>current party has such a focus on Combat Cannibalism style and digestive tracts so horrific they've already eaten corrupted creatures ALIVE and spat it back out while laughing madly
Yeah no they're safe, just not for any clever or moral reason
I prepare the pitcher of Lemonade made from a combination of Sanctified Holy Water that has had a Blessed Silver cross sitting in it for a decade and true lemons that grew from the only tree found upon the lonely mountain that touches the heavens.
Oh, and I scrape off the mustard on the Broodwich.
LET'S DO THIS FAGGOT.
"...Da hell is this drek? I just wanted a normal, delicious sandwich free of all those health bullshit, and what do I get? A damned gimmick sandwich! Drek to this, I'm going to see if there's a Johnson offering a decent sandwich as a reward."
My DM let me invent sandwiches once.
I had to make an artifice roll, and ended up absolutely disgustingly rich because of it because for the setting had advanced ideas for copyright
Fucking wizardsbut hadn't yet thought of the idea of assorted meats, vegetables, and condiments on sliced bread.
>"forged in darkness from wheat harvested in Hell's half-acre, baked by Beelzebub, slathered with mayonnaise from the evil eggs of a powerful dark chicken, beaten into sauce by the hands of a one-eyed madman, [with] cheese boiled from the rancid teat of a three-headed fanged cow [and] layered with 666 separate meats from an animal which has maggots for blood." It also has lettuce and Dijon mustard. When Shake complains about the lack of bacon, he is told that there are no swine evil enough to be sacrificed upon a bed of evil and lettuce.
>Slathered with mayo
ugh disgusting, throw it in the trash where it belongs
YOU MADMAN! You will destroy us all!
I̷̜̳̻̣̗͔̮͇̤͔̠̻̥̼͘͢T̜̰̦̟̫̤͔͖̣̟̯͘͠͡͠ͅ ͏̢͈͙̱̪̫̬͔̥̜̥̫Í̶̷̡̯͈͍̭͚̜̺̼͘S̷̸͏̴̭̺̣́ ̛͕̹͍̘̮͓̠̥͟͜T̢̨̀͞͏̠͉̟̦͔̜̟̯̖͕͖̱O̸̴̜̼̰̺̜̘̮͉̗͚͜O͠͏̳͇̩̤̰̗ ̡̣̠̘̹̤͕̝͎͍̪̝́̕Ļ̝͈̮̼̯͓͎̣̗͙͉͜ͅÀ̩̙̳̫̣̰͟T̻̖̣̤͇̻̀Ȩ̪̪̗͎̩̬͙͖̝̮̼͍̼́ͅ ̵̶͘҉̪̘̜͉̹̭̤F̛̦͇͉̳̫͕̼̪͕̠̪̩͓̟͟͢O̧͏͈̗͓̹̬̺̭̗̝̝͓̠̀R̕҉͉̹̫͍̩̜ ̨̩͓̖͎̀͢͢͝Ý̖̭̙̖͖̞͘͜͞O̫̘͍̮͈̕͜Ų̡̭̜̺͙͓̖͙͙̝̳̺̲͈̯̘͉̻̙́͢,̷̵̙͍̺̫̟̕͢ ̶̛͉̬̦̞͙̣̜͚̦̜̗͝M̹͖̳̘̥̹̼̻͖͙͉̙͍̘̯͇̹͈͘͟͜O̧̻̗̼̩̹͈̯̜̮̜̲͚̣̦͘R̵͡͏̱̣̳̮̞͙̝͕T҉̶̼̙̲͓̮̻͎̳̩͇̰̞̮̲̙̼͓̙͖̀͜͢À͇͍͙̠̗͠͡L̡̞̘͓͙͇͇͓̪͖͢͞S̛͈̲̺̣͉̘̱̱͍̤̳̼͎̗̫̬̟̺̪̕,̶̡̹͈̙̥̞͚̯̯͈͍͍̹͎̞̟̞̭͝͠ ̸̛̙̟̯͉̝͕̲̺̙̰̳̰͓͍̻͘T̛̺̘̯͔͚͖͓̖̱͢H̷̴͏̨̰͇̳͇̲̟̼̳͈̗̯̖̬̀E̶̝͕͚̗͢ ̨̧̟͇̞̹͚̗̗̳̬̩̼̼̬͍͟Ḍ̶̴̶͙͈̣̥̹͚͘A҉͏̛̙̺͕̺͙͍̪̯͖̜̙̬̹͍̝̱͓̹́̕R̨̢͉̫̰̰̹̭̝͇̗̻̜̥̠͙͢K̡̛̀͢͏̠̜̖̜̻̫̱͈̪N҉̟̥̻̞͔̀E͠҉̛̱͔̺͍̼̥͙̤̭͓͇̥̣̺̪͜S̴̨̨̱̣̥̗͝͞ͅͅŞ̖̦̬̠̗͓̬̬̦̝͉̜͜ ̗͚͍̠̱͍̼̮̳̼̼̮͜͡C͏҉̝̠̝̹̭͚͍̖͚̣͔̮͕͈̼̠̫́ͅÒ̭̠͚͔̞̼̖̯̞̟̖̻̪̝͠ͅM̷̫̝̟͚̕͘͠͞E̢͘҉̵̼͈̣̬̬̟S̡̛͔̞̣̼̜̜̀͞͞
Everything grinds to a halt as the group derails yet again into:
quoting ATHF for a solid 20 minutes, which leads to:
Discussing which Adult Swim shows are good, and which are trash for about 10, which leads to:
Squidbillies quotes for 10, which leads to:
More Adult Swim programming discussion for 5 until:
15 minutes of Venture Bros quotes/discussion of just how fuckable Molotov and Dr Mrs the Monarch are:
5 minutes of Brock Samson or Baron Unterbite worship by one player, Unterbite quoting by another.
DM suggesting we get back on track to no avail
one player mentioning Toonami's lineup, more discussion on good/shit anime.
DM giving a player shit over some choice in anime followed by said player retorting with the fact that HE's not the one who watch Yuri Kuma, now is he?
Other player chortling mightily, before being called a shitstain for liking iCarly by both DM and player one.
Total 1.5 - 2 hours later, back on track. Paladin Divine Senses, gets sick, suggests Ranger try it.
My group is meta as fuck and would probably sense some magic on it, not fuck with it because "obviously a trap", and try and sell it, immediately getting made when some local shop keep dosnt agree to buy cursed items.
Unfortunetly its not my group, unless your wenzel/matt.
But to be fair, venture bros is one of my favorite series and since no one but me watches it, I'd jump at the chance to discuss it.
They eat it. Just like any other food they find in walls or any where else.
What kind of sandwich doesn't have bacon? Couldn't you have just settled for a disgruntled swine? They don't have to be completely evil. I'd have settled for a lawful neutral slice of bacon, myself
Most of the live action stuff.
Especially anything involving Dim and Choleric.
Sheer trash, all of it.
Mighty Boosh is like the one we can't seem to agree on.
12oz mouse wasn't terrible. Same with Drinky Crow.
Korgoth of Barbaria should've got at least one fucking season, God damnit.
>Korgoth of Barbaria should've got at least one fucking season, God damnit.
Sadly, IIRC, it was either that, or the Venture Bros. wouldn't get a second season. Adult Swim only had enough money to fund one or the other, and the Venture Bros. was already a proven fan-favorite.