>>45084262 Everywhere your party passes through, the crops wither and fail. You're likely to be harassed and even attacked by mobs of angry peasants if you stay in a single place for more than a day or two.
You can never settle down, you can never call a place home and you can never really get to know anyone, unless you can convince them to join you in your endless wander.
>>45084262 Every time the party stops at a village the crops receive an explosive increase of caterpillars. This of course ruins the crops, but it also has the added side effect of attracting droves of parasitoid wasps and hornets looking for hosts for their eggs/prey for their larvae. Assuming everyone can avoid starving/being stung and bitten to death someone is eventually going to put two and two together and the players are probably going to be run out at best, or sacrificed to appease the goddess at worst. Might seem pretty extreme, but when you piss off a kind deity you'd best be prepared for shit to turn ugly real quick.
>>45084509 >>45084403 >>45084388 >>45084382 >usually benign goddess If she was the caring motherly god type, would she really throw her faithful people into despair and starvation, just to get even with some impolite murderhobos?
I find the idea with farmed food becoming nonedible better, since it focuses on the individual offenders. How about stuff made out of plant fibres giving out, when least convenient?
>stitching in a backpack tearing right when fleeing from an enemy >clothes start chaffing sensitive areas during a royal audience
I would think that said godess is, even when angered, not the vengeful "death to you all and everyone you ever met" type.
>>45084604 Corn is shit. If she's a Harvest Goddess who's primary symbol is corn, this better be a meso-american themed campaign, because there's at least 10 other crops that are way better than corn in every way.
Even in the modern world corn would be almost irrelevent if American swing states didn't grow corn as their best crops, thus inspiring lots of federal subsidies. It'd be a mexican food thing on the level of, like, Nopales. And Americans wouldn't be half as fat as they are because High Fructose Corn Syrup wouldn't be pretty much fucking free, and thus shoved into goddamn everything.
Fuck Corn, fuck Corn Lovers, and fuck the Corn Goddess. Wheat Goddess better. Potato Goddess a best.
>>45084262 >What sort of terrible shit can she do to them?
>Anything cultivated either rots, molds or otherwise turns and spoils whenever they attempt to eat it. No one else is specifically effected by this and normal people can still consume the items as if they were normal even if the person had previously touched it. >This is made worse by the fact that you're cursed with an unnatural craving for baked goods, fried food and carbohydrates.
>All domesticated animals will target them with unnatural ire and disrespect: pigs, turkeys, geese, horses and even dogs and chickens will all lash out at them specifically.
>Constantly plagued by insects. Not even mosquitoes or disease carrying ones, but 'annoying' insects such as beetles, pill bugs, weevils, aphids, grasshoppers, locusts, silverfish, all just idly nibbling on their personal items and so forth.
>Despite not wronging country folk in any direct way- they seem to look upon these people with audibly and visible resentment, disdain and annoyance.
>>45084701 You could get away with Potatoes in a medieval setting as much as you could get away with people speaking English, and having a monk in the party. Potatoes are a great crop, and if the place that they're from is on the mainland in your setting there is no reason they shouldn't be a staple up there with wheat.
>>45084765 Name 2 unique uses to a pre-industrial society.
You can't make oil out of it, like olives. You can only make a shitty version of flour that makes disgusting bread. Worse than potatoes for that. You can barely even fucking digest it. Corn whiskey is fucking shit, again worse than potatoes and wheat.
Weight/Food ratio is lower than wheat and potatoes as well. For a huge, heavy stalk you get like, a meal's worth of corn.
She's probably really pissed at the assholes that raze villages and sow their fields with salt. Your mission, on her behalf, is to travel to those villages, use the boon she's granted you to restore their fields, and track down the transgressors.
And tell me when I go off track here. >Farming and Crops therefore >fertility therefore >Life She can grant you some CRAZY regeneration powers, though you're weak to fire and frost.
And only after I've finished this do I read the post and realize the party is on the wrong end of this goddess.
>>45084836 Ah, I see. This I could get down with. Still, I would play it more in the style of small things, in really inconvenient moments. Just more fun to play with, than "Woe is us, for we are forsaken by the gods."
>>45084262 Adding another thought to the whole shebang. As far as I can think of pretty much all common alcoholic beverages are derived from crops, right? So play with that. Only being able to drink water, can be a curse onto itself depending on water quality and availability of cures/medicine.
Also, if any PC has an addiction to alcohol, let him drink it, but not get any buzz out of it.
>>45084860 Not only is that not true, it's also got worse land use/food ratio than wheat, and straw is a useful byproduct. A stalk of corn is huge and has maybe 4 ears on it, which in a pre-genetic engineering society will be smaller than the ones you're used to. Wheat, on the other hand, will be much shorter than you're used to seeing, and can be grown during the winter in all but the harshest climes (where potatoes are king).
