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It's 2 in the morning and I feel like dying
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It's 2 in the morning and I feel like dying

I've run out of motivation and distractions to keep myself "happy" I don't even have a reason to be sad. I'm just existing.

Anyways. Feels. Faces, music and contact info welcome
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>>23153232

Nah dude. Chill.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cTJTh7JiKwM

Talk it out. What's up?
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>>23153245
Like I said I have no reason to feel this way. I have friends. Maybe not good friends but at least they're there. I'm social. I go out. Its just empty and I feel like my life isn't going anywhere.
No offense bro but his voice is really annoying
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>>23153260

No offense taken. You dont have to like what I like. Can I ask how old you are? Because I'm 28 and I went through a very similar thing when I was in my early 20s.
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>>23153280
I'm 18 but I've had these problems since I hit 15. My first year of college has been pretty bad. I don't really fit in no matter how hard I try
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>>23153232
21 here. I've tried, gone from a NEET and back several times. Had relationships, platonic and romantic. Had sex. You can force yourself there, but unless you fix the underlying issues, you can't be happy.

LSD can help.
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>>23153306
I don't really want sex. People always complicate things. The more you care the more you get hurt. I just want a nice group of friend and something I'm passionate about. Oh and LSD would be nice. I've been craving drugs more and more lately
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>>23153297

I know youve heard this a million times but it gets easier. Honestly. I never went to college but the older people get, the less of a shit they give. If you really want to meet people volunteer or just show up for groups.
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>>23153310
I've tried. I'm pretty social but I seem to close up whenever things get serious. I honestly don't know why it's so hard for me to open up to people. I just end up being the friendly person that everybody overlooks
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>>23153309
Sex is fun, and I recommend it, but only if you don't take it terribly seriously. It feels better with someone you love, but it's arguably worse in a loveless relationship than it is with a stranger. If it's something you think you'd enjoy as a curiosity, go for it. It's not hard to get laid if you 1) Don't care who it is or 2) Just relax and act normal. 4/6 of the people I've fucked were casual encounters, the other two were relationships.

Friends are nice, but not much less stress than a relationship. Online friends are a good way to ease into opening up, and if you want to make them, honestly, I've never had much luck on 4Chan. Play multi-player games where the people usually interact a bit (Left 4 Dead, Counter Strike, etc.) and add the players you like afterwards and strike up casual, non-desperate conversation. Most of them will be as desperate as you are.

Real life friends are a bit easier (facial expressions), but also harder (fucking up can actually effect you). Still, it's really nice having people to hang out with.

LSD is fun, so is weed. I've been high (weed) almost every day for two years (I was drunk almost every day before that for another year and a half), and it makes it easier to exist, but it's hard to let go. If you think life is hard now, it's 50% easier intoxicated but 7000% harder sober once you're addicted (even if it's psychological).
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>>23153306
>>23153309
>>23153331
If you try LSD (and you may want to), it's not addictive like that, but I wouldn't recommend it unless you're familiar with weed as both can cause repetitive thoughts but LSD is worse and weed can give you coping mechanisms that you just won't have if LSD is your first drug ever.

LSD is really good at tearing down barriers and letting you realize what problems are, and doing it 1-3 times could be helpful. Once to get used to the drug, two more times to get what it's trying to "tell" you. If you need to stop smoking or if you need to work on something, you can probably figure it out if you let it.

I don't know, I'm rambling a bit. I got down from a panic attack, sorry, I'm probably not much help.
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>>23153331
I was raised extremely catholic. Then all my views got dramatically changed in a half a year. Then I was in an abusive relationship at 16 and now I'm kinda stuck. That's kinda why I wanna leave sex out of the picture for a while. I also stress myself out over people I care about
>rarely see my sister who I admire a ton. Last time I visited I annoyed her. Just one of the things I can't get over
Online friend ended with blackmail cuz I was pretty naive a couple years ago. So I've been avoiding that too. I come in here anonymously.
I'm too young to get alcohol and I don't have good enough friends to ask for some. I'm a bit too introverted to seek out drugs. And no good friends to get me some. I'm just stuck
>>23153340
No you're helpful. Talking helps. And I've done tiny drugs. Sleeping and pain pills mostly so I might work up to LSD. And I get panic attacks too. They're mostly from exhaustion and stress
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>>23153384
Yeah, I understand that. I was in an abusive relationship too (I'm a dude, and it was straight btw) and it took me over a year to be willing to have sex again, and it's something I'm into.

