into unoccupied section of the ship*

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>54217421
wrong dice

>>54217392
>She would tilt her head at this. A questioning look to her face at his words.

Hmm? What ever do you mean by that, Magos?

And why are you talking about such a foul, heresy fuel, xeno city like you've personally been there before?

Are you admitting to being a Heretic?

>>54217438
Got sold into slavery there one time long story inquisitior quixos was such a prankster

>>54217438
Because...

>She would lick her lips rather seductively at this point. A sadistic look to her eyes.

I LOVE purging heretics.... Almost as much as I love 'careing' for my patients...

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>>54217438
>>54217392
>Petrious bursts into the room and his twin cannons fire confetti into the air.
Congratulations #1 listener.
>Petrious is followed in by some of the mutants from the lower decks
We have prepared you a prize of this high quality rat cake which I have supervised the cooking of myself.
>https://youtu.be/q-Rqdgna3Yw?t=5 is playing from his body

>>54217343
Yeah, yeah, fine. It's j-just that the last time I saw your kind there were more of them *cough* and they were pointing guns at us. D-Don't take it personally.

>>54217318
Yeah, guess my mind's to strong for that rubbish! Or too addled. Probably t-the latter.

Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>54217433
*begin to work on totally mechanicus approved arm in secret*
*roll for quality of main arm piece*

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>cutting another arm off the nid, I'm going to attack him yet again

+STOP THE TECH HERESY+

[you got 3 swings left]

>>54217542
?

>>54217494
kek! I knew that was going to fucking start playing!

A Venerable Dreadnought! My goodness gracious! I wasn't expecting such a thing to happen!

Have you had your monthly check-up yet? Because if not...

>>54217508
Sir, Adeptus Mechanicus Ruststalker battle units do not utilize projective weaponry as a means of battle. Ruststalkers use either Chord Claws of Transonic blades

Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>54217515
*roll for quality of vortex grenade attachment*

>Meanwhile. As all of this unimaginable level of heresy is being commited. Matthias and the entirety of the Third company, are cleaning up the bow section of the ship. Completely unaware as to what was going on, half a ship away.

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>>54216336
soon the ships shall be as perfect and spotless as I am

>>54217572
I keep this up and I will have cut everything away, even your head eventually. And how are you making shot when I am attacking you?

>>54217628
dude, ok wtf. First of all, no. Just no to that. Those things are so stuff to make, even the mechanicus barely knows how to make them.
>Secondly, you're being attack right now.

>>54217665
I escaped into a random area of the ship, you don't even know where I am nor are you in a position to attack me. If you want to keep attacking me I advise actually rolling dice to find me by rolling higher than my escape value and then rolling to attack me instead of declaring that I lose limbs.

>>54217672
cogboy got infinite tachyon arrows and I don't even know what this guy is doing

>>54217661
WHY ARE YOU HERE?

Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>54217689
(got it)

Lets find a beast umbubu my vagrant gun

>>54217672
also this is a vortex grenade launcher, I don't have any vortex grenades to shoot out of it

Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>54217718
SCREEEECH
>Tries to tackle furious magos

>>54217591
Bah, all you clankers look the same to me. Probably your second cousin or something.

Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>54217727
You know the drill

>Meanwhile... On the bridge of the "Eagle's Fury"!

>The Commissar would be enjoying a nice glass of Amasec, and a good chat with the Ship's Captain, on how the clena up is going.

>"having the Regiment do the clean-up, is a brilliant idea, Commissar! I'm unsure as to why I didn't think of it sooner!"

Of course it is, Captain. I'm a genius after all!

>Rho gets on performing cleanup on the ship starting from the stern, ordering the- do we have servitors? Yeah we gotta have servitors- ordering the servitors to various locations and working on the coolant leaks, now welding something in the ceiling
>Where on the ceiling? What's he above? Could be anywhere
>Ceiling cog-bog is watching you deliberate

>>54217754
>I'd quickly raise my Transonic blade to his neck
>My voice would suddenly change to be the drill sergeants voice from Full Metal Jacket
Listen here you big flesh bag maggot, you make a funny reference like that again and I WILL NOT HESITATE TO SLICE YOUR HEAD OFF. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?

Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>54217628
*roll to modify spa water jet*

>>54217763
>Pawn captures magos and starts shaking him while on his way to the main area
SCREEEEECH

Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>54217788
*the water jet becomes furious and unstable, capable of breaking after firing, not working or unleashing watery hell upon us all*
*roll for side mounted electromagnets*

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>54217813
*weak magnets*
*good enough rawr*
*time to clean up this ship rawr*
*roll to fire spa cannon*

(Anyone having trouble connecting to the discord server?)