The non-food straw is a useful byproduct, especially as an insulator. You can't do shit with corn stalks because they rot.
>>45084866 Polenta isn't shit it's just rare, like corn would be.
>>45084876 Like all other corn products, without butter in it you would change your tune real quick. I'd rather have pita bread to accent a soup than cornbread without butter (both on top of it and in the recipe).
I will cede that corn (and it's bread) pairs VERY well with butter. (but what doesn't?)
>>45084966 >Historically, polenta was served as a peasant food in North America and Europe. The reliance on maize, which lacks readily accessible niacin unless cooked with alkali to release it, as a staple caused outbreaks of pellagra throughout the American South and much of Europe until the 20th century.
Rofl your corn causes diseases even when it's totally pure.
>>45084262 >Man angers Corn God >Man eats corn for dinner >Corn is hard to digest, often still in kernals in your shit >Goddess makes the kernals into popcorn >Popcorn popping out of every orifice >Popcorn out the ass, popcorn out the mouth and nose, sinuses full of popcorn >It never ends, it's as if their insides are slowly being turned to popcorn >So much popcorn you can't fucking breathe >Man dies choking from airways filled with popcorn
>>45084509 here, the reason I made the punishment so harsh is BECAUSE the goddess is benign. Do you know how badly you would have had to fuck up to piss off a nice deity? How much you would have to weather down centuries of patience to the point were a being that's usually all about providing for her followers with a bountiful harvest just up and goes "fuck you guys"? There's a reason you don't piss people like that off, let alone deities, and it's because once you get them to that point it's like flipping a switch: They can't filter and aim it properly like people that get angry more regularly can. It just builds up over time until the breaking point before everything is let loose like a dam bursting. Any pent up aggression that was there before you came along is now being let loose to rend you and anything near you asunder.
Alternatively: She's a goddess. Gods are petty. Females are petty. Female Gods are extremely petty.
>>45085067 >Because she's a goddess, not some wyrd puppet master pulling the strings of fate behind a curtain of divinity. Some would argue that's the point of divinity, but given she's in a polytheistic pantheon, have her go full Olympian and show up as an invincible dire animal of appropriate type.
>>45084774 >even dogs and chickens will all lash out at them specifically. >chickens Chickens are evil little fuckers that attack everything. EVERYTHING. This is normal chicken behavior. Once they leave the 'aw, cute' chick stage, they're chaotic evil bastards as a rule.
>>45085082 >>45085067 If she is in a pantheon, that is on speaking terms, have her call in a favour from one of the other gods. >"hey god of war, next time this douche tries to >shoot an arrow, let me turn it into a carrot"
>>45084774 >All domesticated animals will target them with unnatural ire and disrespect: pigs, turkeys, geese, horses and even dogs and chickens will all lash out at them specifically. >pigs, turkeys, geese >geese
Anon, the geese were attacking everyone before the party even got there. Geese are horrible vicious little bastards that were created when the goddess of farming and the god of war got drunk during a solstice. To make matters worse neither deity can control the geese. They can only aim them in one direction and hope that the geese hate whatever's presently in that direction more than they do their creators.
>>45085082 If you're a farming goddess then your divinity can be spent steering crops, cultivating plants, determining harvests, the whole bag of chips. Pull as many strings as you like for your domain.
But if some faggot mortals manage to actually draw your ire, why split hairs and try to take out your anger in some appropriate or creative way when you can just appear as a 50 foot tall farm goddess avatar and crush them by stepping on them in no time or effort at all? If a whole army, or a whole city angers you, sure, get all discreet. A handful of adventurers? Fuck em up.
>>45085103 >You're a farmer sitting outside, enjoying the sunset over his corn fields >Group of adventurers in full armor haul ass out of the field across from your porch, full sprint. >They run up to you and hold out bags jingling with gold coins, more money than this town has seen pass through it in decades. >"Let us in, then bar everything. Don't ask, just take the money." >These hard-boiled, battle-scarred adventurers are looking over their shoulders, squirming in terror. >You grab the bags, throw them inside your window where they hit the floor, and let them inside.
>As you bar the door, the man in the heaviest armor picks up one of your barrels, more than a hundred pounds, and places it to block entry. >And not a second before the sound of impossibly heavy legs comes crawling up to your front door. >It sounds like vermin- but vermin aren't that large. >Before you can ask any questions, they drag you down to the basement with them. >Their magic-user starts casting powerful spells, likely to stop whatever's coming. >His chanting is drowned out by the front of your house being obliterated by whatever is coming through.
