>Your Half Orc barbarian party member is offended at you for assuming her mother was the human parent
>Neither are half-elves, because
they come from loving unions
Unless proven otherwise I assume half-elves come from rich 60something human merchants marrying trophy wife elves around their age but looking like girls in their early to mid teens.
My Ranger calmly apologizes for the slight and points out that there are more important things to worry about than petty squabbles like this. There's a lich/evil wizard/necromancer to worry about, after all.
Oh, in that case I'm sorry. Your FATHER was a filthy animal fucker, and you should be commended for . . . well, no, I guess you haven't really overcome your natural inherited urges to being a belligerent beast picking fights to compensate for the dick you don't have to swing around.
Come at me, bro, I'm behind 7 skeletons.
> Implying only Elves think Greenbacks are sub-sapient.
Hey, since you're so discriminating, I happen to have a shaved Chimpanzee that's guaranteed to not only bite less, but also be more unlikely to have the bite get infected since it's diet is cleaner. Has a larger vocabulary than her Orcish mother, as well.
I draw the line at horses though, never know when you might end up with Centaurs and their inability to understand that just because they were raised in a Barn doesn't entitle them to acting like it indoors.
Which is why I don't let them indoors.
Excuse me, I was never a treefucking forest fairy. SOME of us are old enough to remember when we had a proper god that led mankind forth to enlighten the savage races, noble though some individuals may have been, in a manner befitting actual civilized individuals. Now it's all "Pelor this" and "Pelor that".
Zarus is the only proper god, and that damn hippy Pelor needs to shave his beard and stop pretending that universal love means forcing a universal outcome. Damn Elves and Dwarves acting all uppity. Stardusts and Coaldusts we used to call them, the left overs of the more useful elements that still did a damn thing for the world, the rest of the savage races we just called Dust races since they were pretty much the chaff that just seemed to appear in our world dirtying the place up and being a general nuisance. Now everyone acts like Dust has a right to be there, or serves a function besides getting up my nose and pissing me off.
Or passed out at a kegger and woke up with her on top of him Ooga-Boogieing that human dick to try and wrangle some child support payments out of him.
Orcs ARE still a metaphor for black people right?
> The Half-Orc Barber is offended that you think he can't style your long silky hair
Hair gel is the Orclands 3rd largest export I'll have you know. Right after "face paint" and Barbers. We're a proud, sexy people.
I ask her if big, strong women tenderly dominating their men runs in her family.
no talk about human like this. human just as orc as other orc. maybe more small in body and in head.
also read nature-think scrolls of great shaman pls; impossible for orc breed with not orc. therefore human must be orc.
Much like a Magpie, the beast can replicate the sounds of speech but it is revealed to be incomprehensible gibberish. To date, no linguistic analysis has found any sort of actual meaning behind their mimicry of conversation.
>human try speak
>with genitals into orc instead of with mouth or keyboard
"Your offence is meaningless, mutant. Your opinion is obsolete."
>Not wanting sex with something
Tell me another joke!
The size of the mother limits the size of the baby, you uneducated shit. That's why you can have dogs of wildly different sizes breeding without the bitch bursting during the pregnancy.
Well, depends on whether the mother's or the father's genes affects that more. The size of the mother limits, but does not actually boost. Also, food, premature birth and all that play a big part.
But yeah, quite possibly. Although now that I think about it, orcs and other goblinoids are generally portrayed to have many children at once. This tends to mean that the offspring are born small and grow rapidly.
Why would you give her permission for something she does anyway?
>She agrees to take a bath, but as punishment for insulting her heritage she's going to force you to use your tongue to clean her
It does, but you made her quite mad so there's going to be nothing tender about what's about to happen, at least not for tonight
Well, from a mechanical perspective...generally it's accepted that full-blooded orcs are stronger than half-orcs, and their stats will reflect that by giving them a large racial Strength bonus. In D&D 3.5 this was a +4 racial bonus, compared to a +2 for half-orcs.
Since (again, from a mechanical perspective) the main reason to play a half-orc or an orc is to get bigger bonuses towards being a melee fighter, the Orc will probably just generally be a better choice than a Half-Orc - and as a result the half-orc will rarely be played, or at least rarely played in its intended role.
(None of this applies from a fluff perspective, mind; I'm just giving the mechanical reason)
Oh look, another shitty one sentence long memearrow thread with a hypothetical scenario which isn't relevant to anyone's roleplaying, what an inspiring and creative thread this promises to be.
