Science Jokes

>>7772928
I feel dumb for laughing at that.

>>7772928
oh really?
and the polar bear dissolved in water
and salt sucks
now go kill yourself kid

>>7772933
Good double!!!

>>7772934
wat

Did you know photons have mass?
I didn't even know they were catholic!

two atoms are walking along
one stops and says to the other one, "wait, i think i dropped an electron"
the other asks, "are you sure?"
and the first responds "yes, i'm sure"

what do you call a benzene ring made of iron instead of carbon atoms?

an iron wheel

a neutron walks into a bar and asks, "How much for a pint?"

the bartender looks at him and says, "for you, it's free"

A photon checks into a hotel

The clerk asks if he would like some help taking his luggage to his room

He responds, "No thanks, I'm a quantized packet of energy."

there are two types of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don't

This is no joke but a call to *BAN* dihydrogen monoxide, otherwise know as the invisible, killer substance. 4chan is probably not the place to post this protest, but I feel very strongly about this issue. For your information, dihydrogen monoxide (DHMO) is colorless, odorless, tasteless, and kills thousands of people every year. Most of these deaths are caused by accidental inhalation of DHMO in its liquid form, but the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide do not end there. Prolonged exposure to its solid form causes tissue damage and contact with its gaseous form causes burns. DHMO use is widespread. For those who have become dependent on it, DHMO withdrawal means death. DHMO can be an env. hazard: it's a major component of acid rain, contributes to the "greenhouse effect", leads to the erosion of landscapes and hastens the corrosion of most metals. Being so prevalent (quantities are found in every stream, lake and reservoir), DHMO contamination is at epidemic proportions. Despite the dangers, DHMO is often used as an industrial solvent, as a fire retardant, in nuclear power plants and (can you believe this) in certain food products. Companies dump waste dihydrogen monoxide into rivers and the ocean, and nothing can be done to stop them because this practice is still legal. STOP THE HORROR NOW! The American government and the UN have refused to ban the production, distribution or use of this chemical due to its "economic importance." The navy and certain other military organizations are highly dependent on DHMO for various purposes. Military facilities receive tons of it through a sophisticated underground distribution network. It is also stored in large quantities for military emergencies. BUT IT'S NOT TOO LATE! You can help. Act *NOW* to prevent further contamination. Write your representatives. Start and sign petitions. Send e-mails. Inform your friends about the dangers. What you don't know *CAN* hurt you and every individual throughout the world.

an infinite number of mathemeticians walk into a bar
"What can i get for you guys" the bartender asks

"We'll take two pints" they reply

Two chemistry students walk into a bar.
The first says, "I'll order an H2O."
The second then says, "I'll order an H2O too."
The second student dies

why can't atheists solve polynomial equations?

because they don't believe in deities

why didn't the polyp cross the substrate?

because it was sessile

what do astronauts take when they have a nagging cough?

a throat lozenge

>>7773059
tfw I had to read this twice to understand but when I did, I ended up laughing way more than I should've.

>>7773047
Gold star for trying.

>>7773059
Jimmy was a chemist's son, but Jimmy was no more, for what Jimmy thought was H2O was H2SO4.

this is a bad thread

>>7773196
Yes

>>7773196
welcome to the world of reddit

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>>7772928

biology is science

>>7772928
A proton, a neutron and an electron walk into a bar. The proton asks the bartender "How much of a beer?"

The bartender says, "Go back to reddit"
>>7773039
I giggled

my friends always tell me that I'm very good at sharing jokes. So let me rephrase these to make them even better:
>>7772928
An HIV positive atom bumps into another atom, drops an electron and said: Fuck, you have HIV now.
>>7773022
Catholics have mass and electrons can be catholic.
>>7773036
A benzene ring looks like an iron wheel and it's funny if you replace the carbon with iron instead.
>>7773047
Some people understand binary and for other people it is too complicated.
>>7773059
Two chemistry students walk into a bar. The first says, "I'll order an Water please". The second then says, "I'll order an Hydrogen peroxide" and dies afterwards.
>>7773069
Atheists don't believe in deities and they can't solve polynomial equations as well.

