To anyone who is depressed. And has constant thoughts of suicide.
I know that you want a way out. A safe way. A happy way. You don't want to die.
But why do you continue to keep doing the wrong things in order to make that goal even further away? why is it so hard to understand for a lot of you that nobody wants to be around somebody that's a burden on their lives?
For the people who think a relationship will fix everything: You are acting like a child. Relationships do not magically cure everything. Infact, it can make it worse.
For the men:
Why do you think having a girlfriend will solve your problems? sexual gratification isn't going to help you. Eventually you'll become bored of the other person and you'll realize the huge mistake you've made.
For the women:
A partner will not give you the emotional validation you need. There's so many beautiful women here but at the same time they seem like the kind if people that you would stay away from in a real life setting. Is that why you are here?
Now obviously both men and women can experience these desires and feelings. But instead of depression and anxiety why don't you just do what you want to do? which is expressing yourself in a positive manner.
And to those who say they are "diagnosed" with a mental disorder. I have researched a lot on the topic of mental illness's. And iv'e come to the conclusion that yes, these disorders may be real. But at the same time(myself including friends.) who had taken many medications/vices to control ones depression, was cured simply by getting out of the comfort zone and experiencing new things.
You only have so much time on this earth. Why treat everyone with hostility and treat yourself with dread when you could just try to rebuild your life?
For those who have tried, but failed: I commend you. Keep trying. It's only over when you say it's over.
The biggest critic is yourself. So who's going to win? you? or them?
I get what you mean. I should have probably went into specifics more.
I think most of the problems people have here though is usually revolved around something they could fix. They just lack the will power. Depression is crippling for sure. But it's not as bad as having cancer or something like that.
Because no matter how much someone argues, or tries to say "It's not that way!" really it's themselves that hurt the most in the end.
I think fear controls people a lot easier than we want to remember/accept. If you just stop caring and dive in, give it a try. You'll start to get used to it. When you're sad, you can't even imagine being happy. When you're happy, you can't imagine being sad.
No matter what has happened, as long as you're still here, breathing, you matter. If you think you're a lost cause due to trauma in your life. Then that's what will happen. It's the natural order of things. The strong survive and the weak die off.
And that doesn't mean the first one who can slam the other guy down and bite into their throat wins.(lol) it just means if you are difficult to be around and a lot of people don't like you, it's probably because nobody wants to deal with you.(can you blame them?)
So the best solution is self reflecting. Stop going in a vicious circle and try to break away from your comfort zone; which really isn't a comfort zone to begin with.
No matter what's happened, you can change it. But it takes time. Would you rather spend 1 year improving? or the next 40 years being in the same state you were all those years ago?
Iv'e gone through severe depression, we all have. But if you just do a little at a time and don't overwhelm yourself you'll start to see changes.
I agree. I for one have medical conditions that cause me to basically turn into an angry schizophrenic. But I was able to conquer those fears with a constant reminder to myself not to fall into the same habits.
I knew plenty of people who have mental disorders that live happy lives. Sure, it's harder to deal with having those imbalances. But it's not impossible. A lack of self education can be just as damning as a mental disorder can.
I'll give you an example:
I have a friend. I met him off /soc/ actually.
He was 360lbs, had diagnosed schizophrenea, and severe anger issues to the point where it became extremely violent.
We were good friends. But his outbursts had become mentally draining for me. One day I just said I had enough and I deleted him off skype.
4 months later, he comes back. He...seems different.
He seems skinnier, his attitude is better. Now that doesn't mean he doesn't struggle with anger still. But he ended up getting a job, moving away from his parents, and finally got laid. All he had to do was just stop feeling sorry for himself, And he had told me that it was after I denied him that he was able to reflect and change.
He was a very intelligent person. He had it in him all along. He just had to figure it out. And he did.
I think everyone here has it to. They just refuse to take that first step.
P.S: a year and a half later, my friend is now 200lbs. Amazing what a little work can do eh?
You still here OP?
I've pretty much given up on trying to save myself. Whether it be biologically, psychologically, or behaviorally, something is wrong with me. I'm a broken human being. I've come to accept this a long time ago and there's nothing I can really do to change it.
IDK why, maybe it's because I still think I can change, maybe I have a victim complex, IDK, but your post caught my attention.
I recently got out of the military due to severe depression (put in a psych ward 2x) and am now working a new job repairing computers at a friend's job (living with him and another 1 as well). It's decent, but I still feel empty.
It's not what I want to do, but then again, I have no idea what I want to do. The only thing that gets my attention is doing standup, but knowing how I am, I'd give up on that as well. I have no real motives outside of that and spend my days off, M-W, just browsing the Internet.
While my depression is nowhere near as bad as it was in the military, I still feel like the only rational thing to do would be to kill myself. Yes I've thought about the effects it would have on others and yes I understand that it could get better. But in all honesty I just don't care. Suffering with it is 1 thing, but when you just don't care anymore...
So I guess what I'm trying to get at is: WTF do I do? Do I just end it already? Do I just accept this is what my life is going to be? What? What do I do now?
