What would your character do if an elf maiden bore his child?

Quit lecturing my offspring you silly bint

Be very confused, since there aren't any elves in the setting and she's female.

>>45341951
Id raise the half-elf quarter Orc and quarter human and marry the elf.

do their best to be a good parent for the first 1/3rd of their son/daughter's childhood then die of old age.

Take her and the child back to Gamorr to keep them with the other females and children.

>Adventuring constantly to pay child support
>Never get to upgrade your equipment

>>45341951
Draw a better picture of it.

>>45341951
>Yellow shitty hair
>Blue Eyes
>Stupid ugly-ass lips

It ain't mine. Good luck finding the real daddy though.

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Give her some wonderful gift or another, probably some treasure from his adventures.

Be extremely confused.

Because the closest thing to an elf is a changeling.
And she's female.
And already pregnant.

>>45341951
>maiden
Not anymore kek

>>45341951
Bore him where?

Freak out maybe. Fear for her life probably. Try to cover it up definitely.

>>45341951
If she bore my child I tell her to be more interesting

OOC be delighted as the DM has entered MY magical realm for a change.

IC probably either give her a bag of gold and skip town or try to make a name for himself locally, depending on location.

Marry her, settle down, become a Town Guard, raise the child the best he can.

Now I am a grown man, with a child of my own and I swear I'll never let him know all the pain I have known...

>>45341951
Take responsibility, obviously. Assuming it was his anyway.

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>>45341951
In my PC's case it would be a drow maiden, and he'd be pretty happy about it. They can settle down for a nice, simple life, attended by the hundreds of followers drawn to the PC by his thrall call.

>>45343663
>hundreds of mindslaves

You say that as if you're somehow not going to get your shit pushed in by wandering PCs.

>>45343788
>NG thrallherd
>picking up the class was an accident
>Doesn't know it's why people keep coming to him for guidance
>Just tries to offer advice, is happy to get help though

>>45343075
Clearly she did your character a solid by using magic to transfer your unborn child into her so you can keep adventuring with out worrying about endangering your child. But being a changeling she didn't think to tell you this before hand. Or ask your permission. Or to keep in touch/easy for your character to find...

>>45341951
take responsibility

>>45341951
Check my genitals to see when I grew a penis.

>>45341951
Apologize to his halfling wife, take off his armor, and fall from grace.

Not knowing how he possibly could have possibly spilled his seed without knowing, he would help the woman take care of the child.

There would be too much regret for him to ever love her. He had been saving himself for his previous lover until after the danger was over, until he could live a peaceful life with her. Along with that, he can't forgive himself, so he casts away his paladin powers.

Later down the line, he probably grows bitter and starts to drink. Working his shift, sleeping, and only looking forward to drinking again. Both the child's mother, and his former lover will try to stop him, but it won't work.

He will just grow more depressed. He will live slightly longer than a normal human, being a half-giant. But will pass miserable.

Such is life.

He'd start wondering how the fuck they got to his reproductive organs, and how the fuck they still work after he sealed them away along with the rest of his organs in his temple. After figuring that out he'd be overjoyed that he finally has a child, and do everything thing he can to keep it and the mother safe. He's a skeletal preacher by the way

>>45341951
>half-elf cleric
Worry constantly that his by comparison immortal lover will grow tired of both him and their child since they both grow and die much sooner than her.

>>45341951
He wouldn't make a thread about it.

I mean, my Cleric is dating an elf, so he would probably finally formally marry her and settle down with her in his hometown.

>>45343887
Also it's world of darkness so I don't think a changeling stealing a pregnancy is ever a good thing

Ask her what should be our next curse of action since getting out of this whole marriage-by-curse thing just got more complicated.

Also remind her that it was her (Willingly assumed!) responsibility to guard herself against pregnancy.

No no, not another! My character is underage and already has a child, there has to be some kind of mistake here.

>>45341951
>his
Wonder when she became male, probably.

>>45341951
>his

>>45341951
Smite them both.

Around elves watch yourselves.

Kill the child for being a half-breed abomination, send the mother back to her slave pits.

What any proper Man would do.

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>>45345232

>maiden
>pregnant

Start smiting the dwarves because I'm obviously some kind of elven divinity.

>>45341951
Am I the only one who thought that baby was Donald Trump?

>>45341951
Seriously guys?

The correct answer is clearly give her another one.

>>45345479
We need to make Fairhaven great again. Let's build a wall around the forest and make the Dwarves pay for it.

