ITT: most autistic shit you ever did. >be in year 4 >used

Anon that's good autism though. I really like that.

>>38280674
R.I.P. Moldy Toilet Paper Man

Press F to pay respects

>>38280988
f

oreng

>>38280999

checked my boy

>>38280988

F

>>38280988
F

this comment is certified for distribution in europe

>>38280988
F

this is an origen comment

>>38280988
F

originato

>>38280674
My budy gave me a man made of tape. As in he covered someone in tape, cut them out of it, and pasted it together again to make a man out of tape

For some reason I cut off its hand and made soup out of it. I made a very basic vegetable stock and added the tape hand, whole. I drank a bowl of it and my mouth tasted like plastic and glue for months. I'm sure it gave me cancer. I was about 15 and still don't know why I did it.

>>38280674
>be a pot head
>girl leaves me because I like it too much
>2 years later have break down
>run to her house crying even though I know she moved out
>start talking where I used to kiss her goodnight to myself
>speaking as her telling me everything will be alright but she won't see me ever again
>run home crying like the first night I told her I liked her and she said 'ok'

Literally haven't spoke to a girl since her, making this the most /r9k/ post you're gonna see tonight

>>38280674
smearing shit on walls

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>>38280674
You had your own little world for your paper machete men and funerals?
I had shit like that too but my autism goes beyond just fantasies in real life


>be me
>15-16 year old dim wit
>really fucking bad at math and cant get anywhere
>decide after losing my 7th math tutor (and thats just from one year alone) that i didnt give a fuck
>give up on school
>was going to a shitty ghetto school at the time
>start smoking weed which wasnt so bad, it didnt make me do stupid things
>one day some asian kid walks up to me
>"yo anon, take this shit i dont want it"
>what the fuck is this stuff you gook
>"just take it man youll feel super mellow"
>shrug and take it from him
>i didnt know it at the time, but i just accepted xanax from him
>obviously looking back it was him tricking me liking xanax so he gave me around 12 pills for free to draw me in
>i had no clue what i was doing so inbetween classes i take 2 pills of 2mg xanax
>after 20 minutes i thought the fucker made me swallow mini bath soaps but it hit me in the middle of a lecture
>start melting into my seat and get the sudden urge to moan in euphoria
>people around me start to notice
>run my ass out of there
>run out the gate of my school
>stumble around high as shit looking for somewhere to sit down
>find an alley and sit against a wall tweaking out for 3 hours

Thus began a year of binging xanax, after i was mugged and shoved out of that school by witness protection i lost my draler in the processn starting a 7 month withdrawal that was akin to the 9th circle of hell.

>>38282597
Is xanax withdrawal that bad?
Also is it typically costly?

>>38282819
No not costly at all which was my problem.
It was 5 bucks per pill.
And yes it was that bad, if i didnt have a med card for cannabis to wean off on then i would have done something drastic most likely.

when I was in primary 5 (8 or 9 years old) the teacher had this scoreboard for spelling tests with everyone in the classes names on sticky bits of paper and he would write down the scores next to the names and move the names up and down depending on their scores and I was obsessed with this and recreated it at home and spent hours just inventing scores and moving peoples names up and down on the list.

>>38282933
I wanna try it but I'm mentally weak and scared I get addicted. I know a guy who has access to all types of shit. Idk is it worth it

>>38282597
That's drugs, anon, not autism. You had substances in your body doing shit you didn't know how to respond to.

>>38283097
Doing drugs in public places is autistic.

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>>38281453
I already saw this somewhere

>>38282597
What happened to ur life afterwards

I couldn't remember shapes in kindergarten so I wrote the shapes on my desk with a little note on which shapes they were, still missed one

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>>38280674
Not as bad as mine

>over active imagination
>compensating for lack of toys
>grade 2
>would collect used straws
>I'm not joking
>I'd collect them in the playground from the ground or in the garbage
>would bend them and make it look like it had 1 foot a mouth and legs
>would hide them in my desk
>openly play with them at snack time
>my favourite was a yellow straw from a drink I think was probably a kool-aid jammer
>I would collect others from five alive, Capri Sun, and others
>students all gathered together when I wasn't around and threw them out
>I cried and cried until someone found them all in the garbage and gave it back
>cuddled with my used garbage straws that I bent into people shapes

Jesus Christ I can't imagine how unsanitary that is. If I was the teacher I would have dumped them from the start, why did she let my autistic hobby go this far.

