I've tried OKC and tinder, because outside world dating was failing me. OKC landed me with nothing but autism and 60+ year old men wanting me to be their barely legal sugar baby or something. Tinder has been a bust so far since I'm not looking for a one night stand. I'm growing to accept my fate of dying alone.
>>23274276 OKC has worked for me it just takes a lot of time, especially as a guy. If you are female you just need to sift through the guys you find physically attractive, talk to a few of them till you find a good one. As a guy you need to message 50 girls to get 20 replies if you are handsome and then you need to compete with the other 50 guys each of those girls is messaging.
IRL mostly. It works better than people give it credit for. Just be pleasant to be around. I've punched above my weight in women my whole life and never resorted to cyber dating and have still gotten more action than I feel I should rightly expect, based on my (slightly above average, though barely) appearance, spectacular lack of financial stability and quirkiness.
>>23274293 Eh if you're just looking to get laid maybe, but even still I'd say its tit for tat. If you're a solid 4 your chances of hooking up with the 10/10 dude is probably still very slim. You're competing with the other more attractive girls always, dudes will always bang the hot chicks before coming to the uglies for a half hearted after bang. But I'm not looking for sex really, and I advertise that as to not waste anyone's time. I try to be courteous about that shit. I'll just say though I'd kill to have 50 guys clamoring for my attention. In reality I'm lucky to get 2 or 3's attention for longer than 5 minutes. But then again I'm not very attractive so it's no surprise. Usually I get about 2 messages out before a hotter more DTF woman comes along and takes them away. It is what it is. Honestly I think were all more alike than it seems. Sex isnt the problem its attractiveness. If you're an 8+ you're gonna have an easy time getting laid. If you're below a 5 you're fighting off every single person who outranks you, whether you're a man or a woman. Only difference I'll give you is men are at least more likely to fuck ugly women for the lulz, but not many women actually feel good about being a pity/lulz fuck. At least I don't, I'd rather just masturbate and probably have a better time anyway. >>23274398 Probably not lol, which is the other reason tinder failed me. Tinder is not for the type of people who live in tiny ass country towns for most of the year. Even being on a college campus couldn't save me from only getting 2 new dudes to even look at a week. And 80% of them are middle eastern exchange students.
I'm in a weird sort of twist. Married to a woman with whom we have discussed polyamory, she had a boyfriend who she dumped because he couldn't understand that she didn't want sex. She wants me to find a girlfriend even though she only has me.
Trouble is, I don't even think I'm over a 5, and just try to get a woman to believe that you're married but encouraged to date even if you're an 8 or better.
>>23274576 Its not that I don't want sex per se, but that I don't want stranger sex. I mean, I'm a virgin so I'm particularly wary of having that awkward "probably going to be painful and suck for everyone involved" first time with just some random asshole. Rather it be someone who knows and understands me ya know? But also because I question if I'm even capable of having sex, since I'm too tight to even be fingered. Which, if thats the case I'm killing myself because I am not going to live like that. But I see where your wife is coming from. My issue if I am completely incapable of having penetrative sex is that it would pretty much cripple my chances at even getting married, because I'm sure finding a dude whos willing to stand at third base his whole life is going to be like finding a unicorn. (Props to you if you are one) But I honestly can't see myself sharing either, although I've thought about it, because I'd be convinced he'd fall in love with her and leave me anyways. After all she'd be the whole package, someone to love and to fuck, where as I could only be half that (and from what I've seen not the important half). I've had a complex about feeling second best my whole life really tho, so thats just me. But yeah, thats a very unique situation although there's a lot of like, swingers and couples who are into 3somes and shit at least if you're into anything like that.
>>23274637 Sorry, I was unclear, she didn't want sex with him specifically. She and I still do.
Sorry to hear about your troubles. Have you spoken to a doctor about that? There might be something they could recommend. Alternately, you could always work on gradually stretching using your smallest finger.
>>23274637 I hope I don't come off as a total asshole, but.....
Get yourself some lube and a few different vibes. Get some porn or whatever is going to get you turned on. Then lube up and get into it. Don't give up, that's the most important thing. If you can use a tampon then you can be fingered.
And you can always try anal play to, as a standby option.
