/heem/: khabib edition

pussy

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you don't make enough gooby editions tbqh

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>>74314769
fuck julianna pena

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>>74314755
Least favourite what?

>>74314757
Good thread op
May Cody bless you and I hope you have a good afternoon

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>>74314757
OP, your efforts are appreciated,your news will be read,Canada will stay upset,your struggle will be noticed. Love every here

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When is Yoder fighting next?

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first for cody buttasspoop

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back up though
back up though

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Schaub is God

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If Derrick Lewis isn't willing to shit himself in the cage I'm not sure he has what it takes to get the belt.

>>74314819

You are the biggest loser on /heem/

>>74314817
Sad...

Real sad for me to see you struggling like this

May the lord forgive me for saying this but that's a tad pathetic

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senselessness will not be tolerated

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>>74314818
>>74314818

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evacuate from the proximity

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you can't grasp what i just did

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>>74314837

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>>74314872
Ah I wanted this!!
Thank you

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ease me out like a toot
ease me out like a toot

>>74314792
I am the least upset person of all because /heem/ brings me joy, friend

we are united through violence, muslims and whitey country bois alike

ufc 211
friends and I are thinking of going
is that supposed to be a good main event
t. newfag

>>74314891
dude please stop, you can't even meme correctly

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>>74314898
yes, very much so
it's between two of the most exciting heavyweights on the roster, and their first fight was great

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>>74314897
Good for you, man. Have a zen Reem

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Why is the op mean to me even though i am nice to him?

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>>74314935
i think you have me confused for someone else
but people are mean to you because you're a tripfag

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>>74314946
nice webm

>>74314964
the hitbox on flying knees pisses me off

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>>74314946
>people are mean to you because you're a tripfag

4chanx is so great

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One loss, get over it. You did with Cruz

>>74314973
ufc video games are garbage

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reminder that I said this weeks ago, capped it, and will post thsi again when the fight happens

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I dare any of you cunts to talk to me irl like you do online

I'll heem you to the grave

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First for Derrick "THE SOUL EATER" Lewis.

First i take your consciousness, then i take your reputation (wife beater), then i steal yo gurl.

H-TOOOOWWWWWWWWWNNNNNNNN!

>>74315010
how can we make sure derrick sees this? can someone spam his twitter?

Gayest sport ever

>>74315014
He posted an image like that one on his Twitter already. Only difference is that this picture is blue

>>74315022

You're not in a soccer thread Sanchez.

>>74315010

Never thought id feel bad for Travis. Also, has he ever been put out cold before? How long til he woke up?

>>74314819
>Schaub is God

gods do not sustain themselves on mediocre income and hang on to an already faded and uneventful career

>>74315049
rumour has it that he remains out even to this day...

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>>74315074
>mediocre income
Sauce?
>faded and uneventful career
Beating 2 world champions is more than what 99% of all MMA fighters have accomplished

>>74315049
>has he ever been put out cold before?

Yes

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I'm off to bed

When I wake up Cody will still be champion

That is why I wake up

>>74315097
do not play with the fires of jinxing my friend

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>>74315074

>>74315096

I'm pretty sure the worst he was heemed was vs Bigfoot, and he was still somewhat conscious

>>74315109
Bf vs ex bf


Fuck lads.. not long till khabib, lando and wonderboy hype is killed, all in the same night

>>74315132
>lando hype
what are you talking about?

>>74315151
t. fucking casual
>>>>>/asp/

>>74315151
>hype is for hardcore fight fans only
you are the reason why the sport will never prosper

>>74315151
wow casual

>>74315151
>le wacky purple moovment guy xDDDDD

Hate that stupid fuck. Of course every wannabe Sherdog warrior and journalist faggot rides his nuts

So it pretty much confirmed now that RONDA is getting B L A C K E D by the black beast

>>74315266
forgot my trip hahahhahah

wew

YEAH WHAT YEA

>>74315049
All of his losses are tko or vicious KO. His brain is like swiss cheese at this point.

Luke Rockhold

R U BLIND CUNT?

