Pregnancy

>>44882773
Three words, OP.

Iron. Heart. Surge.

>>44882811
MEME'D

>>44882773
Nope, and it's unlikely to ever happen.
I try to avoid my fetishes.

>>44882773
Only in the sense that in a later campaign in which they were an npc they had a kid and it had to come from somewhere.

>>44882773
>Bard
He moved on with his life. Probably never knew he spawned a few kids... could've guessed so, but he was an asshole so he didn't give a shit.
>Paladin
He settled down with his wife. Duh.

>>44883547
You know, bards can be neutral too. They don't need to be chaotic.

>>44882773
Antipaladin got preggo on purpose to further her goal in settling down with a king and conquering the nation. Everyone else, unaware the anti paladin was female thought they just put on some weight and fucked off for a few weeks. We didn't know until it was too late.

>>44883587
I'd swear that 3.5 bards had to be chaotic and couldn't progress any further if they changed alignment.

>>44882773
I've only played a female once and it was the worst decision I've ever made.

Less than halfway through the session, the Halfling tried to fuck me. In front of my family. While discussing the death of my brother to a Paladin quest giver.

DM gave me infertility on a DMEO trait card in no time flat.

>>44883627
Only if they went lawful.

>>44882773

>Be exploring this weird cave, full of traps and monsters; which we later find was a kind of archmage testing ground from a long faded civilization.
>Really, really deathtrap zone, much tougher than what our GM usually throws at us.
>Fortunately, we have an ally, this small glowing figure who manifests to our Sorceress and gives her advice on how to not asplode from all the horrible crap.
>Appears in some rooms, not in others. Hard to tell which ones would cause her to show up. One pattern is clear though; the longer we're in the dungeon, the more sporadic and fainter the contact.
>But overall, a very helpful NPC oracle thingy, whose advice was probably necessary for us to reach the end and not die.
>Find the McGuffin, and it makes us all far more "cosmically aware", which gives us some stat boosts and some hints for the larger quest.
>And oh yeah, our sorceress? She was preganant, very early stage, wasn't aware. That spirit was her unborn kid manifesting from the latent magic in the place. The battering she took during the tests killed her.

It was pretty brutal.

>>44883786
That's like Mononoke level scary.

My warlock knocked up the party paladin with three half aliens and then married her.

That was a time and a half.

>>44882773
One of the characters in the party had a miscarriage during a battle. The player cried.

>>44884530
And you just made me laugh.

>>44882864

I like you.

>>44884530
>kid dies
>does righteous fury coming out
>instagibs mom, vagina first

If a GM decided a PC should get pregnant without first negotiating that with the player in question, I would immediately assume it was a magical realm thing and quit the game. Fucking disgusting.

File: 1442371653638.jpg (18KB, 680x410px) Image search: [Google]

18KB, 680x410px

>>44884530
What a loss.

The official module included a subplot where one of the PCs gets caught alone in the basement with the town bicycle by her father.

>our gunslinger is the unfortunate PC
>minmaxed for CHA, dumped INT and WIS
>father is ready for a fight
>gunslinger uses DIPLOMACY, it's super effective
>gunslinger insists he's going to marry the girl, they'll have a happy family, he just has to go out adventuring to gain some wealth first
>spends the next couple of days in the girl's company
>DM rolls for it and yep, she's preggo
>every time we kill some mighty monster or solve some difficult puzzle, the gunslinger collects a trinket to send home to his wife and eventually, kid
>literally sends junk because he's stupid

>>44884940

What am I looking at here?

>>44885392
Sex maths?

>>44885392
An abortion.

>>44885392
Ctrl-Alt-Delete comic

My character's entire backstory is about getting the local forest spirit pregnant and taking responsibility.

The current quest is to rescue the forest spirit so my character can properly wife her.

>>44885017

To be fair, Shayliss is a gently used, very shiny red bicycle.

>>44884940
>>44884530
>>44885392

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehC4ZXw9wgc

B^U

>>44882773
No, not for lack of trying by another character

>>44885780

I've never seen an episode of Evangelion in my life but this was great nontheless. I still don't get what that equation is though; is it an Evangelion thing?

File: 1446027076703.png (341KB, 850x832px) Image search: [Google]

341KB, 850x832px

>>44886408
This better be some really cute relationship stuff going on and not some magical realm ERP.

>>44886514
Can it be both?
It does involve a buffslut psion and his barbarian GF though

Not yet. She's happily married, and does plan to settle down and have kids eventually, but she loves the traveling life too much to stop when she's still so young and isn't stupid enough to try to raise a family on the road.

>>44886684
details anon

File: 20130610-230155.jpg (144KB, 604x763px) Image search: [Google]

144KB, 604x763px

>>44886510

There was once this shitty webcomic called Ctrl+Alt_Del, written by this guy named Tim Buckley. It was mostly made up of really forced and cringe-enducing "LOLSORANDUMB" humor that massively pandered to gamers, and if it had stayed that way, no one would have batted an eye. At one point, he decided it would be a good idea if the love interest got pregnant, and when he realized he'd written himself into a corner, what did he do? "Fuck it, miscarriages for everyone!" When everyone called him out for making a shit move, he defended it as "dramatic". Then people went and switched the characters around and did all kinds of shit to mimic the composition of the characters in each panel of the "Loss" comic (pic related). The formula is: solitary character A, character in front of character B who is pointing, character A talking to character C, character A looking down on character D, who is lying down, crying.

File: 1452700221064.png (3MB, 1799x2231px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 1799x2231px

>>44886771
Ah, the loss. The greatest cultural achievement of the XXI century.

File: 005[1].jpg (71KB, 669x989px) Image search: [Google]

71KB, 669x989px

>>44882811

>>44886832
Why Hercules+snake?

>>44886894

Look closely at the coat of arms.

>>44886771

I should have clarified I know what CTRL+ALT+DEL is, I just didn't realize that equation was a variation of it. I see it now though.

In game only a few times. Epilogue more often.

Most recent game with it, she had the baby but it was a survival sort of game so she couldn't just go and live quietly and safely take care of it. Unfortunately the baby died when she tried to flee from raiders and one attacked her from behind without knowing about the baby, which killed it. She had to bury it and move on to keep up with the group.

File: IRON HEART SURGE.png (111KB, 235x206px) Image search: [Google]

111KB, 235x206px

>>44886852

>>44882864
You know humanity is fucked when pregnancy becomes just a fetish.

>>44883655
please tell me more

>cleric really needs some +INT jewelry for skills and stuff
>in town one day with the rogue
>they come across a gentleman of questionable means
>let's call him Jerry
>Jerry says he could get them the jewelry
>rogue (dwarf) too Jewish to pay up
>offers to have sex instead
>cleric (half orc) chimes in
>Jerry has himself a pretty wild night
>cleric gets a +2 int necklace for the trouble
>DM rolls
>also gets pregnant
>DM rolls again
>rogue is pregnant too
>Jerry later joins party as a DMPC
>Now trying to coax the virginal druid to finish spreading his oats to the remainder of the female PCs

What made it even better was that the Rogue was the DM's wife and the Cleric was the DM's mom. The inital mortification on his face was wonderful to see.

File: 1225258654685.png (94KB, 1280x670px) Image search: [Google]

94KB, 1280x670px

>>44882773
>>44882811

>>44887193
I feel like I'd be uncomfortable with running a game for my mom at all

>>44887407
The best part is that due to the way the rule is written for it an adventurer can use it to end storms or droughts or even evaporate oceans. A Drow that could use it could theoretically extinguish the Sun with it. This is because ironheart surge ends the cause of the effect.

>>44887696


I'd go insane before I could get halfway through explaining the rules of an RPG to my mom.

>>44887696
>>44887830

It does get pretty wearisome explaining the rules to her because she forgets a lot, but she's a lot better than the DM's dad who seems to forget how the game even works from week to week. He likes playing, but memorization is a trial for both of them. Stellar human beings and role players, but not great at combat.

As for comfort levels, they're a weird family. I'm happy that my girlfriend and I managed to play with them.

>>44887193
So let me get this straight

>fantasy
>dungeons and dragons
>DM is a guy
>one character, his girlfriend, wants to whore herself out for magic items, to an NPC, aka her boyfriend d
>the mom hears this and says "oh me too"
>they have a simulated threesome
>he bothers to roll and get his mom and girlfriend pregnant
>has that NPC stick around

Wtf

File: 0a432247706030069f6852ea26106218.jpg (6KB, 236x157px) Image search: [Google]

6KB, 236x157px

>playing human preist of Silvanis
>witch casts spell on our female elf ranger
>she forces herself on me
>roll to resist her wild female charms
>strength roll of 6
>we do it
>kill witch
>elf comes up to me later and says she is with child
>says I can't return to my church and have to come back to her village for an elven wedding or her father will send troops after me

Fuck

>>44887985

His wife, not girlfriend

And it was a fade to black type thing

Role play can be separate from real life

>>44887193
>things that never happened: the "why would you even make that up" edition.