>The hissing voice of an angry woman reaches your ears, and your skin crawls. >"I'LL TEACH YOU TO MOCK MY CROPS!" >It sounds like a thousand cicadas all buzzing in harmony, and all of your willpower is spent not pissing yourself as you cower behind the adventurers. >The barrel is pushed aside like a side table, and the horrible scuffling of vermin-feet comes closer. >"She's coming! Get ready!" One man is carrying a greatsword, and prepares it. >With a thunderous crack, the whole ceiling above you splits open, tearing the carefully-laid spells in half with seemingly no repercussions. >You can't believe your eyes as a tremendous ladybug crawls into the basement, warded off only slightly by the weapons and spells of the adventurers. >"KEEP FARMER MCCLAINE OUT OF THIS. IF YOU SO MUCH AS THREATEN TO HURT HIM, I'LL DEVOUR YOU ALL, AND WIPE HIS MEMORY."
>Farm goddess avatar is just a common looking farm girl, with the stats of a goddess >Party traveling down a country road at a leisurely pace >"Hey Jeff, is that farm girl running at us?" >"You know I think she is, but what could she want?" >"Is it just me or does she look angr- MY LEG!"
>>45085200 I don't think you comprehend the absurd levels of boredom that gods feel, specially something as specific as a crops god. She "works" 4 times a year deciding how the crops will go and just let magic do whatever she decides. You gotta find something to do in the meantime, and what's better than creating elaborate ways to fuck with people? That's why it's so easy to anger a god, while it could crush any mortal being without a thought, it wouldn't be fun.
>>45085251 >The adventurers slowly step away from you. >As they do, the ladybug's voice turns into that of a sweet, lovely woman, like your granny that makes pies for the whole town. >"Now, Mister McClaine, this business doesn't involve you. I'll be sure to make reparations for everything. If you wouldn't mind going upstairs?" >But then she turns back to the offending adventurers, and the buzzing returns. >"NOW, WHERE WERE WE?" >As you leap up the stairs, too frightened to refuse, you hear her ask a crucial question. >"AH, YES. DO YOU WANT TO TAKE BACK WHAT YOU SAID, DEAREST 'HEROES'?"
>You would sit at your dining table, but it's ruined. >And what you hear next makes your stomach turn. >"I'd rather eat shit than cornbread!" The magic user cries out defiantly. >This is followed by a blood-curdling roar and the sound of metal and monster moving. >Screams of terror come from your basement, splattering of blood and shattering of bones, an all-too-familiar hiss. >After a while, the cries get louder and more panicked, and then, chillingly, they stop. >You shake as the movement does not stop, but the sound of crunching bones, tearing flesh, and armor scraping the brick floor commences. >The scent of blood and sick is everywhere- mandibles at work, you guess.
>After thirty agonizing, endless minutes, a single woman dressed in fine green robes leaves your basement and looks at the wagon-sized hole she made in your wall. >"Terribly sorry." She smiles at you, genuinely. "I'll send someone to fix it right away." >She looks you over. "Hm, I have a daughter that might be interested in you. Would you mind?" >Refusal doesn't seem to be an option at this point. >"Excellent. My regards, Mr. McClaine." >Only after she is most definitely out of hearing range do you allow yourself to scream.
>>45084934 Fuck you, I love unbuttered cornbread. Just because it's like my mouth is having an orgasm when there's a honeybutter spread does not mean the cornbread itself is shit. You are pissing on my culture, and I do not appreciate it. I bet you eat something twice as gross, like rotted fish left buried in a wet hole.
>>45084262 Confronting them directly in a featureless room of the next dungeon they explore, attacking them without a word and rotating through a pattern of a few different attacks and spell. Remember to leave level-appropriate loot on her corpse.
>>45086044 I've mainly just seen the obligatory curvaceous chicks in earth robes. Personally, I think the farm girl thing up above isn't too far off base - some strong-ish girl with average to average-cute features who wouldn't look out place in any random shot of a group of farmers or peasant ranchers.
>>45084388 Wouldn't that be the opposite of an eternal wander? You'd want to just stay in one place forever, probably get food sent by a caravan with your ungodly amount of murder hobo cash that you have by the point you're ready to piss off a god.
>>45084899 Nah, that's not how you go about it. That's not devious enough - the party will simply stop drinking anything but water. No, what she does it make every Xth drink taste like water. So everytime the party orders drinks, she gets to see their faces lighten up with anticipation, them hoping that this drink will finally taste like something. Only to have their hopes crushed.
1. Ground opens up and adventurers sink into fuckhuge pool of manure. Stench is unbearable, diseases, bacteria, maggots, all of it poisons them and brings them unconcious. They slowly suffocate and die horrible death 10 meters deep in shit and horrible, horrible things.
