My favourite cleric that I've ever encountered was a kindly, bellowing old dwarf, who wore woolly jumpers, smoked a pipe and told terrible jokes dripping with puns. He was the group dad, despite being about the middle of the range for party age.
>>44577983 >>44579155 Even better is playing a stealth-healslut; each of the other PCs think they're the only one getting laid by some cute priestess or cleric and don't tell the others, and in the open (and one-on-one with the GM) you play a perfectly normal and chaste character, but you're secretly ERPing with each of the other party members and sucking off their players. It's pretty fun, not having a car. You have to stay the night at whoever's hosting the game while everyone else goes home, so you can just go wild and give blowjobs and handjobs until morning.
>>44579575 In-person only, anon. It's no good to just typefuck at people unless you also know that you're getting a nice, thick load sometime later in the week down your throat or oozing down your fingers.
>>44573683 I wish I could add some character to the way I play my first D&D character and second character but for the most part I'm just in the party because the team needs a healer. So far I’ve had mixed experiences playing a cleric. First campaign kinda had my character bland and kept undeveloped for certain reasons but story and interactions my friends had was interesting to keep me in the campaign even though I probably there several disappointment along the way. Over all I’m still technically new to the game.
Long story feel free to skip it.
>First ever D&D campaign >Play on roll20 and skype with online friends. >I originally wanted to be a rogue but they already had one. >When I asked what they didn't have they said they didn't have a healer so that's what I got to play. >Came up with a who gives a fuck name at first because I had no idea how to play D&D let alone a cleric type of character. >Later on get inspired and write a backstory for him and start to try and give him some traits I would have used for the rogue I had in mind. >Warlock character gives me shit for it left and right even though I worship a chaotic neutral god. >All I’m doing is not acting like a saint and searching abandoned boxes and piles of rocks.
>Character finds a love interest at level 5. >DM makes the love interest a level 17 fighter and pretty much guarantees no way in hell she could help out in side missions for balance sake for the beginning of the campaign. >Leave her and a few other character’s love interests to guard the castle we liberated.
>>44580695 >DM makes a side quest around level 6 which would require the party help the mermaid get back to the ocean. >Character decides to help a mermaid find her way back to the ocean. >Wanted to carry the mermaid in my handy haver sack by filling it with water but was forced to buy a cart and donkey. >DM basically tries to write the donkey and mermaid out of the campaign by just hoping we forget about them and never included their presence in the story what so ever after their introduction. >Mermaid and Donkey are with us nearly the entire campaign. >DM has given other players in the party side characters to play along with their original characters. >One’s a warforge “beerforge” and another is a xorn. >Character is level 11 now. >Campaign has lasted for months. >Ask DM if I can make the mermaid into a support character because writing her out of the campaign seems like a waste and maybe we could do something interesting story wise. >DM says no because of balance issues. >Mermaid would be a level adjustment +1, it’ll be half the level of everyone else. >Say it’s not a threat to game balance. >I’m the only combat healer to a 9 character team and the only rogue in the party has to leave early for work the next day or doesn’t show up at all so if we’re in a dungeon without him we’re fucked. >Either one would have worked. >Dm says no.
>>44580704 >Got a favor from an alien in a previous session decide to call him and have him take the mermaid to the ocean since DM doesn’t want to do anything with the side quest he created. >DM gets angry and won’t let me do it. >DM doesn’t want me to do it because it’s a waste of a favor. >Tells me if I’m going to waste the favor to give the summoning whistle to someone else. >Remind him that I was the only one who bothered to help the alien fix the ship so the alien probably wouldn’t help the others if they blew it. >DM gets angry and cuts mermaid from campaign. >I shoe horn returning her to ocean when an opportunity arises while we fly in an air vehicle later on.
>DM tells me to design a map for my character’s home town and some side quests we could do inside it. >Get excited that we’ll finally have room to expand my character’s backstory. >Design map and think up quests and write and make rules for possible games that the optional entertainment district might have. >Go a little over board making content but make it clear everything I send to him can be removed for flexibility. >Purposely leave a lot of wiggle room so he can make the town however he wants it. >Dm cuts the entire thing from the campaign and only uses a section of the town for a boss battle. >Party gets no loot. >Boss falls in cavern and explodes caving in the mines to making sure we can’t explore them at all. >DM transports us back to the previous city and says we never return there again in the campaign.
