what's the worst character you've ever put up with?

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Let's see here... it's been a while since that game, but off the top of my head...
>more money than the richest man irl (over 100 trillion dollars)
>has the batcave 2.0
>can teleport thanks to a device he got as a gift from that time he saved the aliens (I assume from a previous, unrelated game or something)
>speaks 9 languages (and when the campaign took us to the china, he started speaking mandarin fluently, despite it not being on his list)
>can create temperatures of absolute zero
>can turn into mist thanks to a scientific experiment
>weaknesses were mandatory, so he had 1 (one) actual weakness of heat. He played as if he had no weakness to heat.

>>45333756
Sorry, that's TEN languages he speaks, none of which were mandarin.

There's no way I'm reading that gargantuan pillar of text

>>45335036
this fampai

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>>45333694
>GM'ing some New WOD.
>Player decides to be a Tamuz Promethian, essentially a clay golem with an incomplete soul if you are unfamilliar
>Decides to be the strong, silent type
>Puts all his social skill points in Animal Kin, dispite the fact that animals have an innate aversion to him because he is a promethian
>Tries to Min Max, and then goes on for like an hour about how powerful his character is
>Is nearly killed outright by a vampire
>Still maintains that his character is the backbone of the party
>Proceedes to interject into every scene of dialogue, dispite being the silent type
>There is a diplomat style character in the party who is constantly being pushed aside because the mud man wants to put his two cents in
>Mud guy actually hijacks a conversation from the diplomat so he can engage in combat with the NPC that was about to be convinced to join the party
>When it was all said and done, he decided he no longer was going to play the promethian character and he wanted a new character
>I told him he could make a new character but that I would continue to use his old one as an NPC because I saw no ral motivation for his character to enter exile (what he wanted his characters fate to be)
>He threw a huge fit about that and refused to play any more of that campaign ever again
>MFW

I'm sure me and my cousin were one of those people. I wasn't too familiar with DnD in general at the time, but we fucked shit up horribly.
>he was a elf ranger who put skill points into tripping people effectively using a two-handed sword, and animal companion so he could own a fucking tiger
>also had a pretty beastly strength roll
>it was literally built with the end goal of pissing off a particular DM, but then this DM ended up passing the title off to someone else before it came into play
>he helped me build my character since I was pretty green
>Dwarf warrior, I rolled my points into grapple and dual wield shit
>ended up being on the low end for dwarf weights
>DM gives us a shitload of gold to buy shit so we'll be on par with the rest of the party (cousin's last character died halfway through the campaign)
>full adamantium plate and weapons
>I had razorplate and he had something else
>not really that out of place with the rest of the party's gear so w/e

>our characters were bro's in the army and saw some shit together, for some reason heard of riches to be had and wandered into strahd's castle (Think it was return to castle ravenloft campaign)
>I decide that even though I have dual axes that I'm just going to fucking grapple everything like a retard
>cousin is beasting through every combat encounter by tripping everything and essentially beheading everything one by one without a scratch
>eventually find a locked door
>nobody can pick locks, the rogue player wasn't there that week
>bro figures out that his elf can lift my dwarf due to stupid strength
>using the argument of the hardness of adamantine, he throws my dwarf through the fucking door.
>use this strategy to open anything locked (door, chests, walls, etc)
>at one point he even throws me so I can actually get int o a fight due to my slow movement speed
>finally get to strahd
>bro takes out a chain he bought in town and attaches it to a pre-specified loop in my armor
Cont...

>>45336269
>proceeds to swing me like a giant flail straight into strahd
>heavy damage, some drow bitch steals him away through a portal before we can finish the job
>wizard guy in the party had been learning summons and holding on to them so he could summon 10 fucking dragon whelps to fuck up the undead and vampires.
>something something go through portal
>big hall, animating golems lining the walls and big stone doors with fire runes in one direction
>"oh fuck golems run"
>bro literally throwing me while running so I don't fall behind
>also is using me to break open the doors
>turns out this shitty place is a prison, find wardens office while running
>everyone completely forgets about the golems and starts fucking around looting the office
>bro uses me to open chest, smashes several gems into fine powder in the process
>as my bro snorts the gem powder, I start lighting the warden's prized book collection on fire and the rest of the party grabs anything of value
>exit the now smashed up and burning office
>warden with his army of golems standing there in shock
>bro quickly grabs his chain, hooks it to me, and chucks me through some iron bars fairly high up on the wall
>smash through like usual, the party quickly climbs up the chain with my fat ass holding onto shit using high grapple skill
>pull up chain
>some bounty hunter bitch (same that stole strahd) follows us
>tie her up using chain before killing her on the roof of the shack we were standing on
>escape to the criminal underground
Turns out we weren't supposed to run from those golems and we were supposed to work with the warden after being apprehended by them. After that the group kinda fell apart. Some other notable events from that campaign include:
>I successfully gained a kraken waifu by bluffing a kraken mating call down a dark well
>wizard enchanted the sun sword with levitate and intelligent item since the only lawful good character in our party left before our characters showed up.
Shit was crazy.