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>>38283846
>each straw had his own story
>one was a brother, a lover or the bad guy
>as a fucking used straw that some kid with swine flu probably drank from
>see the commercial for transformers toys that were artificially damaged and beat up to add their own flavour
>get an idea to use that on my straws since low income and 5 siblings
>had to rummage in the play yard for the worst straw I could find
>find one near the tether ball pole
>just a rotten little thing, looked like it was chewed on, stuck up someone's add and left I'm the ground for a few months
>I take it because it was the same colour as my favourite straw and I used it for my own little autistic story for when the good guy gets beat up by the bad guy (a big ass red straw used for a slurpy)

>>38280988
f

spaghetti

>>38280988
f

zhazha

>>38280988
F


Origamioreganomino

>>38283143
It's on the leddit/r/4chan thing right now actually.

>>38280988
F

this is original desu

>>38280988
F

*pays respects*

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>>38280674
>be me, 7~8
>parents were "christians", but didn't really care about religion
>I knew about god and heaven, but literally nothing else
>discover masturbation at 7~8
>think it's something related to god, and that I should keep doing it so I can go to heaven
>jerk off to pictures of Jesus on the cross

>>38283143
Me too man, can't remember what it is for the life of me though

>>38282597

i like xanax. however i have never taken more than 1mg in the year i've been fucking with it

i don't get people who take 2mg+ and have expectations of no withdrawal, shit is a nightmare

4mg+ habit = risk of seizures

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>>38280674

>Be me
>7 years old at the time
>buy a toy sword at dollar store
>they are the kind of swords used to pretend you are 'eating the blade' kind of thing
>put the entire blade in my mouth
>gag reflexes kick in
>vomit violently onto the store's floor
>still keep the damn thing til this day

>>38283976
this story is my favourite anon

>>38280674
First sleep over at my friend's house when I was a kid and he made me a sandwich. I ate about half of it and realized that it tasted weird. Noticed there was mold on it and finished it because I didn't want to look like I didn't appreciate his food.

>>3828554
even chad's done things more autistic than that mate

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>>38280674
>be in kindergarten
>accidentally spill a bit of glue on my hands
>Finish what I was doing and then peel the dried glue off my skin
>weird feeling of satisfaction
>would cover my hands with glue just so it could dry and then I could peel it off

>>38285549
>>38285613
i meant this

original 2342434343434343 ffs

>>38282243
ah, the most r9k thing i've seen all night is it being ignored : ^)

>>38285632
Would do this but id spread the glue on the underside of my ruler

>>38285632
Normies do this a lot too, don't worry.

>>38282597
that's just an appropriate response to a first timers xanax experience, not autism

>>38285632
This isn't autistic at all, everyone did it

>>38285675
how is it r9k to have had a gf?

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>>38280988
F he was gud guy

>>38280674
>5 or 6
>obsessed with pokemon, fucking obsessed
>would always play pretend pokemon
>influenced by pokemon stadium a little too much
>want to play pokemon stadium irl and fight as pokemon
>playing on driveway but its not flat enough
>decided to frequently go to neighbor's driveway to rp pokemon, squatting, jumping, doing the voices, *playing as BOTH pokemon, totally oblivious to the fact that i was on someone else's property

captured bees and tied string to them as bee pets
you catch one in a bottle and throw it into the freezer for a few seconds and it would knock them out

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>>38280674
>everyone my age had a gameboy
>parents didnt buy me one, was still playing on snes while n64 came out
>get a cutout of a gameboy from a magazine and paste it on a cut out piece of cardboard
>cut out random pictures from vidya magazines that show gameboy gameplay
>put the pics in front of what would be the screen and pretend im playing
eventually my parents got me a gameboy after that so it wasn't all bad I guess

>>38280674

>In 5th grade

>at a championship high school game (my older brother was playing)

>His team was 5 points behind

>there was a foul shot for his team. My brother was shooting.