>mother was the majordomo of a lecherous Western lord
>illegitimate half-breed daughter, while raised in modest luxury and afforded a scholarly education, rebels and becomes a barbarian raiding her fathers lands to get his acknowledgement that she is his heir
can this have a happy ending?
>Haste, Strength and shit
>Implying a +4 to str will do shit when it's normally 8 and her's is 18
Best case you'll just keep running it'll be like making her catch a greased pig, she'll just be pissed when she does
Oh I'm so terribly sorry for assumng that a race of primitive, cavedwelling tribes, which sustain themselves by raping, looting and pillaging, impregnated yet another helpless human woman. Right. Because she HAS to be the one in a millon "daddy was human and REALLY loved my ork momma hurrr hurr MUH FEELINGS" ork.
Okay, so maybe this is awkward, but I have to ask: do all orcs have nice tits? I mean, the two or three I've seen, yourself included, had some serious shade-throwing funbags. You look pretty okay yourself, not quite as big as I like, but nice all the same.
So, yeah, about your mom. . . She stacked or what?
>She agrees to take a bath, but as punishment for insulting her heritage she's going to force you to use your tongue to clean her
Is this supposed to be a punishment? I wanted to lick those abs anyway.
... since when can our barbarian read minds? Because although I definitely DID make that assumption I have the discretion not to bring it up. That's more like the other idiots in our party, like our Zarus-worshiping human barbarian.
Seriously, fuck that guy. How'd we even get stuck with him?
>"daddy was human and REALLY loved my ork momma hurrr hurr MUH FEELINGS
Who said anything about love?
Orc chicks rape people too
>All orc chicks are stacked like big, thick, muscular amazons
This is a known fact
Despite how much she'll make you "clean" her abs and tits, hope you enjoy orc booty just as much
>Welp, looks like I'll be swinging through the nearby orc village.
Orc chicks are also just as prone as the males to kidnap, imprison, and rape (possibly to death) attractive males of other races
In fact despite the stereotype, half orcs born of female orcs/male nonorcs are far more common simply because the mother in this pairing is more likely to survive
I'm not sure if Gruumsh looks kindly on rape-killing as he does demand of his followers to procreate. I'd assume that orc males aren't as brutal during the act with non-orc females since their goal is to spread orc blood.
Actually isn't the the female orc god that says BREED?
Though good point, though death by snu snu is probably a lot more common with female orcs if only cause after sex they don't need their partner alive
>Will be smashed under several dozen orc amazon thighs
>So, /fit/ with a huge rack?
>How are there not more half-orcs?
What >>44594027 said, orc females have a habit of not stopping until they're satisfied, and that pretty much gauntness a death by snu snu for non orcs
1. We have ANOTHER Half-Orc Barbarian? AND she looks like THAT?! Praise Gorum!
2. I ASKED if her mom was the human. I ain't assumed nothin. My ma was an Orc, too. Pops was just the one feller strong enough to utilize the counter-rape maneuver against her. Bloodragers, man.
3. I'd like to start talkin' with her about gains, puntin half-elves, and the age-old question of whether two half-orcs juss produce more half-orcs or there's a chance of a full orc or human.
4. If we swing by my village, advise her to watch out if my ma gets in one of those rapin moods of hers. Point out that push comes to shove, hide behind pops and wait till they settle things the usual way.
Yay, this thread is mah fetish
This is basically the backstory for my half-orc paladin.
His father was Lord LaMarque, mid-aristocracy that tended towards the crazy side of things. He was somewhat of a black sheep, enjoying himself with things his more distant family considered frivilous or uncouth; he was a Renaissance man, a scholar, a lover and a fighter, who enjoyed adventuring as much as the next, er, adventurer.
Nobody knows exactly how he got an orc woman pregnant, but he told young Caneth that he enjoyed the challenge and the assets involved. He was just that kind of man - some sort of knight-bard, happy to dip his toes in any pool that interested him. If biology weren't such a factor, he'd probably have more children; mechanics were never an issue for long. And perfectly happy to describe such feats in great detail to his young, recently rediscovered and (afterwards) mildly traumatised son.
Poor Caneth. Growing up different in one orc encampment after another, treated as an oddity by other orcs whom admired his tenacity but disliked his strange behaviour. Supposedly his mother one day told him what little she knew (or could comprehend) of his heritage, and at the age of nine he struck out to seek his father. It took him a year of searching to find him, fleeing fearful folk striking out against the small orc as he begged and stole to survive the streets.
