What's the best place to hide your phylactery?

>>45238717
disguised as a coin, that you hand to a random merchant caravan.

>>45238717
does the phylactery need to be around dead bodies to reanimate if the one your in is destroyed?

i say sink a ship full of people and the phylactery in the ocean

>>45238717
In your safe deposit box at the bank.

As a ring. Use the ring to hold shut an extremely boring scroll (like a tax form or something). Enchant dozens of other rings, and do the same with them. Put all the scrolls in a leaden box, and put the box in a random drawer somewhere in your massive personal library.

In minds of people.
The memetic phylactery.

Space.

>>45238983
Would melting it down cause it to cease acting as a phylactery, or would it keep functioning as part of an ingot?

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in an egg, which is in a duck, which is in ahare, which is in an iron chest, which is buried under a green oak tree, which is on an islandin the middle of the ocean.

>>45239219
That's great and all, until a particularly zealous group of adventurers show up and burn your library down.

>>45238717
You know how Sigil is at the top of an infinitely tall spire? Good. You get something large enough to house your phylactery in (such as a lead coffin or cathedral). You push it off the edge of the world and it goes into freefall forever. On an infinite plane.

You regenerate into it and promptly teleport to wherever you want to go. Otherwise it is essentially impossible to get to it.

>>45239483
if you can teleport from it, you can teleport to it.

In my rectum

this >>45239520

>>45238717
I remember a /tg/ story once about two immortals who used each other as their phylacteries. It was sweet but also sad.

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>>45239236
>4chan was created by a lich to find the perfect unending meme to have as his phylactery.

>>45239320
Now your phylactery is hidden in a giant pile of burning rubble. What kind of phylactery can be destroyed by nonmagical fire?

>>45239520
How would you know what to look for?

>>45239520
"I teleport to where the phylactery is and destroy it!"
OK guys, campaign's over. Time to play something else.

Tell me, at your table, would "I defeat the army" suffice?

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>>45238717
>hide

Only a coward hides his soul. Mine is in my middle finger. Here, see for yourself ...

>>45239291
I'd rather think the person attempting to melt down such a ridiculously enchanted item would find that the coin is unmeltable(?) by mundane means. So it would continue to function as a disguised coin; though now in the hands of a very confused merchant, or more likely some metalsmith of a random principality liquidating coins to form a stockpile of ingots. the point of it being a coin, is that it is more valuable the more you move it away from you (to most humanoids anyway); its less valueable to melt it down for it's base component then to simply leverage it's buying power to purchase the component in the first place; it being a coin keeps it moving, relatively safe, and innocuous.

>>45239739
and I quote: "Otherwise it is essentially impossible to get to it." clearly it isn't. difficult to find perhaps; until you realize THERE IS AN ENTIRE SCHOOL OF MAGIC DEDICATED TO FINDING SHIT. and a metal coffin hurling through an infinite plane that occasionally generates a nigh demi-god of magical power is eventually going to blip on someones radar. and if YOU can teleport from it, someone else can teleport to it; invalidating your claim. Liches are generally the bbeg, when his phylactery is destroyed, yes that generally is the end of the campaign. Just I teleport to it and destroy it; would be the last instance of that campaign arc, the build up the search for it, the scrying, the looking for clues all the while a pissed of lich is trying to stop you; that IS THE CAMPAIGN.

Lich in my campaign made his philactery a box and hid other cool stuff in the box.

>>45239580

Oh, shit, it's pepes.

>>45240019
Teleportation only works on places you've been/seen at least once per RAW/RAI.

As a lich you wouldn't need to breath right? If so, casting into a deep body of water doesn't seem like a bad bet, considering you wouldn't need air.

>>45239291
>>45239765
I feel like the coin would still be there, in the ingot, unmelted. But what happens when they try do do something with the ingot?

>>45238983
It ends up in a dragon's horde, it gets killed and the heroes end up spending your phylactery coin on whores.

>>45240137
Incase in lead, mithril, steel, australium what ever. If you must have O2 transfigure box to have gills.

>>45240304
>lich gets killed by other heroes
>regenerate in the room in which the whores and heroes are fucking

That'd be awkward

>>45239299
Based slav lych. But his ex still will give info to stupid hero how to kill him.

>>45240136
teleport does, correct; but it also has a 100 mile/caster level stipulation; meaning a lich could not use it either to escape his point of reorigin.

Greater Teleport however has no such stipulation, and merely scrying the target gives a good enough familiarity with the subject to be able to teleport to it. as per the RAW/RAI.

>>45240019
Yes, but how will you get into something falling at terminal velocity when teleporting according to RAW does not accelerate you upon teleportation to be at the same velocity as the intended target.

>Take cyberbrain of megacorp owner
>make it into phylactery
>put it back in him

Best place to hide your phalctery? Inside a holy artifact. The holy aura of the artifact will disguise your phalctery's signature and nobody will destroy something like that to kill you. Also it'd be impossible to get that artifact out of the hands of the people who own it, even for minutes.
>Hey Paladins. I just wanna borrow/destroy the one holy book written in the messiah's blood by the original prophet himself because I think a lich put his phalctery in it.

>>45238717
I know what you're doing, OP.
No I will not tell you where I hid my phylactery.

No, not even if you sell your Elf maiden to me.

I'll take two.
Yes, I am a FemAnon Lich. What does that have to do with anything?

>>45240604
Per G. Teleport:
but in that case you must have at least a reliable description of the place to which you are teleporting
You still need to be familiar with the area. You cannot describe an area that only has a single feature (the falling phylactery cathedral).

If you're worried about scrying, put it in a bag of holding.

>>45240696

Yeah, but won't that trick only work once, and that's only if the order of Paladins can't take you out on their own?

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>>45238717
Sandro had no phylactery though. At least it was never mentioned. He was almost assassinated once, and he didn't mention any immortality.

Are you bad enough lich to have no phylactery and STILL almost conquer the planet twice?

>>45240056
>>45239580
>>45239236

I know this will sound completely fucking insane and I fully acknowledge and understand so, but:

I'm starting to humor there may be something to meme magic.
Like, the collective, focused, conscious of hundreds of thousands of people effecting reality in very subtle, but at the same time noticeable way to those who are self-aware of the creeping inanity.

Maybe meme magic is real.

>>45238717
I'd hide my phylactery on a different plane.

Because that's the plot hook.

>>45240703

I can cut you a deal for three Elf maidens.
But only if I get to join.

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>>45240696
>doesn't understand how holy artifacts work

>>45238717
The heart of an Orphan child, you raised them properly, and told them that no matter what happened youd be there to protect them. Dadmode the phylactery, then the Heroes are asshole for destroying you.

Or better, put your phylactery in a treasure room, with a large golden chest and a simple sign saying phylactery, the sign is the phylactery.