>silence.jpeg

>suddenly i yelled "Get the five pointer!" at the top of my lungs

>theres no 5 pointers in basketball

>>38280988
f

Origino commento

>>38285297
FUCK OFF REDDIT FUCK YOU FUCK YOU REDDIT FAGS OFF MY BOARD NORMIE SCUM

>>38280988
Good night sweet Prince

F

origig

>>38285398
>>38283143
mandela effect
trust me

>>38280988
f

orewa

>>38285366
How do you have no (You)'s for this?

>>38286632

You have to be 18 to post here.

I went on reddit after years of 4chan. Now I split my time between the two. Pretty good desu

>>38280674
>be me
>grade 3, or 4, maybe even 6, childhood memories all blur together when you're older
>anyways I would pick my nose totally right in the middle of class and eat it, do that for 10 minutes easily
>I thought that I was being super stealthy by "hiding" myself by holding up the open class textbook in front of my face in a cartoonish way like what a silent film actor would do to show that he's really into reading this book, I thought it covered my face and no one could see
>of course 270 degrees of people next to me and especially behind me could all see what I was up to
>it took months for one kid to say that he could see me, we could all see me
>I cried for the rest of the day.

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>>38288248
I suppose I could have ended it better. I feel like I cut off the story a bit too soon.

Then again, there isn't much more to say. I only did it for around a year, until I discovered porn.

>>38288441
it's good i just don't know how to respond to that

its not """""cringe""""" if it happened in fucking elementary school, holy shit

Its only cringe when you're in high school, where people have societal expectations and what not

>>38282597
>>38285366
>>38285438
>>38288366
>>be me
Wow, really? Who could have known?

>>38280988
F
Rip in piece moldy paper man

>>38289555
aaaahhhh the joys of summer lads

>>38289852
It's a shitty reddit joke. It's not a single bit funny and people just start greentexts with it for some attempt at "tradition".

>ever since 3rd grade was obsessed in one way or another with history
>would whisper detailed summaries of the history of the world, certain continents, and in later years the lore/history of certain games or movie franchises (Star Wars, Elder Scrolls)
>histories would go on for months, getting more detailed and accurate with the passing years
>relativly "normal" for an autist, got a few friends and one(1) gf, yet performed this autistic action over and over again
>wasn't really that much of a bother, only did it when people weren't around or weren't talking to me, whispered/muttered low enough for people to not hear me.
>still do it to this day and do it in one way or another with each autistic interest

>>38280988
f
poor TPM, he lived a short life

>9th grade
>give girl a cookie
>immediately decide i want it back
>i yell at her for 2 hours to give me the cookie back
>she already ate the fucking cookie
>i punch her in the stomach
>she pukes
>i put my hands in her vomit to find my cookie
>i put the vomit into my mouth a little bit to try and taste cookie
>my entire class witnessed this
>"puke boy" is new nickname until i graduated

>>38290172
that seems like a productive autistic trait like that could be used to remember a bunch of shit if you train yourself

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>>38283143
>>38287290
It was on /ck/ the other day

>>38288352
So, traitor
Which is better in your opinion

>>38289555
Its how you start a greentext stupid ass nigha

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>>38280674

>16 yo
> major exams coming up
> fucking lazy to study
> no friends to ask and study with
> analyzed 10 years worth of past year exams
> did a whole elaborate excel chart of topics and questions already covered
> made my own fucking system for determining likelihood of topic x coming up in the next exam
> spotted questions
> printed prepared answers in tiny font and attached them to various stationery
> exams come
> actually predicted most topics with at least 80% accuracy
> mfw wasted shit ton of time doing all this shit
> mfw i realised the time spent doing all this shit could have just been used to study the content properly

im 23 and still doing this kind of shit even in uni. wtf is wrong with me, why cant i just study properly? i think its just my autism

>>38290469
Wtf man wtf freshman year you are like 14 or 15 wtf mannnn

>>38292446
I can't study either my man, I feel you
Never failed a test though

>>38280988
T
Gonna miss my molder brother

>>38280988
f, thank yu m80 yu hav saev me frum emotion distres

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As posted in microwave thread

>>38280988
F
This comment is NAP compliant

>>38282971
That sounds fucking hilarious anon

>>38293423
Rest in fucking pieces. That anon probably got mercury poisoning

>>38289329
This isn't a cringe thread you nut sack.