File: 1419310127984.png (22KB, 322x213px) Image search: [Google]

22KB, 322x213px

>>44886771
The main character's gf was based on the author's gf, who miscarried in real life. I'm not sure if that makes it better or worse.

>>44885613
What a good guy.

I knocked up the Princess of our campaigns Kingdom as a result of her being bit by a magical realm type "love bug" that incites incredible lust in whoever it bites.

Didn't get immediately executed for it by the King simply because he liked my character and was especially grateful that i'd managed to root out and kill a warlock that was planning to assassinate him and his family via giant fireball at a feast.

Fun times those were.

>>44888610
Go on...

Done a lot of impregnating, particularly under one DM because it was a fetish of hers I think, and had us make a living off it. Haven't willingly played a female character and haven't been impregnated though.

File: gain.png (346KB, 579x544px) Image search: [Google]

346KB, 579x544px

>>44888350
So much worse.

Once I was running a campaign where the players were supposed to be taking down the evil king and his 13 eeeeevil badguys. So one day they wound up going to this tourney type event (they had picked it off a board of random events) and I decided to have one of the badguys take part in the tourney. She was a good archer so I did a robin hood thing where she just dressed down like a normal lady (instead of her usual all-black red-mask costume. They also had never met this one.)

She of course wins the thing, beating the player archer. While other events are going on one character who spoke a lot of languages noticed she was spanish and decided to introduce her to the pc archer who was also spanish. I let him roll some seduction and she went off to an inn with him, not realising who he was and he of course not realising who she was.

So he ends up hanging out with her more (I asked if it was a 1 time thing and he said he wanted to date her etc) so I rolled some dice and decided she was pregnant. She tells him and he does the right thing and proposes, and she ends up telling him the truth about who she is and agreeing to help him because she wants a better world for their baby and blah blah. It seems like it'll be an interesting story thing and useful for the players to dismantle the bad guys and get some useful info from her.

Until that player isn't there and the other PC's find out that he's dating ONE OF THE BAD GUYS and thus is in cahoots with them. I think they were trying not to meta game but it was fucking miserable. They planned out how they were going to kill her and capture him to make sure he was loyal etc etc.... we stopped playing that campaign.

>>44888657
Well alright, i'll start with how i ended up in the situation in the first place.

>Group consists of an elf Rouge, a human wizard, a half-orc barbarian and me a human fighter
>Our group had been together for about a year in game and had made a name for ourselves as "Those homeless guys that stormed Lord Tylions Castle and murdered the fuck out of him because some peasants were upset about taxes and conscription"
>Fortunately for us the Lord we had killed was actually part of a Nobleman's Revolt that hadn't quite announced its presence just yet
>Tylion was conscripting peasants to build an army to surprise the King and do Noble Rebel things and what not
>Our actions forced the had of the Noble Rebels and the Kingdom is now at war
>We also receive an invitation to the Kings Court as reward for us revealing the Rebellion before it could reach it's full strength
>So we travel to the capital and have a grand feast with the King and all that jazz
>During our time celebrating with the Loyalists and the King our Rouge uncovers a plot to kill the King and his family during the feasting
>A rather lengthy questline of espionage and sneaking about the Keep reveals that one of the new servants is more than he seems
>The servant being a Warlock under the employment of the rebellion
>This all climaxes when we chase the Warlock into the main hall right in the middle of the King's speech about how the rebellion will be crushed
>I end up decapitating the Warlock before the King and we gain even more favor, gold and feasting.
>While in the midst of celebrations the King receives news that the university that his daughter was studying at is now under threat of rebel attacks and she is on her way home
>King is short on manpower as every available soldier is either manning guard posts in the capital or is out fighting the rebels
>We get appointed to go rendezvous with the Princess' escorts and make sure she comes home safely

cont.

>>44888025

Is the Elf ranger cute?

>>44882773
One of my characters was basically octomom. Slavishly loyal to another PC from the start of the game and only degraded from there to suit that PC's whims. Being also a heretek they had the means to never fully Carey a baby to ten personally, except that one time their partner demanded she do so anyway. She would up bearing like 8 of his 11 or so spawn.

Most other times it was a post game\epilogue type deal where the monster and space barbarian wound up happily ever after or jokes about the arch militant and rogue trader characters having lesbian babies. Or npcs getting knocked up and waiting for their husbands to return or perhaps joining us because of that very same reason.

>>44888459

The best part is the DM decided she was going to make my character's daughter, and the forest spirit, a vital part of the plot.

I haven't even met either of them in-game!

The forest spirit is described as having wheat-blonde hair and golden-brown eyes.

>>44888963
>We encounter her escort being assaulted by Rebel Guerrillas
>The barbarian commences operation Rip and Tear while the wizard starts torching everything with fire
>Royal Guards rally and try to push the rebels back
>Fighting gets grim as more and more rebels start pouring from the forest and the Guards can't hold them back
>The Captain of the Guard tells my group to take the princess and start running like hell
>She's very distraught about leaving him and the rest of the Guard behind but we grab her and hoof it
>We hoof it the wrong direction and get lost in the absolutely massive forests that stretch for miles on end
>I was wounded pretty badly during the fight and since we lack a Cleric and ample health supplies we need to find a place to hold out in
>Salvation comes at last when we happen upon an old overgrown watchtower
>Group places me and the Princess inside, the Rouge sets traps around the tower and we all recover for a time
>Eventually the decision is made for me and the Princess to stay put while the group goes out to try and find where the hell we're at
>So her and I are left alone in the tower while they are gone and we tell each other our life stories
>All goes well until she suddenly jumps up and shrieks that somethings bit her
>I notice that it's a small red beetle
>Me not being much for nature and what not smash it and dismiss it as harmless
>A few minutes pass and i notice that she's panting heavily and is red in the face
>Ohgodwhatthefuck.jpg
>She begins moaning in what i think is pain
>Think how im going to explain this to the party when they return and find that she's died from a fucking beetle

Cont.

>>44888963
>>44889348
Rogue.

>>44889348
>I then notice that she's not moaning in pain but rather in pleasure. Also her left hand has disappeared under her dress
>It is at this moment I realize that it wasn't poison at all
>She then turns to me with a wild look of pure primal lust in her eyes
>In my current state all I can do is try to reason with the sex maddened woman
>She pounces on me and starts grinding on me and tells me how brave I was fighting off those rebels
>Truth be told i only killed two of them before getting a spear through the leg and almost passed out
>She starts undressing the both of us despite my pleads to stop this both for her sake and my head as the King would more than likely not take kindly to this
>Tells me that she's going to use me like the sex toy I am and what not
>I ponder what i should do now and question what would be the right thing to do in this situation
>I realize that I'm not a Paladin bound by any real solid codes or creeds so I say fuck it
>For the next twelve hours I indulge in hardcore dominant Princess sex in the woods
>Princess comes too halfway through it but decides its fine and continues on
>Party returns both horrified and blushing at the mess we made with our romp
>Eventually we make it out of the forest and report to the King
>He's furious at first when she tells him about what happened in the tower
>She eventually tells him to calm down and tells him that she's smitten with me
>King eventually gives in and approves of our relationship but tells me that we are now forever bound to the Kingdom's service
>He also has the condition that I am not to bed her until our official marriage and until then I am to act as her personal guard
>We agree and the campaign becomes more a political campaign with us organizing the destruction of the Rebellion
>I typically end up guarding the Princess' chambers most of the time as part of the deal but still participate in planning things and what not
>My wedding is scheduled to be the topic of next session so yay

>>44888781
>>44888350
Ex-girlfriend actually. But to paraphrase B^U's horrible defense, it was a toxic relationship and doomed to fail but it was a hard thing because you can't really blame anyone and fuck you for telling me I can't do what I want with my characters in my comic because I am the god here and I know who lives and who will die and who will move out and...
Yeah, it was a shit show made all the more spectacular by his meltdown afterwards.

>>44889388
Every goddamn time....

>>44888025
>doesn't want to fuck the elf
What're you, gay?

Closest my character's gotten is asking our now-vacated resident biologist how making babbies would work now that she's been turned into a slime. That and the curious pondering of "what happens when an elf and dorf try to make a runt?"

>>44883786

Fake and gay.

>>44882773
>Husband dies
>I play the wife
>Son kills a god
>I lead an empire
Pretty good if you ask me.

>>44889454
>Princess comes too halfway through it but decides its fine and continues on

That's honestly kind of cute, in a weird sexual way. Well, at least your DM wasn't a dick about it. If I was him, I would've had one of your wounds reopen during the frantic lovemaking and you'd have to risk bleeding out before the princess comes to her senses enough to stop and help fix your bandages.

