Chaaaaaaaamp...

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>>38653469
>Tfw you have a stammer problem

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>>38653469
How has nobody developed a centralized platform where people can be matched with no-skill jobs? This would no doubt be easier on companies too. You could just make an account, fill out a 1 time application/resume and get a 1 time background check and you can be matched with any local businesses for no-skill jobs.

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>>38653538
That sounds like a pretty good idea champ! With all the time you spend on the computer there, I'd assume you know the thing from back to front. Make a website on your spare time and have that little trump card in your back pocket when you're telling the manager you're the right man for the job! Remember to give him a firm handshake and maintain eye contact!

>>38653644
boomer deathcamps when?

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>>38653504
You can't keep relying on this mile long list of excuses you keep giving me! Take a deep breath, give the manager a firm handshake and remember the worst the can say is no! Trust me champ, you'll be hired in no time!

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>>38653670
Champ you need to quit blaming the world's problems on others and become a productive member of society. Besides you'll feel much better when you are spending your own hard earned cash. But don't spend your money on frivolous ventures, you need to save for the future!

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>>38653469
HAHAHAHAHA Yet another classic HILARIOUS forced maymay, nu/pol/. I'm so glad you're here!

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>>38653819
Champ what's the matter with you? That internet seems to have gotten to you. Have you even applied to any jobs lately?
I told you to get dressed, I already have copies of your resume printed out. We aren't coming back home until you're hired on the spot. Go in, ask for the manager, give him a firm handshake and tell him you're the right man for the job. Chop chop champ, I don't have all day for your whining!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UORGPjmxcb4

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>>38654287
He has the right idea champ, you should listen to him if you won't listen to your old man! You spend all day on that computer, any employer would be blown away with how much you know. Just go into one of them computer companies like HP or Dell, ask for the manager, give the man a firm handshake and tell him you're the right man for the job.

>>38653469
Meme or not, this crap actually works. I was talking to a guy from my faculty and he got a job within a week of trying just by driving around to every company he knew and asking for the hiring manager to give them his resume. He said he offered to work for free for 2 weeks so they could "try him out", lo and behold he's working full time at an engineering firm for over a month now.

>tfw applying online for the past 14 months, probably 700+ jobs
>have had 10 or so interviews, no offers
Starting to think these memes actually might have a point. Has anyone actually had success with just showing up? I fear that the front desk won't even let me speak to a manager, especially for electronics engineering positions.

>>38653819
Its better than the steeam feels, trapss, and weeebs. At least it makes me laugh. Whats wrong chaamp, dont like laughing? Take your own advice with that picture

>>38653469
>This forced meme again
I applaud your effort. Too bad most folks on here would rather have basic income/neetbux than be a wagecuck.

>>38653469
Nepotism is the only thing that will get you hired in this day and age. Especially if you don't have any experience, even retailcuck positions want you to have 3+ years experience.
Sorry paps, you raised a friendless loser so I don't know anyone that would be able to point me in the direction of a job.

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>>38654660
Champ, the worst they can do is say they aren't hiring right now. Go in there clean cut, ask for the manager and give him a firm handshake. You spent 4 years getting that degree of yours, throw your weight around a little. Your old man didn't even have a degree at your age, imagine how easy it will be for you to get hired!

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>>38654743
No one is gonna give you a handout for simply existing champ, you need to prove you deserve the money you want. With all that reading you're doing on the computer there I wouldn't be surprised if you have enough knowledge for a big company like Apple! Get in the car champ, I'm driving you around to every local business until you get a yes.

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>>38654796
Champ what have I told you about making excuses? You need to stop this game of playing the victim and get out there. I've had it with your whining, get dressed and be at the car in 5 minutes, your mother had your suit already pressed and cleaned. And you better give that manager a firm handshake, I'll know if you're lying.

I didn't do what you are telling us to do OP.

Instead I waited and found a job t hat suited my skillset and commuting needs. A job I would not have been able to get were I already busy with a shit job I got canvassing the bottom tier of work as you suggest.

So basically, go fuck yourself you self-righteous moron. You don't have any ideas or skills and all you can say for yourself is you pestered your way to the back of the line. Well done loser.