>>38280674
Is everyone here too new to now that this is just copypasta?

>>38280674
pasta
old af

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>freshman year
>only 13 year old in the class
>cute black girl that sat in front of me
>remember dead grandma told me to make a girl laugh and thats the way to her heart
>she laughs at something funny
>she sounds like a donkey so i try to autistically mimic her laugh hoping itd make her laugh even more
>literally 5 seconds after she laughs again i go YEEHAW HAW HAW YEE HAW HAW HAW
>whole class stares at me
>black girl thinks that i think shes annoying
>doesnt talk to me
that old dead cunt is rolling in her grave still

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>hear joke on TV show about someone writing the word "help" in their own shit
>Find the absolute depravity of it hilarious
>next day at school
>ask to go to toilet during period before break
>go to toilet
> shit on floor
>pick up shit with toilet paper
>scrawl the word HELp across the wall
>run out of space after writing HEL
>use finger to squeeze in smaller p
>wash hands and go back to class
>come out hang around near toilet
>see normies running, laughing and screaming around toilet eventually
>guy who found it get called up to headmaster
>dudes weird people jokingly believe he is prime suspect
>find out headmaster asked the dude if the weirdo retard of our year had anything to do with it despite having been nowhere near it.
>school assembly
>headmaster tells school he isn't angry and the person won't get in trouble, he just wants to help someone who actually needs help.
>mfw super lel.

Dunno why I did it anons, it didn't really disgust me too much and I how much it fucked up normies was hilarious to me at the time.

I've read this b4, this is pasta

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>>38296100
Probably why noone realises it's a copy pasta.

>>38280674
I used to masturbate onto birds at a local park. Not a thing that I'm particularly proud of but I became quite good at it. I was taking zinc supplements so I was shooting massive loads and it became something of a sport to me. For anyone interested here is your best strategy. first, you need to find an isolated spot so you don't become a sex offender. I found a short kind of channel area where I saw the pigeons would congregate. Next, you arouse yourself. I was usually content with envisioning the occasional jogging lady coming over and taking a shit on my chest and that was enough to fuel the fire but if you're not as sexually charged as me just take some porn on the go. After you're good an horny, you get some bread. My pigeons preferred white bread but healthier birds might have a taste for honey wheat or maybe even multigrain. Fat, unhealthy birds are slower and easier to hit so remember that. Once you are seated on the bench and ready to do the deed, whip your roosevelt out and scatter bread out within a few feet of you. use your judgement based on how far you know you can cum. I was a lonely and depraved soul who could hit targets the size of a thimble at distances up to 4 feet. You wait for the pigeons to begin eating and to get comfortable with your presence. At this point, you want to coo gently and talk sensually to them to gain their trust. Now you're finally ready to cum on your bird. This is a tough part because the rapid motion of masturbation is very frightening to the birds, so you have to be subtle. Once you master a technique, you simply wind it up and let it go, aiming depending on your past cumming experiences. I always came high so I would aim for the neck of the bird and catch it right in the face. It's an extremely satisfying and erotic feeling, seeing those birds reel around covered in cum and maybe even transporting it to other places in the city. Either way I haven't done it in years.

>>38296283
Fuck off pasta, this is facebook level

>>38287290
Ye probably mate

>>38282597
Stop trying to be "le robot". You're just a druggie fuckface ,not autistic.

>>38296223
You actually do need that HELp anon

>>38289555

You must be new here origjhccx

>>38282243
>had a gf
>hangs out outside of his room
Get the fuck out you fucking normie.