>>44882773

It's happened to me twice no- Oh you mean in character? Christ no!

File: image.jpg (279KB, 926x403px) Image search: [Google]

279KB, 926x403px

>>44889348
The nettle made her horny? That's a new one..

>>44890614
Pregnancy is a GURPS minor major or massive disadvantage depending on the edition. Counts as extra encumbrance, with +2 to perception rolls to smelling.

>>44882811
By RAW doesn't provide penalties
So the DM decides it's not a condition

>>44886771
You know loss aside I kind of like cad I should go see how it's going I think the last time I read it was during that filler before the reboot.

As for loss I dident mind it that much although I do agree that it was him realising he wrote himself into a corner there's admitidly no auctual evidence of that but why the fuck else would he do it.

It's by no means a masterpiece on the level of oglaf and xkcd or even great on the level of things like penny arcade or qc (which might have gone to shit I haven't read it in a while) but its an enjoyable read certainly better then crap like girls with slingshots (which was so promising with its ability to have tumblr topics like asexual characters and straight people going gay for 1 person without auctualy going tumblr and some great humor in general but that constant undercurrent of its great for women to have sex toys and shit but if men do it it's creepy got to fucking much)

The more I think about it the more I realise that stupid chair was retarded though

The gag with the main character failing to realise that his current girlfriend would understand if he canceled a date to go to e3 was fucking hilarious though

Twice. One got magic aborted, the other was an incest baby and the pregnancy got transferred to the character's half-sister.

>>44882773
Not to one of my characters, but when I was DMing an Age of Worms campaign, I had one of my players (female) roll for pregnancy after some shagging between her PC and her RL husband's and got it. I broke out the old Netbook of Unlawful Carnal Knowledge to derive their child's future attributes. His PC's parents (who I RP'ed as somewhat disappointed with his career choice) came to adore their grandchild.

>>44885780
I can't stop laughing send help

>>44886936
Too lazy to use the actual math runes
BU = buckley
[A] = guy walking into door (panel 1)
P/<-O = guy on counter being told to go to the left( panel 2)
PQ = two guys facing each other (panel 3)
(omega) = buckley's wife and her abortion (panel 4)

Only one time where it mattered in game, my character and a baby she was given to run away with (eventually other player) got stranded in some abandoned nonstandard reality realm and had to survive there for the rest of their lives supposedly. Stuck together and wandering the planes they eventually became a couple by default and had kids so there was time in game where my character was pregnant and having to adventure, even as far as being late in term as well as with a baby on her back and another in her arms. Was quite difficult to play through and had some near close calls. Probably wasn't smart but it didn't seem like the worst idea if we really were going to be stuck there forever, and ended up becoming important to the plot.

>>44885780
Why?!

>>44882773
Happened to the DMPC, sadly, I'm not kidding.
Long story short, my fighter found the one 19 CHA female bard in town, they literally had sex that night and got married the next because the Fighter realized refusal wasn't an option at that point.
So this bard ends up becoming the DMPC as a result, and eventually the DM gets tired of being the DM and lets me DM.
I basically retired the two of them, and be retired I mean they're married but still relevant to the plot in a strange sort of way. The fighter has a curse on him now, it's complicated. But they're happy and twins on the way, so Good End for now.

>>44882773
My character is from a matriarchal culture, and when she got married to a woman, part of the marriage contract was that her wife would select a consort who would conceive children with her to further the bloodline, while my character is off adventuring, bringing in more money for the sake of their House. It seems inevitable in a feudalistic society where same-sex marriage is accepted.

>bard is only female in group IC & OOC
>pretty cool one of the bro's type chick
>knows the DM's got a thing for her
>have already addressed the fact she's not interested
>apparently dropped a hint to him she likes someone in the group without specifying
>rest of group has no idea any of this happened
>everytime a session starts "oooh i wanna sit next to anon 1."
>and would siddle a little to close to anon 1 for a session
>kinda made things awkward cause no one knew what she was doing
>figure shes just suddenly comfortable enough with the group to act cutesy or some such
>one day ingame she up and grabs some random male npc and propositions him
>dm grudgingly agrees which was odd since we've done shit like this before no problem
>fade to black while rest of party goes shopping and quest hint hunting
>this continues to happening at every town
>can tell DM's getting a little upset cause everytime it happens he does this nervous dice roll behind the screen over and over and over
>he's done this before when we smash his campaigns up but never for something so lowkey
>campaign continues on like semi normal for a few sessions
>one day the dm says bards pregnant
>says its already been a month
>bard finds out through insanely bad lets get a cleric morning sickness
>cleric says its just pregnancy
>bard is furious IC & OOC
>cleric drops us a tip after the murderous rage subsides about a village a few miles back who has a guy that does abortions
>track back the way we came
>journey's on foot cause we're broke and don't have enough funds
>bards now getting swollen ankles and is a vomit machine
>guess bards can't sleep around anymore.....
>finally make it to village
>find guy easily enough he owns a church
>get bard her abortion potion
>gotta wait a week for recovery dm says
>day before shes recovered bard hands us a list of people to track down
>tall brown hair lanky, blonde hair short fat, black hair tan skin, black curly hair black skin
>can find all but black guy
Cont.

File: disgonbegood.gif (5MB, 320x180px) Image search: [Google]

5MB, 320x180px

>>44893073
>can find all but black guy

>>44893073
>cause we're in Not Northern Europe
>obvious that its a list of people with our descriptions minus DM
>says now that she's in s town with a guy who can make this no consequences why not enjoy herself?
>offers rest of party as well
>only rogue(blondy) takes her up
>goes to cleric guy
>disgusted with her hands her a potion and says get out of his town
>dm looks like he's internally seething
>about 7 days out she gets sick again
>head the fuck back to town cause she thinks the cleric poisoned her or something
>cleric looks her over and says
"yeah you had so much sex you got octuplets. My potions can't fix that."
>OOC i burst out laughing
>bard gets up and leaves
>actually slams door hard enough the dead bolt swung out mid swing and cracked the door frame
>after i calm my ass DM explains whats been happening
>feel like shit but still stifling laughs
>never see bard again cept at the bar
>never get beyond a few words with her

>>44893073
>>44893147

I read it all twice, closely, and still don't understand what the fuck was going on.

File: queen.jpg (49KB, 500x434px) Image search: [Google]

49KB, 500x434px

>>44893147
>"yeah you had so much sex you got octuplets. My potions can't fix that."
Neckbears continue to ruin everything by not knowing how sex works.

Also I was expecting a much better conclusion given the first half.

>>44893132
Yeah we had a ten minute conversation on that. Whole setting is Not Earth. NotAfricans have their own area they share with NotArabs who are at a border war with NotAsia down south. NotEurope is the upper third of the mega continent and is firmly staying out of it.
Marcus wasn't happy but this shit was established way before hand.

>>44893169
Bard was a tease and had rp sex with strangers to blueball our dm. Entire time she even played cutesy with various table members to keep ticking at him. This made the DM very angry but managed to keep out of table shit out of table probably still wanted to bang her. She went overboard by having an orgy with ingame lookalikes of the OOC group minus DM and one party member which made the DM go overboard.

>>44893217
Why did she do that, and why was the DM blueballed by it? He wanted to bang her and she knew?

That story fucking sucks.

File: 1437885986407.jpg (19KB, 268x293px) Image search: [Google]

19KB, 268x293px

I dealt with being on the... consequential end of a pregnancy.

>Around 2013-2014.
>Join some Homebrew and freeform community after friend suggests.
>"Anon they're very experienced and there is tight security on these things. It's pretty new too!"
>Agree to not make him upset.

>Start making character
>Foreign-born bounty hunter from totally-not-Par Vollen who was raised by a blind wizard as a teen.
>"Born within a foreign empire which practiced a set of laws, which defines the role of everyone and everything in the society for their entire life and isn't afraid of--"
>Friend taps me on the shoulder -
"No Anon it's best if you make your character a family member for best plots!"
>Naively agree to find senpai, kind of still like the idea.

>Talk to some other players, they like me.
>Someone gives me a slot to be their kid.
>Daughter of some Necromancer and his wife. wife is obviously built around the dude.
>"It's for the best anon, you'll see - you can still use your ideas later on."
>I guess.
>They plan to do my first introduction, tell me to post later.
>Unsteadily acknowledge.

>Few days pass
>Get PM'd to post.
>"Anon it's your big reveal"
>Read their post's
>Mother going into labour
>JESUS CHRIST WHAT THE FUCK
>Graphic detail of my char's birth.
>"FRIEND WHAT THE FUCK."
>Blood and shit everywhere.
>"JEEZE IDK ANON IDK THERE THAT TYPE OF PEOPLE. I DIDN'T HAVE TO GROW UP."
>Cry. Forever.