>>45240835
I'm a immortal lich. I fucking built their religion. Because of how gods and dirties work in D&D I literally created god to hide my phalctery.

>>45240931
Probably some mental thing like Confirmation bias, the more something is floating around your head the more you notice it cropping up everywhere.

>>45240980
>Confirmation bias

Fair enough.

>>45238983
>>45239765

You are killed, and begin regenerating next to your phylactery. Whatever wealthy creature whose money pile you regenerate at notice a skeleton growing out of their wallet/horde and destroy you.
>>45239320

What kind of important ring gets melted in ordinary fire? And that's before you lay any spells on the thing.

Although, if the ring looks nonvaluable, chances are nobody will take it to sell, sealing your doom as you regenerate helplessly in the middle of town or whatever.
>>45239236
>>45240962
>Other forms of phylacteries can exist, such as rings, amulets, or similar items.


If you're going to say "well a phylactery can be ANYTHING!" you may as well make liches legit immortal and bypass all this junk you're just trying your hardest to subvert anyway.

Cut a deal with some absurdly power being for them to look after it and you do shit for them on occasion.

>>45238717
make it a rock, embed it in a remote mountainside. put a bunch of enchantments and traps on a larger, shinier rock in the same mountainside.

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>>45240056
Hail Kek.

>>45238717
In an alternate universe populated by clones of you.

>>45238717
Once you have one there no longer is a "best place" because you'll always be a shitty undead minion of evil. Only for the best is there a best place.

>>45238717
inside a second lich. wait no in side a fourth lich each of you resides on the far corners of the earth with one of the other 3s phylacteries.

>>45239299
>Die
>Respawn in an egg, a duck, a hare and in an iron chest, under a massive oak in the middle of the ocean.

>>45240374

>The party notices Lich fully regenerated
>Naked rematch ensues
>The drunken Barbarian tries to club the Lich with his penis
>The Bard Rolls to seduce

In the middle of a giant heap of the phylacteries of every other lichs who used divination magic to find the best spot to hide them, in an otherwise unremarkable section of an well-guarded, expansive, extraplanar maze.

>>45238717
First, make phylactery.

Second, make it be a grain of sand.

Third, throw it in the desert.

Fourth, enchant a shit load of other sand to emit magical energy, so they cant find it by wandering the desert.

Fifth, let the wind blow.

They won't be able to find it, and neither will you, but that's alright.

All the way up your butt. Just dare those adventurers to go for it.

More realistically (as most adventurers are perfectly fine going shoulder deep in a rotted corpse if it means possible treasure) in a nice secret underground lab with no doors, a backup spellbook, and a few of your secondary magial items you didn't have enough slots for previously.

>>>45241991 If you're going to say "well a phylactery can be ANYTHING!" you may as well make liches legit immortal and bypass all this junk you're just trying your hardest to subvert anyway.
On the equally relevant other hand, setting the PCs on a quest to completely stamp out an idea sounds pretty interesting.

what if you make the universe your phylactery

>>45238717
Isn't the answer obvious, Anon?

Behind thousands of power liches.

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>>45239299
This guy gets it. OG lich represent.

>>45239559
Not this again...

>>45244424
>you die
>start to grow back on a beach
>kids use your head as a football
>YOU'LL SUFFER FOR THIS FOOOLS

>>45244549
The the universe is evil and must be smited.
No respawn from that.

I'd make it that old sleigh lying around in mom and pop's home, next to the framed photograph of me wiping slaves and giving Jimmy a piggyback ride.

>>45238717
Make a phylactery out of a creature that always reincarnates upon death.

You got those phalctery ingredients and a phalctery in mind? Throw that idea out the window. Make your phalctery a granite rock. Now go outside and find the nearest abandoned mine. Go to the bottom of the mine and dig deeper. Dig is a AD&D spell that excavates a 5'x5'x5' space per level of the spell caster per round where you get 1 round/level, meaning your 12th level or above spell caster can cast it two or four times and gets 5' wide tunnel going straight down for nearly a whole mile. Now take your stone phalctery and throw it down there. Take 999 identical stones with disguising enchantments on each of them along with a scry/alarm enchantment to alert you if any of them get dug up. Bury each of them just like your actual phalctery all over the globe. If any single one of them gets dig up just teleport over there and kill whatever adventurers or unlucky miners stumbled upon it.

Alternatively stick it on a satellite-like object since, and I quote directly from the scrying spell description, "If the subject moves, the sensor follows at a speed of up to 150 feet." This means your satellite is effectively immune to scrying since it's moving too fast.

>>45238717
ur momma's ass lmao

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>>45238717 pic related

>>45244910
Why, why, why did I laugh.

>>45244549
go home melkor.

>>45244887
I'm liking that last one you absolute madman.
First one really cuts into the time you get to teach skeletons how to spook though. Kinda defeats the purpose of becoming a lich.

A lich should make their own will to live a phylactery.

I dunno how they would do it, but it would make for an interesting campaign if the ultimate goal is to make the BBEG lose their will to live.

>>45240703
PELVIS OR GTFO

>>45240931
My setting has that.

It's the cosmic mechanism that makes prophecies work. The more people know and believe it, the more power it has to invest on a hero which fits the "chosen template".

First I make some kind of abomination with only one weakness, a special magical sword. This abomination has to be super horrible and generally considered a form of natural disaster or some shit that has to be fought off every once in a while

even I Cant kill it without the sword, then I make the sword my phylactery.

Alternatively locate some other "prophecy" object of some sort needed to save the world and make it my phylactery.

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>>45238717
-Enchant a solid chunk of diamond
-Encase in Adamantium
-Encase that in solid rock
-Throw it in a deep sea trench
-Let deep sea vegetation grow all over it

They will never find it.

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Stick to the classics.

Make you phylactery a needle,
which is in an egg,
which is in a duck,
which is in a hare,
which is in an iron chest,
which is buried under a green oak tree,
which is on the island of Buyan.

>>45245199
>aboleths find it

>>45245223 ... someone already posted this.
Whoops, should have read the whole thread before posting.

>>45245223

Not a valid phylactery. Koschei did not follow the rules of 3.5, where a Phylactery is a singular Wondrous Item crafted by the Craft Wondrous Item feat and is worth 120,000 gp.

>>45244771
would it be called rosebud?

>>45245199
>You respawn at the bottom of the sea, filled with unholy terrors and the crushing weight of the ocean turning your feeble skeleton body into dust

>>45245344 We never specified a setting.
And Koschei wasn't actually a lich (even if he was one of the main inspirations for lichs),
he didn't remove his soul as a way to come back to life, he removed his death to avoid dying.

