Eight words or less that would get you kicked out of your group.
>mfw this happened in a new group my friend roped me into
never play with minors
>never play with minors
Minors can be okay to play with, usually requires most of the rest of the group being of age though. So 1 minor, 3 adults + GM. Finish campaign, swap kid out, rinse and repeat. Voila, non-shit players without "old school" conceits.
>Eight words or less that would get you kicked out of your group.
"Guys, maybe we should use an X-Card?"
I mean, I USUALLY share that opinion on minors, but I don't get why the DM invited a FIFTEEN year old from his guild to our party, not to mention he's left during games saying he had a >headache.
Did you ever hear the tragedy of darth plagueis the wise?
Yes, what >>45358985 said. Where it gets (even more) retarded though is that the rule precludes anyone from even asking about *what* offended the person tapping/lifting the card. So you have situations where someone taps it in the middle of a scene, and everyone has to scramble to read their mind because one of the core rules is to NEVER ask.
>tfw could say literally anything and they won't kick me out, because they are white and cuckolded
I've already expressed support for Trump on multiple occasions. Short of showing up with nazi gear, I don't think I could do a single fucking thing.
Nothing short of insulting the kids and wife of one of my friends could get someone kick from the group. All other jokes and insults are fair game even with temperaments running a little high.
I'd throw you because that shit ain't finished, so not only is it a piece of /pol/ garbage, it can't even be bothered to make it work somewhat.
>Thinking that all who migrate to Europe are doing so for economical reasons is just about as dumb as thinking that none of them are.
Those moving out of Syria* for non-economical reasons have no reason to go any further than Turkey, or even Cyprus (which is an EU country right across Syria, but somehow entirely ignored by Syrian refugees), or even other relatively save Arab countries like Jordan or Saudi-Arabia. No non-economic migrant from Syria* has any reason to cross the Hellespont.
*Did you know that a majority of so-called refugees aren't even Syrian?
Only about a quarter of them are actually Syrian.
Get rekt tumblr.
Jesus Christ. Do these people know that "triggers" are exclusive to PTSD victims and people with actual autism? Putting yourself on their level just because a subject makes you uncomfortable is just WEAK. Holy fucking shit suck it up.
Anyone wanna help me track down this John Stavropoulos guy, circle around him and shout "buckaroo" repeatedly?
If you want to see a spectacular murder consisting of a person having their esophagus, stomach, lower intestine, and large intestine dragged out of their body through their mouth by the combined efforts of some marginally creative people,
>"All your dice have been up my ass"
I'm in nearly the same boat, but one trio of chucklefucks in particular will start getting all meta and fighting in-game when they disagree on shit in real life. I've never hosted when it happened but if I were, I'd have them arrested. Chucklefucks.
But as far as the one piece of artwork in 4th ed goes, they do.
I'm tired of this argument. If people want to throw breasts on their lizard people, that's totally fine by me. If they want to be flat-chested, well okay - it's not like human females can't ever be flat-chested even once they're fully grown. Just don't act like it somehow makes you purer to take the tits off.
>Jesus Christ. Do these people know that "triggers" are exclusive to PTSD victims and people with actual autism? Putting yourself on their level just because a subject makes you uncomfortable is just WEAK. Holy fucking shit suck it up.
I have a couple soldier buddies. They're SO. FUCKING. MAD. each time this bullshit comes up, and I don't fault them.
I need to hear both of these stories.
It's not much a story, I'm just the only guy in my group. It's not a bad group or a bad experience, just different. Only time it's ever a problem, which is not often and if you could even call it a problem, is they usually turn to me to settle disputes or pick sides being the "odd man out".
Their choice of games leaves much to be desired, but overall I have no problems with it. Better than plenty of groups I've played with and much better than no group.
They bitch and moan when they roll nat 1's despite rolling multiple crit successes on the previous turn, cry and storm out when another one makes a passive aggressive comment, demand that I work more character growth opportunities into the story despite the fact that the characters have only known each other for five in-game days, and get upset when they encounter enemies that have resistances or immunities to their favored methods of attack.
I regret agreeing to dm for them.