>>74315307

His losses to Werdum were by decision, though he did get hurt badly in both of them.

>>74315317
>Discussing MMA
get a load of this guy

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Hey irmaos, anyone down for tennis? :^)

Famous Burgers© on the house haha

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>>74315312
do you even know what a trip is you fuckin goof

>>74315317
That's right, it was Edmund that got tko by front kick after the last Browne fight.

My mistake

Ronaldo "Jacare" Souza

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>>74315346
seems to have misplaced his steroids

>>74315339
nameshitting fuck off with your cuck country

showed that faggot who's who

>>74314906
thanks man; gonna get tickets then =)

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>>74314810
>miss weight
>win your last Invicta fight and get call to UFC

>opponent misses weight
>lose your debut UFC fight
lol

>>74315350
Anyone else notice him get rocked by Boetsch shortly before the takedown?

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Reem bless

>tfw artem cucks your dad everynight

its not fair lads

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>>74315436

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>>74315426
It's not like he can cuck your mom. He doesn't have enough reach to give a reach around.

>>74315346
Is ducking the Bigg Rigg.

Hendricks will be the MW champ in 2017 and there is literally NOTHING that can stop him.

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>>74315502
>>74315509

Derrick Lewis sounds like an old school gangster.

Also lol at him calling Travis a women beater and asking for Rousey's fine ass. I was hoping he would say something about Edmund

>>74315535
> Derrick Lewis sounds like an old school gangster.
He sounds like your average urban super senior

>>74315535
Derrick Lewis is basically the dumbest, most caveman-like borderline retarded fighter in the UFC. He has absolutely no filter and just says whatever passes through his ape-like mind with a THICC southern drawl.

Personally, I'm a huge fan. But there's literally nothing resembling intelligence there.

>>74315446
you didnt even watch the fights, you literally just come here because youre gay for shcaub

>>74315023

in this one he's sucking the soul up, the twitter one is just the spirit rising in the air

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>>74315581
That's not true at all. I was out of the house for Lewis/Browne. My first time missing a UFC event live in roughly 5 years.

>>74315550
I'm not saying he's smart. I'm saying his voice sounds like one of those fat nigger gangsters. Like when they started talking like Bootsy Collins because they thought that'd be more intimidating. I didn't expect him to sound like that

He's obviously dumb as fuck, but I'm glad it happened at the expense of Travis Browne. Now hopefully he gets slept next fight

>Derrick Lewis declared himself the interim HW champion at the post-fight press conference

Does /heem/ recognize this belt?

>>74315644
its unironically more legit than Aldo's belt right now

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>I still need to work on my jab, the thang is tho, I hate throwin jabs, jabs to me tho is a waste of time I just like to swang n bang but I know a lotta guys gonna start gettin used to that n tryna counter offa that but you know my coach say you gotta set up the jab and throw the right hand over whatever behind that, but it's just...(shakes head)...I just hate throwin jabs
>I already blocked my managers n my coaches like they some side chicks n put they name as 'Do Not Answer'

This is pure natty. The man shuns coaching.

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i know we have weeks to go but i have nothing better to do so i remade the template with the advice of the anons that complained about the other format. the non-chronological left to right layout triggers my autism but is this better?

>tfw your two boys fight in under 2 weeks

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>>74315644

>>74315715
Looks good but similarly triggers the ol' 'tism

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is there a more CTE'd fighter?

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>>74315753
This. Maybe put the pairs in chronological order?

Flags are a nice touch

>>74315753
>>74315780
yeah but then where do i put the main event? do i make it the same size as the others? making it asymmetrical would kill my autism

>>74315715
>>74315799
You can only do so much with a banner, chronological left-to-right pairs makes the most sense, and I'd leave the main event the same size as the rest.

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>>74315644
No, because Ngannou deserves it more.

THREAD THEME
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kszLwBaC4Sw

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>>74315835

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>tfw h-bombed weidman at 4:59 of the last round

>>74315777
Brendan Schaub

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I'd watch a pro kangaroo fighting circuit desu. They can fight super technically and can execute both the RNC and the guillotine

>>74315777

Brendan Schaub

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Heeminder that jabs are a waste of time

>>74314964
From champ to the official face of flying knee absorption.