His father was initially flippant and curious, treating him as an oddity, but with little time he recognised the features that were his own within his son and embraced him in characteristic warmth. Now even more of a black sheep due to what his family percieves as "bestiality", Lord LaMarque continues not to give a shit, educating and training his son to be a better class of man.
With honours in his upbringing, at once respected for his family name and shunned for his orcish ancestry, Sir Caneth of LaMarque becomes a paladin and seeks to do his family proud - extended, yes, but primarily his father. He seeks to be a paragon of good.
>Orcs and elves are the same species
>Orcs are the males
>Elves are the females
>They live apart and orcs find and raid elven settlements or snatch elvish travelers
>Elvish settlements cause one set of hormones to be common in the mother's body, orcish settlements cause others to be common due to pheromones emitted by the sexes
>Orcs are reproductively selected based on their physical power and ability to subdue their counterparts and drag them away to their camps and keep them there
>Elves are selected based on their ability to escape back to their settlements or not be captured long term in the first place
>Elves too physically powerful to be caught don't reproduce, so evolution went another direction than physically strong females
>Their recent migration into the continent shared by the other races has caused problems due to a certain "lack of enthusiasm" for their mating practices
>They suck as neighbors
Whoops, that was next to a blue safe image. Curse you non-segregated folders!
>Wood elf barbarian
I guess humans have their wierd rapists too
>proceeds to knock up half the women in the human village we just raided with our bandit gang.
>meanwhile the half-orc chick is getting help from the party wizard who is using charming spells for practice to get the captured men horny enough to fuck a greenskin
Where's the female elves raping male orcs version of this pic?
>Compared to orc women, human women are weak and unable to resist. compared to human women, orc women are foolish and easy to deceive.
"The other children may make fun of you for having a human father, little one, but know that he was a great and powerful warlord that had slain millions with his bare hands."
This reminds me of all those asshole wood elf threads we used to have.
I know the one youre talking about
this aint it
Rolled 10 + 15 (1d20 + 15)
I'm very sorry, my friend: I didn't mean anything by it. The next round of ale is on me, what do you say?
>roll for diplomacy
Female Orcs are so dangerous and temperamental that the common orc preferes to risk his life in the army and raiding human settlements than to spend on day trying to date one of its kind. It's not because they are ugly, it's because they have no chance at fucking it and if they did so, there's no telling if she wouldn't stick his head on a pole the next morning.
Besides, like all orcs, they all go dreamy about beautiful male elves and beautiful human knights and that sort of thing, In fact, most orcs are half-orcs.
>Female Orcs are so dangerous and temperamental
Only one cure for that.
There's the size factor and a genetic factor.
Mules are larger than hinnies because a horse mother has larger womb and doesn't restrict growth.
Ligers (male lion female tiger) are bigger than tigons (the reciprocal cross) and their parents because a female tiger doesn't have female lion's growth inhibitor for the offspring to inherit.
But orc males are more likely to run around breeding other races so you'd see the hybrids born to orc females more rarely even if they were bigger and stronger.
I rewrite reality so that her mother was the human parent. I WON'T ALLOW A MARTIAL VERMIN TO CONTRADICT THE WORDS OF A TRUE WIZARD !
Did you miss the amazon part? Sure, there are some stacked asians. But are there any amazonian stacked asians?
Plus, that was a terrible picture of Hitomi. She's solid fap bait, but that makes her look straight wrecked.
Oh! Oh! I can answer this one!
She's a jap fighting against her nature. You gotta at least give her credit for the physique
This is not exactly true you know, unless we are talking about 5e that came out one year ago tops.
Given that we are talking about DnD, since conversely in other games like, say, Burning Wheel you get to plat as an orc, the question is
>half orc is in the phb
>orc is not
And the answer is pretty simple: orcs are usually seen as a villainous, all evil race, like goblins or duergar, not much more than a walking sack of xp. Furthermore they are usually as dumb as they are strong. Thus they don’t fit the usual heroic party layout and are not found in the main book, usually being introduced in later handbooks.
"eventually stop and admit they're just fucking", I mean.
I knew a couple that was very adamant about being in charge. Also they weren't dating they were just friends with benefits. That also lived together. And had two kids. And were only filling out that paperwork for tax breaks.
