In the Post-Apocalypse, you lead a cult based around some relic or legend of the past. What is it?
Legend speaks of the highlanders, immortals from the time past. Peerless swordsmen locked in eternal cosmic struggle. We must gather them, and have them speak of time past.
It is the final frontier! The land that our forefathers have always striven for, and they reached it my children, they reached the stars and stood upon the moon! Here is this helmet, it has been in the airless void! The place free of radiation! The promised land!
In the post-apocalypse, only sentient machines are left. I lead a cult based on an old cosmo magazine.
WE MUST FIND THE ONE.
"DO YOU ENJOY PASSIONATE LOVE?"
"NEGATIVE. I WAS NOT PROGRAMMED TO FEEL LOVE."
"HE IS NOT THE ONE. TERMINATE HIM"
Praise be to Ma Deuce, whose voice shall sunder the world. Praise be to the prophet John Browning, who brought her thunder to the deaf race of man.
An amalgamation of religions put together from whatever pages were legible from the holy books in the hotel nightstand. We call him god, and we're pretty sure he's bipolar, so don't piss him off.
Clearly a shinto-like pagan religion loosely based on pokemon
Our missionaries journies far and wide would come to understand the power thats inside all elements of nature.
We will closely watch the behavoir of animals, sum up their actions in a catchy but simple adjective. We would not only use these commands with our innumerable trained animals but shout them as we proformed the tasks ourselves.
YOU AM OF SEEING RIFLE?
YOU SEE OF PERFECTION
RIFLE IS PERFECT
ALWAYS WILL BE
RIFLE DOES NOT OF OBLITERATE CITY
RIFLE DOES NOT OF POISON EARTH AND WATER
RIFLE SIMPLY KILL
A sealed, perfectly preserved bunker full of anime merchandise. Eventually the cult splits into countless fractions waging constant holy war over whose waifu is the best.
Probably some of the Post-Apocalyptic Philip K Dick books.
He's considered a prophet who saw and tried to warn us. Group takes a lot of drugs they can in the hopes of finding the "Ubik" that can free them from the Black Iron Prison. Most of the time a rag-tag group of bearded theosophists will show up and sell you drugs. Well unless they identify you as a Roman, or a Palmer, or a Woman (I'm exaggerating slightly, PKD's female characters weren't all deceptive agents of chaos, destruction, and evil. Some of them were manipulative liars he was quite sympathetic towards.) then it's probably going to be a bad day.
The last American president deserves a cult, obviously. We would aggressively build walls and be belligerent to the people on the other side of them. We would stockpile weapons with no regulation. We would destroy ourselves in one final orgy of violence. God fucking bless the US of A.
An old gas pump.
I hold the nozzle between my legs and pretend it's a penis while giving wild sermons.
Yeah they taste awful to us, but after years of eating shit and other people, the glorious gift of the eternal cake inspires all to conquer another stronghold in the hopes of finding wondrous processed sugars and fats
Hey man, walls can be pretty vicious. A wall nearly bit my bro's face off once overseas.
You build the wall in the middle of "friendly" client kingdoms so if they betray you, you can prevent enemies from coming to their aid. The wall pays for itself though massive tolls for crossing.
And lo he did say that nobody expects the Spanish inquisition
Plants, what else? If you can get anything to grow then you can start rebuilding civilization with a food supply.
It'd be like waterworld where fresh dirt was gold. Green plants would be unheard of. So find a way to grow a fern in a helmet and wear that on my head as I ravage the wastelands for more miracle grow and ceramic pots
Old wind-up clock. The numbers are worn off and replaced incorrectly, the gears have been stripped and new ones added at erratic speeds, too many hands, and the alarm causes nose bleeds. But it tells everyone what time it is for sacrifices.
Freedom, Knowledge, Liberty, and Peace. I think plenty of wastelanders would be attracted to the ideals of Jefferson. + Kickass Colonial Fashion.
Stories of old tell of 2 factions and their eternal struggle.
One red as Blood, Coka-Coala, a veritable titan! Firmly established amongst its kind as strongest and greatest, none could touch its glory without burning to ash. Coka-Coala single handed paved the way for all lesser warriors into Grand Society with itself firmly and rightly at its helm.
One blue as the ice in its veins, PeepSee, a would be usurper. A child to the world of Coka-Coala it wanted the glory and status of Coka-Coala and like a child it wanted this without having to put in the same amount of work. Its very name speaks to the betrayal it perpetrated, attempted stealing of the holy secrets.
This my fellow tribesmen is why we must raid the western camps and take back by force what was stolen from us like our Patriarch.
Coca-Coala revives and sustains us!
Well fuck, I completely forgot the sun is essentially a nuclear reactor. I retract my pick then.
We worship an actual, functioning pick up truck with a gun mounted on it, that we use to smite down those who do not follow our faith.