>>45238717 Make your phylactery a Spelljamming Helm. You don't even have to hide it at that point.
Spelljamming Helms are extremely durable and valuable; beyond that, a helm that can occasionally provide it's own helmsman (the lich) would be even more valuable.

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>>45240931

>>45238717
An old, abondoned statue, somewhere deep in a rarely visited forest/jungle. IRL many really ancient statues are still found deep in South American jungle, almost all in really good shape, almost complete, with only natural wind/rain erosion, worst case scenario, you become a museum item or a trophy in some noble's private collection.

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>>45238717
You make a nationwide macguffin out of it. Some arcane device or talisman that brings incredible prosperity to a region. Water in a desert where e dless decanters aren't a thing
Something so damned useful that no sane ruler wouldn't want it. And then you put it in a shitty dungeon and start spreading rumours about it. Wait a bit, and before you know it you'll have a crop of adventurers. Find a dim witted looking bunch and DMNPC them as the old robed man with some arcane wit and a map to the Dungeon of the Macguffin.
The adventurers may need some help, but act humble and offer minor magical help but mostly knowledge. After all you built the damn place, you know where the traps are and what minions you populated it with.
Once the dungeon is cleared, macguffin in hand proceed to the king or equivalent ruler of the region and present the macguffin to them. Maintain humility and be "proud of have had even a small part in such an undertaking", claim to be writing a book about the area or something. You might end up with a bag of gold or a minor magical reward out of it, which is a nice souvenir if nothing else.
After that you just need to sit back and relax. The nation will guard the macguffin themselves, and few will consider destroying it even if they suspect it may have additional abilities other than the macguffin usage. If it becomes necessary, rise to fame as a powerful wizard via illusionary disguises or shapeshifting, become the court wizard and lay your own magical wards on the place before 'dying' of old age and teleporting away to your base of operations. Make sure to disguise as a race with a short life span, you're immortal but nobody has time to pretend to be an elf for a few centuries.

>>45238717
Conivce a group of clerics or druids that it is an artifact of their god.
it has happened.

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>>45238717
I take it you're asking for a friend? Why don't you step outside for a minute? I'd like to ask you a few questions.

Just get a big enough box of adamantine, stuff your phylactery in it, and bury the damn thing out in some wasteland.

In the current edition, you only need your spellbook to change your prepared spells; just never un-prepare teleport.

>>45245631

Setting is automatically assumed to be 3.5 DnD on /tg/ unless explicitly stated otherwise.

>>45246477
But it's not even the most popular edition, why are grognards forcing it?

PF and 5e are more popular

>>45246477
Unless a setting is mechanically implied or explicitly stated, the thread is a systemless settingless discussion of the concept.

>>45238717
In a watch, the watch is hidden in Christopher Walken's ass.

>>45244015
underrated post

>>45246518
>PF is not 3.5
Well sure, in name only they aren't the same. But everything else they are.
>>45246824
>Christopher Walken
>Not Gary Bucy
Whatever anon.

>>45238717
Assuming I've already gone mostly/full spook and the phylactery is a small object like a ring, adhere it inside my eyesocket or break one of my bones, place the phylactery betwix the halves, then mend it back together.
Assuming it's what this 3.5 manual says about it being a size Tiny box with parchment in it, under a stone tile or more likely behind a brick high up in the wall. There's a lot of stone in Lich Layer™: Stereotypical BBEG Edition, and I doubt anyone is going to search "that one tile slightly away from the middle of that one room with the undead owlbear guarding the lever to my inner sanctum" or "that single brick a little under a foot from the ceiling on the left wall in the second room"

Inside Anon's box of condoms.
No one will ever find it.

>>45247066 Not even Anon!
That's ingenious.

It's one of the PC's

>>45247105
>it's the daughter-type character everyobe grew fond of

>>45247129
*everyone

>>45239299
In a fox
In a box
In a house
with a mouse

>>45238717
The Concept of Happiness
To fully defeat me, you must remove all happiness from the world
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>>45247321

So sign everybody up for a tumblr then.

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>>45247321 Reminds me of pic related.

>>45240374
>Lich asks if it can join in.

>>45240703
>Yes, I am a FemAnon Lich

You really think people are going to notice the difference in gender on a fucking robed skeleton? Unless your voice remains feminine rather than becoming some androgynous I don't think they'll be calling into question your decision based on your gender as a lich more so than they will the fact that you want their elven maidens in general.

The Religions Section of your Local Library.

>>45240703
Elf's blood is expensive.
Stop this.

>>45247464 Not even God would be able to find it!
That's ingenious.

Throw that shit inside a black hole

>>45247501
HAH.

>>45240974

That sounds like you've actually just set into motion your own downfall. Eventually you'll have to regenerate, and of course that'll be during some festival or something where the artifact is on display, and you'll have to slaughter the Order just to survive. But of course, one acolyte will be away, and return to find their order dead, their mentor barely clinging to life only to give them one last mission. And with vengeance in their heart, they will destroy you and wipe every trace of you from the planet.

>>45238717
get an Earth Elemental to dig you a hideout 1 mile underground (especially since he won't create a tunnel doing so), then memorize the location and just teleport in and out of there.

It would be practically impossible for anybody to find without prior knowledge of the location.

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>>45247539
Where exactly are you going to find a black hole?
Unless you use a Sphere of Annihilation, but that'll destroy the phylactery.

No wait, I've got it. You make a Sphere of Annihilation your phylactery, and disguise it as something else with a spell.

>>45247668
What happens if two spheres of annihilation collide?

>>45247685

They cancel out.

>>45247733
Less impressive than I was hoping.

>>45239483
But the spire is infininte there's no way to get to the top.
Even if you had a spell that could teleport you there magic doesent work near the spire not even for gods who ignore normal antimagic fields.

>>45247761
See man, what you need is a Rod of Cancellation with a Sphere of Annihilation. That's some big bada boom shit.

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>>45247915
So, annihilation + annihilation = cancellation.
Yet; annihilation + cancellation = explosion.

Magic is bullshit.

In an egg, inside a toad, inside a goat

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>>45247970 also,
cancellation + cancellation = cancellation
annihilation + gate = (sometimes) rip a giant hole in the plane

>>45247812 Sigil, the City of Doors (hub town of Planescape) is above the Infinite Spire.
And also open. The city walls form a C not an O (it's essentially inside a car tire shape, not a donut shape).
>Even if you had a spell that could teleport you there magic doesent work near the spire
Best answer I can come up with is contingency, but I'm not actually sure that works.
>>45240019 see >>45244887
>>45240604 ... or, more likely, Plane Shift away.

>>45240931
MEMES, JACK. THE DNA OF THE SOUL!