>>38291591
>>38297272
half-chan newfags defend this retardation
this place may habe a more active userbase but half of you are still insecure parroting normies,

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>>38289555
REEEEE, GET OFF MY BOARD NORMALFAG!

This is about as original as your mom

>be me 13 years old
>divorced parents and dad just got a new gf
>has super hot older daughter
>she wanted to practice face painting on us for some reason
>say ok
>paints my face like a tiger
>go and lie on the banister like a cat on a branch
>start purring
>can see shes not impressed
>start trying to impress her by talking about how the ancient Egyptians revered cats
>still not impressed
>start naming all the pharaohs i can remember
>run out pharaohs
>go hide in my bedroom

thankfully dad broke up with her and i havent had to see the daughter since

>>38282819
Xanax withdrawal gives you seizures and can literally kill you.

>>38296147
>cute
>Black girl

You can only pick one

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>>38296223
thanks for making me laugh, today has been a rough one.

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>>38298623
>start naming pharaohs

>>38285768
How did you manage to tie a strong around a bee?

>>38297870
Go back, dumb crippled normalfag.

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>>38280674
>be little dumbass
>have an undying love for wire strips and play with them constantly
>once on my birthday, my pa gifted me an expensive wire strip with a lot of plugs, including USB, telephone and a lot of other features
>tfw my happiest moment in life

>>38297537
was 4 years ago oh mighty autist please accept me to your cult

>>38285741
wasn't a gf, someone who strung me along. had on and off boyfriends throughout the time that i was kissing her goodnight

>>38300354
*she had

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This hurts to remember...i dont want to relive this.

>2008
>Second month of High School.
>Begin to realize I'm not socially in touch with the other kids.
>Don't want to be the class nerd/loser.
>Decide to try and be cool, get all my "coolness" from sterotypical High School kids in American movies who wear black leather jackets, you know the type.
>Put on an American accent. I'm British.
>Other kids pay attention to me, in my head I thought they thought I was cool but really they were laughting in my autistic face.

This is where it gets bad.

>Decide to up my coolness by hitting on the most popular girl in class.
>Walk up to her while she's in front of all her friends.
>Point both my fingers at her and say "aaaay good lookin"
>Had to move school in 2009.

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>>38280674
When I was a wee lad a girl asked me to the movies(suckerpunch), so I sat in the front because in my autistic mind she would come this way and we can find some where better. Anyway she came in with some friends that I didn't know from the other side and didn't see me and I thought "well she definitely doesn't like me" so I watched the movie alone in the front. After that I cried on the bus ride home and looked out the window repeating that "they mustn't see you cry". We never talked about it again. Oh well, the tears have stopped and i'm still here.

>>38282597
I'm sorry to hear that. Hope you're ok.

>>38290172
With Elder Scrolls, is it true that there's robots in the lore?

>>38300691
This is kinda heartbreaking, I can see it happening to me. Instead of just doing the normal thing like go up to them or whatever, just instantly assuming that it's a set up

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>>38280674
>be in grade 5
>mom just bought me new upgraded sneakers
>showed em all around school
>schoolbully started saying how my mom couldnt afford those and claimed i stole em
>later at gym class i grabbed a few shoes of kids around there and put them in the backpack of the bully
>he later cried to the teacher when confronted about it
>felt sad and then i gave him a hug
>next day he brought me out to yard behind the gym after school and he thanked me how i came up for him when nobody ever did that before
>felt happy i did something good
>he teached me how to mastrubate, im happy he did that forme
>still want to payback because i think he got off easy
>years later learned hes gay and had severe depression and cut himself
>this one summer
>remembered payback is still due
>sent a message then to him on facebook telling him "what comes around goes around"
>payback finally
>received a message a hour later from him telling me he always liked me and hes happy i felt the same way
>what the fuck
>sent me a date and time to go for a movie
>y not
>went there, he was very nervous aparantly
>igotthis.jpeg
>holded his hands and shouted loudly "IM HERE ON MY FIRST DATE"
>everyone was clapping and started cheering me
>paybacktime
>godiswith.me
>he whispered and stuttered "w-w-why would you s-s-say t-that" and started blushing and had a little smile
>wtf, why didnt he cry
>im tried of this, i just wanna go home and play civilization
>"my mom texted me i gotta go okbye"
>walked home and ignored him the rest of the summer
>one day my mom came by me in my room while i was playing civilization
>wtf mom, u know ur not supose to do that
>told me he killed himself and his parents wanted me to know because he always said how great of a friend i was to him in his darkest moments
>kek payback finaly due
>ordered not one but two happymeals that night
>oh boy what did god give me for beign such a good little boy
>mfw its the same fucking retarded peach toys i already had

