>the players are tasked with procuring a monstrous concubine for the Duke
>the players are tasked with escaping the Duke's prison cells
How does it feel being the 9gag of Islam?
> That sensation when a bunch of prissy mids wandering around the Sahara are the only true Muslims as everyone else has gotten Cult of personality crazed and jerky.
> That sensation when Islamic civilization is dead, and some bundlefucks from a toppled dictatorship are attempting to Frankenstein it.
> That sensation when Muslims are worse with idolatry then the actual heretics.
If the prophet climbed out of the rocks at Jerusalem I imagine he'd just try to crawl back in. Or become a crazy old cat guy and move to Argentina.
Sort of similar situation where our employer wanted something really exotic and strange in his small harem to show off to his friends/rivals.
We ended up getting finding this really creepy deep dwelling semi-aquatic underdark humanoid mammal that was quite dangerous and hard to catch and we lost several guys in the effort. No one knew what the fuck it was and keeping her was even harder because of her rather specific diet, water and temperature needs, and sensitivity to light. After awhile we felt bad for her and didn't think she'd be treated well by our employer so instead we just found an anthro bipedal giraffe woman and pawned that off instead. He was none the wiser and happy nonetheless so we succeeded without turning over the deep monster.
In the end we kept her because we couldn't return and didn't want to just let her go. Better than our employer I guess since we spent the high prices to take care of her, and eventually one of the party settled for her.
I'll be honest, I'm not even sure how sapient she was. When we found her she was basically like a monster in behavior, as I imagine the rest of her kind were, and even after as much time and effort as we devoted to trying to civilize her, she still behaved as a stereotypical caveman, or cavewoman rather.
>really creepy deep dwelling semi-aquatic underdark humanoid mammal that was quite dangerous and hard to catch
So, a drow?
No it was more like I want to say those things from The Descent, but much bigger and more monstrous and tending towards water. Like they would dwell near the surface of deep underground bodies of water with their head hair resting on the water surface tangled with plant life and junk so that it looked like matts of water plants. If something disturbed, they'd jump out of the water to attack whatever it was or grab it and pull it in.
Our employer just wanted something wacky as fuck, if we brought him a cactus woman or something he'd still have dicked it at least once. In our case though, yeah we cleaned her up and tried to civilize her. After awhile got her to wear clothes, learn to speak pretty basically, and understand things that were not allowed like just attacking people and animals or stealing things. Eventually as I said, we basically got her to be like a civilized caveman in the "Hello. Am hungry. Want food." vein.
The settling down thing came about when overtime she noticed people in relationships and no others like her, and started to feel lonely and let us know. We felt bad for her but couldn't really remedy the situation, so the rogue whom she was the closest with made the effort to become her partner. They ended up pretty happy together, and eventually had disturbing half-breed children.
You can usually spot by their fear of getting caught on a porn board so they try to goad blue boards into giving them shitty softcore porn to yank it to with offtopic shitposting threads like this one.
>the players desperately try to save face when someone blows them the fuck out
>A local demon appears before the party, tempting them with some quest related info/items if they perform various, seemingly random and nonsensical things for him.
>mfw I have done this before.
>the players receive emails offering them money if they make strange purchases and ship packages to certain locations
Important question: are they allowed to sample the choices first?
That may change things, a lot.
>"I'm sorry, Duke, but she might be too tired after I visited her last night. Also I do not condone incest, she is your mother after all!"
Then proceed to use the forbidden technique: Thousand-League Steps to Freedom outta his court.
>The duke has no qualms with this result.
Option 1: Find Dryad. Transplant tree to Duke's gardens. Obtaining dryad cooperation is on the duke.
Option 2: We now have something to do when we inevitably come across a female noncombatant of a "monster" race (Orc, gnoll, w/e)
Option 3: Cast Planar Binding for a succubus. Collect reward. Leave Duchy at top speed.
>this beta of a duke is asking you to set him up.
>Duke gets an exotic, powerful, female monster waifu
>Waifu gets an easily manipulated trophy husband and the dukedom
I'm thinking dragoness, there's bound to be one that'll be willing to manipulate him into being wrapped around her finger for free access to all the dukedom's resources
Baring that I say sphinx
I'd just go out and find the freakiest thing I could. Like, the Duke is stupid otherwise he wouldn't be asking so we could probably just go get a sea anemone and tell him it's a female mimic.