>>44580717 >DM offers to role play one on one with me after the session since he cut my character’s background out completely. >Says depending on my actions I may get some special stuff out of this. >Start role playing through text on skype. >Towns people are happy and are praising me as a local hero. >They say that they are eternally grateful and if there is anything at all I may need to only ask. >Ask if the blacksmith can give me an armor enhancement I’ve been saving up for a while. >DM says the towns people turn down my offer and ask me for something else they can actually afford. >Town is a rich mining town and nearly everyone is wealthy to a degree. >Character’s father is head of a mining guild. >They damn well got the money to spare. >Instead they ask if I would rather have extravagant food instead. >Feel kinda pissy at this response but don’t give the DM shit about it. >My character bought a ring of sustenance so he didn’t have to eat while he reserved spell slots to feed the donkey and mermaid. >Character hasn’t eaten in months. >He didn’t need food. >Mines have caved in so searching for gems is out. >Towns people are false smiling penny pinchers who won’t pay the party anything for saving their lives. >Dialogue goes on for a while with the towns people but it’s very clear I’m not going to get anything worth my time with this extra roleplay. >Each campaign is around 6 hours long.
>>44580726 >I don’t feel like roleplaying anymore. >I say well if they don’t have anything else they need me for I’m heading back to the other town to return to the party. >All of a sudden the DM has my character’s mentor appear. >The person that was the main reason my character set off to gain experience so he could join the higher ranks of the acolytes. >Finally think something might happen. >he asks me if the rumors about me saving the city are true. > I say yes. >Then I wait for a response. >DM Doesn’t tell me out of character he’s busy. >Doesn’t say hold on a sec. >Get no response what so ever. >Skype says he isn’t even typing. >Wait a while longer with no activity. >Just type that my character says it was nice seeing him again and leaves to the next town. >Sign out of skype. >Don’t know how long it took him to make another response after I signed out but DM got pissy because I chose to leave. >Ask him why he left me hanging in the middle of the character role play. >Tells me he had to jack off.
>>44580734 >Near the end of the session DM offers to let party recruit his super powerful town guard that can deal literally 1d1000 damage in one attack for the final dungeon.(he told us the character’s damage rolls) >DM refuses to let us recruit the 17 fighter love interest even though she's only 3 levels higher than the party and she has an actual reason to help the party compared to some random guy who just stands in front of a town gate. >We turn down his offer and fight the enemies ourselves. >Party ends up fighting a middle boss in the final dungeon. >The battle is long. >The battle is brutal. >Party members almost get killed several times. >I do my damnedest to keep everyone alive. >Party beats the boss and I managed to keep everyone from dying. >Had a hard battle but the group over all was happy with the fight. >Rules lawyer asks a few questions about the boss and the DM shows the character sheet. >The rules lawyer flips for a second. >Turns out the DM made a mistake. >he thought he made a level 18 character from that boss’ class but he accidently gave him stats of a level 24 character to fight our 14th level characters.
>group is talking about a future campaign. >I get interested and want to not be the fucking heal stick for a change. >DM criticizes that my current character is bland and emotionless. >Says I need to role play more and show some form of emotion when I play. >Kinda hard to be enthusiastic when everything the character tries to do besides being a heal stick gets cut the fuck out of the campaign or ruled out.
>>44580743 >Over Christmas the DM gets depressed and starts acting up against other people in the skype group and several of the people don’t want to talk to him. >Now the current game is keep getting delayed because of his behaviors and later because of scheduling problems. >I want the campaign to finish since we’re literally just one or two sessions away for it to be over. >Even though this green text makes it sound like a crappy situation, the story and characters have been fun and memorable. >I do like playing the game. >While several things have disappointing for me, I have enjoyed playing with my friends. >I just want everyone to get along so we can play the game and see the end of this story.
