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>Below critical mass of players
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Thread replies: 101
Thread images: 13
>Below critical mass of players
>Girl ends up joining
>Suddenly self conscious of all the bad sex jokes

Guys, I need better sex jokes
>>
Eh, just remember that sex can be funny but it's not inherently funny. If your punchline is just the act of sex itself then you should kill yourself like all the other cool kids
>>
Give us some of your bad sex jokes.

I need examples.
>>
>>45048008
Bad as in tasteless, or 'CARLOS' bad?
>>45048131
This.
>>
>>45048131
Well, the most fun I had was when the monk nat 20'd his diplomacy check to make the artist like him and talk to him. He ended up getting invited back to the guys studio so he could paint the monk

He walked out with a shirt, a pallette, and no pants, and in the gayest italian voice I could muster "Alrighta, yes, perfect, nowa I need you to a pose for me"

The monk exploded into a cloud of darkness and jumped out the window before I could go on.
>>
>>45048182
...well I've seen worse.
>>
>>45048210
Have you seen someone put a succubus stat block on a (female) werewolf that used glamoured armor to look naked to stack circumstantial bonuses to her charm so she can seduce the monk into making the party actually use their words instead of their swords

Yes, same monk. He was the one to open the door.
>>
>>45048210
That's to be expected on /tg/, where we have a roaming pack of the least funny faggots, going about always trying to make the lamest sex jokes at the slightest provocation.

Probably one of the worst groups on this site, and OP can safely call himself one of those faggots.
>>
>>45048270
God forbid someone makes jokes with their friends

Why don't you grace us with some of the gems that you shit out on a daily basis?
>>
>>45048270
At least it's better than skeletons doing boner jokes.
>>
>>45048298
There's really no way to defend being lame.

It's tolerable, not applaudable.
>>
>>45048008
>I need better sex jokes
A mirror?
>>
>>45048008
Are you saying you need good sex jokes to make the new female player comfortable?

Perhaps you need to reassess.
>>
This is why we don't have girls in our group. Sure, nerdy feminine company is welcome, but we like to fart, make jokes about rape, genocide and other hilarious stuff and generally have grand time. Girl would be distracting and kind of ruing the atmosphere.
>>
>>45052476
>>
>>45052476
>Making jokes about rape, genocide and presumably other horrible things.
Your group is That Group.
>>
>>45053831
well, sorry for invading your internet safe space, hope you're not too triggered about the fact someone doesn't produce PC sanitised bullshit 24/7
>>
>>45048008
We just had a gal join our group.
Nothing changed at all.
Well, nothing besides us finally gaining a full caster who can heal and buff.
>>
>>45053831

>Joking about rape or genocide while in the privacy of your own home means you're That Guy
>despite gaming in a medieval-inspired fantasy setting

Tumblr DM detected
>>
>>45048008
So basically what you're saying is that your jokes sucked and now that someone who'd be the brunt of them is there to criticize you, you feel bad for it.
>>
>>45052476
>implying girls can't enjoy jokes about rape, genocide, and other things
Fucking sexist.
>>
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>>45053831
>Your group is That Group.
"That guy" is usually... well, that guy. When it's an entire group it's no longer That Guy, you fucking moron. If you get your panties in a twist over a few guys having fun, you're "That Girl". It's time you find another group, preferably one that's entirely female. Oh wait, groups like those don't fucking exist because, as with other fields in life, women have no choice but to leech off men.

This is why I don't want women in my groups and if I ever get involved in a group that wants to add a woman, it's either me or her that's leaving.
>>
>>45052476
>like to fart

Farting is a social activity for you?
>>
ITT: people who need to leave the house and computer more often to learn about respecting other humans.
>>
>>45048008
You don't need better jokes. If they were fine before, there's no reason they shouldn't still be fine. If the newbie has a problem with them, that's on her.
>>
>>45057370
It's not for you?
>>
>>45048008

How do you get a gay to have sex with a woman?

Shit in her pussy.
>>
>>45056333
Show me data this phenomenon exists
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>>45058888
Take group of females, give them Cards Against Humanity, watch as they suddenly laugh about those exact things.
>>
>>45053831

But if everyone in the group enjoys it then it's no longer a problem, don't make the rest of the group conform to your ideals.
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>>45057289
Now you wait just a minute you blanket statement, women hating, anti-socialite.

Me and my group make all kinds of jokes about genocide, rape, murder and all the other nasty stuff you'll deny laughing about in public. And we've played with plenty of girl players before and they laughed and made their own jokes too. Just because you always wind up with shitty, uptight, nagging fun-haters doesn't mean you should discount all women. You just have shit luck.
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>>45057370
who doesn't like a good fart sesh with the bros
>>
>>45057289
Dear lord, spergboi, this board isn't r9k. Calm down, you sound like a social retard.
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>>45058942
Point conceded but you are sampling from a population of literal autists. Your data may be a bit biased anon. I know every time I played that game I was playing with people with the mental faculties of a twelve year old, myself included. I would never socialize with those females in public.
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>>45059233
Deep down, are we all not just twelve-year-olds forced to grow up before our time?
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>>45057289
>When it's an entire group it's no longer That Guy, you fucking moron.