>>45341951
He'd wonder why his infant son looks like Donald Trump.

>>45345479
>Make Lothlorien Great Again

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>>45341951
Do the only honorable thing, cleanse the world of this breathing blasphemy and its whore mother and get back to rape/pillaging.

>Let's dispel this fiction once and for all that Seaian Darksbane doesn't know what he's doing. He knows exactly what he's doing; he is undergoing a systematic effort to change this country and make Fairhaven more like the rest of the world. If I'm elected we'll embrace what makes Fairhaven the greatest country in the world.

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>>45345596
>/pol/ is against the most aryan fantasy race
You guys are stupid, no surprise you support Trump.

>>45345656
Oh look, here come the Rubaerion supporters.

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>>45341951

Is that baby Donald Trump? What the fuck, he was a half-elf this whole time!?

EXPLAIN THIS SHIT AMERICUNTS!

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>>45345682
>Pagan tree hippies
>Not filthy slavs
Whatever you say anon.

>>45345682

Elves are Asians, my friend, and Trump is going to be the next president of the Multiverse.

>>45345751
His mother WAS a Scotnigger, you know.

>>45345741
At least he's still fighting in the great succession war. My liege, lord Randolph of the House of Paul, surrendered after the first battle.

>>45345754
>a race of blonde, blue-eyed immortal beings with an ancient culture and tradition
>worse than muh sandnigger religion

>>45345802
Lord Ronald of Paul attempted to warn thee!

Thou couldst have prevented this!

>>45345532

This one doesn't quite work because the dwarves don't receive billions of gold coins in aid every year from the elves and have no desire to live in a forest.

Maybe goblins instead?

I want /pol/ to leave

Or at least be funny

>>45341951

WE'RE GONNA BUILD A WALL AROUND THE FOREST, AND IT'S GONNA BE YUGE! THE PROBLEM IS, WE AREN'T WINNING ANYMORE. WE LOSE TO THE HUMANS, WE LOSE TO THE DWARVES, WE LOSE TO THE ORCS, AND IT'S BECAUSE STUPID PEOPLE, VERY STUPID PEOPLE, ARE RUNNING THIS FOREST. WE'RE GOING TO WIN, AND WE'RE GOING TO KEEP WINNING, WE'RE GOING TO WIN SO MUCH THAT YOU GET TIRED OF WINNING. WE'RE GOING TO WIN AT ARCHERY, WE'RE GOING TO WIN AT BEING RANGERS, WE'RE GOING TO WIN AT MAGIC. MAKE ELVENKIND GREAT AGAIN DONOLDOLAS THIRD CENTURY.

>>45345872
Oh right, my bad. I forgot that the dwarves were the ones who secretly run the world.

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>>45341951
>pic related

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>>45344107
That's horrible, but beautiful.

>>45344107
>Later down the line, he probably grows bitter and starts to drink. Working his shift, sleeping, and only looking forward to drinking again. Both the child's mother, and his former lover will try to stop him, but it won't work.
>This is where your adventure begins

>>45345788

About 3/5 of Americans are Scots.

>Marry elf, become house husband for the first three years of the child's life
>Become mercenary dad for the next three and end up sending large sums of money home to my wife
>Rinse and repeat until she's old enough to strike out on her own
>Extend my lifespan via magic so that I can do this in youth
>Be 600 years old before I show signs of aging and if my descendants want to extend their lives I tell them to get off their asses and learn the magic necessary to make it happen
>My character can support and work with basically anything

>>45341986
This is also my response for my current character. She's also married.

For my human cleric of the god of freedom and travel, he'd probably insist that they come with him: the only way to live is seeing the world. They'd come with him, they always want to come with him. He really would've made a good paladin with all that charm and likeability.

>>45341951
If it was that elf in particular? I'd still be staring in awe/horror at that lopsided head. I mean damn that just looks strange. It's like uncanny valley weird.

Oh, and kill the orcspawn obvs. There's a nearby cliff right?

>>45341951
I guess my dickass Elf thief would be shrugging and asking himself how he even managed to woo another Elf, and a Lady Elf at that into his bed.

Oh well, at least he's ensuring his species lives on.

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>>45345950
Sure thing, Donald Mac Donald

>>45345950
t. Albert McBarbossa

>>45345882

I want reddit to leave, but the fucking quest threads keep bringing you faggots in. We can purge /pol/ once you're gone, but until then heil Hitler gas the bikes race war now.

