/mls/ general - WEEK ONE IN THE BOOKS EDITION (feat. /ayy/)

>perf

Minnesota United.

Soon™

Time for the sunday fixtures!

>four hours until matches

what to do, what to do........

Liberals shitting themselves over the new USAF policy requiring players to stand for the anthem

>muh free speech
>muh totalitarian state

>>74518539
Fuck, meant USSF

>the new york city of mix diskerud

>>74518782
i keep thinking im gonna run into him at le bain or something

he should just go pro with the money laundering like his dad

>>74518539
Its kind of ridiculous though.

Literally everyone forgot about that attention whore shit and here comes ussf triggering every faggot who has an opinion about politics

And its telling its the womens team who has all the controversy, no surprise they go along with fucking nigger shit. While the mens side has been classy all the way.

>>74518825
wew

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>>74518539
kek at all of you for thinking anyone should give a shit

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>>74518058
>the East is winless
Why are they so shit, lads?

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Come on Atlatas Unidos FC !

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>Soon

>>74518825
Nah, it's a good thing US Soccer is doing this. They've probably had enough with the dyke cunts trying to overpower them with their feminist backed status and lawsuits.

>>74518825
>>74518539
I don't think anyone really cares desu, I haven't heard of any "liberal uproar" because people have to stand

>>74519223
I liked US Soccer more when everyone actually concentrated on the sport.

USWNT cancer

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>he doesnt support the waifus NT

>>74518058

>Vancouver Whitecaps
>White

are they /ourguys/?

At a certain point, if the MLS wants to be taken seriously by the American public at large, don't they have to drop that god awful energy drink nickname?

>>74519300
fuck off, Lisa

>>74519300
>the MLS

>>74519300
They have to produce good academy players which are then promoted to the first team. But that's probably not going to happen for a while. Mls would rather buy foreigners than take chances with unproven kids. We're slowly becoming an American Premier league where the best players are all foreigners and the American players are a tier behind like the English. (In some cases that's already happening like with our American forwards who are mediocre by MLS standards if you look at the golden boot top 5.)

>>74519385
You misunderstand my question.
I'm not asking "What does MLS have to do to get taken seriously?"
I'm asking "Doesn't dropping that ridiculous name have to be part of the process?"

>>74519406
Red bulls? Who cares. It's not like Americans would care seeing as how American sports in general are plastic and corporate as fuck.

>>74518991
East in not just MLS, but all pro sports, is more money than brains.

West is more brains than money, except for LA.

>>74519501
You're not wrong, but the American public has zero awareness of this.
Case in point, watch the sperg out that happens any time any major US league suggests putting ads on uniforms.

>>74519578
It's already about to happen with the Nba though.

>>74519578
The American public also does not realize that without those ads on the uniforms, there would be timeouts every 5 minutes.

>>74519578
Americans are big into "muh tradition" even though the country is like still a whiny teenager compared to every other country in the world (except Canada, which is that creepy teen who wears a full suit and reminds his parents about bedtimes).

Ads popped up all over ballpark and stadiums and no one complained... uniforms are sacred, and yet (1) no one complained when the WNBA started doing it, now execs have seen profit results, so it will eventually find its way to other sports, AND, (2) someone NASCAR fans are fine with a car covered in ads.

tl;dr Americans are a confused lot, as the voting public is doing currently (both in politics and for all-star games).

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Hay guise, we lost our season opener.

All is forgiven, r-right?

FIIIIIGHT

>naming your American soccer team "United Football Club" when it's not united nor a football club

Does anyone hafve a site to download games after the fact?

I have a dozen sites I can use for any other league but I missed my teams opener yesterday ;-;

I don't have TV though so idk how I can watch it now...

>>74520778
>>74520778
>FC Santa Claus

>>74520845
Go back to redddit and ask there.

>>74520845
MLS live is 80 bux

>tfw waited too long to buy tickets and missing the opener

why make new stadium with 25k capacity when they averaged 30k+ for last 2 years ... and home openers were like 50-60k

>>74520954
>a 3rd division farm team and a literal meme

>>74521166
economics.

if demand exceeds supply, demand not only can never be met, but will continue to grow.

>>74521351
well they sure are feeding the second hand ticket racket, $30 seats are $120

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>>74519185
>that fucking cover

Seriously reminds me of pic related

>>74521436
That happened.

>>74521436
good pic

>tfw no qt aztecs team

>>74521577
>PC

what's with Brazil and their nicknames?

yo lids watching >our kids in this u20 final?

didn't even know, was just looking at the guide waiting for the game.