>Forced to be a newborn.
>Forced to grow up.
>Can't be captured, forced to stay in family, no running away. No deserting.
>Never asked for this.

Worst far-left field ever. It was expected of me.

>>44887776
Gold Experience Requiem!

>>44893217
Should've have a fertility goddess punish her or something for what she did, not give her octuplets because too much sex.

I mean, think about it - deciding that you can get an abortion anyway so you might as well have as much sex as you want is probably going to piss one of the motherly goddesses off.

>>44882773
A Song of Ice and Fire RPG. Players were running a house and needed an heir. The lady of the house was built for diplomacy and grace: she actually took Endurance as one of her flaws because she's dainty and shit. She was very concerned when I started asking her to test Endurance to give birth, morso because they never got around to aquiring a maester for their house. Whenever she crit-failed an endurance test she would take a wound. Nobody in the party had bothered to take ranks in heal either. Burning a destiny point, the Lord of the house performed an emergency c-section on his wife with zero medical training. The baby survived but the mother (not surprisingly) did not.

That was the end of that "chapter".The next chapter started 6 years later; the player who had been the mother is now playing as the child.

>>44893147

What was she, a cat or something?

>>44893292
I've been wanting to use a pregnant NPC woman as a plot device for Good player characters for awhile.
The woman's husband would be a major NPC for the adventure, and whether the players help deliver the baby, of course going into labor at the most inconvenient of times, will determine if he gives them a powerful magic item.

>>44882773

Not so far, haven't played enough characters that have much of a sex life.

My group's ranger probably has a pregnant leopard though.

>>44882773
The penalties build up slowly. But they're there. And the nausea can stick around for MONTHS.

And that belly? hope you weren't planning on wearing armor, or anything that was a tight fit and won't stretch a ton for you for the last, oh, five or even six months.

And that's encumbrance. Massive encumbrance.

Yes, you *can* stay up and functional - mostly - for the majority of your pregnancy *if* there's no complications. But functional is not the same as 100% or even "comfortable".

Plus, you might need emergency medical attention to avoid bleeding to death, or getting poisoned by a dead fetus midway, or even just dying to infection and disease. Probably die of shock if one wasn't filled with enough natural morphine to mellow out an elephant when giving birth (and even then get the epidural. get it. stop being a fucking hippie idiot and get the fucking shot). It's no compound fracture, but it lasts many hours, whereas compound fractures usually get you put under while they're being fixed, and on all the painkillers you could want for a few months afterwards.

If pregnancy and reproduction were such a wonderful easy time women can just waltz through at will, there wouldn't be a need for orgasms. Says something that we need to be tricked into it all.

I realized my previous post was digressing HARD so pertinent details only: No. Pregnancy, birth, dead, child-rearing happened in a timeskip.

While I'm sure our party would've had a blast taking the piss out of me bumbling through helping give birth and raising a child from scratch, the powers that be had other plans.

>>44888752
>Done a lot of impregnating, particularly under one DM because it was a fetish of hers I think, and had us make a living off it.

Being a Childgetter was an actual historical profession.

Running oWoD, where a majority of the players are kinfolk to shifters. The female players/characters seem to enjoy being mothers of monsters and wise broodmother advisors to the fighty males. Normal teachers, students, doctors and social workers by day, monster hunters/mothers by night. Cue arguments if their children should grow up as beasts or be intergrated into human society.

It's all very tribal and savage until another player, a Son of Ether not-Samus Mage made up some super growth machine hoping to see them mass produce monsters and using them as living test subjects.

They got the dumbest male beast there to use animal attraction on her, knocked her up, then used her own device on her to give her the test subject she wanted.

>>44883627
>>44883664
Only if you had a shit DM.

I currently have three different characters that might be pregnant, but not enough time has passed to be sure. The DM for each rolled them and kept them secret. One of them might even be pregnant with a half fiend. We'll just have to see.

>>44894595
>half-fiend
How?

File: pe ru so na.gif (2MB, 256x192px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 256x192px

Do you fuckers all play FATAL or something?

>>44893073
>>44893147
>female players

>>44893352
Pregnant from the bard?

A role-playing mud I play has events where the hosts/gamemasters will make special items for the players. Anything from fancy hats, to t-shirt silk screening kits, to robots, right? One time, a player asks for a baby, since she and her boyfriend had been together awhile.

The hosts talk it over, and they build a baby object. It cries, it coos, it has moods, it needs food. It reuses a bunch of code from existing pet objects in the game, and one of the builder-type hosts has a blast making lists of responses.

They hand the baby over to the player, and she plays with it for a couple of minutes. Then she hands it over to her boyfriend. He looks at it, plays with a couple of commands on it, and then puts the baby in his backpack, with his portable coffee maker, stun gun, collection of interesting rocks, and all his other stuff.

There was new rule made that day: No babies. Player-characters are on futuristic birth control while they're player characters.

>>44894797
What MUD? I thought they were all long dead.

>>44894619
The group ended up what they thought were some escaped slaves. After talking to them (and finding out they were fairly attractive), my character stays behind to get to know them better. After a while, the two of them bring up sex, and my character being the hedonist she is takes them up on it. Fast forward to the next day after they had started 'socializing' with the tribe we were staying with, nearly half the tribe has come down with the shakes, and we deduce that the two are actually pairakas in disguise. They slip off before we can catch them, and then come back with a small army to overrun the tribe.

In the end, at least we killed one of the two.

>>44894831
There's a bunch of muds still around, but only a fraction of them are anything besides Skinner boxes. The one I play is Star Conquest, a space opera game that's heavy on character development through roleplaying: http://moo.squidsoft.net:7779/background

>>44895338
I'll try and nose into it later when I get a chance. Thanks anon. I used to love MUDS back in the day, then uni comes and goes and they all just evaporated. Now most Muds are either dead or just tiny little cliques.

File: 1447468733636.jpg (16KB, 480x480px) Image search: [Google]

16KB, 480x480px

>>44891704
>masterpiece
>xkcd

>>44893436
>hope you weren't planning on wearing armor, or anything that was a tight fit and won't stretch a ton for you for the last, oh, five or even six months.
By RAW enchanted items and armor will resize themselves to fit the wearer, so while it's a problem with mundane armor, even a +1 to that platemail will mean your pregnant PC can keep breaking orc heads behind the safety of steel

>If pregnancy and reproduction were such a wonderful easy time women can just waltz through at will, there wouldn't be a need for orgasms. Says something that we need to be tricked into it all.
Now that you mention it, I kinda wonder how being a high enough level to have an inhuman Fort save would affect how bad pregnancy is

>>44894619
When a demon lusts after a girl very much....

>>44895651
>Now that you mention it, I kinda wonder how being a high enough level to have an inhuman Fort save would affect how bad pregnancy is
I'd assume that things like morning sickness would be handled with a check to not throw up, so having high saves would make you less likely to get sick.

>>44895779
Actually it can be the opposite. Sometimes, when you're in great shape, the hormonal balance is tilted that much worse, and really fucks you up bad.

Keep in mind... you've already "failed the save" and your body *has* to change itself by quite a bit - especially if you had higher than average testosterone and harder musculature due to being highly athletic - or one of you isn't going to make it.

This isn't 100% mind you; few things about pregnancy ever are, but I have seen far worse from girls at olympic levels when they get it (again not everyone gets every symptom the same) than from morbidly obese women - who are almost always what those "she didn't know she was pregnant until she went into labor" bits on local news are about.

Same with breast engorgement: Some girls will gain two cup sizes, others will just feel slightly more firm, and some basically *only* get to have their nipples transform into huge dark brown messes when they used to be all small and pink, which is disheartening if you were nearly flat.

>>44893245
I... what.

>>44895779
>I'd assume that things like morning sickness would be handled with a check to not throw up, so having high saves would make you less likely to get sick.
>TFW no level 20 barbarian waifu who's Fort is high enough that pregnancy won't slow her down as she turns monsters to mulch

>tfw you'll never be a mom

File: 1450581266500.jpg (8KB, 325x325px) Image search: [Google]

8KB, 325x325px

>>44894263
That's what I'm saying, the DM had us doing that for awhile in-game as a money-making scheme.

>mfw finding out it had historical precedent.

>>44897642
>TFW you'll never be a MILF adventurer, high enough level pregnancy doesn't even slow you down

>>44886510
The equation isn't really an equation. It's the CAD comic as slightly subtle emoticons.

File: 1428878991939.jpg (94KB, 471x650px) Image search: [Google]

94KB, 471x650px

>>44897642
>>44897986

What's stopping you?

>>44882773
Pregnancy has only come up once in a game I DM'd. Basically it was my first time DMing and, coincidentally, my first time playing. One of the players had a character who was basically Conan the Barbarian. The players had just had a successful adventure, retired to a tavern, got drunk. Conan's character makes a Charisma check to try and attract hot ladies; he rolled a natural 20, which was still a 19 even with his Charisma penalty, so he shacks up with a girl for the night.