>>38653469
Dad this is (current year) and nobody goes to real job interviews. Now i know back in your day you'd have to give them a firm handshake then drive back to your stone home in your engineless car, but these days companies have different hiring methods.
It's sad but true dad

>>38653469
WHERE'S MY SPICY BIG CRUNCH, YOU NIGGER?
I told you, I fucking told you, if you bought me a fucking Spicy Big Crunch the job was mine. You didn't, and now you don't get shit. Get fucked, I'd take the streets and a tent over your lying ass, at least then I could panhandle enough change to buy the occasional spicy big crunch between sharing booze with other hobos and trying to not get fucked up the ass.

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>>38655030
Champ I may have gotten older, but you need to remember I was you age once too! Google and facebook may have not been around when I was your age but the way companies hire people has not changed. You just need to go in, ask for the manager and give the man a firm handshake. With all that internet access you have there, you don't even need to read the newspaper to look for job postings! You kids have it so easy, make me proud champ!

>>38655111
Actually dad, it has. Now all i have to do is send in an application with a resume and i have a chance at getting the job.
Most companies are too busy for real life interviews because of this dad.

Just look through the want ads in the paper for one that says "no experience required" and just walk right in to the interview. That's how it used to be.

https://archive.org/details/HowtoKee1949

What does /R9K/ think about funding a startup where we lobby for euthanasia and "encourage" boomers to kill themselves? I think there's profit to be made.

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>>38653469
>go into shecklehouse #325231
>ask for manager
>offer to hand resume
>"Oh no anon we don't take resume's, we do all of our hiring online

Repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat

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>>38655028
You're a very bright kid so it's no wonder you found yourself a job. Proud of you champ! I invited the whole family over to celebrate your new job, put on your good pants and a shirt everyone will be over in 20 minutes.

This is my new favorite meme, partyposting is lame desu

Remember; in the federal government, test scores are the main thing used to hire people. Personal interactions don't matter.

https://www.usajobs.gov/

>>38653469
Literally how can people hate people like this. Hes helping you get a fucking job and vowed to be there for you until you did. Giving you the kick you need to succeed

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>>38655160
Champ you've been saying that it's online for a while but I still see you sitting your butt on that computer all day with no work. You can't replace human interaction with online applications champ, and 90% of the time a manager will take you just based on if he likes your enthusiasm. You can compete with all those other lazy bums and apply online, but that's not how I raised you. You need to march in there and give that manager a firm handshake. Tell him to his face that you're the right man for the job!

>mfw reading all these memes on this thread is actually motivating me to go out and get a job. if I have a job by next week, it'll be all thanks to OP.

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>>38655105
CHAMP DON'T TALK TO YOUR FATHER LIKE THAT! GET YOUR LAZY ASS OFF THAT COMPUTER AND GET DRESSED. YOU BETTER BE AT THE CAR FULLY SUITED IN 15 MINUTES.

>>38655311
Dad shut up i'm watching anime

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>>38655225
See that's what I like to see champ, I knew you were a bright kid. All it takes is a little enthusiasm and in no time you'll be hired! Remember what I've taught you; firm handshake and maintain eye contact. Make me proud and get that business off the ground running!

>>38655394
Tell ya what, pop. You go and march right into the first KFC you find, and tell them to get you a Spicy Big Crunch with a large Pepsi and a side of popcorn chicken. If they tell you they aren't serving it, you go right to the manager, look him in the eye, and request they just fry you a piece of damn spicy chicken and put it between a bun.
You do this, and I will have a job by nightfall. You fail, and in 15 minutes I'm going to be wandering the street with my tent.

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>>38655438
Champ I bought that computer of yours, I can just as easily take it away from you. You will never learn the value of money until you work hard for the things you own. Get dressed, I'm taking you into town so we can get you a job.

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>>38655383
That's the attitude I wanna see champ! Get out there and make your father proud!

I live in a third world country so this might actually work! Thanks dad!

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>>38655279
You gotta keep your options open champ, you can't just rely on one career path. You can wait all month for a reply from an online application, but that's unproductive. Put on that fresh suit your mother just bought you, we're gonna go into town and get you hired for a temp position in the meantime!

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>>38655481
DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M LISTENING TO YOU? PUT ON THAT SUIT RIGHT NOW OR YOU CAN SAY BYE BYE TO THAT COMPUTER YOU LOVE SO MUCH

>>38655494
No faggot. I'm watching my cartoons you doofus

>>38655638
>not listening to me
>actively responding
btw you have like 2 minutes to start trying to get me that Spicy Big Crunch before I leave.

