22/m/ny I dont know, i dont like to just walk up and start a conversation with someone i don't know, expecially a cute girl im trying to flirt with. i dont have too big of a problem talking once it gets started though. I also dont like to open up to people so its hard for me to get close to others, even when i want to be. =/
My standards are too high. I could have a lot of friends and girlfriends. More than I would even have time for, and that could be really nice.
But honestly, I just don't like friends that are bores and average girls. Of course, this is a perspective thing. But it's hard to truly like people that you've never had to chase. There's a high in getting the dreamgirls and the exciting friends. It's like chasing status rather than companionship, but when I know I can have both why not try to get both?
20/f/tx I'm withdrawn. I don't talk about shit easily. My past boyfriends were intimidated that I'm so set in what I want to do. The people around me are boring and pretend to know what I am interested in.
I recently ended a relationship with a girl that I was seeing for 7 months. It ended in a pretty stupid way and mistakes were made but it was over anyway so there wasn't any going back to it.
But the main issue was that I had never had a girlfriend before that for my entire life, I'd never chased girls in school as I had almost no interest in any. And the ones I did fancy never fancied me back so for a long time I never really tried because I thought I'd be rejected anyway so what's the point.
So now after losing a girl that I guess I did love, is it really going to take me another 10 years of my life to find someone who I truly felt in love with? I don't even know if it'll happen again, it might one day but I doubt it.
>>23157102 >be interesting, lots of interests and experience and good conversationalist >actively seek engaging with people >always be the one to keep the conversation going, always the one to approach people, always put effort into geting to know the person well before making judgment
>still trying even though it has all faied so far, most are too bland and basic to fall for, but at least some are good enough to keep as friends
>18/M/NJ I can only assume I'm not interesting enough to keep people's attention. Talking to girls is easy, but holding a conversation's hard. Either that or I'm just hideous. (ignore the manga, por favor)
>>23157102 Here's a picture just for you. >>23157097 I'm sorry to hear about your break up, and I hope that you find hapiness with someone! >>23157093 It can be good to work things out internally, but letting go of your reservations and allowing yourself to open up can help in connecting better with someone. If you're driven you'll have no hard time finding someone accomodating to your standards, maybe in a different place? >>23157079 >>23157029 >>23156952 Y'all need to have a threeway. >>23156901 >quality material You could stop treating people like bags of meat and that would probably help. >>23156900 It's hard to find yourself in midst of everyone's expectations and view, but you sound like a genuine person, so don't worry so much about being your open self. If it's natural for you to hold back a little bit, just accept that as your pace and someone good for you will give you the patience needed.
>>23157172 Im awkward and full of self doubt. Pretty far from amazing to be honest, and i cant speak for anyone else in this thread but im most likely the reason im not in a relationship. In fact, i know i am.
>>23157141 >You could stop treating people like bags of meat and that would probably help. You would be treated like something other than bags of meat when you submitted sufficient proof that you are more than bags of meat.
>>23156952 You can't have friends or girlfriends, because no one wants to be around some jerk off cock face like you. Grow up, be an adult and accept the fact that the world is not anything like you think.
>>23157326 Most people who think this are uninteresting, vapid, amoral garbage though. Parameters can be set to objectively judge a person's worth: how intelligent they are, how strong their moral values are, what skills they possess, how honest they are, etc.
>>23157327 >insufficient >quality It has nothing to do with having standards or goals, but the way you express that. I'm getting at the fact that you act like someone has no value unless they meet your standards, which, from the way you've said and defended your standpoint, are likely completely convoluted and unrealistic due to some superiority complex or disappointment from your lack of ability to connect with others. I don't mean that I'm alone because I'm "shit", but that because of people like you who hold yourselves over others terrible things have happened and make it physically impossible. I'm sure this is only fueling your idea of holding standards, and will only get me roasted for being so open about it, but maybe you'll grasp the concept.