>>45333694
>DMing Tyranny of Dragons
>First character submission - 9 year old girl wizard
>Perfect magical genius that has gained world-wide acclaim
>Super rich family with ties in the major countries of the setting get murdered by Jafar
>She is saved by another high level wizard who advised the family
>Trains for several years to reach the rope age of 9 and the magical ability of level 1
>Player says "I don't mind taking extra penalties playing a little girl, but I insist on playing a little girl... For the roleplay"
I never again tried to DM online for randos

>>45338032
I should also add that /tg/ defended this because it was swamped with lolifags at the time.

>>45336384
The image of someone swinging a slightly miffed dwarf in heavy armor around like a flail somehow pleases me.

Fox hengeyoukai monk, chaotic neutral. I plead "14 y/o girl."

>>45338045

Could have been cute anon, shoulda rolled with it

and I fucking hate pedophiles

>>45333756
Was this in some freeform RP?
Christ it blows my worst character out of the water like fishing with a Hydrogen bomb

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>>45338045
>hating on lolis
>>>/reddit/

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>>45333694
>Parents' names are John and Karen
>His name is Mirikon

>>45333694
>Lawful good cleric
>Chose some hindu cannibal-god as his deity
>would roll intimidation checks, and on a pass would bite enemies limbs off
>which he said shouldn't count as an action during combat
We all tried to explain to him that he was blatantly Chaotic Evil, but he'd always say "all clerics are lawful good". The DM made him roll a new character after the first combat, so it wasn't so bad, but still pretty frustrating

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This is more of a That Guy thing but oh well

>playing 3.5
>half-blue dragon were-something CE ninja
>character concept of "lol survival"
>gave us 10 minutes of forgettable backstory
>also katanas because why the fuck not

>first campaign day
>ruler of country asks us to basically be parcel delivery
>clearly going to be combat, but no way to know that IC
>"If anything happens that impairs my survival, I'll be back for you"
>nat 1'd his intimidate roll, queen responds pic related
>follows the party anyways, grumbling about survival

>deliver the massive statue we had to cart up a mountain
>turns out to be a fountain of quicksilver
>guy who accepts the delivery proceeds to drink straight mercury
>"HMM SOMETHING'S NOT RIGHT HERE"
>proceeds to hem and haw for 5 minutes about how the guy that drinks mercury might be dangerous
>only after we leave does he actually roll to ID the thing
>nat 20's his knowledge roll, gets told it was some specific gold dragon
>"WHAT THAT'S THE GUY THAT KILLED MY FAMILY NUU"
>flips shit, in and out of character
>yells loudly enough to get us kicked out of the room we were playing in

>>45333756
Got anymore of not!sub-zero's exploits?

>>45338045
>at the time
How's your first week?

>>45336384
someone screencap this shit

I had to put up with a loli summoner once, and a dude who DMed the other half the time and made his character super OP, but that's it. I've been lucky.

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>>45344849
gotchu senpai

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>>45343155
not that's quite as rage-inducing as the first one, but yeah. I saved a total of three screenshots of his bullshit

>Guy rolls up a Druid with 17 CON and 18 WIS right in front of me.
>Rolls a 5 for strength and complains his character is underpowered.

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>>45348225

>>45342540
>>nat 20's his knowledge roll

aaaaand another bullshit made-up story by someone who doesn't really play.

Was suspicious by line 2, btw.

>>45349020

>it was a hologram

>>45349173
Dude. Lots of people houserule crits onto skill rolls.

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anyone else see these people as just tests to overcome?

>>45338045
>>45338032
>>45339586
>>45345358
>disliking lolis
Geez guys.

Just want to post my idea for a character, make sure it's not too shit, and wether you reckon my DM will let it fly. Will be playing 5e if curious

>Wood Elf Monk, Neutral Good
>Raised at a very small monastery owned by a Hill Dwarf, basically only the Dwarf the monk lived there
>Hill Dwarf effectively adopts monk as his son
>Years go by, Dwarf is seen as a folk hero by the nearby village for him protecting the town
>Nearby village under attack one day
>Dwarf Monk saves village again
>one of the attackers demands mercy, says he was forced or something
>Dwarf Monk kills him
>Elf Monk distraught, believes killing the guy was too much
>Dwarf Monk notes to his son that he'd seen the man attack the village weeks before, and escape
>Father and Son argue ethics, what should be done against what must be done
>Father hits Son
>Son runs off, ignoring anything the father is saying
>Son later becomes alcoholic, wants to reconcile with Dad, but still not sure he sees the world from his father's view

A scale of shit-to-megashit, where's this fall?

