/heem/ - Smug Ronda edition

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>>75068464
She's so cute

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THANK YOU OP

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>adan

Rubber guard

Also: Will never use a Canadian thread ever in my life

>>75068482
He's so cute ;)

DC is almost 40 and that's about the limit you can go with USADA. Pretty sure rumble is going to win the belt on Saturday

Do not post in Adan threads
Do not reply to Adan posters
Do not portion your
Do not be a superheavyweight fatass

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lol

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>>75068509

>>75068522
you don't make very much money

>>75068526
How can Somalis get autism if they don't have vaccines or food with glutens in it? Really makes you think

Be honest.

When you're telling your grandkids about Brendan. How will you describe him?

There are no "wrong" answers.

>>75068564

Brendan Schaub = Adan Elmi

>>75068564
>When you're telling your grandkids about Brendan.
I won't

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>I'm so excited about our date, anon! Where are we going?

>>75068564
Bongo schlep was best fighter at the time

>>75068595
you might have sex with a woman one day and end up with some grandkids. don't be so hard on yourself i believe in you, anon

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Diakiese lads

>>75068595
Why don't you want kids?

>>75068458
lmao is that you spergy? why the fuck haven't you been posting webms

>>75068607
I meant I won't tell them about Brandon

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>>75068564
Honestly? As a fighter with minimal MMA experience that was able to be a finalist on TUF and go on to defeat former world champions. Most importantly I'll emphasize that Schaub opened up a door for fighters to make good money after retirement through podcasting and using that as a platform to sell t-shirts and sell out live shows. This will allow fighters to retire earlier and prevent redundant brain damage late in their careers.

>>75068612
I'm not spergop. Good to see you squirm though cause no one used your thread.

>>75068609
Was wondering where you were m8

>>75068634
wtf are you talking about lol

>>75068564
ill tell my kids cro cop never lost a fight and that
victories were stolen of him via decision
especially the one with BS

>>75068634
lol rekt

Lol lmao bud haha wtf dude btfo bud boys

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>This will allow fighters to retire earlier and prevent redundant brain damage late in their careers.

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>>75068643
Goodman

>>75068657
lmao dude you are permanently mad at me

I love it

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>>75068658
This was Schaub's first official UFC fight. Schaub was smart enough to retire early and make more money than all UFC champions not named Bork Lazer.

Dude LMAO gooby bud lol

>>75068458
Is it true that Rondas downward spiral started when Brendan dumped her?

Eww its replying to me

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>>75068679
you forgot your gooby in this post dude just letting you know it looks like this if you do it right


gooby
<----

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Big Brown Breakdown

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>>75068458

Upcoming events:

>News:
www.themaclife.com
https://themaclife.com/category/sports/ufc/
https://themaclife.com/category/mcgregor/
https://themaclife.com/category/entertainment/
https://themaclife.com/category/tech/

>/heem/ related fight wear:
http://www.ufcstore.com/Conor_McGregor_Gear/pg/1/ps/96/so/highest_price
http://www.fanatics.com/Conor_McGregor_Gear/pg/1/ps/84/so/highest_price

>/heem/ related fight gear for those of you with low paying jobs such as doing grunt work on a dock:
http://www.ufcstore.com/MMA/on_sale/yes
http://www.fanatics.com/Conor_McGregor_Gear/pricerange2/$10_to_$20/pg/1/ps/72/so/lowest_price

>Fights:
https://www.ufc.tv/page/fightpass

https://www.ufc.tv/secure/subscription?sku=PFIGHTPASSHD

Hey pussy, are you still here?

>>75068724
Listen to the woman Jon CALM DOWN just CALM DOWN

>>75068718
Are you really mad cause no one used your thread?

>>75068718
>The state of Canada

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>>75068719

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>>75068751

Just report and ignore the sperg leaf

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I hope dc wins :^)

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"the OP is important" - an idiot

All revved up

Let's see how long he can keep this up for.