>>54217891
I did

+MAGOS GELT, I have need of your services+

>>54217779
>Some of the ship's crew, would give a wide berth, upon seeing the Cog-boy walking across the ceiling. There expressions rather obvious.

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>>54217712
*hey gelt checkout my new arm rawr*

Rolled 15, 20 = 35 (2d20)

>>54217989
>seeing this latest heresy I rage....again

>tachyon arrow and a phase blade
in that order


DIE YOU HERETEK

>>54217960
>Mag-boots have purposes other than EVA after all
>And at least one of the named Mechanicus members needs to pitch in with performing maintenance on a bloody Strike Cruiser
>though whirring along like Rho's in The Wrong Trousers is a bit of an odd sight, admittedly.
>especially with his robes going everywhere

>>54217989
>some part of Rho's psyche instinctively cries out at the horrific tech-heresy taking place nearby

Rolled 8, 5, 4, 10 = 27 (4d20)

>>54218048
*MY NEW ARM! RAWR*
*roll for bonesword attacks and one head blade*

Rolled 11, 6, 12, 15 = 44 (4d20)

>>54218079
dodging all but one attack, my mechendrites uncoil and begin their own attack

[and arrow and blade and two mechendrites, a saw and a las pistol type thing]

>>54218048
>The moment after the arrow was unleashed. bright red warning lights would flare up across dozens of consoles across the bridge, as an explosion rocks the ship.

>"CAPTAIN! WE'VE TAKEN EXTENSIVE DAMAGE ALL ALONG DECK 7!"
>"Are we under attack? What's going on!"
>"Sensors aren't picking up anything for a thousand kilometers, Mi'lord! Instead, they appear to be saying the explosion came from INSIDE the ship!"
>"Mi'lord! We're venting atmosphere!"
>"Seal off that deck IMMEDIATELY! Send out a ship wide alert!"
>>54218048
>>54217989

>Meanwhile... Back on deck seven. Or what's now left off it.
>A massive hole has formed all the way towards the hull if the ship, and into the void. Causing the atmosphere to vent, and gravity to cease functioning.

Rolled 16, 20, 17, 18 = 71 (4d20)

>>54218079
>I'd follow up from Szarek's attacks by going towards your head with my Transonic Blades
>+1 for charging at full speed towards you

>>54218114
>Pawn looks at the crazed Magos
SCREEEECH
>Leaves

Rolled 20, 12, 3, 18 = 53 (4d20)

>>54218114
*taking a painful graze from another tachyon arrow as it punctures the hull and starts venting the atmosphere and being mildly annoyed by a las pistol and a saw I decide the best course of action is to kill you*
*attacks*

>>54218132
YES PURGE THIS FOUL BEAST, OUR FAITH PROTECTS US
>>54218129
shit, shit shit

>I grab what remains of cealing and continue my assult from the next deck up

DIE YOU HERETEK, LOOK WHAT YOUR ACTIONS DO TO THIS VENRABLE VESSLE

>>54218129
>Red alert lights, would flare up all across the ship at this point. With warning kluxons flaring, as a voice is heard over the ship wide Vox.
>"All hands to emergency stations! This is not a drill! I repeat, this is not a drill!"
>"All crew located inside deck 7 are to evacuate immediately!"
>"Fire suppression units are to head to decks 6 and 8 immediately!"

>>54218169
>>54218165
>Please roll a d100 to not be vented out into the Warp and killed instantly.
>DC is 88 due to lack of gravity.

Rolled 47 (1d100)

>rolling to not be vented out
>40+

>>54218132
>If you are there, please roll a d100 to avoid being sucked out into the Warp as well. DC is 88 due to lack of gravity.

Rolled 20, 93, 89 = 202 (3d100)

>>54218165
>sent hurtling away by the assult of that blade I loos a mechendrite and my arrow launcher


FUCK YOU HERETIK
>>54218200
shit above or under?
[first is gravity 2nd are attacks]

>>54218200
[I am physically too big to be vented, I am bigger than the hole. Do I still have to roll?]