From the charred remains of a prop warehouse in Hollywood, the Dark Side shall rise once more!
The prophet Michael, son of Jack, who could raise the dead with his music and wielded a magic glove of stars.
My tribe currently worships our totem, the ball sack parrot.
The fffzzzzaahum of a tesla cannon can be heard.
>WHY ARE YOU KILLING US?
>For Dio, the god of lightning, thunder and scythe-clawed dragons. Be honored.
The Goyim cult. Worshippers of an ancient trickster god, who has beset civilization since before time began. The entire purpose of the cult is to gather enough shiny coins to appease the eternal spirit, so that he may never again awaken from his slumber.
For added flavor, the cult headquarters is a holocaust memorial, the ancient site marking a failed attempt to exorcize the spirit from this plane of existence.
Sinks, baths/showers, and hoses.
These three ancient relics use to bring down liquids of life unto all who used them, the more we worshep them one day they might make mirical rain once more.
Both actually. both the atmosphere and ionosphere provide protection.
You guys should see the reports from the voyager probes. Outside of the suns protection, the universe is a fucking hotpot of radiation and energy. Galactic background radiation jumped to about double of what it was experiencing within the heliosphere, which is how they knew that it had left the solar system.
Space is a nasty, deadly, place that is only beautiful so it can lure men to their doom.
The Circle of Dis-Naï revered The Great Mouse as their god in my Apocalypse World campaign. The ones wearing fetish masks of your favorite Disney characters are cannibals, but you really have to be wary for the Tourists. Those guys look like your usual park-goer from the golden age. As in they don't even seem to realise the world ended. And they don't take too kindly to people who try to remind them that.
>In the Post-Apocalypse, you lead a cult based around some relic or legend of the past. What is it?
A desalination plant.
>The Wellspring protects
>The Wellspring nurtures
>The Wellspring unites
Did I ever say I don't want to go anyways?
I just want to make sure people realize that space travel is currently dangerous, boring, and expensive. Too many people have this comfy glorified view of spaceflight thanks to Star Wars and Star Trek and other popular science fiction.
They worship an ancient printer, which is stuck in an error mode and keeps printing out pages filled with error codes. Despite not being able to understand it, the cult interprets this as being a holy gospel, and makes up meanings for the codes as tenets for their people to live by. One fateful day, the printer finally runs out of ink/paper, forcing a few brave cultists to venture into the wastes in search of replacements if they ever hope to hear their god's voice again...
Hah, I wish. No, I'm just a vet going to college to get a degree so he can go work in the aerospace industry and praying that Dr. Harold White isn't crazy and he's actually discovered how to warp space-time.
Super Hero Comics
I spread the concept that Super heroes were real and comics are real stories of the past.
Eventually people will start fighting each other choosing to worship certain super heroes/ super hero teams than others
The tribe uncovers an ancient ruin.
The scribe deciphers it's inscriptions:
It must be the castle of an ancient noble family.
Suddenly the tribe views village idiot Burger in a different light.
The Internet, bringer of knowledge and porn.
Well, there are some pretty strong bible parallels. Comics are self contradicting, written by many different authors with different beliefs and frequently recycle the same plots. They would make great holy books.
don't forget that they depict genocide, murder and people who are assholes
I don't doubt that this shit would still be around somewhere in neo new york
They become even more popular
People who have tasted the twinkie will tell stories about how they have never tasted anything like it before and will never taste anything like it again.
And when those who have tasted it die, the legend of the twinkies flavor will be a huge part of the surviving people and future societies to come
Holy shit, this took me too long to realize.
Legends tell of a man who even in the most dire of circumstances would always overcome the odds, and preached of the three golden virtues, Hustle, Loyalty and Respect.
And his name is John Cena
I ran a campaign with an idea like this. They thought the "founding fathers" were prophets who ascended to God-hood after winning a holy war, and the apyocolypse was their way of smiting America for forsaking their traditions. They would also bleach their hair white and wear it in a ponytail
WWI reenactors. They call their leader the Kaiser, but everyone pronounces it "Caesar".
>not wanting to obliterate cities
>not wanting to poison the earth and air and water
Get on my level, Commie filth.
It is said those who don the Trump's ceremonial headpiece inherit his will.
Young Tobias foolishly put it on his head last year on a dare from his friends. He was found three weeks later at the border between our tribe's grazing lands and the neighboring tribe's, building a wall of cobblestone.
He was completely nude, and covered in orange paint.
>none of the myriad of terrible social media
>4chan still sophisticated instead of being filled with the backwash from reddit, tumblr, etc
>deviantART is even relevant
>youtube is still filled with vitriol spouting assholes in the comment section
2008 was a weird time.
The piñata. It trains us to protect ourselves, even in the dark. It's bright colors represent the promise of a brighter future, and it sacrifices itself so that we may be nourished by food that does not spoil.