>Second Role play. >D&D 5th edition as a cleric since that’s all I’ve ever played so far. >Join a game on roll20 that the DM wants to recruit interesting character ideas. >get accepted. >Low point buy system makes mediocre stat distribution. >Make a skill based cleric. >Game starts. >The DM is actually pretty good but the party is awful. >I’m the only one who wants to role play. >Rest of the party doesn’t role play at all and just wants to fight monsters except for the rogue. >The rogue likes to stealth. >When they’re not in combat they speak distantly and unenthusiastic like the DM is trying to get their attention from staring at their phones. >Try to spice things up and talk in character to the other players >Don’t want to be a bland character like my last and want to get experience role playing differently. >One guy makes it clear that I should shut up and just heal the party when I need to. >Says everybody has their role. >Says I’m just a fucking heal stick. >I’m the only healer in the party again. >Bail on the campaign.
I think it’s going to be a while before I decide to play a cleric again.
>>44580754 That sounds too bad, anon. I've found the best way to have good games on roll20 is just avoid D&D. I've had several awesome FF 40k campaigns, and some fun FATE stuff. I'm hoping this upcoming WtA game is good too. I'm worried the GM has lost interest though.
I did the "old badass who left all that behind him" bit once with an npc when I was DM. Was thoroughly fun, very cowboy inspired too. They party liked him but it took them a minute to process that in spite of being a priest he had no "character levels" and couldn't cast them any healing spells.
>>44573683 Depends on the deity. Last cleric I played was worshiping the god of magic and deception. He pretended to be a wizard and manipulated an entire country into starting a war. We had six adventuring parties and dozens of bounty hunters after our heads. When he was finally confronted, the roguish bounty hunter took his "spellbook", "component pouch" and "bonded object".
I laughed and disintegrated everyone in that room, still laughing. Because laughing was my verbal component for every spell.
>>44573683 Atheist cleric when the DM lets me get away with it.
>Look, I'm just saying, the difference between our wizard and your god only comes down to the scale at which they can raise a mountain. >Surprisingly, the more my faith taught me the harder it was to believe it. >Yes, I pray every morning for healing magic, but it is just as likely that "god" gives it to me as it is that some outsiders have a secret agenda that requires me keeping you alive.
>>44573683 The optimistic fanatic, the kind of person where everything is a sign, blessing, or test from the Gods leading him and his band of merry companions on the road to victory, the kind of person who is really just AOK with the idea that their entire life is preordained by higher powers and makes the most out of his encounters.
>>44573725 >>44581556 >Humancentric zealot cleric of Zarus >Gets shanghaied by an all female party of orcs, gnolls, and other monstrous humanoids much higher level than he is >In between being forced to heal them they take turns groping, molesting, and raping him, only letting him have any relief when he submits and acknowledges his place >Despite his great hate for non humans they slowly wear him down, molding him into the perfect subby healslut >By the time he falls out of grace with Zarus he's been fully converted into worshiping the superiority of their monstrous and sexy bodies and is now so fanatically devoted to his place as their bitch that he gets healing spells for it
>>44586395 Never DM'd before, am horrible at making up characters, and honestly I'd prefer to play a subby healbitch too
That said, I wouldn't mind doing it but I'd rather have someone else to DM, Maybe for the time being we should post something on /soc/'s ERP thread like >>44586424 suggested or try to connect through f-list and see if anyone in one of the /tg/ groups would be up for DMing it If we can't find anyone, I'll think about it
>>44586604 >Raith the Polar Bear on f-list brother. Note me or something. We can be subby heal bitches together. In a bit, I'll be on my work computer for a few more hours and I'm not logging onto F-list in that time
>>44580754 If someone gives you shit for being the only healer don't heal them. You are in a position of privilege and power where you get to decide if the character lives or dies. If you want to be an ass, prepare an inflict light wounds so you can stealthily kill him when he's bleeding out. Hell, I'm practically forcing some minor
>>44586771 Honestly, I feel like this applies to the entire party. Whatever reason you're running around with these guys, fighting and nearly drying beside each other, you should at least pretend to have some respect for them.