Basically I decided to have him roll a d% check, adding +5% for each point of Constitution he had above 10; I think his CON was 14 so that translates out to a +20% bonus. So I told him that if he rolled a 30 or higher, the lady got pregnant (I think I also had a Will save for him to pull out, but he failed). I forget the number he rolled, but she did indeed end up pregnant.

Party left town after that; never saw her again. However, I have kept the system I used in mind as the basic chance of someone getting pregnant, should it ever come up in a game I run again.

(For the record, the player rolls the d% regardless of their gender; male characters are rolling to see if they impregnate, females to see if they are impregnated; either way NPCs don't make rolls because I'm not looking to make a whole subsystem out of this)

And that's pretty much it. Recently my own character *almost* got pregnant due to having a good time after an adventure, but I narrowly missed the d% check (funnily enough my character also has a CON 14, but I managed to roll lower than 30) (and also miserably failed the Will save to get the guy to pull out in time).

I actually didn't tell my DM I was making the check; and since my character is an elf it probably wouldn't have even come up during the campaign anyway since I go by the idea that elf pregnancies last 2 years, while the current campaign is unlikely to go for more than a few months in-universe.

>>44882773
Yeah, d&d game.
Had to search for obscure spells to accelerate the birth on Book of Unlawful Carnal Knowledge and Boof of Erotic Fantasy, mainly.

>>44898293
>Not going on a miniquest to get a blessing from a fertility goddess that protects the fetus and gives you a stat boost for being pregnant, then seeking out an obscure spell to pause your pregnancy, making the stat boost and your pregnancy permanent

>>44898430
I remember seeing a pretty magical realm thing on here about an Anon statting out a prestige class for a fertility faith. The women could hold onto pregnancies as long as they wanted and get pregnant multiple times depending on their level. One of the biggest things was a boost for having a fetus, so getting pregnant with like 20 was a massive, massive boost.

Also unbirthing, that stuff was fucked up.

File: 1382545653231.png (353KB, 853x470px) Image search: [Google]

353KB, 853x470px

>>44898430
>>44898475

That is such a bastardization of fertility rites that I feel compelled to write this post.

Simplifying fertility cults to "she gets very knocked up and just gulps down the dick" is ignoring their primary association with agriculture. A fertility rite is more about getting the crops to grow than anything else.

The female fertility aspect was there to make a tangible connection between the plants in the field and the womb of a woman.

If you want an *accurate* portrayal of fertility rites in a fantasy setting, the faith should be about ensuring a good harvest by getting impregnated by local nature spirits, or getting impregnated by your beloved in an area of natural power.

>>44898703
Dude it's magical realm, the guy actually statted out unbirthing. You're not supposed to put that much thought into it.

>>44898703
>ensuring a good harvest by getting impregnated by local nature spirits, or getting impregnated by your beloved in an area of natural power.
would play/10

>>44898703
I wanna play a harvest paladin.

Chooses a pitchfork as his primary weapon and chooses to dedicate his life to protecting agriculture and livelihood.

I dont think DnD would allow this.

File: 1450239901421.png (253KB, 442x442px) Image search: [Google]

253KB, 442x442px

>>44898703
>the faith should be about ensuring a good harvest by getting impregnated by local nature spirits

If you wanted to expand this further, you could argue the local nature spirits didn't actually get her pregnant, they simply made her womb exceptionally fertile for the next month!

Sometimes you gotta spread some nitrogen on the field to improve yield, after all!

Hell, this means men could get involved as well, by fucking a female nature spirit and getting his dick all covered in the stuff that'll keep it hale and hardy for the next time you see your wife.

>>44898841

Pathfinder has this, he's called Erastil.

There's also some Empyreal Lords that are straight-up fertility aspects.

>>44898841
LG Halfling Paladin or Cleric of Yondalla. Domains of Protection and Halfling or possibly Good.

>>44898841
The pitchfork is kind of unconventional and silly but protecting the peasantry from monstrous/infernal/etc threats is pretty much what paladins are for, a lot of the time.

>>44898430
Well the stat boost would be what, changing from -4 to -3.75 in strength, and that's about it?

Keep in mind that thing is very minor; enough to maybe give you another tenth of a second on your dash and that's about it.

>>44882773
No, but like in the second session I ever played I had my bard seduce another PC, player didn't even care. We had to look up the 3rd edition pregnancy table from one of the sex books. 2 years later still with the same group. His character didn't get pregnant though.

>>44898905
Stat boosts don't come in fractions anon

>Keep in mind that thing is very minor; enough to maybe give you another tenth of a second on your dash and that's about it.
I have no idea what you're referencing

No, but i knocked up a fellow player.
Her husband doesn't know. That spineless fuck thinks it's his kid.

>>44899151
Well if you can't get a fraction (and I'm WELL AWARE they don't come in fractions) then you're really not getting better than +0 out of it.

Since you don't know what I'm referencing here's a FUN FUN read for you: Look up "Abortion Doping" and learn all about it!

>>44898475
>>44898703
I'm the guy who made that class and I'm fully aware it doesn't have anything to do with actual fertility deities and rituals.

It was for a thread where the idea was "come up with a class based on your fetish", and since my fetish is pregnancy I had to figure out some way to create a class that revolved around getting pregnant. Hence statboosts for pregnancy and some vaque fluff to kind of justify it. Obviously that's not a good way to make a class (starting with a fetish and figuring how to create a mechanic built around it isn't exactly a recommended way to design anything) and the end result was predictably very stupid.
As a thought experiment I found it kind of fun though, but there is a reason I don't include it in the pastebin containing the homebrew stuff I've done (and I have some pretty weird stuff there).

Also, I feel I should point out than unbirth isn't actually my fetish. Infact I rather dislike it. But somebody in the thread suggested it and I had no better idea for a capstone ability so I just threw it in.

>>44899217
>Fucks another man's Wife behind his back
>Calls him spineless

Kek.

>>44899563
I liked the idea and the fetish, but personally I dislike multiple pregnancies

>>44885392

Look up "Loss comic" on Google.

>>44899563
If nothing else it was creative and rife with nightmare fuel. Like being able to determine the stats, traits, appearance and even alignment of a baby.

I think it was what, a level 20 cleric of the faith could forcibly unbirth like 80 people, so could on her own wipe out a small village that way and force them all to be reborn as ideal members of the church?

>>44886899
Sure, but why hercules and a snake?

>>44900091
That's...Not actually how the thing I did worked. I never gave ability to determine the stats of the baby (too much work for something I did in 15 minutes on a whim), and you couldn't unbirth that many people (can't remember the cap I gave to the ability, but it was at most a couple of medium-sized creatures).

Which means somebody else has done the same idea, in more detail. Damn it, how come whenever I write something, even if it's incredibly specific and stupid, I find out that somebody has already done it better?

>>44900091
>>44900609
Wait, I think you may be talking about mine
This thing?
http://pastebin.com/RuV96uB6
It wasn't a class, it was a spell and fluff for an order of paladins and clerics that use it

>>44887097
Moon Over June taught me that

>>44882773
>shitposting

Has this ever happened to one of your boards? How do you deal with it?

>>44899800
If he had the tiniest manhood left he'd gotten her pregnant before i did. They have been together for 6 years and tried for a kid for 4 of those years.

One night with me and BAM she's got one in the oven.

>>44900947
How would you know it's yours?

>>44900982
It's not the first time i make a girl preggers. The two before this one got early abortions and told me after the fact

plus, she told me she and her husband had tried every trick in the book to get with child and every one of their attempts had failed.

>>44901062
>Tfw there's the chance they actually did luck out and it's his kid and you're the ultimate keklord for thinking it's yours

>>44901165
Ok, i can agree that there is a minuscule chance they got super-goddamned lucky this one time, but considering how long and how hard they've tried for a kid and got a big fat nothing for it it's not really that likely.

And my gut feeling tells me it's mine. But that's not scientifically quantifiable so i guess i can't count on that.

>>44898204
>dat face

So cute and pure, yet so very, very lewd. Gentlemen! I believe I have just discovered my waifu.

>sensible armour that is also rather fasionable

Yes. Definitely.

>>44901494
My compatriot of nigerian descent.

>>44901255
So who's raising it?

We had a celtic/arthurian campaign whose second story arc should start soon.
My character, a female mage, spent most of the last story arc healing/caring about another player's character, a male noble emissary and there was some potential to have this evolve into a relationship.
Unfortunately, I had to move 1500km away before the campaign would continue, but would be back for the third arc.
Fortunately, our GM had THEsolution. A couple of days after the end of the first story arc, the big fertility rites would begin. Well, our two characters could happen to "discuss" things in private. The morning after, the priests would be ready to arrange the marriage.
As long as I'm away, my character would do the great thing to not go adventuring and be ready to join everybody for the third story arc.

