Things that never ever happen in a sawker match

a flyover. seriously, i don't know why you lads don't do these, they get your blood pumping like a fucking hydrant

Correct decisions

heterosexual behavior

an ad break every 50 seconds

african americans getting a free pass to play based on the colour of their skin

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>>65256932
Masculine sportsmanship, athleticism, an American taking charge and doing something or anything else that could be considered admirable or exciting.

Complexity and strategy. I played soccer for 8 years. It's fun, but it's about as deep as a kiddie pool.

>>65256932
arsenal winning a european cup

>>65257045
But Americans don't like thinking too much.

>>65257045
how do you know how deep a kiddie pool is?

you a pedo m8?

>>65257045
That's code for "I played soccer for 8 years and i sucked."

>>65256932
Scoring.

>>65257162
sawker match, not your sexual history.

>>65257045

>players have to make decisions on the spot

as opposed to

>players literally spend the majority of the game deciding which play to make (concussionegg)

Real, legitimate injuries

>handpeek.gif

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>>65256932
An entire match is played without a dive.
>>65257215
>I've never seen or played American Football before, but let me tell you all about it.

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>>65257238

>>65256932
An entire game gone without a player intentionally falling to draw a foul

>>65257194
Epic.

>>65256932
A mass shooting

>>65256963

Their armed forces don't have the extra cash to pay sports leagues to advertise for them. And Euros are kind of paranoid about that type of militaristic chest thumping anyway, because of the World Wars and all that.

>Implying soccer is a sport
Nothing happens in soccer
>What is "football"

>>65256932
Fun.

>>65257266
that's scum cancerelona tho, its different

>>65257723
RARE FLAG

>>65256932
A shot that can win the game if it's hit, or lose the game if it's missed.

Also, I think you should get 0.1 points for a corner kick.

>>65258635
>A shot that can win the game if it's hit, or lose the game if it's missed.

Can happen in a two-game tie when it comes down to away goals, pleb

>Also, I think you should get 0.1 points for a corner kick.

Thats just stupid.

Bucket of burgers

>>65256932
Non-complaining Americans

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>>65257715
Is that why we have the greatest aerobatic display team in the world then?

>>65257045
>I don't even know what I'm talking about after eight years

I'd like to add that football in the top league is not like the football that the entire country watches and plays. If you dive (flop) in the overwhelming majority of football matches, the other team will be angry at you, the supporters will abuse you, your teammates will be disdainful of you, and the referee will caution you.

Having played sunday league for years this is what happens. The only people who dive are eighteen year olds with a god complex who fantasise that man united scouts are secretly watching pub football to unearth gems.

Oh and then they get kicked relentlessly by the other team for the rest of the match.

American obsession at 3am.

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>>65259716
this
Red Arrows fly over Olympic torch at 2.25
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKlcaDwQiIY

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>>65260001
>FA Cup Final

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>>65260050
>pissing off the taigs

>>65260001
That 'commentary' is the low point of Barry Davis's career. Babbling senile bullshit.

He should have just shut up until it went live and smug Beckham appeared.

>>65257033
>athleticism
>actually believing that American football requires more athleticism than football

>american football
>play for 10 seconds then fall to the ground
>rest for 2 minutes
>repeat

Entertainment

>>65259832
interdasting

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someone not falling on the ground for no reason

a player not showcasing their homosexuality

a foreigner not being excited by something that someone in a country that has food would be bored by

Playing a double header

>>65256932
Team relocation

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>>65256932

>>65260757
Tasteless pun if you're watching the spurs Colchester game

>>65260898

how bout a webm m8

>>65256932
A team taking it easy on another team out of "sportmanship", just because they're in a big lead and the game is gone.

>>65261147
why be sporting when you can rub it in their faces.
Look at SASpurs@GSW, 30 points and still scoring

>>65261750
it's actually an american thing to take your foot off the gas and switch in a bunch of bench players when the game is won, instead of driving up the score

>>65262000
That's more in the nature of the sport than anything cultural, in my opinion.. If you cannot do more than 3 subs, you can't really do a platoon swap. If football coaches could, they would. They would also like to save their good lads when up four goals or something.

excitement
sportsmanship

Soccer is for faggots

>>65258635
>Also, I think you should get 0.1 points for a corner kick.
Similar idea I had is .25 of goal everytime you hit the post.

>>65256932

A stop for a commercial.

>>65262184
instead there are advertisments plasterd on the jerseys and there are literally animated LCD screens on the field of play displaying ads. how ridiculous is that.

a single millisecond where you not exposed to an advertisement via jersey ads or animated billboards on the sidelines

>>65262263
>A stop

>>65257272
You mean like the NBA?

>>65262534
Nobody cares about jigaboo jam

>>65257045
This post most accurately explains why America will never be good at soccer

>>65262184
>what is halftime

>>65259716

>the greatest aerobatic display team in the world
literally the most useless debate

>>65256932
honest outcomes

Excitement

>>65260898
I had no intention anon, I meant it in the baseball fashion of playing two games in one day.