Oh and try the "system jo" lube. It works really great! ;)
>>23274758 Ah I see. I havent really talked to my doctor, I don't think she'd take me seriously given my age. Like its not a problem that a 20 year old can't have sex, I don't need to be having sex, come back when you're 30 and can't have sex. But seeing a doctor is about all I havent tried. >>23276207 I can't use a tampon. I never have been able to, aside from maybe once when I was 12 for about 30 seconds before the pain and discomfort made me decide I didn't want to go swimming that badly. I've tried everything. Nothing goes in, everything hurts/burns. Basically I'm holding out hope that the intimacy of actually being with another human being will loosen me up enough, but I can't do anything penetrative wise myself. Last dude I was with got about a little more than fingertip in before I flinched. It was like he was hitting a wall, if I had to describe it. But I had literally met that guy that day and didn't really expect to go that far, so I wasn't exactly prepared. I don't really see anal in my future either, I can hardly take a shit without tearing my asshole and bleeding and its not like I have some crazy diet or anything. Plus its a rather large turn off for me in general.
>>23276438 Yup, everyone always says college is for going to parties and socializing and making connections and all that noise, my college life for the past 3 years has been: >Go to class >come straight home >do some homework >stare at a wall for a while >go to bed. All my school has to offer is about 50 different kinds of yoga classes. Which is a tacofest and not exactly a great place to meet guys. Everyone else goes to the bars but America's shitty priorities ban me from going for another half year at least. This is what I get for taking a bullet for my sister by going to the really cheap school so she could go to the expensive one out of state in a cool city with lots to do and lots of like minded people. And I'm here with the "gud ole fashion cuntry boies" in hicksville where everyone is convinced they're a cowboy and their giant ass monster truck doesn't scream "I'm overcompensating"
>>23276469 Well that surely sux. Word of advice tho, try to find a job in a city after you finish the school. I dropped out of the college and now work from home which is pretty fuckin sweet but it also means I have literally no contact with the real world and/or other people. Good luck, you seem like a cool anon.
>>23276682 Lol I'm planning on applying for JET after graduation and teach english in Japan. If not that then I'm planning to apply on military bases to teach because I really just wanna get out of the country and see the rest of the world. I'm a high school education major, which unfortunately is also a female dominated career so idk how well I'll find a date through work, but its possible. But yeah, if I am getting stuck in the states I'll def be looking into higher populated cities, but not like big inner city shit schools lol. >>23276744 Out of curiosity I'm genuinely asking, what about that whole spiel is attractive to you lol? Is it like your fetish or something?
>>23276773 Where do you go anon? We have the opposite problem, I'm at a stem school notorious for being full of dudes. Sweaty engineering dudes. It's in a big city though so I do always find stuff to do. It's just that the only people to do it with are male friends
>>23276947 I'll put it this way, the only major grocery store in town is a Super Walmart and there's literally a cow farm across the street from it. Oh and the biggest event that everyone who lives there waits patiently for every year is the county fair where they can catch the tractor pull demolition derby. I wish I were kidding, every year the whole town flocks to this park to watch tractors beat the shit out of other tractors. Pic related. Don't get me wrong, my school's population is pretty 50/50 male female wise, but there's just not many in general. And the dude pool to pick from is usually dominated by this one mentality (the "good ole fashion country farm" boy) which isn't anything I'm attracted to. Also since I'm in a major that is dominated by women, meeting guys in class is near impossible. I think there's usually a total of 5 guys I see on the regular because they're in the same major as me. For every 1 dude in my major there's 4 thirsty girls all fighting for the scraps and at least half of them are more attractive than I am. So getting out there and meeting people, male or female, is a little difficult in my situation. A.) because there's absolutely nothing to do if you're under 21 and B.) because there's just not as many people around to begin with. At least when may rolls around I can make alcoholism my new hobby and numb the crippling loneliness at one of the 20 bars that encircle campus.
>>23277553 Hah, thats what my parents say "All of Iowa isn't Ottumwa, anon!" But Ottumwa still fucking sucks lol. Anyways I figure why not, I'll take you up on your friendship offer, my skype is socweeb. I can only do text tho, my cam is shit.
What about apps like Twitter and Instagram? There are loads of cute girls on there and theres not as much pressure for romantic shit. Has anyone ever sent a DM? If so how did it turn out and how did you go about doing it?
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