File: disdain for plebs.jpg (4MB, 2160x2184px) Image search: [Google]

4MB, 2160x2184px

>playing female characters

>>44903186
>not wanting free items for something as simple and freely available as sex
>not having the extra dosh to buy good shit from those smart enough not to be swayed by sex
Stay pleb.

>>44893292

>aSoIaF rpg
>character dies in childbirth

That sounds about right.

File: 7a7a5b63d32fcb0eb35c8ce884f8a708.jpg (789KB, 980x980px) Image search: [Google]

789KB, 980x980px

My paladin was knocked unconscious and impregnated with basically an old god.

Everything was fine for a while and it grew very slowly so I didn't know until a timer the DM set went off in the middle of combat, a combat we were outright losing btw. I collapsed, belly immediately expanded, luckily someone was able to pull off my armor. Gave birth to pile of slime and bones while everyone watched in horror/amazement. It grew rapidly into a 12 foot tall vaguely humanoid mass while the party and enemies we were fighting started uselessly hacking at it.

It rampaged killing all of the enemies in grotesque ways while the party was left mostly unharmed before jumping into the river and heading towards the ocean.

>>44903360
>not pimping hos
Plebeian, thy name is anon.

>>44903769
>not being the pimp and the ho
>not pimping other lesser ho's not making your own dolla like a G and taking bitches dolla's too
shieeeet, bitch.

File: it's not delivery.jpg (165KB, 682x674px) Image search: [Google]

165KB, 682x674px

>>44891704
CAD has always been shit but from going to LOL threads and seeing some of the new stuff it seems like it's less shit than it used to be, occasionally he actually tells a joke without wordswordswords.

>>44903811
>being the pimp and the ho
Stop hitting yourself.

He was a rogue.
He was a slaad.
The relationship lasted one combat.
We spent some time debating whether or not he should have the baby, but eventually we aborted.

>>44900947
>Manhood
>implying won't find out and cut yours off.

>>44894286

Just want to put this out there; that is really, really hot and I envy you for this game.

>>44894286
Not even a girl but I'd play a female PC in this.

>>44903712
How did she get impregnated?

>>44893239
Agreed

>>44882773
DM'd for a while. Player wanted to retire her monk PC and switch to something else after the last adventure arc. She retired to live a peaceful life with her paladin husband NPC. Decided she was already a few months pregnant.
The rest of the party became sweet and heartfelt uncle's and aunts. It gave the remaining party members a reason to care even more about the little town they ran.

>>44904300
Some sort of ritual while I was knocked out, it involved forcing a lot of slime stuff down my throat and a summoning circle cut into my stomach.

>>44895646
well im glad we are at least agreed that oglaf is a masterpiece

My current character killed herself over a miscarriage. Now she's a delicious zombie milf.

>>44907326

Do tell, anon.

>>44903709
>Playing Traveller
>character dies in chacter creation.

>>44898204
the medical technology isn't there and probably won't be within our lifetimes

>>44898430
I get this oddest feeling that gods sort of get...you know. Massively pissed if you try and jerk them around like that.

Milking what they find holy for a pure statboost.

Sounds like an incoming Bad Time.

File: 050ed15d39dd8767332d71e9ac9f8a6105b98847.png (25KB, 837x897px) Image search: [Google]

25KB, 837x897px

>>44882773
>Playing Towergirls CIV style campaign
>All knights pick their princess and pretty much get set on making heirs for their kingdom from round 1
>All except the one knight who picked Skeleton princess

Honestly felt bad for him at some points, She'd constantly apologize that she couldn't have his children and would got depressed to the point her husband didn't dare to bring it up. He fixed it eventually but it was surprisingly heart wrenching when it came up. Best/Worst part was when the knights met for a temp truce to fight one of the BBG's and the knight who chose the Goblin princess showed up with her and his like 80+ kids. If skele princess had tear ducts they would have been working then.

>>44882773
It was WoD, one of the fae used my characters as an incubator for his young. Seeing as my character was male, he spent the entire pregnancy slowly descending into madness and tried committing suicide as this alien presence gestated inside of him against his will.

The child was born and it nearly killed my character, but at that point he was already mentally broken. The ST gave my character a second personality that would surface during times of extreme duress. The rest of the campaign for that character became him trying to run from the fae, even becoming a Changeling in the process.

It ended with him being captured indefinitely, a hideous creature that the Fae Lord kept as a breeding mare despite him being male. He eventually committed suicide rather than be forced to go through another pregnancy.

>>44898841
Oath of ancients, treat the pitchfork as a trident. Could work.

>>44908822

... Ir eally shouldn't have a boner from this right now; and yet, I do.

>>44909728
I did, too, honestly. It wasn't even ERP or anything close to magical realm that would hit my fetishes, but the sense of despair and wrongness of it all was doing things to me.

>>44910601
>Mpreg by an fairyelf

If you don't consider that magic ream I don't know what is.

>>44913006
I think he meant it wasn't his magical realm specifically.

>>44898841
Forgotten Realms has Chauntea, the Earth Mother. Goddess of life, fertility and plenty. Favored weapon is the scythe (or qurterstaff). One of the eldest and most powerful deities of Faerun.

>>44913006
>that would hit my fetishes
That's the part you're missing

>>44882773
>Has it ever happened to one of your characters?
I'm fairly certain the Paladin wants to spread his faith inside my character, if you understand what I mean.

>>44905693
It's just okay

>>44913879
Examples of what made you thought that?

File: 1427168789772.gif (470KB, 200x200px) Image search: [Google]

470KB, 200x200px

>>44908700
I just legit cried, nigga

>>44882773
My paladin had this happen to her, she's still adventuring though plans to retire when she either suffers bad times or at the start of the third month.

My cleric took time off to be with the child for its early months, but had to leave it with his parents for a while. He was a saint, and he and his wife needed to go do saintly stuff, like liberating planes from tyranny, and rebuilding the city wiped out by the undead scourge. He does plan to take 20 years off to raise his little aasimar, however.

>>44914211
What kind of celestial is his wife?

>>44914246
He's the celestial, actually. Raised as one by his god.

Might be happening to my world of darkness character. I have to take a break from playing and it's an easy way to get her out for a while.

Also when I come back I get to enjoy the plot of teen pregnancy in Japan.

>>44914259
>Raised as one
What?

>>44889743
> turned into a slime

More details plz

>>44914271
His god turned him into a half-celestial after he died in battle, so as to better defend the innocent.

>>44914294
Oh, I see. I though you were meaning 'raise' as in 'raise a child', not 'raise from the dead'.

>>44914305
Yup. He's packing both saint and half celestial. He's exalted as fuck, and is pretty much his God's herald on the material.

File: marcie_in_plaid__by_sircinnamon-d55kyzd.png (181KB, 723x1104px) Image search: [Google]

181KB, 723x1104px

>>44897642
>tfw you're a stepmom
It's not that bad

>>44904019
>He was a rogue.
>He was a slaad.
COULD I MAKE IT ANY MORE OBVIOUS

>>44882773
my wizard cloned herself and raised the clone as a kid

>>44900746
do not post those words

someone will bring that abomination here

>>44913006
>Magical ream
The freudian slips will be the end of me

Played a female pc
Bodyswapping happened
when we got switched back I had a half celestial kid inside me

>>44903947
I see what you did there...

Had a half-elf fighter/mage character in a long-running game that ended up marrying one of his hired henchmen (coincidentally also a half-elf) after they bonded to get through being captured and tortured by goblins. Eventually, the wife ended up pregnant, as these things are wont to happen, and she eventually retired from adventuring to raise the family.

As the father, I still adventured; while I kept gaming each Sunday, there were weeks in-game between adventures, and there was some downtime to RP life in the city as well as out in the field. Eventually, the campaign wound down, and I'd like to think my character ended up forcefully taking over his own barony, building a second home in his new lands (complete with keyed teleportation circles to his first home and other important locations), taking a more active role in his position as High Director of Magic and Liaison to the Demi-human Population in the Feyhaven High College of Magic, and raising a large family, watching his children (and grandchildren, and great-grandchildren, and great-great-grandchildren, and...) grow up and propagate the family name.

Hell, even in his elder years, I could see him going out to a tavern (or what may pass as one so far in the future) with his Gauntlets of Ogre Strength, and playing punchies with the local riff-raff for a laugh.

The current campaign I am in is going places. One of the guys I played with a couple years back invited me to join his new group just a couple hours before their weekly session. Figured why not since I had nothing better to do and just made a pretty generic fighter mercenary who is only in it for the money. On the 3rd session after we cleared a cave of a cult of some sorts, we went to the inn to celebrate. Like any good merc I decided to try and land a cute one that night and stumbled across a high elf. She ended up inviting me to spend the night with her and I went with it thinking nothing of it.