If it's what they're into, you can sure as fuck be sure they'll never stop pretending it's outright forced.
Wasn't there a comic about that, where the half-orc girl talks about her tragic past, and the flashback shows it's just her being grossed out as a kid at how lovey-dovey her parents were all the time?
wow. without any other context that looks like that little orc is about to be pedophiled en-masse.
some might even call it "shotacon"
>Shotacon woudl've made for a very different MGS
I would keep teasing her and poking at her until she finally attacks me. I would also hope she doesn't realize I'm an extreme masochist that enjoys her beating the shit out of me.
>This little piggy came home with us.
>And then we came.
>And then he came.
>And then we came again.
>It's very deep elf stuff. Hundreds of years of learning required. You wouldn't understand.
I really don't please explain in more detail
Two words: Magic jar.
If you can't beat her with your own body, just steal one that is superior to her in every way. There is nothing that a Tier 4 can do that a Tier 1 (given adequate preparation time) can't do better. It's called caster edition for a reason.
You know, I always thought that it would make a lot of sense in a sorta-generic D&D setting that half orcs eventually become a self-contained species. Not to say half orcs aren't born the 'usual' way, just that down the line they end up forming their own tribes. I imagine these 'half orc' wouldn't necessarily be purely 50/50, since there would still be some mingling with humans or even other orcs, but generally speaking they would be on the whole neither human-dominant or orc-dominant.
I imagine the added intelligence of their human side (and not looking as monstrous) mean they would have an easier time trading with other races and organizing into a functionnal society that isn't just beating each others and killing stuff.
Cast Magic Jar in a demiplane that is timeless with respect to magic. By RAW: "If a plane is timeless with respect to
magic, any spell cast with a noninstantaneous duration is
permanent until dispelled". It depends on your GM whether it's allowed or not since it's unclear where the the spell is localized and it's duration calculated; where your body and the jar (the focus of the spell) is or where your soul and the new body are. A reasonable GM might rule that the spell is spread out in space and the shortest duration applies, or he might not care since timeless demiplanes are 9th level spell material and at that point breaking the game in other easier ways is trivial.
Are you implying human males can't rape orc females?
He has the strength of 20 men.
Because he ate them all.
That said, human beings can naturally get pretty gigantic. And the Mountain's actor is only 6'9. The guy who played Rictus Erectus is 7'0
I always go out of my way when playing a half-orc race to say how in my backstory the parents (usually female orc, male other) love each other and are still together.
My group still hasn't caught on that it is my magical realm.
Well it's 50/50 so it's not much of a blip on the fetish radar. If you had your character actually be something like 45% orc, and establish a family tree of various female orc/male human, female half orc/male human, female orc/sixteenth orc human male I would quietly catch you. If you eschewed subtlety and slipped in a "Oh did you know character is married to a female orc," I would have you drawn and quartered. Oh, well, not really, I like it too. But at least I have the good sense to leave the amazons at home when I come up to the table.
Well of course not, an orc regens their hymen and you need to make a DC39 STR check to penetrate it - which puts it out of reach of a human male and their inferior -2 STR compared to half-orc women.
Nah, my Half Orc Barbarian has mentioned on multiple occasions that his father was human
When asked if his father was a warrior, he flashed back to his mothers stories of how she captured his father and used him as her "Toy" and then replied "Well... He was a trooper..."
This seems like a thread to ask. Anyone got some good female orc art that isn't cheesecake or porn?
Something I could use for an actual character.
Depends, do you wanna play a witch, who uses a shield.
Uteri don't work that way either!
Nevermind the fact that unless you're Ron Jeremey or an anime character, you aren't going to be hitting the uterus, you don't need to penetrate it in the first place.
Well, in my DnD setting Orcs are basically neutral because The Norse Pantheon Migrated to the realm and basically kicked out alot of the DnD Deities.
Thor took the Orcs as his own kind, so alot of Orcs are actually barbaric do-gooders and Half Orcs are probably as common as Half Elves because of this.
I actually found my writeup for this--I thought I'd lost it long ago! Long story short, I needed a way to get a noble family trait for a half-orc in an unfortunately-short-lived Kingmaker campaign. Damn if I wasn't going to be the half-orc king of the party's kingdom!