>>45248083 Also, for mentioning Planescape, I'm required to point out that Spelljammer is a better setting. /shill

>>45238717
Inspired by Harry Potter, I gave my party a lich who divided his soul into 8 fragments. One still in himself and 7 hidden in phylactry/horcrux items.
The caveat was that he was immortal and could regenerate at any of the 7 phylactries if he was killed, but if they destroyed that phylactry, it was just a vessel for that soul fragment and it would return to the lich, amplifying his power. The only way to actually destroy the soul fragment was to destroy the one residing in his body.
Giving them the choice to try to kill him at his weakest and then hunt down his respawned ass or hunt down the fragments and then take him on in one huge, final climax.
The players thought they'd be so clever by hunting down and collecting the phylactries, but not destroying them, then confronting the lich in his castle in his weakest state. They assumed they could beat him, stand over him as he respawned, beat him down, rinse and repeat until dead.
Well the lich saw what they had and shattered his own phylactries, pouring all their contained soul fragments back into himself, multiplying his power by 8 right there.
I'm pretty tough, but I do try to be fair as a DM, even still, 4 of the 6 players died in their retreat from the castle.

>>45238717
The depths of space, wrapped in the pages of a spellbook that allows one to prepare Greater Teleport.
Last I checked, most scrying spells had a limit to their range.

>>45240931
There is a dude in an animuh who controlls magic involving Jungian Archetype.
Closest thing to meme magic.

>>45248193
Extra doubly clever:
Get the phylacteries, hide them in places of the party's choosing, beat the shit out of the lich and teleport between the phylacteries.
Scrying magic would help figure out which one he was going to next.

>>45238717
Forge it into a weapon and promote it as the only weapon capable of slaying you.

Also, have a second phylactery.

>>45247154
.......S-sam I Am?

>>>45248426 Learning the true name of a lich is rumored to confer power over the creature.

Could you make a snowball, icecube, or a cup of water (the water part not the cup) your phylactery?

Could you then throw it in the ocean, let it melt and literally be unfindable?

>>45238717
Consider for a fact that a person may be prophesied to defeat you. In that case, since we all know you can't really fight fate, might I suggest the following:

Place your phylactery in the second cervical vertebrae of the warrior/hero/god prophesied to defeat you.

And then go and give big, shiny puzzle piece-like gifts to every king, lord, duke or earl in the plane you're in... and possibly to every god and demon lord in the neighboring planes as well.

Finally, make a big deal of building the biggest, most trap and monster filled dungeon you can find and put the biggest, most ornate chest you can find in the middle of it.

In the chest, put a piece of paper that explains that you your phylactery can only be found by someone that assembles all the pieces of the puzzle.

And then, when the puzzle is finally put together, make sure that it spells out the words: "Fuck you, go kill yourself. Shatter your fucking spine, you asshole."

Because if prophecy shenanigans are going to cause you to die, you might as well make it the most annoying, pyrrhic victory you can.

I'll put it somewhere and I won't tell anyone about it.
I don't care how many threads you make adventurers, you won't trick me.

>implying I didn't hide my philactery within one of the posts in this thread

>>45238717
Around my neck

>>45240137
Deep bodies of water in D&D-land are inhabited by very powerful and intelligent creatures. What will you do once a kraken, aboleth or tribe of sahuagin find it and realize what a great bargaining chip they have?

>>45244887
>Alternatively stick it on a satellite-like object since, and I quote directly from the scrying spell description, "If the subject moves, the sensor follows at a speed of up to 150 feet." This means your satellite is effectively immune to scrying since it's moving too fast.
Wouldn't the orbit decay eventually? How would you keep that from happening?

>>45245526
Scale up the adamantium case until it's big enough to respawn inside. Since you can teleport, getting out won't be an issue.

>>45246066
So that's what's inside the Kaaba.

>>45247604
This, but do it on the moon.

>>45238717
anyplace with a lot of obtuse clues pointing toward it

>>45239236
I feel like once you start existing in the collective unconscious you move out of lich territory and into the realms of a minor god.

>>45249329
Well you're already a lich after you've made the phylactery right? Just strap some rocks around your waist, dive down and tuck it under a rock or something. Krakens and such can't overturn every rock, and it doesn't even need to be super deep, just deep enough that it would be beyond the grasps of most sentient beings.

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>>45240931
Memes are microscopic organisms compared to larger forms of psychic parasites. Sometimes memes grow larger than their host (The Source Material) and might kill it, but usually memes only siphon a small amount of attention away from the Source Material.

>>45240904
Truly one by whom are liches are measured.

>>45249876
Please, anon, you didn't have to remind me about that terrible waste of a film.

>>45240931
Sounds like orks and their WAAAGH field tbqh familam

>>45240703
>look at me imma GURL
Tits or fuck off, attention whore

Deep inside a mountain, in a small pond. The way there is difficult for anyone that doesn't know it. The deeper you go, the more Undead Myconids and fungal-infected bodies/skeletons will be guarding it. At the bottom, just where the small pond is, there are huge amount of spores, undergrowth, moss and spores.

>>45240931
Pretty sure memes are literally psion power sources. In D&D they're legit magic.

Now I kind of want a dank memes psion character. Seeding the dankest of memes into the population to increase his power.

>>45250587
I once had a concept for an M&M character with meme-related powers. Called him Doctor Dank.

>>45250464
Harry Potter

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>>45239559
>the lich knew if those damn elves got their hands on his phylactery he was doomed. And so he hid it, in the the only place he knew those dainty elves would never look for it, in his ass.

>>45238717
Embedded inside a steel cast chair.

>>45250678
>Bard rolls to seduce
>succeeds
>Lich is conflicted
>he wants it
>but he must protect his undead ass

>>45239320
You're just retarded lmao

>>45244447
That's the basis for the hog father.

The idea of memes holding great power is explored in ghost in the shell, sac.

>>45248500
>the hero slips and falls, unrelatedly and before figuring out any of that

>>45238717
If I was actually a lich of some sort, I'd probably do some real simple off-the-grid deal: snag a titanium coffin big enough to cast in, pile abjurations on it, put my spellbook and phylactery (why not make them the same thing?) in it, spam Move Earth in the middle of nowhere to bury it, and Teleport in and out as needed.

For an adventure... I'd probably do something fairly similar, but WAY more elaborate. Maybe take over an old underground city-state (think Tronjheim from the Inheritance cycle), build an ecosystem there, cave in any exits and make a point of cultivating and summoning monsters above it. Eventually, the party cottons on do Dastardly Doings, finds a way to enable scrying into the area so they can Teleport into it...

...and now they're going to have the most claustrophic adventure ever. One Dimensional Lock or Mage-Slaying monster and all the comforts they're used to disappear, not to mention the sheer scale of the search and the constant threat of an invisible ambush.

...sonofabitch, now this is part of the campaign I'm never going to run.