>>74521714
i am

usa looks good

>>74521436
Also, where would we have been had this naslel not killed soccer in the usa that one time.

>>74521789
I'd probably still be a Quakes fan desu

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>>74521577

>>74521664
He looked like or played like a guy with that name in Brazil

>>74521833
heh

>>74521833
Is Vieira any good as a manager now?

>>74521882
yes

>>74521882
He put together the best season as a foreign manager in MLS history last season probably in terms of league results

Orlando's new stadium is ugly

>>74521882
Probably more lucky than good

DA PUR PUL LYONS

I'm ready to watch this game!

Okay I'm ready to give up on Orlando
Those flares are fucking embrassing

>>74521955
Oscar Pareja fucking won the supporters shield

kek at that bit of the fan parade espn showed. More than enough to make me cringe

>>74521981
Welcome to LAFC of the east

>>74521995
always gotta add +15 to reported mls start times

>49 rainbow colored seats to honor the gay club shooting
For what purpose

>>74522024
lore

>rainbow seats
>le dortmund wall

So this is the power of Orlando...

Also, are those two announcers in the pregame currently transitioning?

Does every expansion team fanbase have to be a cringefest

damn... those fans look hard as fuck

>>74522057
lol >we wont get 50 points this year

If I sit in one of Orlando's gay seats does that make me gay?

>ESPN/FS1
30 minutes of fucking TALKING before the game, NO idea when the game is going to actually start
>TSN (canada)
kickoff is at the time advertised, if there is nothing on beforehand sometimes they talk for like 15 minutes

I mean kickoff of the first game of the TFC season almost got missed because curling was running long, seriously America WTF

Oh nice ESPN got the girl with the big tits

>>74522010
i know i'm supposed to hate them because muh lags, but that location is so good even if the stadium will be on the smaller side.

but then, I also don't hate on the "cringe" fans so whatever.

>>74522083
Everything in that stadium is pretty gay

Can someone redpill me on Orlando? I'm loving there in June

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>>74522057
:^)

>>74522095
who?

>>74521833
lel

>>74522127
Inundated with faggots and cucks

>if the stadium is purple, that makes it GAY!!
Damn whole bunch of people insecure in their sexuality ITT, always knew American MLS fans were closet gays.

>>74522057
>trusting a stat that E!SPN creates

>>74521833
Defense doesn't looked improved

Midfield maybe but then again it's Pirlo, a 5'2 guy and a twink from Finland

>>74522110
It's a good location during the day. But I wouldn't walk around there at night. Exposition park is notorious for crime.

>>74522147
I don't know if you saw it but there was some marching with flares and people trying to be hooligans
Plus there's some rainbows seats
So it's pretty gay

Are they really claiming that Orlando created the first supporter area of any mls stadium?

>>74522191
Standing supporters area is pretty sweet desu

>>74522221
No
Especially since they're gonna have a lot of people standing in Florida heat

>>74522221
Sporting KC has had that since they moved into their stadium and I'm sure other teams have it too

>5:00 start time
>game doesn't actually start until 5:27
I fucking hate American TV so much. Is it so hard to do it like in England and have accurate kickoff times?

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Xth for Seattle exposed

>>74522179
oh who cares about that, same could easily be said of the area near the stub.

and at least you can take the light rail to the former chivas' new home, or at least it's much easier.

>>74522252
It's mostly a TV thing
Although why doesn't MLS present the accurate time I don't know

>>74522221
Isn't that how all those Liverpool fans died?

>>74522237
Nothing wrong with people losing weight especially in florida

Why do they go by "Orlando City"?

>>74522268
Little different since it's safe standing

Btw I almost something like that back in October
See Clemson has a general admission kinda like those old standing sections in England except it's a hill so twice as dangerous

MLS teams can't afford to pay someone to sing the national anthem anymore

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>>74522259
I know but being a fan of any team isn't convenient. I'll be a Galaxy supporter no matter what.

Why did they scream "night" during the national anthem?

>>74521833
>not putting them in baseball positions

Would have been perfect

>>74522403
Because night is when they fuck each other's bumholes.

>>74522388
yeah not gonna change alliances either, even if it's a bit tempting 2bh.

sucks being without a car in this damn city.

>>74522004
He's been involved so long with the league he doesn't really count, plus he's South American not Euro, id call him the best manager in the league though

>>74522134
>>74522095
oh binks you meant.

i guess they are big. seen bigger on the on field correspondents though, like that snek one.

that's a gay crowd

Capacity is too high. Will look bad when they aren't filling it up

impressive attendance to be fair

>>74522403
In Atlanta, some people (myself included) still yell "KNIGHTS" during the national anthem that way, for the IHL team we had in the 90's. If I had to guess, Orlando does the same because of UCF, but I could be wrong.