>>54218224
Please don't ignore my attacks >>54218132

>>54218224
[THE ENTIRE DECK, ROLL YOU BIG NID BITCH, IM MAD]

>I get sent hurtaling out the ship greatly wounding the nid as I go

>>54218224
>You are not too big to be vented. And even if that was true, you'd likely end up like the alien, in alien 4, before it's sucked out through a hole in the hall. So roll.
>After all, this is a MASSIVE FUCKING HOLE YOU PROPLE BLEW INTO OUR FETHING SHIP

Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>54218132
*ah, stop that, do you know how much those things hurt rawr!*
*now im bleeding into space rawr*
>>54218241
*rolling*

>>54218248
3 metre wide hole? How are we even getting saves against being thrown out at that rate?*

>>54218262
>>54218220
>The two would sadly find themselves sucked out of the ship, and into the Warp itself. Their bodies being torn part by the chaotic energies outside.
>They are both killed, as they hold onto eachother for dear life.

Rolled 61 (1d100)

>Using my ultimate power, I'd use the energies of the warp to go into my ultimate form
>I'd use warp energies to plug the hole in the ship
>80+ to cast

>>54218277
>To be fair, he fired a tachyon arrow inside the ship. I told him not to do it earlier. But he still did it.
>Realistically, the ship would be scrap, and all of us killed.
>Hence the 88+ needed to grab hold of something when there is no gravity left.

>>54218241
THIS IS ALL YOUR FAUL-

>>54218262
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


>okay I'm good

>>54218314

>my last words

FUCK YOU HERETEK HAHAHAHAHA

>and the body dies before vanishing in a nimbus of blue light

[and that's it for szarek the necron priest]

>>54218328
allright, now I guess you have to roll to not instantly die

>>54218350
no your dead, gone torn by demons you cant even reform in the regiment


sorry everyone for that, but that was epic

>>54218330
*well that also means that ruststalker clank is also dead due to not rolling higher than 88 right? He was in the same place.*

>>54218330
I'm picturing their death happening similar to this. With them using onto eachother in the end.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wuiethadrdU

>>54218370
[reread what I actually wrote and to whom I wrote it]

>>54218372
yep, I told him this over in the discord channel.

>After a few minutes of extreme venting of atmosphere, and dozens and dozens of men and women flying out of the large hole in the hull. The deck would fianlly be closed off.

>>54218350
no because it 1. Didn't work.
>2. Even before it had, he would have had to be on the deck, and risk not venting out himself.

For everyone who wants to know, I tried to manifest that power from a completely different deck, that's why it's a 80+ to cast

>looking at a ship self-diagnostic, Rho slams his head into a wall repeatedly
>all before picking up a toolkit and dragging his way over a intra-ship transport
>might not know the human and er, inhuman cost but holy fuck that's a lot of work to do

>>54218407
>"Give me a status report for deck seven, NOW!"
>"Captain! We've not reports coming in, that nearly half the deck is gone. Alongside parts of sections of both decks six, and eight!"
>"Gellarfield is fluctuating, but beginning to stablize."
>"I've got multiple casualty reports coming In from across the ship! Extensive damage to decks 6 and 8! We've lost several cannons on the port side as well!"
>-All crew on decks six and eight, are to evacuate immediately. I repea-"
"Captain! Fuel lines have been severed along the port side! We're leaking fuel into the Warp!"
"I've got multiple fires breaking out across the ship, Sir! We need t-"
>And the reports would continue to flood in, from the extensive damage.

Rolled 69 (1d100)

>I'd attempt to re-cast the spell, sealing the hole
>80+ to cast

>>54218129
>Matthias would be helping to bring the wounded to the nearest medicae station.
>Many of them are covered in extensive burns, and full of shrapnel.

WHERE THE HELL ARE THE MEDICS! IVE GOT THIRTY MEN HERE BLEEDING OUT!

>>54218498
just a question, what are the odds that a ship survives warptravel with its gellar field pierced while in transit and most of the entire ship in ruin?

>>54218129
>Illya would be grin faces, as she begins to try and treat the worst of the wounded.
>Men missing almost half their bodies are being brought it far too quickly, for her now swamped staff too keep up with.

-and keep pressure on the wound! I'll be back to check on him, in a moment.

>Failing to cast the spell from the deck that I'm on, I'd not bother again
>I'd shut my room door, and engaging the magna-locks

>>54218536
>shrug
SCREEEECH
>Places down three crewmen and vommits another two, they are scarred for life

>>54218544
it's less than a 20th of the ship has been damaged.
As for the gellarfield being pierced, it wasn't open long enough for anything to come in.

>>54218581
any distruption of the protective envelope of a gellar field immediately strands a ship in the warp and causes daemonic incursion. It was open long enough for over 50 people to be sucked out.

>>54218618
so hammonds whos your new char gonna be? I was thinking I would go for another marine, maybe a sniper or medic. possibly a ratling. thoughts?

>quivers in a fetal position
I shall never fall asleep quietly ever again...