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>>45250700
if the lich gets aroused does it get a boner
what if it was a female in life

>>45238717
You're not fooling anyone Sandro. Go back to Deyja

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>>45238717
>the royal crown of the local empire

everyone just assumes its enchanted to choose only the most worthy of rulers.

In reality im just diking about, zappin who I please

>>45240931
Google: Egregore

My players are about to kill the BBEG in a rundown castle overrun by various undead. What's a good phylactery for him to use if I know the players plan on staying in that castle and renovating it for their own use?

>>45238717
Something invisible and hard to destroy placed inside a boring cave in the middle of nowhere that nobody would care enough to use true sight on. Probably cast anti-scrying enchantments on it just in case. No traps, because that would just make people suspicious.

Then in the event I am destroyed by adventurers, I am safe to regenerate in a cave while contemplating what the fuck I did wrong and learn from my mistakes.

>>45240951
>not having a pure soul

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>>45238717

>>45244424
Just enchant one giant piece of sandstone and split it up yourself with a jug of water you brought. It would be way faster.

On a comet that only comes around every thousand years or so.

>>45240931
Well, /mu/ used meme magic to kill Bowie so everything's possible.

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>>45239236
Can I be a phylactery?

First I construct a fortress
A mighty fortress
Spends decades filling it with every trap imaginable, make some Tomb of Horrors tier bullshit
Within the very center of the fortress I place a box
Now I create 12 identical fortresses all over the world, and one on the moon
Slightly different trap arrangements of course
My phylactery is in none of them. It's actually in a smoked meat shop I run in the middle of bumfuck nowhere. It's the unlucky 3-legged rabbit I have hanging on the wall.

>>45238717
Travelling loli brothel.

No wait

Travelling shota brothel.

>>45240696
Yeah, but all that means is that every time you regenerate you do so inside a temple full of warrior-monks who have a massive boner for killing things that look like you.

>>45242856
All good until you get a dwarf infestation. Like ants, but larger, hairier and drunker.

>>45252044
Milhouse is not a phylactery.

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>>45238717

>>45248370
>Forge it into a weapon and promote it as the only weapon capable of slaying you.
So when you regenerate, you do so in the backpack of the dude who killed you? Seems like kind of a shitty idea.

>>45248497
I'm pretty sure the same reason a gold coin phylactery wouldn't be melted down by mundane fire, neither would an ice cube phylactery be melted by the ambient heat of the day.

>>45244973
>phylactery is my will to live
>visit tumblr
>broke my own phylactery

Fucking kids. Some little... I don't know what it was? maybe an elf? I swear it did it's hair with prismatic spray, and wore the tackiest Eye's-of-the Eagle I've seen in my long unlife... told me I was a necroarchal shitlord, that "Orc lives matter", and that I need to.. how did it go?.. "Check my post-living, comfortable-in-bone, privilege" because I was a straight wight male.
I only started trying to communicate with them because they said they were "trans", which I guess is not some shorthand for "transmuter".

>>45252187
Who keeps their holy sword in a backpack?

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Okay, people, this thread happened 99999 times before. You're overcomplicating things, as always.

1) If we're talking DnD, just use Greater Teleport to transport you to some barren planet a shitton lightyears away. Bury your phylactery into the sand along with any backup items you'd want, cast some protective spells, and you're good to go. Nothing short of divine intervention can find it now, and if you're against gods, one phylactery is not going to save you.

2) Then you have Aumvor-style phylactery. Aumvor transformed a skeleton of his rival's apprentice into 216 phylacteries using epic level spell. Then just do #1 ad nauseam, hiding your phylacteries in the horse manure, inside queen's dildo, in adventurer's backpack, whatever. You're already a plot device at this point, so go ham.

3) Create a demiplane accesible only with specific conditions. Bonus points if time on the demiplane passes faster than on the Prime. You can basically make it so your 1d10 days would pass in mere minutes. DM fiat always applies, as do homebrew setting rules, so you might be restricted to only one plane. Then just do #1 and #2.

4) If for some reason #1-3 are not applicable (low magic setting/system without teleports, no planar travel, no epic spells, fun-hating DM etc.), just hide it somewhere well-protected and not easily accesible, like a moon base (being a powerful caster you still can fly, right?), castle on the bottom of the ocean, asteroid orbiting your planet, enclosed cave system with poisonous gas etc. You don't need to breathe, sleep or eat, your opponents are likely to need all that. Go for some places without air, supplies, or anything that could find it.

>>45247915

That explosion got buffed up in Elder Evils as well - 20d6*10 in 600ft.

And putting one into a Well of Many Worlds causes the entire prime material plane to be consumed within 12 minutes... but that may be plot-related.

>>45238717
Put it in a safe. Place a number of other items in safes. At least 10. Send each safe to a different ship, you may want to do this over a period of months. Make your phylactery one of the ones in the middle. Sink all the ships once they're several days out to sea, making sure they are all sinking in different seas, or at least far apart. Resurrect the crews of the ships and bind them to the wreckage to guard the safes. Congrats, your phylactery is not only out somewhere exceedingly difficult to find, its in one of a number of boxes and barrels on board a a sunk ship, its in a difficult to unlock safe (I suggest trapping the safe but thats your call) and each shipwreck is guarded by an army of skeletons.

Bonus points for the DM: The PCs start off on a sinking ship. Eventually, it turns out that this is the ship the phylactery was on, or at least one of the ones in this convoluted hiding plan. Enjoy parties face when they realise this.

>>45238717
Send it to the hero along with a note to have them sell it to a merchant(you) for starting funds then bury it in a public area.

>>45252419
>In each safe without a phylactery is a tablet reading "Your phylactery is in another wreck."

>One of the tablets themselves is the actual phylactery.

>>45240714

I think an area described by a single feature unique would be incredibly easy to describe.

No one is going to confuse: "a metal box plummeting through empty space" with some other ...

oh wait, just throw a new metal box off Sigil every d3 weeks for like 2 years.

>>45252309
>You're overcomplicating things, as always.
I like to think that people who create those threads are young liches who are slowly becoming paranoid about their phylacteries, so they try to convey most elaborate and complicated plans to prevent anything bad from happening, and those plans slowly drive them insane as they try to make a single grain of sand, the world, or the idea their phylacteries.

>>45252449
>And every safe is trapped too.
>The party goes through like 4 rogues opening them all only to find every fucking one contains a tablet.
>The party decides they were sent on a wild goose chase and goes to start looking for other clues.

>Lich wins.

>>45252457
Except the problem is, the metal box is falling down a literally infinite pillar.

>I teleport to a metal box that's \possibly anywhere on a literally infinitely tall pillar
>Scry it
>By the time you teleport, the box is already further down and you've lost it

Good luck teleporting where you need to be.

