Warhammer Pic

>>34168653
Thank you!
In thanks, here's an old 40k joke:

A dreadnought and a sentinel are walking together after a battle when the sentinel pilots says, "Dude, open-topped? AV10? 2 Hull Points? This thing's a walking coffin!"
"FUCK. YOU." says the dread before stomping off.

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>>34168907

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Anyone out there lurking?

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No idea if this is related to the Elysium Drop Troops, but I can definitely see it.

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Request from >>34169410

>>34169604
Thanks dude

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>>34170020
No problem.

>>34169898
Damn. Just... Damn.

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You know, at first I was thinking that you could trace my archives by seeing the filenames, but now I'm wondering if my unbroken stream would allow someone to psychoanalyse the way I think.

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>>34169420
Yes.

All I have to contribute is this.

Lurker here, shit's great. Nothing to contribute. Sorry.

>>34170292
I'd be willing to write that story...

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>>34170386
>>34170292
It's OK, it's Saturday tomorrow so I can stay awhile and keep dumping.

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>>34170410

Something a bit more productive for the people of /vg/ would be a slashfic between Redigit and Tiyuri.

Developers of Terraria and Starbound, respectively. Some have pitched their relationship as some Star Wars Ep 3 shit, what with Tiy being a massive fuckup and Red being a better developer all-around.

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I'd like to dedicate this repost to Brad, a player in my group who cannot play a normal fucking character.

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Hooray, other people are here!

>>34170691
How was he able to change sheets?

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>>34171166

DM okay'd it beforehand.

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>>34171166
He spoke with the DM and arranged it beforehand.

I'm guessing either he didn't use any powers that were distinctly fighter (to make the fact that he was a rogue/paladin in disguise palatable) or they just decided fuck the rules, this is fun.

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>>34171241

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...And this is the last one from OP. Thank you for contributing, fa/tg/uys; I leave the thread in your hands. Remember...

>>34169114
I really want a DA version of this.

>>34169604
Holy fuck my sides. I would of paid to be there to see this.

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Anybody out there?

>>34172163
Yea, I'm lurking
Always am, always will be, but I never save anything so it's always a surprise to read it again

>>34172163
Lurking.

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>>34172277
>>34172284

Awesome, because I'm running out of /tg/ material.

>>34169898
Reading this then reading Love and Krieg again gave me a whole new appreciation on the "humanizing" of Kriegers

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>>34172005
this one reminds me of pic related

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>>34173306

Your post gave me cancer.

Lurker here, thanks for the read

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>>34173579

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>>34173607

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>>34173682

>>34173711
W-what happens next?

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>>34174196

I DON'T KNOW

Bastard never finished it, and I've been hunting for him ever since.

Ethics question:

Is it okay to post greentext story that you completely made up, provided that it is believable and entertaining?

If so, is it ethical to screencap and repost the story yourself a few times until it takes off?

>>34175441
It's dicks to do so.

>>34175441

That's basically how writefags without a cult of personality on suptg get their stories out there, yeah.

It's generally not discussed, though.

>>34175441
Of course and of course. Did you really think any of these were actual stories?

>>34175496
Meant to say factual, of course they're actual stories. I just read them.

>>34174196
>>34174250
It's meta, really. The tale is of a party who lost a member to the loss of his puppetmaster, and set out on a quest to find him.

The writer spun a tale, got us attached to the characters and wishing for the end, and then vanished. Sound familiar?

It's a story of loss; resolution by the original author is not possible. Just like your Aerith, just like your *Mute, their creative god has deemed their death a necessity, as the story loses some of its impact without it.

If you wish for a conclusion, it will only come via exertion of your own.

You've felt the pain the characters have felt for over a year, yet what have you done to remedy it?

You do not quest to find whatever vessel Belfast Connard inhabits here, to learn of the methods required to contact the original author's muses.

You do not try and gather your own muses and give the tale's end a shot yourself.

Nay, I say you don't like the characters enough to deserve an ending.

And they called ME mad! Putting up with desires that long and doing nothing about it- if that's not madness, I know not what is.

>>34175441
You forget that you're on the internet, /tg/ specifically.

Any story you tell is always a roleplay. Be it as the narrator, be it as the character who has had these events happen to them. Even when the events really did happen, it's still a roleplaying experience, as you're roleplaying yourself.

And you, sir, just shattered the masquerade.

Nice job fucking up my immersion.