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>>45333694
what the fuck did i just read

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>>45345706
And another, just for fun

>>45349173
DMs giving bonuses for a "crit" on a skill check is pretty common. Everyone knows it's not technically a rule after even minor exposure to the game. It still happens.

>>45351046
Seems good. You got a plausible backstory without being overly boring or grandiose, you got your character flaws and personality, you've got your potential for growth and also potential plot hooks for the DM.

Better than most of the people I play with.

>>45351798
Thanks for the feedback. Was worried someone would be annoyed with the lore-pissing or something. Basically only went Wood Elf for the stats, and wanted a Jolly bearded dwarf to be part of the backstory. Think the Dwarf from Dragon's Crown with less Hammer and more Happy

>>45351833
I mean it's only really lore pissing if you're playing a known setting and you change up major aspects. It's not like you've put yourself in place of a prince or anything. No one says all dwarves have to be xenophobic alcoholic miners, that's racist. Are you a racist, anon?

>>45350329
This is some hilariously non self aware /tg/ shit as usual. The fact these people don't realize what website they're on amazes me.

>>45351882
Nah, Although DwarfDad did leave the Hill Dwarves he lived with, though he left on his own terms, and still gets on with them well enough.

>>45351046
>wood elf monk
You lost me at the first three words. Try again

>>45351991
Okay, care to explain why?

>>45351046
>Monk
>Neutral Good
Don't Monks have to be Lawful?

>>45352004
Pretty much the most weeb combo you can get in D&D

>>45352036
not in Fifth Edition apparently. More to the point, if you read the greentext, the reason mine is NG is basically a misunderstanding of Dad's teachings. Where my character would be the sort to help people while trying to avoid hurting people, His dad would be more along the lines of only help those who need help, and in some cases, people need fisting

>>45352069
>weeb
Really depends on how you play the character though doesn't it? So anyway aside from the kneejerk reaction of "monk=weeb" are there any other complaints, or are you just yelling for the sake of it?

>>45352036
Not the greatest of comparrisons, but think sort of along the lines of Revan in KOTOR. He goes off to fight Mandalorians and protect the Republic because it's the right thing to do, whereas the Jedi were much more in line of sticking to the code. Shame it went to piss for Revan though.

>>45352116
I'm just saying that's a red flag, I'm alright with the rest. I've seen and Ok'd worse.

>>45352116
5th Ed rulebook says monks are "almost always" Lawful. So while I guess you aren't technically wrong... I've never seen a successfully played non-Lawful monk. And I've seen a lot of monks.

>>45352174
>I've never seen a successfully played non-Lawful monk

You've never seen a Jackie Chan movie?

>>45352160
Fair point. That being the case (Cause I'm probably gonna keep the class-race combo for the stats) what pitfalls should I avoid? Don't want to end up as "That Guy"

>>45352174
So would LG be a better fit/more advisable? I mean the idea would be that DorfDad is LN, and my character would be rebellious in the sense that they see no reason to bind themselves to a code if said code restricts them from doing good.

>>45352190
That's not what he meant and you know it
But good on you for the joke, i had a sensible chuckle

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>>45352190
I meant in a tabletop.

How do you know Jackie isn't a fighter who specializes in unarmed combat?

>>45352226
I'm not necessarily saying DON'T play a Neutral monk, but a Neutral character is less likely to be capable of the incredibly difficult training you need to become a true monk. And personally I think Lawful Good is one of the most interesting alignments to play if you can pull it off, specifically because LG people choose between whether Law or Good is more important to them in each given situation while still remaining faithful to both. Pic related.

>>45352308
>That description of LG
It is fucking impressive I will admit. Still in the case of the bandits, strip them of their weapons, their armour, and then send them to the families of the deceased in chains. Dead get their justice, LG keeps his hands clean, DM trying to derail the poor sod gets buttmad

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>>45336384
>as my bro snorts the gem powder, I start lighting the warden's prized book collection on fire

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>>45344849
>>45345706
>>45351646
I'm pretty sure this is the second or third time I've told this story on /tg/ since this all happened.
>tfw 90% certain I've been screencapped each time
>now I just need drawfags to illustrate and it shall be complete

>>45349173
>nobody ever rolls a 20 on anything and people who say it happens are liars le meme

>>45349843
Idiots maybe.

Ruleslawyertimeisnigh.

>>45352891
Rule Zero, muthafucka.