I woke up the next day in her body, while she apparently took off early in the morning in mine. Of course I was now pregnant in her body. It's been about 5 sessions since then and have had absolutely zero leads on the whereabouts of my old body.

It seems she was a high level sorceress and I've been trying to spend the last few sessions figuring out how to control the magic. I may have burned down part of the town in doing so

>>44901494
That's my paladin's portrait.
She has 3 kids now.

Anyone have the story of the paladin and warlock with the abomination babys? That was cute

>>44908543
>being this trans
Oh /tg/...

>>44915991

Did she start as a Paladin with kids, or did she grow into it over the campaign?

>>44914353
How does it feel like to be a femcuck?

>>44918944
Don't think of it that way,
Think of her having a readily available shota/loli for /ss/ or /ll/

>>44919009
But everyone knows chicks hate sex. Thats how they can constantly use it as a bartering chip with no ill effects.

>>44919064
That doesn't invalidate my point

>>44919064
No, they can use it as a bartering chip because it's so easy to get for them. They can literally be paid to have sex. So whatever you offer them has to be better than money. And I'm not talking minimum wage money either.

>>44919274
Is that why feminazis are against the artificial womb and sexbots?

>>44882773
In the campaign i GM all female characters except one have had a child. it's 4 out of 5. And they're competing to be the most motherly character.

It's kinda of interesting, though the plots are very long term. One is a political child to ally with a barbaric lord, the other is because her race is dying out because made of tinfoil in the middle of an apocalypse and one slept with the big bad and brought it up to me herself.

So far they're too young to be anythjing except a pink noisy object. But you know.

Playing with 4 women around the age of 25-30 in a poilitical campaign apparently brings out the baby-crazy.

>>44888781
dafuq?

>>44882773
I had my character commit suicide then left the game and blocked everyone involved for being rather fucking awful

>>44919309

Of course? It's also why so many of them are against prostitution even though women have a right to do what they will with their bodies.

Hell, it's also why so many of them are critical of women who are "easy", since they're devaluing the price of their sex and causing the men they snagged to have wandering eyes for greener pastures.

>>44888025
You could convince her to enter a monastery. It was a pretty common solution

>>44882773
Pregnancy (3.5e Disease)
Name: Pregnancy (Ex)
Infection DC: 25 (Contact)
Incubation: 10-17 days
Damage: See text

Pregnancy manifests itself as weakness (1d2 strength damage per month) ravenous hunger (a character must eat twice as much in order to maintain nutrition) and aversion to certain foods (a character must make a DC 15 fortitude save or disgorge everything she just ate) fatigue, increased weight (add extra weight as the DM sees fit), bloating (taking a -5 penalty on Disguise checks) constant nausea, mood swings (taking a -2 penalty on diplomacy checks but gaining a +5 bonus on intimidate checks) and pain in the lower back, causing a -2 penalty on attack rolls. In the later months of pregnancy, contractions also occur, causing a character to wake up exhausted in the mornings, and take a -2 penalty on attack rolls from sheer discomfort in addition to the normal rules for exhaustion.

Finally, at the end of pregnancy's course, a character needs to find a place to rest constantly, as the Baby will be well on its way. During birth, the character must succeed on a DC 15 Fortitude save every round or take 1d2 points of lethal damage. If the damage reduces her to negative hit points, she dies, and the baby must make a DC 5 fortitude save or die with its mother. Birth takes nine rounds to complete. If a character survives the birth, she must make a DC 15 fortitude save or fall unconscious for 1d4 hours. Otherwise, she acts as if under a suggestion spell when she looks upon her child.

>>44919409
>25-30 women
They're all baby crazy.

>>44919409
>Playing with 4 women around the age of 25-30 in a poilitical campaign apparently brings out the baby-crazy.

The closer you get to 30 the stronger the need to breed becomes, a woman's 30s might be their "sexual prime" but it's certainly not their most fertile.

>>44919588
You do realize the monthly Str damage and the lethal damage from birth would kill an average human in D&D land

>>44919895

The strength damage is stupid but there's at least some weight behind the lethal damage during childbirth, considering how deadly it was at the time.

This is why having a midwife with the proper gear on-hand gives the Aid Another bonuses needed to make those saves.

>>44919922
Yeah, but your average commoner will only have 4 hp, and a 25% chance of negating the damage each round, that means she'll take 6 or 7 rounds worth of damage, for anywhere between 6 - 14 points and because of the "if they do below 0 HP, they die" part, that's lethal 100% of the time to the vast majority of the population
They'd need to be AT LEAST level 3 to have a snowball chance's in hell of surviving it, level 5 to survive it on average (and level 8 they'd have no chance of dying), I don't have the population demographic from city builder's guide or the DMG on hand but I think that's somewhere around 75% of legality rate for an average city, and much higher for smaller towns and villages

>>44920121
>legality
Lethality is a word autocorrect

>>44918190
It hurts you know

>>44920853
All too well.

>>44918944
Girls can't be cucks, it's a purely male thing

>>44908822
would be my magical realm if he was transformed into a female for it to happen

>>44921131
>men can't cheat, only upgrade
>woman can't be cucked only made obsolete

>>44921131
My mom did it to me. It's not impossible.

>>44921151
And it'd be mine if the fae was female and used him for snu snu

>>44919588
You do realize that women only need 200-300 additional calories of food during pregnancy, and contractions only start maybe a day or so before they give birth. Also, going by these rules, commoners would almost never survive childbirth.

>>44921769
Different anon. Braxton hicks contractions are "false" contractions. They don't usually hurt or last very long and don't increase till before labor in either of those categories. They can happen as early as 6 weeks but usually during second or third trimester but not all mothers get them and it can very from pregnancy to pregnancy on all factors.

>>44888944
Sounds like your group are a bunch of munchkin metagaming faggots who don't want to RP out anything 'difficult'.

>>44889270
In my RT campaign it's going to be a major quest at some point (if my character decides she does want to have the kids) to find a way to have lesbian babies with her Senechal gf. This will likely get slotted in after I figure out a quest to earn herself a Warrant first.

>>44892915
Glad i'm playing in a sci fi game where I can have a matriarchal minded PC (and a lesbian) and still possibly be able to find the technology to allow for female/female conception. Although the GM has said there is a planet in the area we are exploring that has a matriarchal society that basically does the same thing as you described. They are also apparently fans of polygomy and love to interact with off worlders. I'm planing on going there next. My character is already head over heels in love with her gf. I anticipate some potential incoming drama and another potential suitor(s) she will be forced to come up with a way to snub carefully... Although she'll find it much harder to refuse a woman proposing.... hrmmm.... maybe I shouldn't go there next and go to not!Germany instead.

>>44918190
>not wanting to be the little girl

Oh how 4chan has changed.

>>44898890
But would she get pregnant?

And what would the father be?

>>44921004
You feel it too don't you? We nurse from missing breasts. We bear our children in missing wombs. We raise our families on the bones of our fallen dreams. This pain is a secret weapon only we can wield. We'll be stronger than ever

This thread must be reborn!

>>44924189
Use this spell >>44900700

>>44919513
You should stop listening to /pol/ and /r9k/.

>>44923161
To be honest, never mind kids, just let me get fucked in the pussy.

Yes

I kept fighting

>>44924448
I love that artist

>>44921270
You were KEKED by your MOM?! HOW!?

>>44900947
Or he's infertile. Trying for four years without success is a pretty big sign.

>>44924479

Are the dark-skinned ones the light-skunned ones' slaves?

>>44925356
Mom seduced boyfriend?

>>44925934
But it's only being cucked if its your girlfriend being stolen. Cucking doesn't apply to boyfriends.

>>44926166
It's called being cuckqueaned.

>>44926199
Yes and it's perfectly fine, unlike cucking.

>>44926322
Any betrayal of trust is never fine.

>>44926322
It literally has the word "cuck" inside of it.

>>44926029
Fuckin' brutal.

>>44925356
She was overly close with my ex, and they started cheating. When I found out (caught them in the act) I tried to ignore it or just accept it, so for awhile it was happening and I couldn't do anything about it. I wast stupid, that it took me as long as it did to dump him, even after they remained in a relationship that I had to deal with.

File: 1435117164531.png (156KB, 634x1260px) Image search: [Google]

156KB, 634x1260px

>>44918944
Like I said, it's not bad.

My boyfriend's great and his daughter is to die for. This way I get to have the wedding+family I've always wanted without having to wreck my body via pregnancy.

His little girl is 8 and she's welcomed me with open arms into their home, she's less like a daughter and more like a little sister/apprentice/best friend. Plus her mom isn't alive anymore so I'm not a cuck, if anything I'm cucking a ghost.

>>44884715
It could be somthing plot related, like that TNG ep where Diana Troy gets knocked up by a ball of light

>>44926936
>she's less like a daughter and more like a little sister/apprentice/best friend.
that's cute, sometimes i fantasize about being a guy's mistress and also being best friends with his daughter.