>bitch when rolling nat 1s
Make it so that it's just a guaranteed miss, not a critical failure.
>storm out when one makes a passive aggressive comment
I'm honestly surprised at that - are these women made of eggshells? Can't fix that assuming you're telling the truth.
>demand I work more character growth opportunities into the story
They're obviously not asking for you to force them to do stuff with their fellow players - they want NPCs to interact with. Give them a little political intrigue or something, a bartender for their personalities to bounce off of. Be happy you don't have a group that wants nothing but combat.
>get upset when they encounter enemies with resistances or immunities to their favored methods of attack
What level are they? If they're high level, resistances are practically mandatory so they don't just destroy every NPC you throw at them. Low level, what are you doing including resistances? Even a small one could render low rolls moot. If they hate combat as much as you claim, don't go making shit worse.
Thing is, they're the ones who asked me to include crit fails. I normally play nat 1s as 'it just doesn't work', but they wanted something more punishing than that.
All of them are emotionally weak. I discovered this as I GMed for them.
There's NPCs everywhere they go. Even their foes have personalities and goals.
They're level 13 in Pathfinder. The worst thing they've encountered is a tie between a gargantuan-sized shambling mound, and a level 16 kobold Oracle. The mound had SR and electric immunity, which upset both the offensive casters immensely. The kobold fucked the psychic warrior right up.
>not throwing dragons and dark gods at them
toughen those pussies up
"Stop bitching and read the rules for once"
This of course coming from someone in a group notorious for not actually investing any time reading the rules or paying attention in game
pathfinder in This case, all the while complaining that they can't do "xyz".
Then they immediately return to their phones and ignore everything contextual and "rinse repeat" until they demand we play something different.
>NOT wanting to play a game centered around the Crusades
Get a load of this fucking pleb.
"Let's wait for some proof that's what happened"
This is the problem with most everyone your age believing that the Ferguson thing was deliberate, despite no evidence being present to prove it, and lots of evidence against it.
It is mostly a problem with everyone wanting to act like a victim so they have something to whine about, and others acting like they are the defenders of the oppressed so that they can stroke their own ego All the while only achieving the opposite effect
Don't remind me, the concept is so damn stupid.
I may as well say, "I'm a pacifist and hate violence in this Dark Heresy game. I will pass my turn every time we have to hurt something and receive no consequences."
If you don't like a DM's game, then leave, don't make him pander to your tastes.
Offer suggestions, fixes, scenarios and ideas during breaks, but never during the game.
>"Quick, use my lucky dice!"
>"Wow, nat 20!"
>"I know, right? It's because they've been inside me."
"So, yeah, I was thinking... I'm gonna need to secure my luck before the next exam. It's hard, you know."
"You know, if you're already going to shove those dice up your vagina for luck, I've got something much bigger that could go in there that'd make you feel like the luckiest woman alive. Oh, and trust me, it's hard."
And then I'd get kicked out of the group.
Yeah. The same person got furious over the concept of the nail polish that can detect some of the date rape drugs because it somehow encouraged rape. There is literally no way to reason to that without false logic.
My paladin is based (loosely) off Asura, is that okay?
Hey, those words will get you invited into mine! My player are great, but no one will play a gnoll chick OR dickgirl...to say nothing of both D=
Reptile races shouldn't have mammary glands, because those belong on mammals.
Dragonborn/Dragons aren't reptiles, though, they're their own thing, so depending on the setting they can have mammery glands because they're weird. Same goes for any supernaturally based hybrid race, magic bends the rules so they can be weirdos like that.
>Reptile races shouldn't have mammary glands, because those belong on mammals.
F A N T A S Y
If a god or wizard created lizard people without tits, that god or wIzard is undoubtedly a massive homo.
That fucking game. Everytime I tried to win at it I got kicked out, and eventually I just ran around the apartment talking nonsense and somehow that ended up with me saving their relationship.
Wanna join our game?! Here, have another hyenagirl.
Yeah. We do ERP sometimes between sessions. We had an ex-gf who played a year back (great at first, then dropped out of grad school and couldn't get her shit together) but otherwise all <25 white males living on our own. We're okay with anything short of being an asshole IRL on purpose.