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>>45346094
>gas the bikes

>>45345882

Funny? Making elfkind great again is funny to you?

>>45346094
I want quests to leave too, they were always a mistake

But /pol/ is worse

>>45346167

Why?

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>>45346167
>another board
>worse than reddit

No, newfag, you are the cancer.

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>>45343149

>>45346094

Anon, it isn't quest threads that bring the redditors, it was #GG. This was the future you all chose.

/pol/ tried to warn you and got fucked over. Now that place is reddit teir aslo, people spouting ebin maymays all over the place. A "second /b/" if you will, albeit loosely politically themed.

My point is, there ain't no purge gunna happen breh. The only way to win this war is to ignore the reddit teir bullshit and post better content.

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>>45346167

No. Fuck this. /pol/ can be awful (less so when they have an agenda instead of general MUH JOOS shit, ironically), but reddit is an evil that must be fought at every turn without mercy or reprieve. I've been here too long to see /tg/ become sterile, censorious, and bland like every other board for my hobbies on the internet has. Enough is enough.

Deny everything to his wife.

Wonder how a maiden gives birth to my child if by the very definition of a maiden they haven't fucked me

>>45346256
>ignore problems and they go away
>implying this has ever worked

Steadfastly telling anyone who expresses signs of redditing to fuck off either drives them away or forces them to integrate into our culture. It takes zero effort. Fuck off gay robot, see? That took me less than a second to type.

Besides, GG was an evil misogynistic attack carried out by 9gag, don't you know? Shekelshoah was the brave and very successful attempt by average concerned citizens to alert advertisers of what they were endorsing and dinged Gawker to the tune of seven million dollarydoos.

I'm curious about your use of "you all", though, are you implying you're not one of us, comrade?

>>45346188
/pol/ intentionally shits up every thread it can making it more /pol/, quests mostly stick to their own threads, venturing out every now and then to annoy the rest of the board with their newfagness

>>45346220
>>45346290
I'm not talking about reddit vs /pol/, I'm talking about quests vs /pol/, I wasn't even aware quests were a thing outside of 4chan

>>45346416

I would still take /pol/ over quest threads, I don't see them shitting up the frontpage.

>>45346450
I use the catalog so that's not much of an issue

>>45346416

What if what we're seeing is just 4chan culture resurging after slumbering for so many years? I remember /pol/ hijackings being a lot less subtle and a lot more blatantly nazi themed. These days, any hint of not being a diehard progressive merits a "go back to /pol/" response, and it's annoying because progressives are by far the worst people to try and run a serious game with political intrigue with.

>>45346388

GG was started because a guy from /r9k/ has his girlfriend cheat on him with Gawker employees to get her shitty game some cred and greenlit on steam.

/r9k/ mods censored him, and no one spoke out.
/v/ mods censored him, and no one spoke out.

So he logically went to /pol/ who went batshit crazy, and called down a reign of terror... ending in the exodus of the majority of decent pollacks. So when I say "you all," I mean everyone who left and everyone who stayed and did nothing. So yes, I am not one of YOU, certainly not. No real 4chan native who did everything they could to stop the incursion would be spouting shit like:

"Abusing people makes them integrate or leave"

You, good sir, are a direct part of the problem.

>>45346256

>Anon, it isn't quest threads that bring the redditors, it was #GG. This was the future you all chose.

Don't lie to yourself, 4chan has been mainstream for years. It was a slow process and inevitable process with multiple causes and not a single defining factor.

>>45346478

Me too, but I remember the days when there were nothing but fun and interesting threads with a sprinkling of normal shitposting. Now the shitposting and most of the memes are gone, and the board is divided between quest threads and informative threads (people asking questions, system generals, etc.). The informative threads are useful for my games, but I kind of miss when this place felt like a community with its own jokes and conversations and cultures, when it wasn't so heavily moderated and was the go-to sci-fi/fantasy board in general. If I had the choice, I'd take the modicum of shitposting and irritating crossboarders (the days after MLP hit were almost as bad as the furry spammer days) over what we have now.

>>45346495

Fun fact, back when the whole GG faggotry was going on, I got kicked out of one of the best Exalted groups I'd ever had because I inadvertently called one of those women a clever con artist. Fuck progressives in gaming, fuck their Blue Rose, fuck their "fluff must match our tastes or we'll call you a bigot" shit, fuck their "noble savage" orcs and kobolds.