>>23157375 By the way, your entire argument just now was "I'm shit, but it's your fault for judging me. Judging is the real problem here." You're just another piece of shit millennial who should commit suicide and help cleanse the planet of human filth.
>>23157390 Better or worse is subjective in the long run, but you weren't wrong saying that there are objective good or bad qualities to a person. It's a thin line, but skating that by using such dehumanizing terms is a sign of a lack of empathy and a surefire way to spot an egoist. There is no truth in naming anybody as lesser, you'd be more approachable and probably very happy with someone if you found humility.
>>23157434 >Better or worse is subjective in the long run No, it really is not. And that is the crux of your problem and the world's. In the long run and over the larger scale (all people) is when the quality of a person's character counts the most. The world isn't cancer because there are too many judges. It's cancer because there are too many criminals and convicts.
>>23157396 My argument is that the last person that spoke in the exact manner that you have, and displayed the same inhumanity is the same that raped me as a kid and burned the image of a small trailer room into my sleep to a point that I realize what touch can be and is. I'm not shit, I'm a wonderful and vast person, but that does not change anything. You can judge people, that's your own opinion and you have every right to set goals for yourself and your future, but being such a pompous asshole is nothing to be proud of. If your standards are so high your comprehension should be well enough to do more than pick out the words that fit your argument and piece the entire post together in a rational way, but apparently you're unfounded in even that way.
Posted originally to talk to other people dealing with loneliness, but this is disgusting, have a fucking bump.
>>23157486 >Acts superior >Is rapist Well that person failed test #1 by being a violent criminal, so your argument falls pretty flat. That's your baggage. Reality is still reality. Sorry I can't muster more pity for you, but I pretty much despise humanity at this point.
23/F/midwest I was in a long distance relationship for 6 years, broke up 5 months ago. I'm afraid to start a new relationship, I don't know what to do. I'm awkward as fuck and I don't really know that many people. I was talking to a guy on twitter for a few weeks but he stopped responding. There are a couple guys that come into my work that I think are attractive, and are nice but I'm too scared to flirt. I don't want to make them feel awkward. Plus I don't even know what I want, so I don't want to lead them on, even if they did give me their number or something. I honestly just want someone to cuddle right now.
>>23157097 Sorry for the loss of your relationship. Can I ask, what is it that is stopping you from seeing someone new? I am not asking to be rude, just curious.
I was left at the beginning of last summer, and to be honest I am terrified of starting over again and likely reliving memories I made with my ex. I realize now how risky a relationship is and the whole thing just gets me down and makes me not want to date.
>>23156597 27/m/usa my past scares people. i've basically stopped acknowledging it with partners so they don't know who i used to be. i try to live in there here and now. everyone wants to pass judgement on who you used to be.
>>23157595 How do you feel about just trying to find yourself for now anon? If you don't know what you want, then I think that makes it very hard to start any kind of dating relationship. Could end in more hurt feelings and problems than necessary. It is tough, though, especially if you are lonely and want to have some type of closeness or intimacy with someone, but you might find it to be beneficial in the long run to work on you. Are you otherwise happy with where you are in life right now?
>>23157972 i grew up in detroit. my ex and my daughter both passed away. lots of crazy shit happened. i'm just a regular nerd these days. employed. i play music. i keep it simple and try to be peaceful.
>>23156597 21/M/BRA I guess i just didnt let myself love. In 21 years I never had any kind of relationship, and im kinda handsome desu. I was fine with it back then, but its driving me insane now that im aging. Feels like my life is passing right in front of my eyes and im doing nothing about it. Felt attraction/deep connections for the first time last year, unfortunately for a close straight friend. It happened when we were talking about the true search for happiness, and boy i know him since we were 12 yo. Who would have thought... Seeking for clearance about my sexual orientation since that day. Just wished I could feel this connection/urge more often. Cant wait another 21 years. >>23157972 ty
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