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>A trio of dwarves have been carving fake...
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>A trio of dwarves have been carving fake doors into the walls of dungeons throughout the land, while also scattering keys that open nothing

>A local theater group has been posing as various officials and nobles, sending people on a fake quest in order to advertise their new play "What Do You Know About The Legend of the Green Lightning Wand?"

>A demonic cultist has successfully bred mimics and rust monsters

>A cartographer has started selling realistic but utterly fake maps of mythical locations to nobles, who keep them locked up with their other valuables

>A king keeps promising rewards without consulting the royal treasurer, who out of necessity has started a fluctuating "reward tax" that often sees a return of 50% of what the king promised.

>A bored wizard has started sending dream messages to random people, urging them to go seek a sword hidden deep within a forest that he forgot to put there

>A senile gnome smith has scattered around several dungeons with hilts missing blades, crowns missing gems, chess sets with only half the pieces, and complex devices that don't actually do anything

>The queen is unaware that there is a smaller, but considerably more dangerous castle en route to the castle she knows the princess was taken to.
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>>44701092

I'll take settings full of assholes for 500, Alex.

Also, the cultist who crossbreeds rust monsters with ANYTHING is getting a Smite RIGHT UP THE ASS (barehanded if need be).
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>>44701223 You sound like you'd enjoy a vacation on Acheron.
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>Rambling mad hobo's prophecies are just ramblings of a mad hobo
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>>44701092
Who is this semen demon?
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>>44703531
Awwwww it's adorable
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>>44703916
>>by sheer coincidence, he's right
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>>44701223
It's too late, you fools! We've already started the rust-monster/paladin breeding project, and the results are terrifyingly effective!
>>
These hurt my heart.
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>>44704882
>doesn't know Cestree

Literally the newest of fags. Lurk moar.
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>>44701092
>A trio of dwarves have been carving fake doors into the walls of dungeons throughout the land, while also scattering keys that open nothing

I'm so getting some players together and convincing them we need to be these guys in our next game.
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>>44701092

>the evil goddess is actually three human con artists in a suit
>a succubus falls in love with a paladin but neither of them changes alignment
>the mysterious man in a robe who appears in inns talking about an ancient prophecy is actually just a crazy hobo
>the king promises adventurers a reward to rescue his daughter. They find out he's actually childless and keeps making up fictional children to feel less lonely
>one of the characters discovers he or she is the long-lost heir to a royal bloodline. the bloodline is bankrupt and only own a pigfarm in the countryside
>an ancient artifact is uncovered during an archaeological dig, however it turns out to be a mass-manufactured copy made by industrious gnomes
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>>44701092
>The dwarves and the elves are actually on good terms but pretend to be on bad terms to leverage profit from the other races.

>Tieflings don't actually have any infernal blood in them, they just pretend to because they are simple beast people who don't want the world to bother them.

>The dragon is genuinely interested in your help but thinks that it has to act arrogant to draw your attention to the quest.

>The king's daughter is already happily married and the dragon is just her wizard husband using polymorph.
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>>44707843
>the dragon is just her wizard husband using polymorph.
Kinky.
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>>44707843
Tieflings are furries?
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>>44707922
Yes, and they hate themselves for it so much that they make up infernal ancestors as a less embarrassing alternative.
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>>44707951
...when it was in fact some lonely, sad wizard and a stray sheep.
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>>44708006
I guess dragonborns are just a kobolds, but fit and can into spells.
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>>44708006
Fucking Welshmen.
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>>44707843
>The dwarves and the elves are actually on good terms but pretend to be on bad terms to leverage profit from the other races.

They're just tsundere for each other.
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>>44707813
>one of the characters discovers he or she is the long-lost heir to a royal bloodline. the bloodline is bankrupt and only own a pigfarm in the countryside

