>The princess slips you a note asking you to go to a nearby sea cave
Aww yiss. I knew signing up to the Imperial Guard would work out. First I get to command a Leman Russ, now the offworld booty comes a callin'.
Drive me closer! l want hit her with my sword!
> If ya know what I mean.
And then we have a diplomatic meeting with one of the sea princesses, right? Even her father doesn't know about these talks, since she's trying to set the groundwork for her own future reign.
Firslty, I shall meditate for a period to prepare myself. During this time, I shall consume a tincture of Blacktongue, Tallow Root and Gill Of The Iron to increase my visual acuity, my general awareness and dilate my third eye. It may also be prudent to consume a measure of Sky Wine into which is dissolved two fingers of black powder, to poison my blood against Hirudinea, to irritate and confound those who can peer through the aether, and to settle the nerves. I shall scribe a seal baring the Rune of Order of White Flame, in order to better protect myself from petty magic and prevent any attempts to beguile my senses or influence my mind. Naturally, I shall bind this to my flesh with a virgins hair with an iron needle, cleansed in the water from from one of the Seven Sacred pools of the White Chapel of Dianvun. I shall cleanse and prepare my blade with the Rite of Rectitude and sing the Litany of Morgante to honour the iron and sanctify the weapon.
I suppose I should also bring a bouquet of roses and a nice bottle of Tal Varrar red. Just in case.
>the expedition leader catches wind of the group archaeologists growing rapport with the princess and seeks to leverage this relationship to obtain clues to the treasure we have been looking for
>you arrive at the cave to find the princess's drowned body in the shallows
>you leave the corpse alone
>In a large bowl, sift together the flour, baking powder, salt and sugar. Make a well in the center and pour in the milk, egg and melted butter; mix until smooth. Heat a lightly oiled griddle or frying pan over medium high heat. Pour or scoop the batter onto the griddle, using approximately 1/4 cup for each pancake.
Still have to go as a subject of hers, also that negates her having tricked you, since you didn't make a choice and couldn't not go. Of course stupid prankster will gloat anyway, sucks.
And you think this changes anything?
Fuck her hard, then leave after a few weeks.
Land in Italy, establish the people who will later found Rome. Leave that bitch to stab herself and leave her people with such a massive hateboner for my descendants that we fight three enormous wars later on and end up destroying their entire shitty city.
>You reach the sea cave
>You see this sign
World continue to mock Grognak inability to read. Grognak not dumb, Grognak simply not grow up in place without established system of education. Grognak grow up in mine and learn about rocks.
Grognak think we should go into sea cave. Sandrock good for make liquid stone, but necessary to establish claim first. Bureaucracy not good to do half-measures. Also maybe pirate treasure.
She was the Scylla the whole time!
Sure, I'll kill that kraken for her.
If she lets he hit that booty though!
Honestly I have a weakness for cute princesses, so I'd probably do it.
I-I'm ok with pretending he's still the Princess...
This tribunal sentences you to a twelve month reduction in pay, reduction in rank, and then you will be transferred to the penal legions, where you will serve out the rest of your miserable life .
Take him away.