>>45246053
What if people start to notice that the item doesn't do what it was rumored to do? It's not like they're going to keep protecting an artifact if it doesn't even do what it's supposed to do.

>>45252489
And thats when you start to use arithmancy. Unless the box somehow slows down and speeds up, you can calculate where it will be in a minute based on where it was when you scryed it.

Solve for x, motherfuckers.

>>45252509
>solve for x
>x can be any possible number between zero and literally infinite

>>45239759
Underrated post.

>>45252514
Arithmancy motherfucker. Magic maths. 0-infinity is like 1/3 of the numbers that Arithmancy probably uses. Its magic, the laws of probability are its bitch, as well as logic.

Now, if yer gonna make the PCs work it out, you might as well just admit you don't want them to be able to kill the lich. Not sure why you'd be that anal about it but each to their own.

Come to think of it, doesn't physics in the modern day already work with some pretty ridiculous numbers? I know theres nothing technically infinite but still, I doubt theres much literal magic maths can't achieve that modern physics can.

>>45252489
>I teleport 1,000ft below this object!
>Casts greater teleport
>"Now where is tha-
>*Gets hit with a 400lb coffin going terminal velocity*
>Dies from 40d6 blunt damage.

>>45239567
Do you have that screencapped? Or do you remember the basic plot? It sounds cool.

>>45239588
True. Torch fuel can't melt steel rings.

>>45240696
>The holy aura of the artifact will disguise your phalctery's signature
That alone makes your suggestion a good one. The tricky thing is, how do you get a phylactery to stick to a holy artifact? That's like bacon grease on teflon.

>>45240931
What if your phylactery was a word, and as long as that work keeps getting spoken, you keep respawning after death? You only truly die when no one in the land ever says the word any more. That word?
He whom we must never mention.

The more infamous you make yourself, the more immortal you become. The meme becomes the gene.

>>45244973
Oh wow. This could be delightfully tragic.

>>45248497
I like the interpretation that a phylactery is undone as soon as it's not "recognizable" as the thing it was when it was cast. So a snowball that melts stops being a phylactery. A ring that gets melted into an ingot stops working. But if it's a snowball on a snowy peak and never melts....

>>45251626
A foundation. They need to remove it and completely ruin the castle to stop the BBEG.

>>45252561
>''I teleport 1,000ft below this object and 10 feet to the right of it''
>''I cast levitate on myself''
>''Now we wait''

>>45252061
>identical
>not making them different so each of them is a whole new nightmare
>not making some of them apparently similar but then suddenly different so the invaders lower their guard before getting hit from a side they didn´t expect

>>45252646
>blinks
>*ZOOOOOOoooooomm...*
>Crap we missed it.

>>45252773
And then we try again. Its a caster, any such setback is at most 8 hours of rest from resolution.

A sperate plane of existence where you are literal god

>>45252773
You don´t even need magic to calculate the terminal speed and how long it´d take you to reach it.

So you could teleport Xt below, a couple feet to the right, where X is the exact distance that would make you reach terminal velocity at exactly the same point the coffer is passing next to you.

And then you reach out and grab it, as you´re both falling at the same speed.

If you fall too fast/too slow, carry some extra weight or use a toned down feather fall to adjust yourself to the terminal velocity of the coffer.

>>45252795
>Featherfall the thing
>Grab it and greater teleport back to sigil
>Open it up
>Traps galore
>Wew, now we don't need to pay the rogue.
>Inside is a tablet reading "The phalctery you are looking for is in another casket".
>Next to that is the equivalent of two cellphones stuck together, philtering the phalctery's signature to a this coffin,

>>45252817
>Scry for all such things
>Hire casters equal in number to the amount of caskets and such you find plumetting into infinity
>They all go and get one each
>Eventually find the source casket

>>45252847
Aren't Phylacteries usually ridiculously hard to break?

Not that that helps much, if anything a near invincible grandfather clock would arouse so much suspicion as to get it found, but still, you could survive long enough to resurrect and then make a new one or something.

>>45238717
An ancient magical sword, claimed to have been used to slain so many of the wretched evil that haunt this world that it has actually been tainted by their aura. The rumors (and obvious enchantments) still claim it to be really good for killin' demons/undead/tax collectors/whatever.

Leave it in some ruins in a forgotten and wild part of the world, in a temple wrought with traps. Pitfalls, arrow traps, a boulder or two. Make it a challenge. Keeps it authentic.

>>45252836
>You open the source casket with Mage hand instead, rogues were getting kinda expensive to hire.
>Nothing pops out.
>Look inside.
>One hundred undead Falcons fly out.
>Trying to kill one you find they each contain a slightly smaller magical skeleton fairy that moves faster than the bird.
>If you manage to get the right one before the lich finds out (all those caskets probably had some kind of alarm spells on them, alerting him of your activities) you find an egg.
>Egg teleports due to a living organism coming into contact with it.
>You spend an hour using scrying and greater teleport.
>You teleport to the egg, which the lich is holding.
>Get decimated since you've used a lot of spell slots today and the lich is literally touching his missing soul fragment.
>Lich does the entire thing all over again while new adventurers are being trained.

>>45252908
At that point, would you not have a full fucking army of people hired? Like, fuck expense. This is the BBEG we're talking about here!

Also, what sorta idiot caster would even open the caskets while they have no spell slots? Come on man, unless your players are absolute idiots that ain't gonna do it.

My phylactery is a mountain. They'll never do enough damage before my army shows up to chase them off.

Make a beautiful castle a phylactery. Gift it to a good king.

>>45238717
Inside a loaf of bread that you serve to your 12 most trusted desiples

>>45253026
>Dwarves find valuable ores in mountain
>Use it to build their capital
>Its true nature is discovered by the PCs

>Free dwarf army defending your phylactery

I'd make mine the key to preventing the apocalypse, It will be the only thing keeping the End Times from happening, And if some faggot hero destroys it I get a final fuck you as Cthulhu pops out and skull fucks the shit bag hero

>>45238717
Another Lich?

>>45240367
>australium
Truly, the strongest metal

>>45253133
Strongest at shitposting.

>>45238717
I turn a neutron star into my phylactery.

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>>45238717
In the Cloud.

>>45252836
but easy mode "cast to win" chucklefucks like you always think the first few scrys are all they need and get fukd

>>45253916
I'm now picturing Steve Jobs as a lich. Would be a cool bad guy now that I think about it.

>>45252148
Dare I even ask what this is supposed to be?

No. no. Don't tell me.


A buttplug?

>>45254097
Not really, no. Just if you have the time you can scry pretty much infinitely.

I don't ''cast to win'', by the by you knob. I've never even played a fullcaster, closest I've gotten is a fucking paladin.

>>45254141
Picture him?
He already is.
How many artists, engineers, musicians, teachers, technicians, and corporate workers have sold their souls to Apple, only to keep upgrading every six months?

