Even though we'll likely never meet and I'm currently unavailable, I wonder if you shared the same sexual fantasy to meet and fuck after us having some playful banter back and forth occasionally for about the span of two years. We're both pretty auditory people. I'm sure we'd fufill all those fantasies and words we ever exchanged. If this one doesn't work out for some reason, I'll give you a call. Or a script.
You think I haven't gotten over us, and in a way, it's true. I still have some beautiful memories. But with how vindictive you've become, I can't help but smile now when I see that karma is working when I see you're lonely most of the time. I crossed the ocean for you, and you never pulled your weight in the relationship. Now you're reaping what you sow, and while I don't like seeing you so sad, you're not my problem anymore. I really, REALLY don't want you back. But send me my stuff back, please. To reiterate, I want my things back, not you. PS: Found someone better!
>>23136057 N sick and tired of playing these stupid games. message me on facebook if you want, or don't, my life will go on just fine either way. id like to see you but i really dont feel like doing this anymore. B
I know I'm not the adult we both thought I'd be. I'm sorry. I don't know what to do. I wish you'd let me take that year off college when I was having my breakdown. Now I'm on verge of a panic attack every second of every day. Nothing feels good. I can't enjoy anything anymore. I'm 27 and looking forward to retirement so I can curl into a ball and wait for death.
I don't see a future for myself and am thinking about ending it. I'll make sure you don't find my body if I do. If I'm lucky, some woman will take pity on me and help me find meaning in my life again.
Sometimes I wish I could talk to you again. Our time was short, but for me it was life changing and so sweet. I wonder where you are sometimes, and if you're OK. I've continued to be interested in ddlg, though I've not been able to find anyone to have a significant relationship with locally. I've kept the name I adopted when you and I were still talking. It still has meaning for me, though I wonder sometimes if I am clinging to something I lost by keeping it. Maybe you will see this. Part of me thinks you will, that you are a guardian angel watching over me. If so, then maybe I will blow you a kiss! Be well my friend. Love, -Captain
>>23141282 I just lost my dad to suicide 6 months ago, it consumes every moment of my life. I think about it 24/7, I imagine his last breaths and his last thoughts and all of the things I should have done differently. It weighs down on me every moment of my life and I don't think it will ever stop. My mom is having an even harder time dealer with it, at this point she's basically an empty shell who is just shuffling through life. I'm not telling you that you should or shouldnt kill yourself because its ultimately your choice, but I just want you to know that if you love your mother (or anyone else close to you) you wouldnt put them through that.
I love you so fucking much but you've hurt me before and god knows I'm scared every time we talk that it'll happen again. But you bring me so much joy that it's worth the risk. I hope I can help you this time... But you gotta listen to me and be nice. And I hope we get our "someday" one day soon, cause just thinking of you with her hurts.
I'm so sad it came to this. You are the most amazing human being I've ever had the opportunity to talk to. Even though we never met, you were my best friend and partner. I know you broke it off for the greater good. I am a complete mess, and I can't have a relationship with anyone. If I can't love myself, it's harder for anyone else to love me. I will follow your advice, because it truly helps me on my journey. I'm sorry for acting like a child, I'm sorry if I put too much pressure on you, and I'm sorry for all the times I let my emotions talk for themselves. You make me want to be a better person.
>>23141308 >anonymous imageboard >posting in a thread where I cannot see face >thinking I would know if I have actually called you a 3/10 >not realising I'm saying this as you're being a bitter cunt about women on /soc/ who rated you low
>>23141335 Don't kill yourself. At least give it 24, 48 hours, something. I hope you know there are people out there that don't know the first thing about you that really want you to live. Please just try to get by for one more day.
I still love you. More than anything. I don't know what I'm gonna do when you finally decided to stop talking to me. Still, I hope you don't. I'd feel so lonely and lost. I honestly wouldn't know what to do.
What you did was absolutely pathetic and you should kill yourself because of it. You wasted my entire year when i could have been with someone who genuinely cared instead of someone who cared more about their cheating ex than me. I'm so mad at myself for being stupid enough to trust you. You're going to be single and miserable forever. :)
Sorry for being such a broke ass nigga back then and missing the opportunity to see/live with you for a bit. when we finally called it quits I was heartbroken for a while and I blame myself for not finding a job quick enough. After All I was a full on NEET back then. I finally landed in my career and i'm content on where i am but i still think of you every so often. I miss the pages of essay texts we would send throughout the day especially the comforting texts i'd get from you during my nights working kept me warm but now i can only reminisce on the thought. Whatever your doing and whom ever you're with I hope they are making you happy. Hopefully your cooking gig is going well.