>>44586714 He's making it up, as evidenced by the glaring plot holes in his little fantasy. Such as >if he has no car, how does he get there? >if he buns a ride there, then why is that ride suddenly unavailable for the trip back? >if he's openly known as the table bicycle, why wouldn't his chauffeur monopolize that bootay? His gas his ass, after all. >do you honestly think that that faggot is hot enough "girl" that a bunch of awkward nerds wouldn't mind sharing "her" without any sort of jealously or weirdness arising? >implying he's even a girl at all, or even a moderately attractive guy I bet you think Old Man Henderson is nonfiction, too.
>>44586808 Because it's not hot if it's the lady version of an unkept dude, trying to be a dudebro because she isn't attractive enough to get any attention from guys with more "normal" hobbies, and she's not interesting enough for "normal" girls to want to be friends with her.
I like being a bible-thumper. As in, literally carrying a big holy book around and quoting it for stuff. I have a bigass red leather bible my father gave me, and the feeling of tapping your finger on it and saying "Listen, infidel," and then going on a rabid religious tirade against X is literally the most satisfying thing ever. I would bring the book to sessions, so that I could produce that beautiful thumping sound, but I had a smaller notebook nearby that had my situation quotes in it.
>>44587294 Because I'm not gay, and it being a slutty gay guy is even less appealing than it being a girl who's slutty to compensate for being ugly and boring because that's the only way she knows how to keep anyone her friend.
>>44580754 Healers aren't even a requirement in 5e. They're relatively ineffective. As long as nobody's down yet, damage prevention is far better.
If you get told you need to make someone who can heal, make a paladin next time. Or make a druid with a level in life cleric. Give your party some 4hp goodberries, t ell them to deal with it themselves.
>>44586808 If this really happened at all, there's no way she was hot. This is archetypal behavior of the fat chick who thinks she's hot because she surrounds herself with boys who are as desperate as she is ugly.
>>44590968 A quick googling of "why do clerics use maces" and it turns out I was somewhat wrong, >According to a regular in Gygax and Arneson's early Blackmoor and Greyhawk games, the cleric was largely draw from the priests in 70s vampire movies, with the prohibition against edged weapons inspired by legends and fantasy fiction So basically a mix of them being based off of 70s movies and Gygax's interpretations of old legends
>>44591014 The fantasy is the PCs doing it, not the players
Seriously clerics are my favorite class to play, but every one I've managed to RP so far has been a radically different character, from an evil dwarf barbarian warlord cleric of Kostchtchie to a classical god-bothering party mom cleric of a sun deity.
I do try to RP and worldbuild theology and ritual as much as possible. I dislike playing clerics as "wizards with a deity on their character sheet", if I'm playing a cleric you can bet my character is going to spend a decent amount of time performing rituals, administering places of worship, proselytizing and such. My favorite is taking a rather obscure deity with little information about their cult like Red Knight or demon lords and worldbuilding a coherent religion around them.
Shame on me for bumping a stealth LE EPIC HEALSLUT MEME XD thread by responding seriously.
>>44573683 >Heal your chucklefuck teammates >Apply fire to heretics, mutants and other nuisances >Take shittons of combat drugs, become incredible hulk >Peddle morphine to apocalyptics because your chucklefuck teammates managed to lose their gear again
>>44573683 The last Cleric I played was an overzealous follower of Torm who was really into smiting evildoers and finding evil where they sometimes wasn't any. It was fun, and I served as more of a comic relief than an actual murder hobo off his leash.
>>44591733 You do realize that 5e, 3.5 and especially Pathfinder make up for a staggering majority of RPGs played, right? And furthermore, you're posting in a thread about a game that involves a role, class, or otherwise uses the word "Cleric", further narrowing down the list of options?
Besides, PF's great if you bother to know the system, though probably not great for those who don't bother to learn it.
>>44573683 Ex military medic turned mercenary adventurer due to circumstances. Usually quite a drunkard, but otherwise likes to throw out dirty jokes. >bard uses thunderous clap, and knocksout the bandits attacking us. >Now thats what I call the Clap!
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