His ancient hexes, Emoji, render even the most astute communicator into a babbling idiot.
His mindless undead horde looks to him and him alone as their savior.

Face it, Jobs is merely biding his time, soon his power will be infinite, and all hope shall be lost.

Create a puzzle tesseract (3.5 DMag Compendium) and hide it in the deepest part of your unimagineably large fortress of ever-rotating doors.
Good for you that you put the skeleton keys right next to your phylacterary.

Scry+Teleport=Dead lich
This is true for all of these ideas.

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>>45256364
You can scry and teleport across a plane? Oh please tell me more about how haooy the maters of those planes'll be :3

>>45256364
Not really. Destroying the phylactery only stops the lich reforming. And even then, many of these ideas include numerous guards and traps that can kill you even if you teleport directly to it, assuming you even can. And both of those, scry and teleport, are rendered useless with a Null Magic Zone or equivalent thereof.

Read the thread you mong.

>>45256407
Greater scry+Greater teleport+Invisibility=Destroyed phalctery.

>>45244447
This is also how Freddie Kruger works. He keeps coming back if people so much as remember his name.

You can't even use scry on an object.

>>45249409
The moon is orbiting outward at a very slow pace. eventually it will escape earth's gravity well and fly aimlessly through space until it collides with some other astral object.

>>45238717
In a room full of magic enchanted pebbles or in a dweomered mountain.

>>45238717
Up the king's arse.

>>45238717
In a room full of enchanted and strange and exotic looking bottles, jars and cups that all kind of look phylactery-ish. The real phylactery is not the plain cup, but the most average looking thing in the room.

>>45257563
Wouldn't that be foiled by someone just fireballing the room? I mean, even if it wont destroy the phylactery, they can destroy everything else till they find it

>>45238717
You make your phylactery a simple black box, and you hide it under a rock....

>On the Elemental Plane of Shadow.

>>45257594
Yes, but they lose all the treasure in the room. That's something NO adventurer would do.

>>45254167
>>45254167
A princess plug to be exact.
Not that I would know.

>>45257707
I dunno. My party tends to put ending the BBEG above loot but maybe they're just weird like that

>>45257738
What in the fuck is a ''princess plug''?

>>45256364
Scrying only targets a creature, so can't scry on the phylactery straight up anyway. Can't scry on a level 15+lich because of mind blank and can't scry on a level 9+ lich's phylactery (by targetting him when he regenerates) because mages private sanctum. So how does it work exactly?

There was an epic level spell called "Nailed to the Sky" that basically put someone in orbit. If you could do the same to some durable but mundane object, like an anvil, you'd have an orbiting phylactery no one could obtain.

>>45257775
A jeweled buttplug, duh.

>>45257920
Ah. I presumed it meant something drastically different. Im not exactly knowledgeable on the topic.

The bloodline of my descendants. I'll have like 4 kids and encourage them to have kids and wait. So then if you want to kill me in like 300 years you'll have to murder a few hundred innocent people.

>>45258084
Not sure you can do that since it needs to be a physical thing but you could always have like 12 kids, make a bunch of phylacteries as identical signet rings and give each kid one and emphasize how important each ring is to the kids.

Like, family pride and shit. Get them to pass them down and shit. A while down the line, you have 12 signet rings in the hands of 12 seperate people whom are all dedicated to defending said signet rings and probably magic users.

>>45246477
So lock a couple scrolls in there or something.

>>45240703
RAVINICA
A
V
I
N
I
C
A

In a place nobody will ever look.


At home under your mattress

>>45240019

There's also an entire school of magic dedicated to foiling it.

Personally I put mine underground on another planet (Usually Mars, or something. Interplanetary teleport go!) under permanent nondetection. Not only can you not find it, but you wouldn't know what to look for, and by some miracle you did, wouldn't be able to breathe when you arrived.

>>45258574
What if your opponent is also a lich?

>Make it a tiny steel pebble
>Conjure a big fish and make it swallow it
>Throw it in the ocean
gg no re

>>45258590

... Then he can't find it? I mean, you know, nondetection and alarm.

I'm more worried about Ethereals finding it.

>>45238717
Make a large, thick lead container, big enough inside to at least fit me and my phylactery. Dump it into an oceanic trench. Whenever my body is destroyed, I'll just regenerate inside the container and can teleport out. Meanwhile all those pesky adventurers will have to dive to unspeakable depths and find a way to haul out 100 tons of lead from the abyss.

>>45252022
Fuck, how did they do that?
Also, now I need to use Meme magic to kill Thom Yorke or something in revenge. I liked David Bowie.

>>45258970
And what about Aboleths?

>>45258970
>falls into a molten rift at the bottom of the ocean.
>You die.

>>45252847
A coin would work, then?

I'm assuming you can't just scry or use detection on these things.

The best answer is clearly a plain old rock. Take it to the ruins of a burnt-out or raided village in some bumfuck part of the forest, toss it wherever you feel like. If you want your hiding spot to be more "guaranteed," just bury it up against a house or something and tend to the soil there until any traces of loose dirt are gone.
>>45258668
Oh hell, anything could happen to it in the ocean. Ever heard of underwater volcanoes?

>>45254141
>>45256006
Damnit, this might be my next shadowrun quest.

>>45259222
I trust a fish not to shove his dumb ass into one

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>>45238717
Get a timeshare on the Fortress of Gloom on the Negative Energy Plane; they've got a well-fortified vault specifically for the purpose of guarding phylacteries.

The downside is that you'll be stuck guarding the place for a month out of every year.

The upside is that your phylactery will be guarded by dozens of liches (and their assorted entourages) at all times.

>>45259264
>Fish eventually dies of old age or gets eaten.

>Fish or shit falls to bottom of ocean and into a molten rift.

GG no RE

>>45238717
spoons

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>>45259316
>160 paladins with holy avengers kick in the door and raid the place.


Nothing is full proof anon.

>>45259264
Your trust is misplaced. Fish are fucking stupid.

Also, one way or another, the pebble is going to make its way out of the fucking fish, then it's just at the whim of ocean activity and whatever the fuck picks it up (keep in mind that there are sentient beings and civilizations in the ocean).

>>45258181
I guess, but the bloodline would be more fun. Especially if it's a campaign where the lich has been sleeping or "lost" for thousands of years but might be rising again as someone born into the bloodline.
Or if someone is just killing all these people who are distant relatives and they don't know why and they contact the PCs for help.

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>>45239299
Mah nigga.

>>45259366
>>45259433
I was thinking it'd eventually end up buried under the sand inside the rotting corpse of a fish, but the underwater intelligent beings are a problem

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>>45239236
Done.

>>45259488
The ocean is far too turbulent a place to leave something so valuable.