Report Canada's posts for spam

>>75068791
remember that time I BTFO you so hard you never recovered?

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Alright lets ignore the loser and get on topic.

Post slips.

>>75068803
>>75068799
>>75068847

aww boo hoo waah waah I'm a little american pussy wah wah the canadian is mean to me lmao

>>75068829
>that terrifiyng Canuckian Dance of Red at the start
quite scary desu

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>>75068772
I want to lick that chocolate off of her abs.

>>75068847
>not including the stake

Do you honestly expect me to believe that you don't just make $0.10 bets in order to shitpost.

>>75068847
Why would you beyond on AJ as a favorite

Post moments where DC got BTFO

https://youtu.be/x6UlCs5ocfw?t=20

>posting your slip and purposely excluding the stake and yield

lmaooo

>>75068899
>the state of my phones autocorrect
I meant bet not beyond

>>75068887
Well if you had money and bet you'd know that you can't bet just 10 cents.

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>placing wagers before weigh-ins

Let's get back on topic

Post Schaubs.

Remember this is a person who claims to

>be married
>have a daughter
>own a business with 30 employees

>>75068932
I am balls deep in your head

waaaaay back there

https://youtu.be/33MLKAoUZYc

>Betting

>>75068935
Schaub is balls deep in the comedy game. Can't deny that.

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Stop replying to him.

>>75068507

90% of /heem/ canadians have no idea what you're talking about

100% don't care

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>>75068931
I second this notion!

>>75069008
What's wrong with you?

>>75068998
>wmma
Lad...

>>75068550
Wonder what Rory/Wonderboy fight would have been like if Rory wasn't leaving. Got the impression he was just keeping himself in good shape, for his family and lower-profile/higher pay post-UFC career.

>>75069005
Will literally never use your thread spergo. I love watching you squirm for 100 posts straight crying about how the OP doesn't matter cause no one used your thread.

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>>75069024
I smile too much.

>>75068609
pogba so talented

>>75069039
He really is a failure at life. Gonna be fun when he kills himself.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BSifrexB6rR/
>Trying to knock out your coach

Bloody hell Gus

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Do you think shlep has to look at his Instagram before he gets it up.

>>75069045

http://archive.4plebs.org/sp/thread/73768807/#73769822

>>75069098
Is this how the sweeds take their country back?

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>>75069039
there's more than 1 canadian ffs and i'm not that guy everyone is so pissed at or whatever.
i literally don't care who starts a thread.
i really don't understand what the fucking fuss is. is it this canadian versus lot of people? is it him versus just a few people who post a fuck of a lot about this stupid little drama?
i don't even know what the problem is - is it that the Canadian tries too hard to be the OP all the time? If so, why does anyone give a shit?
From what I've seen of him, there's some weird shit going on with his neediness or whatever it is, but why does anyone else care if he's weird, who cares? aren't we here to focus on MMA?

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>>75069137

>>75069137
This is an enemy simulator and the enemy is the inner me. Beat it! Get lost!

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Why does DC think he's hard?

>>75069137
>that pic

I dont get it, do they all have dicks?

>>75069185
Fake news

>>75069179
the UFC pushes them to be like this -- like when Dana kept pushing GSP to be more WWE-like, and he did his "I am not impressed with your performance" line. Bless him, it was all he could do, he's just a nice guy. Cormier's situation is about the same, except he really does think JJ is a waste case (and he's right about JJ's life, even if JJ is the superior fighter).

>>75069185
>unranked Velasquez

>>75069185
Fake

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>>75069198
No idea
don't even know what the show or whatever is, I just think it illustrates how fucked things are right now -- that these descriptions could possibly be taken seriously is ridiculous.

>>75069164
>>75069171
no idea what these responses are supposed to mean

>>75069137
lmao just a great post bud

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>>75069137

>>75069216
>>75069234
:)

>>75069137
Easy to make fun of a sperg who loves saying the OP is irrelevant but is always clamoring for people to use his threads, and if he doesn't get his way derails the thread people are using.