Where did everything go so wrong?

>>74316046
They're right cunts though, turn your back on them and they'll try their damndest to drown ya.

>>74316028
>>74316049
he's not a fighter

Can The Chris still beat Weidman?

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where alexa grasso fine ass at?

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*RECORD SCRATCH*

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BIG JOHNS REVENGE

>>74316096
EXPOSED

Where rhonday rhousey fine azz @?

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>>74316098
*FREEZE FRAME*

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>>74316098
>so i guess you're wondering why i think i deserved the win

>>74316157
fucking why, she's the one settling and you shouldnt really gaf beyond knowing she's with some dork

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>>74316098
>i won 3 rounds

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>>74316144
Maybe it's because 2/3s of Brunson's total strikes came in those two not particularly damaging clinch flurries while Anderson was the aggressor the majority of the time? Ad when Bruson was the agressor he was chasing the takedown and being stuffed left right and center?

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>>74316144

forget the actual rules and answer this:

Should Hendo have got the nod over Bisping in your opinion of what constitutes a 'win'

>>74316157
>tfw I had a girlfriend who was scared of getting pregnant
>break up
>now has kid by local drug dealer

Welp I dodged that bullet

>>74316212
No, but it was heart breakingly close

>>74315835
ngannou vs lewis for the little belt ufc 211

>>74316212
No.

>>74316212

Yes, he landed more damaging strikes and came out of the fight unscathed.

>>74316212
no. 0 steaks post usada hendo lost that fight fair and square

>>74316212
>>74316229
couldn't have said it any better. bisping got really lucky

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>>74316251
All grit and determination

>>74316255
this is a 10 in bongland

>>74316212
No, check the records bud. Bisping won 3 out of those 2 rounds, even though Hendo raped Bisping multiple time with that overhand.

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>>74316167
>feeling anything for ex gfs

They should be dead to you, anon. Unless you are trying to get more pussy.

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>>74316257
no, this is

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1/2

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>>74316267

2/2

>oh for sure I was landing some good jabs and leg kicks

Also Hendo got kicked in the nuts 3 times, should have been a point deduction in there, but it was in England.

>>74315777
trips confirm. he sounds like he has a mouth full of cotton balls

>>74316259
i'm not posing the question to say hendo won

just wondering how people weigh damage done vs other factors

it was good on bisping for dodging all the follow-ups and being prepared

big reason he knocked out luke is because luke tried to get up too quick rather than recover a little first

>>74316212
Yes. At the end of the day, fighting is about 'who got beat up'. Clearly Bisping got beat up. Hendo was fine and didn't even look like he'd been in a scrap. If the guy that gets beat up 'wins', that's a problem with the judges or scoring in my opinion.

If Bisping was our friend and this was a high school fight, we'd all be trying to comfort him for having gotten beat up by telling him stuff like 'don't worry, bro! you got your hits in!'.

>>74316212
No. Bisping outboxed him almost every round

>>74316283
the only beef i have with that argument is some guys do wear damage insanely well

you could tee off on Silva for 25 minutes and most times he's not gonna look like he has a scratch on him

compared to like GSP-face

can Thor box?

https://www.instagram.com/p/BQLsl5qAVMe/
https://www.instagram.com/p/BQLsl5qAVMe/

>>74316286

jabs and leg kicks don't outweigh damage you ninny

>>74316308

Throw him in there with CM Punk

>>74316314
Damage is not in the judging criteria.

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>>74316212
No, by the thinnest of margins.

>>74316283
I kind of get where you're coming from, but I don't think anyone would be saying this if Bisping had taken the same amount of damage in the first round only. You still have to draw a line in the sand based on rounds and that fight was about as close as it can get.

>>74316308
Literally better than all of WMMA. It's crazy how much women suck at striking.

>>74316308
Lmao what a shit jab i'd light that goof up

>>74316321

Yes it is. That's how Hendo won round 1.