2. Goddess of agriculture shapes land. Suddenly the road they travelled on becomes enormous mountain with dozens of terraces full of muddy water and some kind of sharp plants. Massive flocks of birds that blot out the sun gather...
3. Eaten by pigs, nuff said.
4. She lures them to the pen made specifically for each adventurer. She bids them with tools she made, puts harness on them and makes them work the field till exhaustion.
Generally I'd play on the themes of earth shaping, fertilization, breeding fucked-up animal-monster hybrids, domesticating/enslavement and masses of obiedent animals trampling things/devouring everything around.
I mean, if she'll be REALLY pissed off she might do what humans did to wolves with the whole dog thing, but maybe even make them alive through her magic so hundreds years later when some other adventurers will approach goddess they will see monster hybrids guarding doors to her palace. Monster hybrids that were PCs a long time ago.
The player returns home to realize the memory of where they live has been completely replaced in their minds with directions to an abandoned farmland, the owner of which long since killed by the player.
>>45084262 The crops are now OVERgrown. The countryside is dense with giant crops. The yields themselves are too big, too hard, or just generally unpalletable at their size now. They bury roads and towns under their jungle-like expanse. Plagues of predators sweep over the land, drawn by the abundance. The earth itself is too fertile for normal plant life and any normal plants are burnt at the roots by the acrid soil. The rains come hard and fast. The sun blisters any caught in the open, though the foliage of the mammoth crops easily block out the sun entirely in their depths. The earth grows hard and wet, swollen with its newly necessary nutrients. Like stone, the earth gives no yield to man's tools. The crops live well, man does not.
You know, such deity likely has a massive following in the sense that she'd be popular with every race. I mean, who doesn't like the god of healthy offspring and plentiful food? So make them part of every race's shit list, make their food rot, their loins a place for plentiful vermin to infest, all that they wear that is from your crops and animals slough apart and fray, their rations caught in the wild eaten by locusts or rats, and any spell for food gives nothing but desiccated, inedible husks.
>>45086044 There was this short story I had to read back in high school about a rural widow woman starting her day, and one trait of hers stuck out in my mind: She had arms strong enough to kill a hog, and a touch soft enough to wipe away her daughter's tears.
The daughter and son were nearing graduation from school, and didn't understand all the hardships their own mother had gone through in order to raise them well, considering how little education and how few resources she had.
>cursed characters want to stop by a small village >suddently, all the fields wither, the water becomes toxic and the peasants notice all the farm animals targetting the characters, being overly aggressive toward them >the curse is very apparent to anyone who sees this shit going down >everyone gathers to kick out the cursed group because they don't want this curse, they want their fields back and their water clean again >the characters flee, banished from the village until the curse on them will be lifted >overnight, the fields are back to their former glory and the water is clean again, the animals calm as they were before. >all of this because they didn't displease the goddess by taking in the people that she cursed
>>45084262 Cause their food to rot faster or be ridden with diseases.
Summon earth golems of some kind
Send messages to their priests that the party has insulted them. After all any ordinary citizen that doesn't live in a city would probably worship her and shun the party from their villages. They'll run out of food eventually between trips to cities.
Cause any official with ties to the party to have a bad crop yield and anger the peasantry?
>>45084719 >High Fructose Corn Syrup wouldn't be pretty much fucking free It's not free, the cost of corn syrup varies, but isn't that much different than sugar. And sugar in the U.S. wouldn't even be as expensive as it is if imports weren't limited in order to keep the price up.
'Benign' doesn't imply it just bounces from one extreme to the other and back again. At all. That dam- bursting thing is pop psychology at its finest. Kindness and patience are broad tendencies. The best predictor of today's behavior is yesterday's behavior, and it's not because it's going to be the complete opposite. The bait that follows is equally invalid, but if you're telling me the average Chad isn't petty compared to the average Susie I've got news.
>everyone always talks of wheat, corn, taters, and rice >no one ever includes amaranth anto their campaigns >most people don't even know what amaranth is Suffering. What's not to love about it? It's a grain, that can be popped like popcorn, and also makes for a lovely ornamental.
>>45093818 Don't forget that it's also great with beans or baked with jalapeños
>>45084262 A curse of were-cow. Every full moon, the character turns into a cow until dawn. While in cow form, they feel strong urge to graze. The worst part is that taste of the grass takes another week to get out of their mouth.
>>45085329 >>45094028 >Farm MILF goddess >Very muscular and curvy from a lifetime of hard work and divinely enhanced homegrown food >Showing up personally to beat the shit out of the PCs, hog tie them, and humiliate them/force them to work off their debt to her after they've wronged her
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