After another 40 years of drinking, sure
Sure! Any interested anons, go this doc for my gmail and message me on Hangouts. I'll put together a Hangouts chat or something tomorrow after getting responses.
I'm up for anything that might involve /d/ material (and gnolls) and we can even do a 1 on 1 game, so don't hesitate to message me!
I spent twenty minutes before the game working out the mechanics of the sheev spin with the dm, since I was weak as fuck. His jaw dropped when I rolled a crit on the encounter boss with my spin
We try during sessions sometimes, but the moment someone can't hold back their laughter it's all over.
Already getting responses, thanks guys! If you don't hear from me by 9 AM EST, try again or leave a comment in the doc so we can chat and get to sexytiem.
>mfw half the table knows where my portrait is from and keep glancing nervously but won't say anything.
>mfw their next character's portrait is from the same artist
That happened once in my group, in a game I wasn't involved in, and I forget why. To be fair, they didn't know it was a sacred artifact at the time, but that really doesn't help their case much.
What? An Asura expy would make for an AMAZING paladin.
>Zealous member of a holy order
>Overflowing with righteous fury towards his enemies, but deeply loving towards his family, loyal to his allies, and protective of the innocent
>Ultimately willing to straight up punch his god in the face for the sake of what he feels is right and just, and damn the personal consequences
Playing as or with the angriest pally in the world sounds like a good time to me.
It'd be a nice change of pace to run that or Magical Burst or similar, but my group is majority normalfags and half of them women, so it wouldn't go over well.
Getting them to play anything but 3.5/Pathfinder is a miracle on its own.
>first time playing
>friend makes dorf wizard with pretty solid strength
>spends all his starting gold on a dickload of weapons
>start the campaign
>he realizes he forgot to have clothes
>or a backpack
>or anything that wasn't an axe or something
>he rolls with it and keeps everything in his ass
>E v e r y t h i n g
>Playing a game with made up terms all over the place
>"Fuckboy isn't a real word"
Neither is "Vorpal" you cockgobbler. Some pedophile who didn't understand math and some drunk white girl on black twitter are about equal in the "gets to make up words" game.
Alright, here they are. A few things to keep in mind are that a. This is both of our first game, so it was kind of "anything goes" b. I have shit stats and equipment, and c. We're really just having a giggle, I don't expect anyone but my group to ever accept my shenanigans
Sheev spin: Attack by extending your blades, and spinning in the air. Attack 4 times with 2 one handed weapons or twice with one 2-handed weapon (each level, gain 2 attacks for light, and +1 for 2 handed) Must have proficiency with the weapon to use. Gain disadvantage next turn. Can throw the weapon(s) at the end for an extra attack.
That seems kinda useless.
You gotta face what upsets you, one way or another. If you don't do that, then every time something upsets you, it's like a wall to your way of thinking, and you could easily get trapped in a maze or a box made up of your inability to deal with your feelz.
I forgot to mention, you gotta roll each hit with an extra penalty, (since only force masters can perfect the spin.) i can't quite remember all the restrictions we put on it so I couldn't go from useless to murder powerhouse
>You gotta face what upsets you, one way or another.
Well, no, not exactly. People in this day and age (first worlders at least) have pretty big say in what they will or will not interact with. It is entirely possible to avoid whole sub-sections of the usual human life.
We got to the point where people don't have to face problems, they can spend all their life avoiding them. I'm not saying it's the best choice, but it's a possibility.
To marry a woman, loli or otherwise, you have to convince her parents (which usually means paying them some) and you have to be able to secure household from her.
In Europe they can just jump any random girl without having to go through the... courtship part. Because in Europe (Turkey doesn't count) people are not used to having to keep their female relatives and children under lock and key 24/7
Pretty sure a while ago there was a vet who got attacked by the hatemob for saying twitter PTSD wasn't real. Some spoiled early 20s brat actually straight up claimed that using twitter as a woman was more mentally scaring than being in a warzone too.
It was actually a Wizard/Sorcerer/Eldritch Theruge build that I made for one game. I think it was 3rd edition Dungeons and Dragons. I specifically asked the DM for that prestige class before the game even started on a lark. I never figured he'd say yes. The thing is broken as all hell, but he said yes, didn't see the harm.