>>45259395
Negative Energy Plane. In a good sized Dimensionally-Locked zone, to force them to come in overland, instead of teleporting in. And the place is full of dispel traps, to get rid of the magic that meatbags need to survive the planar conditions.

Armies of Paladins could invade Hell, too, but they usually don't... and if it does come down to it, there's a pretty sizeable army ready to meet them if they do come knocking. See >>45244918

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>>45259592
They can dispel dispel traps just by fucking detecting them. Holy avengers are an area dispel. But it is kinda unfair to give them all that.


All in all it would be pretty fucking epic.

I kinda want to do this now.

>>45259592
wait nvm, it does not act as a counter spell.


>to get rid of the magic that meatbags need to survive the planar conditions.

Will work.

>>45259647
> Paladins
> Detecting sophisticated magical traps

Also, that many Paladins with that much magic item investment need to be introduced to Mordenkainen's Disjunction. And then die en masse.

>>45259009
Last time I checked aboleths were rare and generally not capable of carrying a 100 ton block of lead. Also aboleths wouldn't see it since it would obviously be disguised to fit the rest of the ocean floor.

>>45249679
This is always the plan.

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>>45238717
Hide it in the elemental plane of phylancteries

>>45251799
>What happens to an atheist after death?
Simple. However they lived their life they go to the afterlife of whichever god closely matches. In the case of multiple gods that believe so they play celestial rock paper scissors.

>>45239299
>>45247154
As a speck on a flea on the tail of a frog on a bump on a log at the bottom of the sea.

Shove it up the Tarrasque's nostril.

>>45259768
That kinda depends on the setting, in PF, for example, atheist souls are fed to Groetus to keep him away.

>>45238717
Mine is behind the Voyager plaque.

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>>45238717
There has to be a way to integrate it into the body of a tarrasque. Hmm

Since it presumably has to be a lifeless object but still count as a part of tarrasque's body in order to regenerate with it could we perhaps use a claw or part of the carapace? Can tarrasque get kidney stones?
I suppose that the real question is how to overcome its spell resistance in order to actually perform the ritual and make the soul attachment effect "stick"

>>45259911
It's going to be a long trip home if you get resurrected.

>>45238717
I find the biggest, most baddass troll i can find in the entire everything. I beat him into submission and remove his skull, or some appropriate bone, then i make that into my phylactery. Once that is done, i feed the bone back into the trolls body and let his natural regen re-absorb it (taking out any regenerated duplicates if necessary) and send him on his way.

It's not full proof, but it seems better than leaving it in one place.

>>45260042
>>45260232
>let's place it with adventurer magnets
Yeah, I dunno about the soundness of your plans.

>>45260282
>Terrasque
>Adventurer magnet
I don't think so

>>45260282
hmmm, possibly true. Is there any neutral or even good creatures with regeneration?

>>45260311
The troll I'd probably just +5 normal CR, which makes it 10.

>>45260333
What happens if a troll becomes a lich? I've forgotten how undead trolls work.

Strike a deal with Asmodeus and ask him to keep your phylactery safe in exchange for whatever he asks.

>>45260412
I think it loses it's regeneration

>>45249679
Or at least a Melty Blood character

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>>45260484
Rumors are the best phylactery.

>>45259768
In Forgotten Realms they get stuck in a wall in the city of the dead until they lose all memory of their life and simply groan along with the rest of the amnesiac souls.

>>45260744
Ah, the Wall of the Faithless. Jolly good times.

>>45238717
Best place is a place that your enemy would never even know about.

Hide you phylactery under a Paladin Order's HQ. They'll look for it everywhere to kill you, but will never find it because it's literally beneath them.

>>45238717
In your pants, OP. Not like anyone tries to get in there anyway.

>>45260744
What the fuck? WHY?
That's worse than the shit that happens to the baddies.

>>45252114
But "Millhouse is not a phylactery" is a phylactery.
And thus, I am reborn.

>>45260958
Yep, apparently the gods hate unbelievers more than they hate bad guys.

>>45251802
>destroying your own phylactery

>>45244447
Dresden Files has this idea with the Oblivion War.
Disappear everyone who knows about [disgustingly OP demon god], then kill them. Do the same to any books about same, but replace "kill" with "burn". Then wipe the minds of anyone on the team. Then erase the knowledge of [disgustingly OP demon god] from the Archive of all human knowledge. Then wipe your own mind of the whole process.
Now [disgustingly OP demon god] has no way to access the mortal world because no mortal can let him in because nobody knows he's at the door, or that there is a door.

>>45240056
No it's
>

>>45239236
>>45239580

What do you think the game is?

>>45260996
Aren't the faithless used as power source or something?

>>45253916
>the cloud
>secure
The Fappening was an adventuring party trying to kill you. The nudes were just random encounters.

>>45239236
‘No one is actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away…’ - Terry Pratchett

... So anon, what you're saying is that Terry Pratchett is a Lich?

>>45261421
I wish ;_;

>>45240931

WAAGH is real

>>45261421
Some kind of consequence or story narrative lich? Where after their death, if they affect enough people so they can't be forgotten then they just sprout into existance?

>>45252561
>Teleport a sphere of annihilation directly into the path of the phylactery
>Problem, lich?.jpg

>>45261242
"You enter a 10 foot by 10 foot room. A nude photo of Jennifer Lawrence is guarding a chest. Roll for initiative."

>>45261191
No. The God of death who made the wall was just an enormous dick, and the God of death after him couldn't really get rid of it because he was a former mortal, and him uprooting a previous God's rule could cause problems.... Of some sort.

>>45238717
Place it inside another lich's phylactery.

There have been suggestions flying that a phylactery could be a mass of memes and raw will to live, so why not dreams?
I'm not talking about dreams you see while you sleep. While it could make one mean Freddy, I'm talking about things people want to achieve.
That little boy wants to become a knight? I'm hiding in that dream. That girl dreams to own a shop? I'n inside that dream, too.
Maybe I just lurk in those dreams, maybe I feed on the power the dreams have.
If you wish to kill me, you need to destroy the dreams of everyone in this realm!

>>45238717
Safety deposit box in a bank deep inside your nemesis' territory.

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>>45240931
>meme magic
You stupid fucking asshole

WHAHAHAHAHAHA!

IDIOTS!

MY MISSION IS A SUCCESS!

SOON I WILL BECOME IMMORTAL, AND NOBODY WILL KNOW HOW TO FIND MY PHYLACTERY!

THIS THREAD WILL NOT SURVIVE, AND NOBODY WOULD WANT TO LOOK UP THE ARCHIVES TO FIND MY SECRET!

WHAHAHAHAHA!

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>>45252259

>>45251775
HOw can you when the world is full of elves and demon sluts?