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Hey Jamie could you put up that footage from the Browne and Brandon fight...there we go okay good, first of all

>Oh for sure 100% man I was tagging him with some nice leg kicks

Listen man *brings microphone close to his mouth*

You looked just really stiff out there, stiff as a board, you can see how good Travis was compared to you, he has nice good clean boxing, good movement, you looked like you'd never hit pads in your entire life, you were literally a heavybag with eyeballs out there, chin up in the air, awkward footwork and the worst head movement I've ever seen since Tecia Torres vs. Paige Vanzant.

Realistically I can't see you beating any of the guys who fight in Bellator, WSOF, Rizin, how do you think you'd do in a straight up jiu jitsu fight against Gabi Garcia?

>Oh for sure I think you'd be surprised

Really you think so? I think you'd be surprised, I think she'd mess you up. There's a whole bridge between you and a guy who just walked into a gym for the first time, are you comfortable with knowing how horrible you are as a fighter? are you okay with being KO'd in your next 10 fights? Cause it could very well happen.

I'm not saying this to be mean, I'm telling you as a friend you're not a good fighter at all, he flattened you out and completely dominated you, you looked unimaginably stiff weren't prepared at all, your movement was atrocious, I worry about your commitment to anything fight related.


Get out of here and never come back.

>>75069124
Is this supposed to upset me? What is your purpose?

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>>75069310
but why does he care who starts a fucking thread? that's just the first post of many on a subject we were all going to post on anyway. is there something I don't get? does being a frequent OP lead to becoming a janitor or some shit?

>>75069273
>>75069288
alright, thanks for coming out, fellas

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>>75069349

Sell me on 210. Should any of the fights outside of the main and co be good? I don't know any of the fighters aside from the main, co, and cote and alves.

>>75069366
>but why does he care who starts a fucking thread?
Maybe you should ask him that.

>>75069368
probably not even close, but just for kicks, how would this guy get that $$$? a fucking podcast???

>>75069368
>l-l-le networth

Fake news.

>>75069394
>how would this guy get that $$$? a fucking podcast???
Podcast with millions of downloads per month. Tens of thousands of t-shirts sold. Sold out shows around the USA. It's not hard to imagine.

>>75069412
You are delusional

>>75069390
i have no idea which canadian he is and only care because this issue seems to be taking up so much thread real estate lately. I figured you guys might know.
In any case, that's the whole deal? some nutjob is obsessed with being OP? That's what all this is about?
good grief
if Conor retires /heem/ really is going to be relegated to /asp/.

>>75069179
He shits bigger than you

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lil heeminder

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>>75069464

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Really makes you think

>>75069441
>if Conor retires /heem/ really is going to be relegated to /asp/.

Lol you casual.

/heem/ existed before that manlet showed up.

>>75069476
no shit, but look at what this place is like when he's not in the picture

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>>75069464
TFATK live

>>75069490
Literally has nothing to do with him. /heem/ is even worse when he's about to fight.

>>75069491
Wow sold out a high school gym. I'm impressed.

>>75069513
Try selling out an extra space in your bed, chump

anyone have 0 interest in the up coming card

i just can't get myself to care.. aj is gonna ko dc in the first and moose is gonna catch wide man in the second

meh

>>75069560
You mad?

>>75069580
Our own little Zane Simon! Anything you'd like to enlighten us with, oh Great Swami!!

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>>75069580
are you gay?

Will Banjo Schlops come out of retirement for a money fight?

>>75069626
He said he'd fight Brock for the right kind of money and win lol

>>75069618
L E W D
E
W
D

>>75069618
Danm those are some nice titays. Can't wait to see them bouncing in the octagon

>>75069618

who is the ugly black nigger bitch

New Lookin For a Goof THIS Monday

>>75069673
You shouldn't talk about your peoples like that m8

>>75069137
who /mettaton/ here?

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>>75069673

Anyone got a gif of Nick Diaz dodging the water bottles thrown by McGregor?