>>54218569
>>54218645

>>54218643
I was thinking about an ogryn but I really don't know right now to be honest

>having actually donned a vacuum suit for once, Rho directs the few voidsmen he managed to grab by the scruffs of their neck into sealing the breach
Just weld that door shut, we can deal with it later! It's venting atmosphere, so make it stop doing that!
Where are those void shield projectors? You! Go check on those, this hole needs blocking immediately. And you! Grab some more hands, and move everything, yes all of it, from that storage to deck five.
And someone make sure there's recaf! Good stuff for once!

>>54218498
>"Emergency stop! Pull us out of the Warp, NOW!"
>But, Sir! That coul-"
>"I know what could happen! But do it, before we have a fething DAEMONIC INCURSION on our hands!"
>The grim faced bridge officer, would gulp, before issuing a statement over the innercom.
>"All hands! Brace for sudden transition to realspace! This is not a drill! I repeat! This is NOT a drill!"

>A moment after this is broadcast, the ship would begin a sudden realspace drop out. Causing most of the ship's crew to be sent flying, had they not braced themselves.

>>54218690
>Matthias would utter a silent curse, before grabbing hold of the nearest bulkhead, just as the ship begins to transition to realspace.

>>54218688
you could always do an Ogyrns Bone'ead. Those far fun to play as.

>>54218645
SCREEECH
>Pets him to calm him down

>I'd run to Commissar Knochenmus quickly
Sir! The Gellar Field is surely pierced! Daemons might come through!

>>54218645
>He would grab hold of the man, right as the ship forcefully pulls itself out if the Warp.

HANG ON, DAMMIT!

>>54218733
the Commissar is on the bridge, remember...

>>54218690
THIS QUIET OFFENDS SLANNESH
NOISE MARINES ROCK OUT

>as the ship comes out of the warp a small shuttle is waiting


ON THE ORDER OF A TOTALY NOT STOLEN INQISITORIAL ROUSETTE PREPARE TO BE BOARDED BY THE BLOODRAVENS. YEA HA

>the vox shorts out. it seems several components have been stolen while you were talking

>>54218763
I waspettinga guy I vommited

>>54218690
>thank the omnissiah for mag-boots
Alert! We- no.. realspace translation. Good. Three volunteers, get outside the ship, see. What damage there is there. And be careful! I still don't know what caused this.
Voidsmen! Find one of the Magos, get them down here! No I don't care which one. Ah, the generators! Place one there, and another five paces away, then repeat, the-... Didn't we have more shield generators? We can manage.

Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>54218766
>The Malal Daemon would suddenly transform into a Keeper of Secrets
>He'd tell the horde to turn back, and that this ship was crashing with no survivors
>50+ to persuade

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>54218766
>the man snaps out of shock in a aggressive awakening firing off his weapons in the direction of the noise
Shut the fuck up you twig-limmed fucks!

Rolled 4, 4 = 8 (2d20)

>>54218689
ITS SLANNESH PATROL, TIME TO HAVE SOME FUN TECH SHIT! NOISE MARINES FIRE!

>crawls on all fours in his quarters

Rolled 17, 9, 9, 3, 12, 15 = 65 (6d20)

>The Khorne Daemonkin would arrive onto the ship
>Spotting the disgusting Slaanesh noise marines, the Khorne Daemons and Khorne Berserkers would charge!

Rolled 10, 8, 8, 8 = 34 (4d20)

>>54218797
NOISE MARINES! PLAY DUBSTEP AT OVER 6900 PERCENT VOLUME!

Rolled 14, 8, 23, 95, 77 = 217 (5d100)

[rolling for reasons]

>the shuttle docks and 5 marines spritn out doiong what blood ravens do.....FUCKING MAGPIES

>they also mabey shoot at hereticks and shit but LOOT

"FOR THE LOOT"

File: adeptus feelsanicus.png (68KB, 847x521px) Image search: [Google]

68KB, 847x521px

Shit, I slept in, is it inspection day already?

>"Captain! We've got reports of DAEMONIC incursion on deck 14!"
>"Send a team down there, to expel them! Now!
>"Aye, Sir!"
>"All Armsmen teams. We've got a DAEMONIC incursion on deck 14! All nearby units are to respond immediately!"

Rolled 16, 14, 7, 20, 10, 16 = 83 (6d20)

>>54218831
>The Khorne Bloodletters and the Berserkers would follow up their attacks on the Noise Marines with deadly slashes and swings

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>54218801
I am no longer cranky. I am not RIGHT PROPER PISSED.
Bolt and screw, circuit and gene, start the shield generators, give us cover!

>arc pistol time!