I can understand online relationships too, but they can be beneficial if you find the right person and are safe. Avoid the tumblr crowd.

I also feel you on the family thing, I have that issue with my family.

Getting drugs is an issue, but once you have a friend who you think does drugs, ask them. They probably do, or they know someone who does. I have no clue on alcohol - I had my family buy me it before I was old enough.

Once you can get weed (super easy - again, ask someone who you think does drugs, once you make friends; if you don't' make friends, ask someone who seems skeevy af), it's easier getting other things. They can probably get you shrooms, if not LSD.

DXM is scary as shit. I don't recommend it, even low doses of it scare me more than high doses of LSD ever did.

Panic attacks never get fun. Whenever I have one, I cause shit with some body, regretting it the whole time.
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>>23153280
Same here. Late teens/early 20s are a tough time. Finding yourself isn't easy.
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>>23153260
This would be better imo
https://youtu.be/nDbeqj-1XOo
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>>23153470
Yeah I'm a straight girl and all my relationships sucked and put my anxiety through the roof some were worse than others obviously. But they all kinda ruined my trust for anyone which makes friends hard to get. I'm easily paranoid because my parents wouldn't confront me. They'd go behind my back talk to people read my messages. So now I feel like I have to hide everything and I never really learned how to confront people.
Pshh my family would never buy me drinks. They all drunk a lot. My uncle even started a brewing company. But they're super strict
The few people I would talk to about drugs definitely don't do them so...
I also went to a Catholic school. And I'm pretty sure where some of my issues came from. But I might just be avoiding the blame
>>23153488
It really isn't :/
>>23153505
Love Pink Floyd <3

Going on 3 am wooo
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>>23153516
Well, if it's any consolation, your experience is pretty normal. Commonplace, anyway. My life at your age was very similar, except I'm a straight male, which changes some details necessarily.
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>>23153597
Yeahh. I know a lot of people have it worse than me. And yeah. Being a guy does change things

Running on 3 hours of sleep :)
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>>23153232

music you say?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NAS5Z1GvxrQ

I keep listening to this song because that's exactly the kind of gunk I'm in.

I hope you can find your feels back opie. feels are good. even if the feels are occasionally not so good.
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>>23153232
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jErJimwom94
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>>23155056
That's a good one. It sounds like you're having relationship problems. Do you wanna talk about it. It always feels better
>>23155101
That one really hit me hard. But gave me some hope. Thank you
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>>23155827
>It sounds like you're having relationship problems.

hi clippy!

I don't know if they're "problems" per se

I've started 'dating' a very close friend who is part of a circle of several very good friends, and it's like walking on very, very thin ice.

technical plausible deniability all the time, signals everywhere, it's tearing me up!

but it's also very exciting.
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>>23156356
Always good to have something exciting in your life. Best of luck m8
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I'm still here if anyone wants to talk
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>>23153232
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eCMunBFFY_A
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>>23158032

go to bed girl
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>>23160193
Damn that's really deep. Thank you.
>>23160859
I did. And now I'm awake
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>>23158032
>>23161356
Are you still around? I'd like someone to talk to about possible eating problems.
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>>23162060
Yupp. I'm here.
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>>23163267
Thank you for being an open ear.
I'm concerned about my body. I'm worried that I may be thinner than I realize. I touched my ribs the other day and I recoiled when I felt the grooves between each bone. I don't know if it was the harsh lighting in my bathroom, but it looked dramatic too.
I don't look at myself and think, "I'm too fat" I know I'm thin and feel good about it. I don't feel too thin nor too fat. But yet I think it'd be nice to lose more weight. I'm 108lbs now. I'd really like to see it get to double digits. I've been there before. But I think I might have more muscle mass weighing me down now than before? Since I don't remember my ribs being so prominent at 98.
I don't really have a good reason to get to that number. I guess I want the accomplishment? It'd make me feel good about myself. I feel pretty self confident in myself, so its not like I have a poor self esteem. I just want this, for some reason.
Do you have any thoughts? I'm not really ready to talk to a professional about this. I'm getting help for other things like depression and ADD which is all very successful. I feel so much better now than I have in years. I don't want them to take away my adderall. And I don't really want to eat more either.
What's going on with me? I don't think I have an eating disorder. This isn't really what I think they look like.
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Od91ESn96YM
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Yeah same man I'm hopefully gonna end up killing myself within the year, I'd like to finish this year of college first just so people cant say i didnt do anything. but yeah i feel you.
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>>23164630
As far as the losing weight thing do it right. Eat three healthy meals a day. Low calories. And exercise about an hour a day. This is healthy and will make you feel good about yourself. And if you feel like you need to starve yourself remember that whenever you do eat it'll turn right in to fat. Also stop weighing yourself. The numbers never help. And avoid looking at your stomach. Look at your arms instead. That's where the muscle shows up the quickest ans it feels good. If you're worried about maybe having an eating disorder. Focus on eating. Try new foods. Eat more vegetables. Count calories. Also exercise helps with depression but don't go overboard on that.