I actually appreciate the friends I've made through you, but damn if I post photos of myself anymore. Literally everyone thinks I'm a trans or a slut. The idea of a sexually open girl who is very loyal to her partner is like impossible to grasp.
However, no really, I do appreciate the time passing and the friends I have made here, including the crazy one who bought a plane ticket after knowing me a week, showed up on my doorstep, and still hangs out with me to this day, he's pretty chill.
I know that our agreement was "no relationship, no expectations, no entitlements" because of our whole "no idea where we will end up this year" and not living close to each other. But I can't help but realize more and more that I'm falling for you. I'm on a one way trip to my personal hell here because I can't cut ties to you but only live from occasion we meet to occasion we meet, becoming more and more crazy for you each and every time. This will inevitably turn into an emotional car crash, but I can't help myself. I need every second with you I can get.
But in between our times together? I hate myself, I loathe myself, I want to kill myself. Why do I have to willingly hurt myself? If I ever act weird, now you at least know why.
You've been my best friend since 5th grade. We were the weird kids, the outcasts, but fuck everybody else. If being the weird kid made me friends with you, I have no regrets. As time has passed and we've done nothing but grow closer, I've realized something. I love you. I love you so fucking much it hurts.
Why did you have to flip your car? Why did you have to die? I feel like the good part of life is done, and now it's just a wait until it's over.
Dear Diary Mood: Apathetic My life is spiraling downward I couldn't get enough money to go to the Blood Red Romance and Suffocate Me Dry concert It sucks cause they play some of my favorite songs like Stab My Heart Because I Love You and Rip Apart My Soul and of course Stabby Rip Stab Stab and It doesn't help that I couldn't get my hair to do that flippy thing either, Like that guy from that band can do...Some days... I'm an emo kid, non-conforming as can be. You'd be non-conforming too if you looked just like me I have paint on my nails and makeup on my face I'm almost emo enough to start shaving my legs Cause I feel real deep when I'm dressing in drag I call it freedom of expression, most just call me a fag 'Cause our dudes look like chicks, and our chicks look like dykes Cause emo is one step below transvestite Stop my breathing and slit my throat I must be emo I don't jump around when I go to shows I must be emo I'm dark and sensitive with low self esteem The way I dress makes everyday feel like Halloween I have no real problems but I like to make believe I stole my sisters mascara now I'm grounded for a week Sulking and writing poetry are my hobbies I cant get through a hawthorne heights album without sobbing Girls keep breaking up with me, it's never any fun They say they already have a pussy, they don't need another one. Stop my breathing and slit my throat I must be emo I don't jump around when I go to shows I must be emo Dye in my hair and polish on my toes I must be emo I play guitar and write suicide notes I must be emo My life is just a black abyss... ya know..its so dark. And its suffocating me, grabbing a hold of me and tightening its grip, tighter than a pair of my little sisters jeans...which look great on me by the way.
I really miss you and am devastated that we will now probably never meet. You've made exploring my sexuality a lot harder because nobody else can compare to your wisdom and candidness. I hope you're ok and I sincerely hope you're happy now. I hope you still think about me...
I think about you everyday. You were the greatest thing that ever happened to me. My lover, my best friend, my everything. At night I can't sleep unless I repeatedly tell myself you're right there next to me in bed. I'm sorry for cutting off contact with you but it's the only way I can think of to get over you. Before I left for Idaho you said you truly wanted to remain friends. I believed you. When I got back you repeatedly shot down my attempts to get together. You said we're too different. I know I've changed since then. You would love the new me. I still love you.
> To the many people I've lost contact with through here- I don't know if you just lost interest in me, or took my demeanor as a lack of interest in you- I rarely message people first or start conversations because I'm a fgt who doesn't want to bother people with actual lives. I know I get cold and distant sometimes, and I know that it can feel like talking to you is laborious to me, but it's not. I feel like some of us could have actually been pretty decent friends, but then we just stopped. If it's something I did, I'm sorry- If you just don't like my personality, I understand- If you were only interested in me sexually, that just isn't how I am or what I'm interested in. But if any of you think it's personal, it's not. I'm always open to talk to anyone who needs it. - Dash/C
O. , I remember when everything started between us 2years ago, I talked about hentai with my group and you came in front of me and asked if you could hug me cue you were a fan too. And piece by piece we started to be friend, you didn't trust me at first and I promised you one day you would trust me at 1000%... So much memories are filling my eyes... when I helped you 4 times with your Ex, when karma wouldn't let us sleep together (Jesus we tried 9 times!) When you told me I was very important with you, when you hit me everytimes I said that your boobs was small ... And now what is left ? You just simply ignoring me without any reason... it's hurt as hell ... but if you are happy like this then be happy O. But ... I miss you so much. ... F.