>>75069618
Are you a virgin that has literally never seen an attractive woman in required life?

The answer is yes

>>75069708

but who is she and where is dana

>>75069725
>state of this casual

>>75069723
*real

Anyone else worried about Rumbles mental toughness? He seemed so nervous and worked up at the weigh ins. I have the feeling that he is insecure about his ability to dig deep and grind and I hope he can put it behind him. I´m sick of DC as a champ.

>>75069751
if his corner starts to shout "dont give up", its over

>>75069749
Because you touch yourself at night

>>75069749
To ward off any virgin loser who cares about that

>>75069460
This looks awful no offense.

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>>75069366
>>75069390
>>75069441


the OP doesn't matter you fucking idiots

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EMBEDDED:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Gwua8sD4-c
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Gwua8sD4-c
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Gwua8sD4-c

>>75069772
It is. Everyone thinks it does. The literal faggot has some sense of self-importance

>>75069772
>>75069786
:)

http://mmajunkie.com/2017/04/ufc-paige-vanzant-chopped-food-network

>>75069779
>p--p-p-pls use my thread please i need this

>>75069460
>with CTE Schaub

>>75069779
its been 2 hours. why are you still mad?

>>75069826
thicc

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>>75069749
So I can pay her bills

>>75069834
>team dillasnake

>>75069840
>whitebois consider that to be thicc

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just a lil heeminder that mackenzie is currently 150lbs

>>75069751

Rumble is definitely not strong mentally relative to the rest of the big 4 at LHW. I still think he could beat DC in this fight; Rumble's a beast in his prime and DC isn't getting any younger.

>>75069863
wish I was white :(

>>75069874
>big 4 at LHW

Who's the 4th ? Gustaffson ? He was already beaten out of elite by the nigga triumvirate

>>75069838
He's a pathetic friendless loser who's passing on some mentally defective traits unto an innocent child

http://archive.4plebs.org/sp/thread/72129631/#72129726

What a pathetic loser. God bless that poor child and deranged wife

>>75069491
Look at that sorry sack of crap that is Brian Callen. Does the girl selfie with the mouth agape. At this point he's riding the coat tails of brendan. His weird career is circling the toilet like a schaub.

>>75069914
Two very close fights with DC and Jon

>>75069922
ARCHIVEGOD TAKING NO SURVIVORS

BASED!!!!

>>75069922
Based fucking ArchiveGOD coming in clutch again

>>75069869
THICC and CUTE

Her lack of athleticism makes her BJJ achievements even more impressive.

>>75069946
>>75069976
Absolutely based

>>75069922
TYBAG

>>75069922
>God

ArchiveGOD saving /heem/. One goofsperg heemed at a time

TYBAG

>>75070024
ArchiveGOD is personally going out if his way to bestowing his grace on Adan. Show some respect!

>>75070037
Fatarefag detected

>>75070032
>>75070048
How much does that 4chan pass cost?

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What does AKA stand for?

>>75070048
does he put 4plebs user on the resume he never created?

>>75070053
?

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tfw gian villante comes in to save the embedded

donde esta la picks?

>>75070056
Absentee Knees Academy

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Who /CALVILLO/ here?

>>75070068
calendork will take them soon

>>75070058
Why you gotta reply to the same post multiple times?

>>75070064
Gian is bro tier, the Serra-Longo team is pretty based overall.

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>>75070079
right here my man

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>>75070064
Gian Villante is a good guy for losing to Shogun

>>75070089
I dont.
You doing alright there bud?

>>75070130
You clearly do and you just did. I worry about you.

>>75070094
The new team alpha male cum dumpster. Think she can break paiges record for number of gym bangs?

>>75070146
i think Buccholz made her his personal. She seems to be always with him

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Why did Wanderlei have no chill?

>Wanderlei's whole team jumping Chael
Brazilians desu

>>75070146
Stop projecting your gangbang fantasies onto people you don't know.