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>>74518058
>picture looks like absolute shit
>annoying news scroll on the bottom of screen
>gargoyle-faced cunt shows up to talk about meaningless bullshit
Welcome back, MLS.

>>74522465
They will just have post-game foam parties and it will always fill

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>>74522406
Not a very good app to do so with but I'd tried my best

>>74522493
kek some diehard soccer fans

>>74522498
And to think this is the best its ever been.

Really gets your brain thinkin'

>>74522465
if i got it right it's 5k less than their avg. attendance last season

>>74522456
Orlando is super gay

>>74522480
>>74522465

Last year's attendance average was about 30.000. This stadium is 25.000. They'll be having good crowds on a regular basis.

KAKA OUT FOR THE SEASON

>>74522259
trains are for poor people

more like KEKE

>fuck around during the offseason instead of getting in shape
>pull hamstring after 8 minutes

>joe eggplant #1
what does that even mean

>>74522592
yes and?

>>74522604
Means he's a power bottom

>>74522592
>dependent on the jew gas
lol

What in MLS isn't gay as fuck?

>kakà
More like caca

Twellman acting like coming off the bench after 10 minutes is hard to do

>>74522521
Good job

>>74522592

>tfw I can't wait for BART to reach Santa Clara

>>74522639
when the troops take pics in mls uniforms

>>74522638
>poorfags cant afford a car
>in fucking Los Angeles

TOP FUCKING KEK

>>74522606

Orlando can't attack.

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAL

>>74522671
>the city of leafland

nize crowd desu

>>74522671
Trying to help your fellow Canadian by jinxiing against him?

>>74522671
(You)

>what is defense
Do those NYC short come with pockets.

>>74522671
Put me in the screencap

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>>74522671

A goal post cam pointed directly at the keeper's dick. This is unique to Orlando's stadium

Is that an E2?

>A reminder that Mix scored that opening goal last Orlando opened a stadium

>>74522666
>I like to be cucked by cars
Nah no thanks

what are the least gay teams in MLS?

>>74522727
Lol keep telling yourself that. e

>>74522718
will the halftime entertainment be a guy giving 5 handjobs at one time?

>>74522734
Teams in the middle of the country

>>74522734
seattle

>having your FULL NAME on the back of your jersey

>>74522734
not canadians or coastal teams

not big cities

so uh

real salt lake

>>74522734
no such thing friend

>>74522751
good one

>>74522734
San jose, montreal, dc united, philadelphia, columbus, toronto.

>>74522734
Dynamo

>>74522760
That's a pretty gay name

I was expecting rainbow confetti after the goal

>>74522771
San Jose, Montreal, Philly, and Toronto are pretty gay

>>74522760
>>74522799

San Jose is the only team in the league where I have not seen a rainbow flag

Probably has to do with the fact that the Bay Area is pretty much the gay capital so fans dont feel like they have to rub it in everyones face

>>74522812
They all took of their shirts yesterday
No denying it's pretty gay

>>74522771
Completely irrelevant too.

Mutiny was the GOAT team name

>>74522812
your mascot is a blue twink

>man city C trying to play possession ball with non talented players

really makes you think

Sorry if your team is located in California it is irredeemably gay no matter what

>>74522836
Not a San Jose fan, nice try

>>74522734
Everyone is gay. Some are just less or more gay

>>74522799
What's gay about them? Solid genuine fan base, nice kits, shitty tifos...

>>74522836
also got beat up by beckham, keke

>>74522840
r-ring is talented
i swear

Mayor of shank city right there

>>74522868
It's fucking bay area plus the shirt thing
Wannabe frenchies and the French are pretty gay
Something about doopin'
It's in Leafland. That's also true about Montreal but they're gayer than Toronto

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>>74522551
I'm from Orlando. You wanna hook up?

All the non-gay teams are flyover teams so they are basically non-teams

>>74522884
well what do you know, theres a finnish player on Man City C

>go to game to watch my team's opener
>some faggot waves a flag in front of me the whole game so I can't see anything

>multiple bundles of sticks

>mini-dortmund
>intimidating
kek

>that
>a yellow card

>>74522942
lmao

>>74522951

Your country is irrelevant. Be quiet mikima

>>74522951
You forgot to say
>purple
>intimidating

kek

>>74522972
no yours

How do you not score that

>>74522884
>Ring

You sure about that?