I'm going to have to say otherwise, because that is precisely the kind of thing a group of That Guys would come up with as some way of excusing their embarrassing behavior.

That Guys are That Guys, regardless of whether they are in the majority or even the entirety of their group. These are the people that when they share their story about what they did, the overwhelming majority of people will treat them as a cancerous entity that shouldn't be left to fester among themselves. A That Group is really just a horrible little cyst that only reinforces all of its worst elements, while demanding that subjectivity excuses anything they do and that there is no brand of fun that can be examined or criticized.
>>
>>45059318
Oh god, the feels. I did NOT need that post.
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>>45059347
>that picture
10/10 campaign
>>
>>45057289
>This is why I don't want women in my groups and if I ever get involved in a group that wants to add a woman, it's either me or her that's leaving.

And nothing of value was lost.
>>
>>45059950

What's worse than fingering your sister?

Finding your old man's wedding ring while you're up there
>>
>>45059347
>>45057289
>>45053831
It is technically true that if the entire group is into an activity, such as erping rape and genocide while farting, then there is no "That Guy."
If I joined That Group, then I would be That Guy for not going along with their "fun."
However, >>45053831 is correct in calling them That Group.
If a group is full of socially retarded, offensive idiots that would be toxic to any other group forms a cell, or "tumor", of gaming unto themselves, I think we can safely call them That Group.
What is particularly interesting is that there is probably a That Guy within That Group who constantly genocides before the others can finish their first nut while raping, or something.
>Damn it Craig, I was gonna rape that elf in all four holes! Why do you have to vivisect them first?
>Shut up, you can still rape the corpse once Timmy finishes farting on it.
>>
>>45059950
What's the worst part of raping a 5 year old?
Getting the blood off the clown suit.
>>
>>45060151

What's the best part of raping a 5 year old?

Getting to kick them to death in the woods afterwards
>>
>>45060103
>>Damn it Craig, I was gonna rape that elf in all four holes! Why do you have to vivisect them first?
>>Shut up, you can still rape the corpse once Timmy finishes farting on it.
Oh man. This is glorious. It's somehow so ridiculous it comes full circle and isn't offensive anymore.
You, fair Anon, are truly a god against men. Please bestow upon us more of your divine absurdity.
>>
>>45060185
What's the best thing about fucking twelve year-olds?

There's twelve of them
>>
>>45060226

What's the best part about fucking a tranny?

You can reach around and pretend it went all the way through.
>>
>>45053831
Bro, you're on 4chan.
>>
>>45060274
You could also do that with a dude.
>>
>>45060301

But that's gay anon.
>>
>>45060151
Anything with clowns is funny
I'm going to be like the new Hitler of this world, I'll kill all the jews and one clown
>>
A teenage girl asks her father if she can borrow his car.
He says, "Sure, but you have to suck my dick first."
So she does.
Suddenly she starts choking and gagging. "Dad, your dick tastes like shit!"
"Oh yeah," says her father. "I forgot, your brother already has the car."
>>
>>45060188
>You, fair Anon, are truly a god against men.
I can only hope to live up to that praise.

>Damnit! I told you shitheads to follow turn order. Now since Timmy was engaging his vore while Craig was raping the gnome, Craig just got his cock bitten off again! Roll for damage.
>So, Craig's blood is mixing with the semen, saliva, excrement, and marshmallow fluff?
>Well yeah, I suppose so.
>I collect the fluids.

>So, while Craig is raping the security guard while wearing his partner's entrails as a scarf, what are you two doing again?
>We were skullfucking school children.
>But, you burned them alive 15 minutes ago.
>Yeah. And now we are fucking their charred skulls.
>Oh, okay. Roll against that FATAL chart to see how long it takes you to fill them.
>>
>>45060432
Eh, saw the punchline coming a mile away
>>
>>45053831
I really don't see what's wrong with joking about horrible things as long as you can have a good laugh about it and aren't actually serious about any of it. You're already playing make-believe and likely murdering people or monsters, but that doesn't mean that you're gonna go out and start actually murdering people. The same concept should be with jokes. And actually, humor is supposed to be a way to cope with those horrible things instead of them just hanging in your mind as these really grim reminders of how much the world sucks.