That's a really great plot hook.
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>>44708336
>characters become cattle barons, except with pigs
>fighting pig rustlers
>escorting the herd across the wide prairies for slaughter
>singing by campfire and under the moonlight, with a thousand squealing swine
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>>44708371
Okay, you know nothing of raising pigs, and I was thinking more about a game of wheeling and dealing where you and your party do everything they can to raise a noble bloodline back to prominence, up to and including going full agricultural mafia.
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>>44708419
>you know nothing of raising pigs,
That's the beauty part, neither will the characters or most of players either! It can be played out as a comedy as they learn the ropes, or as weird and fanciful pigs-as-cows thing. Funny either way!
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>>44708598
>convincing settlers that what they really need to pull their wagons are a quartet of draft boars
>creating a long-term disinfo campaign about the high quality and output of dairy sows
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>>44708712
>creating a long-term disinfo campaign about the high quality and output of dairy sows
Are you saying you want to create a milkman conspiracy? To obfuscate the true nature of the Milkman? To protect the Milkman at all costs? To destroy all who would harm the Milkman, or threaten to reveal his secret objective?
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>the world is flat, the last expedition that tried to travel around it fell from the edge
>the religion that uses heavily death related symbols isn't evil, they just want to remind people they are going to die and should use their time wisely
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>>44709634
>the religion that uses heavily death related symbols isn't evil, they just want to remind people they are going to die and should use their time wisely

The reported cannibalism is also entirely symbolic, and the hanging corpse used as the centerpiece is only an effigy used to remind the practitioners of sacrifice.
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>In revenge for a slanderous article published in the newly invented "newspaper", a powerful wizard has enchanted all existing copies with Explosive Runes.

>An orcish bard has been uniting various tribes through the power of something they call "death metal". Neighboring Governments and Religious Institutions are observing developments with alarm.

>The mayor has hired a band of moderately civilized kobolds to "clean" and renovate the city's dysfunctional sewer system. The process is being seriously hindered by the local adventurer's guild, who keep sending their newest recruits into the sewers to kill said sanitation workers.

>A new food-fad is sweeping through the nobility. Dire-Boar is apparently, the other, other, OTHER, white meat, and both adventures and overconfident pig-farmers are trying to keep up with the surge in demand

>The rats have all disappeared, but no one aside from a probably-crazy old druid is complaining.

>The local school of arcane arts has vanished from its original location, but has been reported floating in the air over various historical landmarks across the world. No one is quite sure if they need help, or if its just an extended field trip.

>Mad prophet declares unusually colored goat to be the avatar of his obscure god, and orders his cult to serve and protect it, but not restrict its freedom of action or movement in any way. Investigation reveals that goat does in fact have some divine powers, prompting a debate between the local political and religious leaders over whether it's worth breaking the country's "freedom of non-evil religion" laws to deal with all the problem it and its cult have been causing.
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>>44704882
Cestree is 50% tits and 50% game lovin'.
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>>44709634
>isn't evil,
They're certainly creepy as fuck though.
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>>44701092
>A demonic cultist has successfully bred mimics and rust monsters

Why does that sound cute?
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>>44703916
>A demonic pentagram appears in the middle of the city and a Balrog climbs out from the portal between worlds
>He immediately heads for the tavern to get drunk because his wife kicked him out of the demon world
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> that creature from beyond time and space isn't ugly nor malevolent, it just want to frolic in the green fields
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>>44711568
the fuck am I looking at
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>>44715413
an ossuary, an Emu sized, vicious, flightless, bird known for kicking the shit out of people with its sharply spurred claws because it's apparently Maximum Grumpy all of the time...
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Obligatory
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>>44708193
I smiled quite widely.
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>>44709352
The milkman has made his delivery.
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>>44708193

Oh snap.

>>44715723

Gold.

>>44717789

I can't help but break into laughter.
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>>44717789
We really need more tables like these.
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>Bard on the run after accidentally impregnating a royal palace
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>>44701092
That honestly sounds pretty funny. I wouldn't mind going on a journey that doesn't lead to anything and all you do on the way is drink and talk shit.
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>cursed stoneskin scroll actually casts flesh to stone

>cursed stone to flesh scroll actually casts repel stone
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>>44708371
>>44708336
Anon you are dreaming far to small.
That is a dejure claim on the lands of the characters ancestors. Fit for reclaiming from whatever ails the current land.
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>>44719707
I don't think cursed scrolls get anywhere near as much love as they should.
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>>44715723
Idiot. That's a body of water that forms the transition from a river to the sea.
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>>44710158
>A new food-fad is sweeping through the nobility. Dire-Boar is apparently, the other, other, OTHER, white meat, and both adventures and overconfident pig-farmers are trying to keep up with the surge in demand

I like this, I've been having trouble filling out the early-mid level ranges with quests that don't involve yet another dungeon or bandit camp.
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>>44715723
>>44722268
He means a cassowary.
Thread replies: 49
Thread images: 8
Thread DB ID: 406383



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