>>44927325
>sometimes i fantasize about being a guy's mistress
Whoa, why? Sure, my guy already had a kid, but the wife is dead, I'm not stealing anyone away, I'm no home-wrecker.

Why would you want to be one?

>>44898204
inadequate Medical technology
fundies would kill me over it
kinda got issues over my genes

>>44928391
Dominance.

Currently pregnant, I'd rather just sit in bed than go adventuring.

Then again, I don't have ready access to magic, enchanted armor, and stats like STR 18.

>>44930331
>I'd rather sit in bed then go adventuring.

Everyone would.

>>44925662
The pale ones are goblins. The dark skinned ones are a human slave and her half-goblin children. There's a prequel pic but it's not suitable for tg's tender virgin eyes.

>>44931700
Link?

>>44931752
http://www.elfwood.com/u/andersson2/image/367959c0-2710-11e4-9ecf-d547aae57bd2/goblins-and-orcs-the-trade

Yes.

We did an arc that was less combat focused to deal with the fact that one of the heavy hitters was now 'with-child'.

It was actually a pretty fun arc.

>>44922255
Making babies from gays is likely a doable thing since you can buy clinical immortality in any number of ways in 40k. One of those ways is even listed for sale in the Inquisitor's Handbook.

Shit just ask the admech, they can be bought to do borderline heretical stuff with enough money if it comes to it. Otherwise use political clout and some favors from your position if you need.

>>44922255
>>44933351
Don't they already have cloning and genetic engineering tech? That's really all you need to make gaybabies

>>44933351
>>44933772
The GM was implying such technology to make gay babies doesn't exist, at least that my character would know of. He said though nothing is impossible if pursued properly and thoroughly (and finding the right people). Also my character doesn't have much clout within the Admech, so i'd have to probably money attack with no guarantees it would work.

As for the cloning and genetic engineering, I don't quite think that is how that works. The idea is that the kid is from both parents, not just my character and then modded to be different.

Theoretically, taking the DNA out of one egg and injecting it into another seems simple enough, but the GM has his vision on what tech is and isn't available, so I guess my character will continue to have to take solace in her gf's embrace for now. Also slight drama that her gf doesn't know she wants to have a kid with her. Well, is considering at least. Her gf is an unsanctioned psyker, so a bit of dilemma in that the kid shouldn't be heir to the dynasty she is trying to create. The situation is needless to say, awkward. Finds someone to love but can't have her children risk the future of the dynasty.

>>44933772
Clones have negative luck and are outlawed in the imperium mostly.

>>44934235

female + female = baby is technology we've gotten to work IN REAL LIFE AT PRESENT.

I mean, by 40k they've degraded so much in a lot of departments, so who knows if they would still have it... but it's really not a complicated thing to do, comparatively speaking.

>>44925662
Yes, all is as it should be.

Also note biracial kid and how the biggest one is again pregnant.

>>44934373
Yes but if the DM is a huge neckbeard who cannot into women then HOW DARE GIRLS LOVE GIRLS WHEN THEY WON'T LOVE ME

>>44882773
Not to my character, but to another PC my character was married to. It was one of those games with substantial timeskips between sessions; there was a session where my wife was throwing up every so often and revealed at the end she was pregnant and the next session was a year and a bit later and kicked off with bad guys kidnapping our 6-month old son.

The campaign covered about 25 year when all was said and done and my son was a PC for the last three sessions (played by the same player as my wife after she got killed).

>>44928391
>home-wrecker

Hey if she isn't capable of properly looking after her husband and kids then maybe they deserve someone who can

>>44934373
Given how insane the Imperium's ability to genetically modify people is (see: Space Marines and ranking Inquisitors) I would be incredibly surprised if they couldn't carry out something so simple modern day geneticists can do it.

Now finding the people who have the knowledge and equipment and then convincing them to give a shit and use their immensely valuable time and experience for something pretty pointless and trivial, on the other hand...

File: QxnTM6Z.png (79KB, 220x175px) Image search: [Google]

79KB, 220x175px

>party members were brothers
>one had a staff of change
>got knocked unconscious while "changed"
>got knocked up by said brother

File: Teysa-730x280.png (334KB, 730x280px) Image search: [Google]

334KB, 730x280px

>>44926936
>anything I'm cucking a ghost
I know someone who'd like to have a word with you

>>44936330
Sounds like that guy

>>44928391
i meant girlfriend really. i'm his only partner, but at the same time i'm like an adopted daughter alongside his real daughter too.

>>44938955
So you call him daddy in bed?

>>44883655
This sounds like an interesting campaign.
Any other stories about that halfling?

>>44926029
metal as fuck.

>>44939307
more than i and his daughter act the same in the house and are equals to each other, but he's a father for her and a boyfriend for me.

>>44895646
XKCD can be clever sometimes. Definitely not a masterpiece, but worth a few sensible chuckles

happened in adeva
character was raped at 15 years old
she got ripped apart by an angel
bad times

>>44934373
>>44936274
This is a point I brought up to the GM. But he feels this is a department where they have degraded enough that it isn't just common knowledge.

It isn't so much as >>44934433 is implying as that he wants like >>44936274 states that finding the right people/equipment and getting them to do it is a goal. Although I wouldn't say this is a trival matter. Earning the appreciation of someone with a fleet at their disposal and enough PF to be considered a 'poor' RT is probably a worthy endeavor for whomever that could do this. My character isn't some chump normalfag PC that thinks they are hot shit when they get a fancy gun and a promotion. She hopes to one day earn her own warrant and legitimize the domain she is already carving out.

Love is a strange and wondrously powerful thing and my character would dearly appreciate and remember whomever helped her and her gf.

Played a bard with dozens of half monster kids.

A female bard

Magically accelerated pregnancies helped

Rather standard fare.

>Human Paladin of Sune, deity of sexy things
>Party tasked with taking out some highwaymen led by a Warlock, allegedly has ties to the BBEG
>Go through the routine, best some bandits, get info, find and infiltrate their hideout - an abandoned keep
>Drop the warlock's elite thugs, Warlock runs to the back of the room to perform a pre-prepared ritual
>I charge in and try to break the spell's concentration with a good whack
>Warlock's spell goes off wrong and the two of us are apparently vaporized in an explosion
>Party thinks us dead, make the most of it and gleam some info from in the keep
>I pick one of my other characters to join the party

>Meanwhile DM and I do a short singleplayer on the side to later tie into the party's story and retire the Paladin
>Paladin and Warlock were teleported to a secondary hideout several miles away
>Both of us severely wounded by the screwed up teleportation
>"Warlock" turns out to be a female Elf Wizard, pretty hot
>Spend the next several days expending Lay on Hands to mend our wounds
>Get to know her, enthrallment to the bbeg wore off from near death event, wants to help
>We meet with the party as NPCs and assist in taking down the BBEG

>Sune later pops up in a dream, says "hey you should tap that... oh and do a thing for me"
>Two of us rescue a sole-survivor baby from a destroyed secluded village and wipe out leftover ugly monstrosities left behind by the late big bad
The Paladin, granted an elf-length lifespan by Sune as a gift, settled down with his Elf wife in the countryside with two half-elf kids and an adopted Tiefling son.
And then I gave all the kids stats, have yet to use them in adventures.

>>44939623
>>44887143
I didn't expect people to wanna hear about it. I also didn't know that (You)'s lasted longer than a day.

Well, needless to say, that character didn't live long. She tried to tumble through a ghoul's square and was crit-bit.

But oh my god, that Halfling lived. He was ridiculous. Put all his points into Strength, rode a Battle Beagle, with a Lance. Nothing out of the ordinary for a Battle Halfling. What pushed it beyond the limits was that he was That Guy, personified.

There is a female, I must fuck it. Focused into Intimidation and Intimidation based feats. Used a taunt-like ability to force women to attack him while he hit on them. Then, he'd claim self-defense when he shackled them. He'd bluff and say he'd bring them to the constable but bring them to his home.

Then, while we were off doing Town Quests, he'd be rolling Perform and Use Magic Device. The DM didn't tell us what it was for until after he left the group.

He was using Wand of Charm Person and a forgetting spell, I forget which one.

But yeah, this dude was systematically raping all the women in town before dragging them to jail for assaulting him and they wouldn't remember a thing.

After the first campaign, he kept asking about downtime, how many months before the next adventurer, etc. Now, we're pretty sure he wanted to know when the town was going to get a population boom of hundreds of bastard half-halflings.

He'd pull that shit in combat too. The last time, another player character was nice to mine (when I was still the female character) and he tried to fucking kill the man. The DM called "Nah. Rule 0, 1, and 2. You've broken all of them. You're gone."

Anything intresting to do with a transfer pregnacy spell?