So I took it and ran to high heaven with it.
>. Some spoiled early 20s brat actually straight up claimed that using twitter as a woman was more mentally scaring than being in a warzone too.
This is why assholes like Trump and LePen are getting traction. Because the other side is looking utterly insane by comparison.
Literally the only way I can think of that happening is a woman using it to look for pre-drugged drinks to drink guys with so she can rape them. That is literally the only way I can see that being used for rape.
Guys, please, lets
>TFW mention FATAL as a joke and the crazy fuckers decide to replace our Promethean game with it.
Life is suffering.
Congratulations, you still live in a world that is still pure and full of hope.
I live in a world where I'm actively playing a magic user in the hope that I kill everything in the setting so we can stop this thing that everyone else is still calling a funny joke three weeks after the fact.
The modifier for difficulty of raping someone while both are wearing clothing is +6.
Two people have already produced a shit baby.
I could go on, but I see no need. And I was the only one who really had to read 900 pages; almost 300 are just for spells and magical mishaps.
To be fair, most of these people are gognards who spent most of their time just looking at their phones rather than playing Promethean, and they're mentally all three year olds because the laugh at shit and rape jokes like it never gets old.
Keep in mind I've already said my words and already left that hellhole behind, but the point remains; there are people who do this, ostensibly for fun, and they have a theoretical chance of reproducing.
A lot of mammalian animals do not have /protruding/ mammaries.
Should or should not bipedal versions of the species have them? They are not obliged to follow the same body plan as the monkeys did - after all, they generally keep digitigrade legs.
Species that are literally "magical mix of human+animal" don't count for this, they are magical bullshit. I am asking for cases of species evolving into tool use and bipedality on their own, not being copypasted another's template.
So back in what, August of last year or so, I got to know a guy through threads on the 4chin, and he introduced me to another guy.
Said guy turned out to be into tabletop rpgs as well, and who needed another player for his 3.5 campaign.
I relished the chance to get to play for once, and not just that, but also play in a fairly high-level group (level 8 or 9).
I decided to try and shed my habit of murdering without question, and made a pacifist bard.
Now, the GM warned me about two of the three other players, and told me one in particular was "a shithead pain in the ass".
I chose to keep an open mind until I interacted with the others.
And they turned out to be nice people with decent characters.
Hell, one of them's a first-timer playing a pretty good elf ranger who's a severe doof, but also pretty clever.
Now, said GM wasn't really too good of a GM, and kind a prickly fuck, sometimes even kind of abusive to players. Also kind of a right wing nutter.
Eventually the guy who played the elf managed to piss him off by irreverently fucking with the entire "Muh southern flag" business, causing said GM to ragequit.
Now, I kinda grew to like the other players, and they kinda grew to like one another, so in a spur-of-the-moment thing, I offered to take up the GM mantle.
And I did, sweeping them off to a new setting (because I didn't have the last guy's campaign notes or anything), and they seem to be enjoying it.
But I'll generally try not to make enemies of people when I can not (and if people are shitty, I have a tendency to want to try and fix that), so I stayed friends with the prickly fuck GM and have been trying to make him less so.
So you might see how that might be a problem if they get to know.
And to top it all off, my character's wife got killed like 2-3 sessions in. He hunted down and killed a barbarian 4 levels higher (15 vs 11) than him for that.
The DM doesn't even know Asura's Wrath and it's already turned into it.
>I rape the maids.
I got kicked out for that. Seriously, what was the big deal?
4th riech when? Race war now. Hail Hitler.
>I fucked your girlfriend, and your sister, sorry.
You know, I was friends with both Mister Fucker and the GM, who the statement was directed at, which should've made the whole situation incredibly dark, but the weakass 'sorry' at the end somehow made it hilarious to me and I had to step outside during the GMs shouting fit to snigger as quietly as I could over the absurdity of the entire exchange.
Full disclosure, the sentence was probably longer than that and contained more justifications, but you know, 8 words. Plus most of us were pretty maggoted by that point so its a little fuzzy as to the exact words.