The bartender says "We don't serve neutrinos".
A neutrino walks into a bar.

>>7773030
:^)

>>7773426
I find that joke funny because I understand the quantum mechanics behind it

>>7773903
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahahhahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahab HAHA LOL
XD
ECKSDEEDEEDEEDEE ELEMAYYOOOHHHH

>>7773904
I find that joke funny because I understand the memology behind it

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Who else /medschool/ here?
>Patient with primary syphilis comes in with a really big ulcer on his dick
>Asks if it could develop into cancer
>The doctor replies: "yeah, fat chance!"
>Or should i say "fat chancre"!

the autism is real

>>7773030
lol

>>7773043
False. A photon can't talk with the clerk because it doesn't experience time

>>7773983
Well memed, friend!
Since my meme is very high yield and something that often shows up on exams I'll test you guys and see if you can figure this one out!
Q: What is the principal abductor muscle of the eye?
Leave a comment, like and subscribe below for more memes and to find out what the answer is!

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>>7774230
Thanks! I'm working on my material, any suggestions to make it more dank?
Unfortunately i failed anatomy, any chanc(r)e, care to enlighten us?

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>>7774356
God, I butchered that reply, I'm sorry senpai pls notice me

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>>7774356
>>7774364
>Suggestions. I think you've got a nice roll going already! There's a cool site called 9gag where people post funsy stuff that you should check out to get more inspiration of what kind of humour flies! Something tells me several posts in this thread must be from 9gag. LOL guys! I had many hearty laughs! :^)

Sorry you failed your anatomy anon-chan. It happens to the best of us. Next time you have your exam, if that question comes up, I'll tell you the answer to what the main muscle responsible for the abduction of the eye is - not the lateral rectus - knee-jerk trick question - but: the gluteus maximus!

>>7774230
LATERAL RECTUS XDDDDDDDDDDDDD

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>>7774381
Thanks for the input! I already tried 9gag, however they didn't appreciate my pepes (maybe they weren't rare enough, I'm working on my collection, nearly up to 1000!)

Excuse my ignorance, anatomy is my worst subject, but how come it's the gluteus maximus? Isn't that like, in your butt?

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>>7774406
Nice that you're collecting pepes! I've got my own collection of qt Keion doctors! Keions a best for your health!

>>7774402
>>7774406
Good thinking both! But what happens is when you're walking on the street and see a nice qt 2D girl on the tv screen? And she has a nice gluteus maximus? YOUR EYE BE ALL LIKE SHIT, LOOK AT THAT! That's how! Well memed for trying, though, friends!

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>>7774497
Haha, that's a nice meme you've got there mate! Here, take this meme xD!

>>7773055
NEGATIVE ONE TWELFTH

What do you call it when a good Samaritan travels to distant neighborhoods and delivers pies to peoples' doorsteps in order to strengthen community ties and see what the wide world has to offer?

A delocalized pie bonding system.

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>>7773401
Well meme'd my friend!

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>>7774497
Haha well memed indeed :^)
You wouldn't be able to share your keion doctor collection with me? I promise i won't share and therefore devalue it. I can pay you in rare pepes and Good Boy Points

A mathematician walks into a bar and drinks infinite beers. On the way out, the bartender tries to stop him saying "sir, you've had way too many, let me call a cab." "What are you talking about?," yelled the mathematician. "I've only had -1/12th."

>>7774733
Kekus

>>7774565
Ooh look a chance to plug my site

Worldmemedatabase.com

>>7774895
Your website a shit.
I can't upload my QT Keions to it

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>>7774683
I won't give you all of my collection because I treasure it too much, and these girls are only for the purest hearted of people, and I can't trust everyone on this site. But here's a QT Tsumugi!