>>38301087
you're a retart....

I often snuck into my little sister's bed at night because I was scared of sleeping in my own room. I did that till I was like 12 or something. Pretty fucked up, now that I think about it.

>>38301087
Incredible, you truly are a fucking disgusting cunt

I once sang "Don't Worry Be Happy" in a Jamaican accent by myself in front of a group of 4 older girls at a campground karaoke bar.

Also auditioned for a part in a school play by running on stage and saying I like going to anime conventions and that I'm a weeaboo.

My life is just a pattern of me doing random things and copying others and never getting it right, I can't understand context and will never be acceptable

>>38289555
thats called greentexting retard

>>38301245
One of those girls likes you for sure, there is no way you can pull of a jamaican accent while singing reggae and not have a roastie want some peri peri

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>>38282243
Why didn't you take the pot off your head?

Oreg

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>Be junior in high school/grade 11
>In science class
>Friend and I are bored and we devise a plan to draw a dot army on a piece of paper
>Whoever can draw the more sophisticated army wins
>Take that shit way too seriously
>Friend draws maybe 70 dots and gets bored
>I continue onto a second page
>Go home and continue expanding my dot army
>Never tell friend that I didn't stop
>Eventually I've drawn so many dots that I have taped over 30 pages together
>My army is huge, also have a navy and an air force now
>Add tons of detail even naming ships and drawing a little dot hospital and command center
>MFW I did this for the rest of the school year and still have my dot army to this day

On multiple occasions my mom told me to throw it away but every time I found it I always ended up adding more to it. Even added more to my dot army while well into my twenties. It's too many pages to count and I have it folded up somewhere, it probably takes up the entire space of my living room when fully unfolded.

>My friend's army never stood a chance

>me in 6th grade
>get free milk from school
>some classmates didn't drink theirs so now we had a lot of it
>took around 6 milk cartons to the bathroom
>started throwing them at cars passing by
>start hearing honking and screaming from outside
>one milk carton hit their windshield and it covered their car in the white liquid
>still had 1 more milk carton left
>put it in my backpack
>forget it there during weekend
>on monday my backpack smells like rotten milk or fermented cheese

>>38301601
I'm interested, could you post some scans?

>>38280988
F

I am a robot, but this comment is original

>>38301101
>retart
Ironic

>>38296223
Actually made me laugh out loud. Godspeed, Anon.

>>38280988
F my shit up senpai

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>>38280674
>swallowed a bunch of pennies when I was a kid

>>38301601
Is love to see a selection of your dot army anon.

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>be me at 12
>bring glasses,nose and moustache to school (like in pic)
>I think it's fucking hilarious
>start pretending to not be me
>wear it all day pretending to be foreign exchange student called peter with Russian accent
>kept going up to people and asking if they could guess who I actually was
>disappointed when everyone knows it's me
>but how?
>come to school next day with new disguise, also doesn't work
>realise life isn't like cartoons
>teacher phones may mother
>"we need to talk about anon"
>recommend child psychologist
>luckily parents already know I'm just weird as fuck and get easily obsessed with strange things and try to explain to me the idea of how other perceive you.

Not really funny but most definitely one of the most autistic things I've ever done.

legit shat myself once, not fun.

>>38301658
>>38301982
I just looked all over and can't seem to find it which leads me to believe I left it at my parents house when I moved out. Sorry anons, it was truly glorious.