>>74522942
>not cheering for you team
>not wevin yo flag
>absolutely no exaliftin

When Lyon was courting Alex Morgan, they said her husband that beaner there a position on Lyon's reserves team, which would have been the ultimate emasculation

>>74522980
Isn't it bedtime in Finland?

>>74522884
Ring is actually a natioanl team player for you guys?

>>74522989
do you think she bullies him? asking for a friend.

>>74523009
She pegs him but he likes that so idk if that counts

>>74523009
jesus man she has no tits nor much of an ass
There are more attractive women soccer players

Srsly guys. Orlando can't attack. Look at the movements. There is not enough volume in the transition. And the forwards are predictable and static. Shit attack tbqh

>>74523039
Like Hope Solo?

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USA USA USA USA

>>74522984
nice

>>74523003
yeah, but hasn't been a starter in a while. he has been absolute trash with the NT

>shot is so bad that it goes out for a throw in

>kaka is gone
>orlando's midfield is nonexistent

really makes you think

Julie Stewart-Binks is such a stupid, disgusting whore. I hope somebody bashes her face in.

>>74523169
I'd give her a nice face bashing if you know what I mean

>>74523169

*tips in your direction*

>>74523169
mommy milky

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>>74523169

>>74523190
>>74523195
>>74523218
>>74523220
*white knights*

>>74523169
So you agree she's better than that beaner they had

The toddler tanks won the U-20s
First time ever

>>74523288
>falling for the white girl meme

Most used and abused girls i've ever fucked.

>>74523321
Am I supposed to know what that means

>>74523321
yes >we did it!

>>74523334
U20 mutant ninja turtles won dac up

>>74523334
US won Concacaf U20s for the first time.
Top 4 teams advance to the U20 World Cup, but this year we faced Mexico in Round 2, beat them, and then beat Honduras in the finals.

If only we had Larin on the national team over memes like Altidore and Memeis. Fuck

>>74523426
spoilers: larin is a meme
in fact he reminds me of altidore so much I fear he's going to end up in england doing exactly what altidore did there

>>74523449
He's a clinical finisher. He would be a great bench option behind Wood or Dempsey for us. If he upped his work rate he would be even better.

>>74523389
Also, this was mostly the B team that won. No Pulisic, Wright, Carter-Vickers, or Joshua Perez, and Ebobisse was kind of crap the whole tournament.

>announcers finally acknowledging the cum on the field

>not admitting that it is cum after the halftime orgy at the gayest stadium in America

>>74523518
>Joshua Perez

Heard fuck all from him. How's he doing in Fiorentina?

It's kinda cute to see this low level footy. Makes me wonder why there is no north american participation in the UEFA champions league so murrican babby teams can step up their game.

New York to Munich is just 1500 kilometers less than Munich to Astana.

>>74523551
It would be better if MLS upped their academies and promoted more kids from within rather than buy aged retirees. So many academy kids have left for Europe because they get no playing time here, it's honestly kind of sad.

holy shit Larin what was that

>>74523559
The academy players don't get played because they suck. At most they are role players who ride pine or are USL filler.

>le larin meme

THIS IS ATLANTA

>>74523551
>>74523551
Be careful what you call cute, we'll be bigger than you guys in 10 years

>>74523629
Larin is lucky that refs are fucking retarded cause god damn dude what the fuck

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Any brotherly lovers ready for the game tonight? I think we have a chance.

>Carmona went from Atalanta to Atlanta
Why is this funny to me?

>>74523628
>Who is FC Dallas, winner of 2 trophies last season

Just because canada can't produce players doesn't mean the same here

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>>74523642
there's always a chance

>>74523537
Mostly playing for their reserve team, with one first-team match

>>74523642
>>74523652
Say it, lads...you know what I'm talking about.

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>>74523673
sorry, I'm trying to distance myself from "doop" culture. I always hated it

>>74518058

>be MLS
>'we need to expand'
>add more teams to city's with a team already

>>74523682
When did "doop" culture start?

So let me get this straight.

The MLS buys a bunch of old retirees and doesn't bother with homegrown talent. While teams don't earn the right to play in first division but rather buy franchises. And there are no consequences to playing like fucking garbage?

What the fuck I hate the mls

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hello

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>>74523673
DOOP

>>74523647
Their HGPs are role players

>>74523673
Bimbo

>>74523702
No, there are multiple teams who spend shit all on players and don't give a shit if they win

>>74523702
Ok bye

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30 more minutes.

>move bitch get out the way chants
lewd

I want to go to an OC Lions game but I don't want to see dudes kissing. What do?

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>>74523701
At the very beginning. the front office turned a made up word from a German techno song into a marketable meme

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Getting pretty
>soon

Tfw there's no diskerud sub.