>>74316326
here's more

https://www.instagram.com/p/BKJp054BzP7/

his leg kicks sound OK

head is on a platter but he is also hitting pads

>>74316330
Sauce on damage being in the judging criteria?

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>Literally better than all of WMMA. It's crazy how much women suck at striking.

>>74315777

I mean, he's been marblemouthed for a long time but I think he's def gotten worse.

>>74316333

stuck in the mud

>>74316338
t. amateur womanlet MMA fighter who handle the truth

>>74316348
>>74316338
> can't
dammit fuck all of this, fuck u

>>74316345
who is the biggest non-MMA fighter but relatively-in-shape celeb could Conor knock out?

i dont think he could knock out shaq for one

>>74316046

Heem'd or ded?

>>74316348
dude what did women ever do to you lol?

>>74316046
double teeps to the guts brought into play thanks to the tail

>>74316353
>i dont think he could knock out shaq for one

I think he could. I thought it was already established that being big and weighing more doesn't mean you automatically can beat everyone smaller than you.

A 260 lbs guy just got knocked out by someone who could fight at MW just a few weeks ago. Come on.

>>74316356
When a guy with 3 months of boxing training already has better striking than all of WMMA, something is wrong.

>>74316364
at some point you run into a hoost/sapp type situation though

conor would have to jump to reach shaq's chin, and he'd be giving up over 100lbs easy

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>>74316257
hater

>>74316372
dude he's just hitting pads haha, anyone can look good hitting pads, answer the question

>>74316321
Not literally the word damage, but impact is.

>>74316383
> Obey
His son needs to browse >>>>/fa/, because that is hideous

>>74316364
Shaq beat up Shane Mosley, though.

>>74316336

>Effective striking

>>74316343
his interviews after the mcgregor fight have been terrible. I dont know if its a good idea to fight mcgregor again

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>my las' fight my coaches caught me a bad time when erry'body was drunk n axe me iffuh want to fight Travis I say yea I fight eem, so but yeah

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>tfw 6'3" and fit
>zero fight skills

heem me heem

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>>74316410
DONT BE GIVIN ME THAT LOOK WHITE BOY

>>74316410

>I be causing problems at home mang cause I'm always in beast mode I ain't finna tryna fight in 3 months man I need to clear mah mind you know? can't be causing problems at home.

>>74316410
>Cruz
Just reminded me that Cruz is very articulat,e but in his twitter posts, he typ lik diz. y is it so annying>>??

>>74316408

His nose sounds busted, but in terms of before/after mcgregor, he doesn't sound different

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>>74316417
>mfw I give my wife and kids 5 rounds of hard sparring cause I'm in the fight game and I'm in beast mode and I been in beast mode finna roun bout like tree monfs now n like sheeit mang bit aint ha' muh dinn' re' cuh ly' she' may'

HEEM ME

>>74316433
lmao

>>74316433

Derrick ain't no woman beater....now where ronday rousey fine azz at?

where adan fine azz wife at?

>>74316364
Shaq's been training BJJ for a decade. He would unironically destroy Conor.

Is Uncle Dana gonna cut Lewis for talking about his waifu like that?

>>74316449

He's probably gonna make him fight Cain now.

>>74316449
Dana looks like he has a cuckold fetish desu

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>>74316433
>"i didnt beat my wife"
>"I DONT CARE"

>>74316455
Hapa is the posterchild for /r/hapa

I could unironically heem Black Beast

>>74316469

what are your stats and fighting accolades?

>>74316477

6'1", 236 lbs, 12-0 kickboxing, two time state golden glove winner, 2nd degree BJJ black belt

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dc vs stipe

who you got /heem/?

>>74316486
Have you got that immigrant mentality?

>>74316489
DC

>>74316486
BLack beast probably weights around 280 bud, he would unironically heem you by "swangin n bangin"

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shoulda got a neck tat 2bh

>>74316489
Stipe's got that immigrant mentality

>>74316511
Is it possible to turn this chicken shit into chicken salad?

>>74316511
So this is the true power of CTE...