>>38281453
Fuckin liar I've seen this before smfh

>>38280674
Posting on 4chan has to be the most autistic shit I've ever done.Posting on /r9k/ has to be the second most autistic thing tho.

Not sure if this is /original/

>>38301087
That's not autistic,that's fucking /devilish/ and I like it.It's probably fake as shit tho.

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>>38288366
>he could see me
>we all could see me

>>38280988
F

At least he went out in style. Victorian style.

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Everyone is talking about stuff they did as kids, but I hit peak autism two weeks ago
>Be me
>Be 20
>My country is celebrating its 150th aniversery
>Loads of events and tourists in my city
>Don't leave my appartment for any of it
>However, there are going to be fireworks at night
>Love fireworks
>Not missing the fireworks for anything
>Decide to leave a half hour before they start
>Drunk normies everywhere
>Yell "Happy fucking leaf day dude" at me
>Y-you too
>Keep my head down
>Want to go home
>But my will to see fireworks beats everything
>Finally get to a good spot to view them
>Normies everywhere
>Chad to my left, SJW to my right
>I'm the only person their alone
>Start to get stressed
>Probably going to burst into tears
>See normies kissing
>tfw no gf
>Pull out phone
>Pull up pic related
>Hold phone where her hands are so it's like I'm holding hands with Akari
>Imagine her telling me that everything is going to be ok
>Start feeling less stressted
>Akari will protect me from the normies
>Enjoy fireworks
>Hold hands with Akari the whole time
That is the most human contact I've gotten all year

>>38303153
At least you have good taste in anime girls

>>38303153
Sorry you had to put up with disgusting normies anon, but at least you had your waifu with you to keep you strong

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>>38303153
LEAF ALERT

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>>38303153
>Akari will protect me from the normies

>>38301087
L (laughing) M (my) A (Ass (tee-hee)) O (off)

>>38280988
F

most originol comment ever

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>somewhere between 6/7
>had to go to my grandma's once a week, but I hated it there. Not many toys, she was against vidya, etc.
>would play in the yard with these helicopter seeds
>used to make believe that one was an evil doctor, and the rest were pregnant women (I took the seed part as the pregnant belly)
>the evil doctor would force the seeds from the women in faux-abortions
>the women would cry/be scared/run in horror etc.
Looking back, I have no idea why I did this or how I knew what abortion was back then but I played that game often

>>38303153
Akari is a good girl and you should feel good

Ultimately I understand this. I'd do the same, but perhaps with a nendo.

>be me
>loving tennis since forever
>at 2012, start with a "fantasy tennis league", I am the only one that knows of that
>use other names (mainly from football players) for players
>at the same time when there is a real tennis tournament, I create my own draw and act as if these players would really play, in my head
>create draws and results for all tournaments, calculate a world ranking after every tournament (with MS excel)
>I already created great tennis rivalries between footballers
>still do it

The Wimbledon Quarter Finals await me bois

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Fuck, you made me remember it

I used to sit like L from Death Note for like 3 months when I was in 9th grade

What a tard I am

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>>38285959
way to drop subtle hints to your paretns

> first grade
> brother told me to never go on toilet in school
> had to pee
> peed in the classroom but i think nobody
noticed

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>>38300624
>Point both my fingers at her and say "aaaay good lookin"
>Had to move school in 2009.

you tried (lel)

>>38280988
F


Let me guess, I'll get muted for 2 seconds because I was not original

>>38302115
your parents shoulda taken you to that shrink

>>38282597
>>start melting into my seat and get the sudden urge to moan in euphoria
this fucking killed me

>>38292446
I think that's called studying.

>>38288352
I actually have to agree honestly. Call me a normie, but it's just my opinion. /r/4chan is good for seeing highlights and shit from other boards I wouldn't usually see. Plus there are some good gaming communities and other niche subreddits like that (see: /r/dwarffortress)

Lick up shower run off water after I was certain a woman had just used it.

>>38301087
That was a real treat to read anon, thank you.

>>38301195
That's really not bad, my older sister did the same thing to me, don't worry about it.