Good luck friend. Stay healthy

>>23164638
That's pretty funky stuff

>>23165610
Why kill yourself after college. Once you get a degree so many doors open up. You can travel or do anything you like
>>
I have a question, is anyone still here? I kinda found this and would like to help and get some help.
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>>23165822
Sure
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>>23165857
I just need an open ear. I have been spiralling out of control for a while now. I've been living my life for others for as long as I can remember balling my problems up into this guarded shell and telling no one. I have been letting people use me for ages. My body can't handle it much longer. I collapsed yesterday trying to get to my bedroom. I collapsed this morning trying to get out of bed. I see nothing wrong with this because it was for others. I have been working at my current job for a year now and seen none of my paychecks. I see nothing wrong with this because it is helping others. I am still living with my dad because he uses all of my money. I want to go to college but know I can't because I have no money. I have no idea what to do anymore and am out of places to turn to.
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>>23165896
I know it's gonna be hard but you have to completely disconnect yourself. Find money. Save it up and leave. That's no way to be living your life
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>>23165904
I have no control over my income. I have a paycard and the account it comes with. He has the paycard. So he controls it all. I'm pretty sure he now controls the online account too. I've got no control over my life. On top of that my personal life has been a mess since a failed relationship that was three years long. Then another 3 year long relationship. I barely trust anyone anymore. I'm more like a caged animal in my mind than a person. The only time I see myself as having value is when I am helping others. I have such deep seated problems and I have pushed them off for so long that mentally I'm a wreck on top of physically being a wreck. Emotionally I'm just a pile of fucked because I am constantly suffering from depression. All I want is for someone to notice me and hug me and tell me it will be ok.
>>
Unfortunately hugging over the internet is a tough thing to do, but i can tell you that you´re going to be fine. I´m very similar to you. I had an accident 8 years ago and can´t walk and live on my own since then. I considered my life to be useless and that I´m just a bother to everyone around me. Then I realized, that just by smiling and not giving up on leading a happy life, I help many people. When I´m out in the club, people tell me that they feel better about themselves and their problems because they realize, it could always be worse. At least they are healthy. I´m not, but I still smile and laugh, so what right do they have to complain? I don´t know if I could help you with this story, but please keep fighting for yourself! There´s always a way to get things going your way.
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>>23165931

Unfortunately hugging over the internet is a tough thing to do, but i can tell you that you´re going to be fine. I´m very similar to you. I had an accident 8 years ago and can´t walk and live on my own since then. I considered my life to be useless and that I´m just a bother to everyone around me. Then I realized, that just by smiling and not giving up on leading a happy life, I help many people. When I´m out in the club, people tell me that they feel better about themselves and their problems because they realize, it could always be worse. At least they are healthy. I´m not, but I still smile and laugh, so what right do they have to complain? I don´t know if I could help you with this story, but please keep fighting for yourself! There´s always a way to get things going your way.
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>>23165674
>Good luck friend. Stay healthy
Thanks for hearing me out.
>>
For all of you guys that feel sad and feel like life has no meaning , plz watch this
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qrBj3u5dPgM
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>>23153232
Feels thread? Here ya go

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sYjy7uUn7fc

You're welcome.


Manic Street Preachers
Through early morning fog I see
Visions of the things to be
The pains that are withheld for me
I realise that I can see
That suicide is painless
It brings so many changes
And I can take or leave them if I please
The game of life is hard to play
I'm gonna lose it anyway
The losing card of some delay
So this is all I have to say
That suicide is painless
It brings so many changes
And I can take or leave them if I please
The sword of time will pierce our skin
It doesn't hurt when it begins
But as it works its way on in
The pain grows stronger watch I bring
That suicide is painless
It brings so many changes
And I can take or leave them if I please
A brave man once requested me
To answer questions that are key
Is it to be or not to be
And I replied oh why ask me
That…
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