I'm sorry that I made you feel as though you weren't enough. You're so intelligent, and I know I didn't ever really want to give you credit for it, because it made me feel so small in comparison, I mean I'm older than you by almost four years, you let me be the master of your world. How could I be so stupid in comparison? But you were much smarter, and a part of me wishes I could have followed your lead in the first place. Surely we’d be somewhere much greater than here. You even took my interests and melded them into your own, which is something I never did entirely for you. I wish so much now that I could watch old Disney Movies and hulu reruns with you. Please believe that, if anything. Every moment with you was so unique compared to the banality of everyday life. You've been so immensely forgiving, and gentle, and kind over the years. You're even generous, with everything that you have and everything that you are. You respected me when you didn't need to, even when you didn't want to, just because you loved me and wanted me to be happy above anything else. Even above your own happiness. You gave me so much that I could never return.
>>23147867 I always knew that you were trying your best for me, for us. I know clear and well that we'd be better off if the incident involving ‘her’ never happened, and that we likely wouldn't be where we are today. I said something the other week that wasn't true. I said that I was starting to wonder if I made the right choice in choosing you, over her. I said this because I was frightened, and unhappy. I was unsure of myself and my actions, I wasn’t thinking clearly, and that was so incredibly wrong to think. Of course I made the wrong choice, if I would have never tried for anything so damn ignorant in the first place we wouldn't be where we are today. Hiding that secret caused a lot of stress on me Cait, and I took it out on you, I took so much out on you, and I selfishly punished you for being willing to leave me, when you thought I could have been like your father. I couldn’t ever lie to you like that again, and I know that I’ve said otherwise in the past, that I would absolutely lie if I had to, to keep you. But the truth is that I wouldn’t put myself in that situation again, ever. I was scared, and out of my mind, and very truly cruel then, and I've hated myself for it since. I’d imagine that I think about it almost as often as you Cait, and I want you to know, I never forgot what I did to you, I just wanted to block it out. I was, and am weak. I wish I could be strong for you, like you thought I was, like you needed me to be for you. Like I promised you that I could be.
>>23147875 Whenever I think about our relationship, I can't think about all the horrible things I've done all the time. It's difficult to do when there are so many good memories of wonderful things you've done, and we’ve done together. It's when I start thinking about those great memories that my mind clicks, and I begin to think about all the ways that I messed everything up. Bottom line, I have so many reasons to love you, and I wish I had the heart to tell them to you before, when they mattered more. I wish that I had the guts to do something about our problems, to tell someone else about it before it was too late. I wish I wouldn't have been so scared of what people might think, or what I might lose, because in the end what I lost is you. That’s what really matters. I know you've sacrificed and lost so much to us that you must even resent it as an idea. I know that I probably would. I know you’re happier doing what you are now than when you were with me, and I really am glad for it. I’m sorry that I keep dragging you down, because really I want you to be happy so bad. If anyone deserves to be happy, it’s you. I know you feel so proud of yourself, and that it feels great to have everyone telling you that you’re doing the right thing for yourself. Especially your grandma. That's why I can understand so easily why you're gone now. In 99% of the cases you’d be doing the exact right thing. I really hope that I am the 1% you needed me to be.
>>23147877 You're better than me in every imaginable way that I can think of, and you're so perfect to my tastes that it is truly terrifying to see you leave. Because I believe that you're my soulmate, 100%. I also think that I've ruined that for good. I am not going to claim to be ‘better’ any time soon, but I do think that we were seeing the end of what was happening before we broke up. There are so many scenarios that go through my head like "If I'd never ... she'd still be with me" And they aren't going to go away any time soon, nor would I want them to. I can't NOT think about what I've done. I would also say that I think there is such a thing as being 'scared straight' and I wish that it hadn't taken that for me. Please reconsider me one day, after I can prove that I can be trusted again. You're all that I can think of. I love you. I miss you. Forever yours, Austin
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