>>74316486

lol you're smaller and weak as piss

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>>74316543
>>74316518
imagine getting tattooed by this nu-male fuckhead

can't sleep lads. want to roll so badly but the gym is closed. what the fuck do i do

>>74316576
Play instructional videos into headphones while you sleep. Omelette du fromage style

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>>74316576
wack your spicy boner

>>74316576
Go find a hobo and pay him 5 bucks to roll with

>>74316597
She was genetically modified to be wife material

>>74316576

rewatch UFC 208

Khabib will heem snappy Tony.

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>>74316383
MISTAH POOPY PANTS IS GONNA GET NOKED DE FOOK OUT. BELIEVE U ME BUDDEH.

>>74316639
Khabib is getting his neck snatched in the second after getting hit with an illegal upkick.

>>74316639
please dont use memes that you are not familiar with

>>74316212
Yes, easily won rounds 1 and 2 on knockdowns and should've been scored the 5th. Bisping should be embarrassed that a geriatric made him look like he'd been sent through a car window. Nice going, "champ". Romero will take his lunch money.

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>>74316511
>>74314817
You call those bad tattoos?

>>74316639

Khabib is going to sleep via meme-choke

>>74316643

white people so weird man what kinda hair color that supposed to be now?

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>tfw this slut was in your city yesterday and you were too tired from work to get her to sign your dick

>>74316383
What is Yoel going to do to his wife and daughter?

>>74316744
She should be in the kitchen making apple pie for her children and her tradeworking husband who should be coming through the door any minute

I just can't take any fighters middleweight and below seriously like lol I'm 6'3" and jacked what's some 185 lb 5'9" guy going to do to me in a fight? I'd laugh in his face

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>>74315777

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>>74316725
Jesus

Lads, do I go to Glory 38 or Bellator 175? I can only go to one

>>74316791
>Rampage v King Mo 2
I don't even know who's booked for Glory 38, but it cannot possibly be worse.

My friend and I were thinking of going to Bellator depending on how much the tickets cost.

>>74316799

i know you didnt just post that

>>74316859
Yes I doot, yes I doot

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jon

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you can't even meme correctly doot
you can't even meme correctly doot

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>>74316884

how many steaks do you think the rigg ate after his win

>>74316887
you are just as bad as this guy>>74316884, kill you are selfs

>>74316890
how do you know its not both me?

>>74316884
Shieeeet, it is what it is. Fuck what ya'll talking bout. Heart of a champion.

>>74316887
Why can't you just accept that as a meme, you fucking bitch. You post that shit everyday

>>74316889
judging by the glorious victory i'd say no less than 3 steaks MINIMUM

>When adan latches onto your memes and adds his unfunny somali-canadian spin to it

Sad!

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>>74316887
look at you waiting in the shadows like an autist, you are just like coral springs

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>>74316901
Don't drag me into this.

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>>74316872
>DC may have been too smart to win

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>>74316901
im just playing some mgs 5 friend

wonderboy is a boring fighter

@74316928
Here's your (you), now go to bed jonny

>>74316928

Agreed.

>>74316928
Headkicks ko's are boring now?

>>74316749
kys

>>74316950
Did you only watch webms of his kos? The guy literally can't brawl he'll always slip out and create a distance instead of standing and banging. He just relies way too much on point striking and that can get pretty boring

>>74314778
it's like even the coat is calling him a manlet

>>74314788
hairboy sure fucked up that Brazilian

>>74314889
damn, what's Cody's reach?
about 24 inches?

>>74317106
Don't make fun of a UFC champion

>>74317106
probably the same as Hendricks

>>74315687
the black Tank Abbott
with a future that's just as bright

>>74317082
Nice opinion you got there casual.

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kek, rogan inadvertently ended milo's 15 minutes of fame

fucking KEK

>>74316212
fuck no
Hendo stood around waiting to unleash an overhand right like fucking old man Liddell
he deserved the L for wasting everyone's time

>>74316901

>coral springs

what is the meme on this

also, who's the first UFC fighter to hit late symptoms of CTE first? Of the guys currently competing I'd say Cerrone or the Diaz brothers

*pulls you in closed guard *

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>>74316283
>At the end of the day, fighting is about 'who got beat up'.
this would mean that until the very end of his career BJ Penn won every fight he was in because he doesn't show damage no matter how much punishment he takes, whereas GSP lost every fight because he looks as if he's been beaten half to death just from pulling on a cashmere sweater.