I bet you blindly kick the dead bodies of your assailants into the abyss after finding they had a locket with a loved one's picture in it, rather than preserving them and keeping said body in a bag of holding with the intent of finding the loved one when you have the chance and delivering the body to her.

Dick.

>>34168653
Back around the year 30.000, there was this dude. He was huge. Like, 10 feet tall. He was a combination of Conan the Barbarian and Jesus, and he could do magic. He also wore so much gold that it makes Mr. T look Amish in comparison. Back then, Earth (or Terra, as they call it) was a bit of a hellhole. Think a combination of Fist of the North Star and Terminator. Then this dude came along, kicked everyone in the nuts and united them under the Imperium of Man, with him as its Emperor.

So the Emperor (or Emprah, or GEOM) wanted to find all humans across the galaxy and unite humanity into an empire that would prosper in this unforgiving universe. But because he could not be everywhere at once, he cloned himself 20 times, called the kids Primarchs, and infused them with kickass DNA. But before they were done, Chaos (generic gathering of evil created from the emotions of sentient races everywhere) happened and took them away. Two were lost forever, and the last 18 spread across the galaxy. So the Emprah packed up and went out to unite humanity and find his lost sons. He found them one by one, and they had turned out to be A-grade badasses, like a super-sorcerer, a giant viking, Genghis Khan (in space!), Edgar Allan Poe, a winged vampire, one of the only three black people in the galaxy (still twice as much as in the original Star Wars trilogy) and the goddamn Batman.

>>34170410
If you do, post it over in the Weekend Smut Thread.
There's one up right now, as there is just about every weekend.

>>34178374
Things went well for a while, but because the Emprah was always away and a bad parent, and the clones picked on one another (like a Roman smurf picking on Spartacus), there grew some resentment amongst the brothers. It all started when one of them, Lorgar, started to write Chuck Norris-esque facts on his dad, and said he should be worshipped. The Emperor went "Son, I am disappoint" and Lorgar was send to his room for a month. When he got out, Lorgar's right-hand man suggested that if he wanted to worship dudes, he might as well turn to Chaos. Using some "Just as planned", they managed to corrupt Horus, the Warmaster and the Emperor's right-hand man and favored son to their cause, and with a combination of friendships, evil swords and promises of revenge, they managed gather a team of seven Primarchs. A non-evil Primarch, called Magnus the Red, used his awesome magics to call his dad and say that something bad was going to happen, but because the Emperor was working on some very delicate magic, Magnus' message came in the form of like a bazillion demons that kicked the Emperor in his mind and killed millions of people. Daddy was not amused and send an army of vikings to apprehend Magnus, but Horus managed to talk them into killing the army of wizards instead. In an epic battle the viking beat the sorcerer, but by turning himself to Chaos Magnus survived. Meanwhile, after he blew up his own planet, the Emperor send female assassin Martin Sheen to kill Batman, but he allowed himself to be killed saying "Trolololo you're just like me, dad.

>>34178385

So with nine armies on the Emprah's side and nine on the Warmaster's side, things got ugly. After a titanic battle on Terra resulting in billions of dead people, Horus was confronted by his winged vampiric brother. Horus kicked him in half. Then the Emprah came in and fought his son, but because he believed Horus still has some good in him, he held back. Horus, infused with the power of Chaos, kicked his ass, broke his back, melted half his face, chopped off his sword arm, and generally messed him up. Then, awesome happened. A guy named Ollanius Pius ran in and jump-smashed Horus in the face with his massive Mars-grade Adamantium balls. Horus commended him on his balls-out insanity before turning the man inside out with his mind. This showed to the Emprah that the Horus he knew was long-gone, and so he fired his lazor, vaporising Horus down to his soul. Then, the Emprah nearly died, but due to the intervention of Rogal Dorn, a Primarch and full-time angry dude with a love of turtling, his near-corpse was placed on the Golden Throne, a beacon that allowed spaceships to use FTL travel through hell without being humped a few dozen new love holes by daemons.

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Girl with deliscous accent attempts a blind reading (as in, didn't read it before hand) of the Doc Aquatic random adventure table:
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0spfjtyD6WJ

>>34170079
11/10

>>34171607

Why would you not call that one "Baptism in lava"?

>>34178628
Oh my god this is so stupid how can you like this. I get the "oh a hot girl is reading this list, I'm going to fall in love with her voice", but the actual list she's reading, Doc Aquatic's, is so lolrandumb. It's literally just lolrandumb. I'd go so far as to say it is the *definition* of lolrandom.