>>38304450
This is incredibly autistic but also something I could see myself doing.
Post the spreadsheets, I wanna see who won the French open this year

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>>38305445
>That entire post

origigignal btwww

>>38300781
Well ye, there are robots in the game. Dwemer shit.
My favorite funfact tho is that there is a base on the moon according to the Elder Scrolls lore.

>>38302361
only once?? I've shit myself multiple times growing up, even going around with it.

>be me 5yrs old
>broke your toy car
>fortunately wheels with axis survived
>take empty matches box and cut a bit on both sides
>insert axis with wheels and cover everything in duck tape
>enjoy your new car
when I was child I did so much more shit like this

>was beta wallflower in school
>no gf no friends
>spent lunch hour pacing alone
>see cool kids getting drunk up in the woods one lunchtime
>hmm
>steal a bottle of my mother's wine and drink it all in the toilet during the 15 minute play time
>feel nothing
>go to next lesson
>end up hitting on a girl in Physics, slurring my words, shouting at the teacher and telling people how I can't masturbate properly because of phimosis
>teacher calls in head of year
>I end up crying and hugging this 5'5 manlet head of year
>puked into his office bin
>ended up nauseously listening to a ~45 story about how he saved his brother from drowning
>mum arrives to pick me up
>she takes me to get a McDonalds on the way home

Never lived it down tbqh

>>38305599
It was Neymar.

I am currently at the phone, will post them tomorrow if the thread is still alive

>>38280674
>be 7 years old
>put a piece of cardboard inside my ear
>still have no ideia why

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>>38306400
another story
>be me 7yrs old and very religious cuz strong christian traditions in family
>find some dead pigeons on field on outshirts of your city
>think that you musn't leave them like this
>order to friends that we have to bury them
>dig shallow grave and put them in
>even make cross with sticks and plastic bags
>at the end pray for their souls
I have nothing more to say...

>be 8 years old
>alone at recess
>obsessed with Sierra games
>read the Quest for Glory 1 manual aloud to classmates
> they chase me away
> i corner a recess aide and read the manual to her
> this is how i spent the rest of the month

>be like 5
>live with grandparents because parents are assholes
>had bladder problems, I would need to pee every two hours or so
>very small rural house, so the toilet was outside
>dont want to miss my midday cartoons
>had a brilliant idea to just pee behind the cupboard
>did this for weeks until the smell got unbearable
>got found out and got a severe beating
they said I tested negative on autism test but I somehow really doubt it

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>>38306680
I'm surprised they even HAD television with an outdoor toilet.

>>38306483
Reminds me of when I was five and I snorted little puffballs my mom left lying around. Ended up sneezing some of them out but my mom saw and took me to the doctor and they used some probes to pull the rest of them out. How long was the cardboard in your ear?

>>38306725
it is nothing special in rural parts of eastern europe
>live whole live without electricity and sewers
>suddenly "modernization" comes
>you got electricity and television but you are too far away from city to got sewers
simple

>>38306725
thats what eastern yurope was like in the 90s

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>>38293423
there are no Mercury based digital thermometer though? that's not a thing. and if it was a normal mercury thermometer then the broken shards of glass would be a lot more harmful than mercury.

>>38280674
>7th grade
>retard is brought in from special ed class for a day in order to promote tolerance for the retarded
>retard continuously makes moaning noises in the middle of class
>get annoyed that no one is calling out the retard for disrupting class
>next day
>exactly imitate the noises the retard was making in the middle of a lesson as an experiment to see if i would receive the same lack of discipline
>no one calls me out like i thought would happen in order to prove my point about double standards
>everyone thought I was a retard after that

>>38285632
You're only autistic if you didn't do this

>>38299832
Not only does he explain it in his fucking post you replied to the wrong one

>>38303153
Where would we be without anime?

>>38306400
>>38306653
Anon the only autistic thing about these is you don't know what autistic means, they are both totally commonplace childhood occurrences. Read the other stories for examples of what is meant by it.

>>38306653
>who else here /angelish/

>>38280988
F

I'll never forget the moldy toilet paper man :(

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>>38306919

kek, you fucking retard

>>38280988
F
Rip my man