Do you truly feel you would be better off dead and not existing at all that what your current life is? I mean, your current life is fine right now (similar to mine in ways but I really like games and music and all media basically) and death is so final. There's still a lot that can happen. I mean, if someone is really in a bad place and they really want to then I'd say just end yourself but I dunno about you. I'd give it time. I'm to much of a wimp anyway, and the kind of person content with just living because the idea of no conciseness is just too scary.
But yeah I'd say keep it up for a while more at least and just put up with living. Maybe get into anime.
Do I feel I'd be better off dead?
Yes. I'm 20 right now and it's the only thing I have constantly thought about and wanted since I was in the 8th grade nearly 8 years ago. I've pushed away multiple people in my life and make the situations for others around me worse. I'm essentially a never ending burden Even now with my 2 friends I can feel myself pushing them away and it'll only be a matter of time before I've alienated them as well.
>There's still a lot that can happen
There was recently a thread on /lit/ where a 37 yo dude posted on how he had nobody in his life and hadn't had contact with a woman since he was like 20. I'm sure an anon or 2 know about this and could possibly give a screen cap.
Regardless, there are plenty of people like that guy (both IRL and on 4chan right now) who aren't going anywhere and are pretty much past the point of no return. Truth be told, that anon will have maybe 5 things he can reflect on fondly by the time he's 37. He's in a state of mind that traps him where he is and there's nothing anyone can really do.
Like Doug Stanhope said, if you sat through a movie and it sucks for at least a good quarter, nobody should blame you for walking out.
I'm really sorry to hear that. In my personal opinion the Military is fucking pointless and so called "discipline" and "growth" it advocates is just a way to control people.
I understand how you feel. And not to sound apathetic but if you believe that's truly what will happen, then that is going to be your fate. Nobody is shoving your head underneath an executioners axe.
Take it from me. I don't want to go into too much personal detail about myself. But i'm not exactly the most attractive, intelligent, or even successful person. But a long time ago I met a friend who taught me to just not get involved with drama. It's not anyones job to look after you or anyone else. Same applies for you.
It's hard but you just have to accept these things take time. One day you will wake up happy but if you just keep staring at it from a distance it will never come.
People often don't like hearing cliche's. But there's a reason why they exist. And people should try to remember them more often I think.
Success really isn't about power or dominance. It's about dominating yourself and loving yourself.
I don't know what you've gone through but if it was the military that made you feel this way, I have sympathy for you. But at the same time you have worth, value. But it's only what you make it.
Life really is too short to sit around and wait for a miracle. And even if that miracle comes, how long will it stay? and will you go back into a dark place once it's gone again?
"What do I do now?"
Well what makes you happy? everyone and I mean EVERYONE deep down knows what they want. And connections can really help with that. But you have to let go of your pride,fears, ect,
It's nice to get compliments and such. But just remember those are temporary band aids for your real problems. The successfull people in the world, the philosphers, the scientists, all the people who instead of sitting around and moaping or hurting other people, took the initiative to do something.
Well, I wouldn't tell you to not commit suicide then. But I would tell you to be more selfish and don't worry about being g a burden to others. Everyone should value their happiness (within reason) over the happiness of others and you should be your own most important person.
Good point, but there is still a lot that could happen. Of course, that's only a chance and isn't always the case but we can't exactly know that. I guess it also depends on where we are deriving your happiness from. I could be at the same place that guy is at his age but I'd be very happy with all the games I'd played and anime figs I'd collected etc.
Also I did see that screencap on r9k, pretty sad.
Love all the idiots who think a women will turn their life around. Nope if anything its the dude that saves the girl.
Its like you guys are becoming women and need someone to find you attractive to find worth.
>girls on /soc/ are the type you stay the fuck away from they will eat your soul
Are you introverted and avoidant? Do you have crippling depression? Are you extremely cynical and negative? Are you poor? Do you have a horrendous personality like me?
Looks are one thing, I have a disgusting personality and mental unstable as fuck. I'm sure it would put off girls more than my looks.
Yes, yes, no (but my gf has been), often, very much so, and I can't really comment on the personality. I mean, yes you are a more extreme version of me and I'm not saying it's easy but it's possible.
Yeah I'm sorry, I know it's annoying to have people try tell you shit is gonna turn out fine especially when you know they have no idea what's going on with you. Good luck with whatever you do anyway.
Basically agree with most of what you said, I'm depress. I do like a girl, but I don't want a relationship now cause I know I would ruin it and possible hurt her in the process and myself included. But I do need to get out more, but I have these cycle of motivation where I just feel like shit. And the fucked up part, I sometime take comfort in these fucked up feeling. It's like wanting to drown and cover your body all in it. It get a bit worst during the Winter. And the thing is, I know I don't have it as worst as others and it's brainwrecking. I just have to move forward somehow, while my life isn't totally fucked yet.
But while I don't think I could commit suicide, I couldn't do that to my family. I don't fault anyone who take that route.
Sometimes I suck on my shotgun barrel wghen feeling lonely.
Is there any hope for me /soc/?