>>54218794
THIS SHIP IS GOING DOWN AND THE SURVIVORS WILL SUFFER OR CLIMAX UNDER THE PRESSURE. HELP US OR DIE, CHOOSE YOUR LOYALTIES.

Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>54218872
Look, you have better things to do. These people will be nothing but ashes soon
>50+ to persuade

>>54218849
>The Captain would hand the Tech-priest a Laspistol.

Nice or you too finally wake up. I'd suggest you skip the Recaf, and assist us with dealing with these Daemons.
>He would laid his own rifle with a fresh power cell.

And I'd suggest you get yourself a name tag before the Commissar finds out

Rolled 5, 5, 3, 19, 14, 12, 6 = 64 (7d20)

>>54218868
*several daemonettes and noise marines fall dead*
DAEMONETTES CHARGE, NOISE MARINES LOAD RICKROLL TRACK

>>54218851
... Nah, the glass eyes cost me too much to abandon...
>>54218872
>shouts from inside a living quarter
Shut up out there! I need to focus!

Rolled 6, 13, 15, 13, 20 = 67 (5d20)

>>54218889
YOU ARE RIGHT, THESE PEOPLE WILL DIE AND I CAN THINK OF A BETTER THING I COULD BE DOING RIGHT NOW! KILLING YOU

>many brothers only take the floor or walls, but not the brother chaplin and brother-sergent

they steal EVERYTHING on decks 9-15.

>sighting the trators they fire a volley at the loud bastrards before running away.

>they also pick up grov on the way out, along with his door, and his desk, and his money, and his staff, and his pistol, and his room

>>54218907
>a cry would screech all around the ship, piercing the ears of all
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD
>The Khorne Daemonkin would charge, a few daemons falling to their deaths
>The Daemonkin would unleash a flurry of attacks on the Daemonettes and Noise Marines

Rolled 15, 2 = 17 (2d20)

>>54218932
FOR THE CHAPTER MASTER MAGPIE

vs deamonettes

Rolled 15, 20, 11, 5, 18, 19 = 88 (6d20)

>>54218941

Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>54218872
>Tug
SCREEEECH
SCREECH SCREECH SCREEECH
>Roll to persuade 60+ because Spawn

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>54218907
>unfortunately Rho lacks a complete audio replacement, and was forced to endure the.. surprisingly alright music, if rather loud
>worried that might be a sign of corruption, he fires another bolt of cracking blue lightning at the pink armoured creeps
Our wrath has come online!

Rolled 85 (1d100)

EMPEROR GUIDE OUR SOULS!
>casting a power to all our guardsmen giving them better accuracy, increased strength and extreme increased speed
>50+

Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>54218965
*many daemonettes fall dead and the noise marines are thinned to the brink of annihilation*
*then suddenly in a blinding flash of blue light*
ARE YOU LOT FUCKING DONE? THIS IS OUR CHANCE TO FUCKING FINALLY ERADICATE THIS REGIMENT AND YOU ARE SQUABBLING ALREADY? GET A GRIP YOU RED SKINNED SHITS.
*50+ to persuade*

File: name.png (71KB, 847x521px) Image search: [Google]

71KB, 847x521px

>>54218895
Uh... I have mine here somewhere
>rummages around in his pockets for the tag
Ah! Found it
>Fiddles with the dials on the laspistol
So uh... what did I miss?

Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>54218982
Now now then sweetie, no need for your pathetic attempt at combat. Why don't you join us? We can always pleasure you for as long as you'd like.
*50+*

Rolled 16, 1, 13 = 30 (3d20)

>>54219018
SCREEEECH
>Attacks Ahriman with it's tentacles

>>54219045
Can you not see the Daemon incursion in the halls?

Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>54219057
I don't remember bringing a chaos spawn with me, what in the fuck is AH AHH GET OFF ME YOU SHIT
*casting doom bolt*

ok let's do this Mon't Ka style
>>54219076
where are the halls ?

Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>54219087
>I'd use technomancy to smash a large chunk of steel into Ahriman
>50+

Rolled 11 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>54219053
>Rho just deadpans at the horned.. horny.. thing with crab claws trying to entice him
>seriously it doesn't heaven have a mechanical eye
>so he shoots it
>with a psychic buff from Halls

Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>54219087
SCREEEECH
>Pawn lunges into the wall
SCREEEECH
>Throws a chunk of steel

>>54219101
HEEEEYYY THERE LITTLE BOY!
HOW ARE YOU?
LETS PLAY THE RAPE GAME ON THE RAPE TRAIN, ON WHICH THERE ARE NO BRAKES!

Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>54219087
>I'd attempt to re-cast the spell, acting quickly
>50+ to cast, if failed I'd flee back behind a wall

>>54219076
By the omnissiah, how did I sleep through that... Looks like morning recaf will have to wait.

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>54219087
>unloads Heavy stubber.

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>54219134
>shoots at his arms with my burst cannon

Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>54219117
MMMPPHT- BAHAHAHA, WAS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY? BECAUSE I AM FUCKING LAUGHING. YOU KNOW NOTHING OF THE WARP YOU WEAKLING.
*uses psychic powers to begin lifting an enormous section of the ship above his head 30+*

>>54219178
30+? fuck off

Rolled 18, 7, 4 = 29 (3d20)

>>54219178
SCREEEECH
>Jumps at Ahriman and attacks...again

>>54219174
OH THE PAIN HURTS SO GOOD IN SO HORNY MY COCK COULD COUNT AS AN AP2 WEAPON

>a small fleet enters the system and hails the ship

HOLD THERE, I NEED IDENTIFICATION

WE ARE SENDING OVER A BOARDING PARTY

Rolled 10 (1d100)

>I'd cast the Emperor's might, sending a fucking GIGANTIC shockwave of flames towards the enemies
>60+ to cast

Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>54219187
literally Ahriman right now, besides I pass even on a 50+
*with ship section in hand I begin to slam it down roughly where the wall that the psyker hid behind was*
TAKE THIS YOU LOYALIST SHIT

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>54219178
>charges with a roaring chainsword
You're primarch is a twat!!

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>54219195
good for you, whatever you are

flyy away and stealth in to join Halls
>shoots at ahriman, thus breaking my stelth field

>>54219192
NOW THATS JUST UNCOMFORTABLE, YOU CANT PUNCTURE TERMINATIOR ARMOR YOU BESTIAL CHAOS SPAWN

>>54218932
This is rather awkward... Could you steal my glass eyes for me, please, I seem to have lost them...they shouldn't be too far from my room, but over 30 meters from it.

>>54219237
You're being attacked by a spawn, I'm not accepting that

Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>54219264
SCREEEECH
>Attemps to grapple him
50+

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>huddling behind the void shield generators intended to plug the hole in the hull, Rho just contents himself with a couple pot shots
>he's no skitarii, this isn't his job!

>>54219268
>the ravens drop him on top of everything he has everowned and their rest of the ships "presents" wit his glass eye.

they then commit suicide, because fucking idiots


>the ship now docks

Rolled 7, 12, 3 = 22 (3d20)

>>54219247
*taking a mild battering from the chainsword Ahriman turns his attention to the guardsman*
*cast force, needing 30 or higher to succeed because this is the easiest psychic power in the book*
MELEE COMBAT? HOW FUCKING QUAINT!
TAKE THIS YOU CORPSE WORSHIPPING TOILET FUCKER

Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>54219307

Ya know, now that I think about it my quarters aren't exactly presentable for inspection day, so I'm gonna go cowe- uh I man, clean them
>The techpreist backs towards the door to his quarters, opening it then slamming it shut almost immediately. The sound of locks being locked and heavy objects being moved can be heard from behind the door.

Rolled 11, 10, 9 = 30 (3d20)

>>54219274
Oh come on WOULD YOU KHORNATE FUCKS GET RID OF THIS THING SO I CAN DROP SECTION 9 ON THAT FAILURE OF A PSYKER

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>54219307
>take another shot at him aiming for the head

>>54219354
SCREEEEECH
>Vomits of his helmets eye holes

>>54219298
Well... That was unexpected. I wonder how much their chapter would pay me as reward for returning their equipment...

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>54219307
>fly's and slams towards a wall
>gets up and charges again
>aims chainsword at the Sorcerer's crotch
Take it like a man!

Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>54219354
>Taking cover behind a wallz he would peak out for a just a moment. Long enough to fire a Melta gun shot at the foul Sorcerer .

Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>54219407
GAAAHH THE MELTA IS COMBINING WITH THE VOMIT AND ITS ALL JUST AWFUL
IM SICK OF THIS SHIT
*roll to bathe all the enemies in a wave of warp fire*

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>54219407
good shot
>fire at ahriman corpse

>>54219389
BY TZEENCH WHO TAUGHT YOU PEOPLE TO FIGHT YOU CANT CRACK TERMINATOR ARMOR WITH A ROTARY STICK

>>54219434
dude NO! THATS NOT HAPOENING! THAT IS A NAT 20 TO YOUR FACE! WITH A MELTA GUN! YOU DONT GET TO BLOW THAT OFF!