>brand new stadium
>literally kills two best players on the team

cursed

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>>74523749

>>74523743
Close your eyes

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>>74523747
https://youtu.be/GBYxIElug8M
You mean this one?

>>74523759
>these shirt numbers
what the fuck

>>74523776
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVjeheaFfsM
yes

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>disliking the best goal horn in MLS

>>74523786
Does he tell everyone to tie their shoes?

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>>74523792
It's fine as a goal horn. But when retards go around saying Doop and having it on their clothes, I cringe. I envisioned better for Philly soccer culture

>>74523798
yup

>>74523801
>no body likes us,we dot care.

hipsterwithhandlebarmustache.jpg

>>74523826
the Sons of Ben are also to blame

There are gonna be some reach arounds in the showers tonight

>>74523628
A couple do play but then they fuck off to europe.

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Is this a Union thread now?

>>74523849
There always was going to be reacharounds
They might go full penetration now

>>74522240
Bleachers is NOT the same as safe standing

How's my nigga Maurice Edu doing? Is he still in Europe?

>>74523879
SKC has standing room only sections too

>>74522221
>tfw Avaya was originally going to have what orlando has but then Kaval fucked everything up again

>Bend dick

>>74523759
What the fuck is up with these autistic number choices?

Whatever happened to the good ol' 1-11 number system?

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>>74523872
yes

>now

>>74523913
players want to be special snowflakes

>>74523866
At least if they fuck off to Europe your club gets some cash for their rights and if they get better they become prospects for the national team.

>>74523913
Getting triggered by numbers is more autistic tbqhwy

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I don't understand this forced formation change at all

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>>74523914

I need 15 points from Almiron here

>>74523923
30 minutes of talking heads first

>Man City C

>tfw everyone is shitting on Atlanta

please do NOT bully us!

>soon

Will he do it one last time? Is he at the game?

10 fucking minutes!

>>74523977
you guys are going to win

This commercial is pretty gay too

>>74523997
nope, now he's sooning until the stadium is done

>>74523997
fuck off, lisa

Is Atlanta the least gay team in MLS?

That hammer and nail is pretty gay

>>74524039
Atlanta is one of the gayest cities in America

>>74524039
not after that embarrassing chant they're not

I thought Atlanta was full of niggers, what's up with all the white folk?

>>74524050
>>74524053
ATL is the Blackest team in MLS

>>74524061
Blacks don't go to sports

Is >soonposting going to over >soon?

I couldn't be more excited.

https://twitter.com/MarkFishkin/status/838533572394893312

>full steam ahead scarve
I like to plow her,if you know what I mean.

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holy shit, Monica's outfit looks like a waiter uniform for a restaurant chain

>>74524063
Lowkey homosexuality is huge in the black community

Honor guard looks stupid with M16s

>soon
is
>now

fireworks!!!!!!

>>74524061
>African-Americans
>soccer
Pick one and only one

>>74524074
what the crud

>>74524074
https://twitter.com/MarkFishkin/status/838540621518340096

I love expansion lads ;__; its beautiful

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>>74524074
oh christ

>>74524083
>down low bro.

should've been migos singing tbqh senpai

>>74524103
>hava nagila

*clasps hands*

>>74524083
>watches moonlight once

>>74524103
>mmmmmmm

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>Now

>>74524121
Who are you?

>>74524074
why do teams keep making this mistake?

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Damn NYCFC "fans" loved the gay so much they wanted to bring it home with them.

>>74524110
Did they not learn from NYCFC?

Is Minnesota the only pure MLS club left?

>>74524121
Not sure what that is

>>74524148
>its another nycfc fans stealing a seat episode

>now
Reminder that if ATL loses by less than 4 goals they will be better than minisoda, the shittiest team in MLS

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>>74524150
fuggg :DDD

>>74524148
good, fuck those retarded "hooligan" mexishits

>>74524110
*Doops passionately*

Damn these sidelines are fucking NARROW

>>74524110
>tl;dr

Do they give a crud or nah

>>74524148
NYCFC fans have to be the worst fans in MLS

>>74524179
THIS IS ATLANTA
YOU BETTER WATCH YO MOUTH
THIS IS ATLANTA
WE'RE GONNA STOMP YOU OUT

>>74524148
this is so embarrassing

REKT

*stewart lee voice*

bradley looks fat and depressed

>>74524148

Wew

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>>74524148

>>74524165
>songs not included on this list may still be sung

>>74524148
Jesus Christ
Who travels to away games?

>>74524110
why do you have to be so gay, MLS?

>>74524233
hopefully not zizzo anymorEEEEEEEEE