Belgrim was born to Nefin Lebeda, the eldest son of an obscure branch of House Lebeda. Nefin was always considered odd and degenerate by his family, so when he left his family's holdings in his youth and returned three years later with a halfbreed toddler, the common reaction was more of disapproval than surprise. Still, even though he never spoke of Belgrim's mother, Nefin claimed that the boy was his. As much as his kin protested, they had to grudgingly admit that Belgrim had much of Nefin's looks to him.
Nefin's attentions were soon drawn away by other women and other distractions, and Belgrim was left to the care of the family's servants, who treated him with little less suspicion than his family did. But as he grew up, Belgrim's personality began to make up for the shortcomings of his heritage. Despite the distrust and prejudice of those who raised him, he became an outgoing and friendly boy. His charm and persuasiveness won over first his caretakers, and then most of his immediate family, who eventually accepted him as worthy to bear his father's name. (Nefin's inability to father any children with any of the multitude of women he'd had relations with certainly helped with the acceptance as well.)
Even with acceptance from his family, Belgrim realized that acceptance from the greater part of House Lebeda was not likely, and his branch was growing increasingly impoverished. (Nefin's lifestyle was not helping here, either.) Taking matters into his own hands, Belgrim has set out to seek fame and fortune by himself, to prove his worth to those who scorn him and to maintain and restore his family's wealth.
Can you laugh while being brutally murdered??
Got a few on mobile
Might have more on my pc, but itll have to do for now
Give here some
Now she is a full orc and I have carefully avoided that awkward situation and if she gets pissed I will give her some
Change alignment to lawful good so she can't do shit about it.
What are you angry about half-breed?
Only us full-blooded orcs are worthy of honoring our kin, your heritage only offends the spirits.
You want your family counted among our kin? Then prove it. Offer the spirits only your best deed, and they may forgive you.
Hey. Hey Groc-groc, or Uthak or whatever your damn name is. How many times have I told you not to talk to the house staff?
You move heavy things, sleep in the mud, and wear a pain collar.
She looks pretty, sleeps in my bed, and wears . . . a different kind of collar.
Now stop fucking around, I have guests coming by later and I want the grounds to look immaculate.
>"...wait, wait wait, hold up lass, let me get a better look at ya'. Hmmm. Your mother, were she about so tall? Green eyes, had a scar right around here? Favoured 'er left leg, like? Spent about five years with the White Talon Sellswords? Went across the Brass Sea to the Marrows and back? Anyone ever used to call her Scratch?"
>" ...jus' a guess, lass, but that would make you, what was it... about twenty three winters?"
>"Well, bugger me."
>Does your mother still hang out at dockside bars?
>Lass, do you play baseball?
actually, by the time we've finished eradicating planets, the cosmic dust from the old planets we destroyed will have coalesced and formed new worlds to blow up.
Isn't the universe beautiful?
That's cute, the elf thinks it can actually best humans in anything but being a faggot.
There is literally nothing wrong with being racist against some subhuman spawn that proclaims itself as Man's enemy. There is to be no mercy, no hesitation, their kind has to be removed from the face of the earth.
Now make like a tree and hang yourself.
Good one Anon.
In my setting I've gone more chaotic neutral with orcs. They're impulsive, and have some temper issues, sure. But after all the bones are set and the shattered pottery picked up, everyone is immediately friends again. They nearly completely lack tendencies for narcissism or sadism that are typical causes of evil in humans.
They're plains-dwelling nomad types. The lightly wooded edges host frontier type villages of the neighboring human kingdom. Being poor and honest type folks, if you ignore the green skin, orcs are basically just what any man or woman wants: the kind of solid, beefy individual that looks like they could take over the plow when the ox keels over. Particularly when hunting's thin, orcs get tempted by the idea of settling down with a tender and pink lover with a stable farm; when drought's on the land, human kids start to dream of migrating with a tribe to follow water wherever.
Of course, even without rape there are plenty of problems.
To an orc, even the nicest half-human is too clever by half, and always seems to be scheming (aka, making plans for the future), or looking for some kind of weirdo revenge for something nobody cares about anymore (that happened literally yesterday come on).
To humans, a half-orc is a slow thinker and prone to bestial rage at the drop of a hat.
I like to play up contrast of this position, hated by both sides, with half-elves, that are basically darlings of their parent races, and accepted by both for different reasons.
i know we've all got our dicks out for this thread but this actually gives me a really cool idea for an undead creature. Can you imagine a dry and gray walking tree with a beautiful but wrathful corpse hanging from its branches?