GET IN DISCORD NOW https://discord.gg/86bMF

>>54219450
dude you took a critical hit you should be dead by now

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>54219450
Imperial Infantryman's Uplifting Primer, bitch!
>tosses a krak grenade.

Rolled 48 (1d100)

>If Rho knew more about Ahriman's patron, he might have realised the insanity of what he was doing
>that is, trying to come up with a cunning plan to defeat or banish the sorcerer
>and he was leaning against a shield generator, with a whole load of tools
>rolling to rig the generator to go boom

>>54219478
>cursing with his arms deep in the device's guts, the techpriest found the generator pattern had a depressing number of fail-safes
>given more time, it might be doable, but he's unwilling to risk it with fucking Ahriman right there

Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>54219467
*roll to explode with warpish magics*

>>54219441
SCREEEEECH
>Is on fire because of standing to close to Ahriman

>>54219521
I'm serious right now! Use the link, make a discord account. And get in there. Right now!

Rolled 20, 10, 2 = 32 (3d20)

>>54219474
FUCKING KILL THE GUARDSMAN

>>54219525
>put a cover on him
now roll

Rolled 7, 3, 10, 12, 4, 5 = 41 (6d20)

>A man would appear around the corner of the ship
>He'd appear to be in a full suit of Solar Auxilia armour
>He'd aim his Volkite Charger at the Slaaneshi Horde
"I am the Program"
>He'd unleash his Volkite blaster into the horde

>After pacing around his quarters, the techpreist decides to at least try and help. He unbarricades the door, and runs in the direction of engineering with his arms full of tools.

Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>54219598
SCREECH
>20+

File: Solar Auxilia.jpg (234KB, 755x1008px) Image search: [Google]

234KB, 755x1008px

Rolled 19, 3, 2, 9, 1, 2 = 36 (6d20)

>The man would continue to unleash hell onto the horde, his Volkite Charger getting hotter

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>54219561
How many of you are there?!
After this I'm going to find some blanks and nail them to the gellar generator! Or do you nail psykers.. EITHER WAY, I'm mailing SOMEone to SOMEthing!
>pew pew!

>>54219614
well little man you were in a hot situation ammirite ?

Rolled 1, 10, 2 = 13 (3d20)

>His Volkite Charger would fail
>I'd throw my Volkite Charger towards Techpriest Rho, to fix it
>I'd take out my Flechette Pistol, aiming it to the horde

Rolled 18, 15, 14 = 47 (3d20)

>>54219649
...
>Slap
SCREEEECH
>Charges at the horde

Rolled 20 (1d20)

>I'd get fed up with my shitty rolls, making me look like an ass
>I'd throw a melta bomb towards the Slaaneshi horde!

>>54219407
>>54219434
>>54219441

Quick question guys


Where do you decide what dice to roll for what weapon?

Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>54219662
Engage the linkage Omnissi- wait what? Oh, Volkite? That's- oh I see!
>Cycling the gun's systems, the priest attempts a battlefield repair, 40+

>>54219712
Pass me my rifle now, loyal Techpriest

>>54219712
>288 replies


Can I get a very quick basic gestalt? I'm at work for 12 hours right now so I've not got much else to do other than post here.

Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>54219561
Not today you shitty twits.

>>54219709
d20 are for combat roll d100 are for other roll

>>54219724
>coolant cycled, and cells recharged with a quick drain from Rho's arc weaponry, Rho hurls the powerful energy weapon on back, unwilling to leave his cover

>>54219735
[confused techpriest noises] Gestalt? If you want a little ooc help, try joining the discord at https://discord.gg/DB35A

>>54219758
Nice one, I usually lurk these threads. I'll read the thread and get up to speed/spoiler]

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>54219772
>Catching my Volkite Charger, I'd send a volley of bolts towards the enemy

>>54219712
>The tech priest comes barreling round a corner before diving over the shield generator, landing in an undignified pile before standing
Techpreist Vanderdelgus reporting for, uh, duty!

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>he strolls in, suspiciously happy, holding a milk jug
Hey, look what I found in the medicae fridge: a whole jug full of- ah, shit.
>he dives into cover and starts firing at the invaders

>>54219785
Er, what? R-Rho here!
+Switching to machine cant, that alright? Situation seems.. mostly under control? Thr big guy died at least... I'm running on fumes here! This is out of my depth!+

Rolled 10, 16, 2 = 28 (3d20)

SCREEEECH
>Continues melee assult on daemonetes

>>54219843
Corporal.... Thats not 'milk'.... Atleast not actual 'milk' from an animal's teat...

>She would lick her red lips at this.