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>>74314935
>>74314946

>>74317150
*teleports to mount*

>>74316489
dc

>>74317149
Someone from hw or lhw
Travis Browne most likely

>>74317082
Agreed.
He's the white Lyoto Machida.

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>>74317152
why would someone from gamefaqs that wants to discuss video games be on /sp/

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>>74317149
>also, who's the first UFC fighter to hit late symptoms of CTE first

heavyweights cuz they are already old by default and take way more punishment blow for blow

overeem has suffered some pretty vicious KOs, but the dutchman still seems to have it together

>>74317149
Absolutely Nog.
He built his career on just taking unlimited damage until he could get himself in position for a win.
No wonder he feeds carrots to horses.
Sad.

>>74317152
>>
Gaia online was my shit

>>74316421
There is a character limit on twitter

>>74317167
He's gonna be Ali and be worse than everyone else in his 40s

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>>74316144
>Derek Brunson
more like Derek Runson

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this is one of the most satisfying heems of all time

prove me wrong

you cant

>>74317167

Because the Reem is dutch, I can't tell if his accent causes the slurring or the punch drunkness. That being said he seems to be keeping everything together. He also had a pretty long kickboxing career.

>>74317168

I'm willing to bet anyone who survived PRIDE is probably the most at risk.

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Is Travis rip in pieces?

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>>74314786

I'd like to "fuck" Julianna Pena if you know what I mean

>>74317247

Definitely Bellator'd, not so much WSOF'd

>>74317250
She looks unusually sexier here,but I agree. Penna is fucking underrated. Plz post more

>>74315664
>win interim title
>champion literally refuses to defend his belt
>going once
>going twice
>Stripped!

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>no press conferences

Whens press conferences lads

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>>74317262

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>le literally black twitter irl man

>>74316489
You can really tell which fighters got their face scanned for the videogame

>>74317272
>>74317272
she'd be 10x hotter if her head wasn't so damn big

>>74317286

to be fair, that's an older version of the game

>>74316725
I'm going to need /heem/s top cryptologists to help me decipher what that actually says
Crazy White something

>>74317272
ahah get armbar'd tranny skank

>>74317149
It's Gary Goodridge
Arguably a Pride guy but he started off in the UFC.

>>74317297
>crazy white girl
can't decide if this is worse than cains tattoo

>>74317297
Use your deductive reasoning skills, you fucking kiwi.
> crazy white girl

>>74316950
>dude standup is always exciting lmao
Though I don't think Wonderboy is that boring

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>>74317250
>>74317262
>>74317272

>>74317306
>>74317311
That was my first thought but I figured what you're saying is a G is actually a J due to the other words being capitalised

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>>74317324

Fukken saved

>>74314757
wsof card is on the 18th

>>74317462
>comments
Some people take MMA way too seriously.

>>74317462

I feel like Werdum is hilarious sometimes, but other times his jokes are incredibly awkward and not funny

>>74317497
I love Hunt's facebook

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I was hoping to inspire some social media maymay dump but I need to get to bed anyways

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>>74317497

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https://youtu.be/T_NzErHdngk

stockton

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>>74317530
I saw Mark Hunt at a grocery store in Sydney yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.

He said, “How bout u go an fuck off out of my face then u peice of shit u think I need a stupid fuckwitt like you asking me about photos who the fuck are u take your worthless phone and get the fuck out of here”

I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him say "UFA" as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like eight pigs stacked over his shoulders without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the pigs and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence you cheating fake ass monkey,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each pig and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

>>74317509
kek

imagine if adam silver or whoevers in charge of the nfl did stuff like this

>>74317583

>tells the story
>realises at the end that he actually got fucked up in the fight
>admits it
>...
>BUT THEY WERE BOTH 240LBS

lel