>>45346566

Nice dubs, but wasn't /v/ steadfastly behind him at the time? I remember /v/ got blamed for a lot of the shit /pol/ did in that incident because, at heart, /pol/ is everything it accuses the proud Jewish people of being.

>>45346566
I thought GG actually started with five guys burgers and fries.

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>>45346566

Actual /pol/fag here. Board culture there was a lot worse before and during GG than after. Back then it was all nazi memes and accusing each other of being JIDF or Australians. Now we ressurect ancient Egyptian gods to meme Trump into the presidency and begin American conquest of the world.

We have created a real-life PC, /tg/. A man who is openly in favor of killing monsters and taking their loot. A man who might team up with Putin to start the final Crusade. This is everything you wanted, a world of adventure. Aren't you proud of us?

>>45346732

NonAmericans will never know how good those fries are.

>>45346566
> So when I say "you all," I mean everyone who left and everyone who stayed and did nothing. So yes, I am not one of YOU, certainly not. No real 4chan native who did everything they could to stop the incursion would be spouting shit like: "Abusing people makes them integrate or leave"

Whoa nigga. I was on /tg/ the whole time, are you angry at Anons who post on /pol/ or Anons who don't post on /pol/?

Also, no real 4chan native who did everything they could to stop the gay robot incursion would be spouting shit like:

"Just ignore them."

Shrug, deny everything, move onto the next town. #Bardlyfe

>>45341951
Okay, I hate to be that guy, but is that supposed to be Sarah Palin with baby Donald Trump?

>>45346290

This. /tg/ is the last decent place on the internet to discuss traditional games and I am sick and tired of having to tread on eggshells around other people's mental issues or race or sex. I play these to relax, man, if I wanted trigger warnings and "support for genderfluid PCs" I'd get a sociology degree.

>>45346566
>exodus
>majority of decent pollacks

Oh look, cripplechan scum. Fuck off back to your slow-moving and poorly-coded cesspit.

>>45341951

Is she highborn or low? Either way, since she's another elf, it should be alright to marry her or at least keep her in his household secretly.

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>>45341951
>mfw

I guess the elvish pantheon is going to have a new demigod when he grows up.

Call her out on her bullshit because not even my character can get laid

>>45346627

The informative threads are shit too, because there's less space only a really broad or controversial question is likely to get any attention or responses. Quest Threads need their own dedicated board, and I say this as someone who hates splitting boards.

>>45341951
Pull out a lute and perform a moving rendition of "Galadriel Jean is Not My Lover" while looking for an escape route from the scene.

He would be very confused, as he has no idea when he would have screwed an elf, but he would spend a considerable chunk of time lecturing the child over why orcish culture is superior and teaching him orcish ways.

Oh yeah, the character is an elf.

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>>45344107
>half-giant
>Halfling wife

>>45347385
Did the hamster die?

>>45347531
He actually won this match.

>>45341951
Do whatever was legally required of him, and return to his crusade.

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I would be very fucking confused.

I mean, I'm good with my fingers but I ain't that good.

>>45341951

Start working on the next one.

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>>45347258

>>45346896
Hey man, playing a Trans Transmuter actually sounds like a cool idea.

>>45347341

So, you made an elvish SJW?

>>45341951
>Elves
Alright, listen to me you knife eared piece of shit.
If i wanted a half-elf abomination i'd of gone and stuck my cock in one but if one day it came to that
i'd rather take my dick between two grindstones than have a flimsy shit of a child

Try to figure out how she stole my semen.

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>>45347864
No one is gonna stop people from making trans transmuters. Well, some are, in their individual groups, but most won't.

We just don't want the progressives coming in here like pic related. They are a talented bunch, most of them, so why don't they take up space the normal way, by making goood stuuuuff?

>>45347385
The hamster banana pic might be more relevant.

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>>45347258

>>45347864

How would anyone know a trans spellcaster is trans? They could have whatever body they wanted after a few levels.

>>45348356

Elves are expert virtue thieves. If she wanted your semen, you could never have stopped her, and if you go to the town guard they'll just go "HA HA IT'S NOT RAPE IF IT'S AN ELF FAGGOT."

>>45349848
That's the point.

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>>45341951
Really, really honest? Suck elven fat milky titties.

Like my dad once said to me:
>it was so good that you were born, son. They actually touched one another.

>>45350144

An anon after my own heart.