That's 'milk' from a man...

>>54219883
>Silently judges

>>54219859
+Good to hear. Need any help with that generator thing?+

>>54219883
>he looks at her, eyes full of contempt, as he lets the jug fall to the floor
For what f-fucking purpose?

>>54219883
How can you tell just by looking?
>>54219843
I hope you didn't drink any of that

Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>54219909
+Well, I was originally going to use it to patch this hole until we got to Praetoria, now I'm just hidin- using it as cover. Shields work both ways!+
+Er, try helping me get this armoured fellow up to speed, he's got a better gun than either of us!+

>tweaking the generator, Rho attempts to extend it's range temporarily, giving the Program limited protection

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>54219968
Unlucky Techpriest
>I'd send my aim towards the Keeper of Secrets in the midst of the daemonettes, firing a volley towards it's face

>>54219968
+What's wrong with him?+
>He sets his recaf cup ontop of the generator, where it is instantly shot
...shit

>>54219953
Do you REALLY, want to know Corporal?

>>54219963
I know what it is. Because I put it in the fridge!what's that look for? One of your buddies, wanted me to send a shipment of his frozen sperm to his wife, so she could have a child.

>>54220052
Well at least it's not a beverage

>>54219989
Blasted thing has so many fail-safes to prevent tampering! What [DIAL UP NOISES] priest designed this pattern?!

>>54220032
+Well, at least this room is pressurised again.+
+See if you can assist the defenders, or take a shot at the daemons yourself. I'm taking another crack at this+
>rolling to modify the generator to instead zap the daemon horde instead of providing defense 60+

Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>54220089

>>54220052
>Sneaks into the Medicae facilities
At least it seems safe for no-
>Notices the Sororita Hospitaller
Right, I think I lost my other glass eye, gotta go find it, bye.

>>54220114
>He would use her power armored hand, to roughly grab the Astropath by the hood.

Ah, ah, ah. Tis. Tis. Tis! That's not every nice, Astropath. All I want to do, is 'handle' you, and make sure you get your 'physical' examine finished with...

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>54220089
+Uh... ok. Just so you know, I've never actually used a gun before, but there's a first time for everything, right?+
>The techpriest points his laspistol at the daemons, and fires into the crowd, before diving back behind the generator

>>54220165
HE?

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>54220052
I have a f-few choice words *cough* for you concernin' the labeling of containers, sister.
LABEL YOUR FUCKIN' CUM BOTTLES EMPEROR'S FUCKIN' THRONE!

>>54220194
HAS

>>54220110
>he shouts over the vox, muffled by the sounds of battle
How you holding up over there, techie? You got that hole patched up yet?

>as he talks, he blind-fires over the crate he huddled behind

>>54220165
... Physical examination? Can we skip that?

>>54220178
>the laser is reflected off a particularly shiny metal plate, and hits the techpriest directly in the eye, who promptly begins swearing in machine cant before passing out
I'm gonna head off now, shit was fun. I'll probably be back later

Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>54220178
+Welcome to my life a couple weeks ago, you'll catch up.+
+...Did you hit a servitor? Emperor damn it I liked that one?+

>>54220246
It will do for now, but I don't want to see what will happen if the main field gets hit! I just used our spare as a weapon!
>a couple weeks ago, he was terrified at a single daemon
>but thanks to overwork, undersleep, unhealthy amounts of recaf and being immersed in so much weird shit
>it seems Rho has finally stopped giving a shit
>and so he shoots at the daemonettes he just made a generator electrify

Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>54220253
>The Hospitaloerz would lick her lips, before speaking.

N.O.P.E. Spells NOPE!

>she would then drag him into her cubicle, for an 'examination'.
>Rolling for how throrough she is.

>>54220306
>The examination goes by rather quick, and painlessly.
>He isn't even scarred for life by her ministrations.
>After a 15 minute long bit, he is allowed to walk out of her office, with a comically large lolipop in hand.

There you go, sweetie! That wasn't so bad, now was it?

i believe it's my turn now ?

>>54220341
>Silently thanks the Emperor in his head
>After he is done thanking, he realizes he has a lollipop
Well, that should compensate dor the scare.

>With things now dying down across the ship, and repairs under way. The bridge crew would begin. The ardous task, of figuring out where the ship had returned to...
>It isn't long before they get an incoming message from a nearby planet, with their answer.

>>54220389
>She would give him a firm tapnon the rear, to get him moving.

I told you it wouldn't be all that bad....

Man I went to check on my waithlord for five minutes and I come back to whatever the fuck this is

>>54220382
meant to quote>>54220341