>>75070167
>we live in the timeline where Chael was submitted by Silva after beating him for 4 rounds


I can't let this feel get close ;__;

>>75070146
Reminder to mark your calendars for 4/11 to call in to the studradio podcast and ask them how many gym members banged 12 inch paige.

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Post fighter that REALLY make you think.

Pic very much related.

>>75070223
Yeesh. Who has the lowest hanging nipples in the ufc? Daniel Kelly?

>>75070167
Chael with the "Sir I need you to calm dow...TASER TASER TASER" stance

>>75070223
Still hasn't lost the puppy fat

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He had me worried at 208 but I'm glad he's back in shape.

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>canada thread btfo
>still mad about it hours later
>scat spam starts
right on time

A busy day of being shoved into locker-rooms huh?

>>75070252
Is Jacare some kind of native American or just a weird looking black Brazilian ?

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post yfw he scat spams with his 4chan pass on by mistake

>it's a canada bullies yank until he snaps episode

Completely lost it.

It's okay we'll use your thread next time.

>>75069029
Pearl Gonzalez is a part-timer soccer mom type who had a small win streak.

>>75070325
too late now. hes in full scat spam mode

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>>75070355
have seen her tits tho?

>>75070304
Take the picks

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MEME FIGHT

>get home from work
>sit down on the throne
>pop on /heem/ to say whats up to my simulated buds

>buddy is still just fuckin pissed from earlier

lmao I fucking love it. sorry for revving him up again though boys

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>>75070365
>used to think why is that literally who on main card
>then boobs happened and everything is clear now


I don't believe she will make weight tho

>>75070365
CUTE!!!

>>75070374
no :) picks were already taken :)))))

>>75070300
Just weird looking haha. He's Afro-Brazilian, the same ethnicity as Anderson.

>>75070389
cynthia is the one who said she was worried about making weight since she didnt expect to be fighting so soon and let her weight balloon up

Reminder I left this general because its filled with samefagging autistic dorks and spergs

Bye
ps. I bench 425

>>75070385
You've been here for 2 hours crying about OP not mattering, you're not fooling anyone.

What's the matter with you?

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>>75070390

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>>75070415

>>75068799

>>75070423
What is your maximum bench press?

>>75070423
Bye lad

remember to eat 3 steaks a day MINIMUM

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>>75070426
everything below the knee is a mess

>>75070143
Okay whatever floats your boat

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>mission control
>meat hook

>>75070478
Hnnng, I still would.

>>75070423
>bench pressing

good luck with that torn rotator cuff buddy

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>TFW you have more punching power than Jon Jones and Cain Velasquez

Hey guys I just got fight pass and my coworker mentioned the other day about some heavy weight fighter from years ago that kept getting knocked out in hilarious ways and had to quit but I can't find the fights though. I think his name was brandon slob or something like that.

>>75070495
It's useless if you can't land the punch.

>>75070478
jesus

>>75070499
http://brendanschaub.com/

>>75068511
yoelito

>>75070300
>>75070407
He is part Amerindian too.

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Should I put my kid's college fund on a Rumble-Moose parlay?

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>>75070499
Not funny. I bet you didn't even subscribe to fight pass either....

>>75070559
>rumble gets put on his back
>quits

Villante is the best part of any Weidman embeddeds.

>>75070569
>DC gets hit in his face
>goes to sleep

>>75070615
how did that work out last time pollack

Moose and DC is free money.

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FUCKING MAD MEN

only just got fight pass

how long after a PPV does it get uploaded?

>>75070657
>two years ago
>implying DC's chin is the same after Gus' knee
round 1 heem my guy

>>75070667
30 days

>>75070665
Put some effort in

>>75070671
yeah that's how it works
what's it like being 22? lmao fucking zilch

>>75070673
fucking jewfc

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>>75070657
How many times more can DC fly across the octagon until he can't no more ?

If you don't respect women fighters you aren't a fan of the sport.