Actually, if we assume the origins for most instances of the modern orc are with Tolkien, orcs are basically chavs.
Like, whatever the lower-class, filthy, belligerent british scumbag trash was called, around his time period. That was the sort he was thinking of.
>if we assume the origins for most instances of the modern orc are with Tolkien, orcs are basically chavs.
that spoke Turkish and were the fanatic soldiers of a mysterious foreign monarch
Trip on your sword if you're so offended, fuckface. Blah. Nobody even bothers you, we have a nice little company robbin' and pillagin' fools - just split loot evenly and don't steal shit from the gang, easy enough, no? We can all walk out of it much richer with no conflict.
But nooo, it has to be "Muh ancestors!" this and "Halfblood pride!" that and "He looked at me funnily he hates half-orcs!" up our best chance for ransom! And now we've come to a whole new level of self-delusion.
Getting real tired of your shit, bitch.
by the time you make a full sweep of the entire galaxy, yes.
>ywn meet a half-orc woman raised in an orcish village
>ywn agree to travel with her and be her guide in human lands when she expresses curiosity about her human heritage
>ywn cover for her when she commits asocial faux pas like walking around without a shirt in public
>ywn introduce her to all sorts of human foods, customs, songs, clothing, stories
>ywn patiently answer her every question to the best of your ability
>ywn make her mad when you make the OPs assumption
>ywn will never apologize to her and promise to be more conscientious
>ywn see her emotional floodgates oprn and be a sympathetic ear and shoulder to cry on when she opens up about being the only half-orc in the village, and without a father
>she will never awkwardly try to kiss you during the reconciliation
>ywn tell her to save that for when she's feeling better, and tell her to get some rest for tomorrow
>ywn diffuse her sheepishness the next day by telling her there's no pressure to figure out her feelings right now, and she can pretend that nothing happened if she wants
>ywn tell her about your own past over the course of the next week and tell her you've greatly enjoyed your time with her
>ywn watcher her become more and more agitated as she agonizes about whether she should tell you about her feelings
>ywn sit her down and tell her its obvious how she feels, and move in to kiss her before she can change the subject
>ywn be pulled into a wild night of orcess on human sex
>ywn reassure her that you won't abandon her when you two are completely drained
>ywn tease her about learning human courtship customs
>ywn take her on romantic horse rides, candlelit dinners, give her flowers and other gifts, sing her songs (badly), tell her all the ways you love her
>ywn get into arguments, and work through your differences with strong communication, strengthening your bond
>ywn start learning orcish and about orc culture with her help
>ywn have her strip in front of you and have her flex her muscles
>ywn run your fingers through her hairy bush, teasing her labia, only to move your fingers upward through her treasure trail, tickling her bellybutton and starting a nude tickle fight (you always lose)
>ywn spread her hairy lips apart, then plunge your tongue in without warning and here her squeal in unexpected pleasure
>ywn hear her ask why you started licking such a dirty place
>ywn watch her dark green asshole bounce up and down as she rides your dick
>ywn see the contrast between your white cum and her green skin after cumming all over he back, ass, stomach, breasts, or face
>ywn see her grossed out face when she puts it in her mouth, then forcibly kisses you to give you a taste of your own medicine
>ywn sniff and lick her sweaty, hairy armpits after you ask her to do several chores on a very hot day
>ywn sample the sweat of each part of her body, finally tasting the ambrosia that has collected near her groin and her ass crack
>ywn stand next to her in public, then grasp one of her ass cheeks and here her gasp
>ywn wait until she asks what you're doing, then move your middle finger between the cheeks and start pressing the tip of your finger against her asshole through her pants and whispering what you're going to do to her tonight
>ywn ask her if she has any interests of her own, knowing she can be shy initially
>ywn hear her ask if she can watch you piss
>ywn indulge her as she watches you pee through her fingers
>ywn see her interest escalate to watching mere inches away, to peeing on her face directly, to drinking your pee straight from the source
>ywn do a thousand disgusting, arousing things with her
>finally, ywn be lawfully wedded to her in a simple, chaste ceremony
Maybe it could be a undead/evil Tree creature that uses illusion spells and methods as well as tricking people to help a gasping woman from being hanged or maybe have her swing around like a tire swing, and then it trys to strangle the peoples who come to her rescue and add there bodies to its hanging collection
My half-orc Sorcerer is the bastard of a human warlord who acquired tribe of orcs as minions. Mating with their females was just part of establishing dominance.