Now I'm gonna take a step back and say that this kind of dark humor requires some tact. Less so when you're in the safety and privacy of your own home with friends who also enjoy the same humor, but you should definitely watch where you tell these jokes.

tl;dr: dark humor doesn't make you a bad person, and you're certainly allowed to enjoy it to your heart's content in your own home with friends, but be tactful about it if you're planning on using it anywhere else.
>>
>>45060466
>Okay, so you guys have chained the minotaur down, chewed off his genitals, cut off his eyelids and are peeing on his face in front of his half breed children, now-
>Hold on a second! This lotion is scented! You know that starts to sting halfway through the session.
>That's why I just use the chicken grease.
>You guys are so fucking with my emersion right now.

>So your transgendered elf prostitute just cut off the bandits hands, he is lying prone on the ground screaming in pain as his life essence slowly leaks out. What do you do next?
>I take the severed hands, slick with blood, and insert one bloody stump into his ass and the other into my own.
>Dude, what the fuck are you doing?
>What?
>We know he had at least one magic ring, loot that shit.
>Good call, I still can since I inserted the stump end first, right?
>>
>>45060970
I think I need coffee before attempting any more of this nonsense.
When I return I will try to come up with more if there is further interest in my leaking my insanity onto this thread.
>>
>>45060466
>>45060970
Seriously dude, start a webcomic of this shit.
>>
>>45059347
Honestly sounds like fun if you're doing it as a joke.
>>
>Girl joins group
>"That" guy is the gm.
>Girl's pc gets raped (rape had never been a thing in the campaign until that moment).
>Girl never returns.
>>
>>45061141
I imagine the art as the black and white scribblings of Olgaf after he succumbed to syphilitic madness.

But seriously? I don't think I would want my name attached to something like that.
I do have a webcomic in the works though.
>>
>>45061372
>I don't think I would want my name attached to something like that.
Dude, this is EXACTLY what pseudonyms are for.
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>>45061387
>>45061141
Fuck me, you've got me actually thinking about this.
I even got a name:
"That Group: a /tg/ webcomic"
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>>45061290
sounds like he did you a favor
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>>45061544

Indeed. We never invited him again after that.
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>>45048131
Not OP but last night a player lied to a librarian that he graduated Magna Cum Laude as part of his seduction check, she responded "Can you show me how you Cum Laude?"
>>
>>45048008
Nah, you're doing fine OP. We're laughing at your virginity enough.
>>
Double entendres, OP.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2hyyf_prince-charles-scandal_shortfilms

all
night
long
>>
>>45048008
It's too late. the second she was in the same room as you, she could smell your social ineptitude. her vagina has already soldered itself shut.
>>
>>45060103
>toxic
>>
>OP says his sex jokes are bad
>/tg/ gets offended by the idea of sex jokes
>Calls him a social retard

Jesus fuck guys
>>
>>45061372

>Oglaf
>he

Should I tell him, or should you, anon?
>>
>>45067229
Welcome to people being really tired of fags making the same dumb sex jokes several millions of time without realizing that the jokes weren't funny to begin with.

It's less "offended", and more "tired of this shit."

Anytime a dragon is mentioned? Herp de derp, I want to fuck it, how can I fit inside its vagina.
Anytime someone posts a picture of Medusa? Herp de derp, I'm rock hard baby, I want snakes to wrap around my peepee.
Anytime butter is alluded to? Herp de derp, I want to make a toilet paper and butter golem for the express purpose of having sex with a soggy effigy made in my likeness.

The worst part is, that some of these fags don't even realize that they themselves are jokes, jokes that stopped being funny the moment they tried to pretend they were being serious.
>>
>>45048008
You should probably have sex before making sex jokes.
>>
>>45067321
Whats weird is sex becomes way less funny once you've had it.
>>
>>45059347
>Have his characters head inserted into the woman's ass so he could suck off the baby's dick when we reinserted it

I absolutely NEED this guy to DM for me.
>>
>>45058888
>>45059233
My last Pathfinder group had two married couples in it. Wives occasionally made a flirty joke towards their husbands, but that was about as much sexual joking as they did. The men on the other hand just acted like guys without any issue beyond occasionally rolled eyes.

On the internet, it seems that there's two extreme views of women. Either they're super sensitive flowers or they're sociopathic manipulative succubi. IRL they're people who think and have quite a lot of variation from individual to individual. They are different from men in a lot of ways, but always keep in mind that they're still thinking persons.

Sorry for stating what should be obvious, but it doesn't seem to be obvious to many people for some reason. Especially the "nerdy" internet crowd.
>>
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>>45067279
There's no better way to deal with this shit than dealing with it in character. Have the bitches they're trying to hit on be tired of their shit.

>"Rock hard, huh? Sure, because it's not like I've ever heard that one before?"

>"Do you humans ever think of anything other than sex?"