>>75070695
well he has never been KO'd so it's a meme bet
the smarter bet is the guy who absolutely dominated the fight 99% of the time lmao

>>75070695
Old age and injuries have caught up with DC. He only fought once last year and looked like shit in the process. With a more careful gameplan, Rumble can put him away.

>>75070674
:)

Worried jon jones won't ever be as good as he used to be again lads

reassure me

>>75070734
Of course he """""""""""could put him away"""""""""" we're talking about betting not your namefagging fruitcake empty slogans.

>>75068829

>when da cracka still comin' at u but there's not more room to back up

>>75070761
he obviously wont

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Rumble is the better grappler and DC is the better striker, the stats don't lie.

>>75070167
I remember one hue was bragging about punching sonnen in the back of the head.

>>75070613
Thats what I said in the last thread and some faggot replied with some greentext about liking "fratboy humor"

>>75070167
>comin at you live from the bathroom of a men's shelter in Rio

You guys think Jones is gonna get a loud pop when they show him on screen saturday night? I bet he does. New Yorkers dont give a fuck. They will back their own no matter what.

>>75070495
Get in my guard bro

>>75070876
https://nypost.com/2017/04/06/no-one-helps-woman-with-head-trapped-between-subway-doors/

>>75070889
kek

>>75070889

I wouldn't give a fuck either if I "lived" in that 3rd world dystopia

>>75070889
What does that have to do with what I said about jones?

>>75070827
Bad behavior but from what I remember not everyone on Wand's team was being aggressive and Sonnen's team went to his rescue.

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anybody want one of these? there's this kind, the blue storm kind, the golden text kind and the sand storm one

>>75070933

>from what I remember
From watching reality TV?

>>75070786
kek

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>>75070948
for reference

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>>75070948

blue storm my shit up

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>>75070948
Can I get this one in (darude) sandstorm ?

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>>75070948
Like your clawja pls

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Travis Browne v Oleksy Olynyk added to UFC 213

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>>75070948
Can you blue storm this please?

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>>75070988
i dont think it works for such a low res pic

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>>75070948
Sand storm me my man

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>>75070948
Your choice my homie

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>>75071062
213 is the fight week in Vegas ?

>>75071062
Travis will lose... again.

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>>75071022
i dont think this is what you wanted lol

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blocks your path

>>75071156
You're insecure pal

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>>75071135
Looks like Dana goofed her

>>75071156
Are they fighters or does Claudia's Fitness Gym work?

>>75071072

Thanks m80

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>>75070365
Yea she was fighting for the same ammy org as a friend of mine and used to be one of the 1000 fighters pictured on those horrible local fight bills

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>>75071166
>claudia
>admitted 'former' drug addict
>former nova uniao fighter
lmao bub good luck with that weight cut

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Gastelum popped for weed
>yfw he always missed weight due to munchies

>>75071156
*spread buttcheeks*

300
0
0

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>>75071045
that one is too low res but have this. i also /pearl/

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makes tyron's win over this loser even more impressive

Gegard is coming off as too desperate in these interviews about his contract. He says he wants more money but then says he doesn't want to leave and he loves the ufc. Dana is gonna sense his weakness and lowball him again.

Gegard should have played it cool and said he loves Bellator/Rizin and he has a lot of friends there.

>>75071244
Bellator and Rizin are going to try and poach him anyway, he should try and squeeze the UFC. I feel like there's a good chance he will leave, if he loses, they will definitely lowball him.

>>75071243
Tim Kennedy is going full PTSD over this

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>>75071243
>marijuana
>performance enhancing

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>Marijuana consumption is USADA violation
>2017

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>>75071243
Wow an honest American like Tim can't stop losing to these drug-cheats.

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>gastelum possibly out of 212

You know what that means

>>75071294
But Yoel beat other Tim and Yahcare

http://sportv.globo.com/site/combate/noticia/2017/04/gastelum-e-notificado-por-doping-e-esta-fora-da-luta-contra-anderson-silva.html

lol vitor's loss is now a no contest