>>45349848

Well, they wouldn't shut the fuck up about it and would *constantly* be letting you know about the challenges heshe faces as a transgender spellcaster.

>>45346896
>/tg/ is the last decent place on the internet to discuss traditional games
Eh the rpg sites not to bad.

A little to much hate for maid rpg though. Sort of just prudish in general really.

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>>45350184
Well, we can't let our child have all the fun, can we?

Sensitive nipples, here we go!

>>45345872
Dwarves use a fucking axe as their signature weapon (for logging, presumably), and they're rich as fuck, while elves are impoverished longbow maniacs who are known for resenting trespassers. Its a perfect fit.

Elves likewise have every reason to be brain meltingly regressive. Your average elf is about, what, 250, and an older one is 500 or so? So if you had an elven region in the modern world, you'd have the younger, more liberal elves have American Revolution era values, probably about how only white land owning males deserve rights, and older, more traditional elves probably believe in feudalism and the divine right of kings.

I will agree it doesn't work too well with dwarves but elves do tend to delegate work to the other races while being amazingly impoverished. Just about any metaphor with dwarves is going to be ROYALLY fucked up because they're usually identified with Tolkien dwarves, which tend to be a bizarre combination of "unbelievably hard working dudes" + "Jews" which does not compute.

Sounds like a good thing. Take responsibility I guess and be glad my kid will have a way better lifespan than I did.

>>45341951
Try to be the best damn father he can when he finds out 18 years later.

>>45350648
Don't forget the ears.

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>>45341951
First of all, maiden means virgin. So elf maiden bearing a child is an oxymoron. Second, if the elf maiden got pregnant by a female elan, who are infertile anyways, that would just make a right mess of things. The number of things that have gone entirely wrong in this scenario are really quite overwhelming.

Fucking Zeus.

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>>45341951
Wonder how the filthy xenos got its hands on my gene-stock, and try to hunt her fown and terminate them both before the Lords Dragon hear of it.

>>45341951
[PURGE] Elf

[PURGE] Elven parts from child. Treat non-elven parts with love and kindness.

>>45346627
Part of the loss if community comes from too many anons viewing all of our games and conversations as something to win, instead of something to have fun with.
I was looking at that immortality challenge thread 12 hours ago or so, half the posts were just "i live until i want to die" or something equally bland.
Or they just repost the same screenshots of old stories, without wanting to make their own.

The quests...if there were fewer of them, it'd be okay. At least they're making new stories. Sometimes they're good, sometimes they suck. But at least it's something new.

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>>45341951
rape her again

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>>45341951
He would wonder how that she-devil tricked him and purge her and the abomination from the land. This treachery would probably spark him to unite the humans under one banner and drive the undesirable races from the lands.
>my PC's are almost always racist towards elves and other non-humans (such as orcs and most non-human humanoids)
>dwarves are pretty chill though, let them work in their mountains with free reign to do what they wish

>>45341951
>Main character is a homeless ,reverse alignment, Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs At Midnight expy with two "Illegally adopted" teenage runaways already. And a habit of getting unstuck in reality and globetrotting thanks to his friendship with an actually respected super.

Well diapers might become an issue, but his high urban survival skill means the kid won't go hungry or cold, And the Scumbags of millennium city know better than to mess with anyone associated with Vic Nitro.

>>45354359
>le racist human meme

Nice one, Anon

Wonder hoe it happened and eventually blame his rogue buddy who likes to get him drunk in an attempt to get him to fall. Attempt to find reconciliation with the mom in the form of him occasionally visiting and giving gold(He's a professional suicider who delves into the underdark frequently to fufill his oath of vengance against the Drow.)

Step out for an ale at the tavern, get the fuck out of town and never look back.

>>45341951
Get as far away from them as possible, maybe even send them to Australia.
He's a shadowrunner with a Corporate Limited SIN.
If someone connects them to him, they will be in serious shit, best case scenario is they die quickly.

If this is somehow all avoided, then I love my impromptu family and make sure to see them whenever it's safe.

My son will hate me, my elven wife will regret meeting me, but I will live on for them.

>>45341951
>tfw my character is a slut changeling bard who'll sleep with most anyone who's attractive

Panic. Panic hard. The baby has a 50% chance to blow my cover as a non human. Might have to kidnap her under the guise of a cult to get the baby. Let her go afterwards and keep the baby if it's a changeling, or leave them alone if it's a normal elf. God, I would be so screwed if it was discovered I was a changeling.