>"344..."
>"Oh? It's nothing. Just keeping track of how many times these cheesy pick-up lines have been used"
>"....412"
>".... 681, try something new for a change!"
>"...Interesting, I've only heard that one 14 times before!"
>>
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>>45048307
>At least it's better than skeletons doing boner jokes.

I've got a bone to pick with you.
>>
>>45067578
I would have serious concerns for the mental health of any women counting pick up lines

Or any women getting hit on that much to begin with to be honest
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>>45067258
>>
>>45067558
>IRL they're people
this
>>
>>45053831
>rape
a little bit funny provided there are no women present and the jokes in question involve some kind of post-mortem skullfucking because apparently that's more acceptable than actually raping a living woman
>genocide and other horrible things
What kind of campaign are you playing where Genocide is an unacceptable solution to any/all of your problems?
>>
>>45061372
>I imagine the art as the black and white scribblings of Olgaf after author succumbed to syphilitic madness.
So... Slut Adventure X-mas special?
>>
>>45054002
>Tumblr DM
but seriously, my DM is pretty cool overall but he once bragged about his group collectively tossing out a CE player for not asking consent before coming onto a PC in-game. Now I understand if the person in question were being creepy, but apparently all the guy did was make a grapple roll without preluding it with a dialogue to confirm her consent. If you're at the table, you're not immune to in-game horrors, despite how safe you are IRL.
>>
>>45069406
>So... Slut Adventure X-mas special?
...apparently.
I didn't think such a thing existed, and yet it does.
>>
>>45056216
>sex jokes
>automatically assume the new girl will be the target
Someone's sexist.
>>
>>45069422
>Grappling a girl without speaking to her about it first is "coming on to her"
Yep, that's /tg/ lady and gentlemen
Did they at least offer the character a bowl of eggs afterward?
>>
>>45057370
Probably posted by a girl and, thus, anon's case is proven.

If not posted by a girl, poster should immediately turn in his testicles and his Y chromosome will be immediately search-and-replaced with X's.
>>
>>45059025
Did they fart and distribute the ass gas amongst the other players in the rom?
>>
>>45070631
Not that anon, but I proudly possess the Y chromosome and I typically don't fart when I'm with my friends.
Because I like my friends.
Occasionally, my gas is so noxious it could be classified as a war crime.
Friends don't play russian roulette with their friends ability to breath or to go hatless.
>>
>>45070667
No, thankfully it was an online game. Farting in small dark rooms is never okay, friends or no.
>>
>>45059347
>The Aristocrats ttrpg
>>
>>45048182

Eh.. 6/10, that's ok. Girl wouldn't mind that. Maybe don't do a "gay voice" but a "he wants to fuck you" joke would be fine.

I would recommend for her comfort you try not to make sex jokes *about* her, or her character. Like.. unless she's clearly into it and seeking that sort of thing out, don't have her character end up in situations where she's being hit on or expected to have sex, get naked, etc. Just treat her like a lady unless she makes it clear she's fine with that shit. I only say this because you might accidentally do that shit too often to her and she will absolutely notice if she's the only one who npcs are constantly hitting on etc. So try to avoid it and tone it down until you're sure it's not a big deal.

But girls like sex jokes as much as guys, don't worry so much. Just try to have fun and only make jokes that actually seem worthwhile and really funny. "hahathatswhatshesaid" is not funny. "are we not doing phrasing?" is much more acceptable.


Here's an example of "not ok." So, I had my CN female character seduce the evil king we were working for. Because he was, lyke, supah cute, and also powerful/rich. Later on we go to break into some place and there are two guards so we're deciding what to do and a gross guy blurts out "seduce them XD" and 17 y/o me was embarrassed and immediately regretted my earlier racy choice. Now if someone had said that to a guy we probably would have had a laugh and gone on with the game, but it made me uncomfortable.

I'm not saying you should 'have' to cater etc just that if you want to avoid scaring her off, be careful. It'll probably be fine tho.
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>>45067115
I'm not actually sure what that image is intended to convey.
I'm left with the impression that some unlikeable group uses the term "toxic" a lot, or something.
Am I close?
>>
>>45072171
>>The Aristocrats ttrpg
This would also be a serviceable name for >>45061505
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>>45068463
Some of them might be thousands of years old so you have to keep that in mind.
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>>45048131
"dikk lol"
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>>45073114
That is a good point

I guess once your old enough you might just get bored and pick it up as a hobby
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>>45075099
>>45073114
This is why you should never make a sex joke to a sphinx.
Also, why I never make a joke out someone's name.
No matter how original, funny, or clever you think it is, they've heard it.
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>>45052476
ThatSlav, is it you?
>>
>>45067578
I miss Succubus Lord Quest. The worldbuilding was genuinely good.
Thread replies: 101
Thread images: 13
Thread DB ID: 476488



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