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>>38655494
Plus i bought a nee computer with my own money goofus.
What now, pops?

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>>38655568
No problem champ. All I want is for you to succeed in life, you'll be hired in no time and will be making your way up the corporate ladder.

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>>38653469
I just got hired online. Fuck you, dad!

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>>38655654
>>38655693
As long as you live under my roof you will obey my orders. Get your resumes printed off and turn that gadget of yours off. I don't have all day to listen to your excuses.

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d-dad? but you're supposed to be dead!

>>38655773
Wait a minute! My dad is a brown dude! Who are you!?

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>>38655669
You pushed my buttons enough champ. Better start looking for a new place, I don't allow leaches to live under my roof.

>>38655842
Already gone, your time ran out ages ago. By the way I clogged the seat with my shit, stole the record collection, set fire to the kitchen, wrecked your car, cut the phone lines, and hid the remote.
You don't lie to a man about his Spicy Big Crunch, you stupid fucking nigger. What has happened to you is justice, nothing more.

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>>38655788
Champ! That isn't important right now! What's important is that we find you a job and you gotta go in there, ask for the hiring manager, give him a firm handshake and tell him you're the right man for the job! It's easy champ! Make me proud.......

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>>38655901
Police are on their way. You're no son of mine anymore you hooligan!

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>>38655804
I see you met with my boss! Told you, I'm not the only one giving this advice! Now get dressed, we're going into town and not coming home until you're hired on the spot!

>>38656015
But i already got hired online and my first day of work is today!
I wanted to surprise you dad

>>38655954
>police
>implying they can help you now
btw trashing record collection cause it's a bitch to carry. Going to smash my phone and leave the carcass to dodge traces, so I won't even see your angry reply. cya fag
I could've gotten that job in seconds if you had only gotten me my spicy chicken. But you didn't, and now you're paying the price.

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>>38656025
That's great to hear son, I'm so proud of you. You see, all it took was a little effort! Now put on that nice shirt your mom bought you, we're going out for dinner to celebrate. My treat!

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>>38656035
WEEEWOOOWEEEWOOO
*KNOCK KNOCK*
This is the police! We heard there's a domestic dispute! Is this the kid? You're going downtown pal!

>>38653819
this has nothing to do with /pol/ you idiot this is one of the best memes to come out of this place

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>>38653469
>he doesnt post "firmpain"
The only non homosexual version of the handshake meme

>>38653469

This actually worked for me but it took a lot of failures first.

>>38655481
Top kek anon

Orgilia on

>>38656054
Not really dad. All it took was a registration online.
And it's ok. Now can i have that anime??

SIR.

STOP SENDING YOUR AUTIST SON INTO OUR STORE.

WE ARE NOT HIRING. STOP TELLING HIM TO ASSAULT OUR MANAGER. STOP TELLING HIM TO LEAVE HIS SEMEN-STAINED RESUME ON OUR COUNTERS.

PLEASE DON'T FORCE US TO CALL THE POLICE.

>>38656703
But he is special and a human being like you and me why can't he get a job you fucking Nazi!

>>38656794
back in the 80s there where enough jobs for everyone! Fucking Nazis like you are the reason why many immigrants don't get a job also. They don't fit into you Faschist point of you cause they are "different" like my son.

I wanna speak to the manager

R I G H T N O W

Of all the shitty forced meme's I've seen here. This one enrages me the most.
My dad wasn't fluent in English.
Back in the 60's He got a job.
By the time he was my age he had.
>Made bank.
>Married (now my mom)
>Rich.
>Owned 2 cars.
Pretty much a chad.

Look at me now I'm so fucked.

My mom actually made me do this, i had to get dressed up, print out a bunch of resumes, and she made me go to every store and ask for the manager and when I came back to the car she'd yell at me like I chickened out. After I explain that they say the manager is not in, she still yells at me.

I don't know what she expects me to do, literally stand there and refuse to leave until the manager comes out?

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Hey champ, how about staying in and playing some Fallout 4? Did you remember to get the season pass?

I don't care if it's a forced meme, champs dad is fucking gold.

>>38657065
Fuck off dad, I'm playing overwatch

>>38653469
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>>38656074
When life sucks, and the country is going to shit, and you